WEBVTT 1 00:00:05.960 --> 00:00:09.160 Who what's up, beautiful people. It is your baby mama, favorite baby 2 00:00:09.160 --> 00:00:14.039 Mama, Stormy Pe and this is another episode of Chocolate Chip and Zip the 3 00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:18.480 modern day female perspective. Duramn song, back at it again, boom and 4 00:00:18.519 --> 00:00:20.280 back at it again. We just go and get it right out the way, 5 00:00:20.359 --> 00:00:24.079 get it done real fast while still remember. Okay, Philly, if 6 00:00:24.120 --> 00:00:28.079 the only thing you are getting for Valentine's Day is a snap from team Snapchat, 7 00:00:28.519 --> 00:00:31.320 or if you're sick of doing the same thing with your partner, dinner, 8 00:00:31.480 --> 00:00:34.000 date, movie, whatever, don't even worry about that. I got 9 00:00:34.039 --> 00:00:38.000 you covered. February seventeenth at World Cafe Live, come to Chocolate Chip and 10 00:00:38.079 --> 00:00:41.960 Sip live taping with me, Stormy p. We got games, we got 11 00:00:42.039 --> 00:00:46.119 prizes. It's a whole bunch of fun. Okay. Whether you're a side 12 00:00:46.159 --> 00:00:49.119 chick or a main chick, single or in a relationship, this is the 13 00:00:49.159 --> 00:00:51.520 only place you need to be. Click the link of my bio and get 14 00:00:51.560 --> 00:00:54.759 your tickets right now, or go to stormyp dot com. I can't wait 15 00:00:54.759 --> 00:00:57.920 to see you guys there. Yea all right? Boom and I did that 16 00:00:57.960 --> 00:01:02.039 one straight the last week, last few weeks, I've been fucking up but 17 00:01:02.079 --> 00:01:03.439 I did that one straight through. So go me, go, me, 18 00:01:03.640 --> 00:01:08.280 go me. Happy New Year, everybody. It's so good to be here 19 00:01:08.840 --> 00:01:15.879 amongst the Saints of nineties R and B love. Okay, I hope you 20 00:01:15.920 --> 00:01:19.159 all are enjoying your new year. I hope you all are. Seven. 21 00:01:19.280 --> 00:01:25.680 Please stop licking your nuts. Can y'all hear that because I feel like I 22 00:01:25.719 --> 00:01:29.359 feel like my man got a mic and like his tongue and nuts are on 23 00:01:29.400 --> 00:01:34.319 the mic. But yeah, so I hope you all seven, please baby, 24 00:01:36.719 --> 00:01:38.799 just set them say never mind, never mind. If y'all just hear 25 00:01:38.840 --> 00:01:42.599 the nut licking, just ignore it from now. Okay. I hope you 26 00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:46.879 are standing on business, and if you aren't, I hope this episode helps 27 00:01:46.920 --> 00:01:49.400 you get there. Okay, I don't know about you, but my twenty 28 00:01:49.439 --> 00:01:56.000 twenty four so far has been amazing. All right. Not only has Cat 29 00:01:56.040 --> 00:02:04.519 Williams enforced by standing on business, but also I just learned that, you 30 00:02:04.519 --> 00:02:12.840 know, I'm gonna change my name to Corretta or whatever because apparently apparently that's 31 00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:15.080 what y'all want, right, Like that's oh no, that's just Jonathan Major. 32 00:02:15.080 --> 00:02:16.919 It's just him. He say you want that? Okay, cool, 33 00:02:16.960 --> 00:02:21.680 whatever, But no, twenty seve four has been cool for me. I 34 00:02:21.719 --> 00:02:25.319 did my first show on the road with Tonight's Conversations and it was really cool. 35 00:02:25.599 --> 00:02:29.280 Thank you to everybody who I met in the Ohio. Y'all were really, 36 00:02:29.280 --> 00:02:30.719 really nice. This has been a new journey for me, but I'm 37 00:02:30.719 --> 00:02:37.919 really excited about it. And with that being said, I've decided twenty twenty 38 00:02:37.960 --> 00:02:43.479 four it's a new year, but the same me. Okay, I'm on 39 00:02:43.639 --> 00:02:49.719 my same bullshit, all right. And with that, I do want to 40 00:02:49.759 --> 00:02:53.280 say one of the things that I really want to carry over from twenty twenty 41 00:02:53.319 --> 00:02:57.039 three is my continued growth, because I felt like twenty twenty three told me 42 00:02:57.120 --> 00:03:00.000 a lot of lessons that I wasn't really paying to to. I know, 43 00:03:00.039 --> 00:03:04.240 the term standing on business was real popular in twenty twenty three, but me 44 00:03:04.319 --> 00:03:08.960 personally, I feel like I really started standing on business in twenty twenty three. 45 00:03:08.960 --> 00:03:15.439 Like all before a bitious tip toeing shit, I was tiptoeing, respectfully. 46 00:03:15.919 --> 00:03:17.439 I know, I will stand up here and say I was not staying 47 00:03:17.439 --> 00:03:22.520 in on a business abituous tip tip toeing, okay, tip toeing, and 48 00:03:22.680 --> 00:03:25.439 my Jordan's that was me, Okay. So I feel like by the time 49 00:03:25.439 --> 00:03:29.479 we got to the end, I really feel like I learned to stay on 50 00:03:29.680 --> 00:03:32.840 business. So this episode, I want to talk to you guys about growth, 51 00:03:34.520 --> 00:03:38.439 okay, the importance of growth and how it changes you and and the 52 00:03:38.520 --> 00:03:45.199 process the things you learned in between okay, And one of the things I 53 00:03:45.240 --> 00:03:51.919 want to say, I learned growth okay. And on my journey of growth, 54 00:03:53.360 --> 00:03:58.840 I learned that there are certain things that you do and don't do on 55 00:03:58.879 --> 00:04:02.360 the first date. Okay. Like for me, I'm not one of those 56 00:04:02.400 --> 00:04:06.120 people who I'll give you my number on day one and then we'll go on 57 00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:11.080 a date on date two, like we have to talk, check FaceTime, 58 00:04:11.240 --> 00:04:14.479 text, like I gotta decide, like do I really want you in my 59 00:04:14.520 --> 00:04:17.879 presence? And if I do. I realized there are things that I know 60 00:04:18.040 --> 00:04:23.839 I can and I cannot do on the first date. For example, on 61 00:04:23.920 --> 00:04:28.800 a first date, I'm not gonna order a beer. And I love beer. 62 00:04:29.639 --> 00:04:32.079 I love beer. I love beer. But on the first date, 63 00:04:32.240 --> 00:04:35.000 I am not gonna order a beer. You ain't gonna be in your group 64 00:04:35.079 --> 00:04:41.120 chet calling me Hank kill. No, No, I'm not gonna do it. 65 00:04:42.040 --> 00:04:45.839 I'm not gonna do it. Okay. Not only that I didn't know 66 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:53.600 that men took women who drink beer so masculinely, Like I didn't know it 67 00:04:53.759 --> 00:04:58.199 was such a thing. Like one of the things I learned in twenty twenty 68 00:04:58.240 --> 00:05:01.480 three is that men women who drink beer is masculine. I mean, as 69 00:05:01.519 --> 00:05:04.199 if there are fifty million other reasons why one would think I was his masculine 70 00:05:04.199 --> 00:05:12.040 but a little bit of Roseanne. Huh. I'd rather be Hanghilled than Roseanne. 71 00:05:15.519 --> 00:05:17.839 No. No, I'd rather be the master of propane than Roseanne. 72 00:05:17.959 --> 00:05:24.600 Thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay, I think that I 73 00:05:24.680 --> 00:05:29.040 really didn't know. I didn't know that like beer were sot taboo, and 74 00:05:29.160 --> 00:05:32.800 I think it mostly comes from in my family, Like we really drink the 75 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:36.720 same two things over and over again, Like it's it's beer and it's gin. 76 00:05:38.199 --> 00:05:42.639 So either way, when we ordered dreams, she were gonna think I 77 00:05:42.680 --> 00:05:47.360 was masculine or a pirate. Yeah, Like I'm like, okay, cool. 78 00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:50.199 I mean it's a safe space. Like you know, when I come 79 00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:53.240 to show up for the first daid, I'm not gonna have like you know, 80 00:05:53.279 --> 00:05:56.240 my peg leg and my parrot on my shoulder. I'm gonna be reasonable, 81 00:05:56.560 --> 00:06:00.639 be reasonable, Okay. But yeah, I just learned that men don't 82 00:06:00.680 --> 00:06:04.000 like that. That's it and it's all. But I think we all need 83 00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:10.480 to pay attention to who we're showing up ass or are we putting our best 84 00:06:10.480 --> 00:06:14.240 foot forward on first dates? And I think it's a difference between putting It's 85 00:06:14.279 --> 00:06:18.079 a difference between putting your best foot forward and showing up as a representative, 86 00:06:18.519 --> 00:06:21.680 because I think putting your best foot forward is like, Yo, we haven't 87 00:06:21.680 --> 00:06:26.040 had a chance to vibe and talking get to know each other, so you 88 00:06:26.040 --> 00:06:31.519 don't know that like I'm really a speak girl who chugs beer. Yeah right, 89 00:06:31.680 --> 00:06:34.360 Like that might not be something that everybody can handle on date one. 90 00:06:34.439 --> 00:06:38.040 That might be like a date three or four thing for some people, you 91 00:06:38.079 --> 00:06:42.079 know. So yeah, I just realized there are certain things you do and 92 00:06:42.120 --> 00:06:45.519 don't do on the first date. Let me go to the live, real 93 00:06:45.600 --> 00:06:49.120 fast. Dartman seventeen said, I have my anniversary party at a brewery. 94 00:06:49.199 --> 00:06:54.120 It was a good time. Lorda Carlehone said, not the peg leg and 95 00:06:54.160 --> 00:07:00.600 the pirate your favorite holiday says pirate drink rum Oh, they do drink from. 96 00:07:01.560 --> 00:07:05.399 They do drink from. It's still a manly drink though, drink they 97 00:07:05.480 --> 00:07:13.040 want. Shan said, pirates can drink whatever they want. Think it's identified 98 00:07:13.079 --> 00:07:16.439 pots nowadays. What Loda Carle said, No, women who drink beer are 99 00:07:16.439 --> 00:07:20.639 cool. I don't think that unless she's actually masculine. Dartmann seventeen says, 100 00:07:20.639 --> 00:07:24.120 you look like a burper. Maybe I am a burper and I don't need 101 00:07:24.120 --> 00:07:26.160 the beer to be a burper, Like that's just it, and that's all 102 00:07:26.199 --> 00:07:29.680 I got. I have a good heart, though, does that get yes? 103 00:07:29.839 --> 00:07:35.920 Okay? Good? So we're talking a little bit about growth and the 104 00:07:35.959 --> 00:07:40.160 things that I've learned from twenty twenty three to now. Things I don't want 105 00:07:40.160 --> 00:07:43.240 to carry over, things that I might want to stay in twenty twenty three. 106 00:07:43.839 --> 00:07:51.279 And growth comes in many ways, and I feel like sometimes it really 107 00:07:51.360 --> 00:07:57.360 just kicks you in the back of the head, right, Like sometimes you 108 00:07:57.480 --> 00:08:01.720 really are thick in the midst of something and you realize, damn the fuck 109 00:08:01.720 --> 00:08:09.199 am I doing? Right? So one of my biggest moments of growth from 110 00:08:09.240 --> 00:08:16.480 twenty twenty three is I realized I was really harassing the nigga that I didn't 111 00:08:16.480 --> 00:08:22.480 want to be with. I didn't know what to be with this thing. 112 00:08:26.519 --> 00:08:31.319 I really had to stop and say, bitch, what are we doing? 113 00:08:33.639 --> 00:08:37.759 And before y'all start trying to come for me. I want you to realize 114 00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:41.679 a lot of y'all are doing the exact same thing. You're being annoying as 115 00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:46.720 fuck, controlling as fuck in the way for someone you have no intentions on 116 00:08:46.840 --> 00:08:52.120 being with. You don't even really like this person. And whether it be 117 00:08:52.159 --> 00:08:54.679 out of boredom, whether it be out of loneliness, whether it be out 118 00:08:54.759 --> 00:09:01.279 of you know, ill intentions, it doesn't matter. Like at some point 119 00:09:01.399 --> 00:09:05.240 we have to sit back and realize I'm wasting this person time. And not 120 00:09:05.440 --> 00:09:09.320 only am I wasting this person time, I'm being annoying as fuck while I 121 00:09:09.360 --> 00:09:13.200 do it. And that's like one of the moments of growth for me. 122 00:09:13.559 --> 00:09:16.799 Like I think it really came out of when I talk about, like, 123 00:09:16.840 --> 00:09:20.840 you know, dating out of desperation. I realized I really was just wasting 124 00:09:20.879 --> 00:09:24.919 people time because I didn't want to be by myself. That's crazy, Like 125 00:09:26.519 --> 00:09:30.480 do you understand the growth that it takes to acknowledge that, Like, yo, 126 00:09:30.639 --> 00:09:33.080 I know I don't want to be with you, but I'm also not 127 00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:39.039 doing anything. So what's tip And I'm not saying any of this it's okay. 128 00:09:39.559 --> 00:09:43.360 I'm not saying any of this is okay. What I'm saying is this 129 00:09:43.440 --> 00:09:48.240 is what I learned, and I think once we be real with ourselves, 130 00:09:48.679 --> 00:09:52.240 this is how we cleanse the dating pool, ladies and gentlemen. We take 131 00:09:52.240 --> 00:09:58.080 this accountability, We reach these fucking revelations, and we move forward purpose like 132 00:10:00.879 --> 00:10:05.440 talk how much shit you want? Nine times out of ten you all are 133 00:10:05.480 --> 00:10:09.240 on somebody's roster and you are not who they want, or you have someone 134 00:10:09.360 --> 00:10:13.799 on your roster and they're nothing like what you're looking for. Like, we 135 00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:16.679 really have to take accountability and be like, yo, sometimes we be out 136 00:10:16.679 --> 00:10:24.120 here wasting people time. Okay, all right, Cat Williams, I'm just 137 00:10:24.200 --> 00:10:31.759 saying, y'ain't never did that before. I'm just saying. A breezy two 138 00:10:31.799 --> 00:10:33.879 three five seven said firefire a party, Barbie. Now, how the fuck 139 00:10:33.919 --> 00:10:37.679 did he get back in here? I don't know. Oh not that firefighter, 140 00:10:37.720 --> 00:10:41.279 A different one though, Yo. Why I was at the gym the 141 00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:45.720 other day, y'all Remember that guy who fucking we went on a first date 142 00:10:45.759 --> 00:10:48.080 riding bikes and then his car didn't go reversed and I had to help him 143 00:10:48.080 --> 00:10:54.759 push his car. You remember shot Uh, he is a firefighter, and 144 00:10:54.799 --> 00:10:58.279 he showed up to the gym. I was at because like the building alarm 145 00:10:58.360 --> 00:11:00.799 is going off, and I was like, oh my god, hey, 146 00:11:00.879 --> 00:11:05.840 how are you? So we had like short conversations and then he immediately texted 147 00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:07.919 me like, hey, who are you dating? Right now? I'm going 148 00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:11.919 to committed relationship with my Lord Save Jesus Christ, Like I just please, 149 00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:15.919 Like I'm not gonna keep going back and forth with you like this, This 150 00:11:15.960 --> 00:11:20.320 is enough, This is enough. Loaded Carleon says, I don't break carts, 151 00:11:20.360 --> 00:11:24.039 amend them. That sounds like something a fuck boy would say. Okay, 152 00:11:26.799 --> 00:11:30.759 right, gift the keys. What's up, baby? What's up? 153 00:11:33.399 --> 00:11:37.840 Loaded Carlyon says, I don't want a roster, and Shrifted Villain says, 154 00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:43.039 is that how you ended up with? I'm not talking about firefightbody. Yeah, 155 00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:48.759 So I think we all need to let's do a quick exercise. Right 156 00:11:48.480 --> 00:11:52.960 when you sit and you think about the people you are giving your time and 157 00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:56.200 your attention to, whether it be texting, whether it be your body, 158 00:11:56.240 --> 00:11:58.720 whether it be your time, whether it be FaceTime calling, whatever, Right, 159 00:12:00.759 --> 00:12:03.519 honestly, act yourself. Is this someone I want to be with? 160 00:12:05.480 --> 00:12:09.759 Think about it? Because I guarantee you got at least one person on your 161 00:12:09.840 --> 00:12:13.879 roster who they don't fit the mold. He's just bored. That's it. 162 00:12:13.919 --> 00:12:18.720 That's it. In't us all, that's it. You bored, you lonely. 163 00:12:20.679 --> 00:12:22.759 You're getting a little moist down there. Men and women too, Okay. 164 00:12:24.960 --> 00:12:26.320 So I just think it's like, come on, let's go, come 165 00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:31.879 on, let's go. I'm just saying, it's a real thing. There's 166 00:12:31.000 --> 00:12:37.360 no way if you have like people, you're entertaining. Everyone's going somebody don't 167 00:12:37.399 --> 00:12:41.600 fit, like somebody gotta be the mascot. You know. No, I'm 168 00:12:41.600 --> 00:12:45.720 just yelling nobody has to be the mascot. But I'm just saying, somebody 169 00:12:45.759 --> 00:12:48.919 on there doesn't fit. Okay. So when we talk about growth, right, 170 00:12:50.200 --> 00:12:56.000 I think that we have to continuously dig into the revelations that we may 171 00:12:56.039 --> 00:13:01.559 have come to last year, and for me myself especially few so I wanted 172 00:13:01.559 --> 00:13:09.559 to take a second and just peel back the curtain. Okay. So I 173 00:13:09.639 --> 00:13:16.600 know fellas have this weird obsession with trying to figure out things and the female 174 00:13:16.639 --> 00:13:20.759 mind and how it works. Right, One of the things fellas always want 175 00:13:20.759 --> 00:13:24.960 to try to understand is how come when a group of women go out the 176 00:13:24.960 --> 00:13:28.720 country or go to Miami on a trip, they always come back not friends. 177 00:13:28.879 --> 00:13:35.480 They always okay, somebody might've got hands put on okay, somebody might 178 00:13:35.480 --> 00:13:37.960 have got blocked, somebody exited the group chat. Like, how come whenever 179 00:13:39.320 --> 00:13:41.960 women go to Miami or go on a trip, they always come back not 180 00:13:43.039 --> 00:13:50.480 friends. Let's peel back the curtain, okay. The reason why women go 181 00:13:50.600 --> 00:13:56.559 on trips together and come back not friends. It always boils down to two 182 00:13:56.600 --> 00:14:05.320 reasons. Two reasons. One somebody was broke. Okay, somebody was broke, 183 00:14:07.080 --> 00:14:11.480 and two somebody was a whore. That's it, that's it. These 184 00:14:11.519 --> 00:14:16.240 are the only two reasons. I don't care how many women you pull, 185 00:14:16.799 --> 00:14:22.360 it's always going to be somebody was broke and somebody was a whore. Okay. 186 00:14:22.759 --> 00:14:26.360 And I know some of you are going to put put in a chat. 187 00:14:26.519 --> 00:14:28.879 Some of you were gonna say, oh, well, such and such 188 00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:33.480 was jealous of me, and she just didn't no, No, such and 189 00:14:33.600 --> 00:14:37.200 such was broke okay, And instead of her being comfortable enough to say, 190 00:14:37.200 --> 00:14:41.000 hey, I don't have enough money for that excursion, she actually got an 191 00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:45.840 attitude to shut down and act like everyone else was the problem. Bitch, 192 00:14:45.879 --> 00:14:52.000 I broke my money. Bitch I got my money. How is this on 193 00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:54.919 me? You want to go or not, like, let me know, 194 00:14:54.440 --> 00:14:58.240 let me know, Like you was fine in the hotel room, living it 195 00:14:58.320 --> 00:15:01.000 up while we was your that alcohol that we brought back to the room. 196 00:15:01.279 --> 00:15:05.720 Then as soon as we talked about doing excursions, going out to the restaurants 197 00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:11.879 to eat or taking a side trip, Babe, now your stomach hurt. 198 00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:18.879 What's happening? What's happening? Okay, what is going on? And then 199 00:15:18.919 --> 00:15:24.000 on the flip side of that, you got the horse okay, and you 200 00:15:24.039 --> 00:15:26.360 know what, it's not even always just the horse. Okay, you know 201 00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:31.000 who your friends are sometimes when going on the trip, right, but I 202 00:15:31.039 --> 00:15:33.559 want to say a majority of times, I will hope you would know who 203 00:15:33.559 --> 00:15:39.159 you're going on a trip with Kelly from Bible study and trying to throw the 204 00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:41.240 ass in the circle in the middle of the club. She don't like that, 205 00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:43.919 and you know she don't like that, Okay, So now she's feel 206 00:15:43.960 --> 00:15:48.120 weird and now she feels like she gotta be standoffish. Or every time we 207 00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:50.399 turn around just because a man buys a drink, though, mean you gotta 208 00:15:50.399 --> 00:15:54.159 go off in the corner with him, or you gotta go to a secondary 209 00:15:54.159 --> 00:15:56.080 location with him. That ain't what we're doing. All right, now, 210 00:15:56.559 --> 00:16:00.159 I know that security wise, we always say we can't here together, we're 211 00:16:00.159 --> 00:16:07.080 gonna leave together, okay, but we're also all adults. However, bitch, 212 00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:10.200 you want to leave separately every time we go out, like God damn. 213 00:16:10.440 --> 00:16:12.919 Like now your mama call on my phone. Now, your baby daddy 214 00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:15.799 calling my phone trying to figure out where you at. Now, how I 215 00:16:15.840 --> 00:16:22.679 get this? This ain't my fight to fight. So when we talk about 216 00:16:22.360 --> 00:16:30.679 why do women go on trips and come back not friends, once again, 217 00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:36.120 there's only one of two reasons. Somebody brow somebody who that's it. That's 218 00:16:36.200 --> 00:16:41.000 it. And then like I just want to dive into the dive into this, 219 00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:48.080 this hordem a little bit because uh, lovely Serena, oh says Kelly 220 00:16:48.120 --> 00:16:51.440 from Bible Study, is a different person in my Tego Bay. Now you're 221 00:16:51.440 --> 00:16:53.519 throwing it in her face when y'all get back in the States. That's the 222 00:16:53.559 --> 00:16:56.120 other side of it. I wanted to I wanted to dig into. Okay. 223 00:16:56.679 --> 00:17:04.359 Now, some people truly believe once you get on that plane, everything 224 00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:08.759 is insane. Nothing else applies, all right, And once we get back 225 00:17:08.799 --> 00:17:12.200 to the States, back to the city, you can't bring up that whole 226 00:17:12.200 --> 00:17:17.440 shit I did in Miami. You can't. You can't. And there are 227 00:17:17.480 --> 00:17:22.319 some women who say I can't. I can okay, because you ain't Finna, 228 00:17:22.079 --> 00:17:25.960 and is because you ain't Finna come back to Philly and be judging me 229 00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:27.480 because I choose to be a whole in Philly, but you chose to be 230 00:17:27.559 --> 00:17:30.160 a hole in Miami. No, no, no, we both hosts. 231 00:17:32.039 --> 00:17:33.519 Okay, don't trying to come up here and act all holier than thou. 232 00:17:33.640 --> 00:17:38.359 That's not what we're doing. That's not it. Because you you you you 233 00:17:38.680 --> 00:17:41.519 a sucking Salem dick at the bar. Remember movies in my Tago Bay. 234 00:17:41.680 --> 00:17:45.759 Remember remember that was you. That wasn't me, Okay. I was just 235 00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:48.400 out here doing the limbo, mine of my business. You was out here 236 00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:51.319 doing the limbo, which pants off what we're doing, what we're doing. 237 00:17:52.160 --> 00:17:56.839 So yeah, yeah, that's it. That's it, in case you were 238 00:17:56.839 --> 00:18:00.279 ever wondering. And I hate it. I hate that it has to be 239 00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:07.759 that way. But you know what's crazy. I've only I've only I've only 240 00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:15.759 came back, not friends once. Where are you laughing? You have to 241 00:18:15.799 --> 00:18:18.279 think about that because I got some good ass stats. I'm just saying. 242 00:18:19.039 --> 00:18:22.680 One of four friends is going to be a whore, bruh, Like if 243 00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:26.680 I was, if I was a husband, I'm gonna be mad, like 244 00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:30.720 damn, Like, so how many people going five? Damn? Somebody gonna 245 00:18:30.720 --> 00:18:33.279 be a whore? Potentially too. I know you ain't gonna be broke, 246 00:18:33.960 --> 00:18:37.839 but like, dang, that means you could be a whore. That's crazy. 247 00:18:37.559 --> 00:18:41.839 So who else going? Kelly Kelly with the big butt? Oh yeah, 248 00:18:41.920 --> 00:18:49.720 she definitely for hell No. Yeah, I've only came back not friends 249 00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:59.599 once and it's actually because my homie was broke and I was like footing the 250 00:18:59.599 --> 00:19:03.359 bill for both of us, and we didn't articulate that to everyone else in 251 00:19:03.400 --> 00:19:10.000 the group, so they actually was beefing with my homie thinking like, oh, 252 00:19:10.039 --> 00:19:12.039 you ain't putting your shit up, But we never discussed like yo on 253 00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:15.160 my card is enough for both of us, because I felt like it was 254 00:19:15.160 --> 00:19:17.839 a nobody fucking business. If the whole bill is being paid, it's not 255 00:19:17.880 --> 00:19:22.519 nobody fucking business, right. So yeah, long story short, like half 256 00:19:22.519 --> 00:19:25.799 of us left like halfway through the trip and me and my homie just stayed 257 00:19:25.880 --> 00:19:27.960 till like the end of it. Yeah, it was real bad, but 258 00:19:29.279 --> 00:19:32.240 and then like they ended up having like words at the dinner table, like 259 00:19:32.279 --> 00:19:37.039 we're at a five star restaurant and my wonder home and my one friend it's 260 00:19:37.079 --> 00:19:40.400 like, yo, you wanna put your guard down, And my homie is 261 00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:44.559 like, bitch, I'll socked the shit out y'all Like whatever we minju. 262 00:19:44.640 --> 00:19:49.759 We are like at a nice restaurant, dressed up, like looking very presentable, 263 00:19:51.079 --> 00:19:55.000 and it just went left real fast. So I speak, I speak. 264 00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:59.759 I speak from a place of experience. When women come back now, 265 00:19:59.799 --> 00:20:02.559 friend, it's usually because somebody broke or somebody be in a hole, And 266 00:20:02.880 --> 00:20:07.640 it's hard because both of these things are easily rectifiable and they don't have to 267 00:20:07.720 --> 00:20:11.400 hinder the trip or hinder the relationship, Like if you're willing to stand on 268 00:20:11.480 --> 00:20:15.160 ten tools and be like, yo, I'm brewke, so I'm not really 269 00:20:15.160 --> 00:20:18.000 trying to do a whole bunch of excursions. This is what I got paid 270 00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:21.599 for, y'all. Can you know? This is what I got enough money 271 00:20:21.640 --> 00:20:25.119 for. Y'all can go off and do whatever y'all want. I'll stay here 272 00:20:25.119 --> 00:20:27.039 in the room, vibe X, Y and Z. You can't be mad 273 00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:30.519 because niggas want to go out and still have fun because they brought their money 274 00:20:30.519 --> 00:20:33.480 and you didn't you knew that when you was ordering Uber eats all week? 275 00:20:33.599 --> 00:20:37.799 Okay, relax, set your ass to the rumor relax. Okay. On 276 00:20:37.839 --> 00:20:40.400 the same token, if you want to be a little bit flirtatious, have 277 00:20:40.519 --> 00:20:44.240 a talk with your homies, like, yo, I'm trying to get the 278 00:20:44.319 --> 00:20:48.200 groove back. Okay. Let them know so they know how to move and 279 00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:51.559 they don't feel like they have to be overprotective of you when you get a 280 00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:52.960 little drunk. If you try and get a little ditch, just say that, 281 00:20:53.240 --> 00:20:57.440 like, you know, like, make it real, lovely. Serena 282 00:20:57.519 --> 00:21:03.079 says, make it not itinerary. Ask everyone's budget ahead of time. Yes, 283 00:21:03.599 --> 00:21:07.119 okay. So I'm not sure if y'all like pay attention to my socials 284 00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:11.000 or whatever. But when I go out, like on trips and stuff, 285 00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:12.160 I go out with the group chat. You know, we always say made 286 00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:15.319 it out the group chat or pink posse whatever, right, And one of 287 00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:21.079 the things I will say is, this is the most fucking efficient group of 288 00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:25.599 women I have ever met in my life. Whenever we go somewhere like weeks 289 00:21:25.640 --> 00:21:27.240 out, they're like, Yo, this the itinerary, this we got planned 290 00:21:27.319 --> 00:21:32.640 this, how much money you probably gonna need? And these motherfuckers don't miss 291 00:21:33.279 --> 00:21:37.920 don't miss it be between six and eight of us every time, never had 292 00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:41.400 an argument, never had nobody asking bitches what they're looking at, none of 293 00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:45.240 that. And I think it's really because we're very clear and concise in our 294 00:21:45.240 --> 00:21:48.160 conversations. This is what we need, this is what we're doing. If 295 00:21:48.160 --> 00:21:52.079 you want to do side things on your own, this is time allotted for 296 00:21:52.119 --> 00:21:56.119 that. Like bro, just communication, communication, communication for our stuff like 297 00:21:56.160 --> 00:21:57.680 the world and a lack of it really just be making life so hard for 298 00:21:57.720 --> 00:22:02.759 people. That's it. I got you. I'm gonna add you to the 299 00:22:02.759 --> 00:22:03.799 group chair. I'm gonna ask you to if you want to get added to 300 00:22:03.799 --> 00:22:07.000 the group chat, let me know, let me know, fellas not you. 301 00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:11.079 You have to have a vagina. Okay, thank you? All right. 302 00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:17.640 So I want to go back for a second. We were talking about 303 00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:22.400 growth and talking about things that we learned, revelations that we made, X, 304 00:22:22.519 --> 00:22:27.160 Y, and Z. Right. This is one I actually found out 305 00:22:27.200 --> 00:22:34.160 this year's recent conversation I was having with some man and fellows. I want 306 00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:37.680 you all to tap in and let me know, am Am I hitting it 307 00:22:37.960 --> 00:22:41.440 or no, Am I missing the mark? Right. So I was having 308 00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:45.839 that conversation with this man, and he was telling me about how he's building 309 00:22:45.839 --> 00:22:52.400 this girl and uh, he loves her, but he had expressed to her 310 00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:57.480 that he didn't know if he wanted to be with just one person for the 311 00:22:57.519 --> 00:23:03.279 rest of his life. Right now, he's an adult, like at his 312 00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:07.400 big age adult. Right up until this point, he's never been in an 313 00:23:07.400 --> 00:23:12.599 open or poly relationship. However, up until this point, he's never been 314 00:23:12.599 --> 00:23:17.799 able to touch the money that he's able to touch now, right, So 315 00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:21.920 I want to explain this one more time for you. There's a man who's 316 00:23:21.960 --> 00:23:26.119 in a relationship and told his partner he wasn't sure if he wanted to be 317 00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:30.440 with just one woman for the rest of his life, even though he's never 318 00:23:30.519 --> 00:23:34.160 been in a poly or open relationship, never swung, none of that, 319 00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:40.359 right, But he's also never touched the money that he's touching now. And 320 00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:47.480 I want to say, a lot of y'all men aren't polly. You just 321 00:23:47.519 --> 00:23:55.759 have fomo fear of missing out. Yeah, yeah, a lot of y'all 322 00:23:55.759 --> 00:24:02.640 men really aren't polly. You just have fear of missing out. You just 323 00:24:02.720 --> 00:24:07.960 have fomo fear and missing out Like that's real to me. Because he sat 324 00:24:07.039 --> 00:24:11.880 in my face and told me like yo, I just don't want to say, 325 00:24:11.960 --> 00:24:15.319 like I'm all into her and you know, I can give her everything, 326 00:24:15.960 --> 00:24:21.920 and then someone comes up that I never had access to before because I 327 00:24:21.920 --> 00:24:25.640 didn't have the funds or I wasn't in a position, and I don't want 328 00:24:25.640 --> 00:24:29.799 to hurt her, like a lot of y'all really think that, y'all be 329 00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:33.440 Polly, But you just are in a position where you're touching different money and 330 00:24:33.480 --> 00:24:37.200 you have access to different women that you didn't have access to before, and 331 00:24:37.240 --> 00:24:40.799 you have fear and missing out. You think that if I'm in this relationship 332 00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:44.480 and something better comes along, I'm gonna miss it, when if you was 333 00:24:44.519 --> 00:24:48.039 actually in the relationship, you wouldn't be paying attention to anything other than the 334 00:24:48.119 --> 00:24:52.720 relationship. Like that doesn't make any sense. So if you love her and 335 00:24:52.759 --> 00:24:55.480 this is what you want to do, HOI, then love her. But 336 00:24:55.599 --> 00:24:59.359 like it's you how to do facts or feelings like the fomo thing that's a 337 00:24:59.400 --> 00:25:02.200 feeling. Yeah, there might be something going on, but you actually have 338 00:25:02.240 --> 00:25:03.880 a solid way at home. If you can say that, then are you 339 00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:08.119 actually in this relationship or you just with this girl? Like I said, 340 00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:11.880 I don't understand like if you're in a relationship, you usually have tunnel vision. 341 00:25:12.079 --> 00:25:15.400 You ain't paying attention to all those shit. Now, I just want 342 00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:21.160 to say this doesn't apply to everybody. This just applies to a certain select 343 00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:25.000 group of men. Like a lot of you really aren't Polly because at the 344 00:25:25.039 --> 00:25:29.079 end of the day, once you have access or are intimate with these women 345 00:25:29.079 --> 00:25:30.880 that you didn't have access to before, nine times out of ten, you're 346 00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:34.680 gonna go back to your girl because you love her. You just have fomo, 347 00:25:34.799 --> 00:25:37.319 you have fear missing out. You just want something. Do you feel 348 00:25:37.319 --> 00:25:41.160 like it's like, you know, and like a Thanksgiving You don't really be 349 00:25:41.240 --> 00:25:44.079 hungry, you don't need a third plate, but you're gonna throw some gams 350 00:25:44.119 --> 00:25:45.960 on there just a case, you know, I throw a little mac and 351 00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:49.759 cheese take away or two just because just because it's here, just because it's 352 00:25:49.799 --> 00:25:55.519 here. I really feel like that's how some of you think that you are 353 00:25:55.599 --> 00:26:00.960 Polly, especially when we go into relationships with When you talk about being it's 354 00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:07.000 never about building generational wealth and working together as a community and raising multiple families 355 00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:11.640 and building income. No, sometimes when y'all talk to me about being Polly, 356 00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:17.480 it's just about fucking different visions. And then it's always like we haven't 357 00:26:17.480 --> 00:26:22.279 successfully We're not successful in one relationship, we haven't stilled it doing one relationship. 358 00:26:22.279 --> 00:26:26.480 We're thinking about five like it never competed to me either. But I 359 00:26:26.519 --> 00:26:30.079 mean, I understand, but I don't. And I hate the fact that 360 00:26:30.599 --> 00:26:37.599 this one percentage is so loud that it gives the poly community a negative narrative. 361 00:26:37.240 --> 00:26:41.359 I really do, because there are people out there who are really trying 362 00:26:41.359 --> 00:26:44.720 to build and stayd tintos down and be on some serious stuff, you know 363 00:26:44.759 --> 00:26:48.359 what I mean. But unfortunately this one group is so loud that it just 364 00:26:48.440 --> 00:26:51.839 overshadows all that, and it be like the wrong people saying the right things. 365 00:26:52.519 --> 00:26:55.720 They just be saying all the budshit they learned, the therapy that recession 366 00:26:55.759 --> 00:26:59.400 they got. They just be out here getting mad cloud over the dumb shit 367 00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:03.519 and be saying it be the wrong people saying the right things. Hello, 368 00:27:03.559 --> 00:27:07.000 out you need to stop sitting in our cars and talk to ruin it ruin 369 00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:10.599 it, ruin it, ruin it, ruin it, ruin it. Right, 370 00:27:11.119 --> 00:27:18.240 So Jerry's bell says, thank you, But why hold on? You 371 00:27:18.279 --> 00:27:21.039 know, I'm trying to scroll up. Give me a second stripes and villain 372 00:27:21.119 --> 00:27:29.880 says, tell Brah, when you leave with cheese, you get rats yo 373 00:27:30.559 --> 00:27:37.359 bars bars. Jerry's Bell says not all men are equal. Dwalda Rosa Star 374 00:27:37.480 --> 00:27:41.519 says he ain't never got bitches before money. Uh, if you ain't getting 375 00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:45.839 them now, you ain't never gonna get them. But you know what's crazy, 376 00:27:45.119 --> 00:27:48.759 Like you don't need money to get girls, bro, So I think 377 00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:53.279 that you don't need money to get girls. But in today's society where the 378 00:27:53.400 --> 00:27:57.079 tech men are the men who are really making the money, those are the 379 00:27:57.079 --> 00:28:00.880 ones who are having access to women that they didn't have access before. And 380 00:28:00.920 --> 00:28:04.160 once again we talk about just being the loudest, these are also the men 381 00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:07.720 that are on the internet talking about your passport road the girls here are trash. 382 00:28:08.039 --> 00:28:11.200 Not realizing the girls you are attracting the trash because you never really had 383 00:28:11.240 --> 00:28:14.920 money before, so you don't know how to move an these scenarios and you 384 00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:18.559 don't have the emotional intelligence or the wherewfall to see that woman's a gold digger, 385 00:28:19.119 --> 00:28:22.799 she don't really like you. Everybody that's on that kick it's on some 386 00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:26.640 type of energy. Shit. Yes, then yes, when they be talking 387 00:28:27.039 --> 00:28:30.519 like if you're on the energy. John, Then I'm I assume that you 388 00:28:30.599 --> 00:28:34.039 believe that you are what you attract. So if you're attracting trash, and 389 00:28:34.079 --> 00:28:37.680 this goes for both ways, if you're attracting trash, there's something wrong with 390 00:28:37.720 --> 00:28:41.359 you. Yes, you gotta look within. Yes once again, not all, 391 00:28:41.759 --> 00:28:45.680 Yeah, not everybody, but not even Yes we're a cover. Yeah 392 00:28:45.720 --> 00:28:48.160 yeah, yeah, once again, once again, not all. But I 393 00:28:48.279 --> 00:28:53.400 just want to say the loudest. We're talking about the loudest. All right, 394 00:28:53.960 --> 00:29:00.440 that's it, that's it. Ruxy Stampede says, So you do need 395 00:29:00.480 --> 00:29:04.079 money to get girls, because these are the guys that are really getting the 396 00:29:04.119 --> 00:29:08.720 money, laughing my ass off. No, no, you don't need money 397 00:29:08.759 --> 00:29:14.279 to get girls, but the guys who never Okay, you don't need money 398 00:29:14.279 --> 00:29:18.119 to get girls, But the guys who never got girls don't know how to 399 00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:21.440 weed out the gold diggers or women who just want them for the money. 400 00:29:21.599 --> 00:29:25.440 So it causes them to have negative experiences in abundance and pour that back out 401 00:29:25.480 --> 00:29:29.279 into the Internet and all these other spaces where people talk about relationships, and 402 00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:32.400 that's how we get these played out ass conversations, you know what I mean. 403 00:29:33.039 --> 00:29:34.400 So, yeah, the birth of a feather flock together. So if 404 00:29:34.440 --> 00:29:38.119 you're going around the same type of chicks all the time, of course your 405 00:29:38.440 --> 00:29:42.039 your mindset is going to be the chicks that you have access to now that 406 00:29:42.079 --> 00:29:45.839 you feel like it's an award reward because of whatever it is that you do. 407 00:29:47.359 --> 00:29:49.319 Yeah, now you're just going to have that tainted. Just like when 408 00:29:49.359 --> 00:29:52.799 women deal with fuck boys all the time, they have like all nigga. 409 00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:55.880 It's the same thing for guys. Is that we don't be talking about it 410 00:29:56.200 --> 00:29:59.759 until we get on the podcast. Corey says, I'm a tech dude. 411 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.640 I feel attacked. I said, not all, but I'm talking about, 412 00:30:03.680 --> 00:30:08.599 you know, the shiat fit. I was laughing at Buddy's previous statement. 413 00:30:08.680 --> 00:30:14.279 Rexts Stampede says, yeah, man, you know, I don't want to 414 00:30:14.359 --> 00:30:18.160 drag this, but I just want to say the conversation stemmed from us talking 415 00:30:18.160 --> 00:30:23.319 about how some men aren't Polly. They just have fomo fear of missing out. 416 00:30:23.480 --> 00:30:26.519 You are touching a certain level of money that you never had access to 417 00:30:26.680 --> 00:30:30.920 before. So you have access to a certain type of bitch that you never 418 00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:34.119 had access to before. But unfortunately, because you never had access to it, 419 00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:37.279 you don't know how to read out the gold diggers, and I hate 420 00:30:37.319 --> 00:30:44.200 that for you, but you can't let those negative experiences fuel how you interact 421 00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:48.119 with women moving forward. And I feel like if you're in a situation where 422 00:30:51.319 --> 00:30:56.920 your main reason for being polly is that you don't want to potentially hurt your 423 00:30:56.960 --> 00:31:00.319 partner because you may be coming into contact with that you didn't have a chance 424 00:31:00.319 --> 00:31:07.240 with before, I think the problem is you. I think you need to 425 00:31:07.240 --> 00:31:11.119 go talk to the lady. Pro tip like, if your girl can trust 426 00:31:11.160 --> 00:31:14.039 you, you have absolutely no idea what you have actually access to. So 427 00:31:14.160 --> 00:31:18.799 your girl might be actually down with having another girl she knew that you weren't 428 00:31:18.799 --> 00:31:22.839 gonna go nowhere. Never mind. Oh I'm not even gonna read that you 429 00:31:23.079 --> 00:31:29.359 is wilding my boy. One yeah. Four says if I never had a 430 00:31:29.400 --> 00:31:32.359 T bone, I might want to try it out, just saying okay, 431 00:31:32.400 --> 00:31:36.880 but gras Saint Greener, if you never had a T bone because you couldn't 432 00:31:36.920 --> 00:31:40.960 afford a T bone, that's different than I've never had a T bone just 433 00:31:40.960 --> 00:31:45.079 because I didn't really want to try a T bone. That's different, right, 434 00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:49.440 because if it's something where, for example, there are some people who 435 00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:55.160 literally only were designer because now they make enough money to buy designer. When 436 00:31:55.160 --> 00:31:57.319 they was working at minimum Way's job, they had no desire to buy a 437 00:31:57.359 --> 00:32:02.200 fucking Chanel bag, bottom shoes, none of that. But now because they 438 00:32:02.240 --> 00:32:06.359 have certain access to certain money, and it's nothing wrong with that. It's 439 00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:08.400 nothing wrong with that. If you feel like you want to dress in your 440 00:32:08.519 --> 00:32:13.240 tax bracket, that's cool. But to get up to that level and then 441 00:32:13.279 --> 00:32:16.359 ship on people who can't afford it or feel like not wearing it is beneath 442 00:32:16.400 --> 00:32:22.039 you. Come on, that's not being out of nowhere? Like, bro, 443 00:32:22.119 --> 00:32:24.519 was it you the same niggas walking around with them light up shoes from 444 00:32:24.519 --> 00:32:29.079 pay less? Okay, So now while you acting like you're above like, 445 00:32:29.119 --> 00:32:31.039 make it makes sense to me, Make it make sense to me. You 446 00:32:31.160 --> 00:32:37.359 just adults. Being adults is hard, especially when a majority of the adult 447 00:32:37.400 --> 00:32:40.559 community don't act like adults. Like God, damn boy, come on, 448 00:32:42.119 --> 00:32:47.480 come on, just like you gotta stop with this, like like it's not 449 00:32:47.559 --> 00:32:52.079 settling if you found somebody that completes you, bro, like you just go 450 00:32:52.200 --> 00:32:55.160 both ways like we gotta chill out, like and then you know what else 451 00:32:55.240 --> 00:32:59.839 really struck me? He never said, like, Yo, I'm gonna find 452 00:32:59.839 --> 00:33:02.640 someod that I didn't have access to, and maybe that will be my person. 453 00:33:04.759 --> 00:33:07.359 It was just I'm gonna find somebody that I didn't have access to and 454 00:33:07.400 --> 00:33:12.519 have sex with, and I don't want to make my girl say bruh, 455 00:33:12.799 --> 00:33:17.200 bruh, bruh. Come on on five six four four says wellhy pay more 456 00:33:17.200 --> 00:33:21.839 when you could pay less? All right? All right, I'm doring sick 457 00:33:21.960 --> 00:33:25.319 y'all done? Okay, all right, guys, So now we're going to 458 00:33:25.359 --> 00:33:29.920 get into the edible portion of the show. So the edible portion is when 459 00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.400 we read questions, comments, concerns that you guys and in and on the 460 00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:37.480 day that we record, I usually put a prompt up in stories. If 461 00:33:37.519 --> 00:33:40.839 what you have to say is too long or it's not on one of the 462 00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:44.599 days I put up the prompts. Don't even worry about that. You can 463 00:33:44.640 --> 00:33:52.839 always email me at inquiries at stormypea dot com. So, first question, 464 00:33:53.440 --> 00:33:59.240 do women find it sexy when you take the initiative on Valentine's Day and ask 465 00:33:59.400 --> 00:34:05.079 her and don't ask her about anything? Yeah, because you know why. 466 00:34:05.960 --> 00:34:08.159 I hate to be that guy and bring up a twenty twenty three conversation. 467 00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:13.599 But this is one of the times that women really wants you to lead. 468 00:34:14.440 --> 00:34:17.119 And when I say women, I'm gonna take the bank who's ever more dominant 469 00:34:17.159 --> 00:34:21.920 in the relationship because might be guy on guy, girl on girl. You 470 00:34:21.960 --> 00:34:24.480 know, whatever you do, who's ever more dominant? We really want you 471 00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:27.920 all to lead, Like, yeah, tell me what's time to be there? 472 00:34:28.679 --> 00:34:34.119 Uh? What's the dress attire? And should I take the special shower 473 00:34:34.199 --> 00:34:39.079 first? Because like, let me know what are we doing when it comes 474 00:34:39.079 --> 00:34:44.800 to Valentine's Day? Don't ask me nothing, Okay, tell me what time 475 00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:50.840 where I gotta be? What's the dress attire? Yeah? What's the dress 476 00:34:50.880 --> 00:34:53.119 attire? And if I have to take the special shower? Because maybe I 477 00:34:53.119 --> 00:34:57.440 don't want to do nothing. I don't want to know nothing. I just 478 00:34:57.519 --> 00:35:00.760 want to show up. That's it. That's it. And you know what, 479 00:35:01.199 --> 00:35:06.480 the less I have to think on days like Valentine's Day, the better 480 00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:13.599 the better because that gives me more time to special shower. Okay. And 481 00:35:13.639 --> 00:35:16.639 if you don't know what the special shower is, maybe she waiting for y'all 482 00:35:16.639 --> 00:35:19.360 wedding day. I don't know, I don't know what you'll want to say. 483 00:35:19.360 --> 00:35:20.840 I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't 484 00:35:20.880 --> 00:35:31.880 know. Right shot. You doing something with Valentime's Day. I couldn't hear 485 00:35:31.920 --> 00:35:39.039 you. Yeah, well, you know, if you guys needed something to 486 00:35:39.079 --> 00:35:50.039 do February seventeenth, what nigga, I ain't doing shit for Valdenhome's Day either. 487 00:35:52.559 --> 00:35:55.119 Oh my god. If you need something to do for Valentine's Day, 488 00:35:55.599 --> 00:35:59.599 it's not on the actual day, but it's still something to do. February 489 00:35:59.599 --> 00:36:01.079 seventeen, Our world haf a live. We got the live tape in and 490 00:36:01.119 --> 00:36:04.880 chocolate chip and sip with me Stormy pet and I'm bring in some of my 491 00:36:04.920 --> 00:36:08.880 friends and we're gonna talk about all the toxic uh not toxic, the healthy 492 00:36:09.480 --> 00:36:15.679 spend on these toxic conversations that needs to be had. Okay, once again, 493 00:36:15.719 --> 00:36:16.840 click the link of my bio we get your tickets or go to stormype 494 00:36:16.920 --> 00:36:20.280 dot com. Do it now, Do it now, Do it now. 495 00:36:21.480 --> 00:36:22.960 And yeah, it's gonna be a good time, whether you're a side chick 496 00:36:23.079 --> 00:36:28.199 or a mainoin, whether we have somebody shit you. If you don't, 497 00:36:28.239 --> 00:36:30.199 you might leave with somebody. Okay, So yeah, come on out, 498 00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:37.760 get your tickets. It's gonna be a vibe. Next question, and this 499 00:36:37.840 --> 00:36:43.719 one really grabbed my intention. Okay, so so much so that I had 500 00:36:43.760 --> 00:36:47.119 to ask you guys what your answer was. Okay, So it says, 501 00:36:49.119 --> 00:36:52.119 how do you put someone back in the friend zone after we had sex? 502 00:36:52.639 --> 00:36:57.360 It was only one time? And now my straight friend is trying to cuff 503 00:36:57.400 --> 00:37:04.079 me? Who who? Now, for a little context, this question is 504 00:37:04.119 --> 00:37:09.239 from a homosexual female and she says, how do you put someone back in 505 00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:14.400 the friend zone after we had sex? It was only one time? Now 506 00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:19.719 my straight friend is trying to cuff me? Who? Wow? So uh, 507 00:37:20.320 --> 00:37:22.639 y'all know me. I had to go to Algore's Internet and see what 508 00:37:22.679 --> 00:37:29.239 you guys had to say. And I'm not gonna lie. Some of y'all 509 00:37:29.280 --> 00:37:34.400 get on my nerves because y'all play too much. Okay, y'all play too 510 00:37:34.480 --> 00:37:40.840 much. So one person answered, the organization is going through a rebuking phase. 511 00:37:42.360 --> 00:37:45.800 Emails, Oh alt soon, Why y'all like this? Why y'all like 512 00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:50.920 this? Why would y'all send this woman an HR email like this? The 513 00:37:51.039 --> 00:37:54.480 organization is going through a rebuking phase. Emails go out soon. Bitch, 514 00:37:55.480 --> 00:38:00.440 don't disrespect me, don't disrespect me. Don't disrespect me. Right. Next 515 00:38:00.440 --> 00:38:09.559 person says, you should have whispered boo in their ear. What what what 516 00:38:09.679 --> 00:38:15.599 is wrong with y'all? You should have whispered boo in her ear? Oh 517 00:38:15.639 --> 00:38:21.639 my god? How who raised you? People? Who raised you? People? 518 00:38:22.280 --> 00:38:27.559 The next person says, start bringing the next person you smashing around and 519 00:38:27.599 --> 00:38:34.280 brag how amazing the sex is. Oh, so you don't want to be 520 00:38:34.280 --> 00:38:37.280 friends no more? Okay, because doing shit like that, we ain't gonna 521 00:38:37.280 --> 00:38:40.800 be friends no more. That that's because what now you don't care about me 522 00:38:40.840 --> 00:38:45.599 and my little feelings? Oh hell no, hell no. Then last one 523 00:38:45.599 --> 00:38:52.199 says, tell them that going back platonic is the best way to remain in 524 00:38:52.199 --> 00:38:59.239 each other's lives. Not gonna lie. It was only like four answers like 525 00:38:59.280 --> 00:39:04.840 this okay. Out of the hundreds of replies that I received, only four 526 00:39:04.880 --> 00:39:08.079 were on this tip. Grow up, okay, grow up all right? 527 00:39:08.239 --> 00:39:14.079 And I just want to say, baby, just tell them, tell me, 528 00:39:15.119 --> 00:39:19.360 tell them, like, just please, like, don't ever have me 529 00:39:19.400 --> 00:39:22.840 out here look stupid. I don't never want to be out here looking stupid 530 00:39:22.840 --> 00:39:28.199 over exerting myself. Bruh. I don't never want to be out here looking 531 00:39:28.280 --> 00:39:32.440 stupid over exerting myself. Baby, tell me, tell me, like listen, 532 00:39:34.159 --> 00:39:40.119 huh huh. And I feel like uncomfortable conversations. Is another reason why 533 00:39:40.239 --> 00:39:45.639 the dating pool has so much fecal matter in it. Okay, because you 534 00:39:45.719 --> 00:39:50.239 got people moving one day now mentioned how it looks for her perspective. Y'all 535 00:39:50.280 --> 00:39:55.360 been friends, now y'all lovers, But you're already skipped nineteen steps of building 536 00:39:55.360 --> 00:40:00.159 a foundation because y'all been friends. So to her, maybe it's going to 537 00:40:00.199 --> 00:40:05.360 pop it. And before we get into the scenarios of you know, sexuality 538 00:40:05.440 --> 00:40:08.440 and street and gay blah blah blah blah, let's just talk about feelings. 539 00:40:09.039 --> 00:40:13.719 She already had feelings for you as a friend for y'all to take it to 540 00:40:13.800 --> 00:40:17.239 the next step. On some level, she skipped building those foundational blocks that 541 00:40:17.280 --> 00:40:21.559 are required for the beginning stages of dating, so she might be more inclined 542 00:40:21.599 --> 00:40:24.760 to a little bit more for you. So how do we How do we 543 00:40:24.800 --> 00:40:28.960 go back into the friend zone? Is it even is it even possible? 544 00:40:29.159 --> 00:40:36.400 Did we open Pandora's box? Can we go back? Tell me again and 545 00:40:36.480 --> 00:40:46.840 will be lovers? And baby? No like all some real stuff. Just 546 00:40:46.880 --> 00:40:52.400 tell her, Hey, I love you and I appreciate you and I enjoyed 547 00:40:52.400 --> 00:40:58.000 my time with you the other day. I think that moving forward. I 548 00:40:58.039 --> 00:41:05.639 would feel most comfortable in that being in a platonic space up in the bathroom, 549 00:41:05.719 --> 00:41:08.639 not up in the bathtop, rubber dubb it. Okay, no, 550 00:41:08.639 --> 00:41:13.519 no, no, no, no, no, tell her, tell her, 551 00:41:14.719 --> 00:41:17.639 tell her. The best thing to do is to tell her, because 552 00:41:19.239 --> 00:41:21.480 if the shoe was on the other foot, you will want somebody to tell 553 00:41:21.519 --> 00:41:25.480 you that's it. And I want to say, you have to set and 554 00:41:25.519 --> 00:41:30.079 stand on your boundaries so you cannot be sexual with this person. Ain't no 555 00:41:30.199 --> 00:41:35.280 funny memes, Ain't no sexual well, ain't no sexual memes, Ain't no 556 00:41:35.360 --> 00:41:38.559 in the windows, Ain't no like weird touchy philly jokes, none of that. 557 00:41:39.119 --> 00:41:43.559 We're just platonic and you have to move platonically like. That's it. 558 00:41:43.599 --> 00:41:50.559 And that's all ambitiously said. Nah, just block her. Unk five six 559 00:41:50.559 --> 00:41:59.000 four four says realer words were never spoken. Sir James mcgiver says, what's 560 00:41:59.079 --> 00:42:02.039 up, stormy? Yeah, thank you? Hey, Hey. ThEC says 561 00:42:02.119 --> 00:42:06.159 friends can't go on in the backyard and fight, let alone. Revert back 562 00:42:06.199 --> 00:42:12.920 to origins email, I'm hollering, thank you. Jay birdo on five six 563 00:42:12.960 --> 00:42:15.039 four four says, am I crazy? But how about that person? Just 564 00:42:15.079 --> 00:42:20.159 tells the person straight up the truth, just saying I agree, I agree 565 00:42:20.159 --> 00:42:25.360 with one thousand percent, as wild as that is. Who would have thought? 566 00:42:27.159 --> 00:42:30.719 Garant Keith Harris says it was one and done, big dog. Thanks, 567 00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:36.360 though you cannot tell them man, that is not okay. It's never 568 00:42:36.400 --> 00:42:39.559 okay, that's not what we want to do. Uh uh. Stripe de 569 00:42:39.639 --> 00:42:44.119 Villa said, did she like it? She didn't answer, so I don't 570 00:42:44.119 --> 00:42:49.960 know. I don't know. I don't know. On five six four four 571 00:42:50.039 --> 00:42:52.079 says one time, it's fine with me. Drake voice, y'all are hell, 572 00:42:52.599 --> 00:42:58.679 y'all are hell hell? Okay, Yeah, So long story short, 573 00:42:59.000 --> 00:43:07.519 My answer is just to just tell her okay. Next question, who At 574 00:43:07.559 --> 00:43:12.960 what point is it okay to start spoiling a woman? I feel like I 575 00:43:13.039 --> 00:43:20.480 do it too soon and it just ends up with them gold digging. I 576 00:43:20.519 --> 00:43:22.960 know, I know, go ahead and get your answers out now, go 577 00:43:22.960 --> 00:43:25.000 ahead, because I already know. I already know. I'm gonna read it 578 00:43:25.039 --> 00:43:30.920 again. At what point is it okay to start spoiling a woman? I 579 00:43:30.960 --> 00:43:34.039 feel like I do it too soon and it just ends up with them gold 580 00:43:34.039 --> 00:43:42.679 digging? Okay, friend, right, respectfully, there is no set of 581 00:43:42.760 --> 00:43:45.880 rules on when you can start spoiling a woman. It all depends on vibes. 582 00:43:46.320 --> 00:43:51.079 And if you feel like you're doing it too soon and it ends up 583 00:43:51.119 --> 00:43:55.039 with them gold digging, maybe you are in danger. Okay, these women 584 00:43:55.079 --> 00:44:06.400 are praying on you, okay, bruh. If you feel like my man 585 00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:15.159 needs an adult, okay, it's not okay baby. If you feel like 586 00:44:15.599 --> 00:44:21.639 a majority of the women you start spoiling turn out to be gold diggers, 587 00:44:22.199 --> 00:44:30.559 you're majority spoiling the wrong women. Okay, Bruh, bruh, Come on, 588 00:44:31.239 --> 00:44:37.519 come on, strife. De Billain says, when you leave with cheese, 589 00:44:37.639 --> 00:44:46.559 you get rats. Honestly, Honestly, I am hollering. Jerrus Bell 590 00:44:46.679 --> 00:44:52.760 says, well when you really fuck with her. Marby Lyon said taking notes 591 00:44:53.920 --> 00:44:58.199 up to un five six four four says, show up with the pacer like 592 00:44:58.280 --> 00:45:00.840 Cold did and Martin. If she you stay, she might be a keeper. 593 00:45:00.960 --> 00:45:06.840 I'm hollering. Big Dave Chief two O five says, I feel like 594 00:45:06.920 --> 00:45:12.119 you just do it in your own time guarant Keith Harris says a woman is 595 00:45:12.159 --> 00:45:15.960 an investment. Sometimes you get a return on investment, sometimes you don't, 596 00:45:15.159 --> 00:45:19.519 but you have to learn how to read the room. Agreed. Pretty Boy 597 00:45:19.599 --> 00:45:23.400 Day says, you can't use that azure come online because you see what you 598 00:45:23.480 --> 00:45:35.480 get. Help me it did die, because you'll get women that's only invested 599 00:45:35.519 --> 00:45:40.440 in your money. Ambitiously says you ain't caughter. You bored her. I 600 00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:45.559 am hollering, hold on, y'all. The the thing the tripod died, 601 00:45:45.639 --> 00:45:52.320 so now I have to hold it. Come on, boss, it's so 602 00:45:52.480 --> 00:46:01.480 annoying. He's fucking annoying. Dark Man seventeen says, shy, it ain't 603 00:46:01.519 --> 00:46:07.719 no slave, y'all. Who sign y'all don't be on shod side. Clever 604 00:46:07.840 --> 00:46:15.079 Corey says that there's the gun line. Boss. I don't like this. 605 00:46:15.400 --> 00:46:20.760 I don't like where we're going with this, Okay, so let's go back 606 00:46:20.840 --> 00:46:22.960 right. So the guy was saying, like, you know, at what 607 00:46:23.079 --> 00:46:28.639 point it's okay to start spoiling a woman because he feels like he does it 608 00:46:28.679 --> 00:46:31.719 too soon and it just ends up with them golden. Okay, I don't 609 00:46:31.719 --> 00:46:36.480 care how pretty this woman is. I don't care how banging her body is. 610 00:46:36.639 --> 00:46:39.039 Okay, you have to sit back, remove yourself from the situation and 611 00:46:39.079 --> 00:46:43.960 asks is she there for you or is she there for the food, for 612 00:46:44.039 --> 00:46:46.559 the cars, for the house, for the money, for the trips. 613 00:46:46.920 --> 00:46:51.480 Pay attention, my brother, okay, because the signs is always there, 614 00:46:52.639 --> 00:46:57.639 Bruh. The signs is always there. And it's a difference between knowing your 615 00:46:57.679 --> 00:47:00.719 worth, setting your standards, and feeling like certain things you don't want to 616 00:47:00.760 --> 00:47:05.679 partake in and realizing, like, yo, you're actually just not interested in 617 00:47:05.679 --> 00:47:09.280 getting to know this man. You're actually not interested in having a good time 618 00:47:09.320 --> 00:47:13.519 with this man. At some point you have decided that it has to be 619 00:47:13.599 --> 00:47:17.079 transactional, when in all actuality you expect him to blow money on you. 620 00:47:17.639 --> 00:47:22.400 And what does he get in return? What's the ROI? What's the ROI? 621 00:47:23.360 --> 00:47:27.639 No, seriously, what's the ROI? Like? When dating? I 622 00:47:27.679 --> 00:47:31.239 want to stop the narrative of men don't get an ROI. I don't like 623 00:47:31.280 --> 00:47:35.079 that. I don't like that at all. It doesn't sit well with me. 624 00:47:37.119 --> 00:47:42.760 Place cool name here says what would Coretta want? Come on? What 625 00:47:43.239 --> 00:47:46.679 would Coretta do? Come on? Now? Huh? Now? In the 626 00:47:46.679 --> 00:47:51.639 same sentence, Coretta would be with a man who would like you know what? 627 00:47:51.679 --> 00:47:53.599 This goes back to, And I hate to say it. I hate 628 00:47:53.639 --> 00:48:00.320 to say it. Right, like, if a woman fucks with you, 629 00:48:00.440 --> 00:48:05.920 she settles for less and when I say settles for less, I mean and 630 00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:07.800 the effort that you put out, I mean the money that you spend, 631 00:48:08.360 --> 00:48:15.280 I mean everything. Right, So it's like, Yo, they asking me 632 00:48:15.320 --> 00:48:17.280 to do X, Y and z, but to the guy who may be 633 00:48:17.320 --> 00:48:21.760 more attractive, taller, whatever, they don't even gott to do half as 634 00:48:21.840 --> 00:48:23.679 much. And it's like, no, stand on your shit. If you 635 00:48:23.760 --> 00:48:27.280 got something to offer, make sure she know it. Like, baby, 636 00:48:27.280 --> 00:48:29.880 you gotta enjoy me. You can't just say you joy my money. That's 637 00:48:29.880 --> 00:48:34.840 not it. That's not it. And they come in many ways. Yeah 638 00:48:35.079 --> 00:48:39.079 yeah. And the crazy part is it ain't even just the bad bitches acting 639 00:48:39.199 --> 00:48:44.679 like this. It be all of them. It be the less stands too. 640 00:48:45.440 --> 00:48:47.480 It's always the have nots, but sometimes be the less than and have 641 00:48:47.719 --> 00:48:53.199 nots don't less. You get a brokeie with a body, Oh my god, 642 00:48:53.559 --> 00:48:58.800 oh my god, a brookie with a body. Baby, she don't 643 00:48:58.840 --> 00:49:06.400 even got a ha face. She know, she know? Oh aw hate 644 00:49:06.400 --> 00:49:09.519 that for you. So yeah, how do you know? Make sure? 645 00:49:10.760 --> 00:49:15.400 How do you know? I'm gonna say, there's never a good time to 646 00:49:15.440 --> 00:49:19.440 start spoiling a woman. Whatever you choose to do, it should be on 647 00:49:19.480 --> 00:49:22.360 a timeline based on vibes. Okay, how is she making you feel? 648 00:49:22.559 --> 00:49:25.840 Okay, if somebody else was telling you about the way she was treating you, 649 00:49:25.920 --> 00:49:31.000 would you call them stupid? If so, I don't think you should 650 00:49:31.039 --> 00:49:36.039 start spoiling her yet, Okay, Like, is she investing in you the 651 00:49:36.079 --> 00:49:38.920 same way you're about to financially invest in her? Come on, come on 652 00:49:39.239 --> 00:49:44.280 with her time, with her energy, with her space, not just her 653 00:49:44.320 --> 00:49:49.360 body, like, what's up? Guarant Heath Harris says the brokies with a 654 00:49:49.400 --> 00:49:54.280 body hand is always out. Ambitiously says the gooney looking girls be the ones 655 00:49:54.400 --> 00:49:59.679 asking the most pretty boy day says y'all gave him the power, told you 656 00:49:59.719 --> 00:50:02.159 back to the old times, keep them barefoot and pregnant. The world was 657 00:50:02.199 --> 00:50:07.320 a happier place, Sir, I need you to leave. Just go ahead 658 00:50:07.360 --> 00:50:13.199 and get your ass please, thank you? On five six four four says 659 00:50:13.280 --> 00:50:16.679 is there a thing is moving too fast? I think there is a Yeah. 660 00:50:16.960 --> 00:50:21.760 I think there is a thing as moving too fast for men and women, 661 00:50:22.000 --> 00:50:25.000 right, Yeah, for women. I think that sometimes we give our 662 00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:30.199 body too fast for men. I think sometimes y'all spend y'all money too fast, 663 00:50:30.320 --> 00:50:36.559 like yeah, dang wow. Three hundred dollars first date for real, 664 00:50:37.320 --> 00:50:38.840 for real, and in the same talking to be like, yo, sis, 665 00:50:38.920 --> 00:50:43.159 she gave up the butt on the first date for real, for real. 666 00:50:43.519 --> 00:50:45.760 Now, there's no universal timeline. You move how you want to. 667 00:50:46.199 --> 00:50:51.719 But I feel like sometimes we're not paying attention to the energies that the opposite 668 00:50:51.719 --> 00:50:55.559 person is pouring into us or lack thereof, honestly, and when you aren't 669 00:50:55.679 --> 00:51:00.840 receiving and you aren't getting any of that good energy, any of that good 670 00:51:00.880 --> 00:51:02.960 time, that good effort communication. If you're not getting none of that, 671 00:51:04.880 --> 00:51:07.920 why are you giving some of you? Make it make sense? Like, 672 00:51:07.119 --> 00:51:12.440 uh, come on now, like is the dating pool really trash? Or 673 00:51:12.480 --> 00:51:15.440 are you just giving yourself away too soon? Are you giving your money away 674 00:51:15.480 --> 00:51:19.400 too soon? Are you giving your body away too soon? Come on down, 675 00:51:20.280 --> 00:51:30.880 accountability, Let me know right what time is that shot? Okay? 676 00:51:30.320 --> 00:51:37.480 All right, y'all, So let's recap first New Year's say me, same 677 00:51:37.599 --> 00:51:40.760 bullshit. It is what it is. But I have had a chance to 678 00:51:40.760 --> 00:51:45.440 reflect and notice some spots that I have grown in. And when we talked 679 00:51:45.440 --> 00:51:49.679 about growth, I realized that I'm not gonna order beer on a first date 680 00:51:49.719 --> 00:51:52.760 anymore because I don't want a man to call me Hank Hill in his group 681 00:51:52.840 --> 00:51:59.079 chat with his friends, and I said whatever. I also noticed that sometimes 682 00:51:59.159 --> 00:52:01.320 I be annoy and harassing niggas that I don't even really want to be with. 683 00:52:01.480 --> 00:52:05.119 I'll just be worried. Well, I used to, I used to. 684 00:52:05.280 --> 00:52:08.639 I don't do that nowhere. I used to. Also, when women 685 00:52:08.760 --> 00:52:13.039 go on trips, the reason they come back not friends is because somebody was 686 00:52:13.039 --> 00:52:17.360 broke or ho. I also realized that a lot of you men aren't Polly. 687 00:52:17.480 --> 00:52:22.719 You just have fomo. You're missing out and women love when you take 688 00:52:22.719 --> 00:52:27.880 that initiative and plan things on mal of time's day. And in order to 689 00:52:27.920 --> 00:52:30.159 put someone back in the friend zone after you had sex, the easiest way 690 00:52:30.320 --> 00:52:35.760 is just to tell them you don't want to do anything else other than be 691 00:52:35.800 --> 00:52:42.159 friends. And lastly, there's never there's no such thing as too soon on 692 00:52:42.199 --> 00:52:45.440 spoiling a woman as long as that woman is pouring back into you the same 693 00:52:45.440 --> 00:52:51.320 way you are pouring into her. Don't forget February seventeenth, Chocolate Chip and 694 00:52:51.320 --> 00:52:54.719 Sid a live taping, which means you can ask these questions or write in 695 00:52:54.800 --> 00:53:00.280 these questions live and get your shit off live. Okay, One thing about 696 00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:04.639 me baby, I'm gonna start a conversation. Okay, if you want to 697 00:53:04.679 --> 00:53:07.920 be a part of this conversation, now is your chance. February seventeenth, 698 00:53:08.079 --> 00:53:13.800 Philly World Cafe Live. We got Chocolate Chip and Sip live taping and you 699 00:53:13.960 --> 00:53:19.480 want to be there. We got games, prizes, giveaways, dope conversations 700 00:53:19.519 --> 00:53:22.519 and even more amazing people. Okay, click the link on my bio and 701 00:53:22.519 --> 00:53:25.039 get your tickets right now, or you can go to stormypa dot com. 702 00:53:25.119 --> 00:53:28.880 I can't wait to see you guys. I'm so excited. My message is 703 00:53:28.920 --> 00:53:30.840 always gonna be the same. Follow me on the Gram at Stormy p p 704 00:53:31.079 --> 00:53:36.280 EA at Chocolate Chip and Set. And if you don't remember anything else, 705 00:53:36.320 --> 00:53:39.199 please remember what would Kura do. I love you, guys, and I 706 00:53:39.280 --> 00:53:40.199 see you next week. Peace,