The cheated Juliette extracted from the memoirs of a retired burglar. The house in
question was what Peter, the scholar who corrects my proof sheets, caused one
of the Ruonesbury sort, the front facing a street, and the back looking
over a turfed garden with a lime tree or two, a labanum, and
a lawn tennis court marked out its white lines playing to see in the starlight.
At the end of the garden, a door painted dark green led into
a narrow lane between high walls, where if two persons met, one had
to turned sideways to let the other pass. The entrance to this lane was
cut in two by a wooden post about half the height of your hip,
and just beyond this in the high road, George was waiting for us with
the dog cart. We had picked the usual time, the dinner hour.
It had just turned dark, and the church clock two streets away was chiming
the quarter after eight. When Peter and I let ourselves in by the green
door, I spoke of and felt along the wall for the gardener's ladder that
we knew was hanging there. A simpler job there never was the bedroom window
we had marked on the first floor stood right open to the night air,
and inside there was the light of a candle or two flickering, just as
a careless maid will leave them after her mistress has gone down to dinner.
To be sure there was a chance of her coming back to put them out.
But we could hear her voice going in the servants hall as we lifted
the ladder and rested it against the sill. She's good for half an hour,
yet, Peter whispered, holding the ladder while I began to climb.
But if I hear her voice stop, I'll give the signal to be cautious.
I went up softly, pushed my head gently above the level of the
seal, and looked in. It was a roomy place, with a great
half tested bed hung with curtains standing out from the wall on my right.
The curtains were of chintz, a dark background with flaming red poppies sprawling over
it, and the further curtain hid the dressing table and the candles upon it,
and the jewel case that I confidently hoped to stand upon it. Also,
her bright Brussels carpet covered the floor and the wallpaper. I remember,
though, for the life of me, I can't tell why was a pale
gray ground worked out to imitate waded silk with sprigs of gilt honeysuckle upon it.
I looked round and listened for half a minute. The house was still
as death up here. Not a sound in the room, were in the
passages beyond. With a nod to Peter to hold the ladder firm, I
lifted one leg over the sill, then the other. Dropped my feet carefully
upon the thick carpet, and went quickly round the bed to the dressing table.
But at the corner, and as soon as ever I saw around the
chintz curtain, my knees gave way, and I put out a hand toward
the bed post before the dressing table, and in front of the big glass
in which she could see my white face, was an old lady seated.
She wore a blaze of jewels and a low gown, out of which rose
the scraggiest neck and shoulders I ever looked upon. Her hair was thick with
black dye and fastened with a diamond star. The powder between the two candles
showed her cheek bones like flour on a miller's coat, chin on hands,
she was gazing steadily into the mirror before her, and even in my fright,
I had time to note a glass of sherry and a plate of rice
and curry stood at her elbow among the rouge pots and powder puffs. While
I stood stock still and pretty well scared out of my wits. She rose,
still staring at my image in the glass, folded her hands modestly over
her bosom, and spoke in a deep tragical voice the prince. Then facing
sharply around, she held out her thin arms. You have come at last.
There wasn't much to say to this except that I had, so,
I confessed it. Even with the candles behind her, I could see her
eyes glowing like a dog's and an uglier poor creature this world could scarcely show,
as the latter set against the window. Since you seem to know,
ma'am, said I it is ah Romeo. Your cheeks are ruddy, your
poppies are too red. Then I am glad my colors come back for to
tell the truth, you did give me a turn, just at first.
You were looking out for me, no doubt, my prince. She stretched
out her arms again, and, being pretty well at my WIT's end and
let her embrace me. It has been too long, she said, Oh,
the weary while, and they ill treat me here? Where have you
been all this tedious time? I wasn't going to answer that, you may
be sure. It appeared to me that twas my right to ask questions rather
than stand there answering them. If they've been ill treating you, ma'am said
I, they shall answer for it, my love, Yes, ma'am.
Would it be taking a liberty if I asked their names? There's Gertrude.
Gertrude's hash is as good as settled, ma'am. I checked off Gertrude on
my thumb. That's my niece. For a moment I feared I'd been a
little too prompt, but she went on. And next, there's Henry and
the children who have more than once made faces at me. And Phipson.
Phipson's in it too, You know her, don't I. It surprised me
a trifle to find that Phipson was female. Three times to night she pulled
my hair and the rice she brought me. Look at it, all stuck
together and sodden. Phipson shall pay for it with her blood, My hero,
my darling. Don't spare Phibson, she screams bitterly if a pin is
stuck in her I did, at once stick her all over with pins.
By this time I'd begun to guess what was pretty near the truth that I
was talking with a mad aunt of the family below, and that the game
was in my hands if I played with decent care. So I brought her
to face the important question. Look here, I said, All this shall
be done when you are out of their hands. At present, I'm running
a considerable risk in braving these prosecutors of Yawn, dearest madam, the latters
outside, and the carriage waiting. Hadn't we better? Elope? At once
she gave a sob and fell on my arms. Oh is it true?
Is it true? Pinch me that I may wake? If this is but
a happy dream? Are you ready this moment? There's just one other little
thing, ma'am. Your jewels. You won't leave them to your enemies.
I suppose this was the dangerous moment, and I felt a twitch of the
nerse as I watched her face to see how she would take the suggestion.
But the poor silly soul turned up her eyes to mine, all full of
tears and confidence. Dearest, I am old, old. Had you come
earlier, my beauty had not wanted jewels to set it off, But now
I must wear them to look my best as your bride. She hid her
face in her hands for a second, then turned to the dressing table,
lifted her jewel case and put it into my hands. I am ready,
she repeated. Let us be quick and stealthy as death. She followed me
to the window, and looking out your back, what horrible black deaths.
It's as easy, said I as pye. You could do it on your
head. Look here. I climbed out first and helped her, setting her
feet on the wrongs. We went down in silence, I choking with laughter
all the way at the sight of Peter below, who was looking with his
mouth open and his lips too weak to meet on the curses of wonderment that
arose from the depths of him. When I touched the turf and handed him
the jewel case, he took it like a man in a trance. We
put the latter back in its place and stole over the turf together, But
outside the garden door, Peter could stand no more of it. I've a
firearm in my pocket, whispered he pulling up, and I'm going to fire
it off to relieve my feelings if you don't explain here and now, who
in Pity's name is she? You mug? She's the original sleeping beauty.
I'm eloping with her, and you've got her jewels. Pardon me, jem,
he says in his gentlemanly way, if you don't quite see, are
you taking off to melt her or marry her? For how to get rid
of her else? The poor old c reacher had halted too, three paces
ahead of us, and waited while we whispered with the moonlight that slanted down
into the lane, whitening her bare neck and flashing in her jewels. One
moment, I said, and stepped forward to her. You had better take
off those ornaments here, my dear, and give them to my servant to
take care of. There's a carriage waiting for us at the end of the
lane, and when he has stoked them under the seat, we can climb
in and drive off to the end of the world, to the very rim
of it, my hero. She pulled the gems from her ears, hair
and bosom and handed them to Peter, who received them with a bow.
Next, she searched her pocket and drew out a tiny key. Peter unlocked
the case, and, having carefully stowed the diamonds inside, locked it again.
Handed back the key, touched his hat, and walked off towards the
dog cart. My dearest lady, I began as soon as we were alone
between the high walls. It's a devotion of a life. Her bare arm
crept into mind. There is a little time left for us in which to
be happy. Year after year, I have marked off the almanac day by
day, I have watched the dial. I saw my sisters married, and
my sister's daughters, and still I waited. Each had a man to love
her and tend her. But none had such a man as I would have
chosen. There were none like you, my prince. No I dare say
not. Oh, but my heart is not so old. Take my hand,
it is firm and strong. Touch my lips they up burning. A
low whistle sounded at the top of the lane. As I took her hands,
I pushed her back, and turning ran for my life. I suppose
that as I ran, I counted forty before her scream came, and then
the sound of her feet pelt, and then the sound of her feet pattering
after me. She must have run like a demon, for I was less
than ten yards ahead when pe To caught my wrist and pulled me up on
to the back seat of the dog cart. And before George could set the
horse going, her hand clutched at the flap on which my feet rested.
It missd its grasp, and she never got near enough again. But for
half a minute I looked into that horrible face, following us and working with
silent rage, And for half a mile at least I heard the patter of
her feet in the darkness behind. Indeed, I can hear it now.
End of I cheated Juliette by Que