WEBVTT 1 00:00:11.839 --> 00:00:16.760 Hello. This is Laura Kane after Dark, the podcast that has just added 2 00:00:16.760 --> 00:00:22.600 a new member because it seems like every Thursday, this little boy named Elvis. 3 00:00:22.679 --> 00:00:26.519 He's not even in the picture. Uh sits in between us. So 4 00:00:26.679 --> 00:00:29.559 we have there's a third co host here, and then we have pretty Eric 5 00:00:29.640 --> 00:00:34.960 Rimmer. Hi, pretty sir Brian. Hey, how's it going? How 6 00:00:35.039 --> 00:00:41.759 is your Valentines? Was it fun? I mean you do you? Are 7 00:00:41.799 --> 00:00:46.880 you one of the Are you the kind of guy that says Valentine's Day is 8 00:00:46.920 --> 00:00:52.920 just a Hallmark holiday? No, but it's also my anniversary with my lady, 9 00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:56.759 so so it's special. So I don't really I don't actually pay attention 10 00:00:56.799 --> 00:01:00.960 to Valentine's Day. It's just anniversary. So if you you don't get her, 11 00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:03.560 you get her one card. I don't get her a card. We 12 00:01:03.600 --> 00:01:07.799 just do anniversary stuff. You don't get her a card? No, when 13 00:01:07.879 --> 00:01:11.159 was the last time you got her card? She likes handwritten notes. Did 14 00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:15.840 you get her a handwritten note? Yes? Ah? How cute? Well 15 00:01:15.840 --> 00:01:21.000 I got her. I got her a Stanley cup and I got her a 16 00:01:21.359 --> 00:01:23.599 stuffed cat plush. She loves cats. I got I just made her a 17 00:01:23.640 --> 00:01:29.959 basket of like stuff that is cute. And what's the Stanley Cup? The 18 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:34.079 Stanley Cup. Stanley Cup some massive fucking cups that chicks have now with the 19 00:01:34.120 --> 00:01:38.359 handle on it. Oh yeah, got her one of those. And you 20 00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:42.640 made a little gift basket. Yeah that is great. You're a good boy 21 00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:45.879 friend. You celebrated last Saturday, though, because Wednesday it's on Wednesdays, 22 00:01:45.879 --> 00:01:49.599 middle of the week, so I know it's kind of a I went to 23 00:01:49.599 --> 00:01:53.280 the swamp Meet for the first time, which one sports arena and your thoughts 24 00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:59.840 trashy some cool stuff though, yes, but mostly trash. Yes, mostly 25 00:01:59.840 --> 00:02:04.560 like people literally selling trash exactly. Some very cool stuff though, I did 26 00:02:04.760 --> 00:02:07.960 remember when I went. But I went to the lesser swamp Meat, which 27 00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:12.599 is the Spring Valley swamp Meat, and I sold all my old clothes there. 28 00:02:12.759 --> 00:02:16.840 I want to go the sant One. Oh that's too interesting. You 29 00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:20.319 should go to Spring Valley. They have a lot of good food. Maybe 30 00:02:20.400 --> 00:02:23.879 sports arena is very a lot of immigrants that come up from the border for 31 00:02:23.919 --> 00:02:25.719 the day. Oh, I guess they're not immigrants, but they just a 32 00:02:25.759 --> 00:02:28.919 lot of people that come up from the border just to sell their stuff. 33 00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:36.000 You've experienced not not, Yes, I have. I've been I've been at 34 00:02:36.039 --> 00:02:39.080 Kobe's. I sold some stuff there with a friend of mine many years ago, 35 00:02:39.639 --> 00:02:44.280 and then Spring Valley. I'm a swap meat kind of girls. There's 36 00:02:44.319 --> 00:02:47.879 definitely people to do it like every week money. Yeah, how we made 37 00:02:49.639 --> 00:02:53.280 I don't know, like four hundred and fifty dollars. Yes, this was 38 00:02:53.319 --> 00:02:54.840 some really cool stuff there that I wish I bought, but I didn't have 39 00:02:54.840 --> 00:03:00.960 space for bummer Anyway. Before we get to our host chats, I have 40 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:13.879 a very Wait a minute, what did you do for Valentine's Day? Oh? 41 00:03:14.120 --> 00:03:16.719 Cried yourself to sleep moving? Was this going to be? Were you 42 00:03:16.759 --> 00:03:23.719 going to ask me this in your host I can ask it now. I 43 00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:29.280 worked from five am to ten am, came home, took a nap, 44 00:03:29.960 --> 00:03:34.879 worked from three pm to six pm, came home, put on my pajamas, 45 00:03:36.520 --> 00:03:42.919 ordered door Dash, and went to bed alone. Oh my god, 46 00:03:43.039 --> 00:03:46.719 it's like we were It's like we were looking in a mirror. I don't 47 00:03:46.719 --> 00:03:51.599 even care. I don't. I hate Valentine's Day. Why it's stupid? 48 00:03:51.719 --> 00:03:55.039 I hate it. No, I don't think that there needs to be one 49 00:03:55.159 --> 00:03:58.840 day out of the year that you tell somebody you love. I think it's 50 00:03:58.879 --> 00:04:03.280 lame. What am I gonna do every other Jesus No, stupid. It's 51 00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:08.280 nice that there's a day when you can really commemorate your love for another person 52 00:04:08.479 --> 00:04:12.560 and spend Instead of spending like twenty five dollars and cut flowers, you spend 53 00:04:12.599 --> 00:04:16.519 one hundred and fifty flowers. Are so stupid. Okay, what's your favorite 54 00:04:16.519 --> 00:04:21.959 holiday? Then? Christmas? What you hate Christmas? I do, but 55 00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:25.759 I'm starting to like it again. Okay, what's your second favorite holiday? 56 00:04:26.519 --> 00:04:35.759 Uh? This is fascinating, by the way, Thanksgiving? I guess I'm 57 00:04:35.879 --> 00:04:39.639 not like a big, super big holiday. That was the fourth of July. 58 00:04:39.839 --> 00:04:42.480 I do love fourth July. I think I'm going to love love Halloween. 59 00:04:42.519 --> 00:04:44.920 Say this year, I do love Halloween. What are you doing? 60 00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:47.120 I don't know yet, but I recently discovered I kind of knew this, 61 00:04:47.199 --> 00:04:50.399 but I'm lots of Irish, so I probably feel like I should celebrate that. 62 00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:55.279 Now. How fun are your your did you do the gene thing? 63 00:04:55.839 --> 00:05:00.480 Yeah? And you're a lot Irish? Well, I'm seventy percent or like 64 00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:06.240 British and Irish. Wow, so Irish. You need to have yourself a 65 00:05:06.279 --> 00:05:11.399 pint, dude. That was the worst thing I've ever Oh my god, 66 00:05:11.639 --> 00:05:15.319 I'll probably go find a bar chill out, you know, just fell off 67 00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:20.639 downtown or Hooli's have you heard of Huli's dude, my god, Hey, 68 00:05:20.639 --> 00:05:25.439 did you hear any more from the game show that you auditioned for? No? 69 00:05:25.800 --> 00:05:30.759 Oh, I think lying on your lying on your interview is probably a 70 00:05:30.839 --> 00:05:34.879 no go. I don't think they actually care that much. I haven't heard, 71 00:05:35.439 --> 00:05:46.000 Oh, Holly the Center of Morality that agreed next week I will play 72 00:05:46.040 --> 00:05:53.279 for you an acting audition. I said, Oh, my god, for 73 00:05:54.360 --> 00:05:59.319 a mom who between forty five and fifty five, So I fit that category 74 00:06:00.800 --> 00:06:09.920 like Sunday for what for a short film? You discovered the backstage app Yes, 75 00:06:09.959 --> 00:06:13.920 this is gonna be the best thing ever. I can't wait so bad. 76 00:06:14.040 --> 00:06:16.279 I don't think I've seen this. It's so bad. She's like, 77 00:06:16.439 --> 00:06:19.720 hey, uh, Jim, No, I want to go to the park 78 00:06:19.959 --> 00:06:25.279 and I'll make us some peb and J's. I wish I had the script. 79 00:06:25.879 --> 00:06:29.399 It was so I only have a few lines. And they just want 80 00:06:29.399 --> 00:06:32.199 to see what you look like obviously and what you look like acting. And 81 00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:36.800 if you can act right, you should mention your minor league celebrity, former 82 00:06:36.839 --> 00:06:42.079 celebrity. They can look at my profile. It's all on there, your 83 00:06:42.120 --> 00:06:47.839 IMDb, my backstage profile. But okay, so the woman's name is Patricia. 84 00:06:48.000 --> 00:06:51.680 Oh yeah, because you screamed Patricia, and I have to I'm a 85 00:06:51.720 --> 00:06:56.600 hoity toity type of lady, which I also don't scream, really, but 86 00:06:56.639 --> 00:07:00.360 I could, I could, I could get there. My first line is, 87 00:07:00.439 --> 00:07:06.360 well, who's this fluozy? Oh boy? Oh wow, way to 88 00:07:06.399 --> 00:07:11.879 bring another gold digger home? Mark? No, you're not getting wow. 89 00:07:12.759 --> 00:07:16.279 Wow you could wow, look at the lousy gold digger. Okay, now 90 00:07:16.319 --> 00:07:19.560 I'm going to try it. When I tell Mark what you've done that you 91 00:07:19.600 --> 00:07:24.720 didn't come home at night, You're never ever going to be allowed in this 92 00:07:24.839 --> 00:07:29.319 house again, even if you're begging and crying. Wait, is there actually 93 00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:33.600 the script? Yes? Seriously, what what was the first What was the 94 00:07:33.639 --> 00:07:43.079 first line? Is this another fluozy? Oh? Another fluozy? Okay, 95 00:07:43.120 --> 00:07:46.279 here's how you say it. You can't. I can't be as animated. 96 00:07:46.319 --> 00:07:54.040 It's a less so you'd say this, Oh is this another fluozy? That's 97 00:07:54.079 --> 00:08:00.360 good? What? Okay, that's you're not good. The point of acting 98 00:08:00.439 --> 00:08:03.279 is not to act, it's to say how you actually run. When I 99 00:08:03.319 --> 00:08:07.959 was saying the last part, okay, we will pick apart my audition next 100 00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:11.560 week. I mean, I've written plenty of bad dialogue for that is okay, 101 00:08:11.839 --> 00:08:15.040 I want Brian to be the judge. Now we're gonna say the second 102 00:08:15.079 --> 00:08:20.720 line. Read the second line, please the line? Okay, the line 103 00:08:20.040 --> 00:08:26.519 is gosh, wait, I had memorism, and now that I blanked out 104 00:08:26.560 --> 00:08:35.519 after I spit that out. Way to bring another gold digger home mark? 105 00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:41.879 Okay, way to bring another gold digger home Mark. Yeah, that's much 106 00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:45.159 better because the character that he is saying is playing would actually say that. 107 00:08:45.200 --> 00:08:48.559 The character you're playing would never say those things. Well, thank you, 108 00:08:48.559 --> 00:08:56.080 where's my Academy award? It's another fluozy. No still to still too. 109 00:08:58.399 --> 00:09:03.799 But that's like, okay, oh another fluozy. That's better. But you 110 00:09:03.840 --> 00:09:07.039 have to think about first. You have to think who would say that? 111 00:09:07.080 --> 00:09:09.679 What type of person would say those words? A woman who is rich and 112 00:09:09.759 --> 00:09:13.799 has a son who is going to inherit a fortune sound way more pretentious, 113 00:09:13.799 --> 00:09:20.519 but also have the confidence to actually pull that off. Well, who's this 114 00:09:20.600 --> 00:09:26.759 fluozy? Thank you? Thank you? You need to talk, you know, 115 00:09:26.879 --> 00:09:31.519 have you seen the rested development? Yes, you need to talk like 116 00:09:31.559 --> 00:09:33.919 the mom to someone who's rich and is condescending like that. You know she 117 00:09:35.000 --> 00:09:39.679 has that kind of like you know, okay, how about this way to 118 00:09:39.720 --> 00:09:43.919 bring another gold Digger home I wouldn't put a giant pause. I know, 119 00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:50.879 I forgot. I didn't. I didn't need to way to bring another gold 120 00:09:50.879 --> 00:09:54.559 Digger homemark? No, you sound like you sound like lower class boy mom 121 00:09:56.360 --> 00:10:01.200 way to bring I did take a sip after I said that, way to 122 00:10:01.240 --> 00:10:05.720 bring another gold Digger home Mark? What's the pause after mark or in between 123 00:10:05.720 --> 00:10:07.639 mark? And that's I don't know, I don't know. I just put 124 00:10:07.639 --> 00:10:09.639 it in there. There was a comma. I would say it like that. 125 00:10:09.879 --> 00:10:13.960 You say it like this way to bring another gold hair homemark? No 126 00:10:13.840 --> 00:10:18.840 gold Digger home Mark? Way to bring another gold Digger home Mark? See 127 00:10:18.840 --> 00:10:22.480 he paused a tiny bit. Yeah, I agree. It's not good. 128 00:10:22.279 --> 00:10:26.200 Excuse me? That was that's the last line. The last line is what 129 00:10:26.399 --> 00:10:28.679 the girl goes, well, guess what, we're not together anymore, and 130 00:10:28.759 --> 00:10:37.519 I have to go excuse me, okay, excuse me. This is a 131 00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:43.919 character he's good at excuse me, excuse me. Kind of you need to 132 00:10:43.919 --> 00:10:46.840 project a little bit like you're like something that someone should actually be afraid of, 133 00:10:46.879 --> 00:10:48.919 though, because you're words have to carry weight, and you need to 134 00:10:48.960 --> 00:10:52.840 have a look on your face like you just smelled a big fart. Okay, 135 00:10:52.960 --> 00:10:56.720 I think, oh, because you're a director, I have directed some 136 00:10:56.759 --> 00:11:03.519 god awful performance like Gold and see my performance was amazing. He even said 137 00:11:03.519 --> 00:11:05.600 so, said, director even said so. No. But see I think 138 00:11:05.639 --> 00:11:11.279 I'm a better actress because I take direction better. I was taking direction better 139 00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:16.200 right from you. I didn't need direction because my performance was this spoty direction. 140 00:11:16.480 --> 00:11:18.519 See he didn't even have to give me any direction. Now, personally, 141 00:11:18.600 --> 00:11:22.440 I would never use any of that dialogue because it sucks. Yeah, 142 00:11:22.440 --> 00:11:24.879 but Eric, the person Eric is portraying, is more likely to say it 143 00:11:24.879 --> 00:11:28.639 than you. Thank you. That's just I would just say you're probably not 144 00:11:28.919 --> 00:11:31.000 right for that role. But I also would say I wouldn't want to see 145 00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:33.080 who is right for that role because it's kind of terrible dialogue. I think 146 00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:37.080 the payment was like twenty five dollars. No, I don't do those. 147 00:11:39.279 --> 00:11:43.120 No, it was like three hundred or maybe six fifty or something like that. 148 00:11:43.200 --> 00:11:48.759 How many days it was I think twelve hours of showing. That's pretty 149 00:11:48.759 --> 00:11:52.320 good. I know there's someone there. They ask you like, we want 150 00:11:52.360 --> 00:11:58.799 you to create a video a testimonial and unboxing this and that, put it 151 00:11:58.840 --> 00:12:01.440 all together, edit it for fifteen dollars. It's like, I'm not going 152 00:12:01.519 --> 00:12:05.240 to go to all that work fifteen bucks. That's so stupid. But anyway, 153 00:12:05.559 --> 00:12:09.600 I know the game show has not called back, but we need to 154 00:12:09.639 --> 00:12:13.639 talk about our fabulous sponsors. And one of them is a great person, 155 00:12:13.879 --> 00:12:18.039 a great money manager. 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I had the pleasure, uh like 189 00:14:52.679 --> 00:14:56.840 it was a It was a kind of a series of lemony snickets, fortunate 190 00:14:56.960 --> 00:15:01.759 events. I got to see my son again. He flew into San Diego 191 00:15:01.799 --> 00:15:03.559 because he was he was on his way to somewhere else. So I got 192 00:15:03.559 --> 00:15:09.799 to spend about six hours with him and his fiance. So they got engaged, 193 00:15:09.840 --> 00:15:11.759 like I don't know, like a year ago or whatever. Anyway, 194 00:15:13.399 --> 00:15:18.879 they've sent out the official email, the official website. They have a venue 195 00:15:20.039 --> 00:15:22.840 and they have a date. Oh and I don't think I'm supposed to say 196 00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:26.919 this, So you guys don't tell her. It's just between us. Yeah 197 00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:33.000 and the internet. You guys don't say anything, Okay, promise me it's 198 00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:39.279 just between us. But this is gonna be this will bring down the entire 199 00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:45.200 house. In tears, Charlie said to me, I think I want Evan 200 00:15:45.240 --> 00:15:50.559 to sing our first dance song. Oh boy, okay, oh cool. 201 00:15:50.399 --> 00:15:56.799 I'm gonna be like a puddle. A puddle, so will everybody else. 202 00:15:58.120 --> 00:16:00.720 Oh my god, isn't he so? But I'm going to have a I'm 203 00:16:00.759 --> 00:16:04.440 gonna have another daughter. I bet they're going to start popping out babies any 204 00:16:04.480 --> 00:16:10.320 minute because they really want kids, all right. And I know it's like 205 00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:14.799 you. It's like you getting married. You're the same age pretty much as 206 00:16:14.879 --> 00:16:18.440 Charlie. That's true. And uh, it's going to be in Portland, 207 00:16:18.360 --> 00:16:22.759 and my mom's going, and my sister and her kids are going, of 208 00:16:22.840 --> 00:16:30.480 course, and hopefully my best friend Stacy's going. My best male friend might 209 00:16:30.519 --> 00:16:33.639 be going too, because Charlie wants him there. Yeah that's cool. Yeah, 210 00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:37.840 Charlie really wants you there. So it's I'm just really happen. Yeah. 211 00:16:38.559 --> 00:16:42.360 So so I feel so fortunate because I got to see him in December, 212 00:16:42.399 --> 00:16:45.480 and I got to see him in the beginning of February, and now 213 00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:51.480 I won't probably see him until July. But like, are we allowed to? 214 00:16:52.080 --> 00:16:55.000 Are you and I allowed to dance inappropriately on the dance floor? Oh 215 00:16:55.039 --> 00:16:57.720 god, yes, her family's cool like that, okay cool Eric comes out 216 00:16:57.720 --> 00:17:04.599 swinging like Dick swing into Martin on the dance Oh yeah, oh my god, 217 00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:11.279 that would be incredible. I would totally do that. I would just 218 00:17:11.359 --> 00:17:15.039 stre through, just naked. We could set up like little like tables you 219 00:17:15.039 --> 00:17:19.960 can move around with, like, oh my god, that's so fun. 220 00:17:21.119 --> 00:17:23.000 I love that. In modern art, the inclusion of a penis is now 221 00:17:23.359 --> 00:17:30.359 high peak art. I know, right, it is include the full picture 222 00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:37.119 of my laoya cosmetic. I know soon it's gonna be like whatever. So 223 00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:41.680 anyway, I just I, oh, what are the duties of the mother 224 00:17:41.839 --> 00:17:45.920 of the groom? Nothing? Oh I don't think you do. I think 225 00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:49.880 I pay for the like rehearsal dinner or something. Yeah, yeah, I 226 00:17:49.880 --> 00:17:56.279 think that's my That's what I start saving. Are you gonna have are you 227 00:17:56.279 --> 00:18:00.680 gonna have it? Chick fil a Olive Garden? And if you're really, 228 00:18:00.720 --> 00:18:03.079 if you really, if you said to a lot, then we can have 229 00:18:03.079 --> 00:18:11.640 it. We can have it at crack Tacos talking Oh my god, Oh 230 00:18:11.720 --> 00:18:15.279 my gosh. Maybe it'll be at somebody's house and it'll be handmade. Maybe 231 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:18.799 it'll be about a potluck. That would be maybe, maybe Laura, maybe, 232 00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:21.920 oh my god, you could bring rice. I know you can bring 233 00:18:21.960 --> 00:18:23.240 tam food. No, do you know what they always have? You bring 234 00:18:23.319 --> 00:18:27.599 the rolls, because I can just like go, oh my god, oh, 235 00:18:29.440 --> 00:18:32.200 like the crappiest you get, like the multi grain, whole grain, 236 00:18:32.359 --> 00:18:37.200 like expiring this good Hawaiian. Yes, you know, I'd spare no expense 237 00:18:40.680 --> 00:18:44.960 known to man. Well, what's a big giant thing me? Everyone who 238 00:18:44.960 --> 00:18:48.319 wants a roll? You want a couple of small ones. I ate an 239 00:18:48.519 --> 00:18:52.680 entire half of a piece of garlic loaf the other night. Jesus, so 240 00:18:52.759 --> 00:18:59.400 good. You're just eating lots of loafs lately. Well, and I get 241 00:18:59.440 --> 00:19:02.480 rid of them just quickly. He goes to bathroom like ten times a day, 242 00:19:02.680 --> 00:19:07.279 like garlic bread. Totally all right, mister? What is Oh did 243 00:19:07.319 --> 00:19:10.440 we talk about your host chato already? Yes, So we're going to do 244 00:19:10.480 --> 00:19:14.720 this though, since you were so adept at reading that script of the Mother, 245 00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:19.440 Oh okay, I thought that we could change the scenario a little bit 246 00:19:19.960 --> 00:19:26.480 and make it like you're the milf okay, and the Amazon you're going to 247 00:19:26.519 --> 00:19:30.599 be interviewing for a different type of movie. I'm the Amazon driver bringing in 248 00:19:30.640 --> 00:19:36.119 your big package. Oh my god, I don't know if I can do 249 00:19:36.160 --> 00:19:41.799 this because I'm so so I'm just a little flower. Oh right, just 250 00:19:41.839 --> 00:19:48.000 a little little innocent little flower. You're on a milf. You're no this? 251 00:19:48.440 --> 00:19:52.160 Oh gosh, So I'm gonna I'm gonna am I answering the door. 252 00:19:52.519 --> 00:19:59.880 Yes, okay, hold on just a second. I'll be right down. 253 00:20:00.440 --> 00:20:11.319 Okay, okay, then him, Hi, ma'am. Is this package for 254 00:20:11.440 --> 00:20:18.119 me? It certainly is. Should I open it now? If you'd like, 255 00:20:19.000 --> 00:20:27.000 I'm going to lunch right after. What would you like to come in 256 00:20:27.079 --> 00:20:33.240 so I can open it up? I'd love to come in. Don't. 257 00:20:34.920 --> 00:20:44.519 When you come in and open your package, I'll be very excited because I've 258 00:20:44.519 --> 00:20:49.240 been waiting a long time. Excellent. Well, be you're going to have 259 00:20:49.279 --> 00:20:56.960 to stand back because once I opened the box? Oh what's in the box? 260 00:20:57.039 --> 00:21:06.839 Now? So is my is your package? Your? Is your package? 261 00:21:06.920 --> 00:21:10.440 Being you? Guys? They're already fucking by now what the darn it? 262 00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:12.640 Darn it, we already said the C word. Your pants have to 263 00:21:12.680 --> 00:21:15.400 come off, all right? That doesn't know. But I can't. I 264 00:21:15.519 --> 00:21:18.480 can't. I'd be the worst porn actor. I'm the worst actress. I'm 265 00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:26.400 terrible. Yea, I will. I'll send you, probably on the weekend. 266 00:21:26.599 --> 00:21:27.440 Don't send me those scripts. Don't no, no, no no, 267 00:21:27.480 --> 00:21:30.400 I'm not gonna send the scripts. I don't want the tagline either. I 268 00:21:30.400 --> 00:21:32.640 don't want anything about the log line. No no, no no no no 269 00:21:32.640 --> 00:21:34.480 no no no no. I will not bother. I will not bother the 270 00:21:34.519 --> 00:21:41.359 Prince on his precious, RESTful weekend. That's mister Prince to you. I 271 00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:47.359 will send you some of the auditions I've done, and maybe we play him, 272 00:21:47.559 --> 00:21:51.039 and then you what about the one of you playing the guitar on that 273 00:21:51.079 --> 00:21:53.759 commercial? Is that one? Do you have that one that is on VHS? 274 00:21:53.799 --> 00:22:00.319 Somewhere deep within my I think I think there's a roll out there for 275 00:22:00.440 --> 00:22:03.039 you. But it's not that one. An acting role. Yeah, sure, 276 00:22:03.119 --> 00:22:06.160 that would be someone nice, because I don't think you can play someone 277 00:22:06.200 --> 00:22:10.839 mean. She does on the show all the time. No, bitchy is 278 00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:15.960 different, talk about me. Nice people can be bitchy. The case in 279 00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:22.400 point. I never would you. I didn't say you were a bitch. 280 00:22:22.400 --> 00:22:26.519 I just said bitchy. Oh yeah, you can act really good at being 281 00:22:26.519 --> 00:22:33.000 annoyed. Bitch to you sometimes, Oh totally, but you're a bitch to 282 00:22:33.039 --> 00:22:40.839 me sometimes. Oh my god, emphasis on the raging part. You almost 283 00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:48.359 maybe cry, like three months ago? What did Oh yeah, you're so 284 00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:51.480 mad. I'm about to do it again. Was that three months ago? 285 00:22:51.599 --> 00:22:55.119 Was that three months ago? Yeah, I'm about to revisit it. You 286 00:22:55.119 --> 00:22:57.119 were about to cry anyways, that you're about before anyone walk in there? 287 00:22:57.160 --> 00:23:03.640 Probably you know what, Probably I walked. She's like, Bryan, oh 288 00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:07.319 yeah, oh yeah. All right. Now we're gonna play this fun game 289 00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:15.559 called What's in the box? What are you a Karen about? In a 290 00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:21.039 box that you were going to have? Maybe a lot of these I have. 291 00:23:21.559 --> 00:23:23.720 I think we should tell each other what they're a Karen about, because 292 00:23:23.720 --> 00:23:29.759 I think Aaron doesn't. Eric doesn't. Aaron can buy Karen and Eric never 293 00:23:29.799 --> 00:23:33.079 mind? You, Well, I should say what Eric's are? I think 294 00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:37.039 something you should trade what your Karen's about? Okay, like he goes, 295 00:23:37.079 --> 00:23:45.799 I go, here goes, Okay, I am a Karen about people who 296 00:23:45.880 --> 00:23:49.440 walk across the crosswalk. Sure, the light the little man is on, 297 00:23:51.039 --> 00:23:56.440 but then it turns and they're still walking so incredible, Or in a crosswalk 298 00:23:56.440 --> 00:24:03.400 where there's just a stop sign, I'm I'm waiting to go, move your 299 00:24:03.640 --> 00:24:07.960 ass now, and they just like they're just strolling along. I'm a Karen 300 00:24:07.960 --> 00:24:15.200 about that. Now. Now, look what if it was me and for 301 00:24:15.240 --> 00:24:19.039 some reason my colostomy bag like got dog, I would run your ass over 302 00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:26.240 bonus points if I squashed the closs me back and I goes splats everywhere like 303 00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:30.319 a couple just holding hands or just kind of flame. You hate love, 304 00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:33.480 That's what this is. You're jealous. No, you know I agree with 305 00:24:33.559 --> 00:24:38.440 you because yesterday there was a guy that was crossing the street with his dog 306 00:24:38.839 --> 00:24:42.079 and he let his dog stop in the middle of the street and take a 307 00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:45.440 ship. Well, I was waiting, and I'm like, come on, 308 00:24:47.559 --> 00:24:51.839 are you kidding me? Move it along. Let him take a ship in 309 00:24:51.839 --> 00:24:53.799 your own house next time. If I ever walking a crosswalk and I see 310 00:24:53.880 --> 00:24:56.519 Eric just like waiting, I'm gonna I'm gonna take a ship in the middle 311 00:24:56.519 --> 00:25:00.400 of Oh my god, and I will climb on your car and take a 312 00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:04.599 ship on the hood, climb Spider Man style totally. I'll just hop up 313 00:25:04.640 --> 00:25:08.400 there, all right, What are you caring about everything. I Oh, 314 00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:15.559 I don't even know where to start. I'm a Charen about did you want 315 00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:18.759 me to say something? I know, I just Laura just saying the bitch 316 00:25:18.759 --> 00:25:22.400 about no, no, no, no, this is a I thought that 317 00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:26.279 I would help and give another one while you were thinking, oh, no, 318 00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:30.599 I already have one furniture. I know. No, I am a 319 00:25:30.680 --> 00:25:34.640 Karen about bad customer service? Yeah? Really really any yeah, any kind 320 00:25:34.640 --> 00:25:41.599 of I just wrote to another company. God. My favorite part is when 321 00:25:41.599 --> 00:25:45.920 he went on Southwest and like another customers that bitched to him, he took 322 00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:51.519 out the company. He's like, well it was the guys, like the 323 00:25:51.559 --> 00:25:52.160 guys like He's like, what are you gonna do? But he's like, 324 00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:56.359 I'm going to write to the company. Yep, I'm going to go and 325 00:25:56.519 --> 00:25:59.720 I got what I asked for And he got it yep for the company that 326 00:25:59.759 --> 00:26:03.720 wasn't at fall okay. And he's also written to Jerome. Oh yes, 327 00:26:03.880 --> 00:26:08.599 and they can finally and they and they gave him the couch and they gave 328 00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:11.880 it to him almost free, worth it in the end, right, worth 329 00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:21.519 it in the end? Now who So Unfortunately it was the Voltaire in Vegas. 330 00:26:21.960 --> 00:26:26.920 When I went to see Christina Aguilera and she canceled her concert. It's 331 00:26:26.720 --> 00:26:32.240 that it's in the Venetian, So the theater in the Venetians. So the 332 00:26:32.279 --> 00:26:37.799 tickets you well, the tickets not We're not so getting the refund. So 333 00:26:38.039 --> 00:26:42.200 they give you. They said, well, if you book the tickets for 334 00:26:42.559 --> 00:26:51.279 once she we reschedule her for her performances, of which there were only ten 335 00:26:51.400 --> 00:26:56.720 or twelve, not only will we give you, will we honor those tickets, 336 00:26:56.720 --> 00:26:59.720 but we will also give you. I think it was like a thousand 337 00:26:59.759 --> 00:27:06.119 dollars credit or something too for the hotel or for meals or whatever. It 338 00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:08.200 was something like that something I don't know if it was exactly a thousand dollars, 339 00:27:08.200 --> 00:27:11.440 but with something like that, well none of the dates worked out for 340 00:27:11.519 --> 00:27:15.559 me, so I'm not going to be able to see her. So it 341 00:27:15.640 --> 00:27:22.920 was like, okay, process the refund crickets. So I emailed and I'm 342 00:27:22.920 --> 00:27:26.240 like, why am I getting the run around? Process the refund? Oh, 343 00:27:26.279 --> 00:27:27.119 you have to go through ticket Master. Through that, I was like, 344 00:27:27.240 --> 00:27:32.359 they weren't bought through ticket Master, they were bought through you. Okay, 345 00:27:32.359 --> 00:27:33.400 this is all the information we need. So I said, stop giving 346 00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:38.720 me the run around. Give me either the number scary, oh yeah, 347 00:27:40.599 --> 00:27:45.559 and I got okay? Was okay? You got the okay? So what 348 00:27:45.640 --> 00:27:48.400 happened? Did you have to be passed off to a manager or anything? 349 00:27:48.759 --> 00:27:52.680 They just told me what they needed. Did they start treating you? Were 350 00:27:52.680 --> 00:27:57.240 they treating you nice? Were they much nicer? Okay? I'm putting money 351 00:27:57.279 --> 00:28:00.480 on the fact that as he gets older, the company needs that he has 352 00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:03.680 beef with will become smaller and smaller, so it'll probably be like a gas 353 00:28:03.759 --> 00:28:08.160 station or he's like, I wrote a letter to Jack in the Box corporate 354 00:28:08.200 --> 00:28:11.920 because their fries were not filled all the way at the top. And I 355 00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:12.799 went into the manager. He said, oh, let me replace that for 356 00:28:12.880 --> 00:28:15.119 you said, and I said, I don't want you to replace him. 357 00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:18.640 I want your corporate number, because I'm gonna call corporate. I'm gonna have 358 00:28:18.680 --> 00:28:22.000 your job. But he is going to be the most persnickety old man over 359 00:28:22.119 --> 00:28:26.240 every little thing. He's gonna write a letter to the City of San Diego 360 00:28:26.240 --> 00:28:29.720 about the curb outside his house, Oh for sure, the paints chipping off, 361 00:28:29.799 --> 00:28:33.119 or something outside my outside my assisted living homes where you and I are 362 00:28:33.160 --> 00:28:37.720 going to be living. Like he's gonna sue home depot because his grass is 363 00:28:37.799 --> 00:28:45.039 dying or something. I'm gonna I'm gonna be emailing the like the customer service 364 00:28:45.079 --> 00:28:48.519 department at our retirement home. Oh, don't mix it up at our retirement 365 00:28:48.039 --> 00:28:52.799 that your peas weren't mashed up enough for you to I will not be giving 366 00:28:52.839 --> 00:28:56.440 you any more my business than homeless. He No, come on, do 367 00:28:56.640 --> 00:29:02.319 not complain at the place we end up. Okay, I might if they 368 00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:07.680 don't treat us right. Let me tell you, Okay, have you thought 369 00:29:07.720 --> 00:29:10.480 are you a caring about anything? I don't think so, what's your What 370 00:29:10.559 --> 00:29:12.720 else are you a caring about? Well? I hate saying this, but 371 00:29:15.079 --> 00:29:26.960 it really freaking bothers me. Those bicycles A bicyclist, okay, skinny bicyclist 372 00:29:27.000 --> 00:29:34.039 in a little bicycle suit, bicycling in the middle of the street because he 373 00:29:34.119 --> 00:29:38.599 thinks he has the right to do that. And your bike is not as 374 00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:44.240 fast as my car, so I can't pass you. I'm not going to 375 00:29:44.519 --> 00:29:49.680 tailgate you. You're being a dick right now. Have you ever seen the 376 00:29:49.720 --> 00:29:56.119 clip of from family Guy talking about bicyclists on the road. Basically it says 377 00:29:56.160 --> 00:30:00.279 that all moms have actually hit and killed a bicyclist and then ran. Every 378 00:30:00.279 --> 00:30:03.240 single mom is guilty of and they just live with the guilt forever. Oh 379 00:30:03.319 --> 00:30:08.519 my god. So the reason, the reason Laura so up says, because 380 00:30:08.559 --> 00:30:15.880 she has killed a bicycle accidentally, but then she ran. There were three 381 00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:18.839 of them, like taking up the whole street the other day, and oh 382 00:30:18.960 --> 00:30:25.160 my god, how many of them lived? None of them, she she, 383 00:30:25.359 --> 00:30:26.359 you know, two of them were dead unimpact. And the third one, 384 00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:30.880 she regretfully and sadly put it. You know, you know another one 385 00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:34.559 that I am a caring about. What when people show up too early or 386 00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:40.079 too late for appointments. That's shocking considering I've yet to see you here every 387 00:30:40.119 --> 00:30:48.599 single time. That's I'm always here before my shift slot. I am here 388 00:30:49.160 --> 00:30:55.079 not after uh seven, No, you never have been lame, has been 389 00:30:55.720 --> 00:30:57.960 here past seven before. Let's list. Let's hear him out. The only 390 00:30:59.039 --> 00:31:03.759 time when I had arhea? Yeah, that was the time. I remember 391 00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:07.200 that. And that's fair because unless you wanted me to have the Hershey squirts 392 00:31:07.279 --> 00:31:11.200 right here on set, then yes, and I think I was like five 393 00:31:11.240 --> 00:31:15.480 minutes late. I also don't like it when people talk on their cell phones 394 00:31:15.519 --> 00:31:18.839 near out their dirty laundry. So that everybody can hear. I love that. 395 00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:22.920 I hate it when people smack their gum when they crack it. Do 396 00:31:22.920 --> 00:31:26.519 you guys chew gum? Ever? No, I do, and I hate 397 00:31:26.519 --> 00:31:30.039 it. I remember the last time I choul gum. I love gumte watching 398 00:31:30.079 --> 00:31:34.400 people eat. I got these new mints and they have caffeine in them. 399 00:31:34.759 --> 00:31:41.319 Oh that's caffeine, but they spell it nicotine on here. I don't know 400 00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:47.640 why I can't get enough of these things. Lord, she pulls out nic 401 00:31:47.640 --> 00:31:52.599 corectum. I'm gonna have mercy. I got them on Amazon. They're called 402 00:31:52.039 --> 00:31:57.359 Victor Energy. It sounds like Biagres extra strength, peppermint flavor, caffeine mints 403 00:31:57.519 --> 00:32:01.920 puce energy and fresh and breath. Here. Eric, take one. Oh, 404 00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:06.160 it's not going to do anything for me. Probably won't give me one 405 00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:07.279 hair throw to me. I'm not going to do a thing for me. 406 00:32:08.799 --> 00:32:15.279 I'll go right home and go to sleep. Are you then they're mints? 407 00:32:15.359 --> 00:32:19.559 Okay, I'll about to start chewing on it. I think it has like 408 00:32:20.920 --> 00:32:23.640 I bought. Oh it has thirty My god, this is absolutely awful. 409 00:32:24.680 --> 00:32:29.400 I was almost snoring. I could tell that was snoring. That was Eric 410 00:32:30.799 --> 00:32:34.000 warning show. Oh my God. These are awful because they've got them. 411 00:32:34.039 --> 00:32:37.000 But they're fine, and they're not that bad bad. It tastes like I'm 412 00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:45.599 eating a cough drop. How many grams or milligrams of caffeine are in a 413 00:32:45.640 --> 00:32:46.799 cup of coffee? Do you know that? By per chance? I think? 414 00:32:49.319 --> 00:32:52.319 Okay? Because these have thirty each? Yeah? Much? And you've 415 00:32:52.359 --> 00:32:54.319 eat and how many sixteen hundred of them? Today? I hate like five? 416 00:32:54.880 --> 00:33:00.039 You drink? You like two? Oh no, what it's how desperate 417 00:33:00.039 --> 00:33:06.559 are the longer? It's awful. Also got on Amazon. It's called I 418 00:33:06.720 --> 00:33:12.519 can Boost and it's a caffeine spray that you put it under your tongue. 419 00:33:12.599 --> 00:33:15.240 Oh my god, you got like nar cannon there now, Oh my god. 420 00:33:15.480 --> 00:33:20.599 To focus on energy. They need to focus. I know. They're 421 00:33:21.440 --> 00:33:24.839 they're very, very tastes like cocka doo doo in there. You're supposed to 422 00:33:24.880 --> 00:33:32.920 pray it eight times. I hold it for seconds. I swear to God 423 00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:37.640 Kane. If you I'm not if you call, if you call me or 424 00:33:37.720 --> 00:33:43.000 email me at four o'clock in the morning. Those are terrible, I know. 425 00:33:43.519 --> 00:33:45.720 But they do the trick. They do the trick. They do the 426 00:33:45.720 --> 00:33:53.319 trick. They do the trick. Okay, So this portion of the of 427 00:33:53.400 --> 00:33:58.400 the podcast was going to be taken up by my outfit of the month, 428 00:33:58.400 --> 00:34:00.000 which I'm going to try to do. But I've just I don't like what 429 00:34:00.160 --> 00:34:05.279 I'm wearing and I don't want to do it. We're going to play, 430 00:34:06.799 --> 00:34:09.760 but it's no, it's not I have received and I'm not kidding. I'm 431 00:34:09.760 --> 00:34:13.960 not just saying this because I'm sorry. I can't payttention. That mint was 432 00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:22.639 so bad? Isn't it tastes like dirty ass? Yeah, it's like do 433 00:34:22.639 --> 00:34:24.440 you want some caffeine spray to get it out of your mouth? No? 434 00:34:24.719 --> 00:34:30.880 No, don't do it. But oh no, why it's probably reasonable time 435 00:34:31.039 --> 00:34:37.039 I do. I just mean, I just need help focusing. Oh is 436 00:34:37.079 --> 00:34:42.679 that is that smoking? Cigarettes? Already? Did? That? Is smoking? 437 00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:47.719 You are not smoking? Of course? Not? Cigarettes look cool though, 438 00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:52.880 No they don't. The best the best movie characters are always smokers. 439 00:34:52.920 --> 00:34:55.880 No, they're not dark and tortured ones. Hell. Yeah, anyways, 440 00:34:58.039 --> 00:35:01.639 so I will do I will stand up and show you what I was going 441 00:35:01.719 --> 00:35:06.440 to. I might as well, because now you're going to wonder, why 442 00:35:07.079 --> 00:35:12.239 does she not like her outfit? You look like you're on your way to 443 00:35:12.320 --> 00:35:17.239 the eleventh grade. To the eleventh grade. Oh yeah, I have a 444 00:35:17.280 --> 00:35:21.639 backpack for you somewhere. You look like you're trying to recapture your youth. 445 00:35:22.199 --> 00:35:27.519 It's long gone there when I I know, when I was putting this together, 446 00:35:27.760 --> 00:35:30.920 like on the floor, it looked really cute because I just got this. 447 00:35:30.920 --> 00:35:34.239 This this is a body suit, this red thing from Amazon. Probably 448 00:35:34.280 --> 00:35:37.920 be nicer on your daughter, which more like this. This isn't I don't 449 00:35:37.960 --> 00:35:43.400 think this is what I'm wearing on the bottom and the bottom is maybe age 450 00:35:43.400 --> 00:35:47.880 inappropriate. I don't think this is age inappropriate. I'm eric no, no, 451 00:35:49.400 --> 00:35:52.840 but these are no. The jeans I think are fine. These are 452 00:35:52.320 --> 00:35:54.960 those are cute. Okay, so I'm going to stand up. I'm going 453 00:35:55.039 --> 00:35:59.519 to show you altogether. It's just okay, tell me if you can get 454 00:36:00.079 --> 00:36:06.239 Yeah, you're fine. Okay, So here we go. Okay, can 455 00:36:06.280 --> 00:36:08.239 you see me? Okay, there we go. All right. So these 456 00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:15.719 jeans I got from a place called Sarah's in La Mesa, and they were 457 00:36:15.880 --> 00:36:22.119 on the half off rack and I think they were twenty bucks. This little 458 00:36:22.519 --> 00:36:27.639 uh what do you call it a body suit? I got it from Amazon 459 00:36:27.920 --> 00:36:34.239 and it was I think twelve ninety nine. Okay, this fake Valentino belt 460 00:36:34.519 --> 00:36:37.760 I got from a place in Obi called the Closet and it was nine ninety 461 00:36:37.880 --> 00:36:45.679 nine. Okay, and these shoes which match my red body suit. Look, 462 00:36:45.880 --> 00:36:47.079 look I'm doing a yoga pose. I was gonna say, oh my 463 00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:52.000 god, I'm doing a yoga pose. Oh wow, look I'm you are 464 00:36:52.079 --> 00:36:54.960 flexible. Look at this. This is pretty awesome. So you don't wanna 465 00:36:55.320 --> 00:36:59.840 you don't wanna read it's the show stopping though, No, no, it's 466 00:36:59.880 --> 00:37:05.760 not. Anyway. These shoes I got on buy nothing. They were free 467 00:37:06.360 --> 00:37:08.039 someone jew's shoes. She's gonna say that, she's like, these were faked. 468 00:37:08.119 --> 00:37:13.599 I gos where someone walking, someone's feet had been in there. Yep, 469 00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:15.599 yuck, yep, yep r. There are some things that's not worth 470 00:37:15.719 --> 00:37:20.639 that is zill That outfit will still cost you what sixty nine bucks? And 471 00:37:20.679 --> 00:37:23.119 then if you want to add a little jacket. This jacket's pretty cute. 472 00:37:23.119 --> 00:37:28.519 I got this from Sheen, which you're probably saying wrong because we were saying 473 00:37:28.519 --> 00:37:30.679 TMU wrung the whole time. It's probably Shine. I think it's actually she 474 00:37:30.840 --> 00:37:34.639 In, but that's the way I used to put it. I think she 475 00:37:34.920 --> 00:37:37.679 is better anyway. So you just this little Jackie on and now now I 476 00:37:37.760 --> 00:37:42.199 kind of look age appropriate. Yeah, yeah, the cardigan's definitely Okay, 477 00:37:42.239 --> 00:37:45.559 that adds to it. It makes you look older, yeah, which in 478 00:37:45.559 --> 00:37:49.519 this case is a good thing. Yeah. I think it's fine. I 479 00:37:49.559 --> 00:37:52.119 think I'm gonna do this the rest of the show like this. Okay, 480 00:37:52.880 --> 00:37:55.480 is it time to look like you moonlight as a stripper and you daylight as 481 00:37:55.559 --> 00:38:00.079 that whatever that is. I know, I'm not quite sure what this is, 482 00:38:00.760 --> 00:38:05.679 but I'll do a proper one coming up. It's it's it's there's a 483 00:38:05.760 --> 00:38:08.440 lot. Look you look like someone who's never too far away from taking their 484 00:38:08.440 --> 00:38:15.519 clothes off. Yeah, and that's so not me. Oh my god. 485 00:38:17.519 --> 00:38:21.880 Okay, I'll sit back down, am I? Now I have my jacket? 486 00:38:21.760 --> 00:38:24.400 Oh I forgot to mention this. This came from San Diego Crystals and 487 00:38:24.480 --> 00:38:28.719 Jewelry. Got to have a bit one big medallion piece, you know, 488 00:38:29.000 --> 00:38:34.559 and this was twenty dollars m pirate treasure. Okay, is it time to 489 00:38:35.159 --> 00:38:37.639 end? Or can we do one more thing? Let's do a game. 490 00:38:38.239 --> 00:38:43.480 Let's do that game, right, Okay, we've played it before. What's 491 00:38:43.480 --> 00:38:46.519 your price? Oh okay, well just like blurred it out. We won't 492 00:38:46.519 --> 00:38:50.719 have to write it down unless you want to write it down. Okay, 493 00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:54.960 I was pointless. It was pretty funny, though I know we did, 494 00:38:55.039 --> 00:39:00.840 we did, we did, Okay, I haven't gone through these. I 495 00:39:00.880 --> 00:39:06.280 have like a huge list of them. What's your price? Five bucks? 496 00:39:06.480 --> 00:39:12.119 Refer to yourself in the third person for a full year? Oh, five 497 00:39:12.159 --> 00:39:16.440 grande? Maybe ten? Let me, Let's try it. Let's try it. 498 00:39:16.480 --> 00:39:23.480 Let's try it. Laura thinks that, but I mean, no, 499 00:39:23.239 --> 00:39:28.719 it's Laura doesn't like that. Eric doesn't like it either. But it could 500 00:39:28.760 --> 00:39:31.440 be. It could be funny, though Laura doesn't think that it would last 501 00:39:31.639 --> 00:39:35.679 that long. But I think Eric thinks that you should shut the fun out. 502 00:39:37.639 --> 00:39:42.320 The hardest part is it's a year, a year for Oh god, 503 00:39:42.360 --> 00:39:46.400 that would be the most I could do that. I think I would maybe 504 00:39:46.400 --> 00:39:51.119 even go probably have to go fifty. Yeah, oh god, if I 505 00:39:51.159 --> 00:39:53.119 offered you fifteen grand you do it. Let's be real, I wouldn't. 506 00:39:53.239 --> 00:39:58.119 Let's pretend we are all football players, okay, just for a second, 507 00:39:58.280 --> 00:40:00.920 okay, in my abusive Travis else or am I like cool? Travis? 508 00:40:01.039 --> 00:40:07.199 You're not You're not even You're just you're a generic football player. Travis Kelsey 509 00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:10.320 is the most generic football player. What would it take? What's your price 510 00:40:10.840 --> 00:40:19.280 to drink a cup of another player's sweat? Full cup? Millions? You 511 00:40:19.320 --> 00:40:22.239 know I wouldn't do it because I'm rich, I'm an NFL player. I 512 00:40:22.239 --> 00:40:23.760 wouldn't get it. No, you're not. I didn't say you were an 513 00:40:23.880 --> 00:40:28.519 NFL player, didn't. I just said you were a generic football player. 514 00:40:28.559 --> 00:40:32.320 That could mean anything. You play in a league, like an adult league. 515 00:40:32.920 --> 00:40:37.840 One hundred million. Oh, come on, Eric, I would never 516 00:40:37.000 --> 00:40:42.639 fifty k. I probably, oh god, for fifty k. Fifty k 517 00:40:42.719 --> 00:40:45.719 is a lot of money. No, if it was like that much, 518 00:40:45.800 --> 00:40:50.719 that's like a glass of those disposed would actually get picture. I would vomit 519 00:40:50.800 --> 00:40:55.199 the case a lot of money. I'm doing ten You do tight? You 520 00:40:55.320 --> 00:40:59.000 want it? You throw up, You're done with it? Boom, ten 521 00:40:59.039 --> 00:41:01.480 grand. You are crazy. There go, all my credits done. It's 522 00:41:01.519 --> 00:41:09.840 just salty water. Come on, okay, what's your price? Eat one 523 00:41:09.880 --> 00:41:15.119 small bar of hotel soap? Oh? Oh, the whole thing, the 524 00:41:15.199 --> 00:41:21.000 whole entire thing. Well, if it was a really good brand like Lasstin, 525 00:41:21.719 --> 00:41:24.440 can put something on it like whip cream. Nope, it's that waxy 526 00:41:24.719 --> 00:41:28.800 kind of you got to take off the paper that's hard to take off, 527 00:41:29.480 --> 00:41:31.599 and then you got to put it in the five grand. I for five 528 00:41:31.599 --> 00:41:36.960 grand, I do it for fifteen Grandah, yeah, I do it for 529 00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:42.400 five grand. I do it for I would do it for like five hundred. 530 00:41:42.960 --> 00:41:46.559 Soap tastes so bad? Is there a time limit? Can I like? 531 00:41:46.920 --> 00:41:50.480 Yeah? Is it like you take two bites of it and like you 532 00:41:50.559 --> 00:41:53.079 have to eat a full bar? That's all it's said. I don't know, 533 00:41:53.159 --> 00:41:59.480 maybe two grand it's gonna be at least now I do fifteen. Okay, 534 00:41:59.760 --> 00:42:04.840 this is interesting because this is actually a TV show. What is your 535 00:42:04.920 --> 00:42:10.760 price? Legally marry a stranger? There's a whole show about that. Yeah, 536 00:42:13.079 --> 00:42:17.199 well that's not it's love at first love is no love at first sight. 537 00:42:17.320 --> 00:42:21.000 How long do you have to stay married for? It? Doesn't know? 538 00:42:21.400 --> 00:42:24.039 Just would you just like forever? I don't know. There's no legally 539 00:42:24.079 --> 00:42:30.360 marry a stranger that's important. At least a year? Oh god, I 540 00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:34.079 say that undred one hundred thousand. Are they can take all my money in 541 00:42:34.119 --> 00:42:37.039 the divorce? Uh no, we're not. You're not going to have the 542 00:42:37.119 --> 00:42:40.639 nitty gritty like one hundred thousand. You just have to live with that person 543 00:42:40.800 --> 00:42:45.159 and be married to that person and have to take that person to live with 544 00:42:45.199 --> 00:42:47.039 them one hundred and fifty thousand? Do we have to I have to take 545 00:42:47.039 --> 00:42:51.159 their life? Well, they have to take yours. You have to consummate 546 00:42:51.159 --> 00:42:57.800 it. It does I don't well, I don't know. There's no details, 547 00:42:57.840 --> 00:43:00.960 but this is important. I don't know. I'll just say one hundred 548 00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:06.320 and fifty k. Yeah, okay, for like a year. I do 549 00:43:06.400 --> 00:43:08.480 it for five years. Yeah, but we're not consummating it so I can 550 00:43:08.480 --> 00:43:13.000 get an annulment and they have less chance to take the Yeah, I'm going 551 00:43:13.239 --> 00:43:15.159 higher. Actually, no, you do it for less. We talk about 552 00:43:15.679 --> 00:43:24.159 a cured your loneliness and money? Oh gosh, what's your price? Give 553 00:43:24.239 --> 00:43:30.280 up sugar and sweets for one full year? One hundred k? Yeah, 554 00:43:30.519 --> 00:43:34.559 I'm gonna be honest, Like, that's hard. That's hard. That's like 555 00:43:34.599 --> 00:43:36.960 a daily thing for a year. Like, I mean, I know, 556 00:43:37.000 --> 00:43:38.320 fifty k's a lot of money, but like I would crack. I probably 557 00:43:38.320 --> 00:43:40.239 would. Yeah, one hundred K. I could do it. I bet 558 00:43:40.280 --> 00:43:46.800 a hundred k. You'd be like a million. There's there isn't. The 559 00:43:46.840 --> 00:43:50.719 amount of money that she would need has not been invented yet. Oh probably 560 00:43:51.239 --> 00:43:57.360 it hasn't been printed yet, A gillion, a million or whatever, a 561 00:43:57.400 --> 00:44:00.440 billion plex amounts of money. Yeah, I couldn't do it. I wouldn't 562 00:44:00.440 --> 00:44:04.360 be able to do it. I don't think you would. I just you're 563 00:44:04.360 --> 00:44:07.920 addicted to sugar. I appreciate this self reflection there, though. I'm honest, 564 00:44:07.159 --> 00:44:14.559 I really truly. What's your price to wear tap shoes everywhere you go? 565 00:44:15.360 --> 00:44:22.360 Oh my god, Oh my god, fifty dollars. Oh you don't 566 00:44:22.480 --> 00:44:27.360 have to walk and give tours? Oh, I would totally be honest. 567 00:44:27.480 --> 00:44:30.079 Tap shoes kind of have a nice sound to him, though, Oh my 568 00:44:30.239 --> 00:44:34.159 god, everywhere you go, every market? Do you know how? Do 569 00:44:34.199 --> 00:44:37.519 you know? How unbelievably? And I make sure that I went everywhere where 570 00:44:37.519 --> 00:44:42.840 they were like travertine floors. I'd be like, oh, he's just tapping 571 00:44:42.960 --> 00:44:46.480 us whenever you can. Oh yeah, oh my god, ten grand It 572 00:44:46.519 --> 00:44:52.639 would be the most oh my god grands. I wouldn't even mind if someone 573 00:44:52.639 --> 00:45:00.440 near me was always they sound nice. Okay, this one is really man, 574 00:45:00.880 --> 00:45:08.320 Oh god, because I'm thinking about my daughter and I what's your price? 575 00:45:09.079 --> 00:45:16.840 Loudly boo a family member doing a theatrical perform Oh, a family member, 576 00:45:17.320 --> 00:45:22.280 Oh I would totally do it for two grands. Noah, no, 577 00:45:22.280 --> 00:45:29.159 no, because I'm thinking packed theater, serious scene, and then they're pissed, 578 00:45:29.199 --> 00:45:30.719 they cry, and then when they get off stage, you slip them 579 00:45:30.719 --> 00:45:34.880 half the money. Laura, Okay, here's what we're going to do this. 580 00:45:35.360 --> 00:45:39.760 Ready, I want you to do your dramatic reading as the mom okay, 581 00:45:39.960 --> 00:45:47.280 okay, and pretend you're on stage in New York Broadway debut, celebrities 582 00:45:47.360 --> 00:45:54.920 in the audience and me packed house, standing room only. So where'd you 583 00:45:54.960 --> 00:46:04.559 go last night? Boo? You suck? That was Eric, He's my 584 00:46:04.800 --> 00:46:09.639 family bitch. And then I'd be like, where's my fifty dollars? You'd 585 00:46:09.639 --> 00:46:12.719 do it for free? He's like, he's like, so who do I 586 00:46:12.719 --> 00:46:21.679 pay? Oh god, this one is bad. What's your price? As 587 00:46:21.719 --> 00:46:25.440 we have? Because there's an animal right here. He's a dog. French 588 00:46:25.519 --> 00:46:30.119 kiss you're dog? Ooh? Oh my god. I do that with Elvis 589 00:46:30.119 --> 00:46:34.079 for free. I was three minutes. Oh people do that? Wait? 590 00:46:34.119 --> 00:46:38.199 Do I have French yah? Use my tongue? Absolutely? Oh? Twenty 591 00:46:38.239 --> 00:46:44.400 five grand? Oh that just seems so all kinds of wrong. Twenty five 592 00:46:44.440 --> 00:46:49.400 grand this is untaxed money, right, yes? Okay, good I'm going 593 00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:52.280 higher than that. I think I could do it for twenty five you're realistically 594 00:46:52.280 --> 00:46:54.920 the lowest. If I offered you twenty five grand to french your dog with 595 00:46:54.920 --> 00:46:58.400 three minutes and now I think you do it, you know what, I'd 596 00:46:58.400 --> 00:47:01.519 pick him up right now and do it. Ya. You don't do it 597 00:47:01.519 --> 00:47:07.039 for one cent, not one cent for free? Maybe a hundred bucks probably 598 00:47:07.039 --> 00:47:12.440 what she does when we're not around. Okay, we'll do one more. 599 00:47:14.920 --> 00:47:23.360 Oh watch your price. Sleep in a bed infested with bed bugs for one 600 00:47:23.440 --> 00:47:28.239 night? Oh? Hell, no, only one night? One night it's 601 00:47:28.280 --> 00:47:30.639 infested, though? Can I guarantee the bed bugs aren't coming home with me? 602 00:47:31.679 --> 00:47:35.920 No guarantees, no guarantees, no amount of money that would be. 603 00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:39.239 That's just the lifetime of pain I want. You can get rid of those, 604 00:47:39.280 --> 00:47:42.840 though, can't you. Yeah? About what have you ever seen what 605 00:47:42.960 --> 00:47:45.679 somebody looks like that's been bitten by bed bugs? Yeah? I think I 606 00:47:45.679 --> 00:47:49.760 I think I know. I can't look at those because that's the tight pattern 607 00:47:49.800 --> 00:47:52.320 thing. Yeah, what I would do is, I would doubt I would 608 00:47:52.320 --> 00:47:57.000 take a bleach bath, like immediately after before I went home or something. 609 00:47:57.599 --> 00:48:02.800 No, but you're they you look like you have the chicken pox on like 610 00:48:02.960 --> 00:48:08.199 I know, but okay, well, what's your price then a billion dollars? 611 00:48:09.159 --> 00:48:14.760 Be realistic. I am being realistic. Oh, because here's no way. 612 00:48:14.800 --> 00:48:15.920 Here's the thing. You get into a bed with bed bugs. You 613 00:48:15.920 --> 00:48:20.559 can't tell you can't. It's not you can see them, yes you can, 614 00:48:20.920 --> 00:48:24.719 you can't. It's the sheets are literally brown. I've seen what a 615 00:48:24.840 --> 00:48:30.480 house that's like like in real life. You have, yes, I have 616 00:48:30.559 --> 00:48:34.599 a right it is. I'll tell you after it's disgusting before I before I 617 00:48:34.639 --> 00:48:37.159 give you a price, I would need to see the bad I guess it 618 00:48:37.239 --> 00:48:42.039 is absolutely disgusting, Brian. And then when they bite you, the sheets 619 00:48:42.039 --> 00:48:46.039 are covered in blood. It's disgusting. Yep, that sounds pretty intense. 620 00:48:46.039 --> 00:48:59.480 No, it's disgusting. Okay, okay, okay, okay, this is 621 00:48:59.559 --> 00:49:01.559 easy, and I know it's not going to be a lot of money. 622 00:49:02.280 --> 00:49:08.639 But let's see who goes the highest step in dog poop barefoot? Oh? 623 00:49:08.800 --> 00:49:15.800 Oh a thousand dollars, yeah, a thousand. Here's the thing. I 624 00:49:15.840 --> 00:49:22.239 want more though, like step and it goes through through the toes. Gross, 625 00:49:22.360 --> 00:49:24.639 that's a lot of what that's like horseship that's like a big no, 626 00:49:24.840 --> 00:49:29.000 big dog A hundred one thousand bucks. I go wash off my foot, 627 00:49:29.000 --> 00:49:34.559 I take a shower, exactly. Problem solved. Yeah, fifty bucks. 628 00:49:34.719 --> 00:49:37.119 Yeah, she's like, I do this on a daily basis. Yeah. 629 00:49:37.440 --> 00:49:40.679 At My favorite part is she's she gives it. She like sets up where 630 00:49:40.719 --> 00:49:45.360 she's like, this is like the worst thing ever. She's like a thousand, 631 00:49:45.960 --> 00:49:47.760 She's like, oh god, just a good thing. Fifty I do 632 00:49:47.840 --> 00:49:52.480 it for five. I love fifty dollars. You know what. I would 633 00:49:52.679 --> 00:49:57.079 literally pay you fifty dollars and have Elvis take a big dump and then you 634 00:49:57.199 --> 00:49:59.000 just step in it. No, no, we're talking big poos. We're 635 00:49:59.039 --> 00:50:02.280 talking about German ship bird ships. No, I'm oh yeah, not else. 636 00:50:02.400 --> 00:50:07.079 I have my hand out. That's literally like stepping on a nomen. 637 00:50:07.159 --> 00:50:10.760 Oh yeah, let's get somebody with like a mas stiff, steam steaming, 638 00:50:10.880 --> 00:50:16.199 big dog, big steaming wet pile a dog crap. It's gotta be it's 639 00:50:16.199 --> 00:50:20.599 gotta be like plain. I'm like, Cane, here's your fifty dollars. 640 00:50:21.800 --> 00:50:28.320 That's gotta run through your toes. He's also got a tape worm. There's 641 00:50:28.360 --> 00:50:31.079 gotta be a there's gonna be a footprint in after. Yeah. Yeah, 642 00:50:31.880 --> 00:50:36.400 and I have to like run to find a hose, like that's not really 643 00:50:36.480 --> 00:50:38.039 close by you. No, you just scrape your feet on the grass and 644 00:50:39.719 --> 00:50:44.840 toes. Do not ask me to clean it with a wet wipe. I 645 00:50:44.880 --> 00:50:50.000 will not doe hundred dollars. Then I'm still going with a gram because I'm 646 00:50:50.039 --> 00:50:52.199 doing ad because it's like, like a hundred bucks isn't that much mony. 647 00:50:52.199 --> 00:50:55.440 I wouldn't do hardly anything for a hundred bucks, you know, Laura, 648 00:50:55.480 --> 00:51:00.639 would I would? I want not like, but like, I wouldn't do 649 00:51:00.639 --> 00:51:07.199 anything serious. I didn't live, I do have. When I was house 650 00:51:07.239 --> 00:51:12.679 sitting for a friend of mine and her husband there, it was pouring, 651 00:51:12.840 --> 00:51:15.920 pouring rain, and this is when I lived downtown. We were out, 652 00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:19.800 I had the umbrella, and he wouldn't just poop anywhere. He liked his 653 00:51:19.880 --> 00:51:24.000 privacy. So we went over to this like lawn area across the street and 654 00:51:24.079 --> 00:51:28.559 he was pooping. It was pouring rain. It was pitch dark out because 655 00:51:28.559 --> 00:51:32.119 there was no lights there, and I had the poop bag and I reached 656 00:51:32.199 --> 00:51:37.639 down and grabbed the wet, steaming pile of He was a medium sized dog. 657 00:51:37.639 --> 00:51:45.840 I didn't realize that in the no that there was holes on both and 658 00:51:45.079 --> 00:51:50.480 the bag just was defective and I reached through and grabbed it with my bare 659 00:51:50.559 --> 00:51:58.719 hands. And that was for free wow to watch the Okay, can we 660 00:51:58.800 --> 00:52:02.800 end the show show? So we'll be back on Monday with another live show 661 00:52:02.880 --> 00:52:07.880 on Instagram and YouTube and then, of course are normal two episodes a week. 662 00:52:07.000 --> 00:52:09.599 We love you guys for listening and watching. Thank you so much, 663 00:52:10.559 --> 00:52:15.519 and love your podcast. Love your podcast. I love you, my sweet 664 00:52:15.599 --> 00:52:17.199 babies. Bye you guys, Thank you