Can you believe they got engaged and didn't tell me I'm snow man, ma'am,
ma'am. I'm not alive, ma'am. I said, do you want
Pinto or black? Sorry? Nope, Beats. There's a lot of stuff
on TV, all of it. It's good tracks, a lot of its
bad TV. Burr. I don't know how to cold man. No,
my gosh, is it cold in here? It's time for you know?
This is I don't know how to do this because it's such a hybrid of
another Blood Deck podcast but TV. It's Winterhouse flooded with sea rats. I'm
Dylan saddled up next to one Patrick Kicky. Great to be here, Burr.
It's so cold and I am so cold and so happy to be here
talking to you about the new seat of winter House. What a nightmare,
Frankenstein monster we have before us m. I agree with you, Dylan.
The fuck are these people? There's a person named Casey from Nothing Well,
Dylan, that's actually how this show used to operate is we'd have a known
cast member, you know, of course, drive up to the winter House
or the suber House or whatever with someone in their car that we need to
get to know really fast because they're going to be joining us whatever season,
right, And why why do we need to get Why are you really asking
me to get to know the girl who owns the flower shop? Now,
she turned out to be pretty cool, but I'm kind of useless for television.
But anyways, we're going into the past. We got PSA's to take
care of. We're excited. The rating system is going to be snowballs.
I love it, Okay, if I may take the honest Okay, So
I don't know where you're hearing this because it's in two feeds, so don't
get confused by that. We did that intentionally. It's on the Eno below
Deck podcast feed. It's on the Bad TV podcast feed because generally we would
cover Winterhouse or Summerhouse on Bad TV, but since, as Dylan pointed out,
it has so many goddamn sea rats on it, we have to consider
it a blowdeck property as well. So that just to clear up any confusion
on that, we're going to have a really good time. And for any
new listeners on the Belowdeck feed that have never watched Summerhouse or Winterhouse, you
don't need to know any of the history. None of that matters now.
I'll just point it out. The beloved show Signfold Seinfeld was known as the
show about nothing, but I disagree with that because it was about four people
with mental disorders that found things that annoy them, and America kind of connected
with them. Siginfold was Jerry's brief stint on celebrity poker, right right right.
The point I was making, though, Dylan, is that Winterhouse is
actually a show about nothing, so you can just join it, join along
for the ride. It's about people living with each other for two weeks in
a winter house and having sex with one. That's it. Yeah, that
is all of it. Oh well, don't forget the games. Oh right,
games, they'll be doing that. And this season everybody put up the
number of people they fucked. Yeah, and we'll guess if there are gonna
be a lot of games, they'll be three at least three games at night,
the same game of uh never have I ever? Themed dinners costume party?
Right right, right tonight, we're gonna be Roman legionnaires. What's that?
I don't know, says Corey? Oh was it? Should we start
getting into our our snowballs? Patreon dot com. I want to hear this
ad free Patreon dot com. If you want to hear another podcast show,
it's the show Me and Pat Gavin Goo. If we're gonna have Papie Dog
Girl on Oh My Gosh bearing the lead. Big announcement, Papie Dog Girl,
My sister, Ruby Wrenn will'll be joining us for this entire season of
Winter House. She will be missing tonight's episode because she is sick. We
went pretty hard in New York, we went pretty hard in Virginia. So
Ruby Ruby's diet is absolutely disgusting. I mean she eats like a fucking raccoon.
I mean she had like five biscuits in one day. I think she
I mean she's rail thin. I don't know how she does it, but
between the gun shooting and the Boloney sandwiches and the biscuits, she it just
hit her a little bit hard, you know. So she's missing out on
this episode, but she will be with us the entire season. She'll be
joining us on Patreon to break down more New York stuff. We saw Hannah
Berner's boyfriend of the comedy seller that we have to break down that set.
That'll be on another podcast shout that'll be a Patreon dot conversation of the podcast
network. So great stuff, iTunes, rating reviews, YouTube's all that stuff,
Instagram, whatever, fuck it, do it, hit it? Okay,
here's my snow. Let me first start off by casting, because we
have quite a hodgepodge of Bravo talent, and I use that word talent loosely.
We have the usual suspects. We have Kyle Corey, Amanda and of
course Schwartz from vander Pump. And then we have multiple sea rats from the
Below Deck world. We have Katie Flood a Chief stew, Malia A Boston
from both from med I believe. We have Alex from this past season of
was that sailing yes now? Or was it down and it was sailing?
Okay? Then we have Riley Gerber baby friend of the show. And of
course we're going to randomly run into Captain Sandy at a ski resort. And
if you're hearing this, it's just that my mic arm just fell off the
table. So should I just should I just hold it like this? I'll
tell you what. Why don't we take one break in mult Let's take all
right, We're gonna be right back after this message from Pachanga Casino Resort discover
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And then we got We're Back. Can you believe the tables that they
have at that resort, I mean kinds of blackjack we didn't even know existed,
so many side bets, it's amazing. All right. So then we
got Jordan from Mar's Martha's Vineyard. I didn't watch that, and also Brian
from Family Karma. Haven't caught that yet, but they both seem like really
fun shows. I'm sure they're gonna get greenlit for season two or wilds have
cast members come on from those seasons. I think Family Karma has been going
for a while now, and Summerhouse Martha's Vineyards seems like a far better show.
I'm almost I'm sad that we didn't cover it and very happy that we
didn't at the same time, you know, because us two honkys have no
right just recapping a bunch of black people and a notoriously you know, you
know, African American opulence kind of power node. We got no business talking
about it. The only thing we'll do is say something unbelievably racist, because
that's in our hearts, you know what I mean. So anyway, yeah,
oh so I thoroughly enjoyed this episode, Dylan. You know, I
had such a great time watching a show about nothing for some reason. It's
just a good time. So I'm going to give it a hundred snowballs.
Great start, great start. Patrick, I'm going to give this show considerably
less snowballs because it was uncomfortable viewing experience for me a little bit. Because
one, there's this known known to quote Donald Rumsfeldt, you know, there's
this no known where these people are all going to try to fuck each other.
Right, So, like culture, these conversations about like, hey,
so what do you do? Oh? I work in crypto? Is what
if that isn't an indication that you should not be buying light coins or whatever
the fuck it is. I don't know what is. But anyways, seeing
these men be as as horrible as they are at flirting with women, it
made my skin crawl. The riz on this show is absolutely through the floor.
How you and I have better game than these career singles is astonishing to
me. And I know, listen, we've been out of the game for
a long time, what decade plus, But I know for a fact that
you and I would do a better job trying to have sex with these women
than some of the men on this show, because the thing that you need
to do when you're trying to court a woman is make them not want to
throw up night one, which is what a lot of these people do.
But the big issue that I have with this show, and it's a double
edged short because it's what makes the show good, is that many of these
people are absolute fucking idiots. Cory lelith is the most picturesque peace stream I've
ever seen in my life. It's lit up by some fucking candlelight. That's
Kyle. That's Kyle, who says send it and stoke. Vibes are high
and look at this piss and it's like, listen, I love you know,
juvenile ship, but when you your entire ethos, your entire spirit is
that I don't know, it's just it gets I'm talking for way. It
is worth pointing out that Kyle, when he filmed that scene was it's a
young forty one. That's what I'm saying. It's kind of it. It
shows me a Twilight Zone kind of future that I'm very afraid of. Not
that I would ever be that, but I just hope that we're better off.
Anyways, Snowballs, did it take thirty five minutes? No? Not
Jon, Thanks being support. I want to say this just to answer your
question. Wrap it up. Like so, we'll get into the episode,
and I don't think we've seen this many outbreaks of the ick as we get
on this episode, there was a record number of cases of ick. These
losers that hit on girls with zero game. The problem is is you and
I weren't blessed with being tense, and there are a couple good lookers here.
They never had develop things like communication skills. Yeah, but I think
when you're trying to court a woman of any substance at all, you have
to have that. It's arguably more important. But I will say this,
it will come back to bite some of these bastards later on in life when
they lose their hair and they're a little flubby and they're just walking up to
a bar, and when they used to just open their mouth talk to a
girl and she goes you know, yeah, I'll go home with you and
hook up. That doesn't work any No, it's a diminishing, diminishing asset,
whatever it's called. So we get into the episode and one of the
first things, hold on, Dylan, you can't you guys start the show
with Friday, March tenth, two thirty eight pm. By the way,
we will have no less than three chirons that show us that we're still in
the same day. I'm so ashamed of myself, quite frankly, that I
forgot about the importance of the chirons on this show. Summer and Winter House
franchise has a very bizarre thing to this day. I cannot explain why they
do it. I think they did it as a goof and then they left
it in and then they're just like, well, I guess we're stuck with
this. I want to I want to see if if we could talk to
a producer, and I would hope because this would be the funniest outcome where
they're like, we need to paint a picture, an accurate picture of the
narrative of the show, and you'd be like, well, are you do
you have a mental disorder? Now, Dylan, I don't know if you
remember this, but I track these days and times, and last season of
Summerhouse, someone wasn't keeping their eye on the ball and they screwed up days
and old Patty got it pointed out, I hope someone lost their job for
that, said, someone's on Ketemy and so class. We begin the show
with the biggest idiot of them all, who is Mulletman. He says,
this is a classic social experiment. Forces combine boom, and that's that is
a verbatim quote classic social experiment when our forces combined boom. Now can we
discuss this quote unquote social experiment? So we start the episode with multiple groups
of participants in the social experiment. Driving to the winter House, Danielle I
found out, much to my dismay, had made the cut to Winterhouse.
She used to be one of my favorites. I just cannot stand her anymore.
Well, Dylan, you know what drove me ns is the episode starts
out and I think she was still telling anybody who would listened that she couldn't
believe Lindsay and Carl didn't tell her about their engagement. They stopped on the
way up. She was talking to a snowman off the side of the road.
She still yeah, yeah, and what even crazier The snowman came to
life and was like, I have not been dedicating enough time to my family.
That was a movie, yeah, written by the great jass Asario great.
So Steamboat Springs is where the show will be taking place. Much like
any Woody Allen movie. It'll be a character in itself. Winter is officially
here. In March, Malia and Katie ride together. They're swooning over the
hot outdoorsy men that they're going to meet, and we've seen this show before.
They may be in a different place, but with budgetary constraints and all,
they usually go to towns where the men are more lone drunks, sometimes
with not both eyes, than a bunch of hot outdoorsy singles who are filming
TikTok content like splitting logs and stuff like that's not what's gonna happen. Well,
the guy at the liquor store, he engages, he was on DMT,
like, what are we talking about? Was this that wonderful liquor store
where one of the matriarchs of the establishment walked over to tell it. I
believe it was Malia and Katie flood that it's a three to one ratio of
men to women in this little town. I get ahead of myself. But
it's Danielle and her friend Casey, who's not attached to any show, and
they're buying sixty Michelomultrius. But anyways, oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah,
before we get ahead of ourselves. So yeah, Kyle and Corey they
call Malia and Katie. I guess they're old friends, right, yea.
If I'm a betting man, I think we got a pretty good shot.
Corey will be spitting in one of their moms. Oh yeah, one hundred.
Casey and Danielle are coming up. And when Kyle and Corey call Malia
and Katie, Kyle says to the girls that he told Cory that they are
down to send it. I mean, I'm gonna kill myself. What this
person has been on this planet walking around drunk on piss, sparklings whatever for
over four decades. He has a mullet and he's telling two women that he
told a friend that they're down to send it. What is going on?
Well, yeah, I was gonna say. The fun really begins when Corey
and Kyle arrive at that winter house. Yeah, beautiful mansion. Looks like
where Beso stays for those weekends where him and some of his buddies, you
know, hunt human beings for fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, real
good. Oh nice shot. I think he missed her vitals. Finish her
off, you owe it to her? Yeah, Well, Corey and I
and that's it, he says. That's why I wanted to put it on
kind of like a you know, there's those things you can put guns on
that kind of steady the aim. And Warren Buffett has no business free wheeling
a fucking three o eight. His hands are too shaky. He's going to
shoot people in the knee. Warren, get over here, man, this
one's still bleeding out. Well, anyway, Corey and Kyle, they do
a quick tour of the house. He just drinks a coke and he eats
a roast beef sandwich over her fucking bleeding body. Well, this house looks
like where they stay. So they do a quick tour of the house,
and as they're talking, you get the impression both men plan on spending their
time in the house in different ways. Corey begins as he walks to the
rooms, he's pointing out various areas where he plans on spinning in people's mouths.
Yeah yeah. And Kyle on the other hand, points out places he
plans on sleeping because he passed out, because he's a blackout drunk. Corey
is the worst kind of cocksmen. Corey like the best coxsmen are as.
We've talked about many times. Bisexual. They've had so many women that they
have gotten the taste for men, you know, the greats of course,
Mick Jagger, David Bowie. Corey is the kind of person where you'd be
like, what do you want to spit in the guys mouth tonight? He'd
be like, what, No, I'm not fucking gay. It's like,
whoa dude, Just like con you're being lame right now. It's not cool.
So they of course christ in the place of the shotgun and they begin
screaming at the city that they've arrived. Then the girls arrive there, lesbians
without being lesbians. It breaks my heart that they're eventually going to get worn
down and hook up with these guys. Well, the signs are already there.
Malia and Katie arrive and they deem Corey a quote unquote fuck boy.
Yeah. The good news for Corey. They are into that sort of thing.
Yeah, it just breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that we
live in a world where this guy can have as much sex as he does.
Yeah, because he looks like a fucking Wallace and Gromt character and a
pearl necklace with a thirty two IQ. I mean, it just drives me
fucking well well, and I hate to say this. It's envy. It's
envy. Yeah, I hate to say this. While Brian and alex As
will discuss hit some walls with their lack of game, Corey seems to have
some, although it be a pocket full of backhanded compliments. But we'll also
like, here's a good idea. Just have fun with people. Don't mark
them and try to fucking slit their throats with your cock immediately. Just be
a human being, be a friend first, and then fuck them. Danielle
and Casey check out with that sixty rack of Michelobultra and that guy that does
DMT tells them that there are a ton of hot guys in this town.
I do not think we will see any. Jordan arrives next, Bad Girl
Reory and Stevie Nicks in one. She is from Martha's vineyard. I think
that she will be fun. I think so too. She tells us she's
spicy, so I'm guessing that's the way of her telling us that she he's
going to bring the drama. Yeah. Yes, Danielle and Casey get there,
and it turns out the three of them, and I'm mentioning Jordan here,
we are apparently wing women in New York. Yes, they're Wang women
in New York. And the reason why they're wing women in New York is
because, uh, Danielle doesn't have any friends. So, uh, these
new people that have come into her life in the last eight months, they're
now fast friends because the friends that Danielle used to have turned out to be
either crazy or they just don't like her because she talks to snowmen. Can
you believe they got engaged and didn't tell me I'm a snowman, ma'am,
ma'am. I'm not alive, ma'am. I said, do you want Pinto
or black? Sorry? No beans? So tom Schwartz, Oh yeah,
Tommy, Tommy Schwartz, if you don't mind, can I set this up?
Jillan, So the group has mostly arrived at this point. I don't
think Brian and Alex are there yet. Kyle gives an itinerary of the fellow
guests that will be arriving, and we learned the guy that quote unquote helped
break the Internet back in March twenty twenty three will be here, Tom Schwartz,
to which Danielle tells us if he brings any of his bullshit, he
can just get the hell out. Hey, Danielle, do you mind shutting
the fuck up? Shut the fuck up. We've got a TV show to
film here. Okay, you're not bringing the viewers. Nobody cares. Now
is Katie Flood pretending to not know who this guy is? Uh? No,
I think that she really doesn't know who. That's good for her.
So Danielle feels, yeah, that Tom should not be on the show,
And again, who made you judge Durry and executioner? That would be a
crazy world where someone has been sentenced to death and right before the fucking axe
gets brought down, they have to hear the incoherent blabbering about how you didn't
know about the engagement, think of the trauma that that would induce moments before
death. So Alex had seven Friday, March tenth same day, six thirty
seven pm, Alex and Brian arrive Alex. Alex's hair is turning some heads.
Well, Dylan, we're gonna need a goddamn chiropractor on site with all
that neck turning. Yeah, that's before he opens his goddamn mouth and everybody's
vagina withers away. Well, speaking of vaginas, Danielle's vagina can smell his
conditioner. And the other guy is there too. I don't know what his
name is. M He is the one with a very high pitched voice,
and he calls him off batman, So I'm going to call him batman for
probably the rest of this. Forgive me, Dylan, I did I missed
the first part of that. Is this his friend Brian or is that someone
else? No, it's his friend Brian. Okay man, Yeah, you
want to call him batman? Yeah, I'm gonna call him batman. Now
we got to talk about the toast, Okay, Yeah, Alex makes a
toast that nearly torpedoes is vagina? Goodwill? You know? He shows up
there the girl's love and how he's looking, and then he makes a toast
and not wearing a condom, Just what a girl wants. To hear a
night with you could result in a lifetime of anal harpies. Wow, they're
letting him fucker these crazy kids. That's second base in twenty twenty three.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know it is. Yeah, it's really
mind boggling to me, the the numbers game that these young men play.
And you have to have a goldfish's mind when you're out there perusing for pussy
the way that these men do, because they're not attempting to really do anything
with their lives other than fuck women. So when that is your entire purpose,
you are in a constant season of rutting, you really have no shame.
You probably will just say things that are overtly and outwardly and objectively disgusting,
but it doesn't matter. Love of averages, lav of averages, and
everybody's trapped in this house, and obviously there's Danielle, so you're gonna get
you know. Sorry, that was me. I have a theory. I
don't think Brian and Alex are actually friends because when we hear about their the
keys to their enduring friendship, they are on the same page. Yeah,
I think this is a fake Bravo friendship. Well, continuing with the bizarre
chirns on this show. Alex brings up two boxes. He sets them down
on the table and there is a freeze frame and a chiron arrow that points
to the boxes and it says dinner. Why why would you do that?
Uh? Why would you do that? They they begin talking about Creed.
Alex says that I'm a he's a lead singer of a Creed cover band.
Alex, I want the head count on how many times you've used that out
of bar. Yep, it's not funny, it's dumb, and most girls
that you're probably hitting on have no fucking clue who that band is. That
band is making a major resurgence right now, and deservedly so. Creed is
blowing up on TikTok because they're one of the funniest bands of all time.
Scott Stapp is a pathological liar and a crazy person, and they are a
Christian rock band and they're one of my favorite bands whose music I don't listen
to. They just released a new video on social media that they're getting back
together. In the video of Scott staff walking into a rehearsal space saying hello,
my friends, we meet again. It's been a while. Where should
we begin? And they say, how about with rehearsal good one? It's
such a good one, and and and it's just they're an important band.
They really are an important band. Yeah, listen, if we hadn't been
going long and I hadn't derailed us already a bunch of times, I would
play some creed. But we're not gonna do that. Maybe next week,
all right, so take it away, Okay. So they discuss h Sandoval
not coming because they don't need that energy change here, right. I think
Sandoval was a little busy. I think, yeah, Sandoval was crying at
Via Rosa. He was not coming to this happen. Oh Dad, you
need to leave. So sorry, it's okay, darling, but you have
to go home. And then you believe kendal Ken walks out. He's like,
can you believe Sandival is crying in the corner, And she's like,
yes, I see, I've been talking to him. Rooms are divided up.
Alex will be uh, well, he'll be staring at a tube.
But that's okay. He's from the Midwest and they are nice there. I
have no idea what that Okay, he'll take the twin bunks there he'll take
the twin bunks. Kyle chats with Danielle about Robert, and Robert made it
clear it's over no shit, and Corey makes the rounds hitting on girls.
He's I think he's this is where he's putting out the fielders. That was
my Meanwhile, well, also Danielle went to Aspen to stalk Robert. Danielle
is losing her fucking mind, and that you know that happens. It's very
sad. Oh, we've all been doing drive bys. I mean, I
haven't driven to a different state to check on my ex, but you know,
you drive by their apartment. Yeah, you know, you book a
ticket. Flat assmen start asking around, start saying, I can't believe it.
But they didn't tell me that they were getting engaged. So they're talking
about their licenses. Malia says that she has a chief mate three thousand and
Batman says, that's very attractive. M No one asked you, Batman,
if you find that it's that kind of Thing's just like it's amateur Hour with
Brian and Alex some of these seasoned veterans like Corey Kyle. You know,
Kyle is just walking around in the backyard naked yelling at trees because he's an
alcoholic, but he does his own thing. But yes, Brian and Alex
I think they think their marching orders try and lock it down with someone real
fast, and that's what makes good TV. I don't know, it's insane.
They are coming off like absolute douchebags. We get a rom com montage.
This was, I mean, one of the most insane things I've ever
seen on reality television. It was just one of those things where you know,
it was like chat GPT edited the show? Was this the family Karma
look back where Brian's MESSI and his mommy has to tell him to clean up
his Now was the one where he's like, I think that this could be
like a rom con story for me, And it like fast forwards to him
kissing someone later on in the season and this music plays and you're like,
did chat GPT edit the show? It's really bizarre. Kyle takes a call
from Amanda. He says, what's up? What fucking husband says that to
his wife the way that Kyle did. Listen, you can do characters with
your wife, you can joke right, you know, But but he earnestly
was like, hello, fraternity brother. It's good to see you on FaceTime,
right, you know. I hope for Kyle. I'm not a fan
of Kyle. I think he's pretty basic. I hope that that poison that
he's hawking has masked distribution because I don't see him. I just don't see
a future after this season with him. I assume they already filmed Summer House
and they'll have the Carl Lindsay breakup and whatnot. I just don't see what
world we watch a drunk Leprechaun blacked out in the backyard, pissing on electrical
wires, slurring his words at forty five the cockstings. You guys got to
piss on this too, But he says, I'm happy that Amanda's not around
so that I can let my free clack, which means blacking out and falling
into a door jam and just standing quite a nasty cut because of the amount
of alcohol, the blood is very thin. Everybody wakes up the next morning
and it looks like someone's been slain, and they're wondering, are we going
to be a part of another Netflix crime documentary because this looks bad? But
no, it was just Kyle just headbutting at door jam. Yeah, so
Batman says that he needs to settle down by thirty five when everybody's sitting down
to dinner. This is the kind of thing that, like, you have
to recognize how dumb this is to say around a bunch of women who are
mostly single and approaching that age. Mm hmm. All right, So if
we're at dinner, we're kind of discussing. They get into kind of a
little background on some of the cast members. We learn Alex was voted biggest
flirt, and while strategies are formed out finding a wife or whose mouth you're
going to spit in, Kyle is doing this. You look like you're in
your element. Cory Lewis is the most picturesque peace stream I've ever seen in
my life, split up by some fucking candle light. He's doing that.
That's what earns sim D big bucks. Yeah, he's forty one. So
we go around, we talk about relationship statuses. Corey deep throats a bone
and takes way too fucking long to tell us his super fucking boring answer about
that woman he spits in the mouth of Yeah, she'll I watched the trailer
she will be showing up at the tail end of the season, and she's,
uh, she's not too happy with Malia. No, she's very dumb.
She is going to walk into a house and begin attacking another woman for
her boyfriend cheating on her. Yeah, who I want to say, eventually
gets around to saying there, it's almost like a Jada pink Will Jada Pinkett
type of thing. Guy. Yeah, they're in an entanglement, but definitely
not in a relationship, which definitely means he can spit in other people's mouths.
Yeah. Well, he says that it's purposely a gray area so that
he he can have more fun. Could Corey say anything else about being in
a relationship with someone? Oh, it's perfect, that's right on brand.
So Brian pops in Altoyd and he says that him and Alex have the same
type, which is anyone Alex also has says that he has a tough time
focusing his energy on one person. All of these guys are absolute fucking morons,
And listen, it makes me sad because I was confused about why we
weren't seeing the Alex that we saw in Below Deck, who was very laid
back. He wasn't going after in fact, he stopped a potential hookup with
a girl because another guy he was working for was hooking up with her.
Yeah, he played it perfectly, and because of that, she was very
into him. This is the complete opposite of that. Oh no, complete
douchiary. I'd kill Alex if he hit on my wife at lar Okay,
so right now we're at March tenth, which is not necessary because the same
night, ten pm, Casey, the newbie, the person who has not
helmed a Bravo franchise, has has turned in a very underwhelming first day at
Winterhouse. She is us saw our logs up there. Patrick. We've talked
about this many times before. If you are the runt of the litter,
you have to get blacked out and try to kill somebody on your first night
because you're no buddy. You cannot just go upstairs and fall asleep. No,
no, no, no, not a night one. So Alex takes
Jordan up to the hot tub while everyone else parties. Batman calls Malia an
ogre, and Batman tries to defend the Ogre comment by saying that it was
a compliment from Shrek to do it is insane to say you're like an ogre
is it because it's like an onion. Dell it right now to then try
to hammer home the justification for why you said it, being a kind of
thematic motif in the dream Works picture that nobody remembers now it's twenty three years
ago. Is so dumb, I don't have the words pretty stupid. Zero
game. The only one person that's at this weird house has less game than
Batman, and that is Jacuzzie. Boy. Hey, you're hot hot,
Yeah, just like, what's that mean. I'm gonna creepily leah lurch towards
you right now, and I'm gonna slowly look really really really creepy. I'm
gonna move through this Chacuzie like it's a bug and I'm the lockness monster.
And then you're gonna say no, no, no, no, no,
no no no. And here's the true tragedy of this. I mean,
it's very Shakespearean. She is clearly open to it. She's gone into the
hot tub with you by herself, so at least, you know, maybe
she wants to get away from the fray. But in the language of you
know, youngsters spitting in each other's mouths, this is her saying I'm open
to I'm open. The only thing you can't do is, like we mentioned
at the top, do what you did. Have a conversation with her,
get to know her, make her feel like she's not prey, and then
maybe you can have sex with her. How do guys not know this man?
It's just nuts to me. He's an idiot? Boy did he get
a good edit on below deck? So Batman is the next fucking losers.
He's like, yeah, he wants a kiss from Jordan, and I think
this is minutes after she escaped his buddy Alex. Yeah. He goes,
hey, I just want to say good night to you. She goes,
we're we're going in the hall. We're going to the hall. He goes,
no, no, no, I know, and let me say goodbye.
And then he goes in for a hug, and you know, that's
that's it's a hidden dagger, you know, for a kiss, and she
immediately sees what's going on because she's sober and not an idiot, and she
refuses him. Next he's a little drunk guy and he is Batman. So
we end the night with a text from Sam to Corey. She says,
hope you had a good night, he says, for sure. Sure,
Uh, that would if I was dating someone and they and we were having
sex and they were staying with a bunch of people of the opposite sex,
and that's the text you responded back with me, it would be over over.
Do you hate Corey as much as I do? It's so easy to
hate everybody on this show. I try and have fun with it. I'm
being a little too negative tonight. Well show, I know, it's such
a it's a fun show. I've just been I've been saying people are too
dumb and well, I'll get over it. But it's shocking this first episode.
Sometimes, if you haven't seen this for a while, it's like seeing
a car crash for the first time. I think he is a narcissist jerk,
and I don't think he gives a shit about anybody's feelings. But he
is satisfying his own desires. He just wants to pop. He just wants
to pop, like what michaels all right, so next one pop. Hey,
it's been amazing getting to know your daughter. I can't tell you how
many times I've popped in and on her. Not fuck well, I mean,
that's the kind of conversation that he's all right, all right, well
maybe we'll bleep that. Yeah, we'll bleep that, all right. Let
me do you know the bit was speaking very crudely to the fop of course,
you know. March eleventh, Yeah, six thirty two am. If
you're following along, it's the next day. Malia cleans up the kitchen.
She explains, it's kind of our sea rat background. She doesn't mind it.
It's almost like a type of therapy. My mom used to tell me
this too. Yeah, she get up. I hear a fucking vacuum at
seventy more. What the fuck it's Saturday. Yeah, it's my therapy.
Patrick, uh So, Batman and Alex wake up. He asks Alex if
the hot tub went well, and Alex says, I don't know. You
know who does us? You struck out and got hit in the face by
the pitch, which is insane. I mean, if you think about it,
own it, dude, you pussy you're claiming blackout. Yeah, someone
throws a fucking fastball at your face, you swing at it and it hits
you in the face. That's what happened to you last night. So we
find out that Casey works in crypto nice and she touches his hands Batman's hands
and she says, you, wow, you have really rough hands for somebody
that works in an office. And he says, is that attractive? What
are you doing? Dude? We'll see how this goes. It's not going
on. I don't know how these guys have sex with literally anybody? How
is there anyone? Well? We have to remember being on a Bravo show,
which is mostly watched by females. Yeah, just your face going out
at the local bar in New York City could garner you some attention that you
absolutely don't deserve because you have no game. And this may work on other
people that are on on TV. I guess crazy. Hey, everybody raise
your daughters, right, you know? So? How Yeah? Oh well,
Kyle reads attacks from Swartz, who is at LAX. I didn't know
that Kyle and Swartz were this close. Oh yeah, they're really tight.
Can I say this? Here's my concern about Winter House mixing it up with
the Scan of All We lived the Scan of All Things six months ago,
and don't get me wrong, it was fun, but been there, done
that over it, don't need to relive it. And I hope we don't
have to relive it on this season of Winterhouse. I don't need Danielle confronting
Swarts about how he was handling things like that'll make me insane. That is
that should not be. Swarts should hopefully just be here for a weekend party
a little bit and then spend you know a lot of time doing dishes as
he did last Winter House, and then bust out of here because he's got
to go meet with you know, yeah, because we've seen you know,
Arianna get the t mobile commercials and the Uber Eats commercials, and we're very
happy. You know, it all worked out, It all worked out.
Everything's great, Santa bal Is on more reality television. But what we can't
have is Danielle being preachy to Tom Schwartz. That's not going to fly.
So I have a feeling that's exactly I think that's gonna happen. So let's
go Tubi. Yeah, let's go to Brian fucking loves tub Well. Kyle
tells Schwartz that the stoke levels are high. I just wanted to get that
out that. Kyle says the stoke levels are high, and he's forty one,
But also, where are you not from? Like Vermont or something like
where are you? Better be California. It better be California. I know
there's a lot of Santa Cruz to snowboarding talk. Fuck, so yeah,
we go tubing. We get guys and girls in different cars. Obviously,
the gaggle of idiots open the sun roof and all the snow falls in U
Brian and Alex continue to strike out. It's worth mentioning that Jordan in her
car lets her friends know that they that both Brian and Alex they've given her
the eck yep, and I like the camaraderie with the girls. Nobody's jealous
because how could you be jas. Everybody's just kind of having a good time
with it. Malia and Katie are chatting with Kyle and Corey. Corey asks,
what's your type aside from me? Speaking of social experiments, which this
is. I want Corey to be part of the Stanford prison experiment on the
wrong side of things. Daniel and Danielle and Alex sit down and here we
go again. I mean, this is really really hard to watch. Alex
says, you are a fucking boss, fucking chick, and he starts to
like go in again for this very like way too quick, way too much,
way too early kind of playbook, and it's tough to watch it is.
I appreciated her telling him to beat it. Yeah, maybe focus on
one girl. Yeah, try that. We get into a super tube and
we all head down the mountain and then we head home, and that is
when Schwartz arrives, and the episode ends with Schwartz saying that he was thrust
into a parallel universe. They had a plan, him and Sandoval when they
opened up Schwartz and Sandy's. They were gonna go on vacation thinking about it
all day. Man, Yeah, and boreding with my buddy. It's amazing
the work ethic that these two have. Once we open the restaurant, we're
going to leave the restaurant. That's a good point. I mean, it's
just unbelievable, Like you vice as this show on Munchies, where these real
chefs and real restaurant owners are like, we opened the restaurant a year and
a half ago. I literally haven't seen my family, not Schwartz and Sandy.
They're like, we opened, We're going to fucking super dumb whatever this
is called. Listen. I I want to apologize for being negative. I'm
like Pat said, when you see a car crash for the first time,
it's a little tough. But once you see the car crash over and over
and over and over again, you get desensitized to it. The stupidity is
going to become a commonplace and I'll have a lot more fun with it.
Next week, Papia dog Girl is coming in. I thought you did a
great job. Thanks YouTube, don't be hard on jumping the iTunes range.
Reviews five stars, kind words, got a Patreon dot com for Yeah,
we had an uncensored moment this episode. I don't know what I was thinking,
all right, until next time. I'm dying saying goodbye, Pat,
say goodbye. There's a lot of stuff on TV, even not all of
it. It's good. Jim tracks a lot of it's bad TV.