WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.080 --> 00:00:04.160 Welcome to Back in your Leadership. I'm Chris and I'm Lorenzo. And Lorenzo. 2 00:00:04.200 --> 00:00:07.719 On this episode, we're going to continue our discussion on the pieces of 3 00:00:07.719 --> 00:00:12.599 advice that coaches would give to their younger selves from the Forbes article written by 4 00:00:12.640 --> 00:00:17.280 their coach's counsel. On the last episode, we talked about a couple of 5 00:00:17.320 --> 00:00:21.839 them. We talked about pacing yourself and following your dreams. On this episode, 6 00:00:22.039 --> 00:00:24.039 there's a couple more and I want to discuss that kind of go hand 7 00:00:24.079 --> 00:00:30.199 in hand. The first of them is embracing discomfort. And as a person 8 00:00:30.239 --> 00:00:34.119 who's done some coaching in my life, I will tell you that there are 9 00:00:34.359 --> 00:00:43.079 very few things as uncomfortable as the first time that a coach is asked to 10 00:00:43.200 --> 00:00:46.439 coach someone. And I say that that kind of puts the cart before the 11 00:00:46.439 --> 00:00:50.039 horse, before a person is asked to coach somebody before they are actually a 12 00:00:50.079 --> 00:00:54.719 coach. There are very few things that I remember in my career as being 13 00:00:54.920 --> 00:01:00.479 as uncomfortable because I just wasn't used to it. I wasn't used to kind 14 00:01:00.520 --> 00:01:07.239 of engaging with a person in that specific way, and and there's some growing 15 00:01:07.280 --> 00:01:08.599 pains there and I kind of had to fumble my way through it. Yeah, 16 00:01:08.680 --> 00:01:17.920 no, it's so true. It's I think it's the ability to understand 17 00:01:18.400 --> 00:01:26.079 the kind of relationship dynamics of how do you approach someone to provide them with 18 00:01:26.920 --> 00:01:30.359 coaching, feedback, whatever we want to call it, basically with the intention 19 00:01:30.599 --> 00:01:34.840 of, like, I have a goal in front of me to help you 20 00:01:34.920 --> 00:01:40.239 get better at the thing that you're responsible for. But I don't necessarily have 21 00:01:40.280 --> 00:01:42.200 the relationship or trust yet to do that in such a way that you believe 22 00:01:42.239 --> 00:01:47.840 it's genuine right or right like all those things is what runs through it. 23 00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:53.760 But and this is my advice that I give to to leaders constantly. And 24 00:01:53.760 --> 00:01:56.920 I'm because I'm trying to break down that wall, as I said, tell 25 00:01:57.000 --> 00:01:59.719 them that, say hey, Chris, you know what, we're here to 26 00:01:59.719 --> 00:02:01.560 spend time together, right, A part of my role is making sure that 27 00:02:01.640 --> 00:02:06.719 I can help support you and finding success and there are things that you're responsible 28 00:02:06.760 --> 00:02:08.439 for and be honest with you, man, I'm a little bit nervous. 29 00:02:08.680 --> 00:02:12.240 I want this to go well. Right. I know that we don't have 30 00:02:12.280 --> 00:02:15.520 a relationship that is one that's like, hey, we know each other like 31 00:02:15.560 --> 00:02:19.680 that, Like you know that you don't know if I'm doing this because I 32 00:02:19.759 --> 00:02:22.280 have to, or like, am I really invested in you and your development 33 00:02:22.319 --> 00:02:24.439 your growth? And what I want you to know is that I want to 34 00:02:24.479 --> 00:02:28.439 be that I want to make sure that this goes really, really well. 35 00:02:28.520 --> 00:02:31.159 I want to make sure that you know that, like my intentions here are 36 00:02:31.199 --> 00:02:36.879 to help you be successful. I obviously have a responsibility right as a leader 37 00:02:36.919 --> 00:02:42.960 in the business to execute these strategies, to drive these outcomes and these results, 38 00:02:42.680 --> 00:02:46.520 to be responsible for these types of things. But I really want to 39 00:02:47.599 --> 00:02:52.639 build a relationship and such that we can feel comfortable, you know, working 40 00:02:52.680 --> 00:02:54.520 with each other in this space that I can say, hey, this is 41 00:02:54.560 --> 00:02:57.240 what I see and this is where I need you to get better, and 42 00:02:57.280 --> 00:02:59.680 you can tell me, hey, this is what I need and this is 43 00:02:59.719 --> 00:03:01.879 the roach that I appreciate most to help me get better. So like, 44 00:03:01.960 --> 00:03:07.719 let's talk through that, right, Like, Like being that open and transparent 45 00:03:07.840 --> 00:03:13.240 I think is absolutely critical to building a relationship quickly, but also to be 46 00:03:13.280 --> 00:03:16.759 able to get the work done in a way that that you know that that 47 00:03:16.919 --> 00:03:23.479 is not not all the grey areas, not all all the undefined conversations with 48 00:03:23.800 --> 00:03:25.840 you not sure what I'm saying or what I'm doing, me you know, 49 00:03:25.960 --> 00:03:30.039 like stumbling through all of that type of stuff. But that's it's a really 50 00:03:30.080 --> 00:03:34.479 hard thing for leaders to do because it has to show, you know, 51 00:03:34.599 --> 00:03:37.680 this element of just because I have the title, doesn't Maandy, I know 52 00:03:37.719 --> 00:03:42.080 everything. And and you may believe, you may you may have bought into 53 00:03:42.080 --> 00:03:46.560 this idea that you can't be that person and be that open with your people, 54 00:03:46.919 --> 00:03:49.879 but I just I don't believe that. I think that's great. I 55 00:03:49.919 --> 00:03:53.080 think it's so well said. I think that there are in order to do 56 00:03:53.120 --> 00:04:02.080 this right, you have to essentially tell an employee that you can't get your 57 00:04:02.199 --> 00:04:08.879 job done unless they do something too, and that it's on them to do 58 00:04:08.960 --> 00:04:14.639 it. And that is a level of vulnerability that a lot of leaders don't 59 00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:17.920 feel comfortable with. They want to seem like they are in control of the 60 00:04:17.959 --> 00:04:24.600 situation, not from a I'm going to control you, but from a you 61 00:04:24.639 --> 00:04:29.759 know, manifest destiny standpoint, like I'm here to do my job, which 62 00:04:29.800 --> 00:04:31.920 is to coach you, and then you will do your job, which is 63 00:04:31.959 --> 00:04:35.839 to get done that thing almost like it's a foregone conclusion, right, And 64 00:04:38.680 --> 00:04:42.560 if the leader was doing this correctly, they would have to admit to themselves 65 00:04:42.560 --> 00:04:46.160 that it is not a foregone conclusion that the person you're talking to and trying 66 00:04:46.199 --> 00:04:50.319 to coach is going to do this thing differently after you're coaching, and that 67 00:04:50.360 --> 00:04:55.800 you have to admit to that person that you know that, that you understand 68 00:04:55.839 --> 00:04:58.800 that, that you know that they know that, and that you're looking for 69 00:04:58.879 --> 00:05:03.839 some type of reciprocity or symbiosis in the relationship to be able to move forward 70 00:05:03.879 --> 00:05:11.800 together. And that involves a leader kind of stepping down a notch in and 71 00:05:12.040 --> 00:05:15.240 kind of eliminating the hierarchy. And and and if you think about it from 72 00:05:15.240 --> 00:05:19.639 the standpoint of like the a relationship between a coach and a player. We've 73 00:05:19.639 --> 00:05:24.560 talked about this in episodes before. You if you look at some of the 74 00:05:25.240 --> 00:05:29.879 best, you know, sports players of any professional sport, they would not 75 00:05:29.959 --> 00:05:33.319 necessarily make good coaches. And if you look at the best, most well 76 00:05:33.360 --> 00:05:38.839 renowned coaches in professional sports, maybe at some point in time they did play, 77 00:05:39.160 --> 00:05:44.560 but very few of them were star players on their teams. They were 78 00:05:44.680 --> 00:05:47.759 just good players who decided to go into coaching and they definitely could not play 79 00:05:47.800 --> 00:05:51.240 anymore. Like they're done with that aspect of it. So, so knowing 80 00:05:51.319 --> 00:05:57.680 how to coach somebody and knowing how to execute the thing that needs to be 81 00:05:57.759 --> 00:06:02.240 done. They are very different skills, and it should be admitted and openly 82 00:06:02.279 --> 00:06:06.920 discussed that the person who is doing one of those things and the person who 83 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:11.720 is expected to do the other one of those things aren't necessarily the same person. 84 00:06:12.439 --> 00:06:16.639 And that's okay. A coach who is a leader shouldn't necessarily be expected 85 00:06:16.720 --> 00:06:21.279 to be able to execute the job of the employees that they are coaching to 86 00:06:21.360 --> 00:06:26.199 the level at which those employees are expected to execute. It's just not a 87 00:06:26.240 --> 00:06:29.680 real thing. And I think I think in a lot of businesses, leaders 88 00:06:29.759 --> 00:06:32.319 believe that it is a thing, and therefore they try to act like it 89 00:06:32.439 --> 00:06:34.439 is, or like they could do it too, or that they know what 90 00:06:34.480 --> 00:06:39.319 they're doing here, to the point where they lose the authenticity that they need 91 00:06:39.319 --> 00:06:42.639 to have with their people in having these conversations. And so to kind of 92 00:06:42.920 --> 00:06:46.720 get yourself there mentally, to have to admit all that it will be uncomfortable 93 00:06:46.720 --> 00:06:49.759 to do that. And that's why I think it's important to when this article 94 00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:54.439 talks about embracing discomfort, that is a very uncomfortable thing to do if you've 95 00:06:54.439 --> 00:06:56.439 not done it before, if you're not used to it, yeah, one 96 00:06:56.480 --> 00:06:59.680 hundred percent. And I think about if if you pull back and really think 97 00:06:59.720 --> 00:07:03.839 about this idea. Right, so, you as maybe an individual contributor or 98 00:07:03.879 --> 00:07:09.319 somebody that's in your career, you get coached because you have leaders that you've 99 00:07:09.319 --> 00:07:12.680 built relationships with, they're invested in your development, you're doing good work, 100 00:07:12.720 --> 00:07:16.079 you're doing better work, and you're continuing to be coached as that individual. 101 00:07:16.480 --> 00:07:20.279 Then you then you roll up into a leadership role, right, right, 102 00:07:20.720 --> 00:07:26.000 And what tends to happen is that there is this belief now that because you 103 00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:30.839 are in a leadership role, the fact that you've been coached before now makes 104 00:07:30.839 --> 00:07:35.399 you a quality coach, right. And what we don't have a lot of 105 00:07:35.680 --> 00:07:42.279 is like the actual are you actually being coached on being a coach to other 106 00:07:42.319 --> 00:07:46.199 people? This is good? That's that's and that's that's the facts is like 107 00:07:46.199 --> 00:07:50.399 what how how do you know that you're actually good at coaching people, not 108 00:07:50.600 --> 00:07:55.160 just being coached? And I think like that that's where you even see in 109 00:07:55.240 --> 00:07:59.800 like in in in athletics and stuff, is that like some ex players make 110 00:08:00.319 --> 00:08:03.879 great coaches and then some ex players do not make great coaches, right, 111 00:08:03.800 --> 00:08:07.519 And I believe that it's because of that, it's because they have not actually 112 00:08:07.560 --> 00:08:11.600 been taught how to coach people. They've only had the feeling of how they've 113 00:08:11.639 --> 00:08:16.480 been coached and what do they like and what worked well for them or or 114 00:08:16.519 --> 00:08:20.120 maybe what did they not like. But that's how they were taught because that's 115 00:08:20.120 --> 00:08:24.319 how they were coached, which now they coach people that same exact type of 116 00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:28.759 way. And it's kind of like if you're waiting for someone to teach you 117 00:08:28.879 --> 00:08:33.600 how to do that versus doing what you ask your people to do every single 118 00:08:33.639 --> 00:08:35.960 day, which is, go find someone to teach you. Go spend time 119 00:08:37.120 --> 00:08:39.879 in doing research, Go read some books, listen to podcasts, listen to 120 00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:45.399 an audiobook, watch YouTube videos, watch ted talks like go actually spend time 121 00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:50.840 better understanding how you could show up in that space, versus waiting for someone 122 00:08:50.919 --> 00:08:54.720 to make you better in that space. Because I don't believe that there's a 123 00:08:54.799 --> 00:09:00.679 whole lot of great people out there in leadership that know how to coach coaches, 124 00:09:01.080 --> 00:09:03.320 you know, And so that's my belief. I've I've seen it. 125 00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:05.080 I know a lot of leaders, I've met a lot of people. I 126 00:09:05.080 --> 00:09:07.919 think a lot of people have some amazing theory. I think a lot of 127 00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:11.879 people have an amazing way of explaining it, which is super helpful. I 128 00:09:11.879 --> 00:09:16.919 think people have a great way of sharing examples and analogies and stories that help 129 00:09:16.960 --> 00:09:22.320 people understand how to go about being a good coach. I struggle sometimes to 130 00:09:22.360 --> 00:09:26.559 find people that actually know how to put it all together besides telling you how 131 00:09:26.559 --> 00:09:31.240 to go to you in real time. Yes, show me how this actually 132 00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:33.799 happened. Show me the nuance, show me the informal dialogue, show me 133 00:09:35.080 --> 00:09:39.080 what we did earlier. Show me how you build the relationship at the beginning, 134 00:09:39.159 --> 00:09:41.840 to open up the spaces, to have real dialogue, to be able 135 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:46.159 to then give somebody the feedback to then be able to make it something that 136 00:09:46.240 --> 00:09:50.440 actually touches them in a way that's sticky, where they retain it and then 137 00:09:50.480 --> 00:09:52.960 apply it to Then how do you follow up on that the next time you 138 00:09:54.000 --> 00:09:58.279 see them, Where they feel great about the work that they've done versus the 139 00:09:58.320 --> 00:10:01.320 work that you've told them to do. These are all things that are a 140 00:10:01.440 --> 00:10:07.440 major part of actual coaching. That to this whole point of like embracing the 141 00:10:09.720 --> 00:10:15.000 being uncomfortable, you have to spend time in your own head realizing what you're 142 00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:16.480 good at, what you're not good at and then you have to go out 143 00:10:16.519 --> 00:10:20.960 there and ask for that help. And sometimes you don't have it sideways. 144 00:10:20.039 --> 00:10:24.080 Sometimes you don't have it directly above you. And my thought and advice in 145 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:28.600 all of that is that your people can actually be your best help if you've 146 00:10:28.600 --> 00:10:33.240 built a relationship with them for them to want to help you, if you 147 00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:37.519 tell them I want to be the best coach possible for you, what do 148 00:10:37.559 --> 00:10:41.919 you need for me? Here's my objective is to make sure that your behaviors 149 00:10:41.960 --> 00:10:46.200 are aligned with what we're looking to do and that your outcomes increase so that 150 00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:50.440 the betterment of the whole team's outcomes increase. Like that's my objective here, 151 00:10:50.799 --> 00:10:52.840 but I want to do it in a way that is helpful, that's inspiring, 152 00:10:52.879 --> 00:10:58.759 that's motivating, and that allows you to drive your own experience here and 153 00:10:58.840 --> 00:11:03.919 be authentically yourself, Like having that conversation I think is critical and that your 154 00:11:05.039 --> 00:11:07.200 team can be the best resource in helping you do this work if you don't 155 00:11:07.240 --> 00:11:11.279 have other resources around you, right and admitting that it's okay that there's both 156 00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:16.000 meaning, don't as a leader try to mask the fact that there's something in 157 00:11:16.039 --> 00:11:20.120 it for you. It doesn't just have to be Hey, I'm coaching you 158 00:11:20.200 --> 00:11:24.159 up because I want to see you succeed. I want to see you have 159 00:11:24.279 --> 00:11:28.279 doors open for you. I want to see you accomplish your goals. I'm 160 00:11:28.320 --> 00:11:31.360 trying to hide the fact that for me to get promoted, for me to 161 00:11:31.399 --> 00:11:35.279 get recognized as a good leader, for me to be given a good review 162 00:11:35.320 --> 00:11:39.720 of my next performance review, my people need to be performing to the level 163 00:11:39.759 --> 00:11:43.759 they need to perform. You don't need to hide all that. It's obvious 164 00:11:43.799 --> 00:11:48.080 and it's true, and it's both. So it's not just I'm doing this 165 00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:50.960 because I need to succeed, and it's not just I'm doing this because it's 166 00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:54.879 one hundred percent altruistic the goodness of my heart, I want to see you 167 00:11:54.919 --> 00:11:58.240 succeed. No, it's both. It's their outcomes. I'm expected to deliver, 168 00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:01.919 and this is how we're going to do it. But I know that 169 00:12:01.919 --> 00:12:03.639 the most effective way of doing that is to make sure that you and I 170 00:12:03.639 --> 00:12:07.200 are good, that you and I have a good relationship, you can talk 171 00:12:07.200 --> 00:12:09.360 to each other. It's both. The next one I want to go into 172 00:12:09.440 --> 00:12:15.120 on this discussion is very closely tied into embracing discomfort, and this is the 173 00:12:15.159 --> 00:12:20.519 idea of failure being used as a learning tool and not just something to you 174 00:12:20.519 --> 00:12:24.240 know, say, woe is me over. And I think that the reason 175 00:12:24.279 --> 00:12:28.679 why I like these two is being tied together is that I think it's very 176 00:12:28.759 --> 00:12:33.240 rare for you to be uncomfortable in a situation where you know there is no 177 00:12:33.080 --> 00:12:37.440 risk of failure, right that that's where the discomfort comes from, is I 178 00:12:37.840 --> 00:12:39.679 hope I don't fail. And if I think about the examples that we just 179 00:12:39.720 --> 00:12:45.679 talked about when it comes to coaching people, you know, the the failures 180 00:12:45.720 --> 00:12:52.600 that I have had in coaching definitely came from situations where I was uncomfortable first 181 00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:56.200 uh and then failed. It was if I was completely comfortable in the situation 182 00:12:56.279 --> 00:13:00.440 and it was a good relationship and we had a great conversation, then it 183 00:13:00.480 --> 00:13:03.120 was very unlikely that I would fail in that conversation like it was going to 184 00:13:03.159 --> 00:13:07.440 go well. And so this idea of failure is absolutely a learning opportunity, 185 00:13:07.480 --> 00:13:11.879 and it's it's only a failure if you don't learn something from it. So 186 00:13:13.120 --> 00:13:16.360 you either need to get the result you're looking for, which means you didn't 187 00:13:16.360 --> 00:13:20.159 fail, or you need to get a learning from it so that you are 188 00:13:20.240 --> 00:13:24.399 less likely to make the same mistake again, which is also a win. 189 00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:28.639 It's only a loss if you if you don't learn anything from it and didn't 190 00:13:28.679 --> 00:13:31.399 do it right. Yeah, one hundred percent. Like I think that whether 191 00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:37.120 you call it failure or mistakes or learning, like, like I you have 192 00:13:37.200 --> 00:13:45.799 to like if you're not if you're not making decisions that result in the right 193 00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:48.840 thing, maybe the wrong thing, and maybe the like in between thing, 194 00:13:48.919 --> 00:13:54.600 Like, if you're not making decisions where there's a risk involved of it not 195 00:13:54.039 --> 00:13:58.080 actually having the outcome that you want, like, then you're not really, 196 00:13:58.120 --> 00:14:05.120 in my opinion, you're not in a space to truly encompass learning. And 197 00:14:05.240 --> 00:14:07.960 a failure is just a major part of that. And I love what you 198 00:14:07.960 --> 00:14:11.360 said there. It's just like it's only failure if you don't learn anything, 199 00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:15.159 Like if you just like you know, you did it, it didn't work 200 00:14:15.159 --> 00:14:16.080 out and you're like, oh, well, you know, I guess it 201 00:14:16.519 --> 00:14:24.399 didn't work out, or or you blame other factors for your lack of execution 202 00:14:24.720 --> 00:14:26.960 or quality strategy right out of my control. It was out of my control, 203 00:14:28.279 --> 00:14:31.000 right exactly. If you push it that way, then you know what 204 00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:33.679 you're going to find out that like everything you look at is out of your 205 00:14:33.720 --> 00:14:35.879 control. And then if it's all lot, it's a lout of your control, 206 00:14:35.879 --> 00:14:39.039 then what exactly do you control? Right, You're living the life of 207 00:14:39.039 --> 00:14:43.240 everybody else and everybody else's problems and issues and situations and decisions, and you're 208 00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:46.559 not taking any of that on. So like for me, that element of 209 00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:52.799 failing and risk taking is your personal learning that when you learn from it, 210 00:14:52.799 --> 00:14:58.000 it builds confidence, capability and understanding to make you more effective. But whatever 211 00:14:58.039 --> 00:15:01.080 it is that you're doing, and it provides you with the space to know 212 00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:05.600 that even if I fail, I'm gonna be okay and I'm gonna figure this 213 00:15:05.639 --> 00:15:09.480 out. And again you're building that confidence to then run you know, solo 214 00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:15.559 by yourself, and you're able to better get away from some of the external 215 00:15:15.559 --> 00:15:18.879 factors that may slow you down in life and in leadership in general. Right, 216 00:15:18.879 --> 00:15:22.639 if everything is out of your control, then really it doesn't matter who's 217 00:15:22.639 --> 00:15:26.559 in the position to begin with. Right, you could put ay if there's 218 00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:31.360 if nothing that the individual brings it impacts the outcome because everything is out of 219 00:15:31.399 --> 00:15:37.000 their control, then that person should be very easily replaceable with somebody else who 220 00:15:37.080 --> 00:15:41.120 will also not have any control over the situation because it's all external factors anyway, 221 00:15:41.159 --> 00:15:43.759 So clearly that's a lot of bogus, absolutely, and with that it 222 00:15:43.799 --> 00:15:46.120 brings us to this episode is one minute Hack. But first a few words 223 00:15:46.159 --> 00:15:50.240 from our sponsors. All right, for this episode one minute Hack, here's 224 00:15:50.240 --> 00:15:50.960 what I want you to do. I want you to get out a pen 225 00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:56.080 and paper and write down a list of all of the one on one interactions 226 00:15:56.120 --> 00:16:00.279 you had with employees where there was some coaching involved over the last thirty sixty 227 00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:03.759 or ninety days. You know, every man you can remember or put down 228 00:16:03.759 --> 00:16:07.320 on paper, and I want you to look at each one of those things 229 00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:11.879 and think about the ones that stick out as didn't go as well as you 230 00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:15.039 would have hoped it was going to go. Go back to those, look 231 00:16:15.080 --> 00:16:18.840 at those specific ones and write down why you think it didn't go as well 232 00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:22.240 as you as you wanted it to go. Was there something that you could 233 00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:25.039 have done differently? Was there something that if you could go back in time 234 00:16:25.159 --> 00:16:27.840 and redo the interaction over again. Is there something you wouldn't have said that 235 00:16:27.879 --> 00:16:30.639 you did. Is there something that you should have said that you didn't say. 236 00:16:33.159 --> 00:16:37.320 The point of debriefing these with yourself is to make sure that you don't 237 00:16:37.360 --> 00:16:41.759 just leave these interactions as failures of coaching, but an attempt to learn from 238 00:16:41.799 --> 00:16:45.039 those interactions so that the next time you have it, you are less likely 239 00:16:45.120 --> 00:16:48.200 to make those same mistakes again. It's very important, no matter how long 240 00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:51.720 you've been coaching, and no matter how good you are at doing this, 241 00:16:52.120 --> 00:16:56.840 that you interact with people in a way that says that the next step of 242 00:16:56.879 --> 00:17:00.720 this interaction is me debriefing with myself afterwards and kind of taking inventory about what 243 00:17:00.759 --> 00:17:03.519 went right and what went wrong so you can learn from those things. You 244 00:17:03.559 --> 00:17:07.839 will do that your entire career if you want to continue to be a good 245 00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:10.519 coach. Yeah, I think it's it's it's such a great point, you 246 00:17:10.519 --> 00:17:18.160 know. I think sometimes I've been in situations where you go to a conference 247 00:17:18.279 --> 00:17:22.359 or you go to like a learning space and you have these theoretical leadership ideas. 248 00:17:22.440 --> 00:17:26.359 You talk about self reflection, you talk about like, you know, 249 00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:29.319 what have you learned and how are you're growing? And then you sit there 250 00:17:29.319 --> 00:17:30.400 and you're like and you write down these things, and you're like, you 251 00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:33.400 know, you get asked these questions and you write them down and you go 252 00:17:33.480 --> 00:17:36.799 like, wow, we have all these epiphanies and like, oh my gosh, 253 00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:37.880 it was such a great breakout. We had such a great time. 254 00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:41.000 And I'm always in the back of my head, I'm like, yeah, 255 00:17:41.039 --> 00:17:42.440 but like you should be doing that weekly, you know what I'm saying, 256 00:17:42.519 --> 00:17:47.519 like like like you don't go to a conference or something. And then we 257 00:17:47.599 --> 00:17:51.519 have this epiphany of like how great it was to take time to reflect, 258 00:17:51.559 --> 00:17:55.400 to write things down, to answer questions, like that should be a part 259 00:17:55.599 --> 00:18:00.759 of what you do pretty consistently. Sometimes it doesn't. You know, you 260 00:18:00.799 --> 00:18:03.880 and I are both like write it down somewhere. Some people like to do 261 00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:07.759 it in their own heads. Some people like to journal about like whatever that 262 00:18:07.880 --> 00:18:12.680 is that you do. Taking the actual time to reflect upon the decisions that 263 00:18:12.759 --> 00:18:17.519 you made, the conversations that you had, the directions that you were given, 264 00:18:17.720 --> 00:18:21.519 the impact that you're having, Like all these things are so critical to 265 00:18:21.759 --> 00:18:29.319 actually again finding patterns, finding successful behaviors, you know, being able to 266 00:18:29.319 --> 00:18:32.720 give yourself credit for the work that you're doing, things that you've learned, 267 00:18:33.119 --> 00:18:37.039 Like all these things really really matter if you're truly committed to, you know, 268 00:18:37.119 --> 00:18:41.359 to growing your own self, which in turn I think grows your career. 269 00:18:41.559 --> 00:18:45.319 Yeah, that's so true. I remember the first time that I was 270 00:18:45.559 --> 00:18:48.640 kind of new in my career and I went to one of those kind of 271 00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:53.559 you know, day long off sites or multi day off sites, and the 272 00:18:53.680 --> 00:19:00.279 last hour of the first day we were asked to kind of write down learning 273 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:03.319 from the day, journal the learnings from the day. And I sat there 274 00:19:03.359 --> 00:19:07.680 for forty eight minutes doing nothing and then not and then and then writing down 275 00:19:07.720 --> 00:19:11.839 like a few little quick things because I just wasn't prepared to do that, 276 00:19:11.960 --> 00:19:14.440 didn't know I was going to have to do that, and wasn't good at 277 00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:18.839 doing that, most importantly, and it's not the kind of thing that you 278 00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:22.920 just learn how to do on the fly. You actually have to get good 279 00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:27.440 at doing it in a way that is useful after the fact. So if 280 00:19:27.440 --> 00:19:32.720 you're writing things down to journal or to debrief with yourself or take inventory of 281 00:19:32.759 --> 00:19:34.640 what happened during a day, it's so that you can revisit it later on 282 00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:37.119 and jog your memory about the things that you got out of it, the 283 00:19:37.240 --> 00:19:40.920 learnings you took from it. And if you so, if you're not good 284 00:19:40.960 --> 00:19:44.920 at writing things down succinctly and in a way that you know, kind of 285 00:19:44.920 --> 00:19:48.480 filters out the noise, and puts down the most important things. Then you'll 286 00:19:48.480 --> 00:19:52.200 never get good at it unless you actually do it, And so the easiest 287 00:19:52.240 --> 00:19:56.240 way to get good at this is to do it based on your everyday stuff, 288 00:19:56.680 --> 00:19:59.279 so that when it comes time to these you know one offs or off 289 00:19:59.319 --> 00:20:02.640 sites or things kind of take you out of your routine. It's not like 290 00:20:02.720 --> 00:20:07.839 a new skill you're having to learn. Is now debriefing with yourself or journaling. 291 00:20:07.279 --> 00:20:11.519 These are all things that will help you as a leader get better at 292 00:20:11.599 --> 00:20:15.359 leading and at coaching. So you know, going through these things as often 293 00:20:15.359 --> 00:20:18.480 as you can or putting time on your calendar to do them means that you 294 00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:19.559 will get more out of them, and then on should be like a waste 295 00:20:19.559 --> 00:20:22.079 of time. Absolutely, and with that it brings us to the end of 296 00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:26.039 this episode. This is hacking your leadership. I'm Lorenzo and I'm Chris, 297 00:20:26.039 --> 00:20:26.240 and we'll talk to you all next time.