WEBVTT 1 00:00:08.119 --> 00:00:16.359 Hope for Today's show with your host Louise Boobron Macaluso. Hi, everyone, 2 00:00:16.640 --> 00:00:24.760 welcome to Hope for Today. We are back with our continuation to our second 3 00:00:24.800 --> 00:00:31.600 installment of our conversation about unity, something that we really need. So hey 4 00:00:31.760 --> 00:00:38.280 mar lady, Hi Louise, Hey guys, soll everybody, thank you for 5 00:00:38.320 --> 00:00:52.399 having me again. I think we are keeping you so yo, We're back 6 00:00:53.000 --> 00:01:00.679 continuing continuing our conversation on unity. Also last week we were talking about how 7 00:01:02.240 --> 00:01:07.760 um the stemps that need to be taken in order for us to achieve unity 8 00:01:07.040 --> 00:01:11.400 and um I mentioned, you know, our way of perceiving, how we 9 00:01:11.599 --> 00:01:18.200 think, because like I think it starts with UM. A way of thinking 10 00:01:18.480 --> 00:01:23.920 about each other plays a major role. And you know how we interact, 11 00:01:23.719 --> 00:01:27.000 you know, because like if you see me in a good light, we're 12 00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:32.079 gonna have like you know, a good connection and things will flow. But 13 00:01:32.159 --> 00:01:36.280 like there's like you know, any kind of um like you know, negative 14 00:01:36.519 --> 00:01:42.400 like you know, negative perception, negative perceive perceptions about like you know, 15 00:01:42.439 --> 00:01:49.200 the other person. There's it's true to create you know, friction and division 16 00:01:49.280 --> 00:01:53.599 absolutely, and then you start to communicate from that mindset. Yeah, there's 17 00:01:53.719 --> 00:01:59.680 nothing that that person can ever say that can get you to say I agree, 18 00:01:59.799 --> 00:02:04.599 because now you you're thinking negatively completely about exactly. You know how sometimes 19 00:02:04.599 --> 00:02:07.840 like you know, people would say, you know, it's like you meet 20 00:02:07.959 --> 00:02:13.199 someone and then as soon as they see you, like somehow they don't like 21 00:02:13.319 --> 00:02:15.439 you. You don't have to do anything, but somehow they don't like you. 22 00:02:16.120 --> 00:02:22.199 And so from that perspective, like there's nothing you could give them the 23 00:02:22.280 --> 00:02:27.680 world and they would still not like you. They would like not agree with 24 00:02:27.919 --> 00:02:31.479 anything you have to say whatsoever, because they made up their mind that like, 25 00:02:31.639 --> 00:02:36.560 yeah, something about her, you know, rubs me the wrong way. 26 00:02:36.919 --> 00:02:39.120 And that's about it. Well, well, doctor, I just want 27 00:02:39.120 --> 00:02:44.000 to back up a little bit because last last week you you mentioned the last 28 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:55.759 segment you mentioned cognitive free program. Yeah, can you tell us from a 29 00:02:55.960 --> 00:03:00.360 doctor standpoint from you know, what is it actually we mean and how do 30 00:03:00.439 --> 00:03:10.439 we do it? Yeah? What a great question? Yeah, yeah right 31 00:03:10.680 --> 00:03:20.080 right. So yeah, so committing framing um, we usually um when we 32 00:03:20.120 --> 00:03:25.000 have something happened to us in the past, like fast experiences. So for 33 00:03:25.080 --> 00:03:32.280 instance, you know, we've heard about nature versus nurture. Our environment play 34 00:03:32.560 --> 00:03:38.680 a major role in how we, you know, become who we are how 35 00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:44.000 we think, how we behave, how we interact with other people, and 36 00:03:44.120 --> 00:03:50.199 so that also can involve trauma, you know, and trauma can it's not 37 00:03:50.280 --> 00:03:53.960 just like you know, being involved in an accident or something like that. 38 00:03:53.039 --> 00:03:59.280 Trauma can be being raised in a home way. And there's no stability that 39 00:03:59.319 --> 00:04:02.879 can consist trauma for a child, you know, because they don't know like, 40 00:04:02.960 --> 00:04:06.199 you know, am I gonna be fed today? As like you know, 41 00:04:06.360 --> 00:04:11.400 mom gonna like you know, scream at me or you know, spake 42 00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:15.639 me or be mad at me? Or is that gonna be drunk today? 43 00:04:15.719 --> 00:04:19.439 And just like rache War, you know, rache Tower and that in the 44 00:04:19.560 --> 00:04:25.879 home. So that's trauma. And so those things play a role in our 45 00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:30.600 brain. You know, there's like a way that like if we shift our 46 00:04:30.360 --> 00:04:36.959 original way of seeing and perceiving things, perceiving people, perceiving life in general 47 00:04:38.519 --> 00:04:43.920 and so um and from that perspective, you know, I think that's where 48 00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:50.199 um stuff like racism, negative perceptions like you know, rudeness come into play 49 00:04:50.360 --> 00:04:58.920 because of like things that were learned, and so cognitive reframing it works in 50 00:04:59.040 --> 00:05:05.759 terms of like learning to become aware of those views and challenging them. You 51 00:05:05.800 --> 00:05:10.120 know because like sometimes, like you know, we have like thoughts like and 52 00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:15.920 then we automatically accept them as though it's like the reality, but we can 53 00:05:15.959 --> 00:05:20.720 actually challenge the thoughts. So and reframing your thoughts like you challenge. The 54 00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:26.879 first step is challenging them and be like is that really true? And like 55 00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:30.720 you know, you could say because like sometimes like if somebody has like a 56 00:05:30.839 --> 00:05:34.399 negative perception about themselves, even you could just say no, I don't think 57 00:05:34.439 --> 00:05:40.600 that's true, and you say the opposite. So you start reframing your way 58 00:05:40.639 --> 00:05:46.399 of like seeing of thinking about yourself. And so that's how cognitive reframing work. 59 00:05:46.879 --> 00:05:51.439 And it also works in terms of like not only like just challenging the 60 00:05:51.600 --> 00:05:59.000 thoughts, but also to just like claim the opposite of them and saying it 61 00:05:59.079 --> 00:06:01.759 out loud. There's like such power, you know how, like you know, 62 00:06:02.040 --> 00:06:05.079 the Bible says, you know, the power of life and death is 63 00:06:05.079 --> 00:06:11.519 in our tongue. You know, soever you declare it will come to pass. 64 00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:17.079 So like declaring things out loud, it works because like your brain hears 65 00:06:17.079 --> 00:06:21.519 it as well, and your brain conforms to it. Okay, time out, 66 00:06:21.680 --> 00:06:26.519 I'm sorry, I did not know that was a thing, Like, 67 00:06:26.560 --> 00:06:29.800 oh I know that it's a thing in the Bible, and I know that 68 00:06:29.839 --> 00:06:32.160 it's an actual thing in reality, but I did not know that that is 69 00:06:32.560 --> 00:06:43.560 like that study of the brain, it's actually uh an actual methodology or there's 70 00:06:43.560 --> 00:06:49.079 a science behind science. It's like everything, like you know when I um 71 00:06:49.199 --> 00:06:53.800 talk about that, whether it's like a speaking engagement or you know, with 72 00:06:53.959 --> 00:06:59.399 a like with the efficient one on one like oh my gosh, I didn't 73 00:06:59.399 --> 00:07:02.959 realize, you know, And because it's like so powerful, And that's why 74 00:07:02.959 --> 00:07:06.720 I love psychology, you know, because like we are such you know, 75 00:07:06.920 --> 00:07:14.160 fascinating beings and to think that like you know, by speaking and um. 76 00:07:14.600 --> 00:07:17.839 The way you can understand that is, you know, how when someone is 77 00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:23.560 abused, when like you know, especially verbal abuse, where they keep hearing 78 00:07:24.040 --> 00:07:27.839 negative stuff about themselves. Oh you are like you know you ugly, you 79 00:07:27.879 --> 00:07:30.759 know you so you so this, you know you you're not going to amount 80 00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:35.399 to anything. So they keep hearing that, so their brain registers it and 81 00:07:35.439 --> 00:07:43.360 they start internalizing it and it becomes like a reality to those and they identify 82 00:07:43.759 --> 00:07:47.480 with it eventually because like you know, because they hear it so often. 83 00:07:48.199 --> 00:07:53.720 So we could use that in a positive, you know way, where we 84 00:07:54.959 --> 00:07:59.720 h say positive things, and it's sort of like you send a message to 85 00:07:59.800 --> 00:08:03.240 your breaing, yeah, telling you a breath. This is like, this 86 00:08:03.360 --> 00:08:09.959 is what we are going with now, and the power, the power of 87 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:13.160 what you're saying, and basically is that at the end of the day, 88 00:08:13.279 --> 00:08:18.480 regardless of how much pain and trauma you have gone through, you don't have 89 00:08:18.639 --> 00:08:22.839 to sit in the victim role. You can take charge and say I'm going 90 00:08:22.920 --> 00:08:26.959 to pre program. And of course it's difficult. The most difficult thing for 91 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:33.320 a human being is to go inward right to right, to see your the 92 00:08:33.360 --> 00:08:35.960 truth of you, of your good and bad, of your emotions, of 93 00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:43.480 why and go deep in because it hurts, right because they're so deeply rooted 94 00:08:43.559 --> 00:08:46.039 and and you're gonna have to relive that in a way. But it's also 95 00:08:46.200 --> 00:08:50.399 very powerful because it gives you back the power. Yeah, right exactly, 96 00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:56.799 because typically we have the tendency to do that to other people, right, 97 00:08:56.039 --> 00:09:00.879 but just not ourselves. Right now, we want to ex am and others, 98 00:09:01.559 --> 00:09:05.279 we want to pick them apart. And you're like this, and you're 99 00:09:05.360 --> 00:09:07.039 like that, and you're like this, and you're like that, which is 100 00:09:07.080 --> 00:09:11.600 so not healthy when it's a negative. But we don't want to do that 101 00:09:11.639 --> 00:09:16.200 to ourselves. Right, that's hard, that's much harder. That's the work, 102 00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:18.799 right, that's the real word. That's the real work. And that's 103 00:09:18.799 --> 00:09:22.879 what I was saying. When you're pointing fingers through, you're pointing right back 104 00:09:22.919 --> 00:09:26.159 at you, because it's saying, no, look looking look at you. 105 00:09:26.159 --> 00:09:28.039 You got some stuff to take care of. Yeah, you know, and 106 00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:31.879 we all do, we do, right, we all do. That's what 107 00:09:31.279 --> 00:09:35.639 you know. I think we need, you know, more of those type 108 00:09:35.639 --> 00:09:41.000 of conversations because like we need to take like a moment to reflect and be 109 00:09:41.159 --> 00:09:43.679 like, Okay, we need to do like, you know, sort of 110 00:09:43.720 --> 00:09:52.240 like a revision and review like everything that we've been thinking or perceiving, like 111 00:09:52.320 --> 00:09:56.759 are they accurate? You know? Like how the way that I see these 112 00:09:56.799 --> 00:10:01.720 people, because that's how they usually refer to people who are different. The 113 00:10:01.799 --> 00:10:05.879 way that I see these people is that, like you know, Willie, 114 00:10:05.039 --> 00:10:09.879 who they are? Yeah, And you you want to get that feedback from 115 00:10:09.879 --> 00:10:13.240 people you trust, people who've known you for a long period of time. 116 00:10:13.360 --> 00:10:16.000 That somebody you just met that's not cool, right because it's like you know, 117 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:20.639 that's that know, But you want to get that feedback from people that 118 00:10:20.679 --> 00:10:24.440 you know, who know you, who knows you? You you you you 119 00:10:24.480 --> 00:10:30.200 know typically people you live with or if not people you live with. People 120 00:10:30.240 --> 00:10:33.919 that like in a therapy session or something like that, somebody's gonna tell the 121 00:10:33.960 --> 00:10:39.000 truth. It's not trying to hurt you. You see a safe environment. 122 00:10:39.159 --> 00:10:41.639 We're not just trying to just pick you out. You know, I don't 123 00:10:41.679 --> 00:10:45.600 like when you do. You know, like nobody wants to hear a list 124 00:10:45.679 --> 00:10:48.080 run down to them about things. You don't like that and anyway, God 125 00:10:48.120 --> 00:10:50.960 does not deal with us like exactly. It's like, you know, when 126 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:58.000 you say something to someone to try to elevant dumb. It's called constructive criticism, 127 00:10:58.159 --> 00:11:01.559 yes, as opposed to just like glean criticism, where you criticizing the 128 00:11:01.679 --> 00:11:05.879 person just to hurt them, right, you know, the constructive criticism like 129 00:11:07.000 --> 00:11:11.279 it helps you to you know, learn about yourself and like do what needs 130 00:11:11.320 --> 00:11:15.360 to be done, whatever needs to be fixed, to be fixed, and 131 00:11:15.480 --> 00:11:18.960 take that time to be by yourself. I mean, I don't know that. 132 00:11:18.399 --> 00:11:22.360 I think in today's society, we really do not like to be by 133 00:11:22.399 --> 00:11:26.720 ourselves. We do not like to be in silent alone, without the phone, 134 00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:31.279 without distractions. It's like we feel nervous and jeddery. If we get 135 00:11:31.320 --> 00:11:35.159 into the habit of spending some time with self, like you mentioned, what 136 00:11:35.360 --> 00:11:39.600 is your internal compass? Right, you believed in something five years ago? 137 00:11:39.679 --> 00:11:45.120 Do you still believe in that cost? Does that cost still represent you? 138 00:11:45.120 --> 00:11:48.000 You? You you know, got the religion that you believe in from your 139 00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:54.720 parents. Does to still work with you? Right? You understand this perspective 140 00:11:54.759 --> 00:12:00.120 for the for your whole entire life because you lived through difficult experiences and you 141 00:12:00.159 --> 00:12:03.519 came through this you know, final thought, does this still ring with you? 142 00:12:03.679 --> 00:12:07.360 Right? Do you want to go separate a different route? So kind 143 00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:13.960 of taking that time to go inward to finding out what your internal compasses at 144 00:12:13.960 --> 00:12:18.240 the moment, and like you very well said, does it still hold true 145 00:12:18.360 --> 00:12:22.240 for you? That's true? And we're taught as believers as Christians, like 146 00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:26.000 you know, before we take communion. You know, let a man examine 147 00:12:26.080 --> 00:12:28.759 himself, right, okay, But that doesn't mean like you go around examining 148 00:12:28.840 --> 00:12:37.879 other people. Okay, yo self, yoself okay, And it might be 149 00:12:37.919 --> 00:12:41.000 things when you do itself and inventor. And here's the thing too, you 150 00:12:41.080 --> 00:12:45.360 don't want to beat yourself up. Right, We do take a self inventory, 151 00:12:45.519 --> 00:12:48.759 maybe things that we don't like, right, and guess what, it's 152 00:12:48.759 --> 00:12:52.000 okay, Okay, we're all growing, we're all learning. We all are 153 00:12:52.120 --> 00:12:54.600 learning, you know, especially when it concerns I'm not I don't want to 154 00:12:54.600 --> 00:12:58.720 give up to another team in another topic. But you know, especially when 155 00:12:58.720 --> 00:13:01.840 it concerns parents, and everyone has done it better than you, you know, 156 00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:09.360 and you kids, they all everyone wants to meantimes when they were a 157 00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:13.159 first time parent, they learned it for the first time. Right, So 158 00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:22.279 you're a parent, you know you learned Look he didn't. Not that you 159 00:13:22.279 --> 00:13:26.360 don't want it to be you know, you internalizing it and then becoming depressed 160 00:13:26.120 --> 00:13:31.559 because of what is being told to you. And you know that's so I'm 161 00:13:31.559 --> 00:13:35.720 so happy you brought that up, because, especially as as a parent, 162 00:13:35.320 --> 00:13:41.159 when somebody else wants to tell you how to parent your children and your situation 163 00:13:41.320 --> 00:13:46.960 is different from their situation, and then they're looking down on you. Why 164 00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:50.840 did you do Are you paying my bills? Are you taking care of my 165 00:13:50.919 --> 00:13:56.000 responsibilities? Do you have my present situation? Because if you had my situation, 166 00:13:56.039 --> 00:13:58.639 you probably would have been doing it the same way, right, right, 167 00:14:00.120 --> 00:14:03.679 So we need to be less judgmental. Oh, yeah, you know, 168 00:14:03.720 --> 00:14:07.759 and that's true in every area of life to be considerate, yea, 169 00:14:09.000 --> 00:14:11.879 especially when you're trying to work full time. Listen, Yeah, you're working 170 00:14:11.960 --> 00:14:16.519 full time and you're raising kids and you have you know, you have responsibilities. 171 00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:20.159 That's your life, isn't in there? You have other things that you're 172 00:14:20.200 --> 00:14:24.399 doing. It's like, please, absolutely, but we do have to learn 173 00:14:24.519 --> 00:14:28.879 to be more gracious to each other. And I'm talking to myself too, 174 00:14:28.159 --> 00:14:31.919 I know, you know, we have to be more gracious. It's like, 175 00:14:31.120 --> 00:14:33.960 I mean, I say it, I love but I'm definitely thinking of 176 00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:37.919 it, trust me. But it's good because we want to give more extent, 177 00:14:39.039 --> 00:14:41.759 more grades, you know, it's a little bit more grades, a 178 00:14:41.759 --> 00:14:46.039 little bit more grace because we don't always have it all together. Yeah you 179 00:14:46.080 --> 00:14:48.240 know. And then you know, especially and I know, I'm like, 180 00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:56.600 I'll be the leader of the peck. I might make it look good. 181 00:14:58.840 --> 00:15:03.960 It is not, that's true, Yeah, exactly. You know, um 182 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:07.360 talking about like, you know, being gracious. You know, we could 183 00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:09.840 do that, like, you know, both ways, you know, being 184 00:15:09.840 --> 00:15:15.600 gracious towards yourself and being gracious towards other people, you know, and and 185 00:15:15.679 --> 00:15:18.200 being able to do that. We can achieve you to be as well. 186 00:15:20.120 --> 00:15:24.600 Very true because like if you just like you know, willing to just see, 187 00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:28.960 like you know, put yourself in the other person's shoes as opposed to 188 00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:35.279 um criticizing them because they're doing it differently than the way you you right, 189 00:15:35.759 --> 00:15:39.679 So you know it's just like by just putting yourself in their shoes, you're 190 00:15:39.720 --> 00:15:45.960 like, okay, so if I were in that person's situation, Yeah, 191 00:15:45.960 --> 00:15:48.679 how would I handle it? Yeah, just like you know, doing that 192 00:15:48.960 --> 00:15:56.320 just like that small exercise. Absolutely, it's like priceless, doctor Louise, 193 00:15:56.360 --> 00:15:58.080 Like you said it. You can say for the people in the back, 194 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:07.559 different does not mean role. Oh yes, and that is wrong because it's 195 00:16:07.679 --> 00:16:11.120 different. And what I also heard you say is make allowances. So we 196 00:16:11.159 --> 00:16:15.399 want to make allowances for people and make to to learn and grow and figure 197 00:16:15.440 --> 00:16:18.600 it out. Right. You know, it's like it goes back to that 198 00:16:18.840 --> 00:16:26.879 like saying do unto others unto you. It's just like about you know, 199 00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:30.639 uh, if I were in their situation, I would want someone to be 200 00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:37.639 you know, patient or compassionate towards me, understanding or supportive as opposed to 201 00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:41.080 oh my gosh, like what did you do? You know? Absolutely, 202 00:16:41.159 --> 00:16:45.559 and so do unto others. You know, would as you being a doctor, 203 00:16:45.639 --> 00:16:52.159 I can I'm I love having your insight, you know, as a 204 00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:56.960 doctor, would you say that that is something that not that you encounter more? 205 00:16:56.960 --> 00:16:59.240 I won't go there, but I will say, was that something that 206 00:16:59.240 --> 00:17:03.240 you would say that a lot of people struggle with is what's been spoken to 207 00:17:03.319 --> 00:17:08.400 them much of their lives? Yes, definitely, And that's where you know, 208 00:17:08.519 --> 00:17:15.920 the brain shift happens, you know, and by hearing things like negative 209 00:17:17.000 --> 00:17:22.720 things about them, there is like, you know, something that in psychology 210 00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:29.240 we call um trauma brain because like you know, those things are like traumatic 211 00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:36.359 to hear, like you know, stuff that like makes you hurt so inside. 212 00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:45.119 It's dramatic, so you know, yeah, it does, yeah at 213 00:17:45.160 --> 00:17:49.559 all. Yeah, Yeah, it's that's so important because you when you think 214 00:17:49.599 --> 00:17:56.359 about those things, you know, it's it's so important to be careful what 215 00:17:56.400 --> 00:18:00.720 we're saying to another person. It hurts, you know, it hurts them 216 00:18:02.079 --> 00:18:04.400 to the point where it can hurt them physically, you know, or they 217 00:18:04.200 --> 00:18:08.480 want to hurt themselves because of what they believe about themselves. And you know 218 00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:12.480 the thing about this is like you know it just like you know, it's 219 00:18:12.480 --> 00:18:17.400 a domino effect, not only it, like you know, it hurts themselves, 220 00:18:17.880 --> 00:18:21.839 it starts festering and then like you know, it trickles down to their 221 00:18:21.839 --> 00:18:26.039 workplace and then like you know, society. And this is why we are 222 00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:30.680 where we are now. We are now because like it starts you know, 223 00:18:30.759 --> 00:18:34.000 within and then it just likes friends. So that's what they're saying, is 224 00:18:34.079 --> 00:18:37.720 you know, hurt people, hurt people. Yes, so it's like, 225 00:18:37.720 --> 00:18:40.680 well, we're hurt and then we hurt others, right, you know, 226 00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:45.519 it's because we are doing what we learned. We're we're displaying behavior that we've 227 00:18:45.559 --> 00:18:49.480 already learned, learned behavior, Yeah, learned behaviors. So would you say 228 00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:56.559 that all behaviors learned? Well, I mean like that's a good question, 229 00:18:56.759 --> 00:19:00.519 yeah, because like you know, we are just like you know how when 230 00:19:00.799 --> 00:19:04.839 little kids we often refer to them as sponges. Yeah, you know, 231 00:19:04.920 --> 00:19:10.680 they just like you know, learned from like experiences, things that they see, 232 00:19:10.759 --> 00:19:15.000 you know, even from afar we learn from that or you know, 233 00:19:15.079 --> 00:19:21.680 from experiences. Yeah, you know, so I think like most behaviors are 234 00:19:21.759 --> 00:19:26.400 learned, but you know they're thank God for you know the fact that we 235 00:19:26.480 --> 00:19:30.359 can rectify if there's like you know, a negative behaviors that are learned, 236 00:19:30.440 --> 00:19:33.680 we can rectify them. You know, we just have to be conscious about 237 00:19:33.720 --> 00:19:37.400 Its true and I apologize, I have a little bit of allergies. But 238 00:19:38.039 --> 00:19:41.440 m once we are conscious about it and we know about it, then we 239 00:19:41.480 --> 00:19:48.279 can start working to change to reprogram right. Doctor Joe Dispenser talks a lot 240 00:19:48.319 --> 00:19:52.279 about that how the brain works and how the brain is wired and when you 241 00:19:52.359 --> 00:19:56.319 make a connection for example, the brain, you know, you live something 242 00:19:56.319 --> 00:20:00.000 and it makes a connection with another you know, kind of thing that will 243 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.559 happened that is similar, and then it makes a connection with another one. 244 00:20:03.960 --> 00:20:07.079 But you can make the connection for the opposite side because it but it takes 245 00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:11.880 time. Yeah, it takes consciousness. You have to be aware of it, 246 00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:15.119 yes, exactly. It all starts with like you know, becoming aware, 247 00:20:15.400 --> 00:20:21.599 being mindful. Um. You know, there's like something called mindfulness that 248 00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:26.640 we use in in therapy where you know, you encourage like you know, 249 00:20:26.759 --> 00:20:33.519 the client to practice mindfulness you know, to be present and like you know, 250 00:20:33.599 --> 00:20:36.039 be aware because like a lot of the times, like you know, 251 00:20:36.119 --> 00:20:40.480 people we say things like you know without even thinking thinking, Yeah, we 252 00:20:40.559 --> 00:20:47.039 do things. So like mindfulness, it teaches you to be present, you 253 00:20:47.079 --> 00:20:49.920 know, be aware of like your actions, be aware of your words, 254 00:20:49.960 --> 00:20:55.240 because especially we know that words have power, yeah, you know, and 255 00:20:55.319 --> 00:21:03.319 so if we are conscious about those things, I think weekend and having empathy. 256 00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:07.559 Let's go back to that, because especially these days, you do not 257 00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:12.319 know what people are going you know. Let's take the example of Twitch, 258 00:21:12.519 --> 00:21:17.160 which I still remember him and I touched my heart. I'm like, God, 259 00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:21.839 we lost an angel, you know, um, And you could not 260 00:21:21.960 --> 00:21:26.680 tell that this man was depressed exactly. He was dancing happy. It looked 261 00:21:26.680 --> 00:21:32.119 like from the outside that he had the perfect life, his wife, his 262 00:21:32.240 --> 00:21:36.400 kids, his you know, his success, a successful career, and he 263 00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:41.480 was dying inside. So you got to be very careful with how you treat 264 00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:45.480 people and what you say, because you never know if they're like a thread 265 00:21:45.599 --> 00:21:52.920 away from hurting themselves or hurting other people or doing something like that exactly, 266 00:21:52.960 --> 00:21:56.920 because you can just like you know, you're that that word can be the 267 00:21:56.039 --> 00:22:02.799 last straw for the person who was like already struggling, you know. Um. 268 00:22:02.839 --> 00:22:08.240 Like I've had like you know, instances, like personal experiences where you 269 00:22:08.319 --> 00:22:14.480 know, people would inseniorate that, like I'm suffering because I don't prey enough, 270 00:22:15.480 --> 00:22:18.720 you know, but why do I still have paid? Maybe I'm not 271 00:22:18.759 --> 00:22:22.559 praying enough. Wow, And like you know, in the meantime, a 272 00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:25.759 lot of the times, like some of the people say that are people that 273 00:22:25.880 --> 00:22:29.599 like I'm going to get at two o'clock praying, you know, like listing 274 00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:33.920 them by name, and in the meantime they like, yeah, maybe you're 275 00:22:33.960 --> 00:22:37.480 not preying enough. Why you're judgmental, Maybe you're not praying enough. Say 276 00:22:37.519 --> 00:22:41.359 this. I mean, first of all, sorry for those ignorant posts. 277 00:22:41.480 --> 00:22:45.240 Right, let me just tell you something. All of us are guaranteed one 278 00:22:45.240 --> 00:22:48.680 thing in his life, and that's long suffering. That's right. We are 279 00:22:48.759 --> 00:22:53.640 not we're someone You're gonna go through some stuff. No one said this life 280 00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:57.799 was going to be a walk in the middle lifestyle. That's what we tell 281 00:22:57.799 --> 00:23:02.519 ourselves. That's what we There's certain people on TV say it's not the truth. 282 00:23:03.200 --> 00:23:06.920 Everybody's going through something, including the folks, the millionaire folks, and 283 00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:11.839 everybody's going through some stuff. Yeah exactly. Okay, Like when somebody is 284 00:23:11.880 --> 00:23:17.000 going through something already and for you to like say, okay, maybe you're 285 00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:23.279 not doing this enough, you're just like adding what you're dealing with that's it 286 00:23:23.359 --> 00:23:27.559 is ignorant. And the thing is is that see you destruct something right, 287 00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:40.960 Okay, it's it's it's also it's not because you don't have enough faith, 288 00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:44.000 because the Bible says that if you have the faith the size of a mustang 289 00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:47.960 seed, you can say to this mountain, be cast into the sea, 290 00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:52.880 okay now, and it will be cast into the sea. So so, 291 00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:55.279 okay, maybe I don't have enough, but I gotta lease this much, 292 00:23:55.599 --> 00:23:57.960 right, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta mustang seed enough. It's 293 00:23:57.960 --> 00:24:03.279 not about it's not a measure of your faith. It's not that that that 294 00:24:03.279 --> 00:24:08.359 that you will have pain some people. We all go through stuff, right, 295 00:24:08.839 --> 00:24:15.079 and your lot is this My lot is something else. But your lot, 296 00:24:15.279 --> 00:24:19.519 marliney is something else. So it doesn't mean that oh you're not you 297 00:24:19.559 --> 00:24:25.440 don't have enough faith, give me a break. It just means that that 298 00:24:25.519 --> 00:24:30.759 is your lot you across the carry throughout this life. And some people may 299 00:24:30.799 --> 00:24:33.680 carry it for the rest of their lives, or some people may carry it 300 00:24:33.720 --> 00:24:37.519 for a portion. But we all got stuff. I don't know a single 301 00:24:37.559 --> 00:24:41.359 person, I don't think, even if you have the money, name somebody 302 00:24:41.559 --> 00:24:47.400 who hasn't gone through something on this planet. I don't. Ye. Here's 303 00:24:47.440 --> 00:24:53.240 the thing too. So therefore the sinless son of God ostracized by folks talked 304 00:24:53.279 --> 00:24:59.440 about, spat on, beaten, crucified on across. You mean to tell 305 00:24:59.440 --> 00:25:07.799 me he didn't have have enough faith? Right? Absolutely, But but my 306 00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:12.559 question to that person would be who gave that person the god authority to even 307 00:25:12.680 --> 00:25:17.799 judge that and determined that right? How do you know what makes you the 308 00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:21.880 expert? That's the thing. We're such experts on everyone else's lives. Yeah, 309 00:25:22.920 --> 00:25:26.680 are you an expert of your own life? You know? Like no 310 00:25:26.799 --> 00:25:29.880 any thing is. And that's the thing I I And here's the thing I'm 311 00:25:29.920 --> 00:25:33.799 not. I seek expert advice from the Lord. I know I ain't got 312 00:25:33.799 --> 00:25:37.319 it all together. Like I said, I'll be the leader of the pet 313 00:25:37.359 --> 00:25:40.799 I promise you, because I know I don't have it all together and being 314 00:25:40.839 --> 00:25:44.119 and I know that, especially when we told my different aspects of life. 315 00:25:44.240 --> 00:25:47.920 There's no handbook to this thing. Every daily task, I don't know. 316 00:25:49.599 --> 00:25:57.000 I hold on to prayer. You don't know, you don't have I think 317 00:25:57.039 --> 00:26:00.640 like you know, it's just like you know, frocked s understanding, just 318 00:26:00.720 --> 00:26:07.160 like you know, be so more willing to be supportive than to like, 319 00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:15.240 uh, throw criticism, will suffer a situation that you don't understand, you 320 00:26:15.279 --> 00:26:21.480 know, because like it's like one thing for you to have gone through it. 321 00:26:22.079 --> 00:26:25.599 Like if you go through it, like I could like maybe like consider 322 00:26:25.680 --> 00:26:29.960 taking some advice from you because you're you know, but like if you have 323 00:26:30.200 --> 00:26:34.480 not been in the situation and you like, you know, suffering advice, 324 00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:38.720 like oh you should from the outside, right, man in the arena kind 325 00:26:38.720 --> 00:26:42.279 of woman in the arena. Yeah, I love that, you know, 326 00:26:42.440 --> 00:26:48.960 because it just expresses the importance of being in the arena when you're there, 327 00:26:48.039 --> 00:26:52.680 when you're you know, doing the fight, doing the thing, walking the 328 00:26:52.720 --> 00:26:56.759 walk, walking toward even if you're in pain, you're going through different things, 329 00:26:56.359 --> 00:27:00.359 but you are doing it. You're there, and you have much more 330 00:27:00.440 --> 00:27:07.400 power and say within that form than people that are outside just watching. Right. 331 00:27:07.839 --> 00:27:10.480 Let me let me just say this, So to me, I feel 332 00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:12.839 like you have more faith because you do it anyway. Absolutely, that's the 333 00:27:12.839 --> 00:27:18.440 thing. You This is a faithful walk right right. And so, um, 334 00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:22.160 when I was going through my stuff right, it lade me flat on 335 00:27:22.240 --> 00:27:26.480 my back. It was a challenge to just get out of bed in the 336 00:27:26.519 --> 00:27:30.359 morning. And so it was like it was easier to give up. That's 337 00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:33.240 the easy thing, the easy thing, the easy route, is to say 338 00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:36.160 you don't forget it, I'm done. But the fact that you keep coming 339 00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:38.559 back, I'm not. I'm not. When I'm looking at boxing, I 340 00:27:38.559 --> 00:27:44.000 don't know about people about boxing. I'm not looking at the one that's, 341 00:27:44.599 --> 00:27:48.599 you know, giving all the blows and doing well the entire fight. I'm 342 00:27:48.640 --> 00:27:52.000 looking at the one that's getting his butt cut kicked and then comes back because 343 00:27:52.039 --> 00:27:56.640 he didn't give up. That's the brick. That's the brother I'm looking right, 344 00:27:57.759 --> 00:28:02.240 show somebody that's gotten knocked down several times and coming back, right, 345 00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:04.319 that's the one I want to follow. And at the end of the day, 346 00:28:04.400 --> 00:28:08.160 let's talk about all the stories of success that we have what we know 347 00:28:08.319 --> 00:28:15.000 about, right you Always I love reading stories of success because there's not a 348 00:28:15.079 --> 00:28:19.759 story of success, of real success, of long lasting success that doesn't have 349 00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:23.920 those stories. They're kicking the butt stories, they're falling down stories, the 350 00:28:25.079 --> 00:28:30.680 failure stories they all do. And looking back, they're like, yeah, 351 00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:33.160 this is the time where I had this and this where I didn't have a 352 00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:37.400 dollar where I didn't and and they look at it with with pride because it 353 00:28:37.519 --> 00:28:41.799 made them. That's the grit that they owe. Yeah, yeah, you 354 00:28:41.839 --> 00:28:52.039 know what I mean. Oh yeah, absolutely, It's just about like how 355 00:28:52.240 --> 00:29:00.480 we like make the decision to just like start like seeing things, like you 356 00:29:00.519 --> 00:29:04.960 know, questioning things, challenging our thoughts and like challenging the way that we 357 00:29:06.119 --> 00:29:11.759 interact, you know, with others, you know, because like and I 358 00:29:11.759 --> 00:29:19.279 think one of you mentioned something in regards to being able to like not giving 359 00:29:19.319 --> 00:29:23.759 someone a chance just because of the way they look, and you might miss 360 00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:29.359 out on something amazing. Absolutely, you might meself on like you know, 361 00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:32.839 getting to know someone that like, you know, you could be like you 362 00:29:32.920 --> 00:29:37.119 know, not only learned from, but like a great connection, a great 363 00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:44.920 friendship, you know. And so I think we need to take a cause 364 00:29:45.640 --> 00:29:52.319 our world as society needs to take a pause to just like reflect, reevaluate, 365 00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:59.079 readjust realign and open your mindset open your you know, open yourself to 366 00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:03.000 a whole world old out there other than your own perspective, you know. 367 00:30:03.200 --> 00:30:07.799 And in knowing that nobody has the truth. There's not like one person that 368 00:30:07.960 --> 00:30:11.519 has the truth. There's no such thing. We're a puzzle. We're all 369 00:30:11.559 --> 00:30:17.240 part of that truth, right, So you know, opening our perspective and 370 00:30:17.279 --> 00:30:21.920 sharing the ability to say, I respect you as a human you know, 371 00:30:22.119 --> 00:30:25.599 regardless of your frame of mind, regardless of what you think of how you 372 00:30:25.640 --> 00:30:27.839 think. You're a human being just like I am, and I respect you 373 00:30:27.880 --> 00:30:30.920 because of it. Tell me why you think the way you do, what 374 00:30:32.039 --> 00:30:34.319 brought you there? Right, even if I don't, you know, and 375 00:30:34.359 --> 00:30:41.440 why I don't necessarily agree with you, but I respect you know, agree 376 00:30:41.519 --> 00:30:44.519 to disagree, Like you know, the idea that like, you know, 377 00:30:44.599 --> 00:30:48.559 I would lose a friend because of like you know, they have different views. 378 00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:52.079 I'm like, no, Like, there are some friendships that I have, 379 00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:56.599 Like I know that we don't have the same views on everything, but 380 00:30:56.640 --> 00:30:59.839 like I'm not gonna, like, you know, just like sacrifice that friendship, 381 00:31:00.119 --> 00:31:03.880 right because we don't have, like, you know, the exact same 382 00:31:03.960 --> 00:31:07.880 views on every single thing. Yeah, but you know what has happened in 383 00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:15.680 terms of specifically of the friendship. There is very little real deep friendship that 384 00:31:15.079 --> 00:31:23.559 were foster talking. Okay, that's the thing, because these Facebook friends are 385 00:31:23.640 --> 00:31:30.400 they really friends? Are you really connected? Are you really could you trust 386 00:31:30.480 --> 00:31:33.519 that person if you found yourself deserted in the island, can that person go 387 00:31:33.640 --> 00:31:37.720 rescue you? Right? My mama said, I ain't got no first when 388 00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:41.400 I was a kid, you don't have all the friends who think you had. 389 00:31:41.799 --> 00:31:45.759 She could not be more right. As an adult, you realize who 390 00:31:45.759 --> 00:31:48.799 are your friends. I'm talking about thick and thin yep, you know muck 391 00:31:48.880 --> 00:31:52.960 and mayer friends. Friends is gonna look in the face and tell you the 392 00:31:52.960 --> 00:31:59.400 truth right in love, okay exactly and not judge you. Yeah. Well, 393 00:31:59.440 --> 00:32:01.920 you know what, Like when I lost my husband, that was one 394 00:32:01.960 --> 00:32:07.279 of the things like that kind of like helps me. It helped me to 395 00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:13.720 see things like clearer in terms of like friends through like you know, true 396 00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:19.400 friends like where you know, when I was going through it, like they 397 00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:23.400 were like in it with me, you know, like you know I would 398 00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:27.200 like you know, I called, like you know when my friend Ali, 399 00:32:27.400 --> 00:32:30.039 like my friend Lucy or my friend Tamar, you know, you like going 400 00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:34.599 they found out, like they would be on the phone with me like I'm 401 00:32:34.640 --> 00:32:37.599 crying. They crying, you know, and it's like I'm like, you 402 00:32:37.640 --> 00:32:40.279 know what this is a friend? Like you know, it's like because the 403 00:32:40.319 --> 00:32:45.599 Bible says crying with those who are crying, and then like rejoice with those 404 00:32:45.640 --> 00:32:51.440 who are rejoicing. And you know, yes, so and like I understand, 405 00:32:51.519 --> 00:32:53.359 like this is like, you know, true friendship, like you know, 406 00:32:53.599 --> 00:33:00.799 the whole like social media friend like that's like superficial. Yeah, like 407 00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:04.480 that's I'm talking about, like true friendships, like the word. It's like, 408 00:33:04.559 --> 00:33:08.640 you know, those friendships, Like I'm not willing to give them up 409 00:33:08.759 --> 00:33:14.519 just because they have different views or I have different views than than they do. 410 00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:17.799 Yeah, you know, it's just like you know, nonsense to me, 411 00:33:19.559 --> 00:33:22.200 you know, because I think like we are more than just like you 412 00:33:22.240 --> 00:33:27.880 know, political views. You know, we are more than like uh just 413 00:33:27.920 --> 00:33:30.680 like you know, uh, the way we were brought up, because how 414 00:33:30.720 --> 00:33:37.400 we were brought up also in a place like a role in how we we 415 00:33:37.480 --> 00:33:44.880 are. So but I think we can learn to co exist absolutely, you 416 00:33:44.880 --> 00:33:50.240 know, in spite of like our differences. So what you're basically saying is 417 00:33:50.960 --> 00:34:00.079 we cannot use That's just the way I am as an absolutely taking the time 418 00:34:00.119 --> 00:34:05.839 to foster those real connections because like anything, um, it takes time, 419 00:34:06.079 --> 00:34:09.199 it takes effort, it takes you know, having a friendship, it's like 420 00:34:09.239 --> 00:34:13.599 having a relationship, a romantic It's the same kind of work that you have 421 00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:16.880 to put into right right, and if you want the benefits of having a 422 00:34:16.920 --> 00:34:22.840 real friendship, you also have to take the time to foster it like everything 423 00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:27.360 else, and that's I think in general and society and not necessarily sometimes because 424 00:34:27.360 --> 00:34:30.800 we don't want to, but we have to find that time. We were 425 00:34:30.840 --> 00:34:34.480 talking off the cameras, the importance of that support system, right, yeah, 426 00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:38.679 it's so important. It has its and like a lot of the times, 427 00:34:38.719 --> 00:34:44.880 like somebody is who's going through something, it doesn't necessarily you know, 428 00:34:44.960 --> 00:34:49.639 they don't necessarily need like for you to do something for them. They just 429 00:34:49.679 --> 00:34:54.559 need to know that you are there. You know. That's a world of 430 00:34:54.679 --> 00:34:58.920 different. Yes, it does. And that's the thing that would God would 431 00:34:58.920 --> 00:35:02.639 say to many folks in the Word of God, you know who were going 432 00:35:02.679 --> 00:35:07.000 through a tough time. You know, um Moses for instance, He's like, 433 00:35:07.039 --> 00:35:09.320 you know, what do I say? You know, who do I 434 00:35:09.360 --> 00:35:12.440 say? Sent me? And whatever else? He's like, oh yeah, 435 00:35:12.480 --> 00:35:15.159 yeah, He's like, and I'll be with you. I'll be with you 436 00:35:15.280 --> 00:35:19.960 everyone, you know, anyone. And they were talking about they had a 437 00:35:20.039 --> 00:35:23.079 task ahead of them. God was with them, he reminded, He canceled 438 00:35:23.079 --> 00:35:27.159 out the fear by reminding of his presence. And that's what we need to 439 00:35:27.199 --> 00:35:30.960 do. And it's not what Yeah, you're not alone. It's not about 440 00:35:30.039 --> 00:35:36.320 just even Jesus, okay, Lord, I am with you always even you 441 00:35:36.360 --> 00:35:39.280 know, he canceled out the fear. But let us know that we're in 442 00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:45.360 this fight together. Yeah together, yes, yeah, So that's the problem, 443 00:35:45.400 --> 00:35:49.480 you know, because like it's like, you know, me against you, 444 00:35:49.480 --> 00:35:52.639 you against me, as about Okay, let's just like, you know, 445 00:35:52.199 --> 00:35:57.679 join together and find a solution for the problem. You know, we 446 00:35:57.800 --> 00:36:00.719 might not have the same you know views, but like let's figure out something 447 00:36:00.760 --> 00:36:04.960 that won't work for all of us, right, yeah, as opposed to 448 00:36:05.039 --> 00:36:07.840 Okay, no, you have to see it my way, you have to 449 00:36:07.920 --> 00:36:10.760 do it my way, you know, and then it just like nothing gets 450 00:36:10.800 --> 00:36:15.960 resolved. Going back to the it takes a village, right, takes a 451 00:36:15.039 --> 00:36:21.159 village. Yeah, absolutely, I agree with that. I don't see villages 452 00:36:21.199 --> 00:36:29.679 too. Yes, yes, we know absolutely that support system. It's so 453 00:36:29.679 --> 00:36:34.599 crucial, right yeah. And so so we talked about like a number of 454 00:36:34.679 --> 00:36:39.000 things that we can do to achieve unity because that is something that is lacking 455 00:36:39.159 --> 00:36:44.679 right now, um, throughout the world. But you know, we are 456 00:36:44.760 --> 00:36:49.960 here in America and like we see it like in different forms, you know, 457 00:36:50.280 --> 00:36:54.400 it's like not only in politics, we see like kids being like killed 458 00:36:54.440 --> 00:37:00.119 before, you know, senselessly. Those are like the result of like the 459 00:37:00.199 --> 00:37:04.159 lack of unity where like you know, things that could have been done, 460 00:37:04.880 --> 00:37:08.519 um to uh, to fix the problem because like you know, the other 461 00:37:08.559 --> 00:37:13.480 side suggested it. So like you know, that side is like, no, 462 00:37:13.559 --> 00:37:15.440 we're not gonna do it because it's the other side that suggested it, 463 00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:20.360 as opposed to just like okay, let's like, you know, let's fix 464 00:37:20.480 --> 00:37:23.039 this. Yeah, you know, because a lot of the times things don't 465 00:37:23.039 --> 00:37:28.840 get fixed because the other side suggested it. And and well that brings something 466 00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:32.960 else to mind. Um, let's let's learn how to compromise, right right, 467 00:37:34.199 --> 00:37:38.199 Let's understand that maybe we're not going to get exactly everything go the way 468 00:37:38.480 --> 00:37:43.199 we want it, but let's learn how to compromise a little bit. You 469 00:37:43.239 --> 00:37:45.639 give, I give, and we have a happy medium, right, yeah, 470 00:37:45.800 --> 00:37:53.519 exactly exactly. That's something that we talked about a lot, is compromising 471 00:37:53.840 --> 00:38:01.960 with TV shows like he like my movies, my movies, like, yeah, 472 00:38:01.960 --> 00:38:07.639 a lifetime Like I'm definitely a lifetimer, you know, is more you 473 00:38:07.679 --> 00:38:13.039 know, action, you know, And so it's like, okay, we 474 00:38:13.159 --> 00:38:19.360 had a compromise always thrown around them. Yeah, you know that's the thing. 475 00:38:19.480 --> 00:38:24.639 It's like it goes compromising. It works with like within a marriage, 476 00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:30.719 but it also works in all relationships, you know, you know if we 477 00:38:30.159 --> 00:38:37.079 all learn to compromise with each other and compromising me accepting the other person, 478 00:38:37.239 --> 00:38:40.000 yeah for who they are, just seeing them as a human being, yes, 479 00:38:40.159 --> 00:38:44.000 you know, And you know it's just like you know, you might 480 00:38:44.039 --> 00:38:47.840 not agree with like their choice, like you know, the their lifestyle whatsoever, 481 00:38:49.480 --> 00:38:52.079 you know, but like just like accept them, see them as a 482 00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:57.239 human being. Yeah, and love them though, yeah you know. And 483 00:38:57.280 --> 00:39:00.000 that's like another thing that is like, you know, so imp and it 484 00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:06.480 feels like you know, it's it's being dreamed love. Yeah, you know, 485 00:39:06.559 --> 00:39:09.960 because I think like with love we can ach youse so much more. 486 00:39:10.280 --> 00:39:14.719 Yeah, you know, because like when you have love, there are certain 487 00:39:14.760 --> 00:39:19.199 things like you know, you're not you're gonna like get past them, yeah 488 00:39:19.360 --> 00:39:22.360 quicker, Yeah, and an unconditional way. And I know that's also been 489 00:39:22.400 --> 00:39:28.559 thrown out, but you know, not love only when you are doing what 490 00:39:28.639 --> 00:39:31.239 I say how I say it because I want it like that, you know, 491 00:39:31.440 --> 00:39:37.280 right right, you know, unconditional love where even if you you know, 492 00:39:37.840 --> 00:39:39.599 have a lifestyle that I don't agree with. You know what, as 493 00:39:39.599 --> 00:39:44.679 a human being I love, Yes, exactly. That's not gonna take away, 494 00:39:44.679 --> 00:39:46.719 like to take my love away from you just because you have a different 495 00:39:46.760 --> 00:39:52.320 lifestyle, because like you know, it should be unconditional. Yeah, definitely 496 00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:55.800 comes up a lot, especially this past month, um, you know, 497 00:39:57.280 --> 00:40:00.280 um, the month of June. It definitely came up a lot. The 498 00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:04.239 idea of loving everyone and you know, no matter what lifestyle they have, 499 00:40:04.320 --> 00:40:07.840 and something like that. And I'm like, there are people who think that 500 00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:12.519 because I hold to my religious beliefs, that means that I can't love other 501 00:40:12.519 --> 00:40:15.639 people who do not. And that cannot farther from the truth. You need 502 00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:22.039 something. Sure, I love you. I may not agree with you or 503 00:40:22.159 --> 00:40:25.199 that thing, but I love you. Yeah, for sure. For sure, 504 00:40:25.800 --> 00:40:30.079 that's the that's the part of me that I cannot deny. Like I 505 00:40:30.199 --> 00:40:32.599 mean, I don't have to agree with you. You don't have to agree 506 00:40:32.599 --> 00:40:36.519 with me. I'm not asking you to be a Christian now. If you 507 00:40:36.559 --> 00:40:37.679 want to learn about it, I'd be happy to talk to you about it, 508 00:40:37.679 --> 00:40:40.000 but you don't have to. I'm not gonna force it down your throat. 509 00:40:40.199 --> 00:40:46.599 Yeah, exactly, It's like it's so uh interesting when people say stuff 510 00:40:46.639 --> 00:40:51.480 like that because like and they cleaving, Oh yeah, because like you know, 511 00:40:51.800 --> 00:40:54.320 we like, you know, I am this religion, I'm not. 512 00:40:54.760 --> 00:41:00.559 But like like for us, like Christians, you know, we like you 513 00:41:00.599 --> 00:41:04.679 know, jess like were supposed to be following like you know what Jesus says. 514 00:41:04.719 --> 00:41:07.559 And Jesus he was not like, you know, one of those people 515 00:41:07.159 --> 00:41:12.360 like what we would call kind of you know, stand up fish. Oh 516 00:41:12.480 --> 00:41:19.400 yeah, you don't, you know, you have a different lifestyle. When 517 00:41:19.480 --> 00:41:22.559 Jesus was here, he didn't do that. Like he was like you know, 518 00:41:22.559 --> 00:41:27.840 uh, you know, connecting, interacting with like people different lifestyle, 519 00:41:28.119 --> 00:41:31.480 and they like, you know, even like you know, the the Pharisees, 520 00:41:31.559 --> 00:41:37.320 the religious quote unquote religious people, like they even criticized them for that 521 00:41:37.639 --> 00:41:42.800 because they thought, like, oh my goodness, why are you like, 522 00:41:42.880 --> 00:41:49.960 you know, talking to this person. Jesus was not on top of the 523 00:41:50.039 --> 00:41:53.480 folks who did not follow him like that. He was on top of the 524 00:41:53.559 --> 00:41:57.360 religious leaders. Those are the ones who had he had a problem with, 525 00:41:57.400 --> 00:42:01.119 the ones who claimed holdiness yeah but didn't live that way. Yeah, those 526 00:42:01.159 --> 00:42:05.559 are the folks had a problem with. Not the poems that weren't Christians. 527 00:42:06.159 --> 00:42:08.719 Yeah, and that's why I'm saying, like, you know, if we 528 00:42:08.840 --> 00:42:15.679 have love, love can conquer everything, because like, when you have love, 529 00:42:15.880 --> 00:42:20.519 you're gonna learn to just like be okay, you know what, I 530 00:42:20.639 --> 00:42:25.920 love you anyway, you know, and like nothing that you can do will 531 00:42:25.960 --> 00:42:30.199 stop me from loving you. And and to that point, I mean, 532 00:42:30.360 --> 00:42:37.480 I mean we can talk about this literally, there's so many legs to this, 533 00:42:37.639 --> 00:42:42.039 right, But I think part of the problem is a lot of people 534 00:42:42.159 --> 00:42:45.880 have not experienced the feeling of love, the feeling of being loved, right, 535 00:42:46.360 --> 00:42:51.280 So, because we are lacking that a lot in society. And and 536 00:42:51.440 --> 00:42:55.599 when you have trauma, when you're growing up in an unhealthy environment, you 537 00:42:55.639 --> 00:43:00.880 don't know what love is, how it feels. So you make a good, 538 00:43:01.239 --> 00:43:06.079 good point about that, because like when you go through trauma and then 539 00:43:06.159 --> 00:43:08.440 you don't know what love is, when somebody is like, you know, 540 00:43:08.800 --> 00:43:14.320 giving it to you, you might be on the defensive, yeah, because 541 00:43:14.360 --> 00:43:20.199 like it doesn't feel right to you because your brain has been rewired to think, 542 00:43:20.280 --> 00:43:22.920 like, you know, to be like on the alert all the time. 543 00:43:22.199 --> 00:43:27.760 So when you receive true love, you might be like, yeah, 544 00:43:27.800 --> 00:43:31.400 what do you want? Right? You know why are why are you giving? 545 00:43:32.679 --> 00:43:42.079 Yeah, absolutely, so maybe surrounding yourself with the community and people. 546 00:43:42.239 --> 00:43:45.760 The people you surround yourself with in a day today basis will have a lot 547 00:43:45.760 --> 00:43:50.679 of influence over you know, how you see things and and the things you 548 00:43:50.760 --> 00:43:54.480 do. So surrounding yourself with people that you that are in a way well 549 00:43:54.639 --> 00:44:00.320 rounded in that sense and can offer real, authentic, you know, love 550 00:44:00.360 --> 00:44:05.679 and care, that's important. Definitely, definitely. So we talked about love 551 00:44:06.159 --> 00:44:15.039 right yeah, um, you know, so communication right, compromisingly. Yeah, 552 00:44:15.079 --> 00:44:19.639 and then like changing our way of thinking or challenging them, you know, 553 00:44:19.800 --> 00:44:24.920 and that's looking inward. Yeah right, yes, say it again, 554 00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:31.480 say it again. Yeah, you know. So it's important because like if 555 00:44:31.480 --> 00:44:36.719 we don't like, you know, go into that moment of like you know, 556 00:44:37.599 --> 00:44:43.199 self inventory where we just like, okay, let's just like, you 557 00:44:43.239 --> 00:44:46.760 know, do a review, it's like, you know, we're just not 558 00:44:47.000 --> 00:44:52.960 We're just gonna keep going further and further into that abyss. Yeah. Yeah, 559 00:44:52.000 --> 00:44:57.800 And it's important to say that you you do an introspection today, that 560 00:44:57.840 --> 00:45:01.519 doesn't mean that you're done. This is a life love on process. Yeah, 561 00:45:01.559 --> 00:45:07.679 it's you're a lifelong work of art, continuously changing, evolving, shifting 562 00:45:08.000 --> 00:45:13.559 and constantly you have to do that, you know that inventory. Yeah, 563 00:45:13.599 --> 00:45:17.519 absolutely exactly. So yeah did we did. I haven't forget anything else. 564 00:45:17.599 --> 00:45:24.280 I think we I think we covered it pretty good. Yeah yeah, so 565 00:45:24.400 --> 00:45:29.679 yeah, so maybe we'll revisit that topic because I think we need to keep 566 00:45:29.760 --> 00:45:34.679 hearing talk, keep talking about it this way, you know, until we 567 00:45:34.920 --> 00:45:37.960 get to where we need to to get to. This was nice hosting with 568 00:45:38.000 --> 00:45:42.519 you guys, ladies. I mean, like, it's fun talking and having 569 00:45:42.519 --> 00:45:49.199 a conversation with you. It's just like totally yes, it's productive. And 570 00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:57.519 we killed two birds with one star. So yeah, so I hope that 571 00:45:58.119 --> 00:46:00.880 the audience got something. I'm sure got something out of it, and it's 572 00:46:00.880 --> 00:46:07.480 something that, um, you all can continue within your family, within your 573 00:46:07.519 --> 00:46:10.639 friends. Uh you know with your friends, you know when you are getting 574 00:46:10.679 --> 00:46:16.800 together, because if we keep talking about it, like we will get a 575 00:46:16.920 --> 00:46:22.760 chance to reflect more on absolutely and that's when the change will take place. 576 00:46:22.599 --> 00:46:30.639 So yeah, so keep the conversations going with your loved ones everyone, and 577 00:46:30.880 --> 00:46:44.039 thank you again, ladies. Thank you Cristal Ults. What's your h savvy? 578 00:46:45.239 --> 00:46:50.079 You have a website. We're working on the website, but yeah, 579 00:46:50.159 --> 00:46:55.039 you can catch for you on Instagram TikTok and Crystal Wallace on Facebook that kind 580 00:46:55.039 --> 00:47:02.119 of covered moves. Yeah, okay, yes, thank you Chris, thank 581 00:47:02.159 --> 00:47:07.920 you. I have to, like, you know, remember to say your 582 00:47:15.320 --> 00:47:20.960 yeah, that's why I said. Chrystal Wallace, yea, thank you so 583 00:47:21.079 --> 00:47:23.360 much for our lady. Thank you. You know, guys, where to 584 00:47:23.400 --> 00:47:30.639 find us that SOS Radio dot Live every single Sunday and if you want to 585 00:47:30.880 --> 00:47:34.679 like, you know, recap on like you know, watch rewatch some videos 586 00:47:34.760 --> 00:47:37.599 some of the shows. You know, you could go on the same page, 587 00:47:37.679 --> 00:47:43.079 right, Yes, Radio dot Live on videos on demand. Yes, 588 00:47:43.679 --> 00:47:47.559 so yeah, you can just like check it out anytime, anytime of day 589 00:47:47.639 --> 00:47:52.320 or night, you know. And so thank you everyone so much for tuning 590 00:47:52.360 --> 00:47:59.880 in, and thank you again for your support for um Um the religious listener 591 00:48:00.360 --> 00:48:05.559 who they always like by religious, i'd be like regular, you know, 592 00:48:05.880 --> 00:48:12.320 always like log in. I thank you so much for your support and have 593 00:48:12.480 --> 00:48:15.559 a great one. I'm your host, doctor Louise, will run Mac and 594 00:48:15.639 --> 00:48:30.239 Louso. We'll see you next time. Bye, hope for today's show with 595 00:48:30.400 --> 00:48:34.440 your host Louise Bobron Macaluso