Hope for Today's show with your host Louise Boobron Macaluso. Hi, everyone,
welcome to Hope for Today. We are back with our continuation to our second
installment of our conversation about unity, something that we really need. So hey
mar lady, Hi Louise, Hey guys, soll everybody, thank you for
having me again. I think we are keeping you so yo, We're back
continuing continuing our conversation on unity. Also last week we were talking about how
um the stemps that need to be taken in order for us to achieve unity
and um I mentioned, you know, our way of perceiving, how we
think, because like I think it starts with UM. A way of thinking
about each other plays a major role. And you know how we interact,
you know, because like if you see me in a good light, we're
gonna have like you know, a good connection and things will flow. But
like there's like you know, any kind of um like you know, negative
like you know, negative perception, negative perceive perceptions about like you know,
the other person. There's it's true to create you know, friction and division
absolutely, and then you start to communicate from that mindset. Yeah, there's
nothing that that person can ever say that can get you to say I agree,
because now you you're thinking negatively completely about exactly. You know how sometimes
like you know, people would say, you know, it's like you meet
someone and then as soon as they see you, like somehow they don't like
you. You don't have to do anything, but somehow they don't like you.
And so from that perspective, like there's nothing you could give them the
world and they would still not like you. They would like not agree with
anything you have to say whatsoever, because they made up their mind that like,
yeah, something about her, you know, rubs me the wrong way.
And that's about it. Well, well, doctor, I just want
to back up a little bit because last last week you you mentioned the last
segment you mentioned cognitive free program. Yeah, can you tell us from a
doctor standpoint from you know, what is it actually we mean and how do
we do it? Yeah? What a great question? Yeah, yeah right
right. So yeah, so committing framing um, we usually um when we
have something happened to us in the past, like fast experiences. So for
instance, you know, we've heard about nature versus nurture. Our environment play
a major role in how we, you know, become who we are how
we think, how we behave, how we interact with other people, and
so that also can involve trauma, you know, and trauma can it's not
just like you know, being involved in an accident or something like that.
Trauma can be being raised in a home way. And there's no stability that
can consist trauma for a child, you know, because they don't know like,
you know, am I gonna be fed today? As like you know,
mom gonna like you know, scream at me or you know, spake
me or be mad at me? Or is that gonna be drunk today?
And just like rache War, you know, rache Tower and that in the
home. So that's trauma. And so those things play a role in our
brain. You know, there's like a way that like if we shift our
original way of seeing and perceiving things, perceiving people, perceiving life in general
and so um and from that perspective, you know, I think that's where
um stuff like racism, negative perceptions like you know, rudeness come into play
because of like things that were learned, and so cognitive reframing it works in
terms of like learning to become aware of those views and challenging them. You
know because like sometimes, like you know, we have like thoughts like and
then we automatically accept them as though it's like the reality, but we can
actually challenge the thoughts. So and reframing your thoughts like you challenge. The
first step is challenging them and be like is that really true? And like
you know, you could say because like sometimes like if somebody has like a
negative perception about themselves, even you could just say no, I don't think
that's true, and you say the opposite. So you start reframing your way
of like seeing of thinking about yourself. And so that's how cognitive reframing work.
And it also works in terms of like not only like just challenging the
thoughts, but also to just like claim the opposite of them and saying it
out loud. There's like such power, you know how, like you know,
the Bible says, you know, the power of life and death is
in our tongue. You know, soever you declare it will come to pass.
So like declaring things out loud, it works because like your brain hears
it as well, and your brain conforms to it. Okay, time out,
I'm sorry, I did not know that was a thing, Like,
oh I know that it's a thing in the Bible, and I know that
it's an actual thing in reality, but I did not know that that is
like that study of the brain, it's actually uh an actual methodology or there's
a science behind science. It's like everything, like you know when I um
talk about that, whether it's like a speaking engagement or you know, with
a like with the efficient one on one like oh my gosh, I didn't
realize, you know, And because it's like so powerful, And that's why
I love psychology, you know, because like we are such you know,
fascinating beings and to think that like you know, by speaking and um.
The way you can understand that is, you know, how when someone is
abused, when like you know, especially verbal abuse, where they keep hearing
negative stuff about themselves. Oh you are like you know you ugly, you
know you so you so this, you know you you're not going to amount
to anything. So they keep hearing that, so their brain registers it and
they start internalizing it and it becomes like a reality to those and they identify
with it eventually because like you know, because they hear it so often.
So we could use that in a positive, you know way, where we
h say positive things, and it's sort of like you send a message to
your breaing, yeah, telling you a breath. This is like, this
is what we are going with now, and the power, the power of
what you're saying, and basically is that at the end of the day,
regardless of how much pain and trauma you have gone through, you don't have
to sit in the victim role. You can take charge and say I'm going
to pre program. And of course it's difficult. The most difficult thing for
a human being is to go inward right to right, to see your the
truth of you, of your good and bad, of your emotions, of
why and go deep in because it hurts, right because they're so deeply rooted
and and you're gonna have to relive that in a way. But it's also
very powerful because it gives you back the power. Yeah, right exactly,
because typically we have the tendency to do that to other people, right,
but just not ourselves. Right now, we want to ex am and others,
we want to pick them apart. And you're like this, and you're
like that, and you're like this, and you're like that, which is
so not healthy when it's a negative. But we don't want to do that
to ourselves. Right, that's hard, that's much harder. That's the work,
right, that's the real word. That's the real work. And that's
what I was saying. When you're pointing fingers through, you're pointing right back
at you, because it's saying, no, look looking look at you.
You got some stuff to take care of. Yeah, you know, and
we all do, we do, right, we all do. That's what
you know. I think we need, you know, more of those type
of conversations because like we need to take like a moment to reflect and be
like, Okay, we need to do like, you know, sort of
like a revision and review like everything that we've been thinking or perceiving, like
are they accurate? You know? Like how the way that I see these
people, because that's how they usually refer to people who are different. The
way that I see these people is that, like you know, Willie,
who they are? Yeah, And you you want to get that feedback from
people you trust, people who've known you for a long period of time.
That somebody you just met that's not cool, right because it's like you know,
that's that know, But you want to get that feedback from people that
you know, who know you, who knows you? You you you you
know typically people you live with or if not people you live with. People
that like in a therapy session or something like that, somebody's gonna tell the
truth. It's not trying to hurt you. You see a safe environment.
We're not just trying to just pick you out. You know, I don't
like when you do. You know, like nobody wants to hear a list
run down to them about things. You don't like that and anyway, God
does not deal with us like exactly. It's like, you know, when
you say something to someone to try to elevant dumb. It's called constructive criticism,
yes, as opposed to just like glean criticism, where you criticizing the
person just to hurt them, right, you know, the constructive criticism like
it helps you to you know, learn about yourself and like do what needs
to be done, whatever needs to be fixed, to be fixed, and
take that time to be by yourself. I mean, I don't know that.
I think in today's society, we really do not like to be by
ourselves. We do not like to be in silent alone, without the phone,
without distractions. It's like we feel nervous and jeddery. If we get
into the habit of spending some time with self, like you mentioned, what
is your internal compass? Right, you believed in something five years ago?
Do you still believe in that cost? Does that cost still represent you?
You? You you know, got the religion that you believe in from your
parents. Does to still work with you? Right? You understand this perspective
for the for your whole entire life because you lived through difficult experiences and you
came through this you know, final thought, does this still ring with you?
Right? Do you want to go separate a different route? So kind
of taking that time to go inward to finding out what your internal compasses at
the moment, and like you very well said, does it still hold true
for you? That's true? And we're taught as believers as Christians, like
you know, before we take communion. You know, let a man examine
himself, right, okay, But that doesn't mean like you go around examining
other people. Okay, yo self, yoself okay, And it might be
things when you do itself and inventor. And here's the thing too, you
don't want to beat yourself up. Right, We do take a self inventory,
maybe things that we don't like, right, and guess what, it's
okay, Okay, we're all growing, we're all learning. We all are
learning, you know, especially when it concerns I'm not I don't want to
give up to another team in another topic. But you know, especially when
it concerns parents, and everyone has done it better than you, you know,
and you kids, they all everyone wants to meantimes when they were a
first time parent, they learned it for the first time. Right, So
you're a parent, you know you learned Look he didn't. Not that you
don't want it to be you know, you internalizing it and then becoming depressed
because of what is being told to you. And you know that's so I'm
so happy you brought that up, because, especially as as a parent,
when somebody else wants to tell you how to parent your children and your situation
is different from their situation, and then they're looking down on you. Why
did you do Are you paying my bills? Are you taking care of my
responsibilities? Do you have my present situation? Because if you had my situation,
you probably would have been doing it the same way, right, right,
So we need to be less judgmental. Oh, yeah, you know,
and that's true in every area of life to be considerate, yea,
especially when you're trying to work full time. Listen, Yeah, you're working
full time and you're raising kids and you have you know, you have responsibilities.
That's your life, isn't in there? You have other things that you're
doing. It's like, please, absolutely, but we do have to learn
to be more gracious to each other. And I'm talking to myself too,
I know, you know, we have to be more gracious. It's like,
I mean, I say it, I love but I'm definitely thinking of
it, trust me. But it's good because we want to give more extent,
more grades, you know, it's a little bit more grades, a
little bit more grace because we don't always have it all together. Yeah you
know. And then you know, especially and I know, I'm like,
I'll be the leader of the peck. I might make it look good.
It is not, that's true, Yeah, exactly. You know, um
talking about like, you know, being gracious. You know, we could
do that, like, you know, both ways, you know, being
gracious towards yourself and being gracious towards other people, you know, and and
being able to do that. We can achieve you to be as well.
Very true because like if you just like you know, willing to just see,
like you know, put yourself in the other person's shoes as opposed to
um criticizing them because they're doing it differently than the way you you right,
So you know it's just like by just putting yourself in their shoes, you're
like, okay, so if I were in that person's situation, Yeah,
how would I handle it? Yeah, just like you know, doing that
just like that small exercise. Absolutely, it's like priceless, doctor Louise,
Like you said it. You can say for the people in the back,
different does not mean role. Oh yes, and that is wrong because it's
different. And what I also heard you say is make allowances. So we
want to make allowances for people and make to to learn and grow and figure
it out. Right. You know, it's like it goes back to that
like saying do unto others unto you. It's just like about you know,
uh, if I were in their situation, I would want someone to be
you know, patient or compassionate towards me, understanding or supportive as opposed to
oh my gosh, like what did you do? You know? Absolutely,
and so do unto others. You know, would as you being a doctor,
I can I'm I love having your insight, you know, as a
doctor, would you say that that is something that not that you encounter more?
I won't go there, but I will say, was that something that
you would say that a lot of people struggle with is what's been spoken to
them much of their lives? Yes, definitely, And that's where you know,
the brain shift happens, you know, and by hearing things like negative
things about them, there is like, you know, something that in psychology
we call um trauma brain because like you know, those things are like traumatic
to hear, like you know, stuff that like makes you hurt so inside.
It's dramatic, so you know, yeah, it does, yeah at
all. Yeah, Yeah, it's that's so important because you when you think
about those things, you know, it's it's so important to be careful what
we're saying to another person. It hurts, you know, it hurts them
to the point where it can hurt them physically, you know, or they
want to hurt themselves because of what they believe about themselves. And you know
the thing about this is like you know it just like you know, it's
a domino effect, not only it, like you know, it hurts themselves,
it starts festering and then like you know, it trickles down to their
workplace and then like you know, society. And this is why we are
where we are now. We are now because like it starts you know,
within and then it just likes friends. So that's what they're saying, is
you know, hurt people, hurt people. Yes, so it's like,
well, we're hurt and then we hurt others, right, you know,
it's because we are doing what we learned. We're we're displaying behavior that we've
already learned, learned behavior, Yeah, learned behaviors. So would you say
that all behaviors learned? Well, I mean like that's a good question,
yeah, because like you know, we are just like you know how when
little kids we often refer to them as sponges. Yeah, you know,
they just like you know, learned from like experiences, things that they see,
you know, even from afar we learn from that or you know,
from experiences. Yeah, you know, so I think like most behaviors are
learned, but you know they're thank God for you know the fact that we
can rectify if there's like you know, a negative behaviors that are learned,
we can rectify them. You know, we just have to be conscious about
Its true and I apologize, I have a little bit of allergies. But
m once we are conscious about it and we know about it, then we
can start working to change to reprogram right. Doctor Joe Dispenser talks a lot
about that how the brain works and how the brain is wired and when you
make a connection for example, the brain, you know, you live something
and it makes a connection with another you know, kind of thing that will
happened that is similar, and then it makes a connection with another one.
But you can make the connection for the opposite side because it but it takes
time. Yeah, it takes consciousness. You have to be aware of it,
yes, exactly. It all starts with like you know, becoming aware,
being mindful. Um. You know, there's like something called mindfulness that
we use in in therapy where you know, you encourage like you know,
the client to practice mindfulness you know, to be present and like you know,
be aware because like a lot of the times, like you know,
people we say things like you know without even thinking thinking, Yeah, we
do things. So like mindfulness, it teaches you to be present, you
know, be aware of like your actions, be aware of your words,
because especially we know that words have power, yeah, you know, and
so if we are conscious about those things, I think weekend and having empathy.
Let's go back to that, because especially these days, you do not
know what people are going you know. Let's take the example of Twitch,
which I still remember him and I touched my heart. I'm like, God,
we lost an angel, you know, um, And you could not
tell that this man was depressed exactly. He was dancing happy. It looked
like from the outside that he had the perfect life, his wife, his
kids, his you know, his success, a successful career, and he
was dying inside. So you got to be very careful with how you treat
people and what you say, because you never know if they're like a thread
away from hurting themselves or hurting other people or doing something like that exactly,
because you can just like you know, you're that that word can be the
last straw for the person who was like already struggling, you know. Um.
Like I've had like you know, instances, like personal experiences where you
know, people would inseniorate that, like I'm suffering because I don't prey enough,
you know, but why do I still have paid? Maybe I'm not
praying enough. Wow, And like you know, in the meantime, a
lot of the times, like some of the people say that are people that
like I'm going to get at two o'clock praying, you know, like listing
them by name, and in the meantime they like, yeah, maybe you're
not preying enough. Why you're judgmental, Maybe you're not praying enough. Say
this. I mean, first of all, sorry for those ignorant posts.
Right, let me just tell you something. All of us are guaranteed one
thing in his life, and that's long suffering. That's right. We are
not we're someone You're gonna go through some stuff. No one said this life
was going to be a walk in the middle lifestyle. That's what we tell
ourselves. That's what we There's certain people on TV say it's not the truth.
Everybody's going through something, including the folks, the millionaire folks, and
everybody's going through some stuff. Yeah exactly. Okay, Like when somebody is
going through something already and for you to like say, okay, maybe you're
not doing this enough, you're just like adding what you're dealing with that's it
is ignorant. And the thing is is that see you destruct something right,
Okay, it's it's it's also it's not because you don't have enough faith,
because the Bible says that if you have the faith the size of a mustang
seed, you can say to this mountain, be cast into the sea,
okay now, and it will be cast into the sea. So so,
okay, maybe I don't have enough, but I gotta lease this much,
right, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta mustang seed enough. It's
not about it's not a measure of your faith. It's not that that that
that you will have pain some people. We all go through stuff, right,
and your lot is this My lot is something else. But your lot,
marliney is something else. So it doesn't mean that oh you're not you
don't have enough faith, give me a break. It just means that that
is your lot you across the carry throughout this life. And some people may
carry it for the rest of their lives, or some people may carry it
for a portion. But we all got stuff. I don't know a single
person, I don't think, even if you have the money, name somebody
who hasn't gone through something on this planet. I don't. Ye. Here's
the thing too. So therefore the sinless son of God ostracized by folks talked
about, spat on, beaten, crucified on across. You mean to tell
me he didn't have have enough faith? Right? Absolutely, But but my
question to that person would be who gave that person the god authority to even
judge that and determined that right? How do you know what makes you the
expert? That's the thing. We're such experts on everyone else's lives. Yeah,
are you an expert of your own life? You know? Like no
any thing is. And that's the thing I I And here's the thing I'm
not. I seek expert advice from the Lord. I know I ain't got
it all together. Like I said, I'll be the leader of the pet
I promise you, because I know I don't have it all together and being
and I know that, especially when we told my different aspects of life.
There's no handbook to this thing. Every daily task, I don't know.
I hold on to prayer. You don't know, you don't have I think
like you know, it's just like you know, frocked s understanding, just
like you know, be so more willing to be supportive than to like,
uh, throw criticism, will suffer a situation that you don't understand, you
know, because like it's like one thing for you to have gone through it.
Like if you go through it, like I could like maybe like consider
taking some advice from you because you're you know, but like if you have
not been in the situation and you like, you know, suffering advice,
like oh you should from the outside, right, man in the arena kind
of woman in the arena. Yeah, I love that, you know,
because it just expresses the importance of being in the arena when you're there,
when you're you know, doing the fight, doing the thing, walking the
walk, walking toward even if you're in pain, you're going through different things,
but you are doing it. You're there, and you have much more
power and say within that form than people that are outside just watching. Right.
Let me let me just say this, So to me, I feel
like you have more faith because you do it anyway. Absolutely, that's the
thing. You This is a faithful walk right right. And so, um,
when I was going through my stuff right, it lade me flat on
my back. It was a challenge to just get out of bed in the
morning. And so it was like it was easier to give up. That's
the easy thing, the easy thing, the easy route, is to say
you don't forget it, I'm done. But the fact that you keep coming
back, I'm not. I'm not. When I'm looking at boxing, I
don't know about people about boxing. I'm not looking at the one that's,
you know, giving all the blows and doing well the entire fight. I'm
looking at the one that's getting his butt cut kicked and then comes back because
he didn't give up. That's the brick. That's the brother I'm looking right,
show somebody that's gotten knocked down several times and coming back, right,
that's the one I want to follow. And at the end of the day,
let's talk about all the stories of success that we have what we know
about, right you Always I love reading stories of success because there's not a
story of success, of real success, of long lasting success that doesn't have
those stories. They're kicking the butt stories, they're falling down stories, the
failure stories they all do. And looking back, they're like, yeah,
this is the time where I had this and this where I didn't have a
dollar where I didn't and and they look at it with with pride because it
made them. That's the grit that they owe. Yeah, yeah, you
know what I mean. Oh yeah, absolutely, It's just about like how
we like make the decision to just like start like seeing things, like you
know, questioning things, challenging our thoughts and like challenging the way that we
interact, you know, with others, you know, because like and I
think one of you mentioned something in regards to being able to like not giving
someone a chance just because of the way they look, and you might miss
out on something amazing. Absolutely, you might meself on like you know,
getting to know someone that like, you know, you could be like you
know, not only learned from, but like a great connection, a great
friendship, you know. And so I think we need to take a cause
our world as society needs to take a pause to just like reflect, reevaluate,
readjust realign and open your mindset open your you know, open yourself to
a whole world old out there other than your own perspective, you know.
And in knowing that nobody has the truth. There's not like one person that
has the truth. There's no such thing. We're a puzzle. We're all
part of that truth, right, So you know, opening our perspective and
sharing the ability to say, I respect you as a human you know,
regardless of your frame of mind, regardless of what you think of how you
think. You're a human being just like I am, and I respect you
because of it. Tell me why you think the way you do, what
brought you there? Right, even if I don't, you know, and
why I don't necessarily agree with you, but I respect you know, agree
to disagree, Like you know, the idea that like, you know,
I would lose a friend because of like you know, they have different views.
I'm like, no, Like, there are some friendships that I have,
Like I know that we don't have the same views on everything, but
like I'm not gonna, like, you know, just like sacrifice that friendship,
right because we don't have, like, you know, the exact same
views on every single thing. Yeah, but you know what has happened in
terms of specifically of the friendship. There is very little real deep friendship that
were foster talking. Okay, that's the thing, because these Facebook friends are
they really friends? Are you really connected? Are you really could you trust
that person if you found yourself deserted in the island, can that person go
rescue you? Right? My mama said, I ain't got no first when
I was a kid, you don't have all the friends who think you had.
She could not be more right. As an adult, you realize who
are your friends. I'm talking about thick and thin yep, you know muck
and mayer friends. Friends is gonna look in the face and tell you the
truth right in love, okay exactly and not judge you. Yeah. Well,
you know what, Like when I lost my husband, that was one
of the things like that kind of like helps me. It helped me to
see things like clearer in terms of like friends through like you know, true
friends like where you know, when I was going through it, like they
were like in it with me, you know, like you know I would
like you know, I called, like you know when my friend Ali,
like my friend Lucy or my friend Tamar, you know, you like going
they found out, like they would be on the phone with me like I'm
crying. They crying, you know, and it's like I'm like, you
know what this is a friend? Like you know, it's like because the
Bible says crying with those who are crying, and then like rejoice with those
who are rejoicing. And you know, yes, so and like I understand,
like this is like, you know, true friendship, like you know,
the whole like social media friend like that's like superficial. Yeah, like
that's I'm talking about, like true friendships, like the word. It's like,
you know, those friendships, Like I'm not willing to give them up
just because they have different views or I have different views than than they do.
Yeah, you know, it's just like you know, nonsense to me,
you know, because I think like we are more than just like you
know, political views. You know, we are more than like uh just
like you know, uh, the way we were brought up, because how
we were brought up also in a place like a role in how we we
are. So but I think we can learn to co exist absolutely, you
know, in spite of like our differences. So what you're basically saying is
we cannot use That's just the way I am as an absolutely taking the time
to foster those real connections because like anything, um, it takes time,
it takes effort, it takes you know, having a friendship, it's like
having a relationship, a romantic It's the same kind of work that you have
to put into right right, and if you want the benefits of having a
real friendship, you also have to take the time to foster it like everything
else, and that's I think in general and society and not necessarily sometimes because
we don't want to, but we have to find that time. We were
talking off the cameras, the importance of that support system, right, yeah,
it's so important. It has its and like a lot of the times,
like somebody is who's going through something, it doesn't necessarily you know,
they don't necessarily need like for you to do something for them. They just
need to know that you are there. You know. That's a world of
different. Yes, it does. And that's the thing that would God would
say to many folks in the Word of God, you know who were going
through a tough time. You know, um Moses for instance, He's like,
you know, what do I say? You know, who do I
say? Sent me? And whatever else? He's like, oh yeah,
yeah, He's like, and I'll be with you. I'll be with you
everyone, you know, anyone. And they were talking about they had a
task ahead of them. God was with them, he reminded, He canceled
out the fear by reminding of his presence. And that's what we need to
do. And it's not what Yeah, you're not alone. It's not about
just even Jesus, okay, Lord, I am with you always even you
know, he canceled out the fear. But let us know that we're in
this fight together. Yeah together, yes, yeah, So that's the problem,
you know, because like it's like, you know, me against you,
you against me, as about Okay, let's just like, you know,
join together and find a solution for the problem. You know, we
might not have the same you know views, but like let's figure out something
that won't work for all of us, right, yeah, as opposed to
Okay, no, you have to see it my way, you have to
do it my way, you know, and then it just like nothing gets
resolved. Going back to the it takes a village, right, takes a
village. Yeah, absolutely, I agree with that. I don't see villages
too. Yes, yes, we know absolutely that support system. It's so
crucial, right yeah. And so so we talked about like a number of
things that we can do to achieve unity because that is something that is lacking
right now, um, throughout the world. But you know, we are
here in America and like we see it like in different forms, you know,
it's like not only in politics, we see like kids being like killed
before, you know, senselessly. Those are like the result of like the
lack of unity where like you know, things that could have been done,
um to uh, to fix the problem because like you know, the other
side suggested it. So like you know, that side is like, no,
we're not gonna do it because it's the other side that suggested it,
as opposed to just like okay, let's like, you know, let's fix
this. Yeah, you know, because a lot of the times things don't
get fixed because the other side suggested it. And and well that brings something
else to mind. Um, let's let's learn how to compromise, right right,
Let's understand that maybe we're not going to get exactly everything go the way
we want it, but let's learn how to compromise a little bit. You
give, I give, and we have a happy medium, right, yeah,
exactly exactly. That's something that we talked about a lot, is compromising
with TV shows like he like my movies, my movies, like, yeah,
a lifetime Like I'm definitely a lifetimer, you know, is more you
know, action, you know, And so it's like, okay, we
had a compromise always thrown around them. Yeah, you know that's the thing.
It's like it goes compromising. It works with like within a marriage,
but it also works in all relationships, you know, you know if we
all learn to compromise with each other and compromising me accepting the other person,
yeah for who they are, just seeing them as a human being, yes,
you know, And you know it's just like you know, you might
not agree with like their choice, like you know, the their lifestyle whatsoever,
you know, but like just like accept them, see them as a
human being. Yeah, and love them though, yeah you know. And
that's like another thing that is like, you know, so imp and it
feels like you know, it's it's being dreamed love. Yeah, you know,
because I think like with love we can ach youse so much more.
Yeah, you know, because like when you have love, there are certain
things like you know, you're not you're gonna like get past them, yeah
quicker, Yeah, and an unconditional way. And I know that's also been
thrown out, but you know, not love only when you are doing what
I say how I say it because I want it like that, you know,
right right, you know, unconditional love where even if you you know,
have a lifestyle that I don't agree with. You know what, as
a human being I love, Yes, exactly. That's not gonna take away,
like to take my love away from you just because you have a different
lifestyle, because like you know, it should be unconditional. Yeah, definitely
comes up a lot, especially this past month, um, you know,
um, the month of June. It definitely came up a lot. The
idea of loving everyone and you know, no matter what lifestyle they have,
and something like that. And I'm like, there are people who think that
because I hold to my religious beliefs, that means that I can't love other
people who do not. And that cannot farther from the truth. You need
something. Sure, I love you. I may not agree with you or
that thing, but I love you. Yeah, for sure. For sure,
that's the that's the part of me that I cannot deny. Like I
mean, I don't have to agree with you. You don't have to agree
with me. I'm not asking you to be a Christian now. If you
want to learn about it, I'd be happy to talk to you about it,
but you don't have to. I'm not gonna force it down your throat.
Yeah, exactly, It's like it's so uh interesting when people say stuff
like that because like and they cleaving, Oh yeah, because like you know,
we like, you know, I am this religion, I'm not.
But like like for us, like Christians, you know, we like you
know, jess like were supposed to be following like you know what Jesus says.
And Jesus he was not like, you know, one of those people
like what we would call kind of you know, stand up fish. Oh
yeah, you don't, you know, you have a different lifestyle. When
Jesus was here, he didn't do that. Like he was like you know,
uh, you know, connecting, interacting with like people different lifestyle,
and they like, you know, even like you know, the the Pharisees,
the religious quote unquote religious people, like they even criticized them for that
because they thought, like, oh my goodness, why are you like,
you know, talking to this person. Jesus was not on top of the
folks who did not follow him like that. He was on top of the
religious leaders. Those are the ones who had he had a problem with,
the ones who claimed holdiness yeah but didn't live that way. Yeah, those
are the folks had a problem with. Not the poems that weren't Christians.
Yeah, and that's why I'm saying, like, you know, if we
have love, love can conquer everything, because like, when you have love,
you're gonna learn to just like be okay, you know what, I
love you anyway, you know, and like nothing that you can do will
stop me from loving you. And and to that point, I mean,
I mean we can talk about this literally, there's so many legs to this,
right, But I think part of the problem is a lot of people
have not experienced the feeling of love, the feeling of being loved, right,
So, because we are lacking that a lot in society. And and
when you have trauma, when you're growing up in an unhealthy environment, you
don't know what love is, how it feels. So you make a good,
good point about that, because like when you go through trauma and then
you don't know what love is, when somebody is like, you know,
giving it to you, you might be on the defensive, yeah, because
like it doesn't feel right to you because your brain has been rewired to think,
like, you know, to be like on the alert all the time.
So when you receive true love, you might be like, yeah,
what do you want? Right? You know why are why are you giving?
Yeah, absolutely, so maybe surrounding yourself with the community and people.
The people you surround yourself with in a day today basis will have a lot
of influence over you know, how you see things and and the things you
do. So surrounding yourself with people that you that are in a way well
rounded in that sense and can offer real, authentic, you know, love
and care, that's important. Definitely, definitely. So we talked about love
right yeah, um, you know, so communication right, compromisingly. Yeah,
and then like changing our way of thinking or challenging them, you know,
and that's looking inward. Yeah right, yes, say it again,
say it again. Yeah, you know. So it's important because like if
we don't like, you know, go into that moment of like you know,
self inventory where we just like, okay, let's just like, you
know, do a review, it's like, you know, we're just not
We're just gonna keep going further and further into that abyss. Yeah. Yeah,
And it's important to say that you you do an introspection today, that
doesn't mean that you're done. This is a life love on process. Yeah,
it's you're a lifelong work of art, continuously changing, evolving, shifting
and constantly you have to do that, you know that inventory. Yeah,
absolutely exactly. So yeah did we did. I haven't forget anything else.
I think we I think we covered it pretty good. Yeah yeah, so
yeah, so maybe we'll revisit that topic because I think we need to keep
hearing talk, keep talking about it this way, you know, until we
get to where we need to to get to. This was nice hosting with
you guys, ladies. I mean, like, it's fun talking and having
a conversation with you. It's just like totally yes, it's productive. And
we killed two birds with one star. So yeah, so I hope that
the audience got something. I'm sure got something out of it, and it's
something that, um, you all can continue within your family, within your
friends. Uh you know with your friends, you know when you are getting
together, because if we keep talking about it, like we will get a
chance to reflect more on absolutely and that's when the change will take place.
So yeah, so keep the conversations going with your loved ones everyone, and
thank you again, ladies. Thank you Cristal Ults. What's your h savvy?
You have a website. We're working on the website, but yeah,
you can catch for you on Instagram TikTok and Crystal Wallace on Facebook that kind
of covered moves. Yeah, okay, yes, thank you Chris, thank
you. I have to, like, you know, remember to say your
yeah, that's why I said. Chrystal Wallace, yea, thank you so
much for our lady. Thank you. You know, guys, where to
find us that SOS Radio dot Live every single Sunday and if you want to
like, you know, recap on like you know, watch rewatch some videos
some of the shows. You know, you could go on the same page,
right, Yes, Radio dot Live on videos on demand. Yes,
so yeah, you can just like check it out anytime, anytime of day
or night, you know. And so thank you everyone so much for tuning
in, and thank you again for your support for um Um the religious listener
who they always like by religious, i'd be like regular, you know,
always like log in. I thank you so much for your support and have
a great one. I'm your host, doctor Louise, will run Mac and
Louso. We'll see you next time. Bye, hope for today's show with
your host Louise Bobron Macaluso