WEBVTT

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This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're
listening to KF I Am six forty,

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the Doctor Wendy wallsh Show on demand
on the iHeartRadio app, Doctor Doctor,

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Jimmy the Louse, I gotta mek
loving you KF I Am six forty.

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You have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show,

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and I am taking your calls.
The phone number is one eight hundred

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five two zero one KFI. That's
one eight hundred five two zero one five

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three four. Also, if you
are on Instagram, I'm welcoming my Instagram

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audience. You're welcome to go on
to Instagram and search doctor Wendy Walsh.

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We are live in the studio.
If you're watching on Instagram, you're not

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going to hear both sides the conversation, so you might want to consider downloading

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the iHeartRadio apps. You can listen
to both sides. Okay, we have

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Elizabeth first. Hi Elizabeth, it's
doctor Wendy. Hi, Doctor Wendy.

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Hi, which question. Hi.
I've been engaged twice before and my current

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fiance I love him. He's great. However, I find that I keep

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getting cold feet at the thought of
actually going through with the marriage or with

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the actual wedding. And so my
question is how do I get over the

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anxiety of actually getting married and get
past whatever is holding me back? Because

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I love him so much, I
want to marry him, but I just

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I'm scared to get married. I
don't know, it's just there's something there

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that just prevents me from going through
with it. Well, Elizaeth, first

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of all, congratulations, I'm engaged
too, and it's very normal to have

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cold feet, to get nervous,
to worry that it's forever and ever.

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The fact though, that you've been
engaged twice before and got cold feet and

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it didn't happen, and now it's
the third time, tells me that you

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should not do this alone. You
really need a licensed therapist. Honestly,

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you need to be going regularly to
deal with this kind of anxiety so that

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you have good support and understanding,
because he or she, your therapist,

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may discover that this anxiety has nothing
to do with the current wedding coming up,

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but some other stuff that happened in
your life. Right, So please

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don't yeah, please don't do it
alone, Elizabeth. I want you to

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go to a licensed therapist. Get
over your anxiety so you can walk down

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the aisle and be in a wonderful
bride. You can do it. Thanks

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for calling, Elizabeth you congratulations,
Doctor Wad, thank you, thank you.

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Who do we have next? Producer, Kayla? Are you there?

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Who do we have next? I'm
waiting. Kim. Hi, Kim,

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It's doctor Wendy. Hi, Kim, It's doctor Wendy. Hi. How

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are you good? How are you? What's your question? Love? Well,

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I'm doing an update for you.
I'm kim Berly from Georgia. Huh,

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And I called you about six months
ago, maybe seven months ago,

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and I was going through breast cancer
and all that. I want to give

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you an update. Yes, yeah, well, and I was having a

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really hard time with it and everything. I'm scared. I'm in remission.

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Kimberly. I'm so happy. This
is Kimberly from Georgia who called six or

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seven months ago with her breast cancer
story. And now you're in remission.

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I am so happy to hear that. This is wonderful. I hate and

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I'm sorry to disagree with you,
but I do believe in love at first

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sight because my husband will make any
big decisions when you're at that early stage,

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that's all, Kimberly. Well,
Well, my husband, when we

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first met twenty four years ago,
answered a roommate ad and I told him

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I didn't think it was going to
work because I believe in love at first

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sight, and I might get scared
at night and I might call on your

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dead We've been together for twenty four
years and married seventeen. I'm so happy,

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all right. I disagree with you
on that, and you know what

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I would call you. You have
it. You are called Kimberly. Anecdotal

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evidence. An anecdotal total evidence does
not prove the statistics. What I'm really

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telling people is when you have that
rush of neuro hormones that you had with

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your husband, that you try not
to make big decisions in your life.

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You guys did and it worked for
you. And I'm happy, and I'm

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especially happy for that update. Thank
you so much for calling Kimberly. Okay,

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producer, Kayla, who do we
have? Now? We have Valerie

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with an update? Valerie, High
Valerie. Another update, Okay, high

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Valerie, another update. Oh my
gosh, Okay, So, Wendy,

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I called you about a year and
a half ago. A year and a

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half ago. Oh my gosh,
I hope I can remember. What did

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you say a year and a half
ago? It's okay. Anyway, I

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had brought in a homeless man and
your ice was giving him up up,

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and then he had a way of
getting into your mind and trying to keep

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in there. But what I want
to tell you is he's a very interesting

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man. He actually started hitting me
against cyberwomen and saying that he wasn't cheating

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on me because they're cyberwomen. So
I'm telling you this was an interesting concept.

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And then the next thing that happens
is is that you write about,

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oh gosh, I'm in love with
some guy and he doesn't really have as

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much money as me, and I'm
thinking, like, hmm, what the

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heck is going on in this world? But my bottom line to you is

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that you have to pay attention to
the person you're with. And if it's

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what's the word I want to say, If it's not, what are you

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still together? No? No?
In fact, I even had to change

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my phone number. So you dumped
him because of the cybergirlfriends, the online

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life, well, soccer and drinking
and uh yeah, there's yeah, it

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sounds like he was a very functional. Well so okay, So a year

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and a half ago I advised you
to get rid of the homeless man you

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had taken in, and you said
he was very psychologically manipulative, but then

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you found out he's drinking a lot
and he as a cybergirlfriend, Valerie,

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I'm glad you were brave enough to
get rid of him. Thank you so

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much for doing that, and thanks
for calling with the update. Okay,

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if you want to call the numbers
one eight hundred five two zero one KFI.

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That's one eight hundred five two zero
one five three four. Let me

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go to social media real quickly.
Dear doctor Wendy says this DM a guy

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I met online and have been texting
with, asked me on a coffee date.

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My friend says, he must not
like me very much, because men

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show their feelings through their pockets.
I mean, your wallets are coffee dates

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too low of an effort, not
in today's time. In fact, I

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wouldn't even call a coffee date a
date. I would call it a coffee

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meeting, just a little meetup to
decide if you want to have a first

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date. That is my advice.
Get off the apps and messaging quickly.

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Get into the real world, get
on the phone, go out for a

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little bit of a you know,
a little coffee or something. But definitely

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it's okay. Don't don't let that
first meeting be longer than like twenty minutes

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or so, and then if two
of you like each other, then you

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go on a first date. Okay, you don't like I hate this whole

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big pressure to spend money and look
good and make it a big deal when

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you've only seen the person online.
But thanks for the question. Okay,

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who do we have on the phone. We have Brad with a question.

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Brad, Hi, Brad, It's
doctor Wendy. Hey, doctor Wendy.

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How are you doing good? What's
your question? Well, I just want

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to say I've been following you for
several years now and I appreciate you taking

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my time. Thank you. I
live in a small, uh cool beach

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town, New smmirt of Beach,
just south of DAYTONA. Yeah, you've

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got a southern gentleman south of Dayton. Yeah. Absolutely, Well I'm native

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from uh to Atlanta, but I've
been down here fourteen years now. But

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uh uh the twins went off to
college this fall, and uh, I

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just feel like I've been on a
six month lease program for the past seven

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eight years, Dayton. I'll date
around a bunch of girls for six months.

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I'll find a nice one I dated
for six months, traded in and

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you know, after having three kids, you know, I don't have to

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get married again. But I am
a companion person. I feel like I've

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run through my whole small town here. I get fun. I mean,

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I definitely want to find my special
my my my my, my special goal.

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But uh, I've got one more
kid that's a freshman in high school.

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You've got three or four more years
kid to launch. Yeah, so

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I just you know, should I
hold, you know, pump the brake

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for getting trying to find that special
gal or just enjoy the journey or you

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know, Okay, so rad,
let me just say this. So it

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sounds like you're living in this cool
little beach town in Florida. Two of

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your kids are already launched, you
got one still in the nest, you're

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divorced, and you've been dating most
of the women in town for about six

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months each and you feel like you've
sort of run through them all, but

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you're still looking for a long term
companion. I would start by going back

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to thinking about the ones that you've
dated, because maybe you didn't do it

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with as much meaning at the time. And then I would also expand your

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net a little bit outside of the
town and not too far because long distance

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relationships are pained in the butt.
But ask yourself if you're really ready,

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because when you're ready, you will
stick with someone. The fact that you've

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been turning them in every six months, that's tells me that that's what you're

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happy with. You know, what
we do, what we want is what

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it is, and if you want
someone long term, you'll stick to that

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person. Thanks so much for calling. You're listening to doctor Wendy Walsh on

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demand from KFI AM six forty.
I want to go to social media because

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that's where people are most intimate with
me. A reminder, I'm not a

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therapist. I'm a psychology professor,
but I'm a woman of a certain age

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who has a lot of life experience
and a lot of wisdom. Okay,

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here we go, Hey, doctor
Wendy, I met this guy at a

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bar with my friend, had so
much fun, got a room, had

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a romp ooh, and was amazed
at the whole package of the package.

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Yes, the package. I was
so amazed. I never got his name.

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Really that's interesting anyway, but he
did make a post in twenty eleven.

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Anyway, he answered me. Then
he proceeded to bring me along what

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found out he did this all across
the country. Women were sharing their stories,

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but not his name. He's married, has grown kids now, but

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I never got his name. And
the blurry picks I don't have to work

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in the Google lens. All I
wanted to was to find out what this

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guy did for a living. Who
has time to charm women all over the

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country, have sex with them and
not get caught? How can I trust

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again? Okay, we need to
stop right here and freeze up everything on

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this. You want to trust somebody
whose name you don't know, who you've

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been stalking online and finding women sharing
stories about him and his picture. I

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guess you're using Google images or something. And you madame at a bar,

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had your ROMP, was amazed by
the whole package, and now you want

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to trust. I'm sorry. Trust
takes a long time to build. And

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if you think you know enough about
somebody after meeting them at a bar and

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having a ROMP and them have an
amazing package that was all in caps,

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so I think I know what you
mean. And then you want to trust.

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You can't trust that way. Trust
is a slow burned thing. Trust

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you got to take your time with
Trust. You got to make them sacrifice

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to see what happens. Trust you
got to do your due diligence. Trust

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is not about I had a romp. I want to find him. I

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don't know his name. Oh he's
been with lots of other women. Now

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he's married with kids. What do
I do? How can I trust again?

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If you lost your mind? Sorry, I'm being real honest. Have

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you lost your mind? Okay,
Hi, doctor Wendy help. I have

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an intense crush on a coworker.
We're equal, meaning I don't work directly

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under her or vice versa. She
has a beautiful mind. I was in

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control of my feelings and then I
had a sex dream about her, and

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my feelings have intensified. I think
about her all the time. I'm not

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sure if the feeling is mutual,
and I don't want to make things awkward.

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Should I make a movie? Okay, well, all this has to

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do. Let's start about. There's
a little thing that happened called the me

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Too movement in twenty seventeen hashtag me
too, have you heard about it?

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Which means this is generally not a
good idea to meet people at work.

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However, having said that, I
think something like three out of five marriages

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say that they began at work.
So I like the fact that you're on

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the same equal grounding what I want
you to do, and you can do

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it clandestinely. It doesn't need to
be you in person. Is get your

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HR department's policy on workplace relationships,
because if they have a very strict no

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workplace relationships policy and you've read it
in the employee handbook and you do it

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anyway, you can get fired.
Literally. You don't want to lose your

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job over this, right, So
my thinking is, you move very very

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slowly, and you make the odd
little comment, not flirty, not flirty,

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not flirty, but something like do
you want to get coffee together or

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whatever sometime, and if they if
they pick up on it and are seem

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interested, open body language, hair
flip, whatever, then move forward carefully.

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But I'm telling you this can be
a problem no PDAs at work public

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displays of affection because other people can
complain to HR that they're in a toxic

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sexual environment because of that. All
right, it's a real you got a

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pussy foot around this pun intended.
You got to be really careful when you're

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doing workplace stuff. The best thing
is you're on the same level. But

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how often do you have to really
interact with each other at work and do

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stuff? Because dating is usually not
the problem for HR departments, it's the

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breakup. Imagine now that you've broken
up with this woman and she hates you,

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how are you going to get your
job done? Yeah? You got

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to think about all these questions in
the future. Hi, doctor Wendy.

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In the very beginning stages of dating, how many hours do you think is

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acceptable to take to text back someone. I don't know if I'm the problem

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or this guy is clingy. I
don't like him yet, but I may

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one day. I just don't want
immediate text back. All right. Let

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me explain the timing and duration between
texts. I have not seen a study

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in an academic journal about it.
However, if I were to speculate,

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I would say it is highly correlated
with attachment style. Those that have slightly

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more anxious attachment style and slightly lower
self esteem text back quickly. In fact,

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one bit of research that I did
read out of the Kinsey Institute on

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dating app messaging showed that the higher
a person's mate status, the better looking

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they were, the more money they
made, whatever it is, right,

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the less they text less often and
fewer words. Right, So, what

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does it mean that he's texting back
immediately? It means he's chasing you and

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you're the higher status mate in the
situation, and or it means that he

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has kind of an anxious attachment style. And the question is do you want

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to live with that? It sounds
like you might have a little bit,

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you might lie a little bit on
the scale of having an avoidant attachment style.

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Right, so you're being oh,
it's too much, too soon.

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Look, anybody who is anxious when
they get that text right back to like,

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oh that's okay, they're right there. And then before they know it,

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too anxious people meet and they come
completely immeshed. Nobody can remember whose

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problem is, who's There's no independent
growth anymore, you know. With that.

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There's also research to show when an
anxious person gets in a relationship with

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an avoidant person, their relationships last
the very longest, but they're the most

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unhappy because somebody's always chasing and feeling
they're not getting enough, and the other

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person's always feeling smothered and engulfed.
Isn't that crazy? All these women talking

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about trying to be guys. I
had a dear doctor, Wendy. I

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have had a crush on this guy
who works in my building, and all

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of a sudden, I see him
on hinge. Should I, oh,

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that's cool. Should I wait for
him to like me or send him alike?

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You need to send him alike.
You need to let him know.

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That's all you need to do.
Just need to you know. I back

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in the day when I was on
dating apps, I would sometimes see friends

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or guys that I'd previously dated,
and I would match with them just to

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say hello. And I just say
in the message, Hey, just saying

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hello, I want to match because
I know we both saw each other.

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It's like being in a night club
together and you both see each other and

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you don't talk to each other.
That's weird, right, So should my

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little text say, Hey, I
see him on building? How are you

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see? If anything grows from there? You may you never know. Hey,

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when we come back, let's talk
about conflict resolution. Six questions to

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ask yourself after your next argument.
You're listening to doctor Wendy Walsh on demand

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from KFI AM six forty Okay,
Conflict resolution. I mentioned that the Golden

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Bachelor's probably I don't know them,
it's gossip, but you never know.

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Maybe they had some conflict resolution problems. Maybe they didn't learn conflict. I

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always say that relationships are far more
about skill than luck, and probably the

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most important skill that we all need
to learn is how to have healthy conflict.

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Now, in our family of origin, healthy conflict might not have been

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modeled for us. Maybe you grew
up in a family where your parents believe

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you should never fight in front of
the children, and so they did whatever

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they had to do behind closed doors, and you might have heard some muffled

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raised tones in the other room,
but you certainly never saw the resolution,

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the repair, the ability to come
back into love. Or maybe you had

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a family of origin who used very
unhealthy conflict skills like yelling and screaming,

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name calling, God forbid, physical
violence, throwing things, breaking things,

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oh no no, or worse,
the silent treatment. I'm not talking to

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that person, right. You can
be living in the same house and they're

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just like slamming the cupboard doors and
not talking. None of these things work,

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you know. There is a study
that was published this year in a

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journal called Personal Relationships, one of
my favorite, and they found something very

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interesting about couples who are arguing.
They found that during the heat of the

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moment, if couples one or both
can just pause, just stop for a

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minute and internally think about the situation, they can actually lower their own distress

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and they can increase their confidence and
their ability to figure this out right,

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to manage conflict appropriately. So the
thing is, most of us know the

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behaviors we need to do, and
hindsight, of course is twenty twenty when

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it comes to conflict. But what
can you do in the heat of the

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moment? And the research suggest that
there are six questions. Now, if

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you can remember all six when you're
in the middle of a fight, I

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don't know how you're gonna do that. Why don't you write them down,

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put them on the fridge with a
magnet, and next time you're in a

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fight, grab that piece of paper
and go through them. Okay, here

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they are. Number one, ask
yourself, why did this happen? How

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did we get here? Right?
What's going on? Because sometimes the thing

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you're fighting about isn't really the thing
you're fighting about. There was something earlier,

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or there was some ongoing, grinding
thing that was making everybody irritable.

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Right, Maybe you guys were just
angry. You're hungry, you're tired,

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you're lonely, you're feeling abandoned,
and so you're going to focus on whatever

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thing you're fighting about at that moment. So ask yourself, why why are

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we here? The second thing the
researchers asked these participants in the study to

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do is ask their own brain how
should this conflict be handled? Like literally,

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stop and ask yourself how? Here's
why I think this is beautiful.

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So the how word is a very
interesting word. As soon as you ask

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somebody how, you are taking their
energy or their thought process out of their

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ancient brain, their fear centers of
their brain, their emotional brain, and

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you're bringing it into the prefrontal cortex. That's the place where we solve problems.

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So it goes from being this emotional
volcano to uh huh, how a

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math problem for us to solve?
How problem? How questions are my favorite

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questions to ask in a relationship,
and especially when there's conflict. How should

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it be handled? Ask yourself,
how should I handle this? How should

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I handle this? Just inside your
head, how should I handle this?

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It's going to give you better words, it will uh. And then make

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it global. Ask yourself how should
conflicts generally be dealt with? What's the

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answer? Is it to argue out? Is it to give someone the silent

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treatment? Is it to be right
all the time so that the other person

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can lose? Is it so the
relationship can win every time? And sometimes

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that does mean compromise? Then teach
yourself. Ask yourself how should people generally

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respond to conflicts in their relationship?
And then ask yourself what kind of response

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makes sense here? But the big
part is after the fight, make a

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plan for the future. Use every
fight as a learning tool. Ask yourself

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what would be most helpful for dealing
with future conflicts. So I want you

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to rest assured, no matter how
old you are at any time. And

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some people have a very short fuse. We know that's a what is it?

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Along? Or my geneticist friends say, along something on the serotonin receptor

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or anyway, Some people have a
short fuse, some people have a long

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fuse. Some people are quick to
get angry. Other people. It takes

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a while slow burn, or they
may be very calm on the regular,

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but it is possible to train your
brain. It is possible to even in

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the heat of the moment, remind
yourself that this relationship is good, this

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partner is a good person. You
chose this partner for a reason. In

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that moment, I want you to
stop and think, what can we do

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differently. It's going to take trial
and error. I'm going to say,

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you know, I'm in the healthiest
relationship I've had in my life. But

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we had a few fights and we
actually afterwards process well when you said this

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is what I felt, then really
that's really surprised because that's not what I

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meant, right, And we took
the time to untangle the argument together.

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Just like as analysis, we're just
doing an analysis. So you know,

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take your time to learn, and
above all, make sure you do the

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repair and the repair doesn't happen to
happen right away. Go out for a

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walk, at jog whatever. It's
not a good idea to go to bed

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mad though, I'll oh, actually, if there's alcohol involved, go to

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bed mad. Okay, you don't
step all night like two fighting drunks.

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You're so dumb. Deal with en
in the morning, but spend some time

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getting back together in relationship after a
fight because you feel like you've been through

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a war zone because that's your primary
attachment figure, that's the person you love

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so much, and that almost emotional
umbilical cord has been damaged in that fight.

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So take the time to do repair. And repair should involve I mean,

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it's wonderful if it can involve apologies. It should never involve blaming or

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decide keeping score, deciding who's a
winner and who's a loser. It should

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be a reminder of why you love
the person. So it might have something

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like, you know, I really
love you because your X y Z,

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I'm sorry this happened between us,
or I miss you. You know.

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One time I had a fight with
a guy I was dating, and I

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was able to somehow in the fight
or near the end, say to him,

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you've forgotten who I am, because
that's what happens right in our mind,

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it becomes this awful, evil person. I was able to say somehow,

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you've forgotten who I am, and
that kind of made them freeze and

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reconsider what was going on. So
remember who you're with, Okay, remember

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why you chose them. Remember,
the relationship is mostly good if it is.

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Look, if you're fighting all the
time, you need to be in

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a therapist together, for sure.
But you can teach yourself how to have

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better conflict resolution skills. Hey,
we come back. I want to talk

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about self talk and six things that
successful people never say to themselves. You're

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listening to doctor Wendy Walsh on demand
from KFI Am six forty. We were

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into the home stretch of the Doctor
Wendy Walls Show. I promise you it,

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I'm going to say it again.
Self talk. We got to think

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about the relationship that we're having with
ourselves. I often say that our most

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important relationship is the relationship we're having
with ourselves. Let me explain something to

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you. Our thoughts matter. Did
you know that the thoughts in our head

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lead to our moods. Our moods
dictate our behavior, and our behavior out

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there in the world then confirms those
thoughts because the environment will reflect back what

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we believe. Example, let's say
you're walking into a new situation with new

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people you don't know, and the
thought you have in your head is,

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ugh, they're not going to like
me. I'm not as good as they

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are. I don't make as much
money, I'm not as pretty as they

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are. They're not going to like
me. So there's the thought, And

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how does that affect your mood?
You feel a little embarrassed, ashamed,

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you feel a little down and low. How does that affect your body?

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Your posture shrinks just a little bit. You don't walk up proudly to the

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first person you see and put out
your hand and say your name and introduce

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yourself. You kind of become the
wallflower. You look for the bar,

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and then after a while, because
people aren't running up to talk to you,

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everything is confirmed. Your first thought
is confirmed. I am not likable,

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you think you know? It is
so important that the voices in our

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head are positive because our brain becomes
programmed by them. I often say that

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in many ways, life is a
self fulfilling prophecy. Now I know they're

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bad stuff that happened, but even
bad in bad times, in difficult times

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and challenging times, there are some
people who laugh. There are some people

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who manage to ride the waves of
the turbulent seas and be able to get

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through. So which person are you? Well? I hope you're a self

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compassionate person. You know when you
have compassion for yourself. Now again,

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self love is different from having a
big ego and thinking you're great. Self

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love is understanding that you're human,
knowing you can forgive yourself sometimes also feeling

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really proud of yourself when you do
something right. There's lots of research to

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show that when we practice self compassion, we actually have more energy, we

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feel more alive, and oh yeah, we're more optimistic. So here are

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a few things that successful people.
When I say successful, I don't mean

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rich. I mean people who get
through life relatively unscathed, those that can

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roll with the chops and the flow. What am I saying? What am

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I metaphors? Those who could take
the bumps and the hits and come back

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stronger. These are successful people.
Okay, here's some of the things they

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never ever say to themselves. Like
my example, they never say I'm not

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good enough. As soon as you
think that phrase I'm not good enough,

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your anxiety is going to go up. You are going to your self esteem

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is going to go down. Instead, I want you to say something like

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what's good for me? Right?
Now? Right, I'm not good enough,

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but what's good for me right?
Now, let's go back to that

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example of walking into that social situation
that seems new and scary. What's good

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for me is to go out and
make some good contacts I can use them

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in business. Or what's good for
me right now is to be brave,

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go into that room and meet some
new friends. This is what I need.

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This is what's good for me right
now. Okay, here's another self

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defeating thought that you shouldn't have inside
your head. I'll never be able to

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get this. Why should I even
bother? Well, first of all,

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I'm explain something to you. That
thought is scientifically wrong. Our brain has

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something called neuroplasticity, and we can
always change, we can always grow,

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we can always develop. You can
change careers at fifty. You can write

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00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:12.720
a novel at seventy. I saw
an article the other day about a dude

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who ran a marathon and he never
started running in his life until he was

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00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:22.759
seventy two. What yes, And
I think he was like eighty five when

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he ran it. So there you
go. You can learn to play the

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00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:30.640
piano at eighty. You can learn
a foreign language at forty. Look,

404
00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:33.480
I'm taking it lower. Foreign languages
are harder. They're really good for keeping

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00:30:33.519 --> 00:30:36.559
your brain young. I do want
to say this. So instead of saying

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I'll never be able to get this, I want you to say I need

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more practice. I need more practice. See how positive that is. Okay,

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00:30:44.359 --> 00:30:48.079
here's the third thing you shouldn't be
saying inside your head. I'm a

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00:30:48.119 --> 00:30:52.720
failure. Oh really, So now
you've made a little mistake or you're learning,

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00:30:52.720 --> 00:30:56.480
you're on the learning curve, so
it's harder for you, and you've

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00:30:56.519 --> 00:31:00.880
done some small, little failures,
and it has become an entire identity to

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00:31:00.920 --> 00:31:06.519
you. I am a failure.
Right. Something about your character, your

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00:31:06.599 --> 00:31:11.960
overall perception of yourself, your global
perspective of self is I'm a failure.

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00:31:11.079 --> 00:31:15.440
That's your identity. You're gonna wear
a shirt that says failure, a hat

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00:31:15.440 --> 00:31:18.440
that says failure. You're gonna own
it, really really cause you made a

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00:31:18.519 --> 00:31:22.200
mistake. How about learn to say, WHOA, I learned a lot there.

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00:31:23.000 --> 00:31:26.559
Right, next time you make a
mistake, practice sing I learned a

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00:31:26.680 --> 00:31:33.440
lot there. Okay. Also,
do not say this. I can't believe

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00:31:33.480 --> 00:31:37.599
I did the I'm so stupid.
I used to say that. In fact,

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00:31:37.599 --> 00:31:38.559
in front of my kids. I
was aware that I used to say,

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00:31:38.799 --> 00:31:41.680
oh, dummy mummy. Oh what
a dummy mummy. I can't believe

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00:31:41.680 --> 00:31:44.960
I did this, and they would
giggle and call me dummy mummy. And

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00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:47.839
at a certain point I cut that
out. That is not okay, all

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00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:52.480
right. Instead, just say nobody's
perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Learn to

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00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:57.759
think that nobody's perfect. Everybody makes
mistakes. And finally, don't compare yourself

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00:31:57.799 --> 00:32:01.400
to others. Do not say things
like I'm not as good as them.

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00:32:01.599 --> 00:32:07.880
The comparison mistake will get you every
time. If you want to bring yourself

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00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:12.319
up and compare yourself to others,
ask ask some of your closest friends,

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00:32:12.400 --> 00:32:19.160
family, and colleagues what they most
appreciate you for. You'll be surprised at

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00:32:19.200 --> 00:32:22.960
some of the things they say,
and then you can learn to love yourself

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00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:27.680
more and be proud of yourself.
It's okay to do things well, and

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00:32:27.720 --> 00:32:31.720
it's okay to fail and know that
you're human. That is good emotional intelligence,

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00:32:32.319 --> 00:32:35.880
and that brings the Doctor Wendy Wall's
Show to a close. It is

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00:32:35.920 --> 00:32:38.480
always my pleasure to be here every
Sunday from seven to nine pm. You

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00:32:38.519 --> 00:32:43.799
can also follow me in my social
media at doctor Wendy Walsh Everywhere. I

436
00:32:43.880 --> 00:32:46.160
also do this wonderful little Patreon group
Wednesday nights at six thirty. A lot

437
00:32:46.160 --> 00:32:50.480
of KFI listeners there. You're welcome
to join us. Just go to patreon

438
00:32:50.559 --> 00:32:54.640
dot com slash doctor Wendy Walsh.
It's always a joy and an honor to

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00:32:54.720 --> 00:33:00.599
be here with you on Sunday nights
listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can

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00:33:00.599 --> 00:33:05.119
always hear us live on KFI a
M six forty from seven to nine pm

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00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:08.000
on Sunday and anytime on demand on
the iHeartRadio app