1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:21,199 S Comedy Central Podcast. Thank you, Friends. Well, you' re 2 00:00:21,199 --> 00:00:26,640 quite right, but we' re not here to discuss this. Good for 3 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:31,559 those of you who know me about previous monologues in central comics, well. 4 00:00:31,679 --> 00:00:36,880 I made a monologue about 15 meters. He disappeared 15 meters and showed up 5 00:00:37,399 --> 00:00:41,439 We can do it. I made a monologue about the Palmar de Troya and 6 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:46,600 the Palmar de Troya is beginning to disappear. I made a monologue about hope 7 00:00:46,719 --> 00:00:53,119 ire and only resigned bad luck. Now I' m going to make a 8 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:56,479 monologue about the universe, so, if the apocalypse comes, I' ve 9 00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:00,840 been worth it I don' t make you bieis, no, because that 10 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,960 ' s what he was telling me. Guys, let' s talk about 11 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:07,319 this. I have been pursuing the political class, the bankers, the parish 12 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:12,400 priests for many years, pursuing the economic and social system that destroys us. 13 00:01:12,799 --> 00:01:17,159 But I have discovered that this is the path of hatred, that I do 14 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:22,000 not want to be a slave to hatred, because there is a system above 15 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:26,200 that which has been destroying us for millions of years, which is the Solar 16 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:37,120 system. I openly declare myself an anti- solar system. Why do I 17 00:01:37,159 --> 00:01:41,359 have to accept arbitrary laws like the law of gravity, which I have not 18 00:01:41,439 --> 00:01:51,000 voted for. Hey, rooms in here tonight, your back hurts because of 19 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:56,120 that damn law and you friends who hang your breasts. I' m with 20 00:01:57,959 --> 00:02:04,040 you, I' m sorry, but we' re going to repeal the 21 00:02:04,079 --> 00:02:06,519 law of gravity and we can fuck seriously. Zero you imagine, they give 22 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,439 you a dick and they bring you home. It' s wonderful. That 23 00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:20,319 ' s the one I really mean not. The other day I was seeing 24 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,879 the Universe, because it' s watching it. I can afford it. 25 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:28,960 I don' t have a terrace and I smoke joints. That section is 26 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:38,919 something I can do. Not that you look at the universe and it' 27 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:43,520 s how it' s gonna make me feel insignificant about a nigger, that 28 00:02:43,599 --> 00:02:46,159 is, it' s something that happens. Uh, and I' m 29 00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:49,120 staring at the universe. I mean, my mother, if this is manga 30 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:53,280 per shoulder, one star, here the other, since there is no criterion. 31 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:58,919 You know you say that stars change color, that there' s a 32 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,960 little museum in the background, like Christmas decorations, you fucking see a joy. 33 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:06,680 But that' s a mess, I mean. But now there are 34 00:03:06,879 --> 00:03:09,919 people who claim that that makes sense. Not, for example, astronomers and 35 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:16,759 astrologers. It is necessary to differentiate astronomer from astrologer, for example, astronomy 36 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:23,000 studies the physionomy of the Universe. Okay astronomer was, for example, Galileo. 37 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:30,280 Galilei knew that he said that the earth was round and that it revolved 38 00:03:30,439 --> 00:03:35,639 around the sun through its gravitational fields. And everyone knows that' s a 39 00:03:35,719 --> 00:03:39,439 lie. What drives the world is insex money and drugs. I mean, 40 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:47,599 Galileo, you don' t know no and an astrologer, because they would 41 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:53,240 be Rappel and Sandro Rey and those other millenarian cockatoos who are dedicated to stealing 42 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:59,680 from the illiterates of this country. Okay That' s the difference. Mainly, 43 00:04:03,599 --> 00:04:09,000 the first astrologers in history were Arabs, so we live under the aesthetic 44 00:04:09,039 --> 00:04:13,280 dictatorship of Isis, which tells you that right there in the North Star and 45 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:19,519 its eggs that is the North Star. I want to choose I' m 46 00:04:19,879 --> 00:04:25,920 making a change org so that the North Star is the South Star that catches 47 00:04:25,959 --> 00:04:30,560 me closer to home. What' s up, I can' t, 48 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:39,680 I can' t. The direct heirs of the first Arab astronomers and astrologers 49 00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:44,399 are the hippies of rural houses, those who catch you by band and tell 50 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:49,720 you sometimes from there. That' s what hassiopeado Ves, which has the 51 00:04:49,759 --> 00:04:57,360 form of Cassiopeia, and that' s Andromeda, which has the shape of 52 00:04:57,399 --> 00:04:59,519 Andromeda Ves and that' s the frying pan and the cart over there. 53 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,040 We also call it the big bear and the little bear. I say asshole, 54 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,480 you don' t even know the way it is and you go into 55 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:10,439 age details, you know what you' re telling me. I can play 56 00:05:10,759 --> 00:05:15,720 that, too. I can also create my own cosmogony. I can create 57 00:05:15,759 --> 00:05:19,680 my own universe. We have to put together the dots. It' s 58 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:25,720 very simple. I' ll take the stars. So, another, over 59 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:30,519 here, another, over here, another, over here the dick of uranus. 60 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:42,040 I did it with my hands. The problem is that we are enduring 61 00:05:42,079 --> 00:05:46,879 that aesthetic dictatorship of the universe and, in addition, we are enduring the 62 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,680 moral dictatorship of the universe that forces us to be one way or another. 63 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:57,040 According to our horoscope sign, by which if you are an aquarium, you 64 00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:02,720 are creative and empathetic and you fuck, even if you are working in an 65 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:06,920 assembly chain and are discovering you in the face, you are creative and impact. 66 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:18,959 And that' s how it ended. It' s eyeball with those 67 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:23,600 horoscope geeks. Those people you' re at the disco and they' re 68 00:06:23,639 --> 00:06:27,240 coming up to you like hello. What do I know? You' re 69 00:06:27,319 --> 00:06:33,560 not even the name. Not even the name I am. I' m 70 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,240 an aquarium, ah, it' s an aquarium, oh, how strong. 71 00:06:36,519 --> 00:06:41,120 I' m Gemini. We' re super compatible. Let' s 72 00:06:41,439 --> 00:06:45,399 fuck come on anyway. If you have a veneer, you know, blow 73 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:54,319 the stars protect him. You know that? Is that so? Is that 74 00:06:54,319 --> 00:06:58,560 so? It' s like human stupidity travels through the universe as it climbs 75 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,079 into the orion cart. You know it' s practically not then. The 76 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:05,279 theme of horoscopes. The theme of horoscopes. Personally, I have begun to 77 00:07:05,319 --> 00:07:11,519 reinterpret it, because I too can create my own horoscope and I have the 78 00:07:11,519 --> 00:07:15,879 final one. I know what each person is like according to what he asks 79 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:26,600 for from a lid horoscope bar, who from here is anchovy raise your hand 80 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:30,879 those who are anchovy that is anchoite, good people, the anchovies. Very 81 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:35,839 salty, very salty. But in the internal forum, a bunch of shit. 82 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:40,839 Hey, famous things. Hey, someone who' s potato, brava, 83 00:07:42,759 --> 00:07:46,480 potato, brava, I love potato brava, simple people, people who 84 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:51,279 go face- to- face, uh, people who are willing to share 85 00:07:51,399 --> 00:07:57,360 always, but if you don' t throw sauce at three- paired insuls. 86 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:03,199 Someone who' s San Gwin, seen this bloodthirsty, seen, no, 87 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:07,040 man you can see in your eyes. Hey, the Sangwin, you 88 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:11,079 see, he' s a guy who combines you with everything, with coke, 89 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,759 with coffee, with the cubata in the morning in the afternoon. When 90 00:08:13,839 --> 00:08:18,959 you don' t feel like being with a sangir seen at any time, 91 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,079 but then they give it to you with cheese very carefully with them. Hey, 92 00:08:22,319 --> 00:08:28,720 object. I' m octopus. You know how we are octopus, 93 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:35,600 not cartilageous, tender, but our hand goes. What are the differences between 94 00:08:35,639 --> 00:08:39,240 an octopus and me, because I don' t have to be a sucker 95 00:08:39,279 --> 00:08:52,759 to cook me You see, I go just for that, friends, we 96 00:08:52,759 --> 00:08:56,840 live in deception and we live in panic. We' re scared, we 97 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,720 ' re scared all the time. We' re afraid the end will come. 98 00:08:58,159 --> 00:09:03,480 We' re afraid extraterrestrials will come to destroy us. And they came, 99 00:09:03,519 --> 00:09:07,600 but they said pussy. If they go alone you know they don' 100 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:13,159 t need to. We' re not obsessed. They don' t say 101 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:16,799 there' s smart life out there There' s smart life in here. 102 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:22,440 This is what worries me. I don' t give a shit about intelligence, 103 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,759 man. I' d like you to be dumber than us, that 104 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:28,320 is, to come out Minister of Defense and say well, we' ve 105 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,840 had an extraterrestrial contact and the truth is that aliens have let us down deeply. 106 00:09:31,799 --> 00:09:35,960 They' re moronic, but I mean, they' re waving at 107 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:48,519 you like that. That' s why lake is and we champions, champions 108 00:09:48,519 --> 00:09:52,080 that roll. You understand that stuff mainly not, but of course I don 109 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:56,080 ' t give a shit about that extraterrestrial The titles that have the master' 110 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,080 s degrees as smart as they are. What worries me is less I can 111 00:09:58,159 --> 00:10:05,039 fuck because I' m tired of being bisexual. I want to try new 112 00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:09,759 formulas. You know seven tits, five dicks in the shoulder. A bifido 113 00:10:09,879 --> 00:10:16,879 bear asshole is having weird sons like Zapatero' s daughters. You know kids 114 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,360 with two heads. That' s good, you have to feed two mouths, 115 00:10:18,519 --> 00:10:20,840 but it' s a stomach. Alone. You know, at most 116 00:10:20,919 --> 00:10:26,759 you spend it on salt caps What I want to say to you is that 117 00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:30,320 a Martian world wants to go to a puti clú and that there are Vulcan 118 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,600 sluts, you know, and that they' re there Imanol arias and haganovee 119 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,000 cutting ham with a sword. Laser there that looks like churruscadito. You know, 120 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:41,879 that' s my extraterrestrial fantasy. That' s what I want to 121 00:10:43,279 --> 00:10:48,559 the awesome. We' re not afraid of space in general, but it 122 00:10:48,639 --> 00:10:54,600 ' s our fourth, because you know, you know that the planet can 123 00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:58,360 destroy us, uh, because we' re afraid that tectonic plates, when 124 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,960 they rub, don' t make love. You know, we' re 125 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:05,240 afraid of earthquakes and we' re afraid of tidal waves, that I don 126 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,200 ' t understand that tidal waves kill a lot of people whatever you want, 127 00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:18,840 but what movies we do, my mother, at last they ate it with 128 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:18,879 the servians, things how they are, I' ve seen the impossible. 129 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:26,039 They' re going to do the second part is going to be called the 130 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,080 next and the third part I' m going to sweep because I don' 131 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,200 t see the shit that leaves the movie. That' s the one you 132 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:35,559 signed up for. Not that. We' re scared, guys, we 133 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:37,840 ' re completely freaked out. We are afraid that machines, this is incredible, 134 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:43,759 that machines develop superior artificial intelligence and are smarter than us. Don' 135 00:11:43,879 --> 00:11:48,039 t worry about me. They can never be just as stupid as we are. 136 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:54,399 We' ll always beat them there, unless the machines do stupid things. 137 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:58,399 Medium machines are normal, that is, I know chairs you roll with 138 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:05,879 pedals. That' s what I' m for, what do I know? 139 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:11,240 Yo, what do I know? That' s why? Friends, 140 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:16,159 as we are afraid of all this. It seems that on Earth we have 141 00:12:16,159 --> 00:12:18,960 designed a plan for when we destroy the planet, because we are going to 142 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,759 destroy it, because we have to keep selling motorcycles, which is a shame, 143 00:12:24,039 --> 00:12:26,639 because the planet is fine, has WiFi and the weather is good, 144 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:31,279 but you see that it is not good enough for us. So what we 145 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,759 ' ve said is that we' re going to Mars, that since there 146 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:37,879 ' s no one is ours, that' s how you occupy the universe. 147 00:12:37,279 --> 00:12:41,399 No, then we' re going to Mars, we' re going 148 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,639 to Mars, and that' s what we' ve decided. But I 149 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:48,279 don' t want us to be prepared. I don' t see what 150 00:12:48,279 --> 00:12:50,320 you guys consider. I don' t think we' re ready to go 151 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:54,919 to Mars. Notice that NASA sent a crew there and they came in and 152 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:58,080 said this is the atmosphere that' s inspiring. Oh, I don' 153 00:12:58,279 --> 00:13:03,320 t even know what Kim means to smoke or we' ll learn to breathe. 154 00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:16,440 That' s true. It' s just that we' re obsessed 155 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:20,440 with oxygen. We have an addiction because we' re addicted to oxygen, 156 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:24,080 like everybody else does. It' s free, so am I, uh, 157 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,320 and come breathe like no one else' s. Eh now if we 158 00:13:26,399 --> 00:13:28,159 ' re not going to Mars anywhere. The other day, my grandfather was 159 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:33,279 in the hospital with the mask swelling up. Uh, well, I took 160 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:39,200 the mask off one of those muddy ways and I' m grandma if you 161 00:13:39,279 --> 00:13:41,200 ' re not gonna get over it. That' s right, that' 162 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:52,679 s right. What vice do the truth hide from us? Guys, are 163 00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:56,039 you hiding the truth from us? There' s life on Mars. That 164 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,480 ' s something you' ve never been told, but that I know when 165 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:05,960 Mars arrived, they found in a crater of Mars a woman from Cuenca attached 166 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:13,759 to the crater, dressed in the garter singing the jack of the universe, 167 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:22,519 which says so and this is the jack of the universe. He sang it 168 00:14:22,759 --> 00:14:28,639 to you in prose. There in verse and you' re the jack jack 169 00:14:28,559 --> 00:14:35,960 of the cosmos for what we were and what you' re about, and 170 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:39,519 you' re the jack jack of that turn Marta and pluton, which used 171 00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:48,600 to be a planet and now it' s all a jerk. The amazing. 172 00:14:50,039 --> 00:14:54,960 The amazing thing is this really happened. The lady was glued to the 173 00:14:56,960 --> 00:15:00,399 crater and the astronate was floating in gravity h the son of the So how 174 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:03,480 can it be that you do not affect the gravity son, already man, 175 00:15:03,559 --> 00:15:13,559 the tradition that weighs a lot hahaja. Thanks, let' s do the 176 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:18,639 octopus a little good, folks. In any case, in any case, 177 00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:22,559 there is hope. Okay, don' t lose faith because there' s 178 00:15:22,559 --> 00:15:26,120 hope. They say three billion light years from here, because space travels in 179 00:15:26,279 --> 00:15:30,360 light year. Don' t tell me because uh, I think it' 180 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:33,840 s because it' s very repetitive that I' ve seen a piece of 181 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:37,039 the universe. Seen all that means, the Universe is like Murcia. Not 182 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:41,320 that you appreciate the tunnel. You know we can say that the Universe is 183 00:15:41,559 --> 00:15:45,559 a Murcia gif. Hey, we can say something like that. No. 184 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,399 Then the journey of anger is in light year that the light year, because 185 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:52,480 you already know that you can not travel at the speed of light with a 186 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:56,159 photo of your children that says Dad do not run. It' s very 187 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,279 difficult and you can' t get ahead of the light because you can' 188 00:15:58,279 --> 00:16:02,720 t put the flashers on it. But the one- way trip is in 189 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:10,279 light year and the one back is in shadow year. It' s clear 190 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:14,039 no, that' s a year in prison that' s said to be 191 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:15,919 a shadow is a year in prison, the prison that' s a black 192 00:16:15,919 --> 00:16:21,240 hole. Why. Because there are temporary space phases, space is reduced and 193 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:26,120 time becomes longer, unless it is barcenas then you get out earlier. It 194 00:16:26,879 --> 00:16:30,320 ' s a little how it works. Not so, three billion light years 195 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:34,279 away, boys, there' s a galaxy called Alpha Centauri, which has 196 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:40,519 three soles ole and your sea cock three soles. There' s the batium 197 00:16:40,639 --> 00:16:45,200 on the floor You know the electrics There' s no way they do business. 198 00:16:45,159 --> 00:16:52,000 You say I' m going to sunbathe and say what an hour of 199 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,840 sun on an Alfa Centauri beach, uh, three alone at beach time. 200 00:16:55,799 --> 00:17:00,559 That' s a dog year. At least it' s cool. Plus, 201 00:17:00,759 --> 00:17:06,519 all Afters, all Afters to three suns. Of course, the Valencians 202 00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:10,640 go there head- on. You know, they love that. I love 203 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:18,680 it, because that' s what I' m telling you. Alpha, 204 00:17:18,759 --> 00:17:30,000 Centauri Alpha comes from the Latin Alpha and Centauri comes from the Latin of a 205 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,640 hundred Toritos. What it means is that three billion light years from here there 206 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:38,720 are St Fermines, so there is wine, so there is life. Hey, 207 00:17:38,839 --> 00:17:45,079 so just relax. Hey, there' s a lot of people worried, 208 00:17:45,319 --> 00:17:48,960 very concerned about the origin of the universe, who was a creator, 209 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:49,559 it was a big band. I don' t give a shit. The 210 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,279 origin of the mega universe blows. What concerns me is the origin of citizens. 211 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:59,920 Hey, that' s what I' m worried about. To see 212 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:07,079 the truth, honestly good. We' re talking origins. I' m 213 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:12,559 going to talk about mine It' s worth me several years ago before I 214 00:18:12,599 --> 00:18:21,000 was funny, about ten years ago I devoted a lot of time from my 215 00:18:21,279 --> 00:18:22,359 life to the noble art of work and I was working in Barcelona. I 216 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,839 ' ve been in Madrid for ten years. I got to Madrid, I 217 00:18:23,839 --> 00:18:26,799 flipped, I asked for a cane. I can' t say. He 218 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:30,279 asks me for a cane and they put me on a dish with shrimp. 219 00:18:30,799 --> 00:18:34,000 I don' t fuck around. I have not asked for this effect, 220 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:38,960 in Barcelona, at most they put you a napkin za. They tell me 221 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,519 no, it' s not free, I don' t fuck. I 222 00:18:42,519 --> 00:18:47,000 called Catalonia. I' m telling you, it' s true that they 223 00:18:47,079 --> 00:18:57,559 steal our money and spend it on prawns, motherfuckers. Of course, well, 224 00:18:57,759 --> 00:19:00,880 this is an anecdote that happened to me. It' s really why 225 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:07,039 I left my previous job It' s worth something that really happened. At 226 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:11,720 that time I worked in customs, import and export of goods. And one 227 00:19:11,799 --> 00:19:15,160 day he calls my boss and tells me that our most important client, an 228 00:19:15,599 --> 00:19:22,039 Argentine gentleman, brings his dog worth on a plane and I have to go 229 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:26,799 and greet the dog with honors, with the municipal orchestra and two Basques dancing 230 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:32,480 him. The aurresque is worth it I' m serious I' m telling 231 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,799 you, it' s totally true. At that moment I am ready to 232 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,200 get to where the dog is and I see that the dog has arrived, 233 00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:45,000 but that does not participate in its existence what they call it in the world 234 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:55,359 of aviation to arrive in plan Kennedy goes for the others. Come on, 235 00:19:55,599 --> 00:20:00,759 the dog' s dead. Or Vito' s worth caputo and calls my 236 00:20:00,839 --> 00:20:07,079 boss I say Albert, albert A dos is mort in Castellano. Alberto Alberto, 237 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:17,000 the dog has died something my boss tells me can' t be me. 238 00:20:17,039 --> 00:20:21,799 I go near the dog and I apologize, but my boss says this 239 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:26,680 isn' t going. The dead dog. He didn' t answer me 240 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:30,680 straight alive. I wasn' t going to understand myself either Alberto or this 241 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:36,440 dog has a very serious empathy problem. Or he' s dead and my 242 00:20:36,559 --> 00:20:42,279 boss tells me do what you have to do. I say very well, 243 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:51,160 I' ll throw the dance of life around the box and the dog will 244 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:57,599 be resurrected. I' m sorry, but I can' t do anything. 245 00:20:59,519 --> 00:21:03,880 I mean, look, I give you 24 hours, and I, 246 00:21:07,279 --> 00:21:10,119 uh, well, I don' t care if you give me a week. 247 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,440 There' s nothing to do. He tells me to give you six 248 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:18,359 hundred euros. I' m good there. We started talking. Then at 249 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:22,160 that moment I went to what is the State Security Corps in Customs to the 250 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:27,119 customs police I go near them and I say sorry you will not have a 251 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:32,200 German pastor of these that you have that suits you very well with the ka 252 00:21:32,279 --> 00:21:37,319 here. Hey, that he' s been fooled about smelling dope, that 253 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:45,720 doesn' t distinguish MDMA from Hachis anymore, that already for a total thing 254 00:21:45,759 --> 00:21:49,039 that the guy tells me please get out of here immediately. I don' 255 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:52,720 t know what the hell you think this is I totally get out of there 256 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:56,079 saying maemia. I' m totally messing with it. No, and on 257 00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:00,319 the way out to a partner, a co- driver, he comes up 258 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:03,799 and tells me what you want a dog. This is Spain, guys, 259 00:22:04,079 --> 00:22:10,799 uh, I mean yes, yes, yes, I' m totally interested 260 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:15,640 I get money destined to blackmail officials uy bad. I' m telling you 261 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,279 this, maybe I' m in trouble It' s easy. They gave 262 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,880 me money to blackmail officials, but I did what made my clients steal to 263 00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:27,400 keep the money from blackmail, which we now call the People' s Party. 264 00:22:27,599 --> 00:22:38,720 It' s okay for you to understand me to see I' m 265 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:44,519 the germ of all that. It has been me, it has been me, 266 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:55,480 it is worth forgiving, done, thank you, for total forgiveness, 267 00:22:56,039 --> 00:22:59,799 because at that moment we took out a dog, a German shepherd who perhaps 268 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:03,039 were not identical because I did not measure the armhole of the dead dog either 269 00:23:03,039 --> 00:23:04,680 I could not or perhaps. This one was from Cologne and the other one 270 00:23:04,759 --> 00:23:08,599 was from Berlin. Whatever' s not total, I take out the dead 271 00:23:10,279 --> 00:23:12,839 dog and shove the dog alive, because if you leave it inside, the 272 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,599 same thing will throw it away. That' s necrophophilia. It' s 273 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:22,799 not even on the Internet. You know, it' s totally complicated that 274 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,599 the dead dog gets dumped in a trash can. I give you a dignified 275 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:30,160 burial that you already wanted, the victim of Francoism. Hey, thanks, 276 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:38,440 you' d like it and I' ll leave the dog alive It' 277 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,160 s okay here, it' s strong. The next day the client comes 278 00:23:41,279 --> 00:23:45,640 and I, saying look I' m a crack, doesn' t reach 279 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:48,200 the client and gets close to the box. And when he approaches the dog 280 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:52,039 ' s box, the dog starts barking. I' m telling you, 281 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:57,279 another Argentine with surprise cocaine. But when he gets to the box, the 282 00:23:57,839 --> 00:24:03,799 man reaches his hand around his heavy neck and starts screaming, screaming and angry. 283 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:17,000 But what did the dog come dead, quiet, be at bust pace 284 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:25,599 a prefererate. I know it' s hard? I know it' s 285 00:24:25,599 --> 00:24:30,079 hard. The man had brought his dead dog from Argentina to bury him in 286 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:34,160 the garden of his house. So far everything normal doesn' t know what 287 00:24:34,279 --> 00:24:40,559 ' s going on, that it' s illegal for a dead dog to 288 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:45,319 travel if it' s not for food and this isn' t China, 289 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:52,480 or it' s for tashidermia and a German pastor and to be careful of 290 00:24:52,559 --> 00:24:55,960 the dining room, that is, but some asshole like me, for a 291 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:56,599 little bit more money, skipped the laws for that dog to travel. And 292 00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:00,200 then I, for a little more money, skipped the laws to get that 293 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:04,400 dog out. And this, my friends, is a metaphor for capitalism. 294 00:25:04,559 --> 00:25:15,319 Thank you very much. And finally, as the Great Peter Reyes said, 295 00:25:15,799 --> 00:25:19,640 the universe is infinite, but a little narrow. Thank you very much and 296 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:19,640 good night.