Bottled Up Bitches is hosted by a horny Mary couple. Content may include adult
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It's season three. Welcome to Bottled Up Bitches, your favorite sex podcast
with me Rihanna Campbell and Me producer Mana Adam Rihanna. Are you ready for
some hot topics and even hotter guests? Well, you know, I am.
Let's fucking do this. See Horny Bitches. Hi Adam, Hi,
dy ho neighborina. I like that you said that. Yeah, how's your
day going? Uh? Pretty good? Exhausting, it's been a day.
It's been a day. We have so much happening this month. Uh well
January, February, times, um, all the things going on. But
it's going good. Uh. Can we make a fun announcement? Okay,
I don't know what it's being announced. I'm announcing that we are being featured
in the two Soon Erotica Art Show. Yeah it's okay, I'm excited.
That's going to be in March, So we will be up there for two
weekends in March. We're building a little confession booth and it's gonna be so
much fun and yeah, I'm excited to meet people in the industry and just
new people artists, and you know, maybe we'll get some fun guests out
of that. Yeah, it's gonna be a good time. No, I'm
really looking forward to it. Yeah, you've got started on the boothsday and
it made it really real as it sunk in at all. But I'm quite
excited about that. So we've got a lot coming coming down the pipe a
very short amount of time. We Yeah, well, I'm super stoked at
per huge about this episode. We record this episode probably over a month ago.
Yeah, this one we recorded, we recorded a hot minute. Yeah,
it's been a while, so rehearing it with your editing and all that
good stuff just made it all that more exciting listening to it all over again.
We're gonna get to talk to Missy Bender about her swinging lifestyle and her
different companies because she her company hosts swinging events and parties, and it was
a delight learning about that environment and what all goes into it and the prep
work, and it's just a little insight into a world that we truly just
don't know anything about. Yeah, No, I and I think we kind
of bring it up in the in the episode. But there's kind of like
this idea I feel like a lot of people have about the swinging lifestyle,
and it was fun to kind of get a very eye opening like, no,
here's what it actually is and why what all it entails? And it
was just it was an enjoyable episode to learn. It was a good learning
episode. I feel like, oh yeah, it was an eye opening experience.
And I do love that she was introduced via family. She was introduced
via family, and oh yes, that's so funny. Yes, yes,
yes, yes, swinging lifestyle started because of our Yeah, hysterical, which
it sounds worse than Yeah, it sounds worse than Listen to the episode.
Um no, that's just the funnest fact. I love. I love re
listening to that part. Um. But yeah, do you have anything that
you want to announce or anything you'd like to add? No, No,
I can't think of anything. Okay, go check out our patreon. Go
check out the patreon. Yeah, read the blog, read the blog.
Go read the blog, leave a review, leave a review, like us,
subscribe us, tell your friends all that stuff, all the key things.
But without further ado, enjoy this conversation with Missy Bender. If you
hate this show, don't leave a review. They will, They'll convert it.
They have they have previously. So what about you? You have so
many entities. I was squirrelling through your website and read your blog and you
also have Mizzy's boutique and Mindbender Party. So tell me a little bit about
that and how you got into the industry. Oh so I got into it
because my partner, Spencer, who owns Mindbender Parties. All right, well,
no, first, my aunt took me to a swinger's meet and greet
that I did not know was a swingers meet and greet, and so Spencer
happened to be the one throwing the meet and greet and she was like,
oh, you know, this is my friend. And that was it.
And then like I slowly started to understand like where I was and what was
going on because somebody propositioned me to be in a threesome with their and I
was like, I was married and I was in a very complicated situation,
and yeah, I when I was in this environment that I saw, it
was like so free and so just wow, everybody can just kind of be
who they are for a minute. It started to kind of put my plan
on where I was in life like kind of expedited it because I was really
trying to leave my marriage, but I couldn't leave my marriage until my stepson
graduated high school, and so I was like one year away from him graduating
high school before I had gotten into this whole like swinger's lifestyle. And you
know, that night when we went to the meet and greet, I didn't
even really interact with anybody or even really know of like what the swingers lifestyle
was. And it was until a couple days after that event Spencer found me
on social media and started like chit chatting with me, and I don't know,
it was just like a very comforting thing from where I currently was at
the moment, and so I don't know, the universe kind of like worked
in mysterious ways, and I feel like gave me Spencer as this light of
like you could do and be anything that you want to and there's like a
better life out there. And that's like how it all started. Four and
a half years ago. I ended up like really expediting leaving my husband.
I left the day that I took my steps on his road test and he
passed his road tests, and I was up. My goodness, Well,
just how established you look online and on social media. I would never have
guessed that this has been going on for only four years. That's insane.
Well, I have a very corporate background, so I used to again,
the universe works in really weird ways because I worked at a multi billion dollar
international company and supported the c suite. I supported the CEO, the CFO,
the president of North America and all his vps in marketing, and was
integrated in a lot of different kinds of projects and corporate social responsibility and you
know, every aspect of this organization I was super integrated into. And at
the same time that this whole life change of mind was happening, the organization
was moving off of Long Island to New Jersey, and my job position was
being eliminated because they needed somebody to work at the office there they couldn't have,
you know, and I wasn't going to relocate so and I couldn't do
it remotely. So at the same time, when I left my marriage,
I pretty much had my job position eliminated too, like all within the same
period of time, which allowed me to focus like more on this and kind
of just dive right in and I mean, I can keep telling you more
because the boutique became. The boutique really only was created because after I had
finished my what is that called when they give you, oh, severance,
When my severance was over and I had gone to unemployed, say, they
gave me six months severance, which is very unusual. Yea, yeah right.
They my company like really took care of me. And I was so
grateful and so thankful because I, like, emotionally, I was in a
really raw place because when I left, I left my stepson and I lost,
you know, my relationship diminished with him, and it was a whole
reason why I was staying and doing what I was doing was so I didn't
lose him. So emotionally, I was not in a good place. So
I was like, oh, thank you so much for giving me so much
time for me to like personally regroup and figure out what I was doing.
And so when it's time for me to go to unemployment and check out the
unemployment resources, I kind of felt selfish because I was like, here,
he was just so lucky to receive so much severant in my opinion, that
I didn't want to be greedy, you know, And so Spencer was like,
just go and check it out and see what they have to offer.
And it turns out, because of my work history, New York State has
this program that you have to apply to that if you get accepted into it,
you have to create a business within New York State and they don't give
you the financial funds to do it, but they do extend your unemployment thirteen
weeks. But there's so many requirements that you need to produce them. Like
you needed your business plan, you needed your marketing plan, you needed to
show that you were like an actual corporation with your bank bank account. It
was like all these different things and like weekly you had to keep on,
you know, sending in your homework per se. And so I ended up
getting accepted into the program, and that's kind of how Mizzy's boutique was created.
So it's all this really weird universal together of like, thank you so
much for you know, gracing me with such a humble journey. Yeah,
so before we start, I wanted to start off by saying I feel like
swingers is one of those terms that everyone kind of has an idea of what
it is. Well, I had something before that. Okay, what a
cool aunt. Oh yeah, yeah, can we talk about that? Can
we talk about how she took you to Swingers? What was it a meet
and greed or a meet up? Oh? The meet and Greed? Yep?
So what did that conversation look like? What was said? You know?
Because I don't have an aunt, you know? Well, okay,
so my aunt and I we're more of like the best of friends, right
and funny enough, through this whole weird journey that I've been on, our
relationship actually diminished after that, and we only just regrouped kind of this weekend,
and I brought up all of this so I can even share with you
her thoughts. She So, there is this location called Cherry Grove and it
is the LGBTQ community of Long Island. You take a ferry over there,
you can't. There's no cars. Everything is just like super quaint, and
it's it's primarily gay, truthfully, there's more of that, but all inclusive
to everybody. So we would go over there often because we kind of liked
it. You know, people were just super free and just you go to
Cherries and they're just playing eighties music, so you're rocking out, just fucking
having a grand old time. You know, on the water. It's it's
just so great and the people are just so love because they're just so colorful
and creative, and it's just a really great place to be. So when
she said we were going over there, she was like, you know,
my friends having a party, which wasn't an unusual statement. The part that
threw me, though, is when I got in the car, I was
weird. I was wearing a pencil skirt and I don't even know what it
was like is black, just want like one shirt with like this lace thing
over eight? And I get in the car and she was like, where
are you going. I was like, you said, we're going to a
party over in Jerry Grove. What do you want me to be wearing?
Yeah, well she should have told me that. It was more like,
not like that kind of party. I felt so out of place when I
showed up to the ferry dock and I'm seeing all these humans around me,
you know, wearing their summer clothes, hardly dressed and just kind of doing
their thing. And here I am looking like, fucking I'm going, I
don't know, to a corporate meeting. I guess, like I didn't even
know what was happening. I ended up like going and buying different clothes when
we don't know there, So there was there was some hiccups along the way.
But when she started to explain to me what her relationship was with Spencer,
because her and Spencer were really good friends. So when she started to
explain to me, like that's why she felt comfortable, I guess being in
the environment because she knows him really well and felt like he wouldn't bring her
or ask her to do something that would be unacceptably uncomfortable, you know.
And her and I have always been very mischievous together, so, like I
mean from we used to work together and shared an office for like ten years,
and we have done some real shady ass shit together. She's a great
human, very funny, so I tell her all the time. I'm like,
your intro to my story is my aunt took me to a swinger's party
and I have no idea what the fuck was going on. I love it.
She just wrapped and thought it was super funny, and it was like,
that's great, it is it is. It's a good one. Yeah,
It's a wild way to start a story for sure. Yeah, yeah,
I have a few of those stories, there's no easy way to lead
into them. Like I had a childhood cat that was eaten by an alligator.
Yeah, Adams made it clear that I have to watch how I present
that story because it just confuses people. And I don't know another way to
describe how I lost my childhood cat. Yeah. Adam just kind of laughs,
but he's like, you need to stop telling that story. And I'm
like, I don't know another way to ease into the death of my childhood
cat. She got eaten by an alligator. Yeah, it is just what
I just got to pull the band in and just do it. Yeah,
because you lived in like so close to a Louisiana Yeah, like a specific
spot where you know alligators were nearby, and I feel like the most of
the rest of the country is like I didn't even know alligators just roamed my
goad. I'll tell I have been to Louisiana for swingers events, and let
me tell you something. The culture has like the down south in that area
like changed my life. It's so far different than the North. So what
would you say is the difference in the singers community from like the East coast
to the well before before we get quite into that I did. Want to
go back to my question, Um, you know that people have an idea
of what a swinger is, how would you describe what a swinger is or
kind of what that lifestyle is like. Yeah, so the real definition of
a swinger is you have to fully swap and have sex with another husband or
wife. So okay, so that's kind of like the barrier of injury.
Yeah, because like you can be see, this is a this is a
part that's so hard about labels because I don't like labels, right because I
consider myself a swinger, but my goes in so many different variations depending on
who the person is. But you do have like the full on, full
swap swinger who is doing full intercourse. But then you have like the saft
swaps who only do maybe like oral or very simple kind of swapping. It's
not full swaps, so they're called soft swaps, you know. And then
you go into of course, the different I don't know characters. I don't
even know what they're classified genres of fucking swinging. I don't know couple,
you know, hot wife, like what, I don't know what they're called.
There's so many sub credits. Yeah, and layers to things when it
comes to sex and relationships. So I get it. Yep, it sounds
like the foundation of it is swapping partners in that's exactly right, Yep,
yep. It has to be couples, and it has to be yep,
exactly a couple on couple. So how long have you been a swinger?
So? Truthfully, from the second that I met Spencer, I was in
it because he had a partner at the time, which they were working on
some exits of their relationship. But I didn't come in as a triad,
but I did come in as like a second girlfriend per se, so there
were some characteristics of what a traveling trio would look like. But her and
I did not get along like at all. So he found me another couple
that slowly integrated me into the lifestyle that I never physically did anything sexual with
them, but we would spend a lot of sexy nights role in our faces
off, sorry, and you know, just kind of like caressing and just
like kind of just being super chill. And I really appreciated that because it
made me very comfortable and understanding of what an actual swap would look like.
You know, at that time, it was too soon for me, but
from an educational standpoint and understanding what I was getting myself into, it was
the best way for me to experience it without them being really pushy or anything.
It turns out that that same couple unfortunately ended up getting divorced, but
he remained friends with us and became my first full on maile fuck person that
I have, and we ended up having like all through COVID threesomes like every
other night, you know, forever. So for me, it was a
really great experience initially because I was so far comfortable with him from a respect
level that when I was comfortable to fully have sex with another man, it
was a no brainer for me to ask for it to be him because of
the way he was so courteous and lovely initially, you know, So it
made the dynamic like really spectacular, Wow, fun, what a time.
Yeah, it sounds like you guys got to ease into it a little bit,
which I'm sure was what was very kind of expence. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, Because you know, I naturally think about people swinging and it's
just you know, people are diving in and swapping partners. But I've always
been curious about what easy into it and experiencing the shallow and of what swinging
can look like. Yeah, for me, like I don't recommend that,
and so twofold. So that was kind of one of the reasons why my
podcast became so passionate to me when it initially started, because it was more
about being super straightforward and saying, you all are fucking up and you shouldn't
do it this way because you don't understand what it is that you're getting into.
Yes, of course, the initial thought of what you think you're going
to be getting into is not exactly what ends up transpiring. And for me,
you know, mentioning that Spencer had that other partner, she actually ended
up making my life a living hell and outed me to my family and really
went to extreme levels within my business levels, I mean went to every single
one of my partnerships and like really try to. I mean she went hard
for years. She only stopped last year, and what that's like three and
a half years of torture. So for me, I saw so much negativity,
but there's so much positivity that it's like, Okay, yes, there's
negative, negative aspects of everything that is in life, you just have to
be aware of them. I understand what your boundaries are with them, how
much you're willing to contribute to them, and like where you don't want to
go with it. And so it's okay to have the good and bad as
long as we talk about all of it and put it to the side.
You know, a lot of people get into it thinking that they can handle
their emotions, and so like day one, they go and do a swap
and they're like out of their birds and they're not in a good place with
one another. It's because, well, you didn't take a minute and observe
your surroundings that you're in. You're not watching, You're not seeing how they're
interacting. What do the conversations look like, what does this all look like?
It is very silly to play Russian Roulette with your relationship when you don't
know what it is that you're getting yourself into. And so as I became
real strong and passionate on relaying that message because nobody seems to have that conversation.
Yeah, well I would imagine that swingers. You know, education is
pretty hard to come by. So the fact that you're going through it and
kind of cataloging it and sharing your experience as you go is amazing, So
kudos to you. Yeah, because I mean I don't think I'm in a
place for swinging. But we have had conversations about three SOMs and those are
already very tiptoey conversations. So yours is like a times ten why oh why
why? Yeah? Because I'm all for it and Adams letting me conversate about
it, that's the first step. Yeah. Yeah, well I think that,
Um he's like, it's that about us? Yeah, I mean I
think for me, I am not at a place and I don't know if
I ever will be. Like the idea of her being physical with another man
like just makes my skin. What about a woman? Well, you know
I love women. Yeah, maybe wouldn't she gets to just cook up with
the woman and like you watch, that's more on the table. Yeah,
now we're getting somewhere. Well, we love a little fair pe moment because
I know there was a point in time where it was something we didn't talk
about it at all. So we're definitely, you know, babies just kind
of conversating about it. But I do think we would need to and any
couple would you have to have super strong communication to explore something like that.
So it doesn't come between you. Yeah. I always say and stress the
point that you need to have super open communication and it has to be as
transparent as you can possibly get, because you know, if you first off
and then it's not even with your partner initially, it's with your own self.
You have to be really understanding of what it is that you want from
the lifestyle. You know, why do you want to partake in these activities,
what are you going to get from it? And what do these emotions
make you feel? That if your partner asks you why, you're able to
fully articulate what it is that you're looking for and why you're looking for it,
and it makes a conversation so much easier because well, you know your
own truth, you know, and if you feel your own truth and it's
really good for you, there's got to be a way for you to talk
about it and for you to come to a common ground. Maybe not initially,
and maybe you will eventually have to disagree to agree to disagree on some
stuff, but at least you have that wholehearted open conversation because you thought about
it so deeply within before you suggested it. You know, Hey, beautiful
bitches, have you heard of our Patreon yet. This is a really great
exclusive place where you can get two bonus odes a month, monthly live streams,
a private discord to chat with us, and all kinds of bonuses and
extras. You don't want to miss it, so head over to Patreon,
or you can click the link in a description. You can even head to
our website at www dot cricket bunnymedia dot com and click the bottled up Bitch's
icon. Join our Patreon, join the fun, and enjoy all the exclusive
benefits to become a very important bitch. So how does that relay into the
swinging parties? Yeah? How does that correlate? Because I watched a documentary
a while back and it had a CN Sinclaire, and that was the first
person that I was introduced to, you know, seeing someone host or own
a party business. And on the documentary there were a few new couples,
and you know, she was like, oh, I have three new couples,
and I don't know, that's so scary. I don't know if that
would make it easier or make it worse being surrounded by other new couples.
Sure, yeah, I gotta say that sounds like dump jumping into the deep
end for sure. Yeah, I I think it really depends on the location
and again, what you're looking to get out of the night. If you
put yourself in a position where you're like, you know what, I'm going
to go to this club and I'm just going to check it out because I
want to be super open minded to whatever it maybe that I see that I
experience around me, you know, and not having any expectations about what you
will see or what you're going into. I think number one is super important
to like laying out the night. But you got to start somewhere, right,
so eventually you are always going to be new at some sort of location.
And each venue or group or host each has their own set of characteristics
maybe you'll call it for what their community brings. You know. Some are
in under you know, fifty categories. Some are only super fit humans,
some are who the fuck knows what they are. There are so many different
things, you know, for us with my mendor parties, once I started
to see that there's a land of misfits out there, and I mean not
by they don't know what they are. You know, they want to swing,
but you know, are they ANUBI yet? Well, they don't know
because they haven't really experienced anything yet, but they really like being in the
environment because they like to be super sexy, or maybe they like to be
naked. Maybe they just like to look at the females because you're a chicken.
You really just like, when do you get the opportunity to get a
sexual vibe or something? You know. That was one of my things that
I really loved and appreciated about the events. When I was exploring, you
know, being able to be bisexual, I was like, Okay, this
gives me a safe place to read the energies of other ladies and kind of
see what that even just feels like, because it's way different than with a
man, you know what I mean. So, yes, it's intimidating going
because you have no idea what you're getting yourself into. But I think if
you keep an open mind, you'll find that it's really really lovely. And
our events specifically are open to everybody. We allow whether you're super you know,
veteran, you're very new, your kink, your swing, your polly,
it don't matter you. Everybody is welcome and it is a lovely evening.
Is so good. So what makes a successful party you know, a
night a party where went off without a hitch to me, When you see
the dance floor super hopping, you know that it's a good night because you
could write because anytime you see people super dance, like dancing hardcore, you
know that that vibe and the energy is like flowing through that facility like nobody's
business. And so in that regard, that's when I know that it's going
really well and there was a flow. Right people get there and they start
to have a drink and they're kind of like getting a little bit, you
know, into it and stuff. So you want the music to get people's
bodies going. And then probably around eleven thirty twelve o'clock people start to go
into the playrooms and they go and play for like an hour or so,
and then once maybe like one one fifteen comes until two am, they're out
the air fucking dancing their asses off again, and you're like, check,
we did it. Yeah, no, I get it. I'm a I'm
also a wedding planner. So that's something that the DJ and I will immediately
sync up about is about the music and trying to figure out, you know,
is this crowd going to be a dancing crowd because it makes the night
go by so much faster, even for the vendors, you know, watching
people dance, it's so much fun. Yeah, so dancing is always a
good indicator that the night is going well. Mhmm yeah. So so kind
of question I have and kind of where my brain goes is about the logistics
of these parties, like like finding a venue. Uh yeah, like that
that's another one. Yeah, kind of more where my head was AD was
like, how do you ensure that they are sa in kind of a health
health wise? Yeah, oh, so good questions. So we only partner
with one establishment right now, and it is the oldest running dance club in
Providence, and he is super on his game with everything. So I do
know that that facility in general is top notch, you know when you go
to the swingers clubs and stuff. Though sometimes I don't like to sit on
the couches and sometimes I'm like, what are doing? You know, like
I stand a lot in a lot of locations because I don't really know.
You know, we have partnered and collaborated with a lot of different places across
the East Coast, and I can tell you all the property managers or club
owners are super passionate and in what it is that they're doing, and you
know there are clubs and all that stuff, so you know, in good
faith manner, you would have to think that they have all their ish in
order. Um, but you know that's not my part of the business to
explore. I don't mind bender parties brought to you by Chlorine every Yeah.
Yeah, that's why when we travel, we travel and we bring all of
our own stuff. So we have we bring up all our own air mattresses,
we bring our entire dungeon, we bring our own sheets, and you
know, we do all of our own you know, sheet washing, and
so we come full shop stop. We can go to like a full on
meadow and set up a huge ass party for you in any aspects, so
we don't let it rely on anybody. At your core, you're a party
planner. You're saying there's a chance. Yes, listen girl, yes you
reach out. And That's where I'm going to fall into. All of this
is just planning the party. You know. Honestly, it's really great because
you know, I don't really go back into the playrooms like all that often.
I don't hardly, we don't really play at our events, either simply
because you know you're working and god forbid, you know, the d just
the DJ stops playing for some reason, or who the fuck knows, you
know, anything can happen, so we try and be present at all times.
So it's like very few and far in between that we do actually get
to have intimate moments. But yeah, for me, I don't even know
why I was saying that I got off track. I appreciate that though.
So how often do you get propositioned while you're there NonStop? Oh yeah,
constantly, yep, NonStop with those eyelashes. And I'm a little bit silly
right now too, so they're probably like even more like, oh where I
love it. They brought up sheets and an air mattress, and that's not
something that I considered at all. I didn't consider any additional setup, you
know, other than just chairs in a dance floor. Like I thought about
how people might canotle and such, but in my mind, they're just going
to leave together to another location. Yeah, I didn't think that there would
be any additional setup booths, and just like any other club setup where people
connudle, there's well yeah, and there's like different levels to the event.
So your basic meet and greet, like I initially went to that was you
just go in a very vanilla setting and there's no sexual swap in any kind
of manner unless you do find something private like off location or whatever. And
then you do have the on site play, which is what we bring to
the table, or if you were to go an actual swingers club, that
would be like an on site. And then there are the complete hotel takeovers
where you have like a whole weekend of shenanigans where you're just on site and
anything goes for the entire weekend. And it's great, my goodness, how
fun. Yeah, like a little bit, yes, a little retreat moment.
I love a good retreat, like a little convention vention just gonna it's
gonna be legit with lanyards and everything. And and it's true because you will
find education classes at the at the hotel takeovers. I love that. Yeah,
you can. It's like that's like a whole thing. Yes, And
they do usually have like some kink side and swinger side because you have a
lot of crossover, so you can find some like education on the BDSM and
then you know some you know a lot of times it will be like a
specialty thing where it's like a wax kind of thing or maybe sensual massages.
But there's different aspects that you that happen, you know, And so it's
really nice when you go to the hotel takeovers because it's a very different kind
of feel. It's just so fun. That is so cool. I didn't
know things like this existence. So how do you find a convention like a
hotel taker? Yeah, that's that's a good question, like or even just
in general, say, I'm listening to this episode and I'm like, oh,
I want to like kind of see the swinger scene or maybe even put
myself into it. I'm interested in it. How do i as, like,
you know, look up, say, how do I find one of
these parties? Say, living in Austin or whatever city? Is there some
kind of like code words? Yeah? I mean if you just put that
in Google, Google will tell you you do swingers party near me? Okay,
easy, we'll bring it on up. Okay, So the word is
swing mhmm. Well that's cool because I've seen other places use different words.
So that's neat. You know that there isn't a specific terminology or different terminology
to find the fine parties. Yeah, yeah, a lot of people use
like upside down Pineapple now, so you can, you know, google upside
down Pineapple and I'm sure you'll find a ton of stuff too. Yeah.
Well, I love looking at your parties and other people's parties, and I
am obsessed with how there is always a theme. It's just so fun.
Swingers love to dress up. Well, I love over a theme. I
feel like it's such a good icebreaker. Yeah. So you know, if
you're not dressed up, it can make things a little awkward. But I
imagine it that everyone's dressed up in a fun outfit. You know, they're
on different sides of the room, you know, trying to figure out how
they're going to meet in the middle. But if you throw a costume into
the mix, it's so much easier. Yeah. And if you want to
go back to your initial question on what swingers alike across the country, so
down South, I find that they really love their outfits, Like they fucking
handmake these things, and like for weeks are making these outfits. You know,
up north, we're like Amazon, what can we get? You know,
and like nothing, you don't see outfits up here like you do down
out. I'll say that for sure, And because we're so deprived, it
is yeah, you know, like sometimes I think to myself, you know,
I really want one of these extravagant costumes that they have, but I'm
like, I do not have the time to sit there in glue on every
fucking gem to my bra or like whatever. If I'm like so impressed that
they come up with these remarkable things, and then I'm envious. I'm like,
will you go, girls, And truthfully, a lot of the men
are making the outfits for the ladies. Yeah. Yeah, that's a conversation
we have often to add Adam to learn how to he knows how to sew.
I want him to make me things well. Because in August, we
went to Boston to go to the Lady Gaga concert. At the time when
she announced this tour, she wasn't coming to Texas, so that was a
little disappointing. So we you know, we went to Boston, you know,
about a month before the show. Though she did add some Texas states.
That was a little disappointing, you know that we could have just seen
her here, but nonetheless, we had fun. So we go to the
tour. I've been to every single Lady Gaga tour, and the best part
of it is the fashion. So I bring this fool on honey Burdett purple,
you know, bondage outfit. I'm feeling good. I'm double cheeked up.
On a Tuesday. We're on the train, I'm the only one dressed
up, and I'm like, okay, well, I'm sure as soon as
we get closer to Fenway Park that's when we'll start seeing more people. And
sure enough, we got there and no one was dressed up. I'm definitely
the only one out, you know, in this full ass outfit, looking
looking like a snack. But I did get the attention of this Asian couple
and they didn't speak a lot of English, but they did ask me for
a picture, so I made their trip. They to them, Yeah,
no one d That's the moment when you own it and you're like, I'm
the most badass motherfucker here. Yeah. I was just strutting around. I
mean, I didn't have a choice, but it was interesting. I was.
I was like, wow, because Massachusetts was very progressive. I saw,
you know, pride flags hung up in front of churches, and you
know, in Texas, we would never you know, we hate people and
women and gay people. You guys have one of the biggest um like events
down there. Purgatory happens in Texas. What's purgatory? What's that? Yeah?
You wish to look it up. It is like I have, like
I've heard of a lot of events, but that one seems to be like
the most intense, the most intense. And it's a couple I think it's
like a weekend or maybe it's a couple of days long. But oh yeah,
that's in Texas. You know where in Texas? I don't, but
I do know that you have a lot of a lot of social swingers down
in Texas. It's like a really oh yeah, yeah, Adams looking it
up right now, so invested. So is it multiple days? Is it
a convention? What is purgatory? Yeah? I mean I wouldn't really reference
them as conventions. I just look at them as like huge parties, you
know, because the people literally are party in the entire weekend long. And
uh yeah, that's pretty much it. It doesn't find some of the stuff
that's on the itinerary, I'm sure, but yeah, yeah, it doesn't
surprise me. Well, because we're so deprived, we're so deprived. So
when we have the opportunity to get dressed up, you know, go all
out. Our titties will be out. It's happening. Well, specifically,
we have Texas Renaissance Festival down here and it is all TNA like. I've
never seen more titties and ass in my entire life. I don't know if
it's because Massachusetts is so progressive so they have access to their rights all the
time, or if it's because it's cold there, but we don't. We're
not used to that. Did you find it? Oh, each down,
hold it down. That's where I'm from. Yeah, what are the dates?
It's usually a lot of This is last year. Yeah, July thirteenth
through the seventeen. Oh my goodness, it's so much fun. Thank you
for telling us because we would have never found that. Oh yeah, yeah,
you guys have a lot of stuff in your area. What a time.
Well, that makes sense. I've heard of a few different things and
they're all in Houston. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense to me.
I feel like Houston. Having lived in both Houston and Austin, I feel
like Houston's a little more progressive, at least as far as that kind of
stuff. Goes Yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah. So are you from
the East Coast? Born and raised, born and raised New York. My
whole life Long Island so fun. We're making our way and since I've met
Spencer, I've toured, like, we've traveled a lot of different places in
the East Coast, which has been great. Well being on the East Coast.
What is your favorite city or experience. It's definitely Providence. Well okay,
so yeah, Rhode Island is where we host. Rhode Island is like
the melting pot of like all the surrounding states, because when we go to
Rhode Island, we pull from like New Hampshire, like all the way up
as far as New Hampshire to like Pa and kind of funnel in from all
different avenues, and the people there are just so much better than New York.
I'm sorry. New York is just nobody wants to be in New York
for anything, Like I love New York, but you can't. You can't
swing here in New York. Sure somebody can, but I just you know,
the people aren't for me. They're just so much kinder and more inviting
and accepting in that area, and it's great. Best experience though, or
most memorable would be the first time we went to Louisiana. We went to
risque lifestyle parties, so they're just like a hop, skip and jump away
from you. That changed our lives. I think it was we had just
gone down there after one of the hurricanes had just massively hit the area,
and there was some like mixed emotions from the community goers and you know,
some that were coming to the hotel takeover because you know, they were scheduled
too, but then they kind of had to because that was like where they
were going to get their fresh water and shower and different things, and so
there was a mixture of things going on, and I think just the culture
in general and individuals and the stories and the way they spoke of just the
area and each other. It was it was way different than anything that we've
ever experienced, and that will always be probably one of the top moments down
there. Yeah. Yeah, Louisiana is specifically New Orleans there. They're so
they're very friendly and very welcoming, and I think just very non judge mental
and very just like you do you and and be who you are. Like
they're they're very friendly and nice there. From what I hear they like the
people on the river like to give. I was about to say the same
joke, but like actually say the work. Uh well, I did have
one one more question, Um, could you tell us about your blog and
what that's all? Oh? Yeah, I love your blog. Oh so
the blog. The blog consists of so many different things. I really try
and keep the day in the life going as much as possible because I find
that people find it, you know, to be fun. So I try
and recap our events with as much kindest things with as possible because you know,
like nobody really understands what goes into the setup and stuff. So there's
a lot of fun captures. Um, So we do that. And then
there's my Mornings with Mizzy show that is all lifestyle based and there a lot
of it is based on communities questions, whether it's they need to hear my
response because they know it's going to be honest, or they just need a
confidential person to speak their words for them, and it's really kind of cool.
So that happens right now. I'm on a lot of interviews and stuff,
so that's kind of what's up there now. And then I post step
On in regards to Mizzy's boutique, like some of the new items that I'm
working on or you know, sales, different things like that. So I
try and encompass all of everything that we're doing to kind of just like keep
it all flowing. Well, just the fact that you've done this and for
short years is very fun and very motivational. God dang, girl, you
really done did that. I also love that you're kind of sharing this with
the world and like presenting it out there for people. I always find that
these groups that are maybe you know, quote unquote not normal or whatever the
term you want to use, you know, the outliers, you know,
slightly off kiltered from what society says is the normal way to do things right,
I always find those are the most welcoming and just kind of uplifting groups.
They're always like so so happy to have you join or whatever. So
it's great that you're you're presenting this out to people so that if they are
interested, they can kind of get a better understanding and know that if they
do want to explore this, then they'll just be extremely welcomed into these into
these groups. Yeah, yeah, it's true. Thank you for saying that.
And you know, I mean, I just don't want anybody to ever
feel bad, right, I mean, you've felt bad, I'm sure one
day in your life, and you know what that feels like. Nobody should
feel that way, you know, And that was always like my mission to
give somebody a place where they can just feel free for a second and not
feel that way, because the world is very judgmental, you know, going
back to initially when you were like, what is the classic tion of swinger?
You know, people automatically hear that word and they're already in like a
grotesque, you know, kind of mindset on like what's going on? They
think automatically these huge orgies and just like you know, I don't gross unprotected
sex or something like, I'm not sure what the interpretation is, but I
know that it's super negative. And that's it. When you go and you
meet the individuals, they are just people who have desires inside themselves that are
not afraid to actually speak them because we all live every day with little things
inside of us that we wish we can say out loud. But for some
odd reason, you're fearful of whatever that judgment is going to be brought upon
you, and nobody should live that you should be able to live your most
free, open, honest self because we all have those things, and so
yeah, you should come over to our side. Yeah, well, I
really appreciate and let that you're just providing all us education and resources, because
even anything that I present to Adam or even act like I have information about
quote unquote, it's it's not from a trusted source. You. It's the
most I've learned about swinging is probably what I've seen in movies, and everything
that they show is so aggressive. It's like a couple walking into a party
and they didn't know it was a swingers party and and they're being really aggressive,
being like, let me come have sex with us. You know,
it's just like really intense. It never comes off as friendly as it really
is. It's just very it's almost like a joke of like walking into a
singer's party. So I love hearing that there are conversations and there's a lot
of communication and safety, and that it's just a full on environment of like
minded people versus you know, just like a slap in the face experience.
Thank you. I'm really appreciative that you had me on your show so we
can share it with more humans. Out there who are just curious or you
know, who had no idea but maybe now are curious, so we'll see
it's something to explore. I mean, that's kind of our overall theme of
the show is, you know, just having conversations, even if you know
you might not become a swinger overnight, but being able to just discuss something
and discuss something new is step one. And like I said, that's our
entire mission, is just communicating what you want to try and explore with your
partners. So you know, you may not actually do a swingers party,
but at least have those conversations of what you're wanting in the bedroom. You
know that writes without embarrassments, to talk about your needs in the bedroom without
feeling embarrassed, especially females, where it's okay for you to explore your sexuality
and be as open and free as you want and nobody's going to judge you
for it. Well, because even Adam is learning a lot, you know,
the last few months or this season, we got some fun new toys
from fun Factory, so shout out to them, because when it comes to
male toys, I only think about a fleshlight and then an ass like a
literal, literal ass a real dollar or something. Yeah, so learning about
male toys has been really fun. You know, they sent us a few
and one of them it was like, uh, what was it. It
was like it's called the Manta. Yeah. It was like this little hook,
kind of rubbery hook thing that goes around the penis. Yeah, it's
almost like a I don't want to call it a rubber hand, but it
is like a silicone situation that you put your penis in and it vibrates,
and it was really fun. It's really cool, and uh, you know,
male sexuality isn't something that is talked about very often, so I'm just
excited that he's exploring all. It's okay man, if you're bisexual too,
just putting that out there. It's okay to have your little butt hole touched.
It's okay. Yeah, I know. I mean, you know,
like I don't really insert anything into anybody because of my nails. But every
once in a while, you know, Spencer gets like this little like let's
you know, try this, or let's you know, let's try that and
figure it out. And it makes me happy, right because if you're comfortable
with the people that you're with, that you're open to trying anything out is
great. You know when men often feel intimidated by women wanting toys in the
bedroom, Well, I'm sorry. There's a lot of stuff that you can
do with toys, and shame on you for feeling embarrassed or you know,
not good enough or whatever that emotion is that you carry with it, because
toys are great. They're great. I always say that toys are our friends,
not yes, I love them. Well, did you have anything else,
Adam, No, I think I'm good. Well, thank you again
for coming on the show. I was so excited when you responded to my
Instagram. I was like, this is so excited to talk to Missy.
Yeah, this will be great, and you know, we can continue to
cross collaborate and see if we can get some crossover in our community since we're
kind of on different sort of different coast, different different time zones for sure,
So let's start the grinds on helping each other out. Yeah, so
where do you want people to find you? Missybender? Dot com would be
the best place, and then every place on social media is just Missybender,
so you can't miss me. This was great. Thank you so so much
for having me, this was really enjoyable, perfect, and you can find
all of this in the description of the episode. But thank you again for
coming on and talking and teaching us all about parties and swinger lifestyle, and
to all of our awesome listeners, Stay horny. If you enjoy today's episode
of Balled Up Bitches, be sure to rate and subscribe wherever you listen to
your podcast to join in on more of our conversations and fun. You can
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on Twitter, and write in your sex capes anything you want to share with
the team at bottled up Talk at gmail dot com. Cover art for bottled
Up Bitches is created by Winston Gambro. Episodes are produced and edited by Rihanna
Campbell and Adam Lewis. This has been a Cricket Bunny production. Stay Horny, Bitches,