Welcome to the two seventeen Recovery broadcast. If you don't make mistakes, you
won't learn. With your host Corey Winfield, you know how you know fish
as bad as you can't put it on pizza and special guests. Justin Burke
I said something about that to our master radio broadcaster and he said that he
didn't hear nothing. And Mitchell O'Brien, I think to introduce people you should
tell them a little bit about a little bit about ourselves. Got your ass.
It is the tenth of Juila twenty twenty four. My name is Corey
Winfield, I'm Justin Burt. Now, I am Mitchell Old, Brian and
Mitchell Old. We didn't be introduced my shield a little bit of Mitchell O'Brien.
How guys doing I worked it that day? Yeah you did? WHOA,
that's what we call it mispronunciation. There's no way that's a word.
It's called burking it dull affocated. Wow, I'm done with you guys already.
You actually had me questioning one day. I'm like, is that really
how you say it? Like, no, it's not, and I like
say it over and where I was like, oh yeah, it's tremendous.
Yeah, So how you guys doing good and you sober still? Yeah,
Yeah, we're doing good. I'm feeling way better today. Good. Yeah,
you had a headache or something. You had some migraines and a migraine
on I e't remember Friday, Saturday, something like that. Damn. Maybe
a Sunday. But either way, it just kind of hung over into the
other days. So I was talking to somebody else's migraines, is like,
yeah, it's called a migraine hangover. We'll hear it for a couple hear
it. You're gonna have it for a couple of days. You have some
brain fog. And I was trying to fast for health and spiritual reasons for
the last week or through last week, and that's kind of carried it over,
and I was eating minimalistically, and then I don't think my body liked
it. It was almost going on because they ate some meat yesterday and today
I feel great, so well, you know, I hope that the religious
part of that still works for you, because now you're eating beef again.
I eat that beef, and some religions don't allow beef. Some religions don't
don't allow pork, right, Yeah, some religions don't allow fish. Everybody
has their own. What Yeah, fish is accepted all not the one that
I'm practicing. It's the shellfish, and then that one, and then some
don't allow you to eat goats, and there's another religion that only you can
eat goats. I'll make this stuff up. We're gonna have to fact check
this guy. Maybe I do make it up, but who knows. Man,
there's lots of religions and lots of things going out there. Whatever works
for you is what I suggest that you do. So I'm glad that's working
out for you. Myself, I had to switch to a different diet of
foods, and I'm not saying I'm on a diet. I'm just saying,
like eating healthier. Yeah. The cake at Costco they have like this bowtie
cake and it's so good. It's the best cake ever. It's the only
cake I'll eat. It's so good. And instead of just throwing it out,
there's like a little silver left. Marnie puts it in like a tupperware
container and then sets it right on the top shelf over to the left,
so you open it to get milk or anything. Bread, on my chicken
there it is just Ni Corry. Yeah, so sugar, I guess time
being sugar and for real. And since I've been on this new eating habit
thing, I eat a bowl of oatmeal in the morning and some wheat toast
with some no sugar jelly, which I prefer, and I've not felt nauseous
all day. You guys have heard me complaining for months, probably I don't
even know how long, probably a year, I don't know. I'm sure
my whining and complaining this is up another level. I just ignore it anymore.
I felt like it's been doing better. Yeah, so I think the
whole key because I was like, well, I just won't eat breakfast,
and that wasn't really the right way to go because then I get here and
I start feeling nauseous and I would just start shoving anything in my mouth,
and then we have snacks here at the office that aren't something that I should
eat. So I don't know. I was telling you in the kitchen here
in the office that I feel less bloated, you know, and You're like,
well, here's why, because sugar bloat you there's science behind it.
I saw it on Facebook. Yeah, well I can't believe everything you see
on Facebook. Ye well, this was a tangible science experiment. It or
they took different like beakers in the laboratory and put different there's this kind of
acid that simulates stomach acid. Then they put different kinds of proteins and sugars
in it to signify different kinds of foods, and then a balloon on top,
and different foods react with the acid, and like sugar makes a lot
of gas and it what blows the balloon up, and that's why you feel
bloated inside. So that's what he told me, and I said, yep,
that sounds about right, Mitchell. Yep. I didn't have to see
it on Facebook. I believed what he said because it I feel less bloated
and I don't feel nauseous. And yesterday I forgot my sandwich. My lovely
wife made me a chicken sandwich and some cups some fruit, and I forgot
it. I remember you saying that. But I didn't go crazy. I
wasn't all like, hey, I'm starving food. I'm like I would do
before. So I think it's working out, but it's that starting out is
the hardest part of it. And I've talked about this many times in this
podcast, and it's the same thing man, with change in your life,
with drinking or using drugs. It's different at first because it's difficult because you're
changing and you're not getting what you want. Like, obviously, I want
to be around in thirty years for Parker, I have sun. I want
to be around for thirty more years. You know. That'll put me at
seventy five. Seventy six sounds cool. If I can live a few more
years after that, and that's even better. But if I don't change the
way that I'm eating and change these things, I'm not going to be that.
So that's long term what I want. When I open the fridge and
I see that cake, that's short term what I want and you have to
battle that. And it's the same thing with people that are using drugs,
and yes alcohol is a drug. They open the fridge and they see that
beer. Oh, I want that now. Now they do have a long
term goal. A lot of times people don't, but they might want to
be around to be a grandpa. Who knows. But if that is something
that they want to achieve, then they have to look at that beer,
look at that drug, and go. You know, maybe I should not
do that. And it gets easier every time I open the fridge to go
Nope. And on the other side, because we've got like the double door
things is fruit, you know, So I just need to open the other
door and look at that way. And I think you should not have the
beer in your fridge, or maybe or maybe take that little slivery cake that
your lovely life put in your side of the refrigerator next to all yourself.
That's not my size, and just put it in the trash and just put
the container in the sink and she'll never know. Hold on, wait,
okay, we don't have room for this kind of negativity. No, we
don't. What do you mean negativity? Just throwing away a piece of cake.
Martie can have cake, she can eat. That's her cake, bro.
She didn't put it aside for me. But it's just it's taunting me.
It's taunting me. But she might want it, so you trust me.
Marti throws stuff away like she's the queen of it. And so when
she leaves something there, it's very intentional. And you're not on your conspiracy
theory of what's happening anymore. You're not on, she's trying to kill you
with all these sugars, not the diabetes. Right, Well, well that's
where I was getting at, like he's But here's the thing, though,
it's my choice. I can't blame it. Like in joking, I can
say she's trying to kill me because it does appear that way. But I'm
the one who has to pick up the fork in the spoon and eat it.
You know, I have that choice. She's not tying me up in
the basement shoving cake down my throat, not that that's a fantasy or anything,
but just dribble it down my chin, maybe try to lick it off.
I want some of that. But I'm just saying it's my choice.
I really wish I wasn't such a visual person. And to eat the ice
cream, to eat the cake, to eat the pie, whatever's there,
it's my choice. So I have to make that choice every time, just
like if there was a beer in there, which there wouldn't be. There's
no alcohol in our home. There are people who marry people who say they're
in recovery, and they'll marry someone who's not in recovery. Kudos to them.
You know, Bob, the guy who painted our home was like that.
He's like, yeah, my wife has a bottle of line. I'm
like, I don't know how you do it. I would drink it one
day. I could sit here and tell you that I'm the strongest person,
that I can resist everything, and no one day I would drink it.
If there was a bottle of vodka in the freezer, I would drink it.
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I would, I guarantee
you. So that's why there's no vodka in there. And that's why when
I was looking for a person that I could marry, I wasn't looking for
someone who was not in recovery. It's just not fair to them, you
know. For me, it's just like it's like not fair for me to
tell Marty you can't have that cake around. She can have that cake around.
It's not going to be stronger and she better to eat it. And
that's the good thing with food is it goes bad? Should we take that?
How long that cake stays there? I feel like he has more resolves
than you do. Yeah, I'm not eating it. It'll be common for
the weekend. She'll eat it'll throw it away, But that's her cake.
Man, so she can do it. But it's not like a bottle
of vodka that never goes bad. You know, you throw that in a
freezer and it'll be there six months. And I could be fine six months,
but that one day have a bad day, or Justin does something that
really pisses me off. Or Mitchie drive me nuts doing something that I'm like,
what the fuck? You know what's going on? Or kim her in
there too, or a little Parker, maybe he spits up on my good
shirt or Doodoo. Is that that green like yellowish, the one that doesn't
come out of anything. Yeah, yeah, maybe he ruins my good shirt
with that. I'm like, ah, but again that's why we don't have
vaca in the home. But the food will go bad, the food will
spoil. So that's something that it's just short term, you know, just
walk past it, get some fruit. And I still do eat like whipped
cream, love the whipped creams. Yeah. I know there's sugar in that,
but it's still better than eating ogre in it. Most of it these
days is mostly sugar. It's like two grams of sugar teaspoon and I get
like a tablespoon and just that's such a low mass thing that it's like two
grams of sugar, two point one grams of everything. Anyways, what I
was gonna say is you gotta what I try to do is it's kind of
changed the short term. The short term, we want that sliced cake,
right, But also in the short term, I don't want to feel bloated.
I want to wake up in the morning and when I when I eat
high protein, and I do, I do something kind of it's like a
keto carnivore mixture, so high in the protein. The red meat goes really
well because I struggle with iron deficiency. And then some grains and some vegetables,
and then I do little snacks here there because it's just not easily obtainable
to do that perfectly all day. But I have a Nutra grain bar and
I tell me, tell myself that that's grains. But I looked at that,
I was like, oh, hell no, Like I can only eat
the little popcorn. But when I do start to eat more on that diet
style that I've I've chosen, I wake up the next morning and I feel
stronger, I feel better, I have more energy. I don't have any
brain fog, like it's just all these different things. That cake sounds really
awesome, but I'm gonna have gut issues. I'm just gonna feel bloated.
I'm gonna feel a lethargic fatigued the next day, and it just it sucks.
There's an analogy there for what I was drinking too, because it was
the same choice. But that's what I'm that's my sober people problems. But
the other day you said that you didn't have that guilt with it, because
I had the guilt the fact that, like, I feel guilty that what
I'm doing to myself will affect my family. You know, that's the guilt
part of it. You know. The shame is just like, oh I'm
fat and people are gonna call me fat and gross or whatever, like,
oh, I feel shame that I hate that and why did I made that
bad choice? So I would feel both those And you're like, nah,
I don't really do that, but you just feel bloated. Yeah, I
think you're like, No, I don't feel guilty or shame. I just
don't like feel bloated. I think I need to work on that because I
think I should feel same for that. But I was so unhealthy and about
to already die that I am so much more healthy now, and you're just
like, but I'm like, there's a margin for error and there this cake's
not going to put on three hundred pounds today, so I mean it takes
two days to you know. So I heard, yeah, but I don't
know. It is affecting me to where I feel better every day. So
I think that's a good choice that I made. And I think the hardest
part of it is over with just that. Man, I want that.
And we have like little Hershey chocolate things around and I'll pop out of my
mouth for once a while. But again I would eat a bowl of ice
cream, you know, and it just it's just not good for you.
And pie that Marti would make and just make bad choices. And even the
snacks here you think, oh, it's just a snack, but when you
eat three or four of them, you know, and then you go home
you have a big dinner and whatever. But yeah, it's just you gotta
be I don't want to say accountable, but you have to be mindful but
what you're doing and the end results and if you really want, you know,
if I really didn't want to be around when Parker was thirty. Then
I can just do whatever I want, eat whatever I want. But you
know, I don't have to go to the gym every morning at four am.
Yeah, I quit doing that obviously, And I don't, you know,
need to like start running marathons or anything like that. But once I
can get some weight off and then I'll start feeling better physically, then it'll
be easier for me to walk around the black or if we wanted to go
to the park and have exercise hour, you're actually go outside where there's bugs
in the fall when it's nice and chilly out. Oh yeah, it was.
It was because that was part of my recovery journey, was you know,
I was so physically unhealthy that I was walking with my pre recovery coach
and it wasn't a lot nicer in the spring fall, even in the winter
when it wasn't super icy on the trail over there. But I feel and
I'm gonna this is gonna sound like an attack a little bit, obviously,
don't want it to. Well, any time anything starts out with that,
it's automatically what you just said, it's not going to be. I feel
if I could walk the Civic Center when I was four hundred and fifty pounds
that you guys could handle it. Now, tests I feel like that was
an attack. I don't want it. Sorry, it was got Yeah,
I just it really sucked. And and you guys are we're all all heavy
men here in this in this room, but you guys weren't aren't at that
stage where I was. Obviously, if I'm going to bring it up against
you, you got to use my own voice against me. I understand,
Yeah, I can, I'll take it. That was like one of those
comments where I'm not trying to be rude here, but I don't know,
it was a bit different. No, no, sorry, it's fun to
play with drops. But now, as you were saying, what happened with
your recovery coach, he moved to a different agency and then I followed him
to there, and then I think he we kind of fell out of touch.
So do you do that with your recoveries only when they don't want to
talk to me? So you didn't you didn't want to talk to him anymore?
No, I did, and we reached out every once in a while,
and then eventually, you know, I was I was talking to him
until you know, into working here. This is his name, Jonathan Boyd
or something. Yeah, he's a good guy. He might have moved back
to Mississippi Arizona. Okay, it's close, but he might be here.
I don't know. We're Facebook friends and we like each other stuff every once
in a while, and so we're just more like peers now. Well,
I mean I guess we were before, but yeah, because now you're a
recovery coach officially with the state even Yeah, what's up? Are you allowed
to have recovery coach? Should you be his recovery coach? Now? I
feel like we talked about that you should put him in the RDP. I
know that recovery coaching was like his side thing. He has a business with
his wife, Yeah that they do a small business, so it's like a
catering thing. I thought you're gonna say camera thing. I want to say.
He was one of the first state certified ones around Traverse City. He
was one of the first yeah if I remember right, because I worked at
the same agency that he left at Cathol Human Services. Yeah, you can
say they like them. They're people over there. I took his role when
he left. Oh big choose the fill and actually not really. He's just
kind of a small guy. Whoa, but Sarah told me like he was
one of the first people to actually take the state training when it first came
out. Hig, I don't know. She's the clinical supervisor over there.
Oh i've met her, yes here, yep. Nice woman, Yeah,
very nice woman. Yeah. Yeah, well who really cares about our employees
just as much as you do. Really, Yeah, that's awesome. Yep.
I mean I have no complaints working for them now the other place before
that, can you say the thing? Yeah? I can. I got
a reminder today about paydays. Reminder of payday is coming up? Yeah,
oh you have a reminders setting your phone to the pay No, No,
it's an email that comes through that. I thought. I thought he sent
you a message. The program we use, it's like yeah, yeah about
that. About that? I think you can get around to it. It's
like three buttons I need to click. But it's tough. It takes a
lot of my day. Up, I need to payroll. Yeah, such
a bummer. I got three day process. It's whole sober thing. Actually,
this whole sober thing is working out pretty freaking well. Yea, and
I would have it's really yeah, I mean from where I was at,
you know, to where I'm at now, just spiritually, just I don't
know, it's just it's really working out, you know. And it's not
just because I'm here talking with you guys stay in this podcast, but I
mean everything, you know, from being married to having a child, like
all these things I've dreamed of and wanted. And you know, this podcast
has over nine hundred episodes. We have the most episodes about recovery in the
world of any podcast, which I still is mind blowing. And a guy
came in yesterday, but he Tim came in and he was talking to me
about that. He's like, I heard some about nine hundred. I'm like,
how you'd have to do this many, this many for this many years.
I'm like, yeah, we did four a week at one point for
like three years straight. You know. It was Tuesday's, Thursday, Saturday,
Sundays bam bam, bam bam. And I started it in sober living
and we slowed down. Recently, we've actually started other podcasts. We have
the Recovery Dance podcast. You guys have your White Knuckling At podcasts. Mitch,
you have your Redacted podcast. I mean, it's a lot, you
know, and so it's kind of hard to keep up with. And so
far we're five weeks into the Recovery Dads, and we've every Tuesday we deliver
a new episode. If you ever listened to that, check that out or
probably the same goofy level. Yeah, I don't know, but we talk
more about dad stuff, at least we attempt to. It might be higher
goofy level. Well, the last less censorship started off about pleasuring yourself and
being caught doing that, getting caught. Yeah, so that was you know,
so but hey, that's apparent thing, you know, and so we
figured, hey, I don't know how we even got on that subject,
but we were there and it was kind of entertaining for us. I believe
you asked much if you ever caught his son? Oh? Yeah, because
you said you checked in on him and you just opened the door, which
is like very dangerous, open the door of a teenage boy, just fourteen
years old, just to peek in. You guys are like, what did
you do for parenting today? And I was like, well, I made
sure he was alive and left for work, and that turned into have you
ever caught your son masturbating? Being caught masturbating and we all, yeah,
went through our story. So Recovery Dance dot com if you want hear that.
It's also on Amazon. I'm not sure what's going on with Apple.
I think they're confused because we have a nonprofit account through Apple with all that
stuff set up. So I think when I'm trying to publish another one,
but you said you've got two of them published through Apple. Yeah, we
use a different platform server than what you do. It keeps telling waiting with
nonprofit in ours. So I don't know. I don't know. It took
a minute, Like I didn't do it right away, but but I need
to get our dad's on Pandora. Do people use Pandora anymore? I don't
know a little bit. It's not the biggest, but sure somebody does because
I'm on Pandora. It used to be big years ago Pandora. I know
two seventeen recoveries on Pandora on everything to my knowledge. But yeah, so
wherever you get your podcast, So back to my bragging montage. So I
was telling Tim nine hundred episodes or he was telling me blah blah blah.
He's like yeah, and then he like looked and he's like, hey,
you have eight ninety nine. I'm like, no, I got like nine
hundred something. Depends on what you're looking. If you look at Apple,
it'll tell you a certain number. And some of them I did take down,
but only like two or three because they weren't relevant, like the guy
who when on Facebook and was like f two seventeen recovery. They took down
my podcast. I did not take that guys down. Yeah, but most
of them I leave up there. But other ones that were like four minutes
long, like you Fham or something, you know, and I'm like,
man, this is take that off because I don't really want that the count
right, it's not a real episode, right, this is quickly check in.
I mean, once you get close to one thousand, I don't think
the little ones like you can leave them on there. Yeah, I guess
when you can be like I've done twelve episodes and six of them or five
minutes long, like yeah, yeah, but when you've done almost one thousand
and most of them are thirty forty minutes long, like I think you could
or longer. Yeah, that's true. I'm reaching. We're closing in on
fifty and redacted nice so what You've been at that almost a year now,
haven't you. Yeah, it was late July of last year when it started,
and I just I don't want to even talk about the start of that
podcast, but but you got to start somewhere. A lot of people are,
yeah, you know, you pulling that trigger. They say that the
first one is the hardest. And that's why I tell people you can't ask
me about it, and they're like, oh, I'll listen to it,
I'll started episode this. Oh no, they should have definitely experienced the growing
pains of your podcast. Oh I just because you didn't have a board when
you started, Like you started out with the bare minimum, the bear Hell
yeah, and now you're gonna come up too. And I told you when
you first started, you know you're probably gonna have a different partner along the
way. You know, like those things do happen, Those things do change,
and you find one and your brother might Bailani one day, who knows.
Like you just have to be ready to roll with the changes and adapt.
You know, when I started to do seventeen podcasts, it was with
you know, two guys and Sober Living Home. Then one of them we
pretty much kicked out because he was useless. And then Rob relapsed. It
just left me. And then Ryan Beckman came and he was kind of like
he would like always kind of just watch us do the podcast, and so
we like we threw him in there one time and he said some funny shit,
so we're like and then Rob's gone and I think we were going somewhere
and he's like, hey, man, can I come with you and help
you with it? And I can carry the shit too, and I'm like,
okay, Like sounds good to me. And Ryan just kind of became
a natural fit. And then when I left the Silver Living Home that I
was managing with Brian, you know, some bad things went down there with
Ryan, and his true colors kind of came out, and I realized I
didn't really want to be associated with him anymore. So I kind of exited
him from two seventeen Recovery and moved on and made my wife do it,
and then she kind of became the co host. And now she's so busy
with little Parker and everything, like I want to do more with her,
but it's hard because when little Parker's sleeping, my mind is like, ooh,
let's go downstairs and get a podcast in. It's like, let's,
you know, do that stuff we can do where Parker's sleeping, clean the
house or something. Yeah, as you know what I'm talking about. I
think everybody knows what I'm talking about. Sleep. They say, you know,
sleep, when baby sleeps, that's what you're talking about. Obviously,
Obviously it doesn't help the more times you say obviously, no, I didn't
even hit the drop that time. I know. He just kept repeating himself
like an echo. Yeah, so they heard. Everybody heard. It's tough,
but you just have to roll with it. And you know, I'm
proud of you guys for doing what you're doing. And are they the greatest
podcasts on the earth. Yes, absolutely true that you know, whatever,
whatever you want to be is what they are. And as long as you
like it, as long as you're good with the product that's been put out.
You know, you get all these guys that like pay for subscribers and
all this other stuff. I have no interest in that. No, you
know, even with Recovery Dads, I'm like, we could do that,
but first we need more than five episodes, you know, like we're not
at a place where because that's that's when we We're like, hey, we
could really like do something them with this and take this on the road and
do some fun stuff with it. But I've found a couple of ads on
Facebook, but that's about it. You know. Yeah, I post on
X Sometimes I get around to Instagram. It's more difficult, but I uh,
yeah, I've done a couple of ads for White nokle in it and
reacted. I got a couple of clicks. I think once we get dialed
in with recovery adds or where we want it, we eventually want it filmed,
you know, we want to do that, but we're going to need
a location for that. There's a lot of things and a lot of things
going on right now too, so it's kind of hard to like focus on
that right but we'll we'll figure it out. But once we kind of get
it down to where we want to be with it, and once we get
our by the show up at Tuesday eight am, Yeah that for some reason,
it's difficult, Yeah, start somewhere, you know, So we'll start
there with that. But with with the podcast kind of going how I never
expected it, you know, still here, and I wanted it to go
this far, and I wanted to go till I'm dead, you know,
and it probably will. But that's a lot of podcasts, man, if
you think about it. But I also said I want to make a movie.
It's like, well, how I'm going to make a movie? Well,
I don't know. Let me research. It's like, okay, well
I need a script. Okay, well I need a storyboard, wrote it
or I don't know how to do any of that. But I've been working
on it in my mind, writing some things down on my phone. And
last night I came up with the script and I also came up with the
idea too. This was probably about a month or so ago to make a
short film and they say those are not supposed to be over five minutes.
I'm like, that's something that could really open the door into and I can
learn a lot from it. And you know, so I came up with
a storyboard and all that. Last night I put it down and magiced it
out and so we have that and that's pretty cool and I think we're going
to film it this fall. Deck You're going to star in it. Pretty
excited your first starring role, Yeah, whoa and nervous he has that commercially
did Yeah, fabulous, which if anything is gonna say star, I would
say he was the star of fabulous. Oh yeah, absolutely. I was
the only one in it. Yeah. But I'm just saying, like their
kids in it, Karen's rushing the kids away, right, That's the best
part of it all man bubbles and stuff Like when the drone was having problems
landing and I was doing something, I'm like freaking out and the kid comes
over, there's a drone. His moms comes running over. No, get
away from them. Are you sure it's born pink bubbla fine, fine,
put them shades back on. Put them pink shades on. The amount of
time it was travers City, so it should be widely accepted. Out that
swing, you're elting John out. But the amount of times I'm showing that
to people and they almost pissed themselves laughing when you're on the swing, just
swing in the bubble and this this rainom little kid that runs by in the
back. Seeing that videos online to seventeen Recovery do Colum fn M Park was
just there's nobody there for three days after it probably wasn't please didn't come rolling
by. Yeah they did. Well, we were doing the bear video.
Yeah, that's another funny one. Mitch driving around this bear mask on people
like what, Oh, I sign him a picture of It's a scouts at
the bottom of like a billboard. It's a leaf okay to wipe with and
leaf not okay to wipe with. Yeah, I responded, that's why there's
TP in my trunk. Yeah, he's not going out there like that,
he's toilet paper. You do that once and you start putting TP in your
trunk and Mitch Mitch re enacted a real situation that happened to him once,
but he wasn't wearing the bear masks the first time, and no but for
his scent bear because we were joking and I didn't start wearing the bear mascout
in public until after that. Yeah. We were joking on the podcast about
a commercial in the sense we had sense what would it be and blah blah
blah. We still got to do yours. Yeah, I don't remember,
and the other ones that we have props for that we just haven't done.
Oh, the Bear two, the bear black version be noir? Okay,
what was yours? Justin I don't remember. Something tremendous, isn't that Booty
or something I don't know. It was something like it was pretty crazy out
there, detrimental. Yeah, you guys are not kind. I need to
maybe we'll get to it today. I want to mention something that you said
were talking about before all right, when you were talking about doing your movie.
He decided to do a short film instead. And that's actually a really
awesome recovery analogy that I talk about, especially with people across the street at
the pier when we want to go there and do meetings is sometimes you know,
when you're especially in early recovery, you want the big thing, you
want everything, You want it all now. You want to fix everything you've
broken. You want your house back, your car back, everything you lost
in your country song. You want back right now, and like it's not
tangible and you're gonna overwhelm yourself. And so I always tell people it's kind
of like having a ladder and if your steps are too far apart, you're
not gonna be able to reach it and you're not gonna be able to climb
up it properly. So I think it's really cool that you've decided to do
the short film, because it is that it's it's cutting your goal and your
dream into smaller steps. Yeah, and you're and you're achieving it still.
You know, I'm still gonna make the other movie one day, but yeah,
yeah, this will and it's does it makes sense, you know,
like start with something short, just get some experience, center my belt,
you know, make a few short films and see what I can do and
see if I'm any good at it and well and find out what you need
to work on. And it just wantsn't need to buy Yeah, no,
but it really does. It gets you. It's one step up that lighter.
It gets you closer to the goal of what you really want to do.
So yeah, and I think just being as a person recovery and we
all recover out loud as they say, I think that's good. You know.
Not everybody wants to be out there like, hey, I'm in recovery,
which for me it helps. Yeah, I decided to change my life
for the better. People want to judge me for that, okay, yeah,
But to have dreams and goals and to start achieving them and then they
start showing people like I said, I'm going to do this, and then
you do it. And justin you've seen a lot of things I said I
was going to do it, and you see me do it, and you're
like, Okay, that dude's not playing like it might sound crazy as shit
when he says it, you might look at him like, Okay, Corey,
how are we gonna do that? But remember three years ago he's like,
one day we'll have an office. One day we'll have grants. A
year later, same thing, We're gonna have an office. One day,
we're gonna have a grants. I just have this really good feeling Justine's gonna
happen really soon, and it finally panned out. Look at me, No,
I don't just have an office. I have a whole lobby. One
day, Mitch'll have an office with a door that shuts. Not next to
the bathroom. I do want to be not next to the bathroom. Well
that's your second home. I don't even want to hear it. I have
not blown that up as bad as other people in this place. Karma non,
Like like you said, Mitch, you know like sometimes you have to
readjust you know you realize, oh that goal is too big, or that's
it's so big it's unachievable that I'm just gonna give up and run away,
and that's a lot of times. A lot of times people will do that
and early recovery, you know, like, oh I want this, I
want that everything that I lost in the country song, I want it all
back now today. And it doesn't work that way, and then so you
just give up. Yeah, And I did that many times, you know,
going on my road to recovery and to be able to like pace yourself.
And then you see it and you realize, like that that goals too
much. Well, here's the better option. I work on short films,
you know, I get good at it, and I buy all the equipment
that I need, all of it and another house to store it in.
And we need a prop house, we really do. Anybody knows a good
office, we're the second office is what we need. We need a studio
office and then this office. Yeah, or just a big enough office to
where it's all in one. Yeah. I need some capital. Heybody knows
rich people out there that they're like, man, where can I give this
million dollars to well to seventeen recovery? Would love to have it. Yeah,
for a building here, changing people's lives. We love our landlord.
She's also but we're just saying, you know, we need a studio,
like a movie studio that like just the studio office that we need like a
studio studio. I wonder if I wonder if she did do all three of
these suites and put like a doorway into each of them, and then we
can have like studio in the different offices and one's more for like the outpatient,
like the meetings and stuff. And then we take over across the street
too, across the across the parking line. Oh okay, cool, Yeah
we need a tunnel. Yeah, we just take this whole place, like
how much you want for all of them, like a studio, A,
B C. This is where we filmed this, This is where we do
that. This is where we do this to seventeen ABC Recovery. See that's
Corey's office. The whole thing is. And we all have our own bathrooms,
yep. And air conditionings and heaters. Boy can dream, you know,
that's all we can do. But without dreams and without goals, it
gets really hard for people. So you know, like just I'm sure you
tell people, Mitch, I'm sure you do this as well, you know,
to tell them to you know, write down a few things, what
are you going to accomplish in a year? How are you going to get
there? Because without having a goal, without something you want to obtain,
you don't have the desire to obtain it, And everything starts with desire.
And sure, you might tell people, oh, I want to be sober,
I want to stop taking pills, I want to stop using heroin or
whatever, but do you really have that desire to you know, you need
something else that outweighs it. You know, if it's just equal drugs win,
you know that if there's something that you really really want in life,
you know, you got to put that on a higher pedestal than the drug.
And and nobody's having fun using drugs, No, it gets to that
point where it's not fun anymore. It's a it's a bitch. You really
don't like the people are hanging out with and you were kind of wondering how
that I get here. Only way to get out of that is keep using
and get right back into this funk of just walking through the world blind and
just numb. You know, I did a group yesterday and the topic was
what made us relapse last? You know, to get everybody more engaged,
and I shared my last relapse, you know, and how my last relapse
really took me four years to come to recovery, you know, and what
I had to go through legal troubles and everything. And then I told them
all. I was like, but you know, even though I didn't want
to do it, there was times I didn't want to do anything, but
those are the times that I had to do something. And those were the
times that really stuck out to me. Like I didn't want to go to
sober living at first, I wanted to go back home. Pole told me
I couldn't go back home, so I had to go to sober living,
not like I really had a choice. And those are the things that I
really stressed to him yesterday. It's like, if you were to cut your
hand off, right, it's gonna hurt. Are you gonna want the doctor
to give you some pills for that so it doesn't hurt so bad? With
analogies, I can see where's he going with it. I'm trying. I'm
like, okay, I'm trying to connect the dots, all right. So
yeah, so if you cut your hand, if you're gonna go, you're
gonna get the doctor. Okay, you get a tooth pulled. You're gonna
want something to help the pain, you know, and it's to mask that
pains, to cover up that pain. The drugs are the same thing,
alcohol, math, heroin, it's all the same thing. We're masking a
pain, yep. And that would be a natural thing to do. You
know. If I come a hand off, I would want somebody to give
me something to stop the pain. I wouldn't want them to go, oh,
you're an addict, caudn't give you this. I'd be like, motherfucker,
you better give me that shit now my hand has got off. I'm
an idiot, you know. But other people might go no, no,
no, that's too much for me. But it's just something that is a
natural thing to do. So for society to turn into this, oh,
you're a bad person. You're a bad person. You're a bad person,
it is very unfair, you know. And sure, there's pieces of shit
in recovery. There's pieces of shit in the world. You can't like lump
it into other pieces of shit there in recovery. You can't really lump them
in together. You know. There's just people that are not good people.
There's people that are great people, you know, and you can't just watch
a movie where they're like, oh, arrest him. He's a junkie.
Look at him. He's walking down the street hitting people or whatever they do
in bad analogy. I know, Mitch, I know, I see your
face. Well, you know, I've read this little short story on Facebook
a while back ago. I've seen it a few times down there, and
it talked about this church getting a new pastor and before service started for his
first service, he went out in front of his church and acted like a
homeless person. Oh yeah, I saw that to see how many of his
congregations and one of them would help, and not one of them would help,
and it was just really sad. And he walked in there and goes,
all you guys should be ashamed of yourselves. He goes, not one
of you helped me out front of the building, and it just it was
just mind blowing, you know. And he's like, that's not what Jesus
taught us in the gospels. No, you know, he taught us to
be carrying and kind to everybody, no matter where they're at in their life.
I put I put your money in this basket. Your analogies made me
think of this video. I almost sent you last night, and I was
gonna be like, we're doing it wrong for the recovery anything. It was
just this little kid walking down side the sidewalk. And then it was from
like the eighties or something in a commercial and this guy comes out and it's
obviously ibuprofen in his hands, but he comes like sticks his arm out of
cars, like, hey, little boy, you want some drugs. He's
like what. And then this other guy they're all ethnic in some way too,
so that's why it was the worst, but opens this door of this
van. He's like, you want to get into my van, little girl?
I got candy. And then there's another one where was these old white
men I don't know what's like bandanazon offer this kid some looked like a joint
or something like that, and then they're like no, all together at the
end, we're going. And then they're like roller skating and it was a
roller skating rink commercial somewhere in the South No, And I was like,
we need to change up our advertising. It's so bad. Myn analogies are
pretty bad, right, But that guy took his hand out the window.
I was like, that's I'd be profunn. There's good people in addiction,
you know, there there really are, and the need a little bit of
help. They need a little little bit of love, Like Justin said from
the Preacher, you know, like we gotta we gotta show some compassion a
little bit. And can we empathize with everybody, No, but I can
have empathy for people, you know, who've been down that road of alcoholism,
Justin. You can empathize with people who do the uppers, you know,
Mitch, you can do alcohol, food, porn, whatever your thing
is. I don't know what it is, just throwing things out there,
but you know, we can still come to that common point of addiction.
You know, even people with gambling disorder. I don't know exactly what they're
going through, but I do know that guilt. I know what that feels
like, the shame, I know what that feels like. You know.
So I welcomed them with open arms, and I'm just a ten grand went
away from being in my life back gambling attic myself. You know, like
if I would have went to the casino and hit that ten grand, who
knows, you know, like, yeah, I've never won at the casino,
thank god, right, Yeah, yeah, because I've gone a few
different times, and I always lose. I'm like, why would I go
here to waste my money? I got drugs to buy. I thought,
right, put this in there to the liquor store or you know. Back
even when I was fishing all the time, I'm like, I could spend
that money and lures and we're tying flies and like that becomes addictive all in
itself, you know. Yeah, since cameras, right, I tell you,
at least I have something. At least you have a tackle box full
of shit. Time flies doesn't kill your liver? No, no, no,
don't. At least you know I have cameras. I can always resell
them or whatever. Never know, when you're on set and having cameras you
even need. Do you have anything from your life of using that you can
invest other than the obvious experience because we use our experience there every day.
Yeah, in our life. But I got all news stuff after I got
That's what I'm saying, all news stuff. I find stuff all the time
that are from that time, and I just want to get rid of it,
like this is worth nothing to me. Get out of here, Like
how we move to the mansion in the hills. I threw a lot of
stuff away that was just like in bags, like radio stuff, like autograph
stuff. I think there was the three of the Dead Man CDs I threw
away. It was autographed. I was like, really, autograph towel by
Seither. I was just like, I don't need that shit anymore? Like
what is that to me? Look at mister christ concert every other weekend?
Is is having a hard time with hearing this movie? Yeah, I know
before it's always so depressing. I'm really not trying to be a hoarder,
but you know, it's some At one point I'm like, oh, this
would be cool to keep, but I've kept it. What It's just a
drawer somewhere. M I'm gonna pull it off here. Parker's either signing this,
You'll be like, cool, Okay, Who's who's that? Does this
new little internet dance away? Yeah? I don't even know what that is.
You know, there's some things you just realize, like is that important
for me to keep? Not? Really? You can put it on your
wall and put a light on it. Yeah, art, Yeah, I
used to have it hanging up the towel I used to have hanging up over
in his apartment. I had like this big. I think it was an
event. It's probably something you shouldn't cover because I think it was maybe an
air return and I covered it with a towel at one point because I thought
that was cool. But yeah, I don't know. I got that's somebody
to shoo away. It's like that's a shame. But it's like you realize
what's important and what's not. Oh, that's that's important to me, right,
And we have stuff And where I was going is like we have stuff
that we've invested in. It's worth stuff. We're doing good stuff with it,
and I just there's nothing from my using life that I can put in
that category. So well, that will wrap up today's episode. Minch a
good job to close her out. Yeah, anything you want to add justin
before we you know, okay, it's like where did you throw those exactly?
If you have a problem and you do need to reach out to somebody,
feel free. We're available. You can find us online. It's very
easy to contact us. Yeah to seventeen Recovery dot Com is our website.
We have an app as well, and you can find that in the app
store. You can actually also go to our meetings that are here at the
two seventeen Recovery sounds very simple. You can zoom and we'll just a clickable
button, click any of the meetings you want to join, and you send
me run into it. Yeah. Well, thanks for listening and we will
talk to you again at a time with my choosings later. Hi, thanks
for listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast. Listen to over nine hundred episodes
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