WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.480 --> 00:00:09.199 Welcome to the two seventeen Recovery broadcast. If you don't make mistakes, you 2 00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:13.519 won't learn. With your host Corey Winfield, you know how you know fish 3 00:00:13.519 --> 00:00:17.760 as bad as you can't put it on pizza and special guests. Justin Burke 4 00:00:17.960 --> 00:00:24.280 I said something about that to our master radio broadcaster and he said that he 5 00:00:24.359 --> 00:00:29.039 didn't hear nothing. And Mitchell O'Brien, I think to introduce people you should 6 00:00:29.079 --> 00:00:34.840 tell them a little bit about a little bit about ourselves. Got your ass. 7 00:00:36.240 --> 00:00:41.359 It is the tenth of Juila twenty twenty four. My name is Corey 8 00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:46.119 Winfield, I'm Justin Burt. Now, I am Mitchell Old, Brian and 9 00:00:46.240 --> 00:00:50.200 Mitchell Old. We didn't be introduced my shield a little bit of Mitchell O'Brien. 10 00:00:50.240 --> 00:00:54.520 How guys doing I worked it that day? Yeah you did? WHOA, 11 00:00:55.000 --> 00:01:00.320 that's what we call it mispronunciation. There's no way that's a word. 12 00:01:00.840 --> 00:01:07.239 It's called burking it dull affocated. Wow, I'm done with you guys already. 13 00:01:07.359 --> 00:01:08.480 You actually had me questioning one day. I'm like, is that really 14 00:01:08.719 --> 00:01:11.680 how you say it? Like, no, it's not, and I like 15 00:01:11.719 --> 00:01:15.239 say it over and where I was like, oh yeah, it's tremendous. 16 00:01:15.480 --> 00:01:19.879 Yeah, So how you guys doing good and you sober still? Yeah, 17 00:01:19.799 --> 00:01:25.120 Yeah, we're doing good. I'm feeling way better today. Good. Yeah, 18 00:01:25.319 --> 00:01:29.239 you had a headache or something. You had some migraines and a migraine 19 00:01:29.480 --> 00:01:34.159 on I e't remember Friday, Saturday, something like that. Damn. Maybe 20 00:01:34.200 --> 00:01:38.319 a Sunday. But either way, it just kind of hung over into the 21 00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:42.439 other days. So I was talking to somebody else's migraines, is like, 22 00:01:42.519 --> 00:01:47.879 yeah, it's called a migraine hangover. We'll hear it for a couple hear 23 00:01:47.920 --> 00:01:51.319 it. You're gonna have it for a couple of days. You have some 24 00:01:51.359 --> 00:01:57.519 brain fog. And I was trying to fast for health and spiritual reasons for 25 00:01:57.599 --> 00:02:00.280 the last week or through last week, and that's kind of carried it over, 26 00:02:01.040 --> 00:02:07.680 and I was eating minimalistically, and then I don't think my body liked 27 00:02:07.719 --> 00:02:10.639 it. It was almost going on because they ate some meat yesterday and today 28 00:02:10.680 --> 00:02:17.159 I feel great, so well, you know, I hope that the religious 29 00:02:17.199 --> 00:02:23.039 part of that still works for you, because now you're eating beef again. 30 00:02:24.360 --> 00:02:28.840 I eat that beef, and some religions don't allow beef. Some religions don't 31 00:02:29.039 --> 00:02:34.159 don't allow pork, right, Yeah, some religions don't allow fish. Everybody 32 00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:38.719 has their own. What Yeah, fish is accepted all not the one that 33 00:02:38.759 --> 00:02:43.520 I'm practicing. It's the shellfish, and then that one, and then some 34 00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:49.280 don't allow you to eat goats, and there's another religion that only you can 35 00:02:49.319 --> 00:02:54.479 eat goats. I'll make this stuff up. We're gonna have to fact check 36 00:02:54.599 --> 00:02:59.599 this guy. Maybe I do make it up, but who knows. Man, 37 00:02:59.639 --> 00:03:01.360 there's lots of religions and lots of things going out there. Whatever works 38 00:03:01.360 --> 00:03:07.840 for you is what I suggest that you do. So I'm glad that's working 39 00:03:07.840 --> 00:03:12.400 out for you. Myself, I had to switch to a different diet of 40 00:03:12.479 --> 00:03:15.080 foods, and I'm not saying I'm on a diet. I'm just saying, 41 00:03:15.120 --> 00:03:21.639 like eating healthier. Yeah. The cake at Costco they have like this bowtie 42 00:03:21.680 --> 00:03:24.479 cake and it's so good. It's the best cake ever. It's the only 43 00:03:24.520 --> 00:03:29.400 cake I'll eat. It's so good. And instead of just throwing it out, 44 00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:34.360 there's like a little silver left. Marnie puts it in like a tupperware 45 00:03:34.439 --> 00:03:38.120 container and then sets it right on the top shelf over to the left, 46 00:03:38.400 --> 00:03:43.800 so you open it to get milk or anything. Bread, on my chicken 47 00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:51.039 there it is just Ni Corry. Yeah, so sugar, I guess time 48 00:03:51.080 --> 00:03:55.400 being sugar and for real. And since I've been on this new eating habit 49 00:03:55.479 --> 00:04:00.719 thing, I eat a bowl of oatmeal in the morning and some wheat toast 50 00:04:01.080 --> 00:04:08.840 with some no sugar jelly, which I prefer, and I've not felt nauseous 51 00:04:08.879 --> 00:04:12.159 all day. You guys have heard me complaining for months, probably I don't 52 00:04:12.159 --> 00:04:15.600 even know how long, probably a year, I don't know. I'm sure 53 00:04:15.639 --> 00:04:21.319 my whining and complaining this is up another level. I just ignore it anymore. 54 00:04:21.759 --> 00:04:27.160 I felt like it's been doing better. Yeah, so I think the 55 00:04:27.240 --> 00:04:30.279 whole key because I was like, well, I just won't eat breakfast, 56 00:04:30.600 --> 00:04:32.360 and that wasn't really the right way to go because then I get here and 57 00:04:32.399 --> 00:04:35.439 I start feeling nauseous and I would just start shoving anything in my mouth, 58 00:04:35.480 --> 00:04:40.800 and then we have snacks here at the office that aren't something that I should 59 00:04:40.839 --> 00:04:44.920 eat. So I don't know. I was telling you in the kitchen here 60 00:04:44.920 --> 00:04:47.439 in the office that I feel less bloated, you know, and You're like, 61 00:04:47.480 --> 00:04:50.639 well, here's why, because sugar bloat you there's science behind it. 62 00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:55.360 I saw it on Facebook. Yeah, well I can't believe everything you see 63 00:04:55.399 --> 00:05:00.000 on Facebook. Ye well, this was a tangible science experiment. It or 64 00:05:00.079 --> 00:05:09.360 they took different like beakers in the laboratory and put different there's this kind of 65 00:05:09.439 --> 00:05:15.000 acid that simulates stomach acid. Then they put different kinds of proteins and sugars 66 00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:19.000 in it to signify different kinds of foods, and then a balloon on top, 67 00:05:20.040 --> 00:05:26.480 and different foods react with the acid, and like sugar makes a lot 68 00:05:26.480 --> 00:05:29.680 of gas and it what blows the balloon up, and that's why you feel 69 00:05:29.720 --> 00:05:33.680 bloated inside. So that's what he told me, and I said, yep, 70 00:05:33.800 --> 00:05:36.319 that sounds about right, Mitchell. Yep. I didn't have to see 71 00:05:36.360 --> 00:05:41.600 it on Facebook. I believed what he said because it I feel less bloated 72 00:05:42.000 --> 00:05:46.680 and I don't feel nauseous. And yesterday I forgot my sandwich. My lovely 73 00:05:46.720 --> 00:05:51.120 wife made me a chicken sandwich and some cups some fruit, and I forgot 74 00:05:51.160 --> 00:05:55.279 it. I remember you saying that. But I didn't go crazy. I 75 00:05:55.319 --> 00:06:00.360 wasn't all like, hey, I'm starving food. I'm like I would do 76 00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:04.120 before. So I think it's working out, but it's that starting out is 77 00:06:04.439 --> 00:06:06.759 the hardest part of it. And I've talked about this many times in this 78 00:06:06.800 --> 00:06:13.079 podcast, and it's the same thing man, with change in your life, 79 00:06:13.199 --> 00:06:18.160 with drinking or using drugs. It's different at first because it's difficult because you're 80 00:06:18.279 --> 00:06:23.839 changing and you're not getting what you want. Like, obviously, I want 81 00:06:24.120 --> 00:06:28.839 to be around in thirty years for Parker, I have sun. I want 82 00:06:28.839 --> 00:06:30.600 to be around for thirty more years. You know. That'll put me at 83 00:06:30.639 --> 00:06:34.120 seventy five. Seventy six sounds cool. If I can live a few more 84 00:06:34.199 --> 00:06:38.759 years after that, and that's even better. But if I don't change the 85 00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:41.480 way that I'm eating and change these things, I'm not going to be that. 86 00:06:41.560 --> 00:06:45.639 So that's long term what I want. When I open the fridge and 87 00:06:45.680 --> 00:06:49.319 I see that cake, that's short term what I want and you have to 88 00:06:49.319 --> 00:06:53.319 battle that. And it's the same thing with people that are using drugs, 89 00:06:54.279 --> 00:06:57.399 and yes alcohol is a drug. They open the fridge and they see that 90 00:06:57.399 --> 00:07:00.399 beer. Oh, I want that now. Now they do have a long 91 00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:03.040 term goal. A lot of times people don't, but they might want to 92 00:07:03.079 --> 00:07:06.800 be around to be a grandpa. Who knows. But if that is something 93 00:07:06.839 --> 00:07:10.720 that they want to achieve, then they have to look at that beer, 94 00:07:10.759 --> 00:07:13.120 look at that drug, and go. You know, maybe I should not 95 00:07:13.240 --> 00:07:16.399 do that. And it gets easier every time I open the fridge to go 96 00:07:16.560 --> 00:07:20.240 Nope. And on the other side, because we've got like the double door 97 00:07:20.279 --> 00:07:26.399 things is fruit, you know, So I just need to open the other 98 00:07:26.519 --> 00:07:29.279 door and look at that way. And I think you should not have the 99 00:07:29.319 --> 00:07:33.120 beer in your fridge, or maybe or maybe take that little slivery cake that 100 00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:38.439 your lovely life put in your side of the refrigerator next to all yourself. 101 00:07:38.759 --> 00:07:43.439 That's not my size, and just put it in the trash and just put 102 00:07:43.480 --> 00:07:46.680 the container in the sink and she'll never know. Hold on, wait, 103 00:07:46.199 --> 00:07:51.120 okay, we don't have room for this kind of negativity. No, we 104 00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:57.079 don't. What do you mean negativity? Just throwing away a piece of cake. 105 00:07:57.279 --> 00:08:00.199 Martie can have cake, she can eat. That's her cake, bro. 106 00:08:00.319 --> 00:08:03.079 She didn't put it aside for me. But it's just it's taunting me. 107 00:08:03.519 --> 00:08:07.040 It's taunting me. But she might want it, so you trust me. 108 00:08:07.079 --> 00:08:11.759 Marti throws stuff away like she's the queen of it. And so when 109 00:08:11.759 --> 00:08:18.120 she leaves something there, it's very intentional. And you're not on your conspiracy 110 00:08:18.160 --> 00:08:22.199 theory of what's happening anymore. You're not on, she's trying to kill you 111 00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:24.920 with all these sugars, not the diabetes. Right, Well, well that's 112 00:08:24.920 --> 00:08:28.600 where I was getting at, like he's But here's the thing, though, 113 00:08:28.639 --> 00:08:33.799 it's my choice. I can't blame it. Like in joking, I can 114 00:08:33.799 --> 00:08:37.960 say she's trying to kill me because it does appear that way. But I'm 115 00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:41.559 the one who has to pick up the fork in the spoon and eat it. 116 00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:45.320 You know, I have that choice. She's not tying me up in 117 00:08:45.360 --> 00:08:48.840 the basement shoving cake down my throat, not that that's a fantasy or anything, 118 00:08:48.919 --> 00:08:56.840 but just dribble it down my chin, maybe try to lick it off. 119 00:08:58.320 --> 00:09:01.519 I want some of that. But I'm just saying it's my choice. 120 00:09:01.639 --> 00:09:05.960 I really wish I wasn't such a visual person. And to eat the ice 121 00:09:07.039 --> 00:09:09.519 cream, to eat the cake, to eat the pie, whatever's there, 122 00:09:09.720 --> 00:09:13.279 it's my choice. So I have to make that choice every time, just 123 00:09:13.320 --> 00:09:16.799 like if there was a beer in there, which there wouldn't be. There's 124 00:09:16.840 --> 00:09:22.720 no alcohol in our home. There are people who marry people who say they're 125 00:09:22.759 --> 00:09:26.639 in recovery, and they'll marry someone who's not in recovery. Kudos to them. 126 00:09:26.960 --> 00:09:28.679 You know, Bob, the guy who painted our home was like that. 127 00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:31.480 He's like, yeah, my wife has a bottle of line. I'm 128 00:09:31.480 --> 00:09:33.759 like, I don't know how you do it. I would drink it one 129 00:09:33.840 --> 00:09:37.919 day. I could sit here and tell you that I'm the strongest person, 130 00:09:37.960 --> 00:09:41.200 that I can resist everything, and no one day I would drink it. 131 00:09:41.759 --> 00:09:43.440 If there was a bottle of vodka in the freezer, I would drink it. 132 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:46.679 Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I would, I guarantee 133 00:09:46.720 --> 00:09:50.720 you. So that's why there's no vodka in there. And that's why when 134 00:09:50.759 --> 00:09:56.519 I was looking for a person that I could marry, I wasn't looking for 135 00:09:56.559 --> 00:10:01.919 someone who was not in recovery. It's just not fair to them, you 136 00:10:01.960 --> 00:10:03.039 know. For me, it's just like it's like not fair for me to 137 00:10:03.039 --> 00:10:07.440 tell Marty you can't have that cake around. She can have that cake around. 138 00:10:07.600 --> 00:10:11.200 It's not going to be stronger and she better to eat it. And 139 00:10:11.240 --> 00:10:13.159 that's the good thing with food is it goes bad? Should we take that? 140 00:10:13.279 --> 00:10:18.240 How long that cake stays there? I feel like he has more resolves 141 00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:20.639 than you do. Yeah, I'm not eating it. It'll be common for 142 00:10:20.679 --> 00:10:24.600 the weekend. She'll eat it'll throw it away, But that's her cake. 143 00:10:24.679 --> 00:10:28.840 Man, so she can do it. But it's not like a bottle 144 00:10:28.879 --> 00:10:33.279 of vodka that never goes bad. You know, you throw that in a 145 00:10:33.279 --> 00:10:35.639 freezer and it'll be there six months. And I could be fine six months, 146 00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:39.120 but that one day have a bad day, or Justin does something that 147 00:10:39.120 --> 00:10:43.360 really pisses me off. Or Mitchie drive me nuts doing something that I'm like, 148 00:10:43.399 --> 00:10:46.960 what the fuck? You know what's going on? Or kim her in 149 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:50.679 there too, or a little Parker, maybe he spits up on my good 150 00:10:50.679 --> 00:10:56.039 shirt or Doodoo. Is that that green like yellowish, the one that doesn't 151 00:10:56.080 --> 00:11:00.519 come out of anything. Yeah, yeah, maybe he ruins my good shirt 152 00:11:00.519 --> 00:11:03.399 with that. I'm like, ah, but again that's why we don't have 153 00:11:03.480 --> 00:11:05.639 vaca in the home. But the food will go bad, the food will 154 00:11:05.639 --> 00:11:09.799 spoil. So that's something that it's just short term, you know, just 155 00:11:09.840 --> 00:11:13.440 walk past it, get some fruit. And I still do eat like whipped 156 00:11:13.440 --> 00:11:18.039 cream, love the whipped creams. Yeah. I know there's sugar in that, 157 00:11:18.279 --> 00:11:24.240 but it's still better than eating ogre in it. Most of it these 158 00:11:24.320 --> 00:11:31.600 days is mostly sugar. It's like two grams of sugar teaspoon and I get 159 00:11:31.639 --> 00:11:37.120 like a tablespoon and just that's such a low mass thing that it's like two 160 00:11:37.200 --> 00:11:43.080 grams of sugar, two point one grams of everything. Anyways, what I 161 00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:50.960 was gonna say is you gotta what I try to do is it's kind of 162 00:11:50.039 --> 00:11:56.519 changed the short term. The short term, we want that sliced cake, 163 00:11:56.159 --> 00:12:01.399 right, But also in the short term, I don't want to feel bloated. 164 00:12:03.080 --> 00:12:05.759 I want to wake up in the morning and when I when I eat 165 00:12:05.799 --> 00:12:09.519 high protein, and I do, I do something kind of it's like a 166 00:12:09.639 --> 00:12:15.919 keto carnivore mixture, so high in the protein. The red meat goes really 167 00:12:15.919 --> 00:12:22.159 well because I struggle with iron deficiency. And then some grains and some vegetables, 168 00:12:22.639 --> 00:12:28.919 and then I do little snacks here there because it's just not easily obtainable 169 00:12:28.960 --> 00:12:35.039 to do that perfectly all day. But I have a Nutra grain bar and 170 00:12:35.080 --> 00:12:39.759 I tell me, tell myself that that's grains. But I looked at that, 171 00:12:39.720 --> 00:12:43.399 I was like, oh, hell no, Like I can only eat 172 00:12:43.440 --> 00:12:48.039 the little popcorn. But when I do start to eat more on that diet 173 00:12:48.080 --> 00:12:52.039 style that I've I've chosen, I wake up the next morning and I feel 174 00:12:52.039 --> 00:12:54.360 stronger, I feel better, I have more energy. I don't have any 175 00:12:54.360 --> 00:13:00.679 brain fog, like it's just all these different things. That cake sounds really 176 00:13:00.679 --> 00:13:05.000 awesome, but I'm gonna have gut issues. I'm just gonna feel bloated. 177 00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:09.320 I'm gonna feel a lethargic fatigued the next day, and it just it sucks. 178 00:13:09.159 --> 00:13:13.559 There's an analogy there for what I was drinking too, because it was 179 00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:18.480 the same choice. But that's what I'm that's my sober people problems. But 180 00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:22.600 the other day you said that you didn't have that guilt with it, because 181 00:13:22.600 --> 00:13:26.320 I had the guilt the fact that, like, I feel guilty that what 182 00:13:26.360 --> 00:13:30.600 I'm doing to myself will affect my family. You know, that's the guilt 183 00:13:30.600 --> 00:13:31.679 part of it. You know. The shame is just like, oh I'm 184 00:13:31.720 --> 00:13:35.679 fat and people are gonna call me fat and gross or whatever, like, 185 00:13:35.799 --> 00:13:37.759 oh, I feel shame that I hate that and why did I made that 186 00:13:37.799 --> 00:13:41.840 bad choice? So I would feel both those And you're like, nah, 187 00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:43.559 I don't really do that, but you just feel bloated. Yeah, I 188 00:13:43.639 --> 00:13:46.799 think you're like, No, I don't feel guilty or shame. I just 189 00:13:46.080 --> 00:13:50.559 don't like feel bloated. I think I need to work on that because I 190 00:13:50.559 --> 00:13:54.399 think I should feel same for that. But I was so unhealthy and about 191 00:13:54.440 --> 00:13:58.480 to already die that I am so much more healthy now, and you're just 192 00:13:58.519 --> 00:14:03.240 like, but I'm like, there's a margin for error and there this cake's 193 00:14:03.279 --> 00:14:07.360 not going to put on three hundred pounds today, so I mean it takes 194 00:14:07.440 --> 00:14:13.799 two days to you know. So I heard, yeah, but I don't 195 00:14:13.799 --> 00:14:18.720 know. It is affecting me to where I feel better every day. So 196 00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:22.919 I think that's a good choice that I made. And I think the hardest 197 00:14:22.919 --> 00:14:26.679 part of it is over with just that. Man, I want that. 198 00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:30.919 And we have like little Hershey chocolate things around and I'll pop out of my 199 00:14:30.919 --> 00:14:33.240 mouth for once a while. But again I would eat a bowl of ice 200 00:14:33.320 --> 00:14:37.360 cream, you know, and it just it's just not good for you. 201 00:14:37.080 --> 00:14:41.559 And pie that Marti would make and just make bad choices. And even the 202 00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:43.080 snacks here you think, oh, it's just a snack, but when you 203 00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:46.200 eat three or four of them, you know, and then you go home 204 00:14:46.279 --> 00:14:50.360 you have a big dinner and whatever. But yeah, it's just you gotta 205 00:14:50.360 --> 00:14:56.360 be I don't want to say accountable, but you have to be mindful but 206 00:14:56.480 --> 00:15:00.399 what you're doing and the end results and if you really want, you know, 207 00:15:00.399 --> 00:15:03.799 if I really didn't want to be around when Parker was thirty. Then 208 00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:07.440 I can just do whatever I want, eat whatever I want. But you 209 00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:11.000 know, I don't have to go to the gym every morning at four am. 210 00:15:11.240 --> 00:15:16.279 Yeah, I quit doing that obviously, And I don't, you know, 211 00:15:16.480 --> 00:15:22.279 need to like start running marathons or anything like that. But once I 212 00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:26.039 can get some weight off and then I'll start feeling better physically, then it'll 213 00:15:26.039 --> 00:15:28.879 be easier for me to walk around the black or if we wanted to go 214 00:15:28.960 --> 00:15:33.480 to the park and have exercise hour, you're actually go outside where there's bugs 215 00:15:33.759 --> 00:15:37.399 in the fall when it's nice and chilly out. Oh yeah, it was. 216 00:15:37.440 --> 00:15:41.679 It was because that was part of my recovery journey, was you know, 217 00:15:41.759 --> 00:15:46.559 I was so physically unhealthy that I was walking with my pre recovery coach 218 00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:50.120 and it wasn't a lot nicer in the spring fall, even in the winter 219 00:15:50.440 --> 00:15:56.840 when it wasn't super icy on the trail over there. But I feel and 220 00:15:56.879 --> 00:16:00.639 I'm gonna this is gonna sound like an attack a little bit, obviously, 221 00:16:00.840 --> 00:16:04.399 don't want it to. Well, any time anything starts out with that, 222 00:16:04.600 --> 00:16:08.519 it's automatically what you just said, it's not going to be. I feel 223 00:16:08.559 --> 00:16:15.000 if I could walk the Civic Center when I was four hundred and fifty pounds 224 00:16:15.240 --> 00:16:21.639 that you guys could handle it. Now, tests I feel like that was 225 00:16:21.679 --> 00:16:26.759 an attack. I don't want it. Sorry, it was got Yeah, 226 00:16:27.600 --> 00:16:33.039 I just it really sucked. And and you guys are we're all all heavy 227 00:16:33.120 --> 00:16:38.519 men here in this in this room, but you guys weren't aren't at that 228 00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:45.720 stage where I was. Obviously, if I'm going to bring it up against 229 00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:48.279 you, you got to use my own voice against me. I understand, 230 00:16:48.399 --> 00:16:53.039 Yeah, I can, I'll take it. That was like one of those 231 00:16:53.039 --> 00:16:57.559 comments where I'm not trying to be rude here, but I don't know, 232 00:16:59.679 --> 00:17:07.359 it was a bit different. No, no, sorry, it's fun to 233 00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:11.440 play with drops. But now, as you were saying, what happened with 234 00:17:11.480 --> 00:17:17.000 your recovery coach, he moved to a different agency and then I followed him 235 00:17:17.160 --> 00:17:21.680 to there, and then I think he we kind of fell out of touch. 236 00:17:22.119 --> 00:17:26.799 So do you do that with your recoveries only when they don't want to 237 00:17:26.839 --> 00:17:29.519 talk to me? So you didn't you didn't want to talk to him anymore? 238 00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:30.839 No, I did, and we reached out every once in a while, 239 00:17:30.920 --> 00:17:34.079 and then eventually, you know, I was I was talking to him 240 00:17:34.160 --> 00:17:38.279 until you know, into working here. This is his name, Jonathan Boyd 241 00:17:38.359 --> 00:17:42.920 or something. Yeah, he's a good guy. He might have moved back 242 00:17:42.960 --> 00:17:48.960 to Mississippi Arizona. Okay, it's close, but he might be here. 243 00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:52.920 I don't know. We're Facebook friends and we like each other stuff every once 244 00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:56.720 in a while, and so we're just more like peers now. Well, 245 00:17:56.759 --> 00:17:59.559 I mean I guess we were before, but yeah, because now you're a 246 00:17:59.599 --> 00:18:03.920 recovery coach officially with the state even Yeah, what's up? Are you allowed 247 00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:07.880 to have recovery coach? Should you be his recovery coach? Now? I 248 00:18:07.880 --> 00:18:11.000 feel like we talked about that you should put him in the RDP. I 249 00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:15.680 know that recovery coaching was like his side thing. He has a business with 250 00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:19.799 his wife, Yeah that they do a small business, so it's like a 251 00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:25.319 catering thing. I thought you're gonna say camera thing. I want to say. 252 00:18:25.359 --> 00:18:27.839 He was one of the first state certified ones around Traverse City. He 253 00:18:27.920 --> 00:18:32.920 was one of the first yeah if I remember right, because I worked at 254 00:18:32.960 --> 00:18:36.799 the same agency that he left at Cathol Human Services. Yeah, you can 255 00:18:36.799 --> 00:18:40.960 say they like them. They're people over there. I took his role when 256 00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:45.720 he left. Oh big choose the fill and actually not really. He's just 257 00:18:45.960 --> 00:18:48.200 kind of a small guy. Whoa, but Sarah told me like he was 258 00:18:48.200 --> 00:18:52.599 one of the first people to actually take the state training when it first came 259 00:18:52.640 --> 00:18:57.480 out. Hig, I don't know. She's the clinical supervisor over there. 260 00:18:57.559 --> 00:19:02.920 Oh i've met her, yes here, yep. Nice woman, Yeah, 261 00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:07.559 very nice woman. Yeah. Yeah, well who really cares about our employees 262 00:19:07.880 --> 00:19:12.400 just as much as you do. Really, Yeah, that's awesome. Yep. 263 00:19:14.319 --> 00:19:18.200 I mean I have no complaints working for them now the other place before 264 00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:26.480 that, can you say the thing? Yeah? I can. I got 265 00:19:26.519 --> 00:19:32.839 a reminder today about paydays. Reminder of payday is coming up? Yeah, 266 00:19:33.079 --> 00:19:36.160 oh you have a reminders setting your phone to the pay No, No, 267 00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:37.920 it's an email that comes through that. I thought. I thought he sent 268 00:19:37.960 --> 00:19:44.599 you a message. The program we use, it's like yeah, yeah about 269 00:19:44.640 --> 00:19:51.599 that. About that? I think you can get around to it. It's 270 00:19:51.640 --> 00:19:53.799 like three buttons I need to click. But it's tough. It takes a 271 00:19:53.839 --> 00:20:00.200 lot of my day. Up, I need to payroll. Yeah, such 272 00:20:00.200 --> 00:20:04.440 a bummer. I got three day process. It's whole sober thing. Actually, 273 00:20:04.480 --> 00:20:08.119 this whole sober thing is working out pretty freaking well. Yea, and 274 00:20:10.079 --> 00:20:15.640 I would have it's really yeah, I mean from where I was at, 275 00:20:15.839 --> 00:20:22.440 you know, to where I'm at now, just spiritually, just I don't 276 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:26.200 know, it's just it's really working out, you know. And it's not 277 00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:29.720 just because I'm here talking with you guys stay in this podcast, but I 278 00:20:29.799 --> 00:20:33.519 mean everything, you know, from being married to having a child, like 279 00:20:33.559 --> 00:20:37.640 all these things I've dreamed of and wanted. And you know, this podcast 280 00:20:37.960 --> 00:20:44.000 has over nine hundred episodes. We have the most episodes about recovery in the 281 00:20:44.039 --> 00:20:48.599 world of any podcast, which I still is mind blowing. And a guy 282 00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:52.400 came in yesterday, but he Tim came in and he was talking to me 283 00:20:52.440 --> 00:20:53.640 about that. He's like, I heard some about nine hundred. I'm like, 284 00:20:53.720 --> 00:20:56.599 how you'd have to do this many, this many for this many years. 285 00:20:56.640 --> 00:21:00.480 I'm like, yeah, we did four a week at one point for 286 00:21:00.519 --> 00:21:03.799 like three years straight. You know. It was Tuesday's, Thursday, Saturday, 287 00:21:03.799 --> 00:21:07.759 Sundays bam bam, bam bam. And I started it in sober living 288 00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:14.440 and we slowed down. Recently, we've actually started other podcasts. We have 289 00:21:14.519 --> 00:21:18.119 the Recovery Dance podcast. You guys have your White Knuckling At podcasts. Mitch, 290 00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:22.359 you have your Redacted podcast. I mean, it's a lot, you 291 00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:23.759 know, and so it's kind of hard to keep up with. And so 292 00:21:23.920 --> 00:21:27.759 far we're five weeks into the Recovery Dads, and we've every Tuesday we deliver 293 00:21:27.839 --> 00:21:30.160 a new episode. If you ever listened to that, check that out or 294 00:21:30.920 --> 00:21:33.720 probably the same goofy level. Yeah, I don't know, but we talk 295 00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:38.960 more about dad stuff, at least we attempt to. It might be higher 296 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:47.440 goofy level. Well, the last less censorship started off about pleasuring yourself and 297 00:21:47.640 --> 00:21:52.119 being caught doing that, getting caught. Yeah, so that was you know, 298 00:21:52.319 --> 00:21:53.759 so but hey, that's apparent thing, you know, and so we 299 00:21:53.839 --> 00:21:57.759 figured, hey, I don't know how we even got on that subject, 300 00:21:57.799 --> 00:22:02.480 but we were there and it was kind of entertaining for us. I believe 301 00:22:02.519 --> 00:22:04.799 you asked much if you ever caught his son? Oh? Yeah, because 302 00:22:04.680 --> 00:22:07.799 you said you checked in on him and you just opened the door, which 303 00:22:07.839 --> 00:22:11.200 is like very dangerous, open the door of a teenage boy, just fourteen 304 00:22:11.279 --> 00:22:15.960 years old, just to peek in. You guys are like, what did 305 00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:18.400 you do for parenting today? And I was like, well, I made 306 00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:22.559 sure he was alive and left for work, and that turned into have you 307 00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:26.440 ever caught your son masturbating? Being caught masturbating and we all, yeah, 308 00:22:26.599 --> 00:22:30.000 went through our story. So Recovery Dance dot com if you want hear that. 309 00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:32.160 It's also on Amazon. I'm not sure what's going on with Apple. 310 00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:37.920 I think they're confused because we have a nonprofit account through Apple with all that 311 00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:41.799 stuff set up. So I think when I'm trying to publish another one, 312 00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:45.359 but you said you've got two of them published through Apple. Yeah, we 313 00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:49.440 use a different platform server than what you do. It keeps telling waiting with 314 00:22:51.279 --> 00:22:56.400 nonprofit in ours. So I don't know. I don't know. It took 315 00:22:56.440 --> 00:22:59.279 a minute, Like I didn't do it right away, but but I need 316 00:22:59.279 --> 00:23:03.319 to get our dad's on Pandora. Do people use Pandora anymore? I don't 317 00:23:03.319 --> 00:23:07.440 know a little bit. It's not the biggest, but sure somebody does because 318 00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:12.480 I'm on Pandora. It used to be big years ago Pandora. I know 319 00:23:12.519 --> 00:23:19.920 two seventeen recoveries on Pandora on everything to my knowledge. But yeah, so 320 00:23:19.920 --> 00:23:23.839 wherever you get your podcast, So back to my bragging montage. So I 321 00:23:23.880 --> 00:23:29.759 was telling Tim nine hundred episodes or he was telling me blah blah blah. 322 00:23:29.799 --> 00:23:30.319 He's like yeah, and then he like looked and he's like, hey, 323 00:23:30.319 --> 00:23:33.599 you have eight ninety nine. I'm like, no, I got like nine 324 00:23:33.680 --> 00:23:36.640 hundred something. Depends on what you're looking. If you look at Apple, 325 00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:40.839 it'll tell you a certain number. And some of them I did take down, 326 00:23:41.039 --> 00:23:44.839 but only like two or three because they weren't relevant, like the guy 327 00:23:44.920 --> 00:23:48.720 who when on Facebook and was like f two seventeen recovery. They took down 328 00:23:48.759 --> 00:23:52.119 my podcast. I did not take that guys down. Yeah, but most 329 00:23:52.160 --> 00:23:55.759 of them I leave up there. But other ones that were like four minutes 330 00:23:55.799 --> 00:23:57.400 long, like you Fham or something, you know, and I'm like, 331 00:23:57.480 --> 00:24:00.680 man, this is take that off because I don't really want that the count 332 00:24:00.359 --> 00:24:04.720 right, it's not a real episode, right, this is quickly check in. 333 00:24:04.960 --> 00:24:08.039 I mean, once you get close to one thousand, I don't think 334 00:24:08.079 --> 00:24:12.960 the little ones like you can leave them on there. Yeah, I guess 335 00:24:14.039 --> 00:24:18.480 when you can be like I've done twelve episodes and six of them or five 336 00:24:18.480 --> 00:24:22.039 minutes long, like yeah, yeah, but when you've done almost one thousand 337 00:24:22.240 --> 00:24:26.480 and most of them are thirty forty minutes long, like I think you could 338 00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:33.839 or longer. Yeah, that's true. I'm reaching. We're closing in on 339 00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:38.960 fifty and redacted nice so what You've been at that almost a year now, 340 00:24:40.119 --> 00:24:47.319 haven't you. Yeah, it was late July of last year when it started, 341 00:24:48.279 --> 00:24:49.839 and I just I don't want to even talk about the start of that 342 00:24:49.880 --> 00:24:55.079 podcast, but but you got to start somewhere. A lot of people are, 343 00:24:55.519 --> 00:24:57.160 yeah, you know, you pulling that trigger. They say that the 344 00:24:57.240 --> 00:25:00.799 first one is the hardest. And that's why I tell people you can't ask 345 00:25:00.880 --> 00:25:03.519 me about it, and they're like, oh, I'll listen to it, 346 00:25:03.559 --> 00:25:10.160 I'll started episode this. Oh no, they should have definitely experienced the growing 347 00:25:10.200 --> 00:25:14.079 pains of your podcast. Oh I just because you didn't have a board when 348 00:25:14.119 --> 00:25:18.720 you started, Like you started out with the bare minimum, the bear Hell 349 00:25:18.039 --> 00:25:23.079 yeah, and now you're gonna come up too. And I told you when 350 00:25:23.119 --> 00:25:26.720 you first started, you know you're probably gonna have a different partner along the 351 00:25:26.759 --> 00:25:29.640 way. You know, like those things do happen, Those things do change, 352 00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:33.440 and you find one and your brother might Bailani one day, who knows. 353 00:25:33.480 --> 00:25:37.359 Like you just have to be ready to roll with the changes and adapt. 354 00:25:37.559 --> 00:25:38.920 You know, when I started to do seventeen podcasts, it was with 355 00:25:40.119 --> 00:25:42.440 you know, two guys and Sober Living Home. Then one of them we 356 00:25:42.920 --> 00:25:49.599 pretty much kicked out because he was useless. And then Rob relapsed. It 357 00:25:49.720 --> 00:25:52.440 just left me. And then Ryan Beckman came and he was kind of like 358 00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:56.920 he would like always kind of just watch us do the podcast, and so 359 00:25:56.960 --> 00:25:59.440 we like we threw him in there one time and he said some funny shit, 360 00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:03.200 so we're like and then Rob's gone and I think we were going somewhere 361 00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:06.599 and he's like, hey, man, can I come with you and help 362 00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:08.160 you with it? And I can carry the shit too, and I'm like, 363 00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:11.519 okay, Like sounds good to me. And Ryan just kind of became 364 00:26:11.559 --> 00:26:18.759 a natural fit. And then when I left the Silver Living Home that I 365 00:26:18.799 --> 00:26:22.319 was managing with Brian, you know, some bad things went down there with 366 00:26:22.359 --> 00:26:23.799 Ryan, and his true colors kind of came out, and I realized I 367 00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:27.440 didn't really want to be associated with him anymore. So I kind of exited 368 00:26:27.480 --> 00:26:32.799 him from two seventeen Recovery and moved on and made my wife do it, 369 00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:37.559 and then she kind of became the co host. And now she's so busy 370 00:26:37.359 --> 00:26:41.319 with little Parker and everything, like I want to do more with her, 371 00:26:41.920 --> 00:26:45.240 but it's hard because when little Parker's sleeping, my mind is like, ooh, 372 00:26:45.319 --> 00:26:48.960 let's go downstairs and get a podcast in. It's like, let's, 373 00:26:49.079 --> 00:26:56.000 you know, do that stuff we can do where Parker's sleeping, clean the 374 00:26:56.119 --> 00:27:00.920 house or something. Yeah, as you know what I'm talking about. I 375 00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:03.559 think everybody knows what I'm talking about. Sleep. They say, you know, 376 00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:07.240 sleep, when baby sleeps, that's what you're talking about. Obviously, 377 00:27:07.119 --> 00:27:15.160 Obviously it doesn't help the more times you say obviously, no, I didn't 378 00:27:15.160 --> 00:27:18.880 even hit the drop that time. I know. He just kept repeating himself 379 00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:22.480 like an echo. Yeah, so they heard. Everybody heard. It's tough, 380 00:27:22.680 --> 00:27:25.880 but you just have to roll with it. And you know, I'm 381 00:27:25.880 --> 00:27:29.680 proud of you guys for doing what you're doing. And are they the greatest 382 00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:34.000 podcasts on the earth. Yes, absolutely true that you know, whatever, 383 00:27:34.200 --> 00:27:37.559 whatever you want to be is what they are. And as long as you 384 00:27:37.680 --> 00:27:41.680 like it, as long as you're good with the product that's been put out. 385 00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:45.240 You know, you get all these guys that like pay for subscribers and 386 00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:48.240 all this other stuff. I have no interest in that. No, you 387 00:27:48.279 --> 00:27:51.920 know, even with Recovery Dads, I'm like, we could do that, 388 00:27:52.160 --> 00:27:56.880 but first we need more than five episodes, you know, like we're not 389 00:27:56.920 --> 00:27:59.079 at a place where because that's that's when we We're like, hey, we 390 00:27:59.119 --> 00:28:00.920 could really like do something them with this and take this on the road and 391 00:28:02.200 --> 00:28:06.000 do some fun stuff with it. But I've found a couple of ads on 392 00:28:06.039 --> 00:28:08.400 Facebook, but that's about it. You know. Yeah, I post on 393 00:28:10.079 --> 00:28:15.640 X Sometimes I get around to Instagram. It's more difficult, but I uh, 394 00:28:17.000 --> 00:28:18.799 yeah, I've done a couple of ads for White nokle in it and 395 00:28:18.960 --> 00:28:22.599 reacted. I got a couple of clicks. I think once we get dialed 396 00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:26.200 in with recovery adds or where we want it, we eventually want it filmed, 397 00:28:26.599 --> 00:28:29.720 you know, we want to do that, but we're going to need 398 00:28:29.720 --> 00:28:32.720 a location for that. There's a lot of things and a lot of things 399 00:28:32.799 --> 00:28:37.319 going on right now too, so it's kind of hard to like focus on 400 00:28:37.400 --> 00:28:41.240 that right but we'll we'll figure it out. But once we kind of get 401 00:28:41.240 --> 00:28:42.200 it down to where we want to be with it, and once we get 402 00:28:42.200 --> 00:28:47.200 our by the show up at Tuesday eight am, Yeah that for some reason, 403 00:28:47.240 --> 00:28:49.240 it's difficult, Yeah, start somewhere, you know, So we'll start 404 00:28:49.240 --> 00:28:56.400 there with that. But with with the podcast kind of going how I never 405 00:28:56.440 --> 00:29:00.079 expected it, you know, still here, and I wanted it to go 406 00:29:00.119 --> 00:29:03.960 this far, and I wanted to go till I'm dead, you know, 407 00:29:03.079 --> 00:29:07.240 and it probably will. But that's a lot of podcasts, man, if 408 00:29:07.240 --> 00:29:08.920 you think about it. But I also said I want to make a movie. 409 00:29:10.440 --> 00:29:11.000 It's like, well, how I'm going to make a movie? Well, 410 00:29:11.000 --> 00:29:12.839 I don't know. Let me research. It's like, okay, well 411 00:29:12.839 --> 00:29:15.119 I need a script. Okay, well I need a storyboard, wrote it 412 00:29:15.200 --> 00:29:18.599 or I don't know how to do any of that. But I've been working 413 00:29:18.640 --> 00:29:22.519 on it in my mind, writing some things down on my phone. And 414 00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:26.720 last night I came up with the script and I also came up with the 415 00:29:26.759 --> 00:29:30.119 idea too. This was probably about a month or so ago to make a 416 00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:34.079 short film and they say those are not supposed to be over five minutes. 417 00:29:34.160 --> 00:29:37.559 I'm like, that's something that could really open the door into and I can 418 00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:41.319 learn a lot from it. And you know, so I came up with 419 00:29:41.319 --> 00:29:49.640 a storyboard and all that. Last night I put it down and magiced it 420 00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:52.519 out and so we have that and that's pretty cool and I think we're going 421 00:29:52.599 --> 00:29:57.359 to film it this fall. Deck You're going to star in it. Pretty 422 00:29:57.359 --> 00:30:04.000 excited your first starring role, Yeah, whoa and nervous he has that commercially 423 00:30:04.039 --> 00:30:11.160 did Yeah, fabulous, which if anything is gonna say star, I would 424 00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:15.519 say he was the star of fabulous. Oh yeah, absolutely. I was 425 00:30:15.519 --> 00:30:18.359 the only one in it. Yeah. But I'm just saying, like their 426 00:30:18.440 --> 00:30:22.759 kids in it, Karen's rushing the kids away, right, That's the best 427 00:30:22.759 --> 00:30:29.920 part of it all man bubbles and stuff Like when the drone was having problems 428 00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:32.440 landing and I was doing something, I'm like freaking out and the kid comes 429 00:30:32.440 --> 00:30:34.440 over, there's a drone. His moms comes running over. No, get 430 00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:41.240 away from them. Are you sure it's born pink bubbla fine, fine, 431 00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:45.839 put them shades back on. Put them pink shades on. The amount of 432 00:30:45.880 --> 00:30:49.119 time it was travers City, so it should be widely accepted. Out that 433 00:30:49.160 --> 00:30:52.640 swing, you're elting John out. But the amount of times I'm showing that 434 00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:57.759 to people and they almost pissed themselves laughing when you're on the swing, just 435 00:30:57.920 --> 00:31:02.200 swing in the bubble and this this rainom little kid that runs by in the 436 00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:08.160 back. Seeing that videos online to seventeen Recovery do Colum fn M Park was 437 00:31:08.240 --> 00:31:15.440 just there's nobody there for three days after it probably wasn't please didn't come rolling 438 00:31:15.480 --> 00:31:18.079 by. Yeah they did. Well, we were doing the bear video. 439 00:31:18.279 --> 00:31:25.079 Yeah, that's another funny one. Mitch driving around this bear mask on people 440 00:31:25.720 --> 00:31:30.440 like what, Oh, I sign him a picture of It's a scouts at 441 00:31:30.440 --> 00:31:36.960 the bottom of like a billboard. It's a leaf okay to wipe with and 442 00:31:37.119 --> 00:31:41.000 leaf not okay to wipe with. Yeah, I responded, that's why there's 443 00:31:41.039 --> 00:31:44.279 TP in my trunk. Yeah, he's not going out there like that, 444 00:31:44.759 --> 00:31:48.000 he's toilet paper. You do that once and you start putting TP in your 445 00:31:48.079 --> 00:31:52.880 trunk and Mitch Mitch re enacted a real situation that happened to him once, 446 00:31:52.920 --> 00:31:56.160 but he wasn't wearing the bear masks the first time, and no but for 447 00:31:56.240 --> 00:32:00.319 his scent bear because we were joking and I didn't start wearing the bear mascout 448 00:32:00.359 --> 00:32:07.000 in public until after that. Yeah. We were joking on the podcast about 449 00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:10.599 a commercial in the sense we had sense what would it be and blah blah 450 00:32:10.599 --> 00:32:14.519 blah. We still got to do yours. Yeah, I don't remember, 451 00:32:14.759 --> 00:32:17.680 and the other ones that we have props for that we just haven't done. 452 00:32:17.960 --> 00:32:24.640 Oh, the Bear two, the bear black version be noir? Okay, 453 00:32:25.880 --> 00:32:35.039 what was yours? Justin I don't remember. Something tremendous, isn't that Booty 454 00:32:35.160 --> 00:32:38.119 or something I don't know. It was something like it was pretty crazy out 455 00:32:38.160 --> 00:32:45.240 there, detrimental. Yeah, you guys are not kind. I need to 456 00:32:47.440 --> 00:32:51.240 maybe we'll get to it today. I want to mention something that you said 457 00:32:51.240 --> 00:32:53.799 were talking about before all right, when you were talking about doing your movie. 458 00:32:54.160 --> 00:32:59.559 He decided to do a short film instead. And that's actually a really 459 00:32:59.599 --> 00:33:04.720 awesome recovery analogy that I talk about, especially with people across the street at 460 00:33:04.720 --> 00:33:08.559 the pier when we want to go there and do meetings is sometimes you know, 461 00:33:08.599 --> 00:33:12.480 when you're especially in early recovery, you want the big thing, you 462 00:33:12.519 --> 00:33:15.599 want everything, You want it all now. You want to fix everything you've 463 00:33:15.599 --> 00:33:19.240 broken. You want your house back, your car back, everything you lost 464 00:33:19.240 --> 00:33:23.119 in your country song. You want back right now, and like it's not 465 00:33:23.680 --> 00:33:28.680 tangible and you're gonna overwhelm yourself. And so I always tell people it's kind 466 00:33:28.680 --> 00:33:32.119 of like having a ladder and if your steps are too far apart, you're 467 00:33:32.119 --> 00:33:35.680 not gonna be able to reach it and you're not gonna be able to climb 468 00:33:35.720 --> 00:33:38.920 up it properly. So I think it's really cool that you've decided to do 469 00:33:39.000 --> 00:33:44.039 the short film, because it is that it's it's cutting your goal and your 470 00:33:44.119 --> 00:33:49.160 dream into smaller steps. Yeah, and you're and you're achieving it still. 471 00:33:49.240 --> 00:33:52.680 You know, I'm still gonna make the other movie one day, but yeah, 472 00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:54.960 yeah, this will and it's does it makes sense, you know, 473 00:33:55.119 --> 00:34:00.759 like start with something short, just get some experience, center my belt, 474 00:34:00.799 --> 00:34:04.519 you know, make a few short films and see what I can do and 475 00:34:04.640 --> 00:34:08.280 see if I'm any good at it and well and find out what you need 476 00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:17.559 to work on. And it just wantsn't need to buy Yeah, no, 477 00:34:17.599 --> 00:34:21.039 but it really does. It gets you. It's one step up that lighter. 478 00:34:21.079 --> 00:34:23.280 It gets you closer to the goal of what you really want to do. 479 00:34:23.440 --> 00:34:28.679 So yeah, and I think just being as a person recovery and we 480 00:34:28.719 --> 00:34:31.440 all recover out loud as they say, I think that's good. You know. 481 00:34:31.519 --> 00:34:35.840 Not everybody wants to be out there like, hey, I'm in recovery, 482 00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:39.679 which for me it helps. Yeah, I decided to change my life 483 00:34:39.679 --> 00:34:44.000 for the better. People want to judge me for that, okay, yeah, 484 00:34:44.320 --> 00:34:46.079 But to have dreams and goals and to start achieving them and then they 485 00:34:46.199 --> 00:34:49.440 start showing people like I said, I'm going to do this, and then 486 00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:52.199 you do it. And justin you've seen a lot of things I said I 487 00:34:52.239 --> 00:34:53.039 was going to do it, and you see me do it, and you're 488 00:34:53.039 --> 00:34:55.719 like, Okay, that dude's not playing like it might sound crazy as shit 489 00:34:55.760 --> 00:34:59.559 when he says it, you might look at him like, Okay, Corey, 490 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.440 how are we gonna do that? But remember three years ago he's like, 491 00:35:02.519 --> 00:35:07.119 one day we'll have an office. One day we'll have grants. A 492 00:35:07.239 --> 00:35:10.599 year later, same thing, We're gonna have an office. One day, 493 00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:14.719 we're gonna have a grants. I just have this really good feeling Justine's gonna 494 00:35:14.719 --> 00:35:19.679 happen really soon, and it finally panned out. Look at me, No, 495 00:35:19.760 --> 00:35:23.039 I don't just have an office. I have a whole lobby. One 496 00:35:23.119 --> 00:35:28.920 day, Mitch'll have an office with a door that shuts. Not next to 497 00:35:28.920 --> 00:35:34.480 the bathroom. I do want to be not next to the bathroom. Well 498 00:35:35.159 --> 00:35:37.320 that's your second home. I don't even want to hear it. I have 499 00:35:37.360 --> 00:35:45.119 not blown that up as bad as other people in this place. Karma non, 500 00:35:45.519 --> 00:35:49.519 Like like you said, Mitch, you know like sometimes you have to 501 00:35:50.039 --> 00:35:52.800 readjust you know you realize, oh that goal is too big, or that's 502 00:35:52.880 --> 00:35:55.840 it's so big it's unachievable that I'm just gonna give up and run away, 503 00:35:57.320 --> 00:35:59.960 and that's a lot of times. A lot of times people will do that 504 00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:01.599 and early recovery, you know, like, oh I want this, I 505 00:36:01.639 --> 00:36:05.039 want that everything that I lost in the country song, I want it all 506 00:36:05.079 --> 00:36:07.079 back now today. And it doesn't work that way, and then so you 507 00:36:07.119 --> 00:36:08.920 just give up. Yeah, And I did that many times, you know, 508 00:36:09.039 --> 00:36:15.679 going on my road to recovery and to be able to like pace yourself. 509 00:36:15.719 --> 00:36:19.519 And then you see it and you realize, like that that goals too 510 00:36:19.599 --> 00:36:22.920 much. Well, here's the better option. I work on short films, 511 00:36:23.000 --> 00:36:27.880 you know, I get good at it, and I buy all the equipment 512 00:36:27.920 --> 00:36:30.000 that I need, all of it and another house to store it in. 513 00:36:31.320 --> 00:36:36.800 And we need a prop house, we really do. Anybody knows a good 514 00:36:36.840 --> 00:36:39.280 office, we're the second office is what we need. We need a studio 515 00:36:39.320 --> 00:36:44.079 office and then this office. Yeah, or just a big enough office to 516 00:36:44.079 --> 00:36:49.079 where it's all in one. Yeah. I need some capital. Heybody knows 517 00:36:49.159 --> 00:36:51.239 rich people out there that they're like, man, where can I give this 518 00:36:51.760 --> 00:36:55.199 million dollars to well to seventeen recovery? Would love to have it. Yeah, 519 00:36:55.320 --> 00:36:59.519 for a building here, changing people's lives. We love our landlord. 520 00:36:59.559 --> 00:37:02.000 She's also but we're just saying, you know, we need a studio, 521 00:37:02.280 --> 00:37:07.840 like a movie studio that like just the studio office that we need like a 522 00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:13.880 studio studio. I wonder if I wonder if she did do all three of 523 00:37:13.920 --> 00:37:16.679 these suites and put like a doorway into each of them, and then we 524 00:37:16.719 --> 00:37:22.880 can have like studio in the different offices and one's more for like the outpatient, 525 00:37:23.440 --> 00:37:27.840 like the meetings and stuff. And then we take over across the street 526 00:37:27.840 --> 00:37:31.960 too, across the across the parking line. Oh okay, cool, Yeah 527 00:37:32.039 --> 00:37:38.079 we need a tunnel. Yeah, we just take this whole place, like 528 00:37:38.119 --> 00:37:42.920 how much you want for all of them, like a studio, A, 529 00:37:43.159 --> 00:37:45.360 B C. This is where we filmed this, This is where we do 530 00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:51.519 that. This is where we do this to seventeen ABC Recovery. See that's 531 00:37:51.559 --> 00:37:58.159 Corey's office. The whole thing is. And we all have our own bathrooms, 532 00:38:00.559 --> 00:38:05.480 yep. And air conditionings and heaters. Boy can dream, you know, 533 00:38:05.519 --> 00:38:07.159 that's all we can do. But without dreams and without goals, it 534 00:38:07.199 --> 00:38:12.400 gets really hard for people. So you know, like just I'm sure you 535 00:38:12.440 --> 00:38:15.039 tell people, Mitch, I'm sure you do this as well, you know, 536 00:38:15.119 --> 00:38:16.320 to tell them to you know, write down a few things, what 537 00:38:16.360 --> 00:38:19.920 are you going to accomplish in a year? How are you going to get 538 00:38:19.920 --> 00:38:23.079 there? Because without having a goal, without something you want to obtain, 539 00:38:23.199 --> 00:38:27.159 you don't have the desire to obtain it, And everything starts with desire. 540 00:38:27.639 --> 00:38:29.920 And sure, you might tell people, oh, I want to be sober, 541 00:38:30.039 --> 00:38:32.000 I want to stop taking pills, I want to stop using heroin or 542 00:38:32.000 --> 00:38:37.639 whatever, but do you really have that desire to you know, you need 543 00:38:37.679 --> 00:38:43.000 something else that outweighs it. You know, if it's just equal drugs win, 544 00:38:43.719 --> 00:38:45.119 you know that if there's something that you really really want in life, 545 00:38:46.079 --> 00:38:50.360 you know, you got to put that on a higher pedestal than the drug. 546 00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:54.800 And and nobody's having fun using drugs, No, it gets to that 547 00:38:54.840 --> 00:38:59.639 point where it's not fun anymore. It's a it's a bitch. You really 548 00:38:59.679 --> 00:39:01.079 don't like the people are hanging out with and you were kind of wondering how 549 00:39:01.079 --> 00:39:05.159 that I get here. Only way to get out of that is keep using 550 00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:09.199 and get right back into this funk of just walking through the world blind and 551 00:39:09.400 --> 00:39:15.920 just numb. You know, I did a group yesterday and the topic was 552 00:39:16.480 --> 00:39:22.480 what made us relapse last? You know, to get everybody more engaged, 553 00:39:22.519 --> 00:39:25.800 and I shared my last relapse, you know, and how my last relapse 554 00:39:25.880 --> 00:39:31.960 really took me four years to come to recovery, you know, and what 555 00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:37.599 I had to go through legal troubles and everything. And then I told them 556 00:39:37.639 --> 00:39:40.159 all. I was like, but you know, even though I didn't want 557 00:39:40.199 --> 00:39:44.679 to do it, there was times I didn't want to do anything, but 558 00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:47.840 those are the times that I had to do something. And those were the 559 00:39:47.880 --> 00:39:52.400 times that really stuck out to me. Like I didn't want to go to 560 00:39:52.440 --> 00:39:55.119 sober living at first, I wanted to go back home. Pole told me 561 00:39:55.159 --> 00:39:58.920 I couldn't go back home, so I had to go to sober living, 562 00:39:59.440 --> 00:40:02.679 not like I really had a choice. And those are the things that I 563 00:40:02.800 --> 00:40:07.679 really stressed to him yesterday. It's like, if you were to cut your 564 00:40:07.679 --> 00:40:10.679 hand off, right, it's gonna hurt. Are you gonna want the doctor 565 00:40:10.719 --> 00:40:15.960 to give you some pills for that so it doesn't hurt so bad? With 566 00:40:16.039 --> 00:40:21.360 analogies, I can see where's he going with it. I'm trying. I'm 567 00:40:21.400 --> 00:40:23.119 like, okay, I'm trying to connect the dots, all right. So 568 00:40:23.960 --> 00:40:27.239 yeah, so if you cut your hand, if you're gonna go, you're 569 00:40:27.280 --> 00:40:30.880 gonna get the doctor. Okay, you get a tooth pulled. You're gonna 570 00:40:30.880 --> 00:40:32.760 want something to help the pain, you know, and it's to mask that 571 00:40:32.800 --> 00:40:36.360 pains, to cover up that pain. The drugs are the same thing, 572 00:40:36.920 --> 00:40:40.039 alcohol, math, heroin, it's all the same thing. We're masking a 573 00:40:40.119 --> 00:40:45.760 pain, yep. And that would be a natural thing to do. You 574 00:40:45.800 --> 00:40:47.199 know. If I come a hand off, I would want somebody to give 575 00:40:47.239 --> 00:40:51.239 me something to stop the pain. I wouldn't want them to go, oh, 576 00:40:51.239 --> 00:40:52.480 you're an addict, caudn't give you this. I'd be like, motherfucker, 577 00:40:52.519 --> 00:40:55.559 you better give me that shit now my hand has got off. I'm 578 00:40:55.639 --> 00:41:00.239 an idiot, you know. But other people might go no, no, 579 00:41:00.119 --> 00:41:04.039 no, that's too much for me. But it's just something that is a 580 00:41:04.119 --> 00:41:07.079 natural thing to do. So for society to turn into this, oh, 581 00:41:07.119 --> 00:41:08.360 you're a bad person. You're a bad person. You're a bad person, 582 00:41:08.559 --> 00:41:14.559 it is very unfair, you know. And sure, there's pieces of shit 583 00:41:14.639 --> 00:41:16.800 in recovery. There's pieces of shit in the world. You can't like lump 584 00:41:16.800 --> 00:41:21.719 it into other pieces of shit there in recovery. You can't really lump them 585 00:41:21.719 --> 00:41:23.760 in together. You know. There's just people that are not good people. 586 00:41:23.800 --> 00:41:29.760 There's people that are great people, you know, and you can't just watch 587 00:41:29.840 --> 00:41:31.840 a movie where they're like, oh, arrest him. He's a junkie. 588 00:41:31.880 --> 00:41:35.960 Look at him. He's walking down the street hitting people or whatever they do 589 00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:38.159 in bad analogy. I know, Mitch, I know, I see your 590 00:41:38.159 --> 00:41:42.880 face. Well, you know, I've read this little short story on Facebook 591 00:41:42.880 --> 00:41:45.920 a while back ago. I've seen it a few times down there, and 592 00:41:45.960 --> 00:41:52.000 it talked about this church getting a new pastor and before service started for his 593 00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:53.920 first service, he went out in front of his church and acted like a 594 00:41:53.920 --> 00:41:58.119 homeless person. Oh yeah, I saw that to see how many of his 595 00:41:58.239 --> 00:42:01.239 congregations and one of them would help, and not one of them would help, 596 00:42:02.320 --> 00:42:05.880 and it was just really sad. And he walked in there and goes, 597 00:42:06.440 --> 00:42:09.280 all you guys should be ashamed of yourselves. He goes, not one 598 00:42:09.320 --> 00:42:15.920 of you helped me out front of the building, and it just it was 599 00:42:15.960 --> 00:42:19.519 just mind blowing, you know. And he's like, that's not what Jesus 600 00:42:19.519 --> 00:42:22.039 taught us in the gospels. No, you know, he taught us to 601 00:42:22.079 --> 00:42:25.639 be carrying and kind to everybody, no matter where they're at in their life. 602 00:42:25.679 --> 00:42:34.280 I put I put your money in this basket. Your analogies made me 603 00:42:34.320 --> 00:42:37.719 think of this video. I almost sent you last night, and I was 604 00:42:37.760 --> 00:42:42.559 gonna be like, we're doing it wrong for the recovery anything. It was 605 00:42:42.599 --> 00:42:45.760 just this little kid walking down side the sidewalk. And then it was from 606 00:42:45.760 --> 00:42:50.280 like the eighties or something in a commercial and this guy comes out and it's 607 00:42:50.360 --> 00:42:53.840 obviously ibuprofen in his hands, but he comes like sticks his arm out of 608 00:42:53.920 --> 00:42:58.840 cars, like, hey, little boy, you want some drugs. He's 609 00:42:58.960 --> 00:43:02.199 like what. And then this other guy they're all ethnic in some way too, 610 00:43:02.360 --> 00:43:07.480 so that's why it was the worst, but opens this door of this 611 00:43:07.679 --> 00:43:09.559 van. He's like, you want to get into my van, little girl? 612 00:43:09.760 --> 00:43:15.280 I got candy. And then there's another one where was these old white 613 00:43:15.320 --> 00:43:22.000 men I don't know what's like bandanazon offer this kid some looked like a joint 614 00:43:22.079 --> 00:43:27.239 or something like that, and then they're like no, all together at the 615 00:43:27.360 --> 00:43:31.639 end, we're going. And then they're like roller skating and it was a 616 00:43:31.800 --> 00:43:40.320 roller skating rink commercial somewhere in the South No, And I was like, 617 00:43:40.400 --> 00:43:51.599 we need to change up our advertising. It's so bad. Myn analogies are 618 00:43:52.159 --> 00:43:57.320 pretty bad, right, But that guy took his hand out the window. 619 00:43:57.360 --> 00:44:06.760 I was like, that's I'd be profunn. There's good people in addiction, 620 00:44:07.239 --> 00:44:08.800 you know, there there really are, and the need a little bit of 621 00:44:08.800 --> 00:44:14.239 help. They need a little little bit of love, Like Justin said from 622 00:44:14.280 --> 00:44:15.800 the Preacher, you know, like we gotta we gotta show some compassion a 623 00:44:15.840 --> 00:44:22.440 little bit. And can we empathize with everybody, No, but I can 624 00:44:22.239 --> 00:44:29.440 have empathy for people, you know, who've been down that road of alcoholism, 625 00:44:29.639 --> 00:44:32.480 Justin. You can empathize with people who do the uppers, you know, 626 00:44:32.920 --> 00:44:37.280 Mitch, you can do alcohol, food, porn, whatever your thing 627 00:44:37.400 --> 00:44:42.199 is. I don't know what it is, just throwing things out there, 628 00:44:45.199 --> 00:44:49.840 but you know, we can still come to that common point of addiction. 629 00:44:50.039 --> 00:44:53.320 You know, even people with gambling disorder. I don't know exactly what they're 630 00:44:53.360 --> 00:44:57.679 going through, but I do know that guilt. I know what that feels 631 00:44:57.719 --> 00:45:00.559 like, the shame, I know what that feels like. You know. 632 00:45:00.679 --> 00:45:05.760 So I welcomed them with open arms, and I'm just a ten grand went 633 00:45:05.840 --> 00:45:10.559 away from being in my life back gambling attic myself. You know, like 634 00:45:10.559 --> 00:45:15.719 if I would have went to the casino and hit that ten grand, who 635 00:45:15.760 --> 00:45:19.679 knows, you know, like, yeah, I've never won at the casino, 636 00:45:20.599 --> 00:45:22.960 thank god, right, Yeah, yeah, because I've gone a few 637 00:45:22.000 --> 00:45:25.519 different times, and I always lose. I'm like, why would I go 638 00:45:25.599 --> 00:45:30.039 here to waste my money? I got drugs to buy. I thought, 639 00:45:30.519 --> 00:45:36.320 right, put this in there to the liquor store or you know. Back 640 00:45:36.360 --> 00:45:38.719 even when I was fishing all the time, I'm like, I could spend 641 00:45:38.719 --> 00:45:44.760 that money and lures and we're tying flies and like that becomes addictive all in 642 00:45:44.800 --> 00:45:47.239 itself, you know. Yeah, since cameras, right, I tell you, 643 00:45:49.440 --> 00:45:52.360 at least I have something. At least you have a tackle box full 644 00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:57.400 of shit. Time flies doesn't kill your liver? No, no, no, 645 00:45:57.880 --> 00:46:00.679 don't. At least you know I have cameras. I can always resell 646 00:46:00.719 --> 00:46:07.159 them or whatever. Never know, when you're on set and having cameras you 647 00:46:07.159 --> 00:46:12.559 even need. Do you have anything from your life of using that you can 648 00:46:12.599 --> 00:46:19.280 invest other than the obvious experience because we use our experience there every day. 649 00:46:19.559 --> 00:46:23.119 Yeah, in our life. But I got all news stuff after I got 650 00:46:23.760 --> 00:46:29.000 That's what I'm saying, all news stuff. I find stuff all the time 651 00:46:29.519 --> 00:46:30.960 that are from that time, and I just want to get rid of it, 652 00:46:31.320 --> 00:46:35.920 like this is worth nothing to me. Get out of here, Like 653 00:46:36.320 --> 00:46:40.360 how we move to the mansion in the hills. I threw a lot of 654 00:46:40.360 --> 00:46:45.320 stuff away that was just like in bags, like radio stuff, like autograph 655 00:46:45.400 --> 00:46:47.599 stuff. I think there was the three of the Dead Man CDs I threw 656 00:46:47.639 --> 00:46:52.880 away. It was autographed. I was like, really, autograph towel by 657 00:46:52.960 --> 00:46:55.920 Seither. I was just like, I don't need that shit anymore? Like 658 00:46:55.960 --> 00:47:02.239 what is that to me? Look at mister christ concert every other weekend? 659 00:47:02.440 --> 00:47:06.039 Is is having a hard time with hearing this movie? Yeah, I know 660 00:47:07.360 --> 00:47:13.119 before it's always so depressing. I'm really not trying to be a hoarder, 661 00:47:13.119 --> 00:47:15.679 but you know, it's some At one point I'm like, oh, this 662 00:47:15.679 --> 00:47:17.239 would be cool to keep, but I've kept it. What It's just a 663 00:47:17.360 --> 00:47:22.119 drawer somewhere. M I'm gonna pull it off here. Parker's either signing this, 664 00:47:22.159 --> 00:47:27.679 You'll be like, cool, Okay, Who's who's that? Does this 665 00:47:27.800 --> 00:47:31.880 new little internet dance away? Yeah? I don't even know what that is. 666 00:47:32.480 --> 00:47:35.960 You know, there's some things you just realize, like is that important 667 00:47:35.960 --> 00:47:38.039 for me to keep? Not? Really? You can put it on your 668 00:47:38.039 --> 00:47:44.800 wall and put a light on it. Yeah, art, Yeah, I 669 00:47:44.880 --> 00:47:47.559 used to have it hanging up the towel I used to have hanging up over 670 00:47:49.000 --> 00:47:52.280 in his apartment. I had like this big. I think it was an 671 00:47:52.280 --> 00:47:54.440 event. It's probably something you shouldn't cover because I think it was maybe an 672 00:47:54.639 --> 00:47:59.840 air return and I covered it with a towel at one point because I thought 673 00:47:59.840 --> 00:48:02.679 that was cool. But yeah, I don't know. I got that's somebody 674 00:48:02.719 --> 00:48:08.519 to shoo away. It's like that's a shame. But it's like you realize 675 00:48:08.559 --> 00:48:13.840 what's important and what's not. Oh, that's that's important to me, right, 676 00:48:13.960 --> 00:48:15.639 And we have stuff And where I was going is like we have stuff 677 00:48:15.639 --> 00:48:20.440 that we've invested in. It's worth stuff. We're doing good stuff with it, 678 00:48:21.039 --> 00:48:23.960 and I just there's nothing from my using life that I can put in 679 00:48:24.039 --> 00:48:31.119 that category. So well, that will wrap up today's episode. Minch a 680 00:48:31.159 --> 00:48:37.480 good job to close her out. Yeah, anything you want to add justin 681 00:48:37.559 --> 00:48:43.840 before we you know, okay, it's like where did you throw those exactly? 682 00:48:44.480 --> 00:48:45.880 If you have a problem and you do need to reach out to somebody, 683 00:48:45.920 --> 00:48:50.400 feel free. We're available. You can find us online. It's very 684 00:48:50.440 --> 00:48:53.360 easy to contact us. Yeah to seventeen Recovery dot Com is our website. 685 00:48:53.760 --> 00:48:57.400 We have an app as well, and you can find that in the app 686 00:48:57.400 --> 00:49:00.360 store. You can actually also go to our meetings that are here at the 687 00:49:00.400 --> 00:49:05.760 two seventeen Recovery sounds very simple. You can zoom and we'll just a clickable 688 00:49:05.800 --> 00:49:07.599 button, click any of the meetings you want to join, and you send 689 00:49:07.599 --> 00:49:13.400 me run into it. Yeah. Well, thanks for listening and we will 690 00:49:13.440 --> 00:49:16.320 talk to you again at a time with my choosings later. Hi, thanks 691 00:49:16.400 --> 00:49:22.440 for listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast. Listen to over nine hundred episodes 692 00:49:22.480 --> 00:49:27.079 on the two seventeen Recovery app that's free in your app store or online at 693 00:49:27.079 --> 00:49:31.760 two seventeen recovery dot com.