WEBVTT

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Hello everybody, and welcome to the
best ever you show here in YouTube format

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and over on our podcast if you're
listening or watching. We're so glad that

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you're here with us. I'm Elizabeth
Hamilton Garrino, and with me is my

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guest Alfonsis. Obey you wanna?
I got it right, Obey you wanna?

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Did I say it right? Yes? Definitely? Yay? All right,

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there's happiness right there now. Alfonsis
is the and I could really be

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doctor. He is the author of
this book, the Happiness Formula, and

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I'm going to put that in there
a little bit closer because hope over hunger

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equals happiness. And we're going to
talk all about happiness and your book.

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And thank you for being here,
Thank you for having me please. Yeah.

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So you've done a lot in your
life. I don't have you completely

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memorized, but you've been you know, been a doctor and taught, so

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probably would thousands be safe to say? Oh definitely. Can you tell us

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us a little bit more about yourself
and what your website is, so it's

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from you, all right. My
website is www dot Triple Hproject dot com

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and I'm a physician, scientist.
I have taught in many medical schools,

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teaching medical students and residents that miss
younger doctors that are trained to be to

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specialize. And I have been doing
research on human hope since I was a

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medical student. And the instrument that
I developed even as a medical student for

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measuring hope was adopted by Coca Cola, General, Mottos, Veteran Administration,

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and many other institutions. I got
it as a project that was funded by

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the NIH and the National of Medical
Fellowship And since then I have been doing

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research on hope. And then when
happiness became a big deal after Martin Seligman

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became the president of the American Psychological
Association, that's when I started to find

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out why the psychologist has zero in
in more hope onhappiness rather than hope,

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because hope is what is missing when
people attempt suicide. So I would think

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that hope is more important than happiness. So I was trying to find out

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we're talking about the same thing.
Can you have one without the order?

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And that is what led me to
the research and that brought about the happiness

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formula that we are talking about today. Let me go back to you in

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med school and ask you why happiness? Why the topic of happiness? What

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sparked that moment for you to go
down this path? Okay, In medical

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school you rotate through different sections after
your pre clinical years. You go through

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pediatrics, you go through surgery,
you go through psychiatry. When I was

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rotating through psychiatry, that's how I
met to patients who we admitted for attempted

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suicide, and that's how it became
very interested in the study of human hope.

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Hope was my study. I was
not studying happiness until the movement of

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positive psychology came on with Martin Seligman, and that is when I started to

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ask why happiness, Why not hope, since hope is what is absent when

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people attempt suicide. And that is
how I found the relationship between hope and

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happiness that led to the formula.
You know, if I can personally just

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tell you a little bit of a
story here about hope. My father is

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a topic of my first book,
Percolate, Let Your Best Self Filter Through,

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which was a hay House book,
and it talked all about him having

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a stroke at age sixty back into
two thousand and four and surviving and surviving

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things that people just don't generally survive. They called the ICU crew, called

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him an ICU warrior. They put
him in a comb and all the things

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that go with multiple strokes and brain
bleeds and things like that, and he

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survived from two thousand and four to
twenty eighteen and phenomenal, no memory loss,

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no anything. Just had field cuts
and a little bit of mobility issues

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as a result and things like that, but nothing to you know, nothing

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to correspond to the level of stroke
injury that had happened to him. But

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anyway, my father taught me so
much about hope in those moments and that

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whole entire time of him being ill. Hope, I think is what hope

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and faith carried him through. Absolutely. It wasn't necessarily about happiness, because

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every day certainly wasn't happy, But
he had a lot of hope and he

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would cling to hope. All humans
do. We are all hoping. Remember

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now that we are all obsessed about
the future. Okay, we are all

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obsessed about the future, sure,
and hope is the only antidude for any

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anxiety about the future. There's nothing
else you can do, no matter how

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much money you have, how much
opportunity you have. Today nobody knows about

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tomorrow, and is what gives you
informed the courage to live on? Yeah,

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did you have any personal experiences other
than that moment in school with your

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own struggles or confidence for them that
matter, with hope and happiness and things

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like that. Have you ever had
a moment where you're like, oh,

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I don't know how I'm going to
get through this. I'm going to cling

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to hope or whatever. Have you
had? Have you have personal things that

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you would share if you don't want
and you can just take a definitely much

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after that. As a medical student, a young medical student, you know,

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I thought, you know, life
was easy. I've always passed all

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my exams. I'm in medical school. In fact, I was enrolled in

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two degrees. I was studying biochemistry, getting a PhD in biochemistry and an

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MD for medicine. And so when
I saw people that attempted suicide and they

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just thought that today it's just like
yesterday. Tomorrow is not going to be

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any different, was the use.
I was very very well became very well

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connected with the idea of hope,
so that if we can't detect a decrease

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in hope Ellie enough, we can't
prevent suicide. That was the whole idea

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about studying hope, and I made
it scale for measuring hope. But later

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on in life, of course,
I have many instances well, I hope.

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It has been very very good for
me to keep it's grounding almost like

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gratitude and so forth. I've nearly
well, I have lost my life to

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and come back from life threatening food
allergic reactions. I have terrible life threatening

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food allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, fish and shellfish, and have a

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medical a lort On and a whole
bit. And it's boy, I don't

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think I knew hope and faith and
gratitude and all those things until my father

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got really sick. I felt like
I was a victim for the longest time.

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And there's there's so many worse things
that can happen to you and so

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forth, food allergies, you know, but for me it was it was

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crushing and so and I just I
know that feeling of clinging to hope and

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things that are like almost like a
higher vibrational energy than the low to guide

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you through those moments and so forth. Like I'm thinking about, like lives

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you must have saved over the years, with all the things that you've done,

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you just must be like this have
saved lives, the the pleasure has

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been mine. And but as you
know now, countries are now trying a

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proposed by the United Nations to use
the happiness of its citizens as the barrel

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metter for measuring how well the country
is doing, because how happy, how

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happy the citizens are is the true
test of how the country is doing most

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than GDP. You probably I could. I can see that if you're walking

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around. So who's the happiest?
So that's what we that's what countries are

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trying to use now. So this
happiness formula comes at a time where we

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really need to measure happiness. People
talk about happiness, but there's no way

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a good way of measuring it until
this formula. Yeah, so tell us

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about Oh sorry, I don't mean
to interrupt you at all. That's just

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that's just me. Do you who's
the Do you know who the happiest country

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is or city? Like? Is
there is it happening? Like where we

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truly are measuring these things and there's
results. There is what they call the

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Happiness World Happiness Report that comes out
every year. It just came out the

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newest one just came out March twenty
eight, just weeks ago. Yeah,

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but the way they I use,
the method they are using for measuring happiness

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is very highly flawed, and that
is why I am challenging them, telling

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them to use a better method,
such as is in this book. They

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are just asking people basically how satisfied
you feel with your life from zero to

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ten? And people, you know, we say seven, eight, nineteen

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five three, And I'm saying that
is very too simplistic and very poorly informative

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and hugely hugely rudymetry as a way
of measuring happiness. Because the person who

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is happy is the only one who
knows how happy he or she is.

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And when you just ask people how
are you doing, which we ask people

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every day, they say, oh, I'm doing fine. How are you

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doing? Oh? Everything is fine. People don't even think about it,

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they just answer it. But happiness
has courses. There are things that provoke

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happiness. How do those things come
about? And that is what this book

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is all about. If you know
your score of hope and your score of

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hunger hunger meaning compelling desire. If
your hope is higher than your hunger,

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you are happy. If your hunger
is higher than your hope, you will

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be unhappy. Most people are in
the middle with moderate hope and moderate hunger.

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But those people with very high hope
and low hunger those are ones we

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call flourishing individuals. And those with
very overwhelming hunger but low hope those are

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the languishing individuals and in between and
most people. So knowing where you are

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in the spectrum is very important.
Yeah, how do we know how?

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And this can be quantified by in
the book, there is a hope scale

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and the hunger scale on you.
Once you know your hope scale, are

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you divide your hope scale by your
home guy scale, what you get is

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your personal happiness index, which is
called pH I. For the first time,

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we can now quantify happiness and you
know where you are. So you

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would really have to sit people down
and ask them these questions and really spend

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ten minutes with them or so or
maybe more to maybe not that much,

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but to actually to actually come up
with the score the result and then yeah,

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minutes, but more than one question
are you happy exactly? Because you

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can't get that much information just just
from one half the people lie anyway,

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Oh yeah, I'm great. Thanks
and also sometimes people boast oh yeah in

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the West, now in the East. In Asia, people are trained to

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be modest when they are assessing themselves, so they in Asia and in the

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Eastern cultures people are likely to say
five or six from zero to ten,

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but in the West they might say
eight, nine or ten. Also,

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there are people who see that as
a political as a patriotic issue, and

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when you say how satisfied are you
are in the country you are in,

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can say nine or ten as a
patriotic issue. Some people would see it

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as a political statement, as a
time to say how bad the government is

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doing and say a three or four. Okay. So there are so many

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things that are there that gives a
destructed picture. Finland for the past six

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years has been declared the happiest country
in the world. But because they are

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using the wrong method. I don't
think Pheinland is number one. The Finnish

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people they have the highest they are
the highest users of anti despressants in Europe.

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Wow. The air suicide rate in
Phinland is higher than the suicide rate

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of Afghanistan, which is supposedly the
unhappiest country in the world see and so

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is definitely wrong. Y Yeah,
so what about Okay, so we know

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the formula, that's it's right on
the on the book, and then the

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questions are in the book to follow
through, so you can do this yourself

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at five minutes. Yeah, but
what about if yeah, it's not complicated

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all I just looked at it again. What if there's outside factors at play

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here? Like if you're asking me
how hopeful happiness and happy I am and

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so forth during COVID, you know
what if there's an outside force happening,

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I are you likely to see different
answers in those moments? Yeah? You

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know, it took me ten years
to get out to get to these.

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So all the factors are in in
this equation. Your hopes, your assets,

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your hungers, and your aspirations are
plugged into the into the equation to

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find your personal happiness index. So
everybody had different issues, different hungers,

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different hopes, different assets, these
set different aspirations. Yours is plugged in

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into the equation and we get your
happiness index. It's not just asking you

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how hopeful are you? In fact, the world happiness doesn't even appear in

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the two. Does this change throughout
our lifetime? For example, if you

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I'm fifty five now if you ask
me these questions and so forth, now

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my answer might be different than when
i'm you know, twenty. Yeah,

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it depends on your life. What
is going on around you and inside you.

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That's what determined if those things change. If they change, of course,

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your skore will also go to change. Your skoll is not going to

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change. If you find your remote
control, you lose your cocky. When

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something in life relevant a chorus happens, Yeah, a life changing event,

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yes, that will affect what a
person that happiness index. What about if

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I know I'm asking different snares and
things like that, and you'll probably come

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back to what you're saying, but
I'm going to ask anyway, what if

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I'm feeling like I've got that kind
of feeling like something's off or I need

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to change something or I need to
do something, but I don't know quite

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what it is, you know that
kind of feeling? Can this help sort

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through that? If I'm feeling less, you know, less hopeful and so

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forth? Will show it on that
if I've got that feeling going on,

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if I'm like, okay, I
need to now I've been married twenty five

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years, so but I'm going to
use this as an example of I said,

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Okay, I need to get divorced, or I need to move,

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or I need to do this or
that. Will those types of things show

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up in this as hunger? Definitely? Definitely because what I'm not getting divorced,

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don't worry everybody. Yeah, you
know, in this we don't even

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ask about marriage, that you married, how much do you make? How

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many children you have? We don't
even ask that. Really, okay,

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something the question that I ask as
something as applicable to everybody. This scale

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can be used to assess a millionaire
who lives in London or a fisherman who

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lives in a village in Kenya.
This same scale can be used. Now

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you've heard about miss rebel millionaires and
happy peasants. Okay, so money is

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not Money is important in happiness,
but it's just not the only thing,

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right, Yeah, No, I
love this. It's so where are we

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going to see you next? Or
we're going to see you in the political

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realm? Where are we going to
see you next? To get this implemented

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worldwide? Well, uh, I'm
not into into politics, but yeah,

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what I do now, I'm the
CEO of Happiness Project USA. We train

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and certify happiness coaches. Just like
you were saying a while ago. Somebody

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who wants a direction alive and it
doesn't know how things are going, you

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can go to a happiness coach.
Happiness coach will measure, will give you

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the questionnaire, and you will know
your personal happiness index, and so you

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know where you are and where you
want to go, and the happiness coach

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can walk with you to increase your
overall subjective well being. I love that.

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Now you have three granddaughters, right, I'm reading this right to you

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have two sons and then three granddaughters. Just do you ask kids things like

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this? Or do they get the
one question are you happy? Or do

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they get no questions at all?
These these hope This happiness formula is for

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adults. Okay, exactly, yeah, okay, yeah, there are ways,

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There are ways of measuring the happiness
of children. Children. Yeah,

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they are now ians. These just
they are just about now allens, did

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you say now? Now? Yeah? When you when you when you answer

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the questions, they have food and
comfort you answer the questions, and they

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have somebody they trust that would be
there in terms of emergency. So the

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five human hungers. If you satisfied
for the children, they are happy the

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five human hungers. But the five
human hungers being met is not enough for

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adults, because adults are always talking
about tomorrow, and that's how hope comes

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in. Yeah, we get anxious, don't we. You know, I

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think this would be such a cool
book or a second book for teenagers preteen

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like twelve to eighteen, because there
is such an alarm rate. I'm just

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gonna call I don't know what.
I don't know what the scientific term is

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for it or any but anxiety,
depression, suicide rates, unhappiness, and

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so forth. And this might be
just a lovely thing to have in a

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doctor's office. I have that.
I have many people who bought five.

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Yeah, just not just for them, go to give to a nephew and

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nieces. Yeah, seen eight year
old, especially those one just graduating from

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high school and getting into college,
to have the right mindset about important things

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in life and to do the right
thing. Yeah, it's a good I'm

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just thinking, just as a mother
of four sons too, this is a

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lovely parenting tool to sit down and
you know, maybe once a year you

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say, you know, how are
you doing? And you know, here's

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here's something especially for scientific brains.
I have for scientists, three scientists and

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one leadership guru. And they love
this kind of stuff where it makes sense

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and it's logical and it's quantifiable and
things like that. They love this stuff,

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and I think, I think this
is a fabulous conversation piece because as

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parents were always trying to are you
really happy? Are you okay? You

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know, those types of things,
and it just seems I don't know if

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that if that's your intended use or
anything like that, but I could see

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a use like that for it.
The the the reason why I wrote the

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book four reasons. Number one,
I wanted to share with everybody the very

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simple formula that I discovered by chance. I didn't set out looking for a

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way to measure happiness. I was
doing research on hope when this formula suffaced.

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So I want to share this formula, very simple form that allows us

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to measure happiness, which has been
very difficult. That's number one. Number

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two, I have a five minute
questionnaire A two that can differentiate flourishing individuals

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from a languishing individual and in between
those two extremes can determine who is happy,

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very happy, unhappy or very unhappy. So this is a tool for

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monitoring anybody, yourself or somebody else
to see how you are progressing in your

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well being unhappiness. So and I
also wrote it for happiness coaches to telling

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them the two to use and how
to help people who have different issues about

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hope, hunger, unhappiness. And
the fourth reason is for individuals. Individuals

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to tell you a basic routine that
you can use every day to find and

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sustain a flourishing life. It's all
there in the book. That's a great

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book. All right, Well,
thank you. I just want to thank

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you for being with us. It's
been wonderful to have you on best every

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year. You're gonna hold it up
to give your book. I don't know

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if you have it you or not. Yeah, there it is, Yeah,

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beautiful, Thank you so much.
Everybody. You can buy book.

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It's called the Happiness Formula, and
the and the tagline is a scientific,

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groundbreaking approach to happiness and personal fulfillment. And as I'm reading it, I

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want to make sure people don't know
that it doesn't read like a textbook,

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and it doesn't read like math or
anything like that. So don't be afraid

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of the word equation or anything like
that. It's it's it's very it's very

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well worded and very Amazon. I'm
post Noble. You can see the reviews.

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Yes, the reviews are very sand, aren't they. Yeah. I

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love it when our our Best Ever
You network has people on like your you

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know, such as yourself, and
we get behind the author and buy the

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book and do the reviews and things
like that. So we'll see what we

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can do for you. But it's
been absolutely wonderful getting to know you and

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uh and thank you for all of
your wisdom and for writing such a great

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book. I'm affording forward to reading
the rest of it. I just got

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the book, so I'm I'm excited
to dive in. And if we have

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questions, should we approach you on
your website? Do you on my website?

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You can get me on the Psychology
Today. I'm a contributor to Psychology

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Today. You can get me on
my website. You can get me on

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LinkedIn. Oh good, Yes,
and you're on Best Ever you know.

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I saw. I think we just
I can't remember, but I think we

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just put an article of yours in
our magazine, So I can't I can't

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totally say that for sure. But
I think I remember your name in the

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magazine and trying to pronounce it,
and I think we got it now.

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So wonderful to meet you. And
I hope you'll come back and we can

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do tinier clips of shows about happiness, hope and and other things that you

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want to talk about. Because it's
all right, everybody, Thank you so

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much for being here with us.
And again, here's the book. And

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Amazon's a great place, like he
was saying, Barnes and Noble Books,

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millions available wherever books are sold.
So thank you all for being with us,

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and and take care and have a
great day. Everybody. Thank you,

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bye bye,