WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:25.239 Comedy Central Podcast. No. Thank you very much, friends. I don 2 00:00:25.239 --> 00:00:29.760 ' t deserve any less. It' s a real pleasure, a great 3 00:00:29.839 --> 00:00:31.920 joy, isn' t it? I would dare even say why not what 4 00:00:32.240 --> 00:00:38.479 a luxury for each and every one of you that I am here. Also, 5 00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:43.520 among other things, because I want to leave something pointed out, after 6 00:00:43.799 --> 00:00:46.359 so many years in this house with you, I want to make something clear. 7 00:00:46.439 --> 00:00:50.880 I am not one of the few artists in this country who, in 8 00:00:50.880 --> 00:00:55.159 addition to being very attractive, have a way of saying it, a wide 9 00:00:55.159 --> 00:00:57.359 cultural background. I mean, I' m a person with a very high 10 00:00:57.359 --> 00:01:00.640 culture. Actually, I have college education. I' m a graduate of 11 00:01:00.640 --> 00:01:03.959 Hispanic philology. I got a degree in Hispanic philology in case I didn' 12 00:01:03.959 --> 00:01:07.439 t do well about the show having something safe. I mean, I know 13 00:01:07.480 --> 00:01:11.120 this is going wrong with me now, and with my philologist' s resume, 14 00:01:11.480 --> 00:01:12.079 I get the money. I mean, it' s one thing. 15 00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:18.640 What I want to give you curiously is that there are a lot of people 16 00:01:18.680 --> 00:01:23.799 working on television, of familiar faces that are also philologists. You didn' 17 00:01:23.799 --> 00:01:29.079 t know, for example, Jorge Javier Vázquez. Jorge Javier Vázquez is a 18 00:01:29.159 --> 00:01:42.599 Spanish philologist and faggot, falcon, very faggot. It' s funny to 19 00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:45.480 say the word faggot. It' s so funny to me, because it 20 00:01:45.480 --> 00:01:49.359 automatically divides the room into two. There are those who have laughed truth and 21 00:01:49.400 --> 00:01:52.000 then there are those who have bothered them, that is, the people who 22 00:01:52.000 --> 00:01:55.599 have offended. Because Miguel La Hago has used the word maricom which is a 23 00:01:55.640 --> 00:01:59.879 word that evokes the monster of Francoism. I guess right now the social network 24 00:02:00.120 --> 00:02:04.519 is smoking? Why are Assachis smoking? I can already imagine how my twitter 25 00:02:04.519 --> 00:02:07.239 should be, that is, it must be blown up that if Miguel something 26 00:02:07.280 --> 00:02:09.520 that if you are a homophobe, that yes, that if you are a 27 00:02:09.599 --> 00:02:13.120 son of the Great Whore, it has nothing to do with telling someone queer 28 00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:19.840 but people on Twitter gets hot. That wouldn' t have happened before. 29 00:02:20.199 --> 00:02:23.759 Before. I' m talking during Francoism why, because I couldn' t 30 00:02:23.840 --> 00:02:27.680 have said that, because before there was the censor figure. It' s 31 00:02:27.719 --> 00:02:31.520 worth it to the defender in a man who was going through the theaters saying 32 00:02:31.520 --> 00:02:34.520 he was going through the script and saying what to say and what not to 33 00:02:34.520 --> 00:02:38.400 say. He took this and crossed it out. This is not, this 34 00:02:38.400 --> 00:02:39.919 is not, this is immoral, this is shameful, this is intolerable, 35 00:02:40.439 --> 00:02:44.159 this cannot be done. Then I almost got to the best of it because 36 00:02:44.199 --> 00:02:46.520 the dinner was cold, it gave the woman a shit, but because they 37 00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:52.120 had a confused moral code, because I liked that there were censors I wish. 38 00:02:52.240 --> 00:02:55.159 They would really come back, uh, I wish, because at least 39 00:02:55.520 --> 00:03:00.919 I would have located it, I mean, there would be a censor there 40 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:07.080 and I would try to dodge it somehow, but there would be one me 41 00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:10.360 against what I can' t, it' s against what Spain has become, 42 00:03:12.439 --> 00:03:13.919 which is a country of fifty million censors, fifty million each of us. 43 00:03:14.319 --> 00:03:19.240 That is, at least, exhausting, always saying what can be said, 44 00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:21.199 what can be said, what can be said in a newspaper, what 45 00:03:21.199 --> 00:03:24.080 can be said on a television. That' s tiring and you want to 46 00:03:24.319 --> 00:03:30.800 tell me I buy any joke that starts with that faggot in Triana neighborhood. 47 00:03:30.080 --> 00:03:37.680 I buy it good and as the joke is, there' s a faggot, 48 00:03:38.120 --> 00:03:42.759 a stutterer and a lame fuck stop the car, I mean, tell 49 00:03:42.759 --> 00:03:49.000 me. Please, I like it. I like it. It makes me 50 00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:53.360 feel good. In fact, Spanish means what it does to feel modern. 51 00:03:53.759 --> 00:03:59.680 He grabs to according to what things, for example, to read fifty shades 52 00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:02.520 of Grey, It is not true to feel modern, fifty shadows and you 53 00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:10.560 believe all you know this trilogy, which goes basically to fuck, that is, 54 00:04:10.560 --> 00:04:12.039 to fuck you. I tell, for example, the argument of the 55 00:04:12.080 --> 00:04:15.759 first novel. In it appears our protagonist, Anastasia Steel, a young girl 56 00:04:15.759 --> 00:04:18.519 of twenty- three, twenty- four years. What do you know in 57 00:04:18.560 --> 00:04:27.519 an interview and by chance our protagonist, Christian Grey, multimillionaire twenty- eight 58 00:04:27.519 --> 00:04:30.279 billionaire years. I' m talking about money, but more, that' 59 00:04:30.800 --> 00:04:32.079 s to bore you, it' s an exaggerated thing. He pilots his 60 00:04:32.120 --> 00:04:38.680 own helicopter and is also described as the most beautiful, handsome and attractive man 61 00:04:38.720 --> 00:04:44.319 in the history of mankind. Don' t ask me why she' s 62 00:04:44.399 --> 00:04:49.240 attracted to him and she starts a clear relationship that he sets the ground. 63 00:04:49.279 --> 00:04:53.639 He doesn' t call her a girl. If you want to be with 64 00:04:53.720 --> 00:04:57.319 me, I want to explain that I' m into s. M. 65 00:04:58.279 --> 00:05:03.519 Bondash, domination, submission and masochism. Come on, he likes to give 66 00:05:03.639 --> 00:05:06.759 it, but shit like pianos, that' s ping pam ping. He 67 00:05:06.839 --> 00:05:11.079 has in his house a quarter of the pain and towards the end of the 68 00:05:11.079 --> 00:05:15.000 novel, she wants to experiment, he begins to develop according to what behaviors 69 00:05:15.040 --> 00:05:16.560 with him, but one day he already wants a little more he takes off 70 00:05:16.680 --> 00:05:19.920 his belt, hits him a marimba I swear to you eh, that is 71 00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:24.240 the girl seemed. Ben Ur started pite Pa Pi Path. It is known 72 00:05:24.360 --> 00:05:31.439 that he felt bad and left it and this is how the first novel is 73 00:05:31.439 --> 00:05:39.240 summed up. I have just saved you twenty- six euros and wasted time 74 00:05:39.680 --> 00:05:47.000 with real intellectual terrorism. What' s the bet seller? It is the 75 00:05:47.120 --> 00:05:51.319 best- selling book in Spain for the last fifteen years. It' s 76 00:05:51.720 --> 00:05:55.160 awesome, I mean, all the women have read it, they' re 77 00:05:55.160 --> 00:05:57.000 reading it. It' s a pass. I, as an international artist, 78 00:05:57.519 --> 00:06:01.920 travel a lot and yes always in all airports there is always an aunt 79 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:04.920 with the little book of Marras next to me in the waiting room. He 80 00:06:04.959 --> 00:06:08.680 ' s there reading the book and I get nervous. You know why I 81 00:06:08.759 --> 00:06:14.360 feel like saying" Holy Cochina" to her, but I' m telling 82 00:06:14.399 --> 00:06:15.839 her anyway, she' s offended because I' m a woman like that. 83 00:06:15.079 --> 00:06:17.920 Oh, how modern. I' m just reading through grey shadows and 84 00:06:17.959 --> 00:06:20.279 then you get offended when I give you a dick in the face. Let 85 00:06:20.319 --> 00:06:30.399 ' s get this straight. It' s not normal. It' s 86 00:06:30.519 --> 00:06:32.600 that double standard that bothers me so much. Imagine me coming out on TV 87 00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:38.480 in an interview and telling me without a doubt what I like best in bed 88 00:06:38.519 --> 00:06:46.079 is hitting a woman. I' m not working again. No. No, 89 00:06:46.120 --> 00:06:48.439 my career is over, it' s over, it' s over, 90 00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:50.959 but that book can tell you what difference it makes look like. I 91 00:06:50.959 --> 00:06:54.759 ' m gonna tell a story. Ninety- one year, end of year 92 00:06:56.040 --> 00:07:00.639 Tuesday and thirteen Tuesdays and thirteen, unforgettable duo that made us enjoy Christmas They 93 00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:04.480 made a very famous sketch that everyone will remember that it was that of my 94 00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:09.839 husband beats me. He went out to Millan characterized as a woman with a 95 00:07:09.879 --> 00:07:12.319 black eye and said that I cried ay. My husband beats me, he 96 00:07:12.439 --> 00:07:15.759 hits me, he beats me like that half an hour, my husband beats 97 00:07:15.839 --> 00:07:18.920 me, he hits me. And the next sketch passed an advance. The 98 00:07:18.959 --> 00:07:25.680 show was burying the husband who had died and she cried. Oh, he 99 00:07:25.759 --> 00:07:28.040 ' s gonna hit me now, so he doesn' t hit me anymore. 100 00:07:28.560 --> 00:07:31.160 The whole of Spain got wild, didn' t applaud the skeech. 101 00:07:31.279 --> 00:07:38.839 Well, that was wonderful. Today u See the writer who writes it already 102 00:07:38.879 --> 00:07:42.279 decides not to record it. Let' s say it' s decided to 103 00:07:42.279 --> 00:07:45.519 record it. It' s recorded, it' s decided not to mount 104 00:07:45.519 --> 00:07:48.120 it, let' s put it together, decide not to broadcast it, 105 00:07:48.120 --> 00:07:50.160 let' s say it' s broadcast. The next day they close the 106 00:07:51.680 --> 00:07:57.240 channel is over and twenty- five years ago and you' re telling me 107 00:07:57.240 --> 00:07:58.959 we' re more advanced today. That' s not a lie, least 108 00:07:59.040 --> 00:08:01.839 of all in the smoke humor seen today. If you want to make a 109 00:08:01.920 --> 00:08:05.199 joke a little bit, you know what I say by squeezing a little bit, 110 00:08:05.319 --> 00:08:07.399 you have to do it at home, because at home it' s 111 00:08:07.480 --> 00:08:11.439 the only place you feel safe, unless you' re walkers. This is 112 00:08:11.959 --> 00:08:16.199 because camels have been robbed of their house. You know, he' s 113 00:08:16.199 --> 00:08:18.680 been mugged. He' s been assaulted by three Romans. Well, you 114 00:08:18.720 --> 00:08:20.480 don' t know if they were Romans, but I put my hand on 115 00:08:20.480 --> 00:08:26.240 the fire. The point is, they broke into his house at dawn. 116 00:08:26.639 --> 00:08:31.080 They tied him up and gagged him. They tied him up so he wouldn 117 00:08:31.159 --> 00:08:37.360 ' t escape and gagged him so he wouldn' t sing. The news 118 00:08:43.559 --> 00:08:48.279 case. What struck me powerfully is that they didn' t hit anything. 119 00:08:50.120 --> 00:08:54.600 They didn' t attack him, they didn' t touch his hair, 120 00:08:54.600 --> 00:08:58.919 nothing. That' s very nice. I don' t think there' 121 00:09:00.080 --> 00:09:07.519 s a bigger man who' s born to an artist than to jump into 122 00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:11.320 his house and not hit him I hope that one day it happens to me, 123 00:09:11.600 --> 00:09:15.759 look at what I' m saying, because I guess when they were 124 00:09:15.799 --> 00:09:20.159 preparing the assault, because someone warmed his mouth, we went in there and 125 00:09:20.159 --> 00:09:20.559 we grabbed him pein pam pan and said another no for real. How we 126 00:09:20.639 --> 00:09:24.399 ' re gonna hit Camilo is this. How we' re going to beat 127 00:09:26.120 --> 00:09:30.639 the man who made us vibrate with Jesus Christ Superstar. How we' re 128 00:09:30.679 --> 00:09:33.200 gonna beat the man who made us dance with living like this is dying of 129 00:09:33.200 --> 00:09:37.200 love. He also made mollamazo. I don' t argue with you, 130 00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:41.600 but he' s got something on me. Melina forgive me everything for nothing 131 00:09:41.639 --> 00:09:50.519 and they didn' t hit her how nice? Because with José Luis Moreno 132 00:09:50.559 --> 00:10:05.279 there was no doubt. Hey I mean, Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha People get hot. Also, 133 00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:09.679 and today where, when you' re already entangled by something, you 134 00:10:09.840 --> 00:10:11.559 get angry, so I could say no, no, no, what you 135 00:10:11.559 --> 00:10:16.600 ' re doing today, protest on Twitter, you know on Facebook, put 136 00:10:16.639 --> 00:10:20.039 on your wall things clear and denounce this whole situation and what you' ve 137 00:10:20.120 --> 00:10:24.120 said, what you' ve said, because of course, Tuesday and 13 138 00:10:24.120 --> 00:10:26.679 today I couldn' t work. But Jorge Javier Vázquez, who well, 139 00:10:26.879 --> 00:10:31.120 Jorge Javier Vázquez can be every afternoon with his cut of suckers on television for 140 00:10:31.159 --> 00:10:35.559 four hours, tearing apart, vilifying, insulting, and that can be done. 141 00:10:37.559 --> 00:10:39.759 It' s funny. And the people he does go out on the 142 00:10:39.799 --> 00:10:45.519 street and he shows that people like him are going at best people get hot 143 00:10:45.519 --> 00:10:48.879 Twitter. I remember a case. A while ago. You know when she 144 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:52.159 died, Sister Mary, Sister Mary, the nun steals children, which is 145 00:10:52.159 --> 00:10:56.320 how posterity has passed. Sister Maria, the baby nun. The lady died 146 00:10:56.360 --> 00:11:01.720 at eighty- seven years of age and at that time social networks were combustible. 147 00:11:01.320 --> 00:11:05.759 I open Twitter and read the tweet of a 17- year- old 148 00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:11.000 boy. He said I read attention. He had a hundred and twenty characters 149 00:11:11.000 --> 00:11:20.799 left. He' s got that little. He paid attention, put Fallece, 150 00:11:20.159 --> 00:11:26.879 Sister Mary. That' s what happens to him as a whore, 151 00:11:26.039 --> 00:11:31.080 hahahahaha, what I hear, but seriously, for a whore you want to 152 00:11:31.080 --> 00:11:31.360 come here like eighty- seven years. The ladies are dead for whore. 153 00:11:31.480 --> 00:11:37.159 You' re telling me seriously You want there really is a direct relationship between 154 00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:41.360 being a whore and dying. The kid was at home I got the news 155 00:11:41.440 --> 00:11:43.559 out of the way. That' s what happens to her as a whore 156 00:11:43.639 --> 00:11:46.960 to send, and she doesn' t care about everything. The boy was 157 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:50.559 already coming Calentito who, in a way, I can understand. I can 158 00:11:50.600 --> 00:12:00.279 understand that you are robbed of your son and you are not upset a priori, 159 00:12:00.360 --> 00:12:07.759 but I put myself on the other side, year nine hundred and fifty 160 00:12:07.080 --> 00:12:11.240 - nine, Madrid, a marriage of forty- two. Forty- three 161 00:12:11.279 --> 00:12:16.000 years, they' ve been married 15 years and have no children. She 162 00:12:16.080 --> 00:12:22.200 cries every night until she falls asleep, holding her withered belly because she fails 163 00:12:22.240 --> 00:12:24.879 to make her dream come true as a child, which was to be a 164 00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:30.279 mother. He' s broken, he' s even started drinking because he 165 00:12:30.279 --> 00:12:33.919 can' t make the woman of his life happy and that' s killing 166 00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:39.039 him inside one day. A friend tells him he knows he' s been 167 00:12:39.120 --> 00:12:43.320 told that he knows about a nun who for a hundred thousand pesetas gives you 168 00:12:43.840 --> 00:12:50.559 a child and this man mortgages himself, seeks the money from where he doesn 169 00:12:50.600 --> 00:12:52.440 ' t have it. When with a hundred thousand pesetas of the fifty- 170 00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:58.639 nine year you bought three floors in the center of Madrid, he gets that 171 00:12:58.799 --> 00:13:03.919 money and like for a baby to make his wife happy. That' s 172 00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:07.120 the nicest thing I' ve ever seen in my life. Fuck. That 173 00:13:07.159 --> 00:13:11.559 ' s beautiful and also, responsibility, because you have a biological child, 174 00:13:13.080 --> 00:13:16.360 you drop it in the park and give it to you. You fall off 175 00:13:16.399 --> 00:13:20.840 a slide, a child who cost you 100, 000 pesetas doesn' t 176 00:13:20.919 --> 00:13:22.960 forgive him. That' s a lifeless one. You' re in the 177 00:13:22.039 --> 00:13:24.759 park with a hell of a tension. Good shit and since I' m 178 00:13:24.840 --> 00:13:28.519 over two years old, consumption doesn' t cover you. See who you 179 00:13:28.559 --> 00:13:31.720 claim when you' re 15. Dad tells you I' m gothic. 180 00:13:31.840 --> 00:13:35.960 Go get the nun' s accounts Forget about it You' re sold. 181 00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:41.679 I understand that some people leave a little bit You know what happens to me, 182 00:13:41.879 --> 00:13:46.919 I just understand parenthood as something animal. I' m a father, 183 00:13:46.200 --> 00:13:50.879 I have two children and I understand it this way. In fact, last 184 00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:54.840 week I was seeing Susana griso because I used to see Ana Rosa, but 185 00:13:56.000 --> 00:14:01.360 Ana Rosa gets her locked up. Then I see Susana. I was seeing 186 00:14:01.399 --> 00:14:05.360 Susana when I see a middle- aged marriage with a child about twelve years 187 00:14:05.440 --> 00:14:11.159 old. Fat ugly glasses good anyway. The point is they were going to 188 00:14:11.159 --> 00:14:13.279 talk about bullying I see, they' re going to talk about bullying and 189 00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:16.559 me at home bullying, bullying, a bullying case and me? Bullying? 190 00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:18.519 Bullying, bullying, so, bullying, bullying me? They' re gonna 191 00:14:18.559 --> 00:14:22.879 talk about bullying, bullyingbullyin, bullying, so, bullying, bullying and me, 192 00:14:22.120 --> 00:14:24.360 what' s bullying gonna be? Bullying? They' re going to 193 00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:26.480 talk about bullying, about what? Bullyin, bullyin, bullyn bullyng, bullying, 194 00:14:26.919 --> 00:14:31.919 bullying and me, what' s bullying? I' m looking for 195 00:14:31.320 --> 00:14:33.639 him on the Internet bullying what it was like all my life beating up the 196 00:14:33.639 --> 00:14:37.159 fool in the class. Now they call him bullying. The point is that 197 00:14:37.279 --> 00:14:43.720 the mother comes out and says good morning, Susana, thank you for inviting 198 00:14:43.799 --> 00:14:48.279 us to your show. We' re already desperate, desperate because my son 199 00:14:48.360 --> 00:14:52.600 gets beat up in high school like a piano laughs at Tube, Christian Gray, 200 00:14:54.120 --> 00:14:56.840 that is, the child is shocked and we can' t do it 201 00:14:56.840 --> 00:15:03.759 anymore. We can no longer use it because attention I open quotes says we 202 00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:09.879 have already put seventeen complaints in the school, fourteen complaints in the Community of 203 00:15:09.919 --> 00:15:13.320 Madrid and twelve complaints to the Ombudsman of the meno and the child they continue 204 00:15:13.360 --> 00:15:16.759 to beat good that they have hit him this morning that then we will not 205 00:15:16.759 --> 00:15:16.759 take out of the recess. I' ve already brought a black eye. 206 00:15:16.840 --> 00:15:20.519 Don' t you see the makeup one to cover it up and we can 207 00:15:20.519 --> 00:15:24.720 ' t do it anymore. And it fits me like that. I took 208 00:15:24.759 --> 00:15:28.600 a role and a pen. I started accounting. I say let' s 209 00:15:28.600 --> 00:15:31.240 see. Let' s see first day your son comes home twelve years old 210 00:15:31.279 --> 00:15:35.399 with a black eye. You say. These are kid stuff. On the 211 00:15:35.480 --> 00:15:39.320 second day we already have to if you' re going to talk to the 212 00:15:39.480 --> 00:15:41.759 teacher, on the third day with the head of studies, on the fourth 213 00:15:41.840 --> 00:15:46.039 day with the director, on the fifth day threats to report and on the 214 00:15:46.039 --> 00:15:48.200 sixth you file a complaint. This means that your son has been beaten seventeen 215 00:15:48.480 --> 00:15:52.519 plus six twenty- three times, but that' s the 24th beating. 216 00:15:52.799 --> 00:15:54.919 I' m sick of them not listening to you at school. Where you 217 00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:58.960 go to the Community of Madrid, where you put a total of fourteen denunciations, 218 00:15:58.039 --> 00:16:02.919 plus thirty, but that is to beat thirty- nine. Seeing that 219 00:16:02.919 --> 00:16:04.559 the Community of Madrid also does not put a brake on the matter, you 220 00:16:04.600 --> 00:16:08.799 go to the Ombudsman of the Minor where you make twelve more complaints than I 221 00:16:08.799 --> 00:16:11.600 do. I think the official, when I' m going to get you 222 00:16:11.639 --> 00:16:12.759 in, takes out the pink paper Hostia, the usual thing that they' 223 00:16:14.080 --> 00:16:18.919 ve hit the kid, throwing a total of fifty- one beatings, but 224 00:16:18.960 --> 00:16:22.000 it' s that beating fifty- two. The best thing you can think 225 00:16:22.039 --> 00:16:23.759 of is going to TV. Of course, that' s a great idea. 226 00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:26.440 Go on TV, make the kid famous, let everyone know about him. 227 00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:30.600 If when I cross it and say look, today they didn' t 228 00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:41.759 hit it. It' s not normal. Let' s see. It 229 00:16:41.879 --> 00:16:47.120 ' s not normal for you to let your 12- year- old come 230 00:16:47.200 --> 00:16:51.639 in that you' ve fucked up fifty- three times. It' s 231 00:16:52.480 --> 00:16:57.559 not normal that I don' t even get half a look. This is 232 00:16:57.600 --> 00:17:02.639 very simple. I repeat, I have two children, yes, twelve years 233 00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:07.279 old. Any one of my kids gets home. It' s very simple. 234 00:17:08.079 --> 00:17:11.680 I' m going to school the next day I' m telling you, 235 00:17:12.279 --> 00:17:15.119 I want to know who hit you. I put them in the trunk 236 00:17:15.160 --> 00:17:18.519 of my car. I' ll take them off the ground. I hit 237 00:17:18.559 --> 00:17:22.000 shit whose only limit is blood. Once I finish, I put a plastic 238 00:17:22.039 --> 00:17:26.839 in the trunk, put them back in the emergency room, because I' 239 00:17:26.920 --> 00:17:30.920 m not a hanger where I leave them as a photocopy of my deni and 240 00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:34.680 a note for their parents who say come home that I' m waiting for 241 00:17:34.759 --> 00:17:37.200 you children of the Great Whore. And when the father sees it, I 242 00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:40.599 blow it, too, and it' s bigger than you. I' 243 00:17:40.680 --> 00:17:45.000 ll get him in the back, but I' m gonna blow him up, 244 00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:49.039 ' cause no one touches my kids. Gentlemen, you have to go 245 00:17:49.079 --> 00:17:53.319 back to the fifties when you could hit a child, you have to go 246 00:17:53.319 --> 00:18:00.000 back, you have to beat the kids to see the others, not yours. 247 00:18:08.400 --> 00:18:11.880 And we' re always the same, always the same with the same 248 00:18:11.880 --> 00:18:17.000 bullshit. That shouldn' t be done. That shouldn' t be said. 249 00:18:17.759 --> 00:18:22.599 I remember when the cruise went down the Concordia coast you remember the coast 250 00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:27.519 concordia that Italian cruise that I don' t know how it did, but 251 00:18:29.000 --> 00:18:30.839 I find it harder to dump it than to sink it. I mean, 252 00:18:30.920 --> 00:18:33.640 you give me a pick and a shovel and I' ll sink your boat. 253 00:18:34.319 --> 00:18:37.799 You' re asking me to dump him here I don' t even 254 00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:40.839 know where to start, I mean, what I wanted to get into port 255 00:18:40.839 --> 00:18:42.720 by touching my knee. I don' t understand. The fact is that 256 00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:52.640 he turns to the boat, turns to the boat and then produces the most 257 00:18:52.359 --> 00:18:56.480 famous anecdote that is that it has to do with the captain Tino esque. 258 00:18:56.359 --> 00:19:04.039 The captain is that Tino declared attention. I will not add or take away 259 00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:11.559 any words from the captain' s official statement to the maritime authorities. The 260 00:19:11.599 --> 00:19:19.319 captain is Kettino declared that I stumbled on board the first boat, save lives 261 00:19:19.440 --> 00:19:26.359 that was headed for port and once on land, I thought better handling from 262 00:19:26.440 --> 00:19:30.240 this location the rescue work. I say good and if I bring you a 263 00:19:30.440 --> 00:19:33.640 gintonic, it' s already a crazy thing. I was bringing in just 264 00:19:33.720 --> 00:19:37.319 like we' re going down slowly. Please, automatically, not to applaud 265 00:19:37.400 --> 00:19:45.240 you with a certain criterion. Increase automatically. The international community points to Captain 266 00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:52.799 Esquetino as a coward and a miserable, when I believe that this man, 267 00:19:52.359 --> 00:19:56.000 his only sin is to be a human being. I mean, he did 268 00:19:56.039 --> 00:20:00.880 what anyone else would do to save himself, because the nuance is that the 269 00:20:00.920 --> 00:20:06.039 captain is in his house today and there are twenty- three at the bottom 270 00:20:06.119 --> 00:20:10.200 of the sea. Let' s not forget that. Let' s not 271 00:20:10.200 --> 00:20:14.599 forget that. You remember when they were there in the reporters good afternoon. 272 00:20:14.680 --> 00:20:18.519 We' re here with the survivors of the Costa Concordia. Let' s 273 00:20:18.519 --> 00:20:22.480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 274 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:22.480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 275 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:22.480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 276 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:22.480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 277 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:22.480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 278 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:22.480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 279 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:22.480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 280 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:22.480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 281 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:22.480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 282 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:22.480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 283 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:22.480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 284 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:26.759 see, let' s see. Survivor is a category at least elevated by 285 00:20:26.839 --> 00:20:30.079 that rule of three. I am a flu survivor who has ravaged humanity throughout 286 00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:36.640 history. It is a waste of billions of innocent lives, for we are 287 00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:40.440 survivors because we have made a partnership and we are going to meet once a 288 00:20:40.440 --> 00:20:42.039 year. So fuck knowing what restaurant you give me is pretty, because you 289 00:20:42.200 --> 00:20:48.559 are good come ah, Super well, we are here with the survivors of 290 00:20:48.920 --> 00:20:52.440 the Costa Concordia, this, Señora, marriage of Valencia. Let' s 291 00:20:52.440 --> 00:21:00.200 talk, see how they feel, how they meet, and Mrs A takes 292 00:21:00.359 --> 00:21:06.240 mom to drink. We' re with the psychological help I say, well, 293 00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:19.559 you already brought psychological help from before. This fool goes because you can 294 00:21:19.640 --> 00:21:26.640 believe he' s the ship' s crew, bartenders, personal boat drivers 295 00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:34.240 in general, banging on the passengers to get out. First you can believe 296 00:21:34.319 --> 00:21:41.279 it. I, yes, you can' t be the people since you 297 00:21:41.359 --> 00:21:45.880 saw Titanic It' s believed that while the ship is sinking, the other 298 00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:49.319 plays the violin, so save yourself who can and the lady doesn' t. 299 00:21:51.079 --> 00:21:56.200 First, first the passengers and then the crew. Of course, the 300 00:21:56.279 --> 00:22:02.599 typical Indian waiter, who embarked eleven months a year for three hundred dollars a 301 00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:07.559 month, has to let pass first to a marriage in Valencia that has spent 302 00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:11.200 twelve zero euros on a week' s vacation to see if they stick a 303 00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:22.039 fuck and recover the magic walks and that they give them asses and again we 304 00:22:22.079 --> 00:22:27.039 tend to put up with that friend touches balls that we all have the typical 305 00:22:27.039 --> 00:22:33.119 ready. So with a lot of smart feces, you know what a smart 306 00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:37.200 guy is. A smart one is the one who tells you an absolute obviousness, 307 00:22:37.400 --> 00:22:41.640 but he tells you with a tone, an authorization, a category that 308 00:22:41.640 --> 00:22:44.839 seems to be discovering America, the bastard. We all have a brother- 309 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:45.920 in- law who' s smart, a father- in- law who 310 00:22:45.920 --> 00:22:49.680 ' s a liko. They' re usually in your political family. There 311 00:22:49.799 --> 00:22:56.559 you go. It comes from the Costa Concordia and tells you about If I 312 00:22:56.599 --> 00:23:03.119 saw myself in a similar situation like that of the Costa Concordia, my first 313 00:23:03.160 --> 00:23:11.000 reaction, the natural one, would be to help others to a risk of 314 00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:18.200 my own integrity, because I do not. Not me. I fly 200 315 00:23:18.480 --> 00:23:23.920 times a year and 200 times without exception. I sit at the emergency door 316 00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:29.960 and the 200 times without exception comes there to the assistant with that roll of 317 00:23:29.960 --> 00:23:33.079 Hello. Good afternoon, because everyone is spoken to normally except the one at 318 00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:34.519 the emergency door who talks to him like he' s an asshole. Not 319 00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:38.359 me. I' ve been told hello you' re coming with your parents. 320 00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:44.039 Well, the point is, it adds good afternoon. You' re 321 00:23:44.079 --> 00:23:47.599 at the emergency door. In case of an accident. Here are the instructions 322 00:23:47.640 --> 00:23:51.519 on how to open it and remember to leave the cabin and help the rest 323 00:23:51.559 --> 00:23:59.039 of the passage leave the ship. Two hundred times a year I look that 324 00:23:59.400 --> 00:24:03.200 professional in the eye and in all the cold blood. I' m telling 325 00:24:03.240 --> 00:24:11.960 you, of course, in case of an accident. In case of an 326 00:24:11.960 --> 00:24:17.559 accident, I will. When inside I' m thinking and shit like this 327 00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:21.440 falls off. I' ll go out first and pick you up who' 328 00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:22.960 s going out I' ll never close the door again. Look what I 329 00:24:22.039 --> 00:24:27.640 ' m saying to you, you have, well, I' m saying 330 00:24:27.640 --> 00:24:36.240 it publicly. If I' m on the Concordia coast, okay I' 331 00:24:36.359 --> 00:24:41.279 m going on the first boat, on the first boat that goes to port, 332 00:24:41.519 --> 00:24:45.359 okay I' m going on Captain Bots'. I kill people. 333 00:24:47.079 --> 00:24:48.480 Oh, but when I say I kill people, I say I kill literal 334 00:24:48.480 --> 00:24:51.720 people. I mean, I' m going to the kitchen. I pick 335 00:24:51.720 --> 00:24:55.839 up a knife, I pull out hearts, fourth laugh at the last scene 336 00:24:55.880 --> 00:25:00.519 of any Tarantino movie. He rides a fucking pickle. I kill people, 337 00:25:00.920 --> 00:25:03.640 but I get out first. My wife will see what I do. Everything 338 00:25:03.640 --> 00:25:10.359 has to be said because I don' t want to, I don' 339 00:25:10.359 --> 00:25:15.279 t want to die. Call me your eccentric and above all. I don 340 00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:21.039 ' t want to live in a country where there are forty or fifty million 341 00:25:21.039 --> 00:25:26.039 censors. I' m also not interested in one where today Tuesday and thirteen, 342 00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:29.359 because they couldn' t work, in which the humorists are being permanently 343 00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:33.880 cut off. And above all, I refuse, as a professional and as 344 00:25:33.880 --> 00:25:38.160 a person, to be part of a system in which people like Javier Vázquez 345 00:25:38.519 --> 00:25:44.960 25 hours a week ago live and people as a good source are at home. 346 00:25:45.640 --> 00:26:07.359 I' ll pass. Thank you.