1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:25,239 Comedy Central Podcast. No. Thank you very much, friends. I don 2 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:29,760 ' t deserve any less. It' s a real pleasure, a great 3 00:00:29,839 --> 00:00:31,920 joy, isn' t it? I would dare even say why not what 4 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:38,479 a luxury for each and every one of you that I am here. Also, 5 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:43,520 among other things, because I want to leave something pointed out, after 6 00:00:43,799 --> 00:00:46,359 so many years in this house with you, I want to make something clear. 7 00:00:46,439 --> 00:00:50,880 I am not one of the few artists in this country who, in 8 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:55,159 addition to being very attractive, have a way of saying it, a wide 9 00:00:55,159 --> 00:00:57,359 cultural background. I mean, I' m a person with a very high 10 00:00:57,359 --> 00:01:00,640 culture. Actually, I have college education. I' m a graduate of 11 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,959 Hispanic philology. I got a degree in Hispanic philology in case I didn' 12 00:01:03,959 --> 00:01:07,439 t do well about the show having something safe. I mean, I know 13 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:11,120 this is going wrong with me now, and with my philologist' s resume, 14 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:12,079 I get the money. I mean, it' s one thing. 15 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:18,640 What I want to give you curiously is that there are a lot of people 16 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:23,799 working on television, of familiar faces that are also philologists. You didn' 17 00:01:23,799 --> 00:01:29,079 t know, for example, Jorge Javier Vázquez. Jorge Javier Vázquez is a 18 00:01:29,159 --> 00:01:42,599 Spanish philologist and faggot, falcon, very faggot. It' s funny to 19 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,480 say the word faggot. It' s so funny to me, because it 20 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:49,359 automatically divides the room into two. There are those who have laughed truth and 21 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,000 then there are those who have bothered them, that is, the people who 22 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,599 have offended. Because Miguel La Hago has used the word maricom which is a 23 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:59,879 word that evokes the monster of Francoism. I guess right now the social network 24 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:04,519 is smoking? Why are Assachis smoking? I can already imagine how my twitter 25 00:02:04,519 --> 00:02:07,239 should be, that is, it must be blown up that if Miguel something 26 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,520 that if you are a homophobe, that yes, that if you are a 27 00:02:09,599 --> 00:02:13,120 son of the Great Whore, it has nothing to do with telling someone queer 28 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:19,840 but people on Twitter gets hot. That wouldn' t have happened before. 29 00:02:20,199 --> 00:02:23,759 Before. I' m talking during Francoism why, because I couldn' t 30 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,680 have said that, because before there was the censor figure. It' s 31 00:02:27,719 --> 00:02:31,520 worth it to the defender in a man who was going through the theaters saying 32 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,520 he was going through the script and saying what to say and what not to 33 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:38,400 say. He took this and crossed it out. This is not, this 34 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,919 is not, this is immoral, this is shameful, this is intolerable, 35 00:02:40,439 --> 00:02:44,159 this cannot be done. Then I almost got to the best of it because 36 00:02:44,199 --> 00:02:46,520 the dinner was cold, it gave the woman a shit, but because they 37 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:52,120 had a confused moral code, because I liked that there were censors I wish. 38 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:55,159 They would really come back, uh, I wish, because at least 39 00:02:55,520 --> 00:03:00,919 I would have located it, I mean, there would be a censor there 40 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:07,080 and I would try to dodge it somehow, but there would be one me 41 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,360 against what I can' t, it' s against what Spain has become, 42 00:03:12,439 --> 00:03:13,919 which is a country of fifty million censors, fifty million each of us. 43 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:19,240 That is, at least, exhausting, always saying what can be said, 44 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,199 what can be said, what can be said in a newspaper, what 45 00:03:21,199 --> 00:03:24,080 can be said on a television. That' s tiring and you want to 46 00:03:24,319 --> 00:03:30,800 tell me I buy any joke that starts with that faggot in Triana neighborhood. 47 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:37,680 I buy it good and as the joke is, there' s a faggot, 48 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:42,759 a stutterer and a lame fuck stop the car, I mean, tell 49 00:03:42,759 --> 00:03:49,000 me. Please, I like it. I like it. It makes me 50 00:03:49,039 --> 00:03:53,360 feel good. In fact, Spanish means what it does to feel modern. 51 00:03:53,759 --> 00:03:59,680 He grabs to according to what things, for example, to read fifty shades 52 00:03:59,759 --> 00:04:02,520 of Grey, It is not true to feel modern, fifty shadows and you 53 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:10,560 believe all you know this trilogy, which goes basically to fuck, that is, 54 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,039 to fuck you. I tell, for example, the argument of the 55 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,759 first novel. In it appears our protagonist, Anastasia Steel, a young girl 56 00:04:15,759 --> 00:04:18,519 of twenty- three, twenty- four years. What do you know in 57 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:27,519 an interview and by chance our protagonist, Christian Grey, multimillionaire twenty- eight 58 00:04:27,519 --> 00:04:30,279 billionaire years. I' m talking about money, but more, that' 59 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,079 s to bore you, it' s an exaggerated thing. He pilots his 60 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:38,680 own helicopter and is also described as the most beautiful, handsome and attractive man 61 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:44,319 in the history of mankind. Don' t ask me why she' s 62 00:04:44,399 --> 00:04:49,240 attracted to him and she starts a clear relationship that he sets the ground. 63 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:53,639 He doesn' t call her a girl. If you want to be with 64 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:57,319 me, I want to explain that I' m into s. M. 65 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:03,519 Bondash, domination, submission and masochism. Come on, he likes to give 66 00:05:03,639 --> 00:05:06,759 it, but shit like pianos, that' s ping pam ping. He 67 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:11,079 has in his house a quarter of the pain and towards the end of the 68 00:05:11,079 --> 00:05:15,000 novel, she wants to experiment, he begins to develop according to what behaviors 69 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,560 with him, but one day he already wants a little more he takes off 70 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,920 his belt, hits him a marimba I swear to you eh, that is 71 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:24,240 the girl seemed. Ben Ur started pite Pa Pi Path. It is known 72 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:31,439 that he felt bad and left it and this is how the first novel is 73 00:05:31,439 --> 00:05:39,240 summed up. I have just saved you twenty- six euros and wasted time 74 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:47,000 with real intellectual terrorism. What' s the bet seller? It is the 75 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:51,319 best- selling book in Spain for the last fifteen years. It' s 76 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:55,160 awesome, I mean, all the women have read it, they' re 77 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,000 reading it. It' s a pass. I, as an international artist, 78 00:05:57,519 --> 00:06:01,920 travel a lot and yes always in all airports there is always an aunt 79 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,920 with the little book of Marras next to me in the waiting room. He 80 00:06:04,959 --> 00:06:08,680 ' s there reading the book and I get nervous. You know why I 81 00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:14,360 feel like saying" Holy Cochina" to her, but I' m telling 82 00:06:14,399 --> 00:06:15,839 her anyway, she' s offended because I' m a woman like that. 83 00:06:15,079 --> 00:06:17,920 Oh, how modern. I' m just reading through grey shadows and 84 00:06:17,959 --> 00:06:20,279 then you get offended when I give you a dick in the face. Let 85 00:06:20,319 --> 00:06:30,399 ' s get this straight. It' s not normal. It' s 86 00:06:30,519 --> 00:06:32,600 that double standard that bothers me so much. Imagine me coming out on TV 87 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:38,480 in an interview and telling me without a doubt what I like best in bed 88 00:06:38,519 --> 00:06:46,079 is hitting a woman. I' m not working again. No. No, 89 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,439 my career is over, it' s over, it' s over, 90 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,959 but that book can tell you what difference it makes look like. I 91 00:06:50,959 --> 00:06:54,759 ' m gonna tell a story. Ninety- one year, end of year 92 00:06:56,040 --> 00:07:00,639 Tuesday and thirteen Tuesdays and thirteen, unforgettable duo that made us enjoy Christmas They 93 00:07:00,959 --> 00:07:04,480 made a very famous sketch that everyone will remember that it was that of my 94 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:09,839 husband beats me. He went out to Millan characterized as a woman with a 95 00:07:09,879 --> 00:07:12,319 black eye and said that I cried ay. My husband beats me, he 96 00:07:12,439 --> 00:07:15,759 hits me, he beats me like that half an hour, my husband beats 97 00:07:15,839 --> 00:07:18,920 me, he hits me. And the next sketch passed an advance. The 98 00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:25,680 show was burying the husband who had died and she cried. Oh, he 99 00:07:25,759 --> 00:07:28,040 ' s gonna hit me now, so he doesn' t hit me anymore. 100 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,160 The whole of Spain got wild, didn' t applaud the skeech. 101 00:07:31,279 --> 00:07:38,839 Well, that was wonderful. Today u See the writer who writes it already 102 00:07:38,879 --> 00:07:42,279 decides not to record it. Let' s say it' s decided to 103 00:07:42,279 --> 00:07:45,519 record it. It' s recorded, it' s decided not to mount 104 00:07:45,519 --> 00:07:48,120 it, let' s put it together, decide not to broadcast it, 105 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,160 let' s say it' s broadcast. The next day they close the 106 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:57,240 channel is over and twenty- five years ago and you' re telling me 107 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:58,959 we' re more advanced today. That' s not a lie, least 108 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,839 of all in the smoke humor seen today. If you want to make a 109 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:05,199 joke a little bit, you know what I say by squeezing a little bit, 110 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,399 you have to do it at home, because at home it' s 111 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:11,439 the only place you feel safe, unless you' re walkers. This is 112 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:16,199 because camels have been robbed of their house. You know, he' s 113 00:08:16,199 --> 00:08:18,680 been mugged. He' s been assaulted by three Romans. Well, you 114 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:20,480 don' t know if they were Romans, but I put my hand on 115 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:26,240 the fire. The point is, they broke into his house at dawn. 116 00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:31,080 They tied him up and gagged him. They tied him up so he wouldn 117 00:08:31,159 --> 00:08:37,360 ' t escape and gagged him so he wouldn' t sing. The news 118 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:48,279 case. What struck me powerfully is that they didn' t hit anything. 119 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:54,600 They didn' t attack him, they didn' t touch his hair, 120 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:58,919 nothing. That' s very nice. I don' t think there' 121 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:07,519 s a bigger man who' s born to an artist than to jump into 122 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:11,320 his house and not hit him I hope that one day it happens to me, 123 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:15,759 look at what I' m saying, because I guess when they were 124 00:09:15,799 --> 00:09:20,159 preparing the assault, because someone warmed his mouth, we went in there and 125 00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:20,559 we grabbed him pein pam pan and said another no for real. How we 126 00:09:20,639 --> 00:09:24,399 ' re gonna hit Camilo is this. How we' re going to beat 127 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:30,639 the man who made us vibrate with Jesus Christ Superstar. How we' re 128 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:33,200 gonna beat the man who made us dance with living like this is dying of 129 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:37,200 love. He also made mollamazo. I don' t argue with you, 130 00:09:37,519 --> 00:09:41,600 but he' s got something on me. Melina forgive me everything for nothing 131 00:09:41,639 --> 00:09:50,519 and they didn' t hit her how nice? Because with José Luis Moreno 132 00:09:50,559 --> 00:10:05,279 there was no doubt. Hey I mean, Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha People get hot. Also, 133 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:09,679 and today where, when you' re already entangled by something, you 134 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,559 get angry, so I could say no, no, no, what you 135 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:16,600 ' re doing today, protest on Twitter, you know on Facebook, put 136 00:10:16,639 --> 00:10:20,039 on your wall things clear and denounce this whole situation and what you' ve 137 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:24,120 said, what you' ve said, because of course, Tuesday and 13 138 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,679 today I couldn' t work. But Jorge Javier Vázquez, who well, 139 00:10:26,879 --> 00:10:31,120 Jorge Javier Vázquez can be every afternoon with his cut of suckers on television for 140 00:10:31,159 --> 00:10:35,559 four hours, tearing apart, vilifying, insulting, and that can be done. 141 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:39,759 It' s funny. And the people he does go out on the 142 00:10:39,799 --> 00:10:45,519 street and he shows that people like him are going at best people get hot 143 00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:48,879 Twitter. I remember a case. A while ago. You know when she 144 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:52,159 died, Sister Mary, Sister Mary, the nun steals children, which is 145 00:10:52,159 --> 00:10:56,320 how posterity has passed. Sister Maria, the baby nun. The lady died 146 00:10:56,360 --> 00:11:01,720 at eighty- seven years of age and at that time social networks were combustible. 147 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:05,759 I open Twitter and read the tweet of a 17- year- old 148 00:11:05,759 --> 00:11:11,000 boy. He said I read attention. He had a hundred and twenty characters 149 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:20,799 left. He' s got that little. He paid attention, put Fallece, 150 00:11:20,159 --> 00:11:26,879 Sister Mary. That' s what happens to him as a whore, 151 00:11:26,039 --> 00:11:31,080 hahahahaha, what I hear, but seriously, for a whore you want to 152 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:31,360 come here like eighty- seven years. The ladies are dead for whore. 153 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:37,159 You' re telling me seriously You want there really is a direct relationship between 154 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:41,360 being a whore and dying. The kid was at home I got the news 155 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,559 out of the way. That' s what happens to her as a whore 156 00:11:43,639 --> 00:11:46,960 to send, and she doesn' t care about everything. The boy was 157 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:50,559 already coming Calentito who, in a way, I can understand. I can 158 00:11:50,600 --> 00:12:00,279 understand that you are robbed of your son and you are not upset a priori, 159 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:07,759 but I put myself on the other side, year nine hundred and fifty 160 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:11,240 - nine, Madrid, a marriage of forty- two. Forty- three 161 00:12:11,279 --> 00:12:16,000 years, they' ve been married 15 years and have no children. She 162 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:22,200 cries every night until she falls asleep, holding her withered belly because she fails 163 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,879 to make her dream come true as a child, which was to be a 164 00:12:24,879 --> 00:12:30,279 mother. He' s broken, he' s even started drinking because he 165 00:12:30,279 --> 00:12:33,919 can' t make the woman of his life happy and that' s killing 166 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:39,039 him inside one day. A friend tells him he knows he' s been 167 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:43,320 told that he knows about a nun who for a hundred thousand pesetas gives you 168 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:50,559 a child and this man mortgages himself, seeks the money from where he doesn 169 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,440 ' t have it. When with a hundred thousand pesetas of the fifty- 170 00:12:52,799 --> 00:12:58,639 nine year you bought three floors in the center of Madrid, he gets that 171 00:12:58,799 --> 00:13:03,919 money and like for a baby to make his wife happy. That' s 172 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:07,120 the nicest thing I' ve ever seen in my life. Fuck. That 173 00:13:07,159 --> 00:13:11,559 ' s beautiful and also, responsibility, because you have a biological child, 174 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,360 you drop it in the park and give it to you. You fall off 175 00:13:16,399 --> 00:13:20,840 a slide, a child who cost you 100, 000 pesetas doesn' t 176 00:13:20,919 --> 00:13:22,960 forgive him. That' s a lifeless one. You' re in the 177 00:13:22,039 --> 00:13:24,759 park with a hell of a tension. Good shit and since I' m 178 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,519 over two years old, consumption doesn' t cover you. See who you 179 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:31,720 claim when you' re 15. Dad tells you I' m gothic. 180 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,960 Go get the nun' s accounts Forget about it You' re sold. 181 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:41,679 I understand that some people leave a little bit You know what happens to me, 182 00:13:41,879 --> 00:13:46,919 I just understand parenthood as something animal. I' m a father, 183 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:50,879 I have two children and I understand it this way. In fact, last 184 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:54,840 week I was seeing Susana griso because I used to see Ana Rosa, but 185 00:13:56,000 --> 00:14:01,360 Ana Rosa gets her locked up. Then I see Susana. I was seeing 186 00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:05,360 Susana when I see a middle- aged marriage with a child about twelve years 187 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:11,159 old. Fat ugly glasses good anyway. The point is they were going to 188 00:14:11,159 --> 00:14:13,279 talk about bullying I see, they' re going to talk about bullying and 189 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:16,559 me at home bullying, bullying, a bullying case and me? Bullying? 190 00:14:16,639 --> 00:14:18,519 Bullying, bullying, so, bullying, bullying me? They' re gonna 191 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:22,879 talk about bullying, bullyingbullyin, bullying, so, bullying, bullying and me, 192 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,360 what' s bullying gonna be? Bullying? They' re going to 193 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,480 talk about bullying, about what? Bullyin, bullyin, bullyn bullyng, bullying, 194 00:14:26,919 --> 00:14:31,919 bullying and me, what' s bullying? I' m looking for 195 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:33,639 him on the Internet bullying what it was like all my life beating up the 196 00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:37,159 fool in the class. Now they call him bullying. The point is that 197 00:14:37,279 --> 00:14:43,720 the mother comes out and says good morning, Susana, thank you for inviting 198 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:48,279 us to your show. We' re already desperate, desperate because my son 199 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:52,600 gets beat up in high school like a piano laughs at Tube, Christian Gray, 200 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,840 that is, the child is shocked and we can' t do it 201 00:14:56,840 --> 00:15:03,759 anymore. We can no longer use it because attention I open quotes says we 202 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:09,879 have already put seventeen complaints in the school, fourteen complaints in the Community of 203 00:15:09,919 --> 00:15:13,320 Madrid and twelve complaints to the Ombudsman of the meno and the child they continue 204 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:16,759 to beat good that they have hit him this morning that then we will not 205 00:15:16,759 --> 00:15:16,759 take out of the recess. I' ve already brought a black eye. 206 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,519 Don' t you see the makeup one to cover it up and we can 207 00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:24,720 ' t do it anymore. And it fits me like that. I took 208 00:15:24,759 --> 00:15:28,600 a role and a pen. I started accounting. I say let' s 209 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,240 see. Let' s see first day your son comes home twelve years old 210 00:15:31,279 --> 00:15:35,399 with a black eye. You say. These are kid stuff. On the 211 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,320 second day we already have to if you' re going to talk to the 212 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,759 teacher, on the third day with the head of studies, on the fourth 213 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:46,039 day with the director, on the fifth day threats to report and on the 214 00:15:46,039 --> 00:15:48,200 sixth you file a complaint. This means that your son has been beaten seventeen 215 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:52,519 plus six twenty- three times, but that' s the 24th beating. 216 00:15:52,799 --> 00:15:54,919 I' m sick of them not listening to you at school. Where you 217 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:58,960 go to the Community of Madrid, where you put a total of fourteen denunciations, 218 00:15:58,039 --> 00:16:02,919 plus thirty, but that is to beat thirty- nine. Seeing that 219 00:16:02,919 --> 00:16:04,559 the Community of Madrid also does not put a brake on the matter, you 220 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:08,799 go to the Ombudsman of the Minor where you make twelve more complaints than I 221 00:16:08,799 --> 00:16:11,600 do. I think the official, when I' m going to get you 222 00:16:11,639 --> 00:16:12,759 in, takes out the pink paper Hostia, the usual thing that they' 223 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:18,919 ve hit the kid, throwing a total of fifty- one beatings, but 224 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:22,000 it' s that beating fifty- two. The best thing you can think 225 00:16:22,039 --> 00:16:23,759 of is going to TV. Of course, that' s a great idea. 226 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,440 Go on TV, make the kid famous, let everyone know about him. 227 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:30,600 If when I cross it and say look, today they didn' t 228 00:16:30,639 --> 00:16:41,759 hit it. It' s not normal. Let' s see. It 229 00:16:41,879 --> 00:16:47,120 ' s not normal for you to let your 12- year- old come 230 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:51,639 in that you' ve fucked up fifty- three times. It' s 231 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:57,559 not normal that I don' t even get half a look. This is 232 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:02,639 very simple. I repeat, I have two children, yes, twelve years 233 00:17:02,639 --> 00:17:07,279 old. Any one of my kids gets home. It' s very simple. 234 00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:11,680 I' m going to school the next day I' m telling you, 235 00:17:12,279 --> 00:17:15,119 I want to know who hit you. I put them in the trunk 236 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,519 of my car. I' ll take them off the ground. I hit 237 00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:22,000 shit whose only limit is blood. Once I finish, I put a plastic 238 00:17:22,039 --> 00:17:26,839 in the trunk, put them back in the emergency room, because I' 239 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:30,920 m not a hanger where I leave them as a photocopy of my deni and 240 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:34,680 a note for their parents who say come home that I' m waiting for 241 00:17:34,759 --> 00:17:37,200 you children of the Great Whore. And when the father sees it, I 242 00:17:37,279 --> 00:17:40,599 blow it, too, and it' s bigger than you. I' 243 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:45,000 ll get him in the back, but I' m gonna blow him up, 244 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:49,039 ' cause no one touches my kids. Gentlemen, you have to go 245 00:17:49,079 --> 00:17:53,319 back to the fifties when you could hit a child, you have to go 246 00:17:53,319 --> 00:18:00,000 back, you have to beat the kids to see the others, not yours. 247 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,880 And we' re always the same, always the same with the same 248 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:17,000 bullshit. That shouldn' t be done. That shouldn' t be said. 249 00:18:17,759 --> 00:18:22,599 I remember when the cruise went down the Concordia coast you remember the coast 250 00:18:22,759 --> 00:18:27,519 concordia that Italian cruise that I don' t know how it did, but 251 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,839 I find it harder to dump it than to sink it. I mean, 252 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:33,640 you give me a pick and a shovel and I' ll sink your boat. 253 00:18:34,319 --> 00:18:37,799 You' re asking me to dump him here I don' t even 254 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,839 know where to start, I mean, what I wanted to get into port 255 00:18:40,839 --> 00:18:42,720 by touching my knee. I don' t understand. The fact is that 256 00:18:42,799 --> 00:18:52,640 he turns to the boat, turns to the boat and then produces the most 257 00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:56,480 famous anecdote that is that it has to do with the captain Tino esque. 258 00:18:56,359 --> 00:19:04,039 The captain is that Tino declared attention. I will not add or take away 259 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:11,559 any words from the captain' s official statement to the maritime authorities. The 260 00:19:11,599 --> 00:19:19,319 captain is Kettino declared that I stumbled on board the first boat, save lives 261 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:26,359 that was headed for port and once on land, I thought better handling from 262 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:30,240 this location the rescue work. I say good and if I bring you a 263 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,640 gintonic, it' s already a crazy thing. I was bringing in just 264 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:37,319 like we' re going down slowly. Please, automatically, not to applaud 265 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:45,240 you with a certain criterion. Increase automatically. The international community points to Captain 266 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:52,799 Esquetino as a coward and a miserable, when I believe that this man, 267 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:56,000 his only sin is to be a human being. I mean, he did 268 00:19:56,039 --> 00:20:00,880 what anyone else would do to save himself, because the nuance is that the 269 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:06,039 captain is in his house today and there are twenty- three at the bottom 270 00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:10,200 of the sea. Let' s not forget that. Let' s not 271 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:14,599 forget that. You remember when they were there in the reporters good afternoon. 272 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,519 We' re here with the survivors of the Costa Concordia. Let' s 273 00:20:18,519 --> 00:20:22,480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 274 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:22,480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 275 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:22,480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 276 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:22,480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 277 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:22,480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 278 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:22,480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 279 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:22,480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 280 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:22,480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 281 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:22,480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 282 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:22,480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 283 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:22,480 see, let' s see, let' s see, let' s 284 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:26,759 see, let' s see. Survivor is a category at least elevated by 285 00:20:26,839 --> 00:20:30,079 that rule of three. I am a flu survivor who has ravaged humanity throughout 286 00:20:30,079 --> 00:20:36,640 history. It is a waste of billions of innocent lives, for we are 287 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:40,440 survivors because we have made a partnership and we are going to meet once a 288 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,039 year. So fuck knowing what restaurant you give me is pretty, because you 289 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:48,559 are good come ah, Super well, we are here with the survivors of 290 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,440 the Costa Concordia, this, Señora, marriage of Valencia. Let' s 291 00:20:52,440 --> 00:21:00,200 talk, see how they feel, how they meet, and Mrs A takes 292 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:06,240 mom to drink. We' re with the psychological help I say, well, 293 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:19,559 you already brought psychological help from before. This fool goes because you can 294 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:26,640 believe he' s the ship' s crew, bartenders, personal boat drivers 295 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:34,240 in general, banging on the passengers to get out. First you can believe 296 00:21:34,319 --> 00:21:41,279 it. I, yes, you can' t be the people since you 297 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:45,880 saw Titanic It' s believed that while the ship is sinking, the other 298 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:49,319 plays the violin, so save yourself who can and the lady doesn' t. 299 00:21:51,079 --> 00:21:56,200 First, first the passengers and then the crew. Of course, the 300 00:21:56,279 --> 00:22:02,599 typical Indian waiter, who embarked eleven months a year for three hundred dollars a 301 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:07,559 month, has to let pass first to a marriage in Valencia that has spent 302 00:22:07,599 --> 00:22:11,200 twelve zero euros on a week' s vacation to see if they stick a 303 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:22,039 fuck and recover the magic walks and that they give them asses and again we 304 00:22:22,079 --> 00:22:27,039 tend to put up with that friend touches balls that we all have the typical 305 00:22:27,039 --> 00:22:33,119 ready. So with a lot of smart feces, you know what a smart 306 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:37,200 guy is. A smart one is the one who tells you an absolute obviousness, 307 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,640 but he tells you with a tone, an authorization, a category that 308 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,839 seems to be discovering America, the bastard. We all have a brother- 309 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:45,920 in- law who' s smart, a father- in- law who 310 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:49,680 ' s a liko. They' re usually in your political family. There 311 00:22:49,799 --> 00:22:56,559 you go. It comes from the Costa Concordia and tells you about If I 312 00:22:56,599 --> 00:23:03,119 saw myself in a similar situation like that of the Costa Concordia, my first 313 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:11,000 reaction, the natural one, would be to help others to a risk of 314 00:23:11,039 --> 00:23:18,200 my own integrity, because I do not. Not me. I fly 200 315 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:23,920 times a year and 200 times without exception. I sit at the emergency door 316 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:29,960 and the 200 times without exception comes there to the assistant with that roll of 317 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,079 Hello. Good afternoon, because everyone is spoken to normally except the one at 318 00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:34,519 the emergency door who talks to him like he' s an asshole. Not 319 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,359 me. I' ve been told hello you' re coming with your parents. 320 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:44,039 Well, the point is, it adds good afternoon. You' re 321 00:23:44,079 --> 00:23:47,599 at the emergency door. In case of an accident. Here are the instructions 322 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:51,519 on how to open it and remember to leave the cabin and help the rest 323 00:23:51,559 --> 00:23:59,039 of the passage leave the ship. Two hundred times a year I look that 324 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:03,200 professional in the eye and in all the cold blood. I' m telling 325 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:11,960 you, of course, in case of an accident. In case of an 326 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:17,559 accident, I will. When inside I' m thinking and shit like this 327 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:21,440 falls off. I' ll go out first and pick you up who' 328 00:24:21,519 --> 00:24:22,960 s going out I' ll never close the door again. Look what I 329 00:24:22,039 --> 00:24:27,640 ' m saying to you, you have, well, I' m saying 330 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:36,240 it publicly. If I' m on the Concordia coast, okay I' 331 00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:41,279 m going on the first boat, on the first boat that goes to port, 332 00:24:41,519 --> 00:24:45,359 okay I' m going on Captain Bots'. I kill people. 333 00:24:47,079 --> 00:24:48,480 Oh, but when I say I kill people, I say I kill literal 334 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,720 people. I mean, I' m going to the kitchen. I pick 335 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:55,839 up a knife, I pull out hearts, fourth laugh at the last scene 336 00:24:55,880 --> 00:25:00,519 of any Tarantino movie. He rides a fucking pickle. I kill people, 337 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,640 but I get out first. My wife will see what I do. Everything 338 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:10,359 has to be said because I don' t want to, I don' 339 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:15,279 t want to die. Call me your eccentric and above all. I don 340 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:21,039 ' t want to live in a country where there are forty or fifty million 341 00:25:21,039 --> 00:25:26,039 censors. I' m also not interested in one where today Tuesday and thirteen, 342 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:29,359 because they couldn' t work, in which the humorists are being permanently 343 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,880 cut off. And above all, I refuse, as a professional and as 344 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:38,160 a person, to be part of a system in which people like Javier Vázquez 345 00:25:38,519 --> 00:25:44,960 25 hours a week ago live and people as a good source are at home. 346 00:25:45,640 --> 00:26:07,359 I' ll pass. Thank you.