Comedy Central Podcastja how the country is. Hey, you' ve seen Telecinco
lately, I mean, they' re looking for the bottom and they can
' t find it. I mean, they' ve already lowered the bar
so much that at two o' clock in the morning the tarot starts and
says that look now improvement would be better even with the program this of flame
and wins. You know we always laugh at the presenter East who' s
had his blood exchanged for coffee, he' s there. Welcome, we
have to abdinate today the hidden word we have hidden. It' s a
city It was a clue. I can' t say well, it'
s better off Come on. It' s a city that starts with that
and ends up in Alamanca to see if we have any brave to see we
have a call like this. No thanks for calling friend cough and drunk sleepwalker,
because at this time we laugh at these contests and we do wrong because
they are giving money. You don' t see he' s got a
bigger plate now. He' s got music. You have to be a
musician and end up there, because being a musician is not like being a
comedian. Being a musician requires preparation. Uh, and they' ve been
preparing, I mean, years studying at a conservatory. They' ve learned
to play several instruments. They can write, they can read in staves,
which is very difficult. It' s like understanding Sakira when she sings is
the most complicated and there' s the guy playing down there that if they
trade her poa for a knife she thanks you, no, but to me
she' s wearing a tie with a swimmer of sobs band The Blues Brothers.
It' s incognito. If you work there, the last thing you
want is to be recognized and there' s the guy playing there being muzzles
for much less that this killed himself kurk Vein. And it improves what is
in Telecinco, because you have seen men women and vice versa, you have
seen what cleavages and they and them. Eh, but let' s not
blame him all the Tele Five that the country is as it is, because
no, that is, what we can expect from Spain, a country in
which I contract more durations the test, uh, that is, a country
in which miners are forced to lock up in the mines, lock up in
the mines, that is, how the serious heifer has come down. No,
we don' t have to start, we have to start to put
it a little bit of value that here, in Spain, we are not
to be brave. No, not here when we have a problem with someone,
you don' t solve it face- to- face. No.
No, and if you look face to face with much you tell him um
because they' re holding me that if you' re not alone when I
catch you, I' m here more caught tell me now. In other
words, if the avengers had been recorded in Spain, the resentful would have
been entitled. That' s not where we went. We love it and
from behind, just from behind. I am sure that when the rulers of
Spain meet with the rulers of the United Kingdom to discuss the issue of Gibraltar,
in the end we will be afraid of what you wanted from Gibraltar.
Not sure, we didn' t say anything to us, but you texted
us on the phone. No, they' re the way it goes.
Hey, now it' s been the boy. He picks up my phone
at once and he doesn' t. Ah well, nothing we leave,
nothing, because until then English, until then and as they are leaving and
Gibraltar says to the Spanish, what if hais has not seemed hi Gibraltar Spanish,
not that it will take to pass bus the same noise or something.
Ah, well, we' re leaving again, so long English, see
you later, when you' re going eh English? Bastard, I greet
the champion, because we' re going behind. We have to go face
to face with anyone, we beat anyone in Europe or the Germans too,
but they are the best in Europe. Don' t believe it. It
' s not like I don' t get German in Germany. In Germany
we charge twice as much as in Spain. What do you care if you
don' t know, you earn them what you earn and you go on
vacation to Mallorca, or don' t fuck with me. In Spain we
won half, but we' re going on vacation to Cancun with two balls.
Eh ah, it' s not like in Germany we get beer this
big and you don' t miss the lid. In Germany we can go
on the highways to 200 and in Spain already, but they take away points.
It hasn' t been taken to my grandmother today, but poor.
My grandmother has never left Valladolid. He' s got a speed record in
ten provinces. That' s in the hall of a in de Albacete,
they put her in, they call her at the residence. Yeah. But
in Germany we are governed by a great statesman, Angela Merkel, and in
Spain also not by Angela Merkel. Not seriously, but to stand up is
one thing and criticize so freely another that here we are very poquitic criticism,
that is, look at it gray, that only come to Spain to party
and to get drunk if you went you spill mus to Ireland to improve the
English, eh that is. It has never been the case that a Spanish
who goes from the mons to Ireland comes speaking English. You' re just
coming with a Spanish pawn. We didn' t get together with the Irish
to teach them tacos and then an Irishman came on vacation to Madrid. You
don' t know where the Prado Museum is going, but you know perfectly
well you have to shit in the whore, eh no, but you just
come to let them keep coming. If we' re ruining your English,
that is, to improve your English, you' re going to take an
Erasmus to come back to get it, criticize for criticizing. It' s
not like Latinos just come to Spain to pound and pound and pound. If
you went to Cuba to see cathedrals under Juanillo' s eye, he went
from the mons to Ireland. It came badly, that is, I drank
before, because then I drank more hurt wine with the women because the Irish
rejected them and they didn' t talk about it reject you and you'
re like an Irish woman rejecting you. There' s nothing harder, and
the guy' s coming in on his ass now and he' s got
some kind of dyslexic drunkenness. It' s five o' clock in the
morning, when all the girls in the club have turned him down, he
steps down half the track and starts putting that country in, but all the
whores are women and he' s going to see Juanillo to see if what
you' ve wanted to say is that all the women are whores. I
find that very offensive. And if what you mean is that all prostitutes are
women, some surprise you take, but you' ve already paid for it
and you eat it. Eh jabla would be We have to forgive Juanillo everything,
because he has shown me that being simple, we go further. He
' s a simple guy, but he always beats you. On the first
day he went he touched me next to him and the waiter comes with the
prawns. He leaves a little plate next door with the boss' s envelope,
and this is about. It' s a wipe for the prawns.
They' re not wet, the prawns aren' t. It' s
not for the hands, they don' t have hands. The prawns don
' t see gentleman, it' s for you to clean up after eating
the prawns. Oh, you don' t want me to get smudged You
' re serious. Being simple, you go further. Check. We guys
have always been so simple that we' ve been messing around for years and
we haven' t solved it. I mean, we' ve already been
overtaken by everyone in every country, I mean, the Italians are a better
league because they have more lip, the French are a better league because they
' re more romantic. Africans are better off, because for obvious reasons we
have spent years, years already choosing the wrong time of the night to flirt
then at five o' clock in the morning. I give myself up and
there you no longer know how you smell at five in the morning and no
longer on the outside inside you know how your soul smells eh, because at
five in the morning your stomach is fighting with everything they' ve brought that
night and a normal night' s party. I' m sure what'
s come in, or it' s five pinchitos, seven beers, two
shots of herbs, a little burbony, six without thonic, as it is.
And it' s very responsible so that all that doesn' t fall
empty you' ve eaten a spicy one you think it has going out so
that someone alive is near without getting musty and plant you advance the brave girl
and you start going blah blah? Will you look With the first bo the
girl already speaks Turkish and you still brave blah? Bla? Bla? Bla?
Bla? With the second po the girl already wears a camped suit and
starts spinning and you continue brave blah? Bla? Bla? Bla? Bla?
Look there at the girl with the glasses tarnished, tears, falling,
please, someone mash me, but quickly, not like this one who is
doing it little by little and follow the blah blah? Bla? Bla?
Bla? So much for singing to the fountain that in the end, then
blah blah? Bla? Blau? You have to distract your attention in order
to solve this problem. M j jaaa. Na No. No, no,
no, no, nothing, the ah no ah no. He was
a going taste the same now as before. Hahahahahahaha, it' s more
I' ve had someone going that I' ve done better the second.
I' m saying yes now Look, it' s not going to gurgle
It' s going to get him out for spice. How nice, what
a desire to eat now, uh serious, being simple is good. I
mean, being simple is good. If the simpler we are, the better.
Our relationship with you. In other words, there is no healthier relationship
between the male and the female sex than that of a mother with her child.
There you have the level of demand. Here' s your boy.
Today, sleep well eats and shit ask me. That' s a couple
relationship and I' m your ideal man, but then you start demanding things
and you get there to demand that you go the same thing one day.
You walk with your girl down the street, meet with a friend, start
between the two of you talking and you are, first of all as a
spectator. But then it' s how your girl starts telling her friend bad
things about you being you. So, then, when I' m not
going to tell you, in fact, start saying some things that you and
you say, but I' m not going to see if I' m
not, I' m imagining it. I mean, you see in a
window and he says pussy, because I see myself, he' s got
to see me now, too. This one' s good, this one,
he' s out there all day partying with Juanillo, all day standing
there with him. Hey, and the toilet cup doesn' t know it
' s got a lid, it never goes down. And at work,
as you see he' s late he always sleeps well, well, good,
good, well, well, let him say bad things. Tell your
friend here, tell her how, uh, how. I mean, I
ask for a family pizza to come home and the empano look like uh,
like cao, tell her like shit, uh, well, the lid isn
' t that you don' t put it down that doesn' t close.
Hey. Yeah, imagine after a pasty tread, then concrete beams and
tell him how I sleep? How do I sleep? Hey, sleep?
Well, look, this week I fell asleep three times while we were making
love. Three, uh, three, two have been two, so,
look, I fell asleep twice while we were making love. And from what
you see once while I was really jerking off, uh the simple, well,
I mean, we' re gonna enjoy the relationship more, so we
' re simple and it' s really great, look, we have to
end that sex war that exists because, besides, it' s clear that
you won it years ago and this looks very clear in the couple' s
reaction through the mobile phone, because look, you can be calling your girl
thirty- five times on the phone without me answering that thirty- six is
going to take you off with your naturality. Yeah, yeah, no,
yeah, I haven' t been calling you since Tuesday and you hear Thursday,
or you don' t know that I had it in my purse in
Silence and then of course I called you the Pintalabians true, but you don
' t have the balls to reveal yourself, because you know what the order
is, you know what the chain of command is. Now, now,
do not want God, do not God that someday you are the One who
does not answer her. Don' t want God, you who carry the
phone to find out when he already calls you that you have the polydore so
strong that dogs bark in Palencia. If your name is calling you, are
there already globbitor of colors, on the way to the sky that calls you
already looks so strong that it can throw you to the ground? I mean,
God forbid, someday you take your phone out of your pocket, say
a loss of yours, no or wait, wait, you' ve been
gone two minutes. I' m returning the call that I' m sure
you understand, that' s you waiting with pressure and what you' re
in is but why we haven' t picked up the phone. But,
honey, it was two minutes ago, and I' m doing it by
watching the call. And what are you doing those two minutes so important that
you couldn' t answer, because look is actually spinning around with the car.
It is that I went with Juanillo in the car and we have turned
ah Juanillo, we are always Juanillo, all Juaniño here, juani Yo there,
juan and I this, Juan and the other. What happens if Juanillo
took you out of a window you go behind, man he' s out
asking for the car and or he doesn' t give ah. Don'
t look for the complicated, don' t look for the ideal. The
ideal is not what you seek, because the perfect man exists, but the
woman willing to change him also enjoy the simple. That we' re simple
is very good, because that facilitates the couple' s reaction. So,
you' ll always know how we are, it' s how these people
in the state of Facebook are like very clear that it puts you watching the
rain fall through the window on a fall afternoon, open it and jump you
see it, you perceive it. So, seriously, being simple is very
good. If you ever ask us what' s wrong with you and we
answer, nothing happens to me. It' s just that nothing' s
wrong with me, I just feel weird about you, because you' ve
lost my team, but nothing' s wrong with me. I mean,
we' re ever sitting with you on the couch and you see how we
get up and you ask us where you' re going and we answer you.
It' s just that net being alone, I just need to be
alone. Nothing else, I mean, I' m not replanting my relationship
with you, let alone my sexuality, that' s to say, I
want to fart at ease and if you ever ask us, if you ever
ask us where you want, to go on vacation and we answer you.
Wherever you want the sky, because we don' t give a damn.
We just want to rest a few days with you, because we love you
so much and because in the end let' s say what we say,
we' re going wherever you want the sky? If as a couple we
are simple and we complicate the lives of singles. I' m sure you
' ve ever had a single friend of these who, as the story tells
you, even make you want to break his mouth this one that' s
a day out of partying with you and hooks up with a very pretty girl,
what' s called a pibon and goes home, home with the tibon
do things that are done with a pivot in your house. And the next
day he comes and says good. You think I' m going with the
girl to this house yesterday. We had sex and he wanted to stay to
sleep. You may have seen without shame, but let' s see if
you' re ready. I have a heart if the girl, after getting
laid, wants to stay to sleep, because she stays to sleep now in
the morning. He' s taking someone else. Uh, because sex for
a bachelor has to be like water for a dromedary. I mean, drink
everything you can drink, you never know when you' re gonna be able
to drink again. I mean, I' ve had single times. Look
at a thirst, a thirst, a thirst, and I remember nights at
home drinking only that my drinking arm hurt already. The last girl I'
d ever had a drink with goes with nostalgia. I say God how we
drank that night. We drank from the front, drank from the back.
He drank at night. Not anymore if you' ve ever had a friend
of these bachelors, if you' ve been willing to give it back to
him, he can be returned, because there' s nothing far away gives
a bachelor more than one day a friend of his. I invited him to
dinner with his girl, I mean, you go to dinner with another couple
you say let' s go to this thing that you do out of compassion
or to fuck with my life, because if it' s a couple that
takes little time, well because they' re still getting to know each other,
they tell jokes, thank you, they' re nice, they'
re still in that farce truth. But if it' s a couple that
takes time, you' re not going to have dinner with them, you
' re going to see how they argue. And that starts with French hints,
with second ones. But that already derives in insults and insult from one,
insult from the other, insult from one insult from the other, that
is, they will insult that you are already like the one who is watching
a tennis game without laying the rules, saying for this that ends up in
a pitbull fight and you already take refuge in your pasta dish, because I,
like here crouched and see if when my girlfriend meets a friend, I
disappear eh and not suddenly they get you told by the bride to your friend
and to you how it seems to you what your friend does. I was
happy with my macaroni of what you want me to say, whatever you say.
You' re sold. I mean, if you' re in favor
of your friend, your friend' s gonna be mad,' cause he
broke the peer pact. And if you favor your friend, she' s
gonna be mad at you and she' s not gonna let him go out
with you anymore, because you have to be conciliatory. Says man, is
that your uncle sometimes passes and you understand him has his stuff, so yeah,
hey don' t lower the lid. To good. If it doesn
' t close, it doesn' t close. It' s true that
very much to leave. Over there. But hey boy, he' s
good at the truth out there. It' s true that last week he
had a hard time with your sister, it' s true. But since
he eats eh and shits eh, he' s not a show anymore.
Look here the only thing we' re gonna do in this situation. If
you get one of these drunks, tea you go for peteneras, you get
drunk. You' re happy. However, eye after drunkenness, because all
comedians will be very much the subject of alcohol, of drinking, of getting
drunk. We have a good understanding. But we' ve missed a part,
that is, the hangover, what it' s about, I mean,
there' s inculcated stuff out there that they say is about dehydration with
what I' ve been drinking. I mean, you know the liquid that
I' ve ingested I' ve ingested how it' s going to be
by dehydration, I mean, I mean, how can it be that you
' re at five o' clock in the morning you want to be God,
I mean, you' re dancing all the songs, you' re
singing all the songs, you' re singing up to songs that you know,
you' re even putting the shit in everything that moves around the bar.
You' ve put your nose twice to a friend of yours already,
and the second time, because you' ve even got your back on the
street, running with other drunkards, someone who' s drunk faster on the
planet. I mean, how can it be that you lie on the bed,
uh being God and you get up as raped by satan already, that
is, you get up as if you had run the Tour de France without
Sillin with a crown of thorns saying but what happened here those seven hours that
was in bed. But if you' re that seven hours I' ve
been good, I' ve been a saint, snow drunk, I haven
' t smoked, I don' t do drugs. I didn' t
pray when I got in. I mean, this is because I think it
' s due to a few little beings called the hangover dwarfs. The senaditos
of the hangover are like the smurfs, but they smell of tobacco and they
will suck that when you get into bed, they come attracted to the smell
of the claw and start to provoke the effects of the hangover, of what
is a bad drunkenness, since one goes towards your head and start to find
a very good hammer that they have, not to wake you up, but
so that the next day you are doubting if your brain is an l and
your skull a m e. Others go to your body and ask you to
kick and push so that it hurts a little bit like pa you think doubting
if you have slept on the mattress or on the thermomix. Others sneak into
your pants, grab your mobile phone, and start calling an ex- girlfriend
of yours like impersonating you as they do with fear. They make him afraid
like with drunk mode like there or being wrong, I still want to.
Then there are others that go to your neck and start pinching you to get
a purple out here and your girlfriend thinks how I do with another. Hey.
Well, me. The hangovers have gotten me to shit in my pants
and my mother didn' t believe me to be little dwarf dinners, children
of your tea, ygo hascarao. Mom believed me for years about the wise
men who put her in one night. Please, thank you very much.