WEBVTT

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Hunted Part two, Keeper of the
Woods written by Neil Mfinn. Derec came

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to see me a month before my
mother died. Although he's my brother's son,

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Derek is a year older than me, so our relationship was like that

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of cousins more than aunt and nephew. Growing up in my hometown of Willard

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Springs. We were close, but
he graduated high school and spent a year

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away at college before realizing that an
advanced education wasn't for him. He came

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home at the end of the spring
semester and began working on my father's farm.

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In time to wish me a fond
farewell as I packed up my International

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Scout and moved to Saint Louis,
Missouri. I don't really know why I

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chose Saint Louis. Chicago would have
been a more logical place given our location.

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Minneapolis would have made sense as well. I think I felt like they

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were not far enough removed from Willard
Springs. Big cities like New York in

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LA were too far removed, and
Saint Louis felt right. And here I've

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lived for the past forty years.
At the time of Derek's visit, I

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had been home exactly once. That
was when my grandfather died. I was

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blessed to have good and loving parents
in a large, closely knit family,

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but my universe centered around Granddaddy.
I followed him wherever he went and mimicked

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his every move and did my best
to model myself after him. My name

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is Uliley Jane, after my granny, who died before I was born,

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but it was my granddaddy who gave
me the nickname Shadow. It was a

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surprise to hear Derek voice over the
intercom that morning. When I heard the

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door buzzer, I assumed one of
my fellow tenants had accidentally locked him or

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herself out and was looking for someone
to open the door for them. Good

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lord, Derek, what are you
doing all the way down here in Saint

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Louis, I cried as he swept
me up in a big bear hug that

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pulled me off my feet. I
had business down here, so I thought

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i'd stop in. He lied,
business, Yeah, right, What business

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could a dairy farmer have four hundred
miles from home? I chatted, Well,

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maybe I just wanted to see my
favorite aunt, he offered, as

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he followed me across the little entry
hall into the living room of my apartment.

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I lived in an old building,
complete with all the character and charm

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of arched doorways and French doors,
and old fashioned phone niches and outdated electricity,

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plumbing and ventilation systems. But it
suited me after all these years.

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Feeling a bit melancholy, I said, oh, I don't know. He

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put a little too much effort into
his nonchalance. I felt a tinge of

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suspicion creep over me, but I
let it pass and offered him coffee.

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When I came back in with his
cup, my two cats had taken up

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residence on the sofa beside him.
One was glaring at him suspiciously, as

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if demanding an explanation for his presence, while the other was busy batting out

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his hand in an effort to force
him to pet her. Are they planning

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on eating me here or do they
have a den somewhere that they'll drag me

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off to, he asked, as
I handed him as coffee. Calopee,

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calypso get down, I scolded,
Well, they ignored me. Sorry,

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they're my watchcats. They'll like to
play good cop bad cop. Calope there

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distracts visitors with her overly friendly attitude, while Calypso works out of strategy for

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immediate expulsion if the need arises.
I don't think I've ever seen such large

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cats in my life. Derek stroked
Calopie's back and gave an oof when she

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jumped out onto his lap. Wow
she's heavy, he said. They're rag

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dolls. I explained, they're not
the largest breed of cats, but close

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to it. I think main coons
are bigger, and maybe one or two

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other breeds. They're actually the friendliest
breed I know of. Most rag dolls

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think they're dogs. While I sat
down in my favorite oversized chair next to

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the little gas fireplace and opened my
arms for Calypso to jump into my lap,

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and with both of us now securely
pinned to our seats by twenty pounds

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of overly affectionate fur, I ask
again why Derek had come so far for

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a visit. Well, you know, Grandma isn't well, he began,

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after a moment of consideration as to
how to proceed. His statement left me

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feeling cold inside, and I responded
accordingly, Derek, I know, just

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because I never go back there doesn't
mean I don't keep in touch. I

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talked to Mom and Dad at least
two or three times a week, and

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they come here a lot, especially
since you boys have taken over the dairy

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business. A lot of the city
people don't realize that farming is a business

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the same as manufacturing. Over the
years, my family has gone a bit

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further than selling milk to companies who
package it under their own names. Parker

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O'Connor is its own label. However, I left that world when I was

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eighteen, and my knowledge of dairy
farming is rudimentary at best, and my

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memories of growing up on the farm
feature creeks on hot summer days and my

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mother's vegetable garden and the elusive blue
ribbons offered at the county fair, and

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snow covered hills and hollers through which
snowmall bills were driven. Nevertheless, I'm

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proud of my family, even if
I don't fully understand their passion for milk

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production. Sitting across from Derek now, I was painfully aware that he wasn't

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here to talk butter, fat and
protein content of milk with me. There

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were questions in his eyes for which
I was sure I had the answers,

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but that I wasn't entirely sure I
could provide what wasn't accusing you of anything,

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he said, calmly, I was
just saying that she isn't well.

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He softened his voice even more and
continued, Now, I know you love

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Grandma and Grandpa. You've been a
good daughter to them, even from so

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far away. They brag on you
all the time. Grandpa never fails to

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mention how you came home from Granddaddy's
funeral and enrolled yourself full time in college,

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and you worked hard at it.
He gave me a crooked smile before

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saying, and we all know how
hard you had to work. School was

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never your forte Well, shut up, I laughed, relaxing a bit.

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Grandma and Grandpa are proud of you, he said. Who would ever have

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thought anyone in our family would go
so far that they've actually become a professor

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at a university. He said this
with an easy grin. Well, I'm

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not a full professor yet, I
corrected. I've only just recently achieved the

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rank of associate professor. You know, Tomato, Tomato, It's still more

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than anyone expected. Again, he
shot me a lazy grin from you anyway,

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I picked up a pen from my
side table and I threw it at

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him. The tension was slithering out
of the room. Well, thanks for

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not brating me about that, And
to be honest, I feel guilty not

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being there. I hope that my
smile hid some of the self loathing I

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felt for my cowardice. We spent
the next half hour making small talk and

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catching up on the happenings of Willard
Springs. It was nice having Derek there.

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My own brothers were all grown up
when I was born, and my

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sisters were two, and I was
closer to him than I ever could have

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been to my siblings. Suddenly Derek
asked what happened that week after Granddaddy died,

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and there it was a shot in
the dark, unexpected and painful.

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All the tension flooded back in.
Well, how much do you know?

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I countered. I know that I
hear things in the woods when I'm working

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in the barn. I know that
whatever's out there howling is too big to

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be a wolf. I know that
calves disappear and Grandpa blames it on coyotes.

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And I know we have fewer barn
cats in our neck of the woods

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than on any farms anywhere else,
and I know that I don't hunt anymore.

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You don't hunt, that statement said
at all? What have you seen?

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I asked. He was silent for
a moment, debating how much more

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to say. All right, I
have seen something, actually more than once.

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Did you talk to your grandfather about
it? I asked, No,

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he exclaimed indignantly. I don't want
to scare him. I burst into laughter

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at that, and it left him
sputtering nonsensical words until I interrupted with your

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grandfather has known about those things since
long before you and I were born.

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The expression knocked him over with a
feather, overused as it may be,

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was exactly what I was sure I
could have done to him at that moment.

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No, how, you can't be
serious, he stammered. I was

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tempted to go find a feather.
How do you know my story of the

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house that i'd heard while staying at
Granddaddy's house on the night of his funeral,

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and the figure I'd seen lurking around
the barns unfolded between deep size and

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long pauses. He pointed out that
my father would never have called the sheriff,

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much less agreed with him if he
already knew what was out there.

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I suggested that he did that for
my mother's sake, and she didn't know

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what my father and grandfather other new, and he would have done anything necessary

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to keep her from ever finding out. I stood up then and went over

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to the far wall of my living
room, where several floor to ceiling bookshelves

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sagged under the way to too many
books, and from a lower shelf,

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I removed one of my grandfather's journals. A few days after I arrived home

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from his funeral, they were delivered
to me with a note that said for

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safe keeping, love Dad. I
handed the journal to Derek. He opened

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it and began reading January seventeen,
nineteen fifty six. I heard them howling

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again last night. I asked loudly
this morning if she'd heard anything, but

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she said no. I think I
might get a telescope, one of those

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Spye scopes like a sea captain uses, and put it up in the attic

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in the west window. Derek stopped
reading, and I began to laugh.

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What are you laughing at? He
said, I don't know how I did

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that. I said, there are
two dozen journals on that shelf, and

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that's number two or three. I
just reached down and grabbed one, but

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that's the very first one I read
too. Well, what are these,

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he asked, flipping the book over
in his hand. What does the DM

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stand for? I explained how I'd
found the journals while cleaning out the office,

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and Granddaddy had kept a record going
all the way back to the middle

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of nineteen fifty four, when he
first heard the howling. He recorded every

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date, every sound, every animal
taken or missing, and every thought he

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had about them from July twenty seventh, nineteen fifty four, to September twenty

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two, nineteen seventy five. Most
of the entries were no more than a

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couple of sentences, stating things like
I heard them last night, or bullet

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is missing. He was a good
dog. The more detailed entries were descriptions

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and behavioral observations. As for the
d MS, I can only guess,

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I concluded. Why did he stop
in nineteen seventy five, Derec asked,

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I don't know. Maybe there are
more note books. Maybe he was beginning

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to see things that scared him too
much. I offered, you think it

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had anything to do with Julienna Dennison. Derec wondered aloud, Julienna Dennison.

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I had to think for a moment. The name sounded familiar, but I

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couldn't put a face to it.
And then it hit me, Oh,

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you mean Matt's old girlfriend, the
one he was engaged to but never married.

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You know, I liked her.
The memory of seeing the two of

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them skinny dipping in the river that
night flooded back to me. Whatever happened

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to her, shadow Derec said harshly, not understanding his sudden anger, and

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I stared back in shock. Seeing
that I was at a loss, he

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said, don't you remember Uncle Matt
almost went to jail for her. Well

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baffled, I shook my head.
Julianna Dennison disappeared one night when she and

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Matt were on a date. They
found her body all tore up. Now,

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how can you forget something that gruesome? It was the biggest news ever

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to hit Willard Springs, and Uncle
Matt was damn near charged with killing her.

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Dear God, I did remember.
I remembered seeing them in the water

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in the moonlight, and I remembered
them splashing each other and laughing. I

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remembered them coming together and in an
embrace, and I remember her turning and

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heading for the shore and disappearing in
the woods and screaming. I remembered it

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all. How could I have forgotten? It was the night I had slipped

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up to the attic to play with
the telescope when I was ten, and

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somehow I'd managed to block it all
out. But now the images came flooding

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back to me. Now I could
hear the distant screaming and pleading for mercy.

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I could see Matt running into the
break and coming out again and yelling

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for her. And he swept up
his jeans and he pulled them on as

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he ran for his truck, and
I heard him pull into the barnyard.

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I heard him running into the house
and my dad calling the police or was

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it my grandfather? Shadow? Shadow? Derek's voice was coming from somewhere far

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away. I looked up and saw
his face inches from mine. His lips

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were moving, and sounds were coming
from his mouth, but I couldn't understand

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them. I felt sick. Suddenly, I pushed Clipso off my lap and

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shoved Derek away, and I ran
down the hall to the bathroom. By

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the time I was through, I
was wishing i'd eaten more that day,

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it would have been easier than the
constant wretching. When I finally collapsed onto

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the bathroom floor, certain I'd never
be able to stand up again, I

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dissolved into loud and ugly sobs.
Fifteen minutes later, Derek knocked on the

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door, shadow, are you okay? No? I was not okay.

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I couldn't accept the image of Julianna
Dennison, except to see a rabbit running

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across a patch of snow and being
swept up by a monster that until that

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moment I never could have believed existed. What was worse, a fraction of

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a second before it sank its teeth
into the soft fur, the rabbit turned

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into Juliana. I pulled myself back
to my feet, and I opened the

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door, and Derek's worried face loomed
over me. His hands came up to

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support me as I began to sway
a bit, and gently he led me

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back to my chair in the living
room, and then disappeared down the hall

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to return with a glass of water. I took it gratefully and sipped gingerly

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for several long minutes before I was
able to speak again, and Derek listened

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in mortified silence as I described the
scene I had witnessed that night when I

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was a child. I told him
that, as far as I knew,

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the telescope was still intact, and
then I remembered that Dad had interrupted me

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the night I saw the dog man, and I didn't replace it. If

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Mom was the one who found it
later, it would likely have been tucked

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back into a little space under the
window. But if Dad went back up

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the stairs that night, he may
have gotten rid of it to prevent any

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more unwanted incidents. We'll see,
he said, when I get back,

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I'll go there first thing. And
look why, I asked, what would

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you do with that little monocular?
It's over forty years old. You'd be

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00:16:37.679 --> 00:16:41.600
better off buying a new one,
a better one, And then I paused

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00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:45.840
and nodded, you'd be better off
staying away from the subject altogether. I

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00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:52.399
can't, Derek answered flatly. I
understood, and I hated it, but

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00:16:52.519 --> 00:16:57.159
I understood. After that, was
sat in silence, and Derek spotted a

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short plastic poll on the offee table
and picked it up to dangle the attached

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feather and bells over the cats heads. They danced around and batted at it,

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and then at each other, and
my eyes were fixed on the cats,

212
00:17:11.160 --> 00:17:15.200
but my mind had me trapped in
an attic, staring out a window

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00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:21.200
and seeing something that couldn't be.
It could have been an hour before Derek

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00:17:21.319 --> 00:17:26.480
spoke. It could have been two
hours. The cats had long since lost

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00:17:26.599 --> 00:17:30.160
interest in the dangled feather, so
I doubt it could have been less.

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00:17:30.759 --> 00:17:33.799
And finally he stood up. I
had been so deep in thought that his

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00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:38.720
movement startled me. Are you leaving? There was an actual fear in my

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00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:44.319
voice, for which I was ashamed. Yeah, he said, slipping into

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00:17:44.359 --> 00:17:48.400
the jacket that he draped over the
chair earlier. It's getting late. Why

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00:17:48.440 --> 00:17:53.640
don't you stay, I pleaded,
much to myself. Discussed I'll come back

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00:17:53.680 --> 00:17:57.319
tomorrow, he promised. How about
I come and take you to breakfast.

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00:17:59.519 --> 00:18:03.839
I thought about that for a minute. Tomorrow felt like a long drive across

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a frozen tundra away. But he
was right to leave me. I needed

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the time to process these new memories, to understand them. Okay, I

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00:18:14.400 --> 00:18:18.000
acquiesced, but not on farm time, I quickly added, I don't get

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up before seven am. Look at
you, lazy bones, he teased,

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00:18:25.640 --> 00:18:30.799
it was still early on Saturday afternoon. When Derek left, I felt restless

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00:18:30.799 --> 00:18:33.880
and uncomfortable, so I decided to
head over to my office on campus,

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00:18:34.079 --> 00:18:38.839
where I had access to the new
tool called the World Wide Web, and

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there I searched for an hour to
find all that I could about the death

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00:18:42.599 --> 00:18:48.759
of Julianna Dennison. The Internet was
still young back then and not nearly as

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healthful as it is today, and
in the end I relented and walked over

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to the library, where I scanned
through microfish images of old newspapers until I

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00:18:57.880 --> 00:19:04.839
found what I was looking for.
The headlines were harsh and accusatory. Local

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00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:11.880
man accused of killing fiance while swimming. Read the first. The article relayed

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00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:17.039
the story of how Matt had taken
Juliana down to the river to spend some

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time alone with her and talk about
their wedding plans for this following summer.

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00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:26.599
There were several quotes from friends whose
names I recognized and who declared Matt's innocence

239
00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:33.200
and his inability to commit such a
heinous crime. The second paper, with

240
00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:38.319
a headline woman attacked and killed in
the woods, fiance held for questioning,

241
00:19:38.839 --> 00:19:45.400
was more of the same. This
time they interviewed Granddaddy, who adamantly stated

242
00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:48.640
that it had to be a wild
animal. No man could do to another

243
00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:53.759
human being what had been done to
that girl's body. I flipped through several

244
00:19:53.799 --> 00:19:59.680
more articles, each revealing a little
more about the autopsy, the Matt's release

245
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.799
based on the autopsy results, and
a search for large predators in and around

246
00:20:03.839 --> 00:20:10.839
the river that ended fruitlessly. The
last article declared her death to be a

247
00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:15.160
direct result of wild dogs, all
of which it said were rounded up and

248
00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:23.400
euthanized. Juliana's obituary showed a face
that I barely remembered. They had obviously

249
00:20:23.640 --> 00:20:29.440
used a school picture. Her hair
was long and dark brown and parted in

250
00:20:29.480 --> 00:20:33.759
the middle, with two metal hairbows
holding it back from her face on each

251
00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:38.039
side. Her pale eyes were heavily
made up in the electric shades of blue

252
00:20:38.119 --> 00:20:41.880
that were popular at the time,
and she was wearing a short sleeved,

253
00:20:42.039 --> 00:20:48.119
light neck turtleneck. I stared at
her with little sympathy. I never liked

254
00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:52.680
her, Unlike us, she wasn't
a farm kid, and for that she

255
00:20:52.799 --> 00:20:57.839
looked down on us. She lorded
her college degree over us, as though

256
00:20:57.880 --> 00:21:03.920
it was somehow made her better,
and my mother always acted awkwardly in front

257
00:21:03.960 --> 00:21:07.319
of her, and my dad always
found an excuse to work on something out

258
00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:12.400
in the barn when she was there, and Granddaddy stayed away altogether. Despite

259
00:21:12.440 --> 00:21:17.480
this, the thought of her being
torn to pieces by one of those creatures

260
00:21:17.519 --> 00:21:22.039
living in our woods was disturbing,
and I suppose that no one should have

261
00:21:22.119 --> 00:21:26.680
to suffer that sort of fate.
I had the librarian print out copies of

262
00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:32.480
all the articles I found, and
I took them home with me. Derek

263
00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:37.480
and I had been staring into our
cups of rapidly cooling coffee for too long.

264
00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:41.680
The din of people talking and dishes
being cleared, and servers rushing past

265
00:21:41.799 --> 00:21:47.200
with plates of food and bacon sizzling
on the grill somewhere beyond the lunch counter

266
00:21:47.519 --> 00:21:52.160
created miles of distance across a little
for mica top table at which we sat.

267
00:21:53.400 --> 00:21:57.839
Neither of us could think of a
thing to say. It seemed impolite

268
00:21:57.880 --> 00:22:03.640
to march into the top pick that
dominated all of our thoughts, but because

269
00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:07.240
it was all either of us could
think about, it left us incapable of

270
00:22:07.279 --> 00:22:15.119
any other conversation. I gave up. Tell me your story, huh.

271
00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:18.839
I wondered if Derek had fallen asleep
into his own thoughts that he'd forgotten I

272
00:22:18.920 --> 00:22:26.400
was there. Oh yeah, well, he began with the impeccable timing that

273
00:22:26.519 --> 00:22:30.319
only a server can have. Ours
approached the table at that moment to refill

274
00:22:30.359 --> 00:22:36.079
our cups and assure us that our
food would be out Momentarily. I thanked

275
00:22:36.119 --> 00:22:40.680
him with a smile and then turned
back to Derek and waited. He took

276
00:22:40.680 --> 00:22:44.839
a deep breath and blew it out
slowly. His eyes wandered to the window

277
00:22:44.880 --> 00:22:49.480
beside us. Rain was falling at
a steady pace. Outside. Derek wasn't

278
00:22:49.519 --> 00:22:52.680
fond of rain, but I,
on the other hand, am a complete

279
00:22:52.680 --> 00:22:59.559
cluvial file. Remember that time we
all decided to canoe the Saint Croix and

280
00:22:59.599 --> 00:23:03.240
we got all the way down to
Hinckley before we realized we didn't have a

281
00:23:03.240 --> 00:23:07.680
way to get back to our vehicles. It was a diversion, but at

282
00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:11.920
least he was talking, and we
had to call Grandpa and Granddaddy to drive

283
00:23:12.039 --> 00:23:18.000
up and get us. He was
laughing now it sounded nice, and then

284
00:23:18.039 --> 00:23:22.119
it started raining before they got there. We had to turn the canoes over

285
00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:26.119
and huddle under them for shelter.
We should have stayed at the gas station

286
00:23:26.200 --> 00:23:30.400
and had them pick us up there, I said, smiling back at him,

287
00:23:30.039 --> 00:23:34.599
or we could have paddled back upstream
like I wanted to, and poor

288
00:23:34.680 --> 00:23:38.319
Ben. We had to make him
wait there with our canoes while we walked

289
00:23:38.319 --> 00:23:41.799
to a phone booth. And then
we got back and he was throwing a

290
00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:48.359
fit about somebody tossing rocks at him. Derek grew silent again as realization dawned

291
00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:53.839
across his face. Tell me your
story, Derek, I said again.

292
00:23:55.920 --> 00:23:59.119
We had to wait in silence for
a minute while our server, with his

293
00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:03.000
unbearable himing, placed a plate of
eggs and bacon, and I played a

294
00:24:03.079 --> 00:24:06.920
biscuits and gravy, and I played
of pancakes in front of Derek, and

295
00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:11.559
a bowl of fruit and gorilla topped
with yogurt in front of me. You're

296
00:24:11.559 --> 00:24:15.119
gonna starve to death eating like that, he chatted. And you're gonna get

297
00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:21.400
old and fat eating like that,
I retaliated. It was a familiar banter

298
00:24:21.599 --> 00:24:26.440
that helped us both relax. Derek
shoved a piece of bacon in his mouth

299
00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:30.799
and he grinned, at least I'll
get old, and then, without further

300
00:24:30.880 --> 00:24:36.279
prodding, he began It's been going
on for so long, to be honest,

301
00:24:36.359 --> 00:24:38.920
that I can't put a start date
on it. I think I've known

302
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:45.200
since high school, maybe earlier,
that something wasn't right in our woods.

303
00:24:45.240 --> 00:24:48.640
Something isn't right in any of the
woods around there, you know how.

304
00:24:48.680 --> 00:24:52.279
Grandaddy never let us hunt alone in
the woods, but used to slip in

305
00:24:52.319 --> 00:24:56.799
there, and when we didn't know, I was sure there must be some

306
00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:00.559
trophy buck roaming around in there,
and I was just as sure as I

307
00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:03.160
was going to be the one to
bring it in. And I honestly don't

308
00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:07.799
know what I would have said to
Granddaddy if I had. There were times

309
00:25:07.839 --> 00:25:12.880
in those woods when I seriously felt
like I was being stalk For the longest

310
00:25:12.920 --> 00:25:18.400
time, I thought it was Granddaddy. I kept expecting him to mention it

311
00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:22.880
in the middle of some family dinner, but he never did, and after

312
00:25:22.920 --> 00:25:26.880
a while I convinced myself that it
wasn't him. But for the life of

313
00:25:26.960 --> 00:25:30.359
me, I couldn't figure out who
or what it might have been. It

314
00:25:30.400 --> 00:25:36.200
was always the same. I'd be
walking and everything would go sila, like

315
00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:41.279
a predator was close by, and
then I'd hear footsteps around me, not

316
00:25:41.480 --> 00:25:45.480
stop and look around, but I
never could see anything. It was always

317
00:25:45.519 --> 00:25:49.000
so damn quiet. No birds,
no squirrels, no insects, nothing.

318
00:25:49.480 --> 00:25:55.559
And then I'd start walking again and
I'd hear footsteps again. Sometimes a stick

319
00:25:55.640 --> 00:25:59.319
or a rock would get chucked at
me, and that was always when I'd

320
00:25:59.319 --> 00:26:03.839
get too and I'd walk out.
But whatever was out there always walked out

321
00:26:03.880 --> 00:26:07.119
with me. But when i'd get
to the road, it never came out

322
00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:11.079
of the woods with me. Or
if I was down the river, and

323
00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:15.839
once I crossed it, it would
stop following. I guess that started all

324
00:26:15.880 --> 00:26:18.839
the way back in high school.
But I can promise you there are times

325
00:26:18.880 --> 00:26:23.960
even today when I go into those
woods that I feel something is watching me,

326
00:26:25.079 --> 00:26:30.240
something doesn't want me there, and
something is chasing me out where You're

327
00:26:30.359 --> 00:26:36.079
lucky there, Derek, I said, those were probably the Sasquatches. He

328
00:26:36.240 --> 00:26:40.920
leaned in suddenly and he said,
do you believe in Bigfoot? I thought

329
00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:45.599
it was a ridiculous question. Of
course, I believe in Bigfoot. I've

330
00:26:45.640 --> 00:26:49.680
read all of grandfather's journals, and
I've had countless conversations with my father about

331
00:26:49.720 --> 00:26:55.920
the behavior he'd witnessed and the signs
he'd recorded. Although I didn't see a

332
00:26:56.000 --> 00:27:00.319
bigfoot in the woods that cold winter
day. What I did see told me

333
00:27:00.440 --> 00:27:04.559
that if they can't exist, then
sure as hell a bigfoot can. As

334
00:27:04.640 --> 00:27:10.000
quickly as he leaned in, Derek
withdrew, he didn't wait for my answer.

335
00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:14.559
It wasn't a sasquatch or a bigfoot
that I saw last spring, he

336
00:27:14.599 --> 00:27:18.359
said. I was turkey hunting,
and there was a big time that I'd

337
00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:22.200
been watching. I couldn't believe my
luck when I managed to call him in

338
00:27:22.279 --> 00:27:26.440
on that first day. God,
it was frustrating watching him duck in and

339
00:27:26.519 --> 00:27:30.160
out of the brush. I was
waiting for a clear shot. He'd stepped

340
00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:34.319
behind the bush, and there was
a sudden movement and feathers went everywhere,

341
00:27:34.319 --> 00:27:40.960
and the damn thing was gone.
It was just gone. Derek's face mirrored

342
00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:45.720
his astonishment as his hands came up
to wipe the air like a giant eraser.

343
00:27:45.599 --> 00:27:49.359
I was so shocked that I think
I must have yelled or something.

344
00:27:49.880 --> 00:27:52.319
And the next thing I knew,
I was looking at the crown of a

345
00:27:52.359 --> 00:27:57.599
head sticking up from behind the bushes. It kept standing until its eyes were

346
00:27:57.720 --> 00:28:03.880
visible. The color drained out of
Derek's face at the thought of what he'd

347
00:28:03.880 --> 00:28:08.240
seen that day. Those eyes were
like two coals of fire, staring right

348
00:28:08.279 --> 00:28:11.599
into me. He looked at me
as if he were waiting for me to

349
00:28:11.720 --> 00:28:17.319
argue with him. But how could
I when I remembered so well that horrible

350
00:28:17.359 --> 00:28:22.000
feeling when a pair of similar eyes
pinned me from an impossible distance away,

351
00:28:22.279 --> 00:28:29.480
And he continued and its teeth,
its canines were massive. I could see

352
00:28:29.480 --> 00:28:33.640
the fear washing over him at the
memory. Those bushes had to be at

353
00:28:33.720 --> 00:28:37.279
least as tall as me, at
least six feet, But when it rose

354
00:28:37.400 --> 00:28:40.720
up, I knew it had to
be well over that I was down on

355
00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:44.039
the ground looking up, but I
could still see its head over the bushes.

356
00:28:45.400 --> 00:28:49.200
Derec was beginning to tremble. His
face glistened with sweat as his skin

357
00:28:49.359 --> 00:28:55.319
paled to a waxy white, and
tears welled up in his eyes. I

358
00:28:55.359 --> 00:28:59.599
sat silently while he pulled himself back
together, and he took a bite of

359
00:28:59.599 --> 00:29:03.680
food chewed it with his thoughts.
I began to wonder again if he'd forgotten

360
00:29:03.720 --> 00:29:07.759
I was there, And then he
looked up and abruptly asked, why did

361
00:29:07.839 --> 00:29:12.920
you leave so suddenly after Granddaddy's funeral? Well, that caught me off guard.

362
00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:17.960
Something happened, didn't it. I
mean, that day, after you

363
00:29:18.079 --> 00:29:22.079
heard those howls, and after you
found the note books, after you saw

364
00:29:22.119 --> 00:29:26.720
it kill the rabbit, something else
happened, didn't it. It was like

365
00:29:26.759 --> 00:29:32.240
a strange game of live chess we
were playing. The white queen would question,

366
00:29:32.319 --> 00:29:36.400
in the black night would withdraw,
The black rook would speak, and

367
00:29:36.440 --> 00:29:41.079
the white bishop would counter. I
could almost hear a distant, primordial trum

368
00:29:41.160 --> 00:29:45.839
beat keeping time, or maybe it
was my heart. Yes, something happened.

369
00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:51.480
He held his breath as I told
him how my dad had taken me

370
00:29:51.559 --> 00:29:53.640
down in the woods to show me
the signs of the dog men, and

371
00:29:53.799 --> 00:29:59.839
possibly to look for an indication that
the big Foot were returning. If they

372
00:30:00.039 --> 00:30:03.039
were coming back, he'd said,
then the dog men wouldn't be leaving again

373
00:30:03.160 --> 00:30:08.759
until late fall. And then we
were attacked. Attacked, he cried,

374
00:30:10.279 --> 00:30:15.160
you were attacked, Yeah, I
assured him. We parked his truck on

375
00:30:15.240 --> 00:30:19.279
the river and were walking the farm
road up to Granddaddy's house when we were

376
00:30:19.279 --> 00:30:25.039
suddenly surrounded by them. Well,
I marveled at how calm I managed to

377
00:30:25.119 --> 00:30:30.920
sound. I wasn't feeling it.
Visions of Juliana and the rabbit were racing

378
00:30:30.920 --> 00:30:34.200
through my mind, and now they
were accompanied by the sounds of grass and

379
00:30:34.359 --> 00:30:41.400
dead leaves and crystallized patches of snow
being crushed under massive paws. Well,

380
00:30:41.400 --> 00:30:45.079
how did you get away? He
cried, causing a disapproving stare from some

381
00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:52.960
nearby diners. That was one question
I wasn't certain how to answer, how

382
00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:57.400
did I get away? The better
question was who followed me out? My

383
00:30:57.480 --> 00:31:02.400
father had insisted that he was never
with me, and as soon as he

384
00:31:02.519 --> 00:31:06.240
was certain that those creatures weren't going
to follow me, he turned the other

385
00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:10.640
way. He had chosen to die
rather than to let them get me.

386
00:31:11.240 --> 00:31:15.680
But I know there was someone or
something behind me. I heard footsteps,

387
00:31:15.119 --> 00:31:21.240
I heard him breathing, I felt
his presence. And yet I know when

388
00:31:21.279 --> 00:31:25.440
I turned around at the door,
the barnyard was empty. If it wasn't

389
00:31:25.480 --> 00:31:29.720
my father, who could have disappeared
like that? If it had been a

390
00:31:29.799 --> 00:31:33.519
dog man, would I still be
alive to tell the tale? Over the

391
00:31:33.599 --> 00:31:37.799
years, I've entertained the idea that
it was the ghost of my grandfather seeing

392
00:31:37.839 --> 00:31:44.319
me to safety, or perhaps it
was a sasquatch. My father was fond

393
00:31:44.359 --> 00:31:48.839
of saying that they had rules.
Stay out of their territory, and don't

394
00:31:48.839 --> 00:31:52.720
interrupt a hunting expedition. Announce your
presence when you enter the woods if you

395
00:31:52.759 --> 00:31:56.799
think they're around, and if you
hear tree knocks or get something thrown at,

396
00:31:56.839 --> 00:32:02.359
you walk calmly and to liberately away. Maybe they felt that the dog

397
00:32:02.400 --> 00:32:07.759
men were breaking the rules, and
their retaliation was to prevent them from turning

398
00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:12.519
me into a meal. Dad said, they always returned in late winter or

399
00:32:12.519 --> 00:32:17.680
early spring. Wait, this time
it was me who drew the disapproving stairs

400
00:32:17.680 --> 00:32:23.480
from the other customers. What Derek
yelled back? People were staring openly.

401
00:32:23.559 --> 00:32:28.640
Now we must have looked like a
couple of looning tunes, yelling back and

402
00:32:28.680 --> 00:32:31.880
forth at each other and jumping at
every word. I might have laughed if

403
00:32:31.920 --> 00:32:37.359
not for the sudden realization that Derek's
story didn't make sense. It didn't follow

404
00:32:37.400 --> 00:32:43.599
the rules. Did you say you
were turkey hunting? I asked, Yeah,

405
00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:47.359
what about it? Spring? Turkey
season? Isn't it end like April?

406
00:32:49.240 --> 00:32:52.440
It was the last week in April. Why. Having never read the

407
00:32:52.519 --> 00:32:57.799
journals and not realizing that his grandfather
was as close to an expert on the

408
00:32:57.880 --> 00:33:01.960
subject as a man could be Derek
couldn't have known that by April the dog

409
00:33:02.039 --> 00:33:07.079
men should have been gone, or
that they shouldn't be coming back until the

410
00:33:07.200 --> 00:33:12.240
end of summer. Did it look
like a dog, I asked, were

411
00:33:12.279 --> 00:33:16.519
not exactly? It looked almost like
I don't know, it was really dog

412
00:33:16.640 --> 00:33:21.400
like. It was more like a
mandrel, you know, one of those

413
00:33:21.440 --> 00:33:24.480
big monkeys with the weird red nose
and white Did it have ears? I

414
00:33:24.559 --> 00:33:31.799
interrupted, what I guess, so
I don't really remember they weren't obvious.

415
00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:37.400
No, I guess not confused by
by obsession with the ears. Derek finally

416
00:33:37.480 --> 00:33:43.839
ask what difference does it make?
It makes all the difference in the world,

417
00:33:44.119 --> 00:33:49.680
I said. Dog Men generally look
like well dogs. I mean,

418
00:33:49.920 --> 00:33:53.440
I've read a few instances where people
thought they might look like they're hyenas,

419
00:33:53.440 --> 00:33:59.000
but for the most part, they
have a canine appearance. I thought you

420
00:33:59.039 --> 00:34:01.759
were describing a dog man. But
it's the wrong time a year, Derek,

421
00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:07.359
and all of Granddaddy's journals and everything
Dad has told me. The dog

422
00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:12.119
men leave the area sometime in late
winter or early spring, and they don't

423
00:34:12.159 --> 00:34:15.440
come back until the Bigfoot leave at
the end of the summer or the beginning

424
00:34:15.480 --> 00:34:20.880
of the fall. Julianna was killed
in mid September. Right, I pointed

425
00:34:20.920 --> 00:34:23.840
out, well, he nodded,
well, that means the Bigfoot had already

426
00:34:23.880 --> 00:34:29.880
moved on. Granddaddy and Dad had
a theory that these things are all migratory.

427
00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:34.239
They kept records of what they saw
and when they saw them. I

428
00:34:34.360 --> 00:34:38.199
suspected I was speaking too quickly for
Derek to take it all in. Come

429
00:34:38.239 --> 00:34:42.920
on, we need to go back
to my place. I'm not saying.

430
00:34:43.079 --> 00:34:46.480
It wasn't dog like he was saying. As I jumped up and signaled to

431
00:34:46.559 --> 00:34:52.440
our waiter. I was already throwing
cash on the table when he arrived.

432
00:34:52.280 --> 00:34:57.840
Derek shot a mournful glance at his
barely touched food and following me out the

433
00:34:57.880 --> 00:35:01.519
door. I was trying not to
run the two blocks back to my apartment

434
00:35:01.559 --> 00:35:05.639
in the rain. It was uphill
all the way, and I could hear

435
00:35:05.719 --> 00:35:09.559
Derek huffing behind me. Too many
biscuit and gravy breakfasts, I muttered,

436
00:35:10.039 --> 00:35:16.239
slowed down, he yelled, and
I ignored him. At my apartment,

437
00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:21.079
I had to stop and dig my
key out of my pocket, and then

438
00:35:21.119 --> 00:35:24.480
I fumbled it and I dropped it
and it bounced off the cement stooping into

439
00:35:24.480 --> 00:35:29.599
the mud. We both had to
crawl around on our knees and the shrubs

440
00:35:29.639 --> 00:35:34.159
to find it. Unfortunately, we
were already so wet that it didn't matter.

441
00:35:35.400 --> 00:35:37.599
At my apartment door, Derek ll
wrenched the key from my hand and

442
00:35:37.719 --> 00:35:42.559
opened it for me with a look
of disdain. He wasn't about to let

443
00:35:42.599 --> 00:35:46.719
me drop up another key. I
led the way across the living room to

444
00:35:46.760 --> 00:35:52.400
a set of French doors that opened
into a small glassed in sunroom that I

445
00:35:52.440 --> 00:35:57.840
had turned into my office. Fall
semester had just begun, and I already

446
00:35:57.920 --> 00:36:01.440
had a stack of papers to grate. I pushed them aside and pulled a

447
00:36:01.480 --> 00:36:07.159
small chair from the corner over so
that Derec could sit beside me, and

448
00:36:07.239 --> 00:36:10.079
then I reached into the bottom drawer
of my desk and withdrew a large d

449
00:36:10.280 --> 00:36:16.239
ring binder. It was full of
notebook paper and sheet covers filled with type

450
00:36:16.239 --> 00:36:22.679
pages or diagrams in them, and
several drawings. Sections were separated by tab

451
00:36:22.800 --> 00:36:28.519
sheets, all of which had seen
better days. I opened the binder and

452
00:36:28.639 --> 00:36:31.400
began to flip through it tab by
tab until I reached the section I was

453
00:36:31.480 --> 00:36:37.719
looking for the first page of that
section was a heading sheet that read descriptions

454
00:36:37.760 --> 00:36:44.360
and depictions. I turned to the
second page. It had only one word,

455
00:36:44.440 --> 00:36:51.440
typed in three inch tall capital letters, Bigfoot. The next page was

456
00:36:51.480 --> 00:36:57.159
a type description copied from my grandfather's
journal, and below it was another description

457
00:36:57.239 --> 00:37:01.559
that my own father had given me
via the telephone. The next page listed

458
00:37:01.599 --> 00:37:07.199
a variety of descriptions pull from the
books of those brave enough to put into

459
00:37:07.239 --> 00:37:12.920
print their belief in a creature assumed
to be mythical by the general population.

460
00:37:14.159 --> 00:37:17.239
I turned the page again to stare
into the first of a dozen or so

461
00:37:17.480 --> 00:37:23.920
artists renditions of the big hairy beast. What you saw, I asked Derek,

462
00:37:24.280 --> 00:37:29.559
as Calypso jumped into my lap.
Did it look like any of these?

463
00:37:30.960 --> 00:37:35.599
He was already shaking his head before
he even began to look on page

464
00:37:35.679 --> 00:37:37.800
by page. He looked at the
drawings and then he shook his head.

465
00:37:37.920 --> 00:37:44.320
No, I told you, it
wasn't a bigfoot that I saw. The

466
00:37:44.440 --> 00:37:49.840
next page said dog man, where
the first had said Bigfoot. What about

467
00:37:49.920 --> 00:37:53.119
these, I asked, turning the
pages with the dog man drawings on them.

468
00:37:54.440 --> 00:38:00.320
Derek took his time looking through these
pictures. Included in them were rows

469
00:38:00.360 --> 00:38:05.400
of werewolves by artists like Frank Frazetta. But I didn't mention that to Derek.

470
00:38:06.400 --> 00:38:09.119
He studied each image and shook his
head and then turned the page.

471
00:38:10.360 --> 00:38:15.599
I skipped over the next several pages. There were all creatures that my father

472
00:38:15.719 --> 00:38:20.199
and grandfather believed to exist in the
woods and along the river banks around the

473
00:38:20.280 --> 00:38:23.760
farm, but I highly doubted any
of them would be what Derek had seen.

474
00:38:24.760 --> 00:38:30.199
They included creatures like pugwadgees they were
easily eliminated by the mere fact that

475
00:38:30.280 --> 00:38:36.199
they stood only three feet tall,
and ghost and demons that I dismissed for

476
00:38:36.320 --> 00:38:40.840
a variety of reasons. And finally
I got to the last section. It

477
00:38:40.880 --> 00:38:47.320
was labeled unclassified. There I flipped
to the drawing and Derek drew in his

478
00:38:47.519 --> 00:38:53.480
breath. That's it, he cried, That's exactly what I saw. My

479
00:38:53.599 --> 00:39:00.840
heart fell into my stomach. Derek
had identified a Gugui Gugwi. He asked,

480
00:39:00.880 --> 00:39:06.480
reading the name under the drawing,
what does that mean? It means

481
00:39:06.519 --> 00:39:09.639
face eater, I said, and
you, my dear nephew, may be

482
00:39:09.760 --> 00:39:15.239
the only man ever to have gotten
that close to one and lived. Derek

483
00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:21.039
lifted several pages of the binder at
the top corner and let them slide over

484
00:39:21.119 --> 00:39:25.920
his thumb back into place. What
is all this? He asked, dumbfounded.

485
00:39:27.159 --> 00:39:30.599
I couldn't answer him. Did he
not understand that he had been face

486
00:39:30.719 --> 00:39:37.119
to face with something even more terrifying
than a dog man? Had he failed

487
00:39:37.159 --> 00:39:42.239
to see exactly how close his life
had come to being over? His face

488
00:39:42.599 --> 00:39:47.440
registered no shock, His manner betrayed
no level of concern. He did nothing

489
00:39:47.559 --> 00:39:52.639
more than sit there and stare at
the pages. I reasoned that perhaps he

490
00:39:52.719 --> 00:39:59.199
was emotionally incapable of dealing with the
magnitude of the situation, or maybe he'd

491
00:39:59.199 --> 00:40:05.440
simply lost his ever loving mind.
Shadow What are these? His voice brought

492
00:40:05.480 --> 00:40:09.079
me back to the moment. I
had to gather myself before I could speak,

493
00:40:09.559 --> 00:40:15.920
and finally I managed to explain the
binder. Shortly after I got home

494
00:40:15.960 --> 00:40:20.639
from Granddaddy's funeral, Dad sent the
journals to me. I've had them for

495
00:40:21.519 --> 00:40:25.679
I stopped, and I calculated the
time that had passed thirteen and a half

496
00:40:25.760 --> 00:40:31.320
years. I guess At first,
I kept reading them over and over again.

497
00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:36.280
I guess I thought I was going
to memorize them, and then I

498
00:40:36.360 --> 00:40:40.519
realized the information in them needed to
be sorted and categorized. That's when I

499
00:40:40.599 --> 00:40:45.000
started making this binder. Well,
what are all these other things in here?

500
00:40:45.239 --> 00:40:50.639
He asked, flipping back to the
pages showing creatures that he'd probably never

501
00:40:50.679 --> 00:40:54.679
heard of. At one time or
another, either Granddaddy or Dad had seen

502
00:40:54.760 --> 00:40:59.239
all of these creatures, and most
of them they didn't have a name.

503
00:40:59.320 --> 00:41:02.000
For the ones that Dad saw,
I was able to work with him to

504
00:41:02.079 --> 00:41:08.039
identify some only Granddaddy saw. So
they're not much more than an educated guest.

505
00:41:08.840 --> 00:41:14.519
I actually have this to thank for
my livelihood, what Derek asked.

506
00:41:14.760 --> 00:41:19.440
How do you mean When I came
back here, I had resigned myself to

507
00:41:19.480 --> 00:41:23.280
a life of bartending and waitressing.
Jobs weren't hard to come by and the

508
00:41:23.320 --> 00:41:29.360
tips were good. But then those
journals arrived. I was so obsessed with

509
00:41:29.400 --> 00:41:32.159
them. I spent every minute that
I could at the library, were searching

510
00:41:32.280 --> 00:41:37.599
and reading and learning. While I
was sitting at a coffee house pouring over

511
00:41:37.679 --> 00:41:39.679
one of those books, when a
man approached me and asked if I was

512
00:41:39.800 --> 00:41:45.400
enjoying his book. Derek's browse shot
up and I laughed, Yeah, he

513
00:41:45.559 --> 00:41:50.039
was the author of the book that
I was reading. So we got into

514
00:41:50.039 --> 00:41:52.840
a deep conversation on the subject,
and though I wouldn't tell him why I

515
00:41:52.880 --> 00:41:58.719
was so fascinated, he was impressed
by how much I knew and suggested that

516
00:41:58.800 --> 00:42:04.719
I consider it as a profession.
I had no idea people actually made mythological

517
00:42:04.800 --> 00:42:09.239
studies of profession. But here I
am today. Wow, Derek whispered in

518
00:42:09.320 --> 00:42:15.960
amazement. I had no idea,
Derek, how did you get away?

519
00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:21.920
I asked. The question was burning
holes in my brain. If he decided

520
00:42:21.960 --> 00:42:24.599
to dance around the subject, I
might have picked up that binder and smacked

521
00:42:24.639 --> 00:42:29.519
him over the head with it.
But instead he gave me an answer so

522
00:42:29.559 --> 00:42:36.639
simple that it didn't make sense.
Something tried to steal its food. Okay,

523
00:42:36.679 --> 00:42:39.480
we have to stop this hole staring
at each other in disbelief. Nonsense,

524
00:42:39.679 --> 00:42:45.320
I said, even as I stared
at him in disbelief. Straight talk

525
00:42:45.440 --> 00:42:47.880
from here on out. Okay,
all right, that's a deal, he

526
00:42:49.000 --> 00:42:53.000
said. Then explain to me how
something tried to steal you. I said,

527
00:42:53.800 --> 00:42:59.039
no, no, not me,
the turkey. Two seconds and I

528
00:42:59.079 --> 00:43:02.679
was already staring in disbelief again.
It took that time, I was after

529
00:43:02.920 --> 00:43:08.159
remember, he said, Oh,
oh, of course. The disbelief faded

530
00:43:08.199 --> 00:43:14.119
away. Something tried to take it
from him. I was sitting there on

531
00:43:14.159 --> 00:43:19.199
the ground, staring up at that
thing, and it was staring down at

532
00:43:19.239 --> 00:43:22.119
me, and I knew I was
gonna die. I can't explain how,

533
00:43:22.199 --> 00:43:27.320
but I knew I was gonna die. It's like when a person bleeds out,

534
00:43:27.360 --> 00:43:30.960
except it wasn't blood being drained from
my body. It was hope.

535
00:43:31.719 --> 00:43:35.400
It took a step toward me,
and I thought, well, this is

536
00:43:35.440 --> 00:43:38.719
it. And then I heard this
sound like something crashing through the brush.

537
00:43:38.760 --> 00:43:44.880
And it turned around and I heard
growls and snarling like nothing I'd ever heard

538
00:43:44.920 --> 00:43:50.280
before. Trees were breaking, and
body sounded like they were being thrown around,

539
00:43:50.679 --> 00:43:52.639
and something in the back of my
head screamed at me to run,

540
00:43:53.079 --> 00:43:57.639
so I ran. I turned,
and I ran out of there faster than

541
00:43:57.679 --> 00:44:01.039
I've ever run before in my life. I had parked my truck on the

542
00:44:01.039 --> 00:44:05.239
other side of the river, but
I didn't wait to get to the rock

543
00:44:05.320 --> 00:44:09.559
path across it. I splashed into
that cold water, gilly poncho and all.

544
00:44:09.639 --> 00:44:14.559
And I waited across. I figured
I was either going to be torn

545
00:44:14.599 --> 00:44:17.840
apart by that thing he jetted his
finger at the picture and the binder,

546
00:44:19.559 --> 00:44:23.320
or be pulled under by my poncho. Drowning seemed like a better option.

547
00:44:24.159 --> 00:44:29.079
Well, thank god I chose a
fairly shallow spot to cross. We had

548
00:44:29.119 --> 00:44:32.599
a lot of rain last spring.
I really could have drowned. I drove

549
00:44:32.639 --> 00:44:37.480
out of there like a lunatic,
and I haven't been back since. It

550
00:44:37.559 --> 00:44:43.519
took all the desire to hunt right
out of me. Why did you think

551
00:44:43.679 --> 00:44:47.119
it was trying to steal its food? I don't know. It was just

552
00:44:47.159 --> 00:44:52.920
the impression I got, He said, Did you see what it was fighting?

553
00:44:52.199 --> 00:44:57.119
I asked, Well, Derek thought
for a minute and then said,

554
00:44:57.440 --> 00:45:01.960
no. I imagine it was a
dog man or Bigfoot. Bigfoot maybe,

555
00:45:02.119 --> 00:45:06.880
I answered, as I flipped through
the pages of the binder to a sheet

556
00:45:06.920 --> 00:45:12.239
that folded out. It was a
line graph showing the active seasons for each

557
00:45:12.239 --> 00:45:16.800
of the creatures. Dog Men would
have been gone by then. Derek ran

558
00:45:16.880 --> 00:45:22.440
his finger across the graph, examining
the rising and dipping lines, and they're

559
00:45:22.519 --> 00:45:28.880
coordinating dates. He traced the red
line indicating dogman activity, and then went

560
00:45:28.920 --> 00:45:32.320
to the blue line for Bigfoot,
And after that he ran his finger down

561
00:45:32.360 --> 00:45:37.760
the left hand column looking for the
word gugui. Where's the gugwi? Line,

562
00:45:37.800 --> 00:45:42.880
he asked when he didn't find it, it's not on there. I

563
00:45:43.039 --> 00:45:46.679
told him they don't have a season. The only way I can tell based

564
00:45:46.719 --> 00:45:52.199
on Granddaddy's notes and what Dad says. The only way to tell if they're

565
00:45:52.199 --> 00:45:55.760
in the area is lack of signs
from anything else. Even the Bigfoot and

566
00:45:55.800 --> 00:46:00.119
dog Man are afraid of these things, and they're not afraid of anything.

567
00:46:00.440 --> 00:46:07.119
Derek added, gunfire, I corrected. You can sometimes chase them away with

568
00:46:07.239 --> 00:46:13.360
gunfire. Derek spent the rest of
the morning studying the binder in journals.

569
00:46:13.960 --> 00:46:16.079
I gave him a notebook so he
could take some of his own notes.

570
00:46:17.119 --> 00:46:21.480
Once I was sure that church was
out and my parents were back home,

571
00:46:21.880 --> 00:46:25.960
I excused myself to go feed the
cats from the other room. I called

572
00:46:27.000 --> 00:46:30.119
him, my dad, and I
told him everything. It came as no

573
00:46:30.239 --> 00:46:32.400
surprise that he was angry, but
I thought it would be better to tell

574
00:46:32.480 --> 00:46:37.760
him over the phone while Derek was
four hundred miles away from him. It

575
00:46:37.760 --> 00:46:43.360
would give him time to calm down
before he killed him. That afternoon,

576
00:46:43.519 --> 00:46:47.679
Derek headed back to Willard Springs a
wiser man. He promised to call and

577
00:46:47.800 --> 00:46:52.280
let me know if he survived his
grandfather's fury. Now that my father had

578
00:46:52.320 --> 00:46:57.880
a new co conspirator, one who
was on site, I felt a great

579
00:46:57.960 --> 00:47:02.599
weight lifted off my heart. I
wasn't completely at ease. My mother's health

580
00:47:02.760 --> 00:47:07.559
was failing fast. I knew it
was a matter of time before I'd have

581
00:47:07.639 --> 00:47:13.400
to make the long drive back home. That was Sunday, September nine,

582
00:47:13.519 --> 00:47:17.760
two thousand and one. Two days
later, the world would change and all

583
00:47:17.840 --> 00:47:23.400
thoughts of bigfoot, dog men and
gugwi were replaced with the thoughts of terrorism,

584
00:47:23.719 --> 00:47:30.880
war and retribution. I didn't speak
to Derec again until October. I

585
00:47:30.920 --> 00:47:36.880
went to church on Sunday, October
seven, two thousand and one. I've

586
00:47:36.880 --> 00:47:40.960
never been a devoted churchgoer. I
read my Bible and I pray a lot,

587
00:47:42.079 --> 00:47:45.960
but getting up on Sunday morning and
putting on an ice dress and then

588
00:47:45.079 --> 00:47:51.159
driving halfway across the town to the
Baptist church of my choice had always seemed

589
00:47:51.159 --> 00:47:54.119
to take a back seat to finishing
the stack of papers on my desk that

590
00:47:54.239 --> 00:48:01.880
had to be graded. That was
before September eleventh. Sunday, October seventh

591
00:48:01.960 --> 00:48:07.639
stands out in my memory for two
reasons. That was the day that George

592
00:48:07.800 --> 00:48:13.519
W. Bush announced that we had
begun military action against al Qaeda. It

593
00:48:13.679 --> 00:48:16.679
came over the radio as I was
driving home after stopping for a bite to

594
00:48:16.760 --> 00:48:23.480
eat, and every house I passed
was flying an American flag. Grocery stores

595
00:48:23.559 --> 00:48:30.039
had American symbolism painted all over the
front windows. I had a few students

596
00:48:30.039 --> 00:48:35.119
who decided to quit school and join
the military. A couple of them eventually

597
00:48:35.159 --> 00:48:39.880
came home in caskets draped in those
American flags. We were a proud country

598
00:48:39.920 --> 00:48:45.920
at that moment. Race, gender, religious beliefs, and most of all

599
00:48:45.199 --> 00:48:52.639
political affiliation were of no importance.
Being an American was the order of the

600
00:48:52.760 --> 00:48:59.440
day, the only order of the
day. My second reason for remembering October

601
00:48:59.559 --> 00:49:02.639
seventh, two thousand and one was
the phone ringing when I got home.

602
00:49:04.360 --> 00:49:07.960
I knew it was my father.
I had only recently begun carrying a cell

603
00:49:08.000 --> 00:49:13.960
phone and was reluctant to give the
number out to anyone. My parents had

604
00:49:14.000 --> 00:49:16.960
it, of course, but they
were old fashioned, and I wabbled across

605
00:49:16.960 --> 00:49:22.360
the room under the onslaught of two
giant balls of fur who seemed intent on

606
00:49:22.480 --> 00:49:25.760
tripping me in their need to say
Hello, I'm here. Don't hang up,

607
00:49:25.880 --> 00:49:30.320
I cried, into the receiver.
When I finally got to the phone,

608
00:49:30.039 --> 00:49:36.039
you need to come home now,
is she I couldn't bring myself to

609
00:49:36.039 --> 00:49:39.719
say the words. She's still with
us, but I can't promise she will

610
00:49:39.760 --> 00:49:45.719
be for more than another day or
so. So hurry put her on the

611
00:49:45.760 --> 00:49:49.239
phone, dad, I need to
hear her voice. My own voice was

612
00:49:49.280 --> 00:49:52.280
shaking. Now, oh, baby, she won't just do it, please

613
00:49:52.400 --> 00:49:57.440
Dad. There was a sigh on
the other end of the phone and the

614
00:49:57.480 --> 00:50:01.400
sound of the receiver being placed on
the table. A few minutes later,

615
00:50:01.480 --> 00:50:06.719
I heard the extension being picked up
in the bedroom and my father's voice in

616
00:50:06.760 --> 00:50:12.159
the background, saying, she's on
the phone now, Mom, I said,

617
00:50:12.599 --> 00:50:16.920
trying hard not to let her hear
my tears. Shadow. I will

618
00:50:16.960 --> 00:50:22.880
never forget her voice that day.
It was so weak, so unlike my

619
00:50:22.960 --> 00:50:28.079
mother's voice. My heart shattered in
my chest. I love you, Mom,

620
00:50:28.320 --> 00:50:31.719
I choked out. I love you
too, Shadow, she whispered.

621
00:50:32.559 --> 00:50:37.639
There was a moment of silence.
I didn't know what else to say.

622
00:50:37.920 --> 00:50:42.440
I was terrified that my father would
pull the phone away from her, even

623
00:50:42.440 --> 00:50:45.800
if it was only to hear her
breathe. I didn't want to let go.

624
00:50:45.719 --> 00:50:51.599
And then she said I know,
baby, I know. Hold on,

625
00:50:51.760 --> 00:50:55.239
mom, I croaked this time.
I was completely incapable of stopping the

626
00:50:55.280 --> 00:51:00.559
tears. I'm coming home, I
know, baby, she repeated, I

627
00:51:00.719 --> 00:51:06.800
know. A second later, my
dad's voice came back over the receiver.

628
00:51:07.559 --> 00:51:12.000
He said, she's asleep. Now, Shadow, now hurry home. I'm

629
00:51:12.039 --> 00:51:15.400
on my way Dad. I'll be
there as soon as I can. I

630
00:51:15.519 --> 00:51:20.840
hung up the phone and called my
department head. We knew this was coming,

631
00:51:20.960 --> 00:51:23.480
so we already had a plan.
I had only to let her know

632
00:51:23.599 --> 00:51:29.760
that it was time. An adjunct
was prepared to step in and cover my

633
00:51:29.840 --> 00:51:35.760
classes for the next two weeks if
necessary, and Doctor Witherspoon offered her condolences

634
00:51:35.760 --> 00:51:39.599
and wished me a safe trip.
My next call was to Brad, and

635
00:51:39.679 --> 00:51:44.840
he owned the bar where I called
myself a bartender for the last time before

636
00:51:44.920 --> 00:51:47.880
going to work at the college.
A single parent with a young daughter,

637
00:51:49.199 --> 00:51:52.400
he'd often depended on me to watch
her on the nights when I wasn't scheduled.

638
00:51:53.440 --> 00:51:58.199
Peyton loved my cats, and whenever
I had to go away, I

639
00:51:58.199 --> 00:52:01.079
could always depend on Brad and Peyton
to come and take care of them for

640
00:52:01.159 --> 00:52:06.760
me. And then I went into
the bedroom and I packed. An hour

641
00:52:06.880 --> 00:52:08.719
later, I had dropped my spare
keys at the bar, and I was

642
00:52:08.800 --> 00:52:15.199
driving north to Willard Springs. The
last time I had driven home it was

643
00:52:15.239 --> 00:52:21.480
in my old nineteen seventy seven International
Scout too. I loved that old truck.

644
00:52:22.039 --> 00:52:24.840
She was ugly as hell, but
she was mine. She died up

645
00:52:24.840 --> 00:52:30.920
there, so I came home and
my grandfather's four truck. I was determined

646
00:52:30.960 --> 00:52:35.079
to take better care of it than
I did the Scout. As a result,

647
00:52:35.280 --> 00:52:37.679
it lasted right up until the turn
of the century, when I finally

648
00:52:37.719 --> 00:52:43.119
broke down and bought a brand new
one, the first brand new vehicle I

649
00:52:43.239 --> 00:52:47.719
ever owned, for my thirty sixth
birthday. Now, as I drove,

650
00:52:47.800 --> 00:52:53.039
I struggled with the overwhelming fear.
I couldn't let it stop me. I

651
00:52:53.119 --> 00:52:57.559
had to get there. I had
to see my mom one last time.

652
00:52:59.559 --> 00:53:04.400
I'ved at Mom and Dad's a little
before eleven PM that night. It hadn't

653
00:53:04.440 --> 00:53:08.599
occurred to me that anyone would be
awake. Even more surprising, the house

654
00:53:08.679 --> 00:53:13.639
was full, and I entered through
the front door to see Kate and Jenny

655
00:53:13.760 --> 00:53:17.079
in the living room sitting on the
sofa together, arms wrapped around each other.

656
00:53:19.280 --> 00:53:22.719
My brother Greg was sitting with them
in a chair across the room.

657
00:53:23.000 --> 00:53:27.519
As I made my way down the
center hall to the kitchen, I counted

658
00:53:27.599 --> 00:53:31.800
a dozen nieces and nephews, some
sitting on the stairs and others gathered in

659
00:53:31.840 --> 00:53:37.000
the side parlor, and a few
sitting around the big oak table in the

660
00:53:37.079 --> 00:53:40.960
dining room. Each of them in
turn raised their heads and nodded to me.

661
00:53:43.159 --> 00:53:45.800
At the end of the hall,
I entered the kitchen to find my

662
00:53:45.840 --> 00:53:50.199
oldest brother Mike sitting at the kitchen
table nursing a cup of coffee, with

663
00:53:50.280 --> 00:53:53.800
his wife Penny, sitting beside him
and gently rubbing her hand up and down

664
00:53:53.840 --> 00:53:59.599
his back. Matt was there too, with his head bet his wife was

665
00:53:59.639 --> 00:54:06.440
at the sink washing dishes. Derek
was leaning against the counter, drinking his

666
00:54:06.480 --> 00:54:10.239
own cup of coffee while his wife
dried the dishes for Penny. He looked

667
00:54:10.320 --> 00:54:16.000
up and set a soft hey shadow. The others turned to me. Then

668
00:54:16.199 --> 00:54:21.760
they each got up and gave me
a warm hug, whispering quiet statements of

669
00:54:21.800 --> 00:54:25.039
relief. At my arrival. I
looked around the room, but I didn't

670
00:54:25.039 --> 00:54:30.440
see my father anywhere. Is she
again? I stumbled on the question.

671
00:54:30.880 --> 00:54:36.840
I couldn't say those words, I
couldn't think about them. She's still here,

672
00:54:37.159 --> 00:54:40.000
Mike said, Dad and Ronald are
upstairs with her. Going up,

673
00:54:42.559 --> 00:54:45.480
I met Dad on his way down. He pulled me into his arms and

674
00:54:45.599 --> 00:54:49.679
let me have a good cry before
leading the way up to the bedroom.

675
00:54:50.519 --> 00:54:52.559
He said it would be better if
I could get the tears out first,

676
00:54:52.719 --> 00:54:58.239
for Mom's sake. He must have
been right about the tears. When the

677
00:54:58.280 --> 00:55:01.199
door opened, I saw my mother's
frail, shrunken frame in the bed,

678
00:55:01.719 --> 00:55:05.760
and I doubt I would have been
able to hold up if I hadn't got

679
00:55:05.800 --> 00:55:09.920
some of the emotion out of me
first. Ronald, another brother, stood

680
00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:14.840
up and motioned for me to take
his chair, but I lifted my hand

681
00:55:15.039 --> 00:55:20.159
in a refusal gesture, and I
climbed tenderly into the bed next to her.

682
00:55:21.239 --> 00:55:24.280
Both my father and my brother mate
to deny me that right, but

683
00:55:24.400 --> 00:55:29.679
one look from me told them there
was no point in arguing. Hey,

684
00:55:29.760 --> 00:55:35.519
Mom, I whispered into her ear. Watery blue eyes opened, and a

685
00:55:35.599 --> 00:55:42.480
face creased with age and dark purple
patches stained the wells beneath them. Her

686
00:55:42.559 --> 00:55:46.559
cheeks, once full and painted in
delicate shades of pink, sank inward,

687
00:55:46.679 --> 00:55:52.199
now in ashing tones, and she
broke into a smile. Hello, my

688
00:55:52.360 --> 00:55:58.079
baby, she answered, in a
voice so weak it was barely audible.

689
00:55:59.360 --> 00:56:02.679
I wanted to fill my mother's arms
around me at that moment, more than

690
00:56:02.719 --> 00:56:07.119
I wanted to breathe, but I
knew it couldn't be. I didn't dare

691
00:56:07.199 --> 00:56:12.960
to so much as brush against her. She was too delicate and too brittle,

692
00:56:13.000 --> 00:56:16.519
and too close to death. All
I had was her presence, and

693
00:56:16.639 --> 00:56:22.440
I knew I wouldn't have that for
long. I watched in her silence for

694
00:56:22.519 --> 00:56:27.199
a few minutes before she spoke again. I know, shadow, she said,

695
00:56:27.679 --> 00:56:31.280
repeating the words she'd spoken to me
earlier in the day. I wonder

696
00:56:31.440 --> 00:56:36.519
if she did know, if she
ever could know how much I missed her

697
00:56:36.599 --> 00:56:42.320
already. Then she turned and stared
deep into my eyes, and with more

698
00:56:42.440 --> 00:56:46.800
force and deliberation than I thought she
could have mustered, she said, I

699
00:56:46.960 --> 00:56:52.280
know. I spent the rest of
the night, taking my turn with the

700
00:56:52.320 --> 00:56:58.400
rest of my family at Mom's bedside. For the most part, she slept,

701
00:56:59.039 --> 00:57:01.119
and once she opened her her eyes
and lifted a finger as if to

702
00:57:01.159 --> 00:57:05.800
point at her dresser, and I
looked over at it, but I had

703
00:57:05.840 --> 00:57:09.719
no idea what she was asking for
another time. She opened her eyes and

704
00:57:09.800 --> 00:57:15.599
looked as if she might say something, but she didn't. I couldn't say

705
00:57:15.599 --> 00:57:20.320
if her last words were I know, as far as I was concerned,

706
00:57:20.360 --> 00:57:23.719
they were, But I wasn't always
in the room, and none of us

707
00:57:23.760 --> 00:57:29.960
spoke about our time with her,
choosing instead to guard those moments within ourselves.

708
00:57:30.519 --> 00:57:36.000
At first, we'd leave the bedroom
and wander downstairs for another cup of

709
00:57:36.039 --> 00:57:40.039
coffee or a can of soda,
and each successive visit became more and more

710
00:57:40.159 --> 00:57:45.679
wearing, until we finally began to
pick spots along the hallway where we'd collapse

711
00:57:45.760 --> 00:57:51.199
into private reflection until we were called
to go sit with her again. We

712
00:57:51.440 --> 00:57:55.719
visited her in groups of two and
three except for Dad, and sometime in

713
00:57:55.760 --> 00:58:00.480
the night we all reached the unspoken
agreement that time with her should be his

714
00:58:00.519 --> 00:58:07.519
own. I found myself staring at
the tall window outside their door that marked

715
00:58:07.519 --> 00:58:09.880
the end of the hall. It
looked out over the front of the house

716
00:58:09.920 --> 00:58:15.000
and down into the barnyard, and
from the floor, all I could see

717
00:58:15.239 --> 00:58:19.960
was the black velvet matt glistening with
stars. Until the sun began to rise.

718
00:58:21.719 --> 00:58:25.480
By little, it brightened into a
deep blue separated from the earth below

719
00:58:25.480 --> 00:58:31.559
it by long fingers of pink and
gold. How could something be so beautiful

720
00:58:31.840 --> 00:58:37.400
when the whole world is ending,
I asked myself. At that moment,

721
00:58:37.559 --> 00:58:44.400
the bedroom door opened and my father
stepped out. She's gone, he said.

722
00:58:45.480 --> 00:58:49.719
His eyes were red, and I
detected a slight tremor in his voice,

723
00:58:49.880 --> 00:58:57.159
but he was otherwise stoic. Mom
would have been proud. Funerals are

724
00:58:57.199 --> 00:59:00.599
for the living. I don't know
who said that. I can only heartily

725
00:59:00.639 --> 00:59:07.280
agree. They make those first few
days before the reality of lossing sin and

726
00:59:07.360 --> 00:59:13.119
the senses are dulled and go by
so much faster. My mother was no

727
00:59:13.239 --> 00:59:17.239
longer with us. What did she
care now if her mouth stretched unnaturally wide

728
00:59:17.239 --> 00:59:22.639
across her face, or if the
mortician overdid the makeup. It was her

729
00:59:22.719 --> 00:59:29.199
children who stood at the casket and
wished they'd done a better job. The

730
00:59:29.280 --> 00:59:35.079
funeral was much the same as my
grandfather's or anyone else's funeral I'd ever been

731
00:59:35.119 --> 00:59:40.639
to. A hundred faces passed before
me. Platitudes were served in abundance and

732
00:59:40.760 --> 00:59:46.599
answered with copious amounts of gratitude.
Hands were shaken and stories were shared,

733
00:59:46.639 --> 00:59:52.239
and people laughed and people cried.
One second, I was staring into my

734
00:59:52.280 --> 00:59:57.079
father's stricken face as he announced that
my mother had ceased to exist, And

735
00:59:57.159 --> 01:00:00.840
the next someone was pushing a plate
of food into my ends and telling me

736
01:00:00.920 --> 01:00:05.760
what a nice service it was.
The dinner was held at the church,

737
01:00:05.960 --> 01:00:10.679
but our family all congregated at the
house afterward. Seven children, all but

738
01:00:10.800 --> 01:00:15.960
one of whom had married and produced
our own offspring, and who were now

739
01:00:15.079 --> 01:00:22.039
counting grandchildren meant that the house was
overflowing with people. I was surprised to

740
01:00:22.079 --> 01:00:27.079
realize that more than half of my
relatives came from out of town. Eighteen

741
01:00:27.159 --> 01:00:31.079
years earlier, when I had fled
Willard Springs, it was a novelty,

742
01:00:31.119 --> 01:00:37.440
and now it seemed that most of
my nieces and nephews lived elsewhere. How

743
01:00:37.480 --> 01:00:40.480
are you holding out? I hadn't
heard my father slip up beside me.

744
01:00:40.920 --> 01:00:45.760
I'd been too busy staring around the
room trying to figure out who belonged to

745
01:00:45.800 --> 01:00:50.960
who. Okay, I guess,
I answered, with a sigh. I

746
01:00:51.000 --> 01:00:53.039
could have mentioned that it would be
nice to find a place to sit,

747
01:00:53.159 --> 01:00:58.960
but there would have been no point. How are you doing, he grunted

748
01:00:59.000 --> 01:01:02.719
his answer. How long are you
staying? He asked? I don't know.

749
01:01:02.880 --> 01:01:07.760
Dad, a few more days,
I guess. Doctor Witherspoon said to

750
01:01:07.800 --> 01:01:09.880
take as much time as I need, But I think it would be better

751
01:01:09.920 --> 01:01:14.840
to get back to my students before
the adjunct makes too much of a mess

752
01:01:14.880 --> 01:01:20.880
of my lesson plans stay to the
weekend anyway. It was offered as a

753
01:01:20.960 --> 01:01:24.480
suggestion, but it felt more like
a plea. What are you going to

754
01:01:24.559 --> 01:01:29.559
do now? Dad? You don't
farm anymore. There's no reason to stay

755
01:01:29.559 --> 01:01:34.559
in this big old house. I
thought about moving into your granddaddy's house.

756
01:01:34.920 --> 01:01:38.880
No one's lived there in years.
He glanced down at my horrified expression and

757
01:01:38.960 --> 01:01:44.159
put his arm around my shoulder.
Don't worry, it was just a thought

758
01:01:44.599 --> 01:01:49.440
I should tear the place down.
Really. He mauled over that thought for

759
01:01:49.519 --> 01:01:53.519
a minute, and then he said, none of this younger generation is interested

760
01:01:53.559 --> 01:01:59.079
in farming. Derek and Benn are
the only ones, and Mike doesn't do

761
01:01:59.199 --> 01:02:04.760
much anymore. He and Penny liked
to travel. Derek runs his operation and

762
01:02:04.880 --> 01:02:08.960
Ben handles Ronalds and Matt still active, but it's only because as boys don't

763
01:02:09.039 --> 01:02:14.880
farm. And again there was a
pause. We had an offer on the

764
01:02:14.960 --> 01:02:19.599
dairy, and I think I'm gonna
take it. I knew our little regional

765
01:02:19.679 --> 01:02:24.400
operation was struggling under the onslaught of
modernization, but the thought of never seeing

766
01:02:24.440 --> 01:02:29.880
a gallon of Parker O'Connor and milk
in the store again left a hole in

767
01:02:30.039 --> 01:02:34.880
my chest. I had to remind
myself that Saint Louis is beyond the reach

768
01:02:34.920 --> 01:02:38.280
of Parker O'Connor, and that I
had therefore not seen a gallon of that

769
01:02:38.480 --> 01:02:44.360
milk in decades. Maybe you could
come to Saint Louis and stay with me

770
01:02:44.519 --> 01:02:49.280
for a while, I suggested,
hopefully, No, shadow, I can't

771
01:02:49.280 --> 01:02:53.119
do that, he said solemnly.
If I could have closed my ears,

772
01:02:53.280 --> 01:02:58.519
tis next statement I would have.
It wouldn't have done any good. Though

773
01:02:59.000 --> 01:03:02.599
I knew what he was going to
say. Someone has to stay here and

774
01:03:02.719 --> 01:03:08.400
keep the woods. It's hot in
here, was the best response I could

775
01:03:08.400 --> 01:03:14.679
offer. I walked away from him. Then It wasn't hot inside. It

776
01:03:14.800 --> 01:03:19.119
had in fact cool considerably over the
last several hours, which made the house

777
01:03:19.280 --> 01:03:23.199
a cozy retreat from the impending bad
weather. I had a vague memory of

778
01:03:23.239 --> 01:03:28.320
the weather man predicting the frost.
It meant that no one was on the

779
01:03:28.400 --> 01:03:32.280
porch when I stepped outside and finally
found a seat in the swing, but

780
01:03:32.440 --> 01:03:37.239
much to my chagrin, Dad followed
me, as did Derek. I don't

781
01:03:37.320 --> 01:03:42.559
see why you have to keep the
woods, I stated angrily to my father,

782
01:03:43.440 --> 01:03:46.000
because there are things out there that
can hurt people. Dad argued,

783
01:03:46.960 --> 01:03:52.360
don't worry, Shadow, he has
me. Derek, of you don't need

784
01:03:52.400 --> 01:03:55.639
to be involved in this either.
I spat at him. Tears were welling

785
01:03:55.719 --> 01:04:00.519
up in my eyes as the same
cold fear that I felt when I saw

786
01:04:00.519 --> 01:04:06.000
the dog man attack Scout washed over
me. Aunt Shadow. I looked down

787
01:04:06.039 --> 01:04:11.119
at a little girl in a pink
dress with a white cardigan who had suddenly

788
01:04:11.159 --> 01:04:15.599
materialized in front of me. I
had no idea whose child she was.

789
01:04:15.639 --> 01:04:19.840
Despite the dozens of senior pictures that
my mother had sent me over the years,

790
01:04:19.880 --> 01:04:25.199
and that I tucked faithfully into an
album on my bookshelf, and despite

791
01:04:25.199 --> 01:04:29.800
the hundreds of family photos she'd brought
to Saint Louis with her on the many

792
01:04:29.960 --> 01:04:34.280
visits, depicting images of laughing children
and loving parents, I have never been

793
01:04:34.320 --> 01:04:41.039
able to separate one from the other. Parker jeans are strong. We all

794
01:04:41.119 --> 01:04:45.519
have my father's dark eyes and his
short, square nose, with the slightly

795
01:04:45.599 --> 01:04:50.719
flaring nostrils. We all have the
obstinate, clefted chin and his full lower

796
01:04:50.760 --> 01:04:56.519
lip. We all have chestnut curls
and ears that stick out a little too

797
01:04:56.639 --> 01:05:00.280
much. We're not the most handsome
family, but one would call us ugly,

798
01:05:00.920 --> 01:05:05.199
no more than anyone could deny a
Parker when they see one. And

799
01:05:05.280 --> 01:05:10.320
the little girl in front of me
was a perfect specimen of Parker jeans in

800
01:05:10.440 --> 01:05:15.360
action. What sweetheart, I asked, a shame that I didn't know her

801
01:05:15.480 --> 01:05:18.920
name. Please don't cry, she
said, as she climbed into the swing

802
01:05:18.960 --> 01:05:24.639
and wedged herself between me and my
father. Once she was comfortable, she

803
01:05:24.719 --> 01:05:28.239
put her hand in mine, and
she smiled at me. I guessed her

804
01:05:28.320 --> 01:05:31.920
to be around six. Why do
they call you shadow, she asked,

805
01:05:32.920 --> 01:05:38.320
Well, I guess it's because I
followed my grandfather around when I was your

806
01:05:38.360 --> 01:05:42.599
age, like his shadow. I
told her. Her hand was warm in

807
01:05:42.760 --> 01:05:45.840
mine. It's moments like that when
I missed, Never having had children on

808
01:05:45.960 --> 01:05:50.400
my own, I think I would
have been a good mother. Is he

809
01:05:50.480 --> 01:05:55.840
your grandfather, she asked, pointing
at my father, and then, ignoring

810
01:05:55.880 --> 01:06:00.000
my father's frustrated huff, she added, mine is Mike. I looked up

811
01:06:00.000 --> 01:06:05.039
at Derek, then realizing that this
could be his daughter. No, sweetheart,

812
01:06:05.199 --> 01:06:11.400
he's my daddy. My grandfather was
Granddaddy O'Connor. He's not a father,

813
01:06:11.679 --> 01:06:15.719
she said, indignantly, He's a
grandfather. We laughed at her logic.

814
01:06:16.800 --> 01:06:23.000
He's my grandfather, Derec told her. But Grandpa Great is aunt Shadow's

815
01:06:23.079 --> 01:06:28.320
daddy, just like he's Grandpa Mike's
daddy, and I'm your daddy. How

816
01:06:28.360 --> 01:06:31.840
come he isn't your daddy? She
asked, Well, if Grandpa Great is

817
01:06:31.920 --> 01:06:36.400
your daddy, then Grandpa Mike couldn't
be your grandpa. I tried to explain,

818
01:06:38.039 --> 01:06:41.519
Well why not. We all looked
at each other, knowing that this

819
01:06:41.679 --> 01:06:45.119
conversation was going to take a while. Why don't you go play and I'll

820
01:06:45.119 --> 01:06:49.639
explain it later, Derek said,
But Daddy, go on, Kinsie,

821
01:06:49.800 --> 01:06:55.239
he said. She slid off the
swing and crossed her arms, and with

822
01:06:55.360 --> 01:06:59.679
her head down and her lower lip
out, she stalked away. She has

823
01:06:59.719 --> 01:07:05.400
the Parker personality, I laughed,
the Shadow Parker personality, Dad and Derek

824
01:07:05.559 --> 01:07:12.679
said, simultaneously. I gave them
both an exasperated look. I was still

825
01:07:12.679 --> 01:07:16.840
watching Kinsey issue approached her cousins in
the yard. When Derek said, Grandpa's

826
01:07:16.880 --> 01:07:21.519
teaching me everything I need to know
about the woods, I closed my eyes.

827
01:07:23.119 --> 01:07:26.920
And when he's gone, I'll be
here to watch over things. And

828
01:07:27.079 --> 01:07:31.559
when you're gone, I asked,
I'm never leaving. He laughed, but

829
01:07:31.679 --> 01:07:35.199
at the sight of my angry face, he added, well, I should

830
01:07:35.280 --> 01:07:40.960
be around for another fifty years or
so. Anyway. I couldn't argue with

831
01:07:41.039 --> 01:07:44.719
that. My father was sitting beside
me, well into his eighties, and

832
01:07:44.800 --> 01:07:48.400
he didn't look a day over sixty. My brother Mike looked older than him.

833
01:07:49.320 --> 01:07:54.159
He was still spry and active,
and I was sure still driving down

834
01:07:54.199 --> 01:07:58.480
the river every day to look for
signs. I felt a chill run up

835
01:07:58.519 --> 01:08:02.079
my spine at the memory of the
last walk I took with him. It

836
01:08:02.079 --> 01:08:06.119
would help if you sent us your
binder, Dad said, gently, at

837
01:08:06.199 --> 01:08:11.679
least a copy of it. I
made a mental note to finally purchase a

838
01:08:11.719 --> 01:08:16.520
home computer. I needed to digitize
everything anyway. If I bought a printer

839
01:08:16.680 --> 01:08:20.640
two, I could make the copies
at home and send the whole thing off

840
01:08:21.079 --> 01:08:26.920
and then take my time entering everything
into the computer. I wasn't about to

841
01:08:26.920 --> 01:08:30.079
take it into work and have the
department work study printed off for me.

842
01:08:30.800 --> 01:08:35.359
I was an expert in mythological studies, but that didn't mean I was supposed

843
01:08:35.359 --> 01:08:41.680
to believe in them. And then, realizing how easily I had accepted their

844
01:08:41.720 --> 01:08:45.399
plans, I said, you wouldn't
need that binder if you'd just stay away

845
01:08:45.439 --> 01:08:51.319
from the woods shadow. My dad
groaned. I knew I sounded ridiculous,

846
01:08:51.359 --> 01:08:56.359
but I was afraid. I was
afraid that my father was going to wander

847
01:08:56.439 --> 01:09:00.680
out there and run into the same
thing Derek had, But this time there

848
01:09:00.720 --> 01:09:04.600
would be no other beast to steal
a turkey and inadvertently rescue my father.

849
01:09:05.439 --> 01:09:11.760
I couldn't lose another parent, not
yet. I turned my attention back to

850
01:09:11.840 --> 01:09:15.760
the children playing in the yard.
They were in the midst of a serious

851
01:09:15.800 --> 01:09:19.680
game of tag. I was thinking
how wonderful it was to see children play.

852
01:09:20.239 --> 01:09:24.600
Even as early as two thousand and
one, that was becoming a rare

853
01:09:24.720 --> 01:09:30.479
sight. All of their Parker faces
were flushed and glowing, and most of

854
01:09:30.479 --> 01:09:33.119
them were still in their dress clothes
from the funeral, but they were all

855
01:09:33.159 --> 01:09:40.760
in disarray. I noticed torn and
grass stained pants and rumpled tops and adscuff

856
01:09:40.840 --> 01:09:45.199
shoes. Once neatly plaided hair was
coming loose, and there were more than

857
01:09:45.239 --> 01:09:48.840
a few ribbons and neckties lying on
the ground around them. And I glanced

858
01:09:48.880 --> 01:09:54.199
around and I looked for Kinzie.
There were several girls in pink dresses,

859
01:09:54.239 --> 01:09:58.319
but I didn't see her among them. I wondered if she had gone inside.

860
01:09:59.239 --> 01:10:01.800
I need a drea, I said, standing up, you guys want

861
01:10:01.840 --> 01:10:06.960
anything, I'll take a cup of
coffee, Dad said, Derek shook his

862
01:10:08.000 --> 01:10:13.039
head. No. Inside the house
was amaze of people, but I managed

863
01:10:13.079 --> 01:10:15.239
to make my way to the kitchen, where I made myself a glass of

864
01:10:15.319 --> 01:10:19.680
root beer and poured a cup of
coffee for Dad. Penny was standing at

865
01:10:19.720 --> 01:10:24.880
the sink doing dishes as quickly as
they were being returned, and still not

866
01:10:25.079 --> 01:10:30.239
managing to keep up. Jesse,
Derek's wife, was on the drying detail.

867
01:10:30.119 --> 01:10:34.119
Have you seen Jesse asked, as
I filled my glass with ice.

868
01:10:34.760 --> 01:10:39.840
He's outside talking with me and Dad. I told her, can you ask

869
01:10:39.920 --> 01:10:43.520
him to find Kenzie. I don't
want her playing with the other kids until

870
01:10:43.600 --> 01:10:46.640
she's changed out of her dress.
Well, I think she's inside somewhere,

871
01:10:46.840 --> 01:10:50.760
I said. She was on the
porch with me, and I wasn't sure.

872
01:10:50.760 --> 01:10:55.079
I wanted to tell her that she'd
been playing with the other kids already,

873
01:10:55.119 --> 01:10:58.439
but there was no point lying.
And then she went out to play

874
01:10:58.479 --> 01:11:01.000
in the yard. But I didn't
see her before I came in, so

875
01:11:01.039 --> 01:11:05.600
I think she came back inside.
Oh okay, Jesse said, with a

876
01:11:05.720 --> 01:11:11.159
sigh, I'll find her. She
put down her towel and headed down the

877
01:11:11.199 --> 01:11:15.079
hall in search of her daughter,
and I took the coffee and the soda

878
01:11:15.159 --> 01:11:18.159
outside. Hey, if you see
your daughter, let her know her mother

879
01:11:18.279 --> 01:11:23.399
wants her, I told Derek.
Typical of a man. He nodded,

880
01:11:23.479 --> 01:11:28.560
and then immediately dismissed the request.
Look, if we had that binder here

881
01:11:28.760 --> 01:11:32.640
with all the information you have in
it, he began. That binder isn't

882
01:11:32.680 --> 01:11:38.560
static, you know, I interrupted. I add to it and updated constantly.

883
01:11:39.600 --> 01:11:42.680
Well, I realized that, But
if we had it here, a

884
01:11:42.720 --> 01:11:46.720
copy anyway, it would be a
great reference. You have Granddaddy's journal,

885
01:11:46.800 --> 01:11:51.840
so all we have with the notes
Grandpa made since he died. I rolled

886
01:11:51.880 --> 01:11:59.000
my eyes and grunted my displeasure.
There was no point arguing with them.

887
01:11:59.159 --> 01:12:02.399
At least if they had the binder, Derek would have more knowledge. Dad

888
01:12:02.439 --> 01:12:09.000
wouldn't need it. Much of the
information in that binder came from him.

889
01:12:09.079 --> 01:12:14.560
I looked at Dad then, and
I recognized his age. Time is relentless.

890
01:12:14.840 --> 01:12:18.039
It never slows, it never stops, and it never waits. The

891
01:12:18.079 --> 01:12:24.199
future is a blind alley who knows
what lies beyond the next minute. And

892
01:12:24.279 --> 01:12:28.000
when my parents came down for a
visit earlier that year, my mother was

893
01:12:28.039 --> 01:12:32.119
as healthy and active as ever.
A few months later Dad called to tell

894
01:12:32.159 --> 01:12:36.159
me that she had had a heart
attack, and today we buried her.

895
01:12:38.119 --> 01:12:44.239
I'll send it, I conceded.
There was no point in arguing. The

896
01:12:44.319 --> 01:12:49.439
screen door swung open. Jesse came
outside. Derek, have you seen Kenzie?

897
01:12:49.560 --> 01:12:54.039
She asked. We all turned to
look at the children playing in the

898
01:12:54.119 --> 01:12:59.239
yard. I thought she went inside, I reasserted, she isn't there.

899
01:12:59.399 --> 01:13:04.279
I looked all over. Jesse's voice
denoted worry. Well, she's around here,

900
01:13:04.319 --> 01:13:08.960
somewhere, Derek told her. But
even as she said the words,

901
01:13:09.239 --> 01:13:13.520
we were all moving off the porch
and into the yard. Hey, Derek

902
01:13:13.600 --> 01:13:18.119
yelled to the kids. Has anyone
seemed Kinzie? A boy of about thirteen,

903
01:13:18.199 --> 01:13:24.359
said she went off that way,
pointing toward the barn. None of

904
01:13:24.439 --> 01:13:28.159
us spoke as we all headed to
the barn, but we were all beginning

905
01:13:28.199 --> 01:13:34.079
to worry, Dad muttered something about
history repeating itself. I was reminded that

906
01:13:34.119 --> 01:13:39.439
I too had wandered off to the
barn when I was young. I held

907
01:13:39.479 --> 01:13:45.079
on to the prospect of another positive
outcome At the barn. Dad slid opened

908
01:13:45.079 --> 01:13:48.760
the wide door, and he called
her name. I walked around the far

909
01:13:48.920 --> 01:13:55.640
end and started into the pasture,
and beyond it were the woods. Derek

910
01:13:55.760 --> 01:14:00.479
turned and looked over toward Grandaddy's house
in the woods behind it. Jesse,

911
01:14:00.800 --> 01:14:04.119
go inside and check the house thoroughly, Derek told his wife. And make

912
01:14:04.159 --> 01:14:09.760
sure you check every room, even
the attic. Jesse turned and ran back

913
01:14:09.800 --> 01:14:13.680
to the house. And have everyone
help you, he called after her.

914
01:14:15.000 --> 01:14:19.880
Dad, I whispered softly. You
don't think He looked at me hard,

915
01:14:20.000 --> 01:14:26.279
willing me not to finish the sentence. Derek, who had finished the sentence

916
01:14:26.279 --> 01:14:30.439
in his own mind, sprang into
action. Can I use the ATV?

917
01:14:30.760 --> 01:14:33.640
He asked. He's on the hook
in the barn, Dad answered, and

918
01:14:33.680 --> 01:14:39.039
then he said, I'll go with
you. No, it was my voice

919
01:14:39.079 --> 01:14:43.159
I heard, but I couldn't believe
it was me speaking. You stay here

920
01:14:43.199 --> 01:14:45.720
and make sure no one else goes
into those woods alone. I'll go with

921
01:14:45.840 --> 01:14:50.960
Derek. I was pretty sure I
had lost my mind. Nothing short of

922
01:14:51.079 --> 01:14:57.880
rescuing Derek's daughter would have ever driven
me back into those woods. No shadow,

923
01:14:58.079 --> 01:15:01.439
he began, don't argue with me. I'm younger and more agile than

924
01:15:01.520 --> 01:15:08.119
you. I doubted that, but
it sounded like a good argument. I

925
01:15:08.279 --> 01:15:12.039
marched off to the barn and I
hopped onto the back of the ATV.

926
01:15:13.079 --> 01:15:18.640
Derek guided us recklessly down the tractor
path that separated the pastures from the hayfields.

927
01:15:19.159 --> 01:15:23.520
As he maneuvered across the ruts and
around the corners, I kept my

928
01:15:23.600 --> 01:15:28.359
eyes open for signs of a little
pink dress and a white cardigan. At

929
01:15:28.359 --> 01:15:32.239
the wood line, he turned and
slowed down considerably, searching along the undergrowth.

930
01:15:33.600 --> 01:15:36.479
We traced the edge of the woods
all the way to the gravel road

931
01:15:36.560 --> 01:15:41.479
that split the property in half,
and on the other side, we drove

932
01:15:41.560 --> 01:15:45.319
slowly along the trees until we got
to the river. We both called her

933
01:15:45.399 --> 01:15:49.560
name repeatedly, and we listened for
an answer, but the constant putter of

934
01:15:49.600 --> 01:15:56.560
the ATV's engine drowned out most sounds. At the river, Derek turned off

935
01:15:56.560 --> 01:16:01.039
the ATV. We're gonna have to
walk, he said. I was suddenly

936
01:16:01.079 --> 01:16:05.079
aware that neither of us had a
gun. But what if, what if

937
01:16:05.119 --> 01:16:11.479
my daughter's out there? He cut
me off. He was right, guns

938
01:16:11.560 --> 01:16:15.720
or no guns when needed to find
Kinsey. It was late afternoon, we

939
01:16:15.880 --> 01:16:19.640
didn't have much daylight left. I
looked down at my feeble shoes and was

940
01:16:19.680 --> 01:16:25.439
suddenly glad that my little black dress
had been in the dry cleaners. It

941
01:16:25.520 --> 01:16:29.840
meant that I had to bring dress
pants and penny loafers, otherwise I'd have

942
01:16:29.840 --> 01:16:34.840
been standing there in kitten heels.
The sound of two more ATVs buzzing down

943
01:16:34.880 --> 01:16:39.560
the road had us turning to see
my dad and Mike coming toward us.

944
01:16:39.800 --> 01:16:44.279
They pulled up and climbed off their
vehicles, and Dad gave Derek a rifle

945
01:16:44.319 --> 01:16:48.319
and handed me a nine millimeter go
out. I took it and stared helplessly.

946
01:16:49.319 --> 01:16:54.279
We've got everyone else looking around the
house in the yard, Dad said,

947
01:16:54.319 --> 01:16:58.039
as he and Mike checked over their
own weapons, if they find her

948
01:16:58.239 --> 01:17:01.079
there, to fire three shots.
And then he looked at me. Do

949
01:17:01.159 --> 01:17:05.319
you think you can handle this thing? He said. I hadn't fired a

950
01:17:05.399 --> 01:17:10.600
gun in years. I respect the
rights of others to own guns, but

951
01:17:10.720 --> 01:17:14.840
I'm not a gun owner. I've
watched all the movies, and I've had

952
01:17:14.880 --> 01:17:17.720
all the day dreams where I take
a pistol in hand and lock and load,

953
01:17:17.800 --> 01:17:21.880
and tie a scarf around my forehead
and dip my fingers into the mud

954
01:17:21.880 --> 01:17:27.920
and run them across my cheeks and
say something cool like let's roll. That

955
01:17:28.079 --> 01:17:31.600
isn't how this played out. I
stood there trembling until my father took back

956
01:17:31.600 --> 01:17:35.279
the gun and told me to stay
close to him. It wouldn't have taken

957
01:17:35.359 --> 01:17:41.239
down the things that live in these
woods anyway. Three shocked faces turned to

958
01:17:41.279 --> 01:17:45.920
stare at Mike. He blinked at
us as if he assumed that we knew

959
01:17:45.960 --> 01:17:50.800
what he knew, and then he
said, you can't be serious. Everyone

960
01:17:50.920 --> 01:17:56.039
knows evil lives here. A damn
it. Mike got the cool line,

961
01:17:57.880 --> 01:18:00.560
shadow and I are going to head
this way, Dad said, choosing not

962
01:18:00.640 --> 01:18:05.199
to waste time discussing the things that
Mike did or didn't know. You two

963
01:18:05.239 --> 01:18:09.600
head down along the river bank till
you get to the rock path, and

964
01:18:09.640 --> 01:18:13.920
then circle back toward the farmhouse and
cover the woods behind it, and keep

965
01:18:13.960 --> 01:18:17.720
your eyes on the pastures. We'll
meet you on the other side. I

966
01:18:17.840 --> 01:18:25.239
was quickly beginning to realize how utterly
useless I was. Mike and Derek headed

967
01:18:25.279 --> 01:18:29.680
down the bank, while Dad and
I headed into the woods ten feet in.

968
01:18:30.159 --> 01:18:34.520
It already felt like night. The
dense trees overhead were like weights pressing

969
01:18:34.600 --> 01:18:41.159
down on us. Every step was
a cracking twig or a crunching leaf,

970
01:18:41.600 --> 01:18:45.920
and I felt eyes on us.
Whether they were predatory or squirrels, I

971
01:18:46.000 --> 01:18:51.640
couldn't say. Fear and anxiety were
playing havoc with my senses. We should

972
01:18:51.680 --> 01:18:59.439
have brought flashlights, I whispered.
Sh was Dad's response. He had stopped

973
01:18:59.479 --> 01:19:02.880
walking, held up his hand.
I stood silently beside him, and I

974
01:19:02.960 --> 01:19:08.720
listened for whatever he was hearing.
It was a moment before the reality set

975
01:19:08.800 --> 01:19:14.039
in and I heard nothing. Dad
looked at me and raised his eyebrows as

976
01:19:14.079 --> 01:19:17.000
if to say, well, we've
come this far, and he began walking

977
01:19:17.039 --> 01:19:21.800
again. I stayed close to him, remembering that day a dozen years ago

978
01:19:21.880 --> 01:19:26.439
when I thought he was behind me, but he wasn't. That wasn't going

979
01:19:26.479 --> 01:19:31.760
to happen again. The undergrowth of
woods was varied. Patches of low growing

980
01:19:31.840 --> 01:19:38.319
plants popped out of the leaf matter. In places, empty limbs lay scattered

981
01:19:38.359 --> 01:19:44.760
around in varying stages of decay bunchberries
with their red fruit gathered at the base

982
01:19:44.800 --> 01:19:48.520
of trees, and moss covered rocks
angled outward. As we climbed the terrain

983
01:19:48.720 --> 01:19:54.960
upwards away from the river, we
stopped and stared at a pair of saplings

984
01:19:54.960 --> 01:19:59.119
that were snapped in two eight feet
off the ground and bent together to form

985
01:19:59.159 --> 01:20:03.640
a perfect I looked at Dad and
he nodded. Are they still here?

986
01:20:03.920 --> 01:20:10.199
I asked, as quietly as I
could. He pointed to another ex formation

987
01:20:10.359 --> 01:20:15.000
that had been knocked down. When
the Sasquatch leave, he whispered, the

988
01:20:15.039 --> 01:20:20.199
dog men come and push over their
markers. We continued. My feet were

989
01:20:20.239 --> 01:20:26.119
beginning to hurt inside my shoes.
Night was approaching, bringing with it a

990
01:20:26.279 --> 01:20:30.760
chill that was settling in my bones. I remembered again the overly jolly weather

991
01:20:30.880 --> 01:20:35.840
man saying something about a frost.
Was Kinsey cold? Was she alive?

992
01:20:38.359 --> 01:20:43.119
Dad? I finally said, we
can't continue to be this quiet. How's

993
01:20:43.199 --> 01:20:45.960
Kinsey going to know we're out here
looking for her. Well, it's better

994
01:20:46.000 --> 01:20:49.840
than them knowing she's out there waiting
for us, he answered, and we

995
01:20:50.000 --> 01:20:56.239
moved on. When we crossed the
gravel road, we looked at the setting

996
01:20:56.319 --> 01:21:00.640
sun in dismay. Time was running
out. I don't know how long we'd

997
01:21:00.640 --> 01:21:04.079
been walking, but I guessed had
taken an hour to get to where we

998
01:21:04.079 --> 01:21:10.159
were. My feet were crying and
my muscles were aching, and I made

999
01:21:10.159 --> 01:21:14.199
a mental note to get a gym
membership when I got home, if I

1000
01:21:14.319 --> 01:21:18.000
got home. The woods on this
side were much the same as the other

1001
01:21:18.640 --> 01:21:24.960
crosses and rock piles, many of
which had been desecrated, and warned us

1002
01:21:25.000 --> 01:21:29.359
that we were not alone, that
we were not the Apex predators, and

1003
01:21:29.439 --> 01:21:34.720
dread pushed me closer to my father. Something snapped behind us, and Dad

1004
01:21:34.760 --> 01:21:41.720
swung around rifle raised. I mimicked
his motion, but I didn't see anything

1005
01:21:42.880 --> 01:21:45.319
following the barrel of the gun.
I squinted to see what was making my

1006
01:21:45.439 --> 01:21:51.079
father draw in his breath, and
a pair of eyes glowed malevolently fifty yards

1007
01:21:51.159 --> 01:21:57.319
from us. Instinctively, I turned
and put my back to my father,

1008
01:21:57.720 --> 01:22:01.960
scanning the opposite direction for signs being
surrounded. There was another pair of eyes

1009
01:22:02.039 --> 01:22:08.760
at my three o'clock. Now nudged
Dad with my elbow and pointed dog men.

1010
01:22:09.199 --> 01:22:13.439
I asked, amber eyes. He
whispered, I don't think so.

1011
01:22:15.239 --> 01:22:18.640
His body pushed against mine as He
began to back through the woods, and

1012
01:22:18.720 --> 01:22:24.720
slowly I moved forward, acting as
our eyes so that we didn't fall over

1013
01:22:24.760 --> 01:22:30.880
any logs. And then there was
that howl. It was louder than anything

1014
01:22:31.039 --> 01:22:35.760
I ever remembered hearing, louder even
than the house that woke me all those

1015
01:22:35.840 --> 01:22:42.239
years ago, in my grandfather's house. It shook my breastbone and threatened to

1016
01:22:42.319 --> 01:22:46.079
burst my heart. And Dad turned
then and began to move quickly through the

1017
01:22:46.159 --> 01:22:50.479
undergrowth. Almost had to break into
a run to keep up with him.

1018
01:22:51.239 --> 01:22:56.600
We were heading directly back to the
house. Now was he giving up?

1019
01:22:57.159 --> 01:23:00.239
Was my father as big a coward
as me? And then he made a

1020
01:23:00.279 --> 01:23:04.479
sharp turn to us right, and
he walked along the ridge line. The

1021
01:23:04.600 --> 01:23:09.359
drop off was no more than twenty
feet, but the rocks and brambles and

1022
01:23:09.479 --> 01:23:14.720
dead trees made the thought of falling
into the gully a miserable prospect. I

1023
01:23:14.840 --> 01:23:19.600
had no idea where he was leading
us. I could only follow. Dad

1024
01:23:19.680 --> 01:23:26.399
was used to wandering these woods.
He was wearing hiking boots. He changed

1025
01:23:26.439 --> 01:23:30.479
into his denims and flannels as soon
as we got back from the funeral.

1026
01:23:30.359 --> 01:23:35.079
In my white dress shirt and purple
mull hair cardigan, and penny loafer shoes.

1027
01:23:35.479 --> 01:23:41.199
I was no match for him.
All around us I heard heavy breathing

1028
01:23:41.239 --> 01:23:47.119
in low growls, but we pressed
forward. And then it happened. One

1029
01:23:47.199 --> 01:23:50.880
minute I was behind my father,
doing my best to keep up with him,

1030
01:23:50.880 --> 01:23:56.159
and the next I was tumbling over
the edge. I'd gotten too close

1031
01:23:56.439 --> 01:24:00.680
and stepped wrong and turned my ankle
and lost my balance, and thorns gouged

1032
01:24:00.720 --> 01:24:04.960
at my clothing and tore my skin, while rocks and dead branches pummeled my

1033
01:24:05.079 --> 01:24:11.159
body. It was part barrel roll
and part free fall. As I bounced

1034
01:24:11.199 --> 01:24:15.680
off the outcroppings and exposed roots,
there was no way to stop myself.

1035
01:24:16.399 --> 01:24:21.000
Shadow I heard my father's voice call
from the top of the hill. I

1036
01:24:21.079 --> 01:24:26.000
hoped that he wouldn't fall as well
when I heard his footsteps crashing through the

1037
01:24:26.039 --> 01:24:30.119
brush looking for a path down to
where I was. I rolled to a

1038
01:24:30.199 --> 01:24:35.800
breathless stop a foot from a down
tree, moss covered and rotting. It

1039
01:24:35.880 --> 01:24:41.479
must have been lying there for ages. The bend of the trunk created an

1040
01:24:41.600 --> 01:24:45.079
arch barely big enough to crawl under, and I stared into the space,

1041
01:24:45.359 --> 01:24:49.159
aching with a knee to recapture the
wind that had been knocked out of me.

1042
01:24:49.880 --> 01:24:55.680
And a pair of dark, frightened
eyes stared back. Kinsie, I

1043
01:24:55.760 --> 01:25:01.520
said, She answered by placing her
finger on her lips and then pointing upward.

1044
01:25:02.520 --> 01:25:06.560
There was a moment of understanding then, and I knew what I would

1045
01:25:06.600 --> 01:25:12.560
see. When I looked up.
My blood froze in my veins. My

1046
01:25:12.640 --> 01:25:17.199
mind screamed not to look, but
my eyes wouldn't listen. Standing ten yards

1047
01:25:17.199 --> 01:25:21.159
away on the other side of the
fallen tree, staring over at me was

1048
01:25:21.199 --> 01:25:27.199
the largest creature I have ever seen
in my life. It must have been

1049
01:25:27.239 --> 01:25:30.800
eight feet tall, but I was
on the ground looking up, and from

1050
01:25:30.840 --> 01:25:36.479
that position it looked much taller.
Amber eyes pierced me as it opened its

1051
01:25:36.600 --> 01:25:42.920
mouth to bear its canines at me. They were as long as my index

1052
01:25:43.079 --> 01:25:46.039
finger, if not longer. It
didn't have ears, not that I could

1053
01:25:46.079 --> 01:25:50.880
see, but it did have a
snout. I knew instantly what I was

1054
01:25:50.960 --> 01:25:56.920
looking at. My nephew told me
once that he knew he was going to

1055
01:25:57.000 --> 01:26:00.560
die because all hope drained from his
body. Until that moment, I couldn't

1056
01:26:00.560 --> 01:26:05.399
fully understand what he had meant.
Now, however, I was going to

1057
01:26:05.479 --> 01:26:11.119
die. I knew there would be
nothing to prevent that. Perhaps it's where

1058
01:26:11.119 --> 01:26:15.560
I drew the courage to think I
would die, but maybe my death would

1059
01:26:15.560 --> 01:26:19.600
allow Kinsey to live. Kinsey,
I said, without taking my eyes off

1060
01:26:19.640 --> 01:26:25.279
the beast, how could I explain
what I had to say. It took

1061
01:26:25.279 --> 01:26:28.880
a step toward me, and I
glanced up reflectively, and I warned her,

1062
01:26:29.319 --> 01:26:31.680
it's coming this way, and when
it gets here, she whimpered,

1063
01:26:33.119 --> 01:26:38.760
baby, listen, when it gets
here and it grabs me. I glanced

1064
01:26:38.800 --> 01:26:43.000
at her, now, making sure
that she was paying attention. You need

1065
01:26:43.039 --> 01:26:47.520
to run. You saw where I
fell from right, She nodded her head.

1066
01:26:47.960 --> 01:26:51.279
You need to get there. Great
Grandpa's up there and he'll take you

1067
01:26:51.359 --> 01:26:58.960
home. The creature was moving ever
closer. I laid as still as I

1068
01:26:59.000 --> 01:27:02.119
could, no matter how desperately I
wanted to run. I knew I had

1069
01:27:02.159 --> 01:27:05.720
to lie still and let it take
me, or Kinsey would not live.

1070
01:27:06.880 --> 01:27:12.359
It leaned over the tree and sniffed
deeply of my scent. I don't know

1071
01:27:12.399 --> 01:27:15.039
if they have the ability to smile, or what a smile would mean if

1072
01:27:15.079 --> 01:27:20.520
they did, but that's what it
looked like. This thing was doing something

1073
01:27:20.560 --> 01:27:27.479
in my scent was pleasing to it. In the nano seconds it had taken

1074
01:27:27.479 --> 01:27:30.039
me to fall, and to hear
my father charging after me, and to

1075
01:27:30.119 --> 01:27:35.159
recognize my grandniece, and to acknowledge
the beasts, and to accept my death.

1076
01:27:35.680 --> 01:27:40.640
My mind raced. I was sitting
in the lounge at the College Eves,

1077
01:27:40.720 --> 01:27:45.359
dropping on a conversation between two of
my colleagues from the science department.

1078
01:27:45.079 --> 01:27:51.720
They were discussing pheromones and fear.
Someone had written a paper on predators playing

1079
01:27:51.760 --> 01:27:57.079
with their prey. It had something
to do with making the meat taste better.

1080
01:27:58.199 --> 01:28:01.279
Was this monster trying to see scare
me into being a better meal?

1081
01:28:02.880 --> 01:28:06.600
Even as I began to stand up, the sound of gunfire erupted from my

1082
01:28:06.760 --> 01:28:13.520
left. My father was firing his
gun. No, I screamed, it

1083
01:28:13.560 --> 01:28:16.640
would go after my dad. I
couldn't lose both parents in the same week.

1084
01:28:17.319 --> 01:28:21.920
They were all I had. I
got to my feet and faced my

1085
01:28:23.000 --> 01:28:27.800
opponent, and it leaned down at
me, mouth gaping, and hissed its

1086
01:28:27.840 --> 01:28:31.560
fetid breath in my face. Long
claws or raked the top of my head

1087
01:28:31.600 --> 01:28:34.760
as it grabbed a handful of my
hair and lifted me off the ground.

1088
01:28:35.600 --> 01:28:41.680
I grabbed its arm and held on
with both hands as I mentally willed Kinzie

1089
01:28:41.720 --> 01:28:46.319
to run. As I dangled there, three more gunshots split the air.

1090
01:28:47.079 --> 01:28:51.560
It pulled me close, and it
opened its mouth wide. I could have

1091
01:28:51.640 --> 01:28:57.279
counted the teeth if i'd had time. I kicked at it with my feet,

1092
01:28:57.359 --> 01:29:01.079
hitting it in the chest and stomach, and suddenly, from somewhere behind

1093
01:29:01.079 --> 01:29:08.159
the monster, another round of rifle
fire exploded. Voices were screaming, and

1094
01:29:08.279 --> 01:29:13.239
Dad fired several more rounds, and
I felt myself being flung away like an

1095
01:29:13.279 --> 01:29:17.119
unwarning toy, and my ribs cracked
against the tree and my wrists snapped,

1096
01:29:17.399 --> 01:29:24.720
But I was conscious. Kinzie was
what might he now? The monster was

1097
01:29:24.800 --> 01:29:28.840
turned around and staring up the hillside
at the two men who were firing down

1098
01:29:28.880 --> 01:29:32.039
on it. Bullets were hitting it, but none of them seemed to penetrate,

1099
01:29:32.920 --> 01:29:39.239
and then one struck its net and
blood spurted in a long arc across

1100
01:29:39.279 --> 01:29:43.880
the little holler. I ran.
Then I had to get to Kenzie.

1101
01:29:44.600 --> 01:29:48.319
A bellowing roar, like a shock
wave washed over me and nearly brought me

1102
01:29:48.359 --> 01:29:51.680
to my knees. But there was
no time to look back, no time

1103
01:29:51.720 --> 01:29:58.880
to assess the situation. I kept
running. I was reminded of Derek's story,

1104
01:29:59.239 --> 01:30:02.279
and something had tried to steal its
meal. It had turned and fought,

1105
01:30:02.359 --> 01:30:06.720
presumably to the death, for the
right to the turkey. My nephew

1106
01:30:06.760 --> 01:30:11.560
would certainly have provided more meat than
the bird head, but this thing was

1107
01:30:11.720 --> 01:30:16.760
territorial. Owning what it earned was
more important to it than allowing something else

1108
01:30:16.800 --> 01:30:21.680
to encroach on it. Would it
view me the same way? Was it

1109
01:30:21.760 --> 01:30:29.319
following me to retain ownership, or
was it fighting off the interlopers. I

1110
01:30:29.399 --> 01:30:33.479
reached my father almost as soon as
Kinsey did. We didn't need to speak.

1111
01:30:33.840 --> 01:30:36.800
I knew he was going to stay
there and fight it off if it

1112
01:30:36.880 --> 01:30:42.399
came our way. My job now
was to get my grandniece to safety.

1113
01:30:42.880 --> 01:30:46.479
A scream like nothing I'd ever heard
before echoed through the woods as more gunfire

1114
01:30:46.600 --> 01:30:53.119
pelted the behemoth. Kinsey stopped,
and she tried to turn around and look

1115
01:30:53.199 --> 01:30:56.720
back, but I wouldn't let her, and fire shot up my leg With

1116
01:30:56.800 --> 01:31:00.600
every step, my wrist ached,
and breathing hurt, and my head hurt.

1117
01:31:01.039 --> 01:31:06.119
But none of that mattered. This
was my reason for existence. My

1118
01:31:06.199 --> 01:31:11.239
parents had me so late in life
that I could be here on this day

1119
01:31:11.279 --> 01:31:15.560
to keep Kinsey safe, to keep
her from seeing the carnage behind us.

1120
01:31:16.159 --> 01:31:21.600
Another scream assaulted us. This time
it belonged to a man. I didn't

1121
01:31:21.600 --> 01:31:26.840
have to turn and look to know
what was happening. He was being torn

1122
01:31:27.039 --> 01:31:32.359
to pieces. Tormented cries mixed with
sounds of bones being crunched and bullets being

1123
01:31:32.439 --> 01:31:39.119
fired. My knees faltered and I
found myself falling face forward to the ground.

1124
01:31:39.760 --> 01:31:43.079
There were three men behind me,
my father, my brother, and

1125
01:31:43.199 --> 01:31:46.720
my nephew, and I loved them
all. There was no hoping it wouldn't

1126
01:31:46.760 --> 01:31:50.920
be this one or that. At
that moment, I knew there'd be another

1127
01:31:51.079 --> 01:31:58.199
funeral soon. Daddy Kinsey cried,
I will never forget the expression on that

1128
01:31:58.239 --> 01:32:02.199
poor child's face when I looked up
at her. In an instant, all

1129
01:32:02.279 --> 01:32:08.439
innocence was gone and her childhood was
lost forever because, Dear God, forgive

1130
01:32:08.560 --> 01:32:14.239
me, I had let her turn
around. More gunshots rang out. The

1131
01:32:14.279 --> 01:32:17.760
beast was screaming again, but this
time I heard real pain coming from it,

1132
01:32:17.960 --> 01:32:23.600
and I was glad. I wanted
it to die. I wanted it

1133
01:32:23.640 --> 01:32:27.960
to perish slowly in with as much
agony as my father and brother could put

1134
01:32:28.039 --> 01:32:31.279
on it. I managed to get
up onto my knees, but it was

1135
01:32:31.319 --> 01:32:36.239
as far as I was going,
every breath was stabbing pain in my side.

1136
01:32:36.720 --> 01:32:43.039
My ankle was swelling rapidly, and
bruises were forming everywhere. All I

1137
01:32:43.079 --> 01:32:46.680
could do was turn around and watch. And Kinsey climbed into my lap and

1138
01:32:46.760 --> 01:32:50.600
I held her face to my chest
while she cried. I couldn't let her

1139
01:32:50.600 --> 01:32:57.880
see what I was seeing. Derek's
body was straped over the law Kinsey had

1140
01:32:57.960 --> 01:33:01.279
hidden under, and Mike was dancing
on the beasts, emptying his gun into

1141
01:33:01.319 --> 01:33:06.000
it with every step. Dad was
moving down the hill toward it, ready

1142
01:33:06.039 --> 01:33:11.239
to take his turn. He couldn't
fire yet. Mike was too close,

1143
01:33:11.399 --> 01:33:14.920
but he knew it would only be
a few more steps before he too would

1144
01:33:14.920 --> 01:33:19.720
open fire and accept his fate.
The monster stood and roared, its fury

1145
01:33:19.840 --> 01:33:26.359
at the sky and raged by the
pitiful man creature whose bullets it somehow managed

1146
01:33:26.399 --> 01:33:31.640
to penetrate and spill its blood.
Our greatest moments, our saddest moments,

1147
01:33:31.720 --> 01:33:39.000
our worst moments? Why do we
always remember them in slow motion? What

1148
01:33:39.159 --> 01:33:45.239
could not have lasted more than thirty
seconds felt like hours. Mike moved ever

1149
01:33:45.319 --> 01:33:48.479
closer to the beast, and Dad
closed in as well, and the beast

1150
01:33:48.640 --> 01:33:56.760
erupted with one last mighty roar,
and it fell. The longest moment I

1151
01:33:56.880 --> 01:34:01.279
remember came when my father and brother
approached Derek. From my perch on the

1152
01:34:01.359 --> 01:34:06.600
hillside, I saw Dad's hand reach
down and feel for a pulse. Mike

1153
01:34:06.680 --> 01:34:12.199
stood frozen in place, waiting and
praying for an answer he knew he wouldn't

1154
01:34:12.239 --> 01:34:17.000
get, and Dad dropped his head
and the two men cried. I felt

1155
01:34:17.000 --> 01:34:21.720
my own tears begging for release,
but something inside me refused to set them

1156
01:34:21.840 --> 01:34:29.680
free. My memory beyond that point
is vague at best. I remember Kinsey

1157
01:34:29.760 --> 01:34:32.640
and I being helped onto the back
of an ATV, but where it came

1158
01:34:32.720 --> 01:34:38.640
from or who was driving it,
I couldn't say. Derek's body was brought

1159
01:34:38.680 --> 01:34:42.640
back to the house, but again
I have no idea how or by who.

1160
01:34:43.560 --> 01:34:49.119
Someone called Kinsey and I were taken
to the emergency room via ambulance.

1161
01:34:49.760 --> 01:34:56.880
Jesse rode with us. I was
grateful when the EMT told her to stop

1162
01:34:56.960 --> 01:35:02.199
asking me questions. He said my
ribs were probably broken and talking was painful.

1163
01:35:02.880 --> 01:35:08.800
He was right. Speaking was agony, more so because I had no

1164
01:35:08.880 --> 01:35:14.079
idea what to tell her than from
the physical pain it caused. She deserved

1165
01:35:14.119 --> 01:35:20.600
answers her husband was dead, her
youngest child was in shock. The medical

1166
01:35:20.640 --> 01:35:25.199
bills I received tell me that I
was in the hospital for two days.

1167
01:35:25.680 --> 01:35:30.640
I had multiple injuries that included cracked
ribs, a broken wrist and ankle,

1168
01:35:30.239 --> 01:35:35.960
multiple contusions, and a mile concussion. In the end, they bandaged me

1169
01:35:36.079 --> 01:35:40.479
and gave me a prescription for the
pain and sent me on my way.

1170
01:35:41.239 --> 01:35:46.560
I was too heavily medicated to attend
Derek's funeral. I wasn't there when Kenzie

1171
01:35:46.720 --> 01:35:53.119
told her story, I got a
second hand from my father. She said

1172
01:35:53.159 --> 01:35:56.920
that she was mad because she wanted
to sit with aunt's shadow, but her

1173
01:35:57.000 --> 01:36:00.439
dad made her go play with the
other kids. When the other kids wouldn't

1174
01:36:00.439 --> 01:36:03.359
play with her, she decided to
go out to the barn to see if

1175
01:36:03.359 --> 01:36:08.319
there were any new kittens to play
with, and while she was searching,

1176
01:36:08.640 --> 01:36:12.319
she heard a whistle. It came
from behind the barn, so she went

1177
01:36:12.359 --> 01:36:16.600
out there to investigate. That was
when she saw what she thought was a

1178
01:36:16.640 --> 01:36:21.600
big dog that she followed across the
pasture and into the woods. It wasn't

1179
01:36:21.680 --> 01:36:28.399
until the dog stood up on two
legs that she realized her mistake. Children

1180
01:36:28.600 --> 01:36:32.600
have no real relationship with time.
They haven't had to answer to it yet,

1181
01:36:32.800 --> 01:36:36.840
not the way that we adults do. She didn't know how long she

1182
01:36:36.960 --> 01:36:42.359
was out there, or the exact
order in which the events occurred, and

1183
01:36:42.439 --> 01:36:46.520
she only remembered being afraid and knowing
that she had to hide. She was

1184
01:36:46.560 --> 01:36:50.479
in her third hiding place when I
fell down the ridge and I found her.

1185
01:36:53.560 --> 01:36:57.359
The police had come that night.
They were taken down into the hollow

1186
01:36:57.399 --> 01:37:00.680
where Derek was killed, but the
body of the beast was gone. They

1187
01:37:00.760 --> 01:37:05.960
suggested it must have been a large
feral dog, after all, Kinsey had

1188
01:37:06.000 --> 01:37:12.920
described it as such. My father
chose not to argue. Mike would have

1189
01:37:12.920 --> 01:37:15.439
objected, but Dad put his hand
up to silence him, and that was

1190
01:37:15.600 --> 01:37:23.359
enough. Despite all my grandfather's safeguards, my entire family was aware, had

1191
01:37:23.399 --> 01:37:28.560
always been aware that something wasn't right
in the woods. Matt was the first

1192
01:37:28.560 --> 01:37:32.720
to admit it. He talked about
the night Juliana had died. He had

1193
01:37:32.720 --> 01:37:40.119
always stubbornly declared that he had seen
nothing, but that wasn't true. What

1194
01:37:40.239 --> 01:37:43.960
he saw when he went into the
woods looking for her was more than he

1195
01:37:44.000 --> 01:37:47.079
could describe, and he had to
run from the scene, and like me,

1196
01:37:47.319 --> 01:37:54.000
he berated himself for his cowardice.
If he'd been brave, maybe Julianna

1197
01:37:54.079 --> 01:38:00.239
could have been rescued. My father
assured him that he couldn't have saved Juliana

1198
01:38:00.319 --> 01:38:03.520
any more than he and Mike could
have kept Derek alive. It was a

1199
01:38:03.560 --> 01:38:08.560
little comfort to Matt, but it
allowed my other siblings to open up and

1200
01:38:08.600 --> 01:38:14.479
tell their own stories. None were
as horrifying as Mats, but all were

1201
01:38:14.640 --> 01:38:19.520
enough to make believers of everyone.
My father, at least was happy to

1202
01:38:19.560 --> 01:38:25.079
think that my mother had never known
nor had to worry about the well being

1203
01:38:25.079 --> 01:38:30.239
of her children. In that respect, that theory was disproving. When my

1204
01:38:30.319 --> 01:38:34.039
sister Jenny brought my breakfast up to
my room a few days after Derek's funeral,

1205
01:38:34.800 --> 01:38:39.399
I was sitting in a chair by
the east window. I had been

1206
01:38:39.439 --> 01:38:43.720
allowed to come home from the hospital
only on the condition that I not walk

1207
01:38:43.880 --> 01:38:46.560
up and down the stairs, so
I was essentially trapped in my room.

1208
01:38:47.680 --> 01:38:51.720
Being able to sit at the window
and soak in the sunlight was a little

1209
01:38:51.760 --> 01:38:58.359
compensation for my incarceration. And Jenny
put the tray of food on the table

1210
01:38:58.399 --> 01:39:01.000
beside me, and she helped me
as my seat so I could transfer it

1211
01:39:01.039 --> 01:39:05.600
to my lap. And then she
sat down and asked how I was feeling,

1212
01:39:06.000 --> 01:39:11.000
and she checked my temperature and fussed
over me in her big, sisterly

1213
01:39:11.079 --> 01:39:15.560
way. I in turn picked at
the plate of fried eggs and bacon and

1214
01:39:15.680 --> 01:39:19.119
toast and took a few SIPs of
orange juice before giving up and settling for

1215
01:39:19.199 --> 01:39:24.880
hot coffee with a splash of cream, just like Granddaddy used to drink it.

1216
01:39:26.000 --> 01:39:30.079
I have something for you, she
said, after tucking one of her

1217
01:39:30.079 --> 01:39:35.319
mother's crocheted blankets around my shoulders.
She reached into a pocket of her apron

1218
01:39:35.359 --> 01:39:41.199
and pulled out an envelope. Kate
and I found it in mom's jewelry box

1219
01:39:41.359 --> 01:39:45.119
yesterday, and she handed it to
me and written on it, and Mom's

1220
01:39:45.199 --> 01:39:53.079
precise handwriting was my name. I
looked up at Jinny questioningly, and she

1221
01:39:53.159 --> 01:39:58.840
shrugged and said, I guess you'd
better open it. It was a letter

1222
01:39:58.920 --> 01:40:03.439
that read shadow when you decided to
move so far away at such a young

1223
01:40:03.520 --> 01:40:08.600
age. I won't deny that I
was both hurt and worried for you.

1224
01:40:09.520 --> 01:40:14.560
I couldn't understand why you would make
such a decision. Your father will tell

1225
01:40:14.600 --> 01:40:16.880
you, if he'll admit to it, that I did a lot of crying

1226
01:40:16.920 --> 01:40:21.159
those first couple of years, I'd
hope that one day you would decide to

1227
01:40:21.199 --> 01:40:26.399
come home, And when your granddaddy
died, I was sure that you would.

1228
01:40:26.960 --> 01:40:30.600
I wouldn't let anyone else move into
his house because I believe that one

1229
01:40:30.680 --> 01:40:34.399
day you would come back and move
into it yourself. All these years,

1230
01:40:34.479 --> 01:40:41.159
I've kept it up for you,
waiting and hoping. I also wondered if

1231
01:40:41.199 --> 01:40:45.319
the day would come when you would
regret not being here. I saw the

1232
01:40:45.399 --> 01:40:48.239
sorrow you felt for not being with
your granddaddy when he died, and I

1233
01:40:48.439 --> 01:40:53.039
worried that you might someday feel the
same guilt for not being here for me

1234
01:40:53.119 --> 01:40:57.039
and your father. And then last
spring, while I was putting in my

1235
01:40:57.159 --> 01:41:00.359
garden, I began to feel as
though someone was watching me. I looked

1236
01:41:00.359 --> 01:41:04.680
around, but I couldn't see anyone, so I attributed it to an overactive

1237
01:41:04.720 --> 01:41:11.600
imagination. A few days later it
happened again, And a few days after

1238
01:41:11.640 --> 01:41:15.920
that, and a few days after
that, something had happened to Derek in

1239
01:41:15.960 --> 01:41:20.159
the woods a couple of weeks before
that. He wouldn't say what, or

1240
01:41:20.159 --> 01:41:26.439
even admit that anything did happen,
but I saw the change in him a

1241
01:41:26.600 --> 01:41:33.079
grandmother always knows. Yesterday it all
began to make sense. I was standing

1242
01:41:33.159 --> 01:41:38.399
at the kitchen sink, snapping beans
and getting them ready to can when I

1243
01:41:38.439 --> 01:41:42.840
happened to look out at my garden. You can't imagine what I saw,

1244
01:41:43.680 --> 01:41:47.479
or maybe you can. I don't
know if that's the reason you left,

1245
01:41:47.520 --> 01:41:53.760
but after your granddaddy's funeral, I'm
sure that's what has kept you away.

1246
01:41:53.800 --> 01:41:58.760
And I want you to know Shadow
that I know, I understand. In

1247
01:41:58.800 --> 01:42:06.479
fact, I'm glad these woods are
not safe. Love Mom. I looked

1248
01:42:06.560 --> 01:42:12.239
up at Jinny in shock. She
took the letter and read it herself.

1249
01:42:13.439 --> 01:42:16.039
We agreed not to tell our father
that our mother had been aware of the

1250
01:42:16.079 --> 01:42:21.199
monsters in our woods. He had
taken too much comfort in thinking that she'd

1251
01:42:21.239 --> 01:42:27.680
never known. I was reminded of
the night when Mom died. She pointed

1252
01:42:27.720 --> 01:42:32.399
toward her dresser once. That's where
her jewelry box sat. She was telling

1253
01:42:32.479 --> 01:42:36.159
me then that the letter was there. No. I tucked the letter into

1254
01:42:36.159 --> 01:42:43.039
my pocket of my robe. Three
weeks after that, I was packing my

1255
01:42:43.159 --> 01:42:46.600
bag to leave when Kenzie came into
my room. By the end, all

1256
01:42:46.640 --> 01:42:51.680
of her scratches and bruises had mended. I, on the other hand,

1257
01:42:51.840 --> 01:42:57.960
still bore quite a few yellow and
purple marks on my body. My right

1258
01:42:58.039 --> 01:43:00.840
hand was in a cast, and
my left leg was in a boot,

1259
01:43:00.199 --> 01:43:04.119
and there was little to do for
my ribs except to ice them periodically,

1260
01:43:04.279 --> 01:43:10.159
and I had long since quint doing
that. I'd been warned to stay in

1261
01:43:10.279 --> 01:43:14.479
bed and not drive until I was
fully mended. I don't know if that

1262
01:43:14.520 --> 01:43:17.239
was due to the headaches I was
still having from the concussion, or if

1263
01:43:17.319 --> 01:43:21.920
driving would somehow mean my bones would
take longer to heal, but I wanted

1264
01:43:23.000 --> 01:43:28.000
to go home. Kensey climbed up
on the bed and watched me quietly for

1265
01:43:28.000 --> 01:43:30.600
several minutes, and I smiled at
her, and I asked how she was

1266
01:43:30.680 --> 01:43:36.479
doing. Fine. She said,
Daddy says, you're leaving today. Yes,

1267
01:43:36.840 --> 01:43:41.359
I answered, I have to get
back to my job. You're a

1268
01:43:41.399 --> 01:43:47.920
professor, You're as she was struggling
with the word, I'm an associate professor.

1269
01:43:48.159 --> 01:43:53.079
I said for her, Yeah,
that's what Daddy said. She agreed.

1270
01:43:53.479 --> 01:43:59.279
Why can't you profess here? I
looked at her then. Her dark

1271
01:43:59.359 --> 01:44:03.680
eyes were full of pain that her
young life should never have experienced. Well,

1272
01:44:03.800 --> 01:44:09.039
there aren't any schools around here for
me to profess at I answered,

1273
01:44:09.079 --> 01:44:14.279
honestly, Daddy said you'd say that, but he said I should say thank

1274
01:44:14.319 --> 01:44:18.600
you anyway. It hadn't struck me
immediately, but when it did, it

1275
01:44:18.720 --> 01:44:25.319
was like a lightning bolt of realization
that shot through me. I stopped packing

1276
01:44:25.479 --> 01:44:28.800
clothes, and I stared at the
wall for a minute, trying to make

1277
01:44:29.039 --> 01:44:33.199
sense of her use of the word
daddy. Why was she speaking of her

1278
01:44:33.239 --> 01:44:39.800
father in the present tense. For
the briefest moment, I thought maybe Derek

1279
01:44:39.920 --> 01:44:44.239
was still alive, that I had
imagined or maybe dreamt all of this.

1280
01:44:45.079 --> 01:44:48.159
But I knew better. I'd seen
his body. I had a cast on

1281
01:44:48.319 --> 01:44:53.880
my wrist and a boot on my
leg to remind me Derek was dead.

1282
01:44:55.399 --> 01:45:00.359
You mean your grandfather, don't you, I suggested, thinking that perhaps she

1283
01:45:00.399 --> 01:45:06.680
had subconsciously substituted Mike as her father
figure. No, Daddy, she insisted.

1284
01:45:08.479 --> 01:45:13.479
He also said that I should give
you this message. She cocked her

1285
01:45:13.520 --> 01:45:17.399
head and screwed up her face as
she mentally went over the words before saying

1286
01:45:17.439 --> 01:45:23.479
them. He said, He'll keep
the woods. Now, now what does

1287
01:45:23.520 --> 01:45:30.119
that mean? Aunt Shadow? Driving
back to Saint Louis, I heard Kenzie's

1288
01:45:30.239 --> 01:45:35.640
little voice say over and over again, He'll keep the woods now. It

1289
01:45:35.840 --> 01:45:41.039
came at such a shock that I
was at a loss for words to answer

1290
01:45:41.079 --> 01:45:44.920
her. I had to stop the
sudden flow of tears before I could even

1291
01:45:44.960 --> 01:45:48.720
find my voice to do so.
In the end, I told her that

1292
01:45:48.840 --> 01:45:53.039
he was going to watch over the
woods and keep us all safe from the

1293
01:45:53.079 --> 01:45:58.319
monsters from now on. It was
the best answer I could give, and

1294
01:45:58.560 --> 01:46:03.960
I suppose it was the truth.
Dad drove down to Saint Louis the following

1295
01:46:04.199 --> 01:46:09.840
spring to spend a week with me. He'd aged drastically in the months since

1296
01:46:09.920 --> 01:46:15.279
Mom died. I suspected that it
would be the last time I saw him,

1297
01:46:15.319 --> 01:46:18.000
and with Derek gone, there was
no reason to give him the binder.

1298
01:46:19.000 --> 01:46:23.920
He suggested that I turned it into
a book. I didn't have the

1299
01:46:23.960 --> 01:46:28.359
heart to tell him that I was
already working on that. I took him

1300
01:46:28.359 --> 01:46:31.840
to breakfast at my favorite little cafe
down the road to celebrate the sale of

1301
01:46:31.840 --> 01:46:36.880
the dairy business. We took in
a Cardinals game, and we watched the

1302
01:46:38.000 --> 01:46:42.199
Legend of Boggy Creek on DVD,
and we laughed at the end when Bobby

1303
01:46:42.279 --> 01:46:46.319
Ford was attacked in the yard.
The attack itself wasn't funny, But if

1304
01:46:46.359 --> 01:46:50.039
you stop the video at the right
moment, you can see through the eyeholes

1305
01:46:50.119 --> 01:46:56.600
of the monster's masks to the face
of the man in the costume. Dad

1306
01:46:56.600 --> 01:47:00.399
told me that he hadn't seen any
activity of any sort since the previous fall.

1307
01:47:01.199 --> 01:47:05.039
What didn't surprise me, Derek was
always a man of his word.

1308
01:47:06.159 --> 01:47:11.199
When it was time for him to
go, he hugged me. I didn't

1309
01:47:11.199 --> 01:47:15.800
want to let go. We must
have stood there for a good fifteen minutes,

1310
01:47:15.960 --> 01:47:21.319
hugging and crying. On July twenty
seven, two thousand and two,

1311
01:47:21.760 --> 01:47:28.800
exactly forty eight years after my grandfather
made his first journal entry, my father

1312
01:47:28.960 --> 01:47:33.399
died peacefully in his sleep. For
once, the funeral was uneventful.