Alrighty, then let's get started here in the Minnesota goodbye with a fully loaded
email box of emails that I have not preread, so you're ready to find
out what happens. WHOA, that's how you know we're young and reckless.
Shut up. I honestly should. Honestly I really should. Yeah. All
right, here we go, new email for you, hot and fresh out
the kitchen. Here's some random questions for you guys, plus a new bit
suggestion if you make it through them all. Number one, organize from least
amount of brain power to the most. Which what is one of your favorite
smells? Um? I would say coffee. Coffee is one of my favorite
smells off the top of my head. I can change it later to a
cinnamon. There are certain I think mine or nostalgia smells, so I think
a fresh cut Hey, it's probably a topic. Yeah, there are certain
flowers and I should know, and they're probably like petunias or bagonia, something
like that. That my grandma always had hanging around her house, and that
there's a specific flower smell. It just brings up memories of her, even
though she's still alive. By the way, I just always think everyone gotcha,
I love it. What is something that you're scared of non emotional deep
version like she says, mine is lake fish. I hate him so much.
I'm terrified of a muskie coming up to bite my feet when I'm swimming.
Yeah, I make myself go to the DNR pond to the State Fair
for some exposure therapy to help myself feel bad for the fish. Something that
I'm scared of deep not so In other words, it can't be like I
don't know if you've got mugged one time. It can't be like whatever I
would say. Heights, I don't like heights. Heights really give me a
queasy, tingly feeling in my legs, and I don't like heights. I
don't. Yeah, I know, I don't like heights either. I I
mean, I don't like There are certain things that, like, they scare
me immediately, Like if I saw a snake. I've seen snakes so many
times on paths walking, they scare me. Mice would scare me, Spiders
like kind of standard things. But then I'm like, oh, it's a
spider, We'll get it out of the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
So it's not deep like you said. They say we have an ingrown
or whatever. Ingrained fear of mice and rats because back in our early ancestry
they brought disease. So rats and mice would bite us, we would die
of the plague or whatever. And so that's why we're afraid of little rats
and mice, because back in somewhere ingrained in our biology, we're afraid of
them. If you had to write a blank for dummies book, what would
it be? Mine would be Morning shows for Dummies. I think it's the
one thing that I know a whole lot about, and I don't think it'd
be very thick, but that's what I would write. You would write,
what, Sorry, morning shows? Radio? Morning shows for dummies. I
don't have a good one because I don't I'm not an expert on anything.
I would write a memoir about growing up in Indiana. Well, that sounds
great. Let me know when it's out. What was the first thing that
drew you to your mate after thinking that they were hot? Well, you
took my answer. Susan was very hot, and I remember my boss saying
you need to date her, and if you don't date her, I will,
And so we did. And my boss would have even though he was
ten years older than her and married. He would have dated her anyway,
they said, other than hot, other than hot, she was just very
sweet, just very sweet kind person. Jake's funny. He has an exact
kind of sense of humor I would look for in something. His sense of
humor is different from anyone I've ever been with. It's very it's almost dry.
It's very smart humor. That's attractive. Yeah, what's something you hope
your kids would say about you when you're not in the room. I would
hope they would say. I would hope they would say, he is a
great dad, and I know he loves me and spend a lot of time
with me. I think that would be the main thing. I just want
them to think. I just want them to think I'm a good mom,
like that they enjoy spending time with me, being around me. I don't
like. I don't pull energy from their lives. I add to it.
I don't know. Yeah, that's good. Good last question, potential new
bit. I love the favorite musical moment bit on the show. Would you
ever do a least favorite musical moment? I always think about it when I
hear Christmas songs. Sleigh Ride by Amy Grant and she goes you who,
I just hate it. Maybe other people have moments too, or I'm just
the worst, probably both. We actually did do a least favorite musical moment,
I think one time. If not, I'm gonna ask Jenny if we
did, because mine would probably be in the eminem song where he says something
like I guess that's why they call it window pane. We've done dumbest lyrics,
okay, but I think that that's what it would be, because I
can't imagine there's an actual music part. People hate of songs as often as
like dumb lyrics or I know it when I hear Obviously, you could say
almost any verbal breakdown where people just talk in the middle of a song,
like Britney Spear's Oops, I did it again. It's a classic now that
she drops the whatever in the ocean in the end, but it's also cringe
right, so it's like it's unnecessary to the song. It worked for the
music video, but it makes no sense in the song. They're like,
wait, you went down and got it for me? Well, I thought
the old lady threw in the ocean. Then will bibe a window and good
or whatever? And then she goes you should well you shouldn't have. Oops.
I that's like such a cringe. But now it's so part of the
song. But I'm like, why was that in the main song? That
makes sense for the music video. But then I think of like I hate
when they change voices to like sound like Chipmunk. So I always hate that
fucking lonely song by a con stupid crazy frog. Gotta hated those songs.
Next one about yesterday's podcast, Dave, how did you forget about Julia Brennan
Pure love for one of the most beautiful songs? Funny we just played that
today. I did not forget about her. I might have suggested that I
haven't thought about her in a while, but I haven't. Definitely not forgotten
about her. She's a wonderful person and a very talented musician. Well my
pick is that one in Tim mcgrad don't take the Girl, or one of
his other songs. We're talking about most beautiful songs when we did that on
the show yesterday. Next one, Hello Morning Show family, you mentioned the
dicon animal stopped working for you after a while. I experienced this and found
out and need to clean the filters. Look it up on YouTube. They'll
show you how. I also needed to order a new battery for it after
I had it a few years. It was like a new vacuum. I'm
with Susan. The Dicon animal is an amazing vacuum. Love listening to all
of my daily dog walks and find myself a green with you and laughing out
loud thank you for bringing sunshine to my day. From Denise, I don't
thank you. Thank mine was that fancy one like the dice and animal.
I don't know what was mine or what mine was, but I can tell
you I did not think to buy a new battery. I threw it in
the trash. You threw the whole the vacuum in the trash. Yeah,
Susan loves hers, and I think I told you. The neighbor was over
a couple of weeks ago to Sue to show it off. Then they trotted
over across the street to my vacuum up the neighbor's dog hair. It's kind
of crazy. Please don't use my name. I'm writing it to finally talk
about a topic that's been bothering for a while now. Every time it gets
brought up on the radio, it makes me cringe. I'm talking about the
negative stigma around herpies. I've had oral herpies ever since I was eighteen.
One of my first boyfriends ever gave it to me. I've gotten two outbreaks
ever, the last one being eight years ago. I'm in my thirties.
It makes me so incredibly sad and takes a major hit on my self esteem
and self worth when I hear people deciding not to be with someone because of
it. Herpies has such a negative stigma. It's a bump on your lip
that goes away in two weeks. That's it. It doesn't cause other health
issues, it's not life threatening. I just don't get it. More than
half of the people in the US have been exposed to the virus, and
only twenty to forty percent of people actually developed cold source or outbreaks. On
a personal level, it's very difficult for me to admit to a partner that
I have it, mainly because I've only had two outbreaks in my entire life.
I know that might be terrible to me, But I hear about the
negative stigma and all the stories about people rejected because of it. Can you
blame me? It makes me feel like a worthless person and that no one
will ever want me or be with me. Because of the two outbreaks I've
ever had, I've come to learn what triggers them, and it's worked for
me. I hope the stigma goes away, because yes, it is a
lifelong virus, but truly not a big deal. People only make it a
big deal. Thanks guys, love you as always. I really didn't think
you were going to say oral herpes because I don't think that oral herpes has
the stigma that genital herpes does. If you have a cold source, sure
people will point out my good herpes, But so I think that there's that.
But what we talked about yesterday, and what we talk about anytime we
say herpes is usually genital like it's not. But I understand how that still,
if you have it, would take a hit on you. I get
it because it's something you can't control. But I think we actually even addressed
that yesterday. I even said it's such a gross word. It's so unfair
to people like get it if they're getting it from people they don't know,
it's so it sucks. I actually said that that sucks that there's such a
negative like connection to it. But I do think genital is different than oral,
and I think that, yeah, I feel bad for someone, but
I also understand, like my roommate Abby, that guy being such an amazing
guy and telling her he had it, and she didn't just say oh gross.
She literally went to her doctor and had an educated conversation and then she
made her decision. And I know that that's unfortunate, but that's kind of
you base your decision on who you're going to date on lots of things.
So yeah, absolutely true, and I think that it is unfair, but
I don't know that it's going to change. And I think that is probably
one of the things that I'm not going to say your name, but I
will address this to you. I don't know how you're going to change that.
I mean, I wish it would, but I don't know that it
will. Um I will say again, I would say that general herpes is
scarier to me than oral herpes. I've never had either one, and I
think that in my family, nobody mom, Dad's siblings, my children have
never gotten a cold sore. And I don't know if we have like a
more powerful immunity to it or we've just been luckier. My mom has has.
Yeah, it's not uncommon. No, I don't see him that often
anymore. I wonder if there's like better drug treatment. Somebody brought up a
drug yesterday that I mispronounced that makes them shorter lived and less severe dormant.
Maybe my mom. Yeah, I was gonna say, I haven't seen my
mom with a quote unquote outbreak. I guess in fifteen years, like it's
been a very long time. Next one, somebody sends in a complete photo
gallery of all their vacuuming devices, So let's dive in. My husband loves
a good vacuum. We moved and he gifted himself a new Dyson. We
already got two, although one is on its last legs, so he could
have the latest wood floor cleaning system of version. It's got a laser beam
and a soft pad to see and wipe up all the dust and dog hair.
You would not believe how much is on your floor until you zoom around
with a laser beam to illuminate it Allay, I love my carpet cleaner.
I meant, I mean I keep meaning to put it away, but my
kid keeps finding anything squeezable that I haven't managed to hide and oozing it all
over the carpet. See below for our vacuum inspiration. The one filled with
white powder is baking soda that I sprinkled to soak up extra hair gel my
son poured on the floor. And so they have several different carpet cleaning and
the one that they use is the middle one is the dicing animal, and
that's the one that Susan hassyeah I believe, so thank you for that one.
It's funny how people get so passionate about their vacuums. Hello, Dave,
my favorite. It's the Dave Ryan show. Fallon, Well, she's
fallon Jenny, Damn girl, you're kicking ass and taking names in the last
year about the amazing job and Drake you silly and fun and uplifting addition to
the show. So I was looking for a parody you did back in the
day. I did believe Corey Folly actually did it, and I was hoping
that you could that I could get a copy of it. It was a
remake of the song don't You by the Pussycat Dolls. What was it?
Foopa? Oh? Don't you wish your girlfriend had a footpa like me?
Don't you wish your girlfriend Wade two eighty three, don't you. I still
want to play this for a friend of mine. Is it possible you guys
might still have it somewhere. I can ask Jenny. I'm gonna write Jenny
right now. Foopa song? Yeah, Corey Folly did that? I mean
eighteen years or so good. I would imagine if it's available, it's on
We have like a parody song page on iHeartRadio. I think you type in
Dave Ryan Show parodies, and any parody song we have is already on there.
So if it's not there, it probably somehow was deleted in the system.
I will look for if I can find it, then I will send
it to you. If not, it could be I don't know some of
those things got lost. Thanks guys. I absolutely love all of you and
Fallon. You are absolutely amazing. I love the new podcast. I love
that you do the show when Dave is gone. I like that you take
no ish and you know how to give it back. You're a badass.
I look forward you're listening to my podcast every day. That is from Mel.
Thank you. Mel. Now you really loft me hanging at the beginning,
and then you really came back around I think that was her way of
like surprising you, I know, like kind of like telling, like acting
you like you forgot somebody's birthday. Yeah, and then all of a sudden,
you have a big leg a brand new Volvo in the driveway. I
have come to terms with it. Took a while that I am not everyone's
favorite, you know. I mean, there are some people that actually just
don't like me at all. It's very hurtful. But oh all my time,
every day, I know. I thought maybe I was that person to
Mel maybe listen to the podcast. I'm so bummed I missed the segment this
more embarrassing things kids say. I got a good one from my now thirteen
year old Okay, when he was four, so he asked if he'd go
potty in the backyard. It was a fun new thing since we moved recently
to a house with our own yard. Anyway, I walk outside to find
him a squat in the yard taking a shit. Oh my god, these
are her words. I asked, what are you doing? We poop in
toilets? He said, wow, that dog poops in they yard, so
he thought he could too, since I let him pee outside already. This
same kid also pooped in the woodchips at a park during my older daughter's baseball
game. God, one of the other kids he was playing with ran over
to his mom sitting next to me, said, little Johnny, but used
my kid's name. Little Johnny pooped in the park. Mommy pooped. It
was a game of third ish graders, so all the parents of bowl teams
and obviously all the kids heard this go down on the sidelines. Oh my
god. My husband literally picked up the child football style from the park took
him home immediately. Easily the most and most embarrassing parent moment ever. I
didn't found out when I got home that night that Hubby didn't pick up the
poop before they left. I totally thought he did. He should have.
Both of these poop stories happened the same summary has since learned not to do
that. Happy hump Day, and don't use my name. Don't use my
name. I don't have a poop story from many of my kids. No,
I don't yet. I have time. I have time. I'm gonna
tell you one quick poop story that happened when I was a kid though in
our house in Colorado, underneath the front porch. If you came in the
backside of the front porch. It was an opening, a hollow like under
a stair. You think about your stairs at home, there's a hollow,
a space for storage underneath your stairs. We had that on the concrete steps
outside of my house, so it was small enough for like a kid to
walk into, and one of our neighbor kids did and went in there and
took a poop. And to this day, I still don't like to go
in there because I grew up knowing that a kid pooped in there. And
to this day there is no remnant of any kind under there, But to
this day I can still smell the smell and get that ikey feeling. I
don't like going under there. Yeah, I don't blame you. Yeah,
hut it out at the time. No, I don't know that anybody did.
I think anybody ever told an adult. I think it just stayed back
there until it kind of went away. Yeah, God, Okay. Can
I just say that people are not given Drake enough credit? He did get
Worldwide Web wrong. We were asking Drake questions a little while ago, and
I'm not gonna lie. I said Drake wouldn't know the answer every single time.
On another note, Dave, I will totally drive you to that motorcycle
place. How rude of Jenny and Fallon. We will be a little late
though, I will leave now. It'll take about twenty four a showers.
Yeah, you said you'd pay the gas. Right there you go, And
since I'm doing you a solid, you put me up a five star hotel
and let me stay in your basement. Right. I did find somebody who's
one of my Scout mom friends, and I'm friends with her husband and her
kid, and they were in Scouts and she heard it and she said,
I'll drive you down there. So we're all set ps. Jury Duty is
amazing. We've been talking about this morning. It's hilarious. So I'd be
lying if I said it didn't make me tear up at some point. That
is Jenny from Arizona. Jenny, I'd love to hear. How you know
to listen to our show at Arizona. Maybe you moved from here, or
maybe you discovered it on iHeartRadio. Jury Duty. Fallon brought it up.
We've all watched episode one. It's great. It is. It's funny and
awkward and weird. Okay, we're getting down to the last of them.
Here. Let me check my time. I think we're doing okay. Oh
my god. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year.
I've yet to pass gas in front of this beautiful man. Until then.
Me and my boyfriend were having a nice nooner and he's down there and enjoying
himself, and he was using his hand and the pinky fever finger was traveling
elsewhere. Okay, what a detailed email it is, And unknowingly I accidentally
farted. Oh my god. I was mortified, blessed. It is hard.
He didn't stop, made sure I finished. Well, he comes up
to me. We started. I started to apologize over and over again.
He's like reassuring me it didn't phase him, and he doesn't care. Wow,
he's either a wonderful man or he's six six six six six six.
I mean he has pink eye now, but that's a whole different story.
As I am on my way back to work, I get a text from
my boyfriend. It stated, FYI, I didn't know you farted until you
said something. I almost died. Oh. I thought you all would appreciate
my almost embarrassing moment of some sexy free time, didn't Somebody write in a
story a few years ago, and I'm going to ask Jenny if we still
have it, hold on embarrassing. I'm gonna write down embarrassing sex story.
And I gotta write it carefully because I made a note yesterday on my piece
of paper here and I could not read it class like I've done that before,
sing sex story classic. It was about a woman who wrote in and
she had a assist or something on her lady parts that erupted during the lovin
and he came up and he vomited all over her. Do you remember that?
Yeah? I almost feel like that could stay in the in the past
is so gross. No, I'm going to tell that story your next formal
event. When is your next formal formal event? Star party? Star Party?
Perfect? Yeah, I'm gonna get on stage and have this woman tell
this story about the erupting to be completely silent in the whole. Oh God,
And last one, am I the weirdo? Every time I order my
breakfast bagel at Bruger's, I get all the looks cinnamon sugar bagel with strawberry
and salmon. Oh, you're sick to me, it's normal, But every
time the bagel ardest cashier, or at least one of the customer looks at
me funny. I love it, so whatever. I mean, you are
sick, though, thanks for having me on to let us some steam.
What is your normal thing that is not normal? Buy for now from AJ
That is you know what I'm going to tell you. I think we might
save that for a topic on the radio. What is your normal thing that's
not normal? We might put this on Facebook. Off the top of my
head, we've had something similar that, like with a Weird Wednesday, which
is kind of a similar thing with a different with a different title. It's
the thing that you do that is normal to you, but it's weird to
other people. We called it weird Wednesday. I think it's pretty similar.
Unless you want it to be specifically food related, then that's different. I
could see you eating that. You wouldn't even eat a salad yesterday. I
couldn't believe it, because I feel like you're the kind of person, Dave
that even if something's gross, you'll finish it. I do, Yeah,
but you did not finish that salad. Yes, well, I'm safe.
Half for today? Oh yeah, it's Halsey's. Yeah, I got half
today and it's not even a good salad. Didn't just throw it away.
No, I gotta have something moderately healthy. But you hate that. Get
a salad downstairs that you actually like. No, I can't. I don't.
I don't like wasting food. I don't. I don't. I'm I'm
a I grew up during the Great Depression. I know you still carried that
with you. I do. Yeah, yeah, um. I put cake
in a bowl and pour milk over it, because milk and cake is delicious.
But that's about the weirdest I get with food. I think. Yeah,
I can't think. I think super weird to do. But I will
say this, you're sick for the fifteenth time that I've said it. Cinnamon
sugar bagel at Brugers is to me perfect. To me, it is like
the most perfect bagel. It's my favorite bagel there. You wouldn't put salmon
on it, though, No, I don't like salmon anyway. Oh,
I love salmon, smoked salmon. I don't like smoked salmon. I like
cooked salmon that like like you know, but I don't like smoked salmon.
You're right. I can eat an entire like bowls. Oh, I'm gonna
bring that in tomorrow smoked salmon. That is it for the Minnesota goodbuye.
Send your emails to Ryan Show at KDWB dot com