WEBVTT

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Alrighty, then let's get started here
in the Minnesota goodbye with a fully loaded

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email box of emails that I have
not preread, so you're ready to find

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out what happens. WHOA, that's
how you know we're young and reckless.

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Shut up. I honestly should.
Honestly I really should. Yeah. All

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right, here we go, new
email for you, hot and fresh out

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the kitchen. Here's some random questions
for you guys, plus a new bit

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suggestion if you make it through them
all. Number one, organize from least

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amount of brain power to the most. Which what is one of your favorite

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smells? Um? I would say
coffee. Coffee is one of my favorite

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smells off the top of my head. I can change it later to a

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cinnamon. There are certain I think
mine or nostalgia smells, so I think

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a fresh cut Hey, it's probably
a topic. Yeah, there are certain

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flowers and I should know, and
they're probably like petunias or bagonia, something

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like that. That my grandma always
had hanging around her house, and that

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there's a specific flower smell. It
just brings up memories of her, even

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though she's still alive. By the
way, I just always think everyone gotcha,

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I love it. What is something
that you're scared of non emotional deep

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version like she says, mine is
lake fish. I hate him so much.

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I'm terrified of a muskie coming up
to bite my feet when I'm swimming.

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Yeah, I make myself go to
the DNR pond to the State Fair

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for some exposure therapy to help myself
feel bad for the fish. Something that

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I'm scared of deep not so In
other words, it can't be like I

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don't know if you've got mugged one
time. It can't be like whatever I

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would say. Heights, I don't
like heights. Heights really give me a

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queasy, tingly feeling in my legs, and I don't like heights. I

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don't. Yeah, I know,
I don't like heights either. I I

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mean, I don't like There are
certain things that, like, they scare

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me immediately, Like if I saw
a snake. I've seen snakes so many

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times on paths walking, they scare
me. Mice would scare me, Spiders

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like kind of standard things. But
then I'm like, oh, it's a

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spider, We'll get it out of
the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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So it's not deep like you said. They say we have an ingrown

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or whatever. Ingrained fear of mice
and rats because back in our early ancestry

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they brought disease. So rats and
mice would bite us, we would die

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of the plague or whatever. And
so that's why we're afraid of little rats

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and mice, because back in somewhere
ingrained in our biology, we're afraid of

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them. If you had to write
a blank for dummies book, what would

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it be? Mine would be Morning
shows for Dummies. I think it's the

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one thing that I know a whole
lot about, and I don't think it'd

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be very thick, but that's what
I would write. You would write,

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what, Sorry, morning shows?
Radio? Morning shows for dummies. I

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don't have a good one because I
don't I'm not an expert on anything.

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I would write a memoir about growing
up in Indiana. Well, that sounds

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great. Let me know when it's
out. What was the first thing that

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drew you to your mate after thinking
that they were hot? Well, you

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took my answer. Susan was very
hot, and I remember my boss saying

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you need to date her, and
if you don't date her, I will,

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And so we did. And my
boss would have even though he was

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ten years older than her and married. He would have dated her anyway,

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they said, other than hot,
other than hot, she was just very

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sweet, just very sweet kind person. Jake's funny. He has an exact

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kind of sense of humor I would
look for in something. His sense of

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humor is different from anyone I've ever
been with. It's very it's almost dry.

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It's very smart humor. That's attractive. Yeah, what's something you hope

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your kids would say about you when
you're not in the room. I would

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hope they would say. I would
hope they would say, he is a

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great dad, and I know he
loves me and spend a lot of time

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with me. I think that would
be the main thing. I just want

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them to think. I just want
them to think I'm a good mom,

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like that they enjoy spending time with
me, being around me. I don't

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like. I don't pull energy from
their lives. I add to it.

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I don't know. Yeah, that's
good. Good last question, potential new

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bit. I love the favorite musical
moment bit on the show. Would you

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ever do a least favorite musical moment? I always think about it when I

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hear Christmas songs. Sleigh Ride by
Amy Grant and she goes you who,

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I just hate it. Maybe other
people have moments too, or I'm just

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the worst, probably both. We
actually did do a least favorite musical moment,

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I think one time. If not, I'm gonna ask Jenny if we

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did, because mine would probably be
in the eminem song where he says something

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like I guess that's why they call
it window pane. We've done dumbest lyrics,

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okay, but I think that that's
what it would be, because I

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can't imagine there's an actual music part. People hate of songs as often as

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like dumb lyrics or I know it
when I hear Obviously, you could say

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almost any verbal breakdown where people just
talk in the middle of a song,

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like Britney Spear's Oops, I did
it again. It's a classic now that

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she drops the whatever in the ocean
in the end, but it's also cringe

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right, so it's like it's unnecessary
to the song. It worked for the

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music video, but it makes no
sense in the song. They're like,

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wait, you went down and got
it for me? Well, I thought

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the old lady threw in the ocean. Then will bibe a window and good

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or whatever? And then she goes
you should well you shouldn't have. Oops.

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I that's like such a cringe.
But now it's so part of the

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song. But I'm like, why
was that in the main song? That

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makes sense for the music video.
But then I think of like I hate

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when they change voices to like sound
like Chipmunk. So I always hate that

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fucking lonely song by a con stupid
crazy frog. Gotta hated those songs.

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Next one about yesterday's podcast, Dave, how did you forget about Julia Brennan

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Pure love for one of the most
beautiful songs? Funny we just played that

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today. I did not forget about
her. I might have suggested that I

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haven't thought about her in a while, but I haven't. Definitely not forgotten

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about her. She's a wonderful person
and a very talented musician. Well my

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pick is that one in Tim mcgrad
don't take the Girl, or one of

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his other songs. We're talking about
most beautiful songs when we did that on

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the show yesterday. Next one,
Hello Morning Show family, you mentioned the

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dicon animal stopped working for you after
a while. I experienced this and found

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out and need to clean the filters. Look it up on YouTube. They'll

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show you how. I also needed
to order a new battery for it after

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I had it a few years.
It was like a new vacuum. I'm

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with Susan. The Dicon animal is
an amazing vacuum. Love listening to all

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of my daily dog walks and find
myself a green with you and laughing out

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loud thank you for bringing sunshine to
my day. From Denise, I don't

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thank you. Thank mine was that
fancy one like the dice and animal.

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I don't know what was mine or
what mine was, but I can tell

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you I did not think to buy
a new battery. I threw it in

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the trash. You threw the whole
the vacuum in the trash. Yeah,

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Susan loves hers, and I think
I told you. The neighbor was over

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a couple of weeks ago to Sue
to show it off. Then they trotted

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over across the street to my vacuum
up the neighbor's dog hair. It's kind

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of crazy. Please don't use my
name. I'm writing it to finally talk

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about a topic that's been bothering for
a while now. Every time it gets

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brought up on the radio, it
makes me cringe. I'm talking about the

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negative stigma around herpies. I've had
oral herpies ever since I was eighteen.

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One of my first boyfriends ever gave
it to me. I've gotten two outbreaks

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ever, the last one being eight
years ago. I'm in my thirties.

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It makes me so incredibly sad and
takes a major hit on my self esteem

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and self worth when I hear people
deciding not to be with someone because of

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it. Herpies has such a negative
stigma. It's a bump on your lip

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that goes away in two weeks.
That's it. It doesn't cause other health

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issues, it's not life threatening.
I just don't get it. More than

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half of the people in the US
have been exposed to the virus, and

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only twenty to forty percent of people
actually developed cold source or outbreaks. On

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a personal level, it's very difficult
for me to admit to a partner that

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I have it, mainly because I've
only had two outbreaks in my entire life.

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I know that might be terrible to
me, But I hear about the

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negative stigma and all the stories about
people rejected because of it. Can you

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blame me? It makes me feel
like a worthless person and that no one

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will ever want me or be with
me. Because of the two outbreaks I've

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ever had, I've come to learn
what triggers them, and it's worked for

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me. I hope the stigma goes
away, because yes, it is a

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lifelong virus, but truly not a
big deal. People only make it a

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big deal. Thanks guys, love
you as always. I really didn't think

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you were going to say oral herpes
because I don't think that oral herpes has

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the stigma that genital herpes does.
If you have a cold source, sure

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people will point out my good herpes, But so I think that there's that.

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But what we talked about yesterday,
and what we talk about anytime we

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say herpes is usually genital like it's
not. But I understand how that still,

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if you have it, would take
a hit on you. I get

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it because it's something you can't control. But I think we actually even addressed

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that yesterday. I even said it's
such a gross word. It's so unfair

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to people like get it if they're
getting it from people they don't know,

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it's so it sucks. I actually
said that that sucks that there's such a

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negative like connection to it. But
I do think genital is different than oral,

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and I think that, yeah,
I feel bad for someone, but

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I also understand, like my roommate
Abby, that guy being such an amazing

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guy and telling her he had it, and she didn't just say oh gross.

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She literally went to her doctor and
had an educated conversation and then she

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made her decision. And I know
that that's unfortunate, but that's kind of

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you base your decision on who you're
going to date on lots of things.

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So yeah, absolutely true, and
I think that it is unfair, but

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I don't know that it's going to
change. And I think that is probably

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one of the things that I'm not
going to say your name, but I

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will address this to you. I
don't know how you're going to change that.

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I mean, I wish it would, but I don't know that it

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will. Um I will say again, I would say that general herpes is

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scarier to me than oral herpes.
I've never had either one, and I

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think that in my family, nobody
mom, Dad's siblings, my children have

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never gotten a cold sore. And
I don't know if we have like a

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more powerful immunity to it or we've
just been luckier. My mom has has.

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Yeah, it's not uncommon. No, I don't see him that often

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anymore. I wonder if there's like
better drug treatment. Somebody brought up a

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drug yesterday that I mispronounced that makes
them shorter lived and less severe dormant.

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Maybe my mom. Yeah, I
was gonna say, I haven't seen my

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mom with a quote unquote outbreak.
I guess in fifteen years, like it's

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been a very long time. Next
one, somebody sends in a complete photo

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gallery of all their vacuuming devices,
So let's dive in. My husband loves

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a good vacuum. We moved and
he gifted himself a new Dyson. We

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already got two, although one is
on its last legs, so he could

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have the latest wood floor cleaning system
of version. It's got a laser beam

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and a soft pad to see and
wipe up all the dust and dog hair.

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You would not believe how much is
on your floor until you zoom around

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with a laser beam to illuminate it
Allay, I love my carpet cleaner.

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I meant, I mean I keep
meaning to put it away, but my

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kid keeps finding anything squeezable that I
haven't managed to hide and oozing it all

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over the carpet. See below for
our vacuum inspiration. The one filled with

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white powder is baking soda that I
sprinkled to soak up extra hair gel my

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son poured on the floor. And
so they have several different carpet cleaning and

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the one that they use is the
middle one is the dicing animal, and

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that's the one that Susan hassyeah I
believe, so thank you for that one.

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It's funny how people get so passionate
about their vacuums. Hello, Dave,

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my favorite. It's the Dave Ryan
show. Fallon, Well, she's

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fallon Jenny, Damn girl, you're
kicking ass and taking names in the last

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year about the amazing job and Drake
you silly and fun and uplifting addition to

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the show. So I was looking
for a parody you did back in the

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day. I did believe Corey Folly
actually did it, and I was hoping

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that you could that I could get
a copy of it. It was a

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remake of the song don't You by
the Pussycat Dolls. What was it?

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Foopa? Oh? Don't you wish
your girlfriend had a footpa like me?

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Don't you wish your girlfriend Wade two
eighty three, don't you. I still

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want to play this for a friend
of mine. Is it possible you guys

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might still have it somewhere. I
can ask Jenny. I'm gonna write Jenny

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right now. Foopa song? Yeah, Corey Folly did that? I mean

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eighteen years or so good. I
would imagine if it's available, it's on

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We have like a parody song page
on iHeartRadio. I think you type in

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Dave Ryan Show parodies, and any
parody song we have is already on there.

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So if it's not there, it
probably somehow was deleted in the system.

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I will look for if I can
find it, then I will send

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it to you. If not,
it could be I don't know some of

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those things got lost. Thanks guys. I absolutely love all of you and

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Fallon. You are absolutely amazing.
I love the new podcast. I love

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that you do the show when Dave
is gone. I like that you take

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no ish and you know how to
give it back. You're a badass.

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I look forward you're listening to my
podcast every day. That is from Mel.

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Thank you. Mel. Now you
really loft me hanging at the beginning,

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and then you really came back around
I think that was her way of

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like surprising you, I know,
like kind of like telling, like acting

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you like you forgot somebody's birthday.
Yeah, and then all of a sudden,

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you have a big leg a brand
new Volvo in the driveway. I

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have come to terms with it.
Took a while that I am not everyone's

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favorite, you know. I mean, there are some people that actually just

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don't like me at all. It's
very hurtful. But oh all my time,

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every day, I know. I
thought maybe I was that person to

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Mel maybe listen to the podcast.
I'm so bummed I missed the segment this

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more embarrassing things kids say. I
got a good one from my now thirteen

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year old Okay, when he was
four, so he asked if he'd go

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potty in the backyard. It was
a fun new thing since we moved recently

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to a house with our own yard. Anyway, I walk outside to find

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him a squat in the yard taking
a shit. Oh my god, these

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are her words. I asked,
what are you doing? We poop in

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toilets? He said, wow,
that dog poops in they yard, so

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he thought he could too, since
I let him pee outside already. This

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same kid also pooped in the woodchips
at a park during my older daughter's baseball

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game. God, one of the
other kids he was playing with ran over

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to his mom sitting next to me, said, little Johnny, but used

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my kid's name. Little Johnny pooped
in the park. Mommy pooped. It

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was a game of third ish graders, so all the parents of bowl teams

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and obviously all the kids heard this
go down on the sidelines. Oh my

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god. My husband literally picked up
the child football style from the park took

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him home immediately. Easily the most
and most embarrassing parent moment ever. I

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didn't found out when I got home
that night that Hubby didn't pick up the

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poop before they left. I totally
thought he did. He should have.

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Both of these poop stories happened the
same summary has since learned not to do

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that. Happy hump Day, and
don't use my name. Don't use my

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name. I don't have a poop
story from many of my kids. No,

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I don't yet. I have time. I have time. I'm gonna

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tell you one quick poop story that
happened when I was a kid though in

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our house in Colorado, underneath the
front porch. If you came in the

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backside of the front porch. It
was an opening, a hollow like under

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a stair. You think about your
stairs at home, there's a hollow,

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a space for storage underneath your stairs. We had that on the concrete steps

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outside of my house, so it
was small enough for like a kid to

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00:15:37.440 --> 00:15:39.639
walk into, and one of our
neighbor kids did and went in there and

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took a poop. And to this
day, I still don't like to go

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in there because I grew up knowing
that a kid pooped in there. And

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00:15:52.519 --> 00:15:58.320
to this day there is no remnant
of any kind under there, But to

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00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:03.039
this day I can still smell the
smell and get that ikey feeling. I

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00:16:03.120 --> 00:16:04.720
don't like going under there. Yeah, I don't blame you. Yeah,

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00:16:06.840 --> 00:16:08.679
hut it out at the time.
No, I don't know that anybody did.

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00:16:08.679 --> 00:16:11.240
I think anybody ever told an adult. I think it just stayed back

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there until it kind of went away. Yeah, God, Okay. Can

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00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:19.720
I just say that people are not
given Drake enough credit? He did get

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00:16:19.759 --> 00:16:23.480
Worldwide Web wrong. We were asking
Drake questions a little while ago, and

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I'm not gonna lie. I said
Drake wouldn't know the answer every single time.

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On another note, Dave, I
will totally drive you to that motorcycle

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00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:33.919
place. How rude of Jenny and
Fallon. We will be a little late

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00:16:33.960 --> 00:16:36.960
though, I will leave now.
It'll take about twenty four a showers.

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00:16:37.159 --> 00:16:38.960
Yeah, you said you'd pay the
gas. Right there you go, And

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00:16:40.080 --> 00:16:42.080
since I'm doing you a solid,
you put me up a five star hotel

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00:16:42.120 --> 00:16:48.639
and let me stay in your basement. Right. I did find somebody who's

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00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:52.519
one of my Scout mom friends,
and I'm friends with her husband and her

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00:16:52.600 --> 00:16:53.879
kid, and they were in Scouts
and she heard it and she said,

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00:16:53.879 --> 00:16:56.840
I'll drive you down there. So
we're all set ps. Jury Duty is

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00:16:56.840 --> 00:17:00.360
amazing. We've been talking about this
morning. It's hilarious. So I'd be

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00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:03.919
lying if I said it didn't make
me tear up at some point. That

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00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:07.079
is Jenny from Arizona. Jenny,
I'd love to hear. How you know

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00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:08.720
to listen to our show at Arizona. Maybe you moved from here, or

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00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:14.160
maybe you discovered it on iHeartRadio.
Jury Duty. Fallon brought it up.

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We've all watched episode one. It's
great. It is. It's funny and

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awkward and weird. Okay, we're
getting down to the last of them.

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00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:26.680
Here. Let me check my time. I think we're doing okay. Oh

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00:17:26.759 --> 00:17:30.079
my god. My boyfriend and I
have been dating for over a year.

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00:17:30.160 --> 00:17:34.599
I've yet to pass gas in front
of this beautiful man. Until then.

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00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:41.759
Me and my boyfriend were having a
nice nooner and he's down there and enjoying

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00:17:41.839 --> 00:17:45.400
himself, and he was using his
hand and the pinky fever finger was traveling

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00:17:45.440 --> 00:17:49.119
elsewhere. Okay, what a detailed
email it is, And unknowingly I accidentally

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00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:52.279
farted. Oh my god. I
was mortified, blessed. It is hard.

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00:17:52.279 --> 00:17:56.880
He didn't stop, made sure I
finished. Well, he comes up

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00:17:56.920 --> 00:17:59.599
to me. We started. I
started to apologize over and over again.

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00:17:59.640 --> 00:18:03.880
He's like reassuring me it didn't phase
him, and he doesn't care. Wow,

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00:18:03.000 --> 00:18:07.480
he's either a wonderful man or he's
six six six six six six.

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I mean he has pink eye now, but that's a whole different story.

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00:18:11.319 --> 00:18:14.400
As I am on my way back
to work, I get a text from

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00:18:14.440 --> 00:18:18.400
my boyfriend. It stated, FYI, I didn't know you farted until you

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00:18:18.480 --> 00:18:22.720
said something. I almost died.
Oh. I thought you all would appreciate

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00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:26.799
my almost embarrassing moment of some sexy
free time, didn't Somebody write in a

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00:18:26.920 --> 00:18:33.000
story a few years ago, and
I'm going to ask Jenny if we still

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00:18:33.039 --> 00:18:36.920
have it, hold on embarrassing.
I'm gonna write down embarrassing sex story.

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00:18:37.039 --> 00:18:40.680
And I gotta write it carefully because
I made a note yesterday on my piece

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00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:42.799
of paper here and I could not
read it class like I've done that before,

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00:18:44.000 --> 00:18:48.880
sing sex story classic. It was
about a woman who wrote in and

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00:18:48.920 --> 00:18:56.119
she had a assist or something on
her lady parts that erupted during the lovin

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00:18:56.240 --> 00:19:00.200
and he came up and he vomited
all over her. Do you remember that?

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00:19:00.400 --> 00:19:03.640
Yeah? I almost feel like that
could stay in the in the past

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00:19:03.759 --> 00:19:07.119
is so gross. No, I'm
going to tell that story your next formal

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00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:11.000
event. When is your next formal
formal event? Star party? Star Party?

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00:19:11.559 --> 00:19:14.599
Perfect? Yeah, I'm gonna get
on stage and have this woman tell

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00:19:14.640 --> 00:19:19.680
this story about the erupting to be
completely silent in the whole. Oh God,

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00:19:21.400 --> 00:19:25.039
And last one, am I the
weirdo? Every time I order my

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00:19:25.079 --> 00:19:30.799
breakfast bagel at Bruger's, I get
all the looks cinnamon sugar bagel with strawberry

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00:19:30.599 --> 00:19:33.759
and salmon. Oh, you're sick
to me, it's normal, But every

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00:19:33.759 --> 00:19:37.759
time the bagel ardest cashier, or
at least one of the customer looks at

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00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:41.720
me funny. I love it,
so whatever. I mean, you are

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00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:44.559
sick, though, thanks for having
me on to let us some steam.

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00:19:44.759 --> 00:19:47.640
What is your normal thing that is
not normal? Buy for now from AJ

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00:19:47.839 --> 00:19:49.400
That is you know what I'm going
to tell you. I think we might

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00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:52.000
save that for a topic on the
radio. What is your normal thing that's

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00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:56.279
not normal? We might put this
on Facebook. Off the top of my

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00:19:56.319 --> 00:20:00.200
head, we've had something similar that, like with a Weird Wednesday, which

308
00:20:00.200 --> 00:20:04.119
is kind of a similar thing with
a different with a different title. It's

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00:20:04.160 --> 00:20:07.279
the thing that you do that is
normal to you, but it's weird to

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00:20:07.319 --> 00:20:10.880
other people. We called it weird
Wednesday. I think it's pretty similar.

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00:20:10.960 --> 00:20:15.440
Unless you want it to be specifically
food related, then that's different. I

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00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:18.319
could see you eating that. You
wouldn't even eat a salad yesterday. I

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00:20:18.359 --> 00:20:21.480
couldn't believe it, because I feel
like you're the kind of person, Dave

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00:20:21.960 --> 00:20:25.079
that even if something's gross, you'll
finish it. I do, Yeah,

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00:20:25.119 --> 00:20:26.319
but you did not finish that salad. Yes, well, I'm safe.

316
00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:30.480
Half for today? Oh yeah,
it's Halsey's. Yeah, I got half

317
00:20:30.480 --> 00:20:33.079
today and it's not even a good
salad. Didn't just throw it away.

318
00:20:33.160 --> 00:20:37.160
No, I gotta have something moderately
healthy. But you hate that. Get

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00:20:37.160 --> 00:20:38.480
a salad downstairs that you actually like. No, I can't. I don't.

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00:20:38.519 --> 00:20:41.839
I don't like wasting food. I
don't. I don't. I'm I'm

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00:20:41.880 --> 00:20:45.759
a I grew up during the Great
Depression. I know you still carried that

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00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:51.839
with you. I do. Yeah, yeah, um. I put cake

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00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:56.839
in a bowl and pour milk over
it, because milk and cake is delicious.

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00:20:57.359 --> 00:21:00.559
But that's about the weirdest I get
with food. I think. Yeah,

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00:21:00.799 --> 00:21:03.519
I can't think. I think super
weird to do. But I will

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00:21:03.559 --> 00:21:06.720
say this, you're sick for the
fifteenth time that I've said it. Cinnamon

327
00:21:06.799 --> 00:21:10.640
sugar bagel at Brugers is to me
perfect. To me, it is like

328
00:21:10.680 --> 00:21:14.039
the most perfect bagel. It's my
favorite bagel there. You wouldn't put salmon

329
00:21:14.079 --> 00:21:15.599
on it, though, No,
I don't like salmon anyway. Oh,

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00:21:15.640 --> 00:21:18.480
I love salmon, smoked salmon.
I don't like smoked salmon. I like

331
00:21:18.599 --> 00:21:22.799
cooked salmon that like like you know, but I don't like smoked salmon.

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00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:26.880
You're right. I can eat an
entire like bowls. Oh, I'm gonna

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00:21:26.880 --> 00:21:30.079
bring that in tomorrow smoked salmon.
That is it for the Minnesota goodbuye.

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