Made sang a face sunny sum. I had a vision like nice to chlet's
up everybody. I am winded from the patrionic this week. It was fun.
You are all kinds of riled up. Uh huh yeah, whoo.
I'm do you ever like so much can happen in a week where I feel
like, have we recorded? Because it feels like we haven't been here in
so long? Doesn't that's weird? I feel life happened. Yeah, I
feel the same way. I'm like, did Halloween happen? Like since we
were here? And then I realized, oh no, today's like November sixth
Halloween was on the thirty first. That was a Tuesday. So no,
we haven't even done a show. Like so much change, Like I grew
a beard like a lot. I got my new tennis shoes. I was
gonna say, you were talking about your feet being uncomfortable, but you needing
shoes, so you got those are cute. Yeah, I didn't have much
choice. Those are my only choices. They're the U of A colors.
So you okay. So you were on a college tour what shoes? And
on Patreon you talked about the fact that your feet were uncomfortable. What were
you wearing? I was wearing old like Adidas. Oh okay, worn out
old Campusidas, yes, okay, and I I uh and I usually I
go from I toggle between A seven and a half and eight, and those
are a seven and a half and they are a little tight. And after
walking for two hours and then walking again for another two hours because we did
two campus tours in one day, I was done. My feet were killing
me. I literally I had to go buy the closest place to go buy
shoes. So when I were at Universe the Arizona, the closest place was
some like store that had all University of Arizona gear, including Nike tennis shoes.
So I got. At least they are like, you know, navy
blue. They might I have a navy I was wearing navy blue yoga pants
all weekend, so at least they kind of match. But they're really cute.
Yeah, I wouldn't know. They're freaking comfortable is all get out.
I have the worst, Like my feet hurt so easily. I don't know
what that is. I know, I don't know, but like I need
to even go if I go to the mall, I'm done after like,
yes, thirty minutes into the mall, I'm like, man, my feet
hurt. I know, is it arth right there? I get up in
the middle of the night to walk to the to the bathroom, and I'm
like, I'm like limping, like my right anklely. I don't know what's
gonna happening. I don't understand people that live in New York too and do
like a lot of walking. I understand they're wearing sneakers, but like I
walk the dog every day. By the time I get home, I'm like,
my feet hurt. I don't know. I'm done. I know I
got to take a look off. Yeah. And then if you know a
mall trip or add any or like six flags or stuff like that, forget
it right right, Like, I'm like, oh, and if you add
anything uphill, oh, I'm done right now, I know, forget it.
And my neighborhood is it's hilly, so you know, take Phil for
a walk, Hold on Phil, I miss him? Oh no, I
know, uh, you know I'm going up and down the hills and stuff.
Yeah, I get I need good like walking shoes. Yeah, and
I replace my shoes like fairly often, you do. I had these were
like because I walk because you know why, because I walk the dog every
day. I go to the park by my house. I walk around the
park and I feel like, you know, they wear out. It's like
a toothbrush, right, keep using the same toothbrush. You gotta like get
rid of the shoes and because and then when you get a new pair of
sneakers, as you know, because you just did, It's like I now
I put these puppies on. I was like, I could go for two
more walking to Worth. Where else do you guys want to go? Okay,
so let's say hi to people and then I want to hear about this
crazy this crazy trip. You know who's back, Amy kunt Oh Amy yay
yep and us Katie Katie Murphy. I forgot what we said about our last
time. She's got Katie oh with got ease, extra ease, Katie got
an extra Katie with extra e. Kelly Laddie da fancy not Anna faris Aaron
who is easy Katie E. We also have Lori Gory and she also has
like a ship ton of ease in her name. It's like l O r
e E g O r e E, like's that? What what's with the
ease. Everybody's rolling on e easy. Lori, Nikki call your girl actually
so chic, She's still chic. Leslie is accosted somebody. She found a
new place. She was out outside of an abandoned May company, the department
store Robinson May. It's like, there's not gonna be anybody there to a
cost, but that's gonna be a difficult place to tumbleweeds flying around. Jacob
is so growley and adorable. Rita rocks everybody's kids in her bout and that
including Elizabeth Williamson's and Heroes and Polly Pancakes and Athena Ginshird with the dancing and
Valerie Bubba Fenwick. I don't know, I'm going off Yeah, I'm going
off book. Katerina still just got a new Yeah, she just got an
implant because she wasn't checking it. Thank god. She's had two. Uh
and Missy and Cabby. Oh. I ran into them at the football game,
of course you did. But they were rooting for a Nebraska university.
Guys, get your shit together. They were in a rock state. They
weren't even there. Rebe Kelly Brandt is not your aunt, but she'll take
care of you. Aaron Sanchez is like, that's my girl and I can't
tell you why, okay, but she just is. Just know that Alicia
from the city of Elmonday Leslie apparently is one man COVID bringing COVID back,
coughing of bringing COVID. Sarah Jennifer, Get up, Sandra. It's not
easy being green. Christa. You make us want to stoop, and Stephanie's
a stinker wrinker. Hello those all right? Who? I feel like my
brain is on fire. You've had a weekend that we that you talked a
lot about on Patreon, the parts that you can't tell here, but tell
us the things that you can't tell. So you went to two Arizona schools,
yes on two. Uh. We flew in on Thursday, while I
flew in by myself. So Natalia flew in with her. She was with
three other of her friends and her one of the moms flew in on Thursday
night as well. But they got in later than I did. I don't
know, we were like an hour apart whatever, But I had you get
there first. I got their first. I didn't book my trip until later
because I didn't know if I could go yet or not, because I possibly
had like zoom thing, the whole thing. So I didn't book my trip
until like, I don't know, a week before. So I flew in.
I got there a little early, oh like just an hour earlier than
them. But Mike Gerstein lives in Phoenix and all he does is work and
go home. He does no social life. And he's like, i'll pick
you up from the air. He goes, oh, I know, I
know you're staying. You're gonna stay. Like he's like, I'll show you
around, like because he's by not flag staff. I don't know, well
maybe it was. I can't remember the name of the city's flag staff.
There's another one. No, I'm just gonna think of it's like a game
show. I know. Scott still Okay, that's like the ritzy part right
right, So he's not ritzy though, but he lives like near he lives
in that area, and he's like, Oh, you're gonna love ASU.
It's big. It's it's kind of like being at UCLA and Westwood. That's
what it's like, Okay, And that's what it really was like. It
was a big, beautiful university, you know. So we get in.
I get in there on Thursday, picks me up from the airport. We
go and have some bite to eat, and then Natalia gets in. They
go to their hotel. Long story, but we're not at the same hotel.
If you listen to Patreon you'll know why. But no, I we
I got a hotel. Where was I staying? I think it's the west
and I was staying at the Weston and the Marriotte. Okay, I think
it was the Marriott the first night. No, it was the west in
the first night. Anyway, whatever, it doesn't matter. But I know
people that live in that area probably going, oh, you were at this
place? Anyway, I was at the by The university was like on University
Row. And the next morning the tour was at nine am, and that
was like in the big beautiful auditorium, you know, and then they she
does her whole spiel the student and then like it was the whole auditorium was
packed with people for the tour. And it was like when I took Sonny
to Colorado, it was like five people on our tour. You know,
this this the auditorium packed with families and it's like, uh, you know,
so like Caylin from Massachusetts and his family, come on up, you
know. So after the one girl did the whole presentation, like seventeen kids
came out with headsets and in uniform and they were like, if you're,
you know, in this party, you're with me, Meet me over here
if you're with this party. So there was just our group. It was
me, the mom and the four girls with one tour guide who's a guy
who by the way, after the whole tour, I was like, I
loved our tour. He was so cute, Like he looked like a surfer.
His hair was like, you know, thick and kind of fluffy and
curly, and he was just kind of a cool He was an emt I
mean, what couldn't I mean, he was doing everything, like he's studying
biochemistry, you know, and so he was taking us on the tour.
And after the tour, I was like, me and the mom are like
he was so cute, and the girls are like he was so gay,
because we were like, how con I mean, like didn't like want to
hook up with one of you girls or something or invite you guys to the
party. And they're like, be you guys, he's gay, and we're
like what, no way, how why would you get and they go,
well, you know, they gave us a few examples, one of them
being because he said he tans every Wednesday, because every Wednesday I come out
by this pool and I and I get my tant. I get a nice
like he tans. Maybe after a certain age. Our gator I was like,
I thought, I have pretty good gaynar and they're like, no,
you guys don't like but I go, but wait a minute. Most of
the time gay guy I go. His hair though is doesn't doesn't say gay
to me because usually the gay the gay kids like keep their hair nice and
tight. You know. His air was an unruly mess, like and his
eyebrows like you know, no, I don't know, but he doesn't think
there's like a uni know, I know. Sorry, but whatever. He
was a cutie pie anyway. So he gave us a tour that was like
a good two hours of about an hour and a forty minutes of walking in
the Arizona heat. You know, even it was early morning, it was
still getting really hot. But fine, okay, that was fine, and
it was good and the girls liked it. And then we got in the
car and drove for like two hours to Tucson. And here's the thing.
I don't want to say everything like at our age, but I would say
this at this point in life. I feel like when you've gone to a
college tour, you've flown in, you wake up early, you do a
college tour, like you should be done for the day. You just accomplished
a lot. You know, it should be like lunch, go back to
your hotel and show till dinner and then that's it, right, I think
it's too too much to like, then you're gonna drive two hours and then
go to a nut Like that's real busy, thank you. I lead my
schedule loose, thank you. I don't like a tight schedule. No,
no, thank you. I don't like time beating now, like, oh,
we gotta get wrapped this up, like no, no, take my
time. How the hell did I get wrapped into this? Like what the
fuck? Who planned this fucking tour? By the way, Like, and
I know was the other mom. She's got a good intention and everything right,
but like really, like two in one day and there two hours.
I did not know that this one until I took to mic, like he
goes, You're going to Tucson the same day? Yeah, no, he
goes, that's like going from Westwood to Bakersfield, Right, It's like that,
he goes, I go, well, an it's an hour and fifty
minute drive, and he goes, it's all desert. It's like a two
lane highway. There's no exits. It's like driving to Vegas. It's pure
desert the whole way. We passed Outlet Mall, but it was all boarded
up. It's where Missy and Gabby are hanging out and Leslie. I mean
it was a boarded up like it looked like the Walking It looked like a
set from the Walking Dead. I mean it was really weird. Anyway,
she rented the car, so she rented the car. So then you have
to also, this is what I don't like about driving with people that I
don't know that well, because then you have to be like, do you
want to listen to a murder podcast? Right? Why is that? Like?
Can we listen to like invisible Choir? Are you not? Like?
Do we have to listen to kissuff? That? Like what you're a girl
after my own heart? Like why can't everybody think this way? Right?
You know? Like of course not, she's not listening to frecking podcast,
because why would she because she's with because I'm stuck with her by the way,
and I've been to her house. She plays loud like like I don't
know, like Drake, like oh she oh, she's one of those she
has to like the music. Kids like music the kids listen to and like
the Weekend, you know. Oh oh. I have stopped trying to be
cool with my kids music, okay, And I used to. Don't get
me wrong, I used to, but you know what, to me,
that what was cool and I thought I was bringing the kids in was like
Beastie Boys or like you know, like you know, or I I only
go so far, like like Xander and I both like the Foo Fighters,
you know, but like I draw the fucking line at the Weekend. And
I made it very clear to my kids. They get in the car,
it's like this mumble core, it's like this weird it's not really R and
me it's like it's out to auto tuning. And I've told my kids,
I'm like, you know what, No, I'm done. I'm done trying
to be cool. When the Weekend comes on the radio, I turned the
station. And when Elbe's in the car with me and she's I'm like,
I don't want to hear that shit. Yes, sorry, I know I
sound old, and I know I sound like kids today with their music.
I don't like it. It's not good. I know and so, and
I will not try to be cool and be like, oh Drake, Yeah,
I love it. No, I hate it. I hate I hate
it. It's bad. Yes, it's all honest. Sorry, I don't
know who's up for, uh the music awards? What are the music awards
called the Grammy? I don't I don't care that. I don't know in
the even the category for best Song, I don't care. I don't like
it. It's not good. I agree. Give me some Hammerson, Oldie
and Bruce Springsteen like it is. Just so, that's the thing I'm thinking,
Like when I found out Like's like that, Tucson's like two hour drive,
and I'm thinking to myself, Huh, she's gonna be listening to the
worst me. She's either me listening to the worst music, or she's gonna
be talking my ear off or both. And guess what it was all of
the above at the same time. It was bad music, talk talk talk
talk ba beepa beepa beep a beep and want to just put my earbuds in
and listen to them. And I'm so jealous of the girls in the back.
I'm so jealous of them because they're back, four girls, right,
four girls, and they're just some are sleeping, some got their earbuds in,
and I'm like, what are they listening to? Like, they're not
listening to us, They're just So you had to rent a car with a
third third row. She rented the car, okay, so it's a big
suv. Then no, she got a Durango. There was just a little
third row like one seat was yeah, one seat you have to be like
it was you know, either you have groceries or you got one set up
kind of thing. Luckily our suitcases you know fit, but it was you
know, quick trip. So well you don't have big suit cait, but
whatever. Like so she rented a Durango and she and the other thing is
is you know me and I know you're not gonna like this, but she's
going like below the speed limit, Like come on, would you pick it
up? We are we're gonna be there in three days at this point,
like come on, we're gonna miss the tour. I'm like, give me
your number, I'll hang out some speed, drive like a champion, bitch.
Let's go. We got to get to a tour. I love how
well you know me though. I love how you like this part. Let's
plug your ears? Yeah did so did she? So? She was,
why didn't you like offer to drive? Let me drive. Listen, I'll
get us there a little bit faster. Let me take the wheel. Jesus,
take the wheel, Jesus, Jesus. Akaylynnette, taste the wheel.
Get us there a little quicker. Yeah, Mike Gerstein got me to the
airport in like an hour and forty minutes. You know, So, did
you have to go from from You have to go back to go to the
same airport. You could know you have to go back. That's the thing.
I was like, Oh god, if Natalia goes to this school in
Tucson, like it's hard to get to. You have to fly into Phoenix.
I mean, I guess there's little airports, but I don't know.
But and I'm going out of Burbank as much as possible, right Hey,
going to La s Oh my god, I can't, So I go I
leave Bourbank, go to Phoenix, it's a breeze. It's fine if she
goes to a SU. Great But spoiler alert, she didn't like either school.
Oh, she didn't like ASU either. No, she was. Now
she has her heart set on TCU Miami. She really wants to go,
and she might just do community college and then go to Miami because she really
really She's like, I'm like, listen, bitch, beggars can't be choosers
like you, Let's see where you get accepted first and then make But she's
like, I really think that that's what I want to do. Like,
the only other school she really liked was TCU, But I don't know.
She she likes being by the beach. She likes that weather, and she
doesn't like you know, I mean like I like she did like a s
U because she likes being in a big city and it felt like a big
city. Uh, University of Arizona was in Tucson, and that's kind of
like a USC you know, it's like a nice campus, but not in
a great area of town or whatever. But but anyway, like she I
don't know, she doesn't she's not a big fan of Arizona. It feels
like I don't know, she just didn't like the vibe. I guess.
I don't know. Yeah, this wasn't for her, I guess, but
it wasn't for me. Realized that she wasn't for her. Did you feel
it all? Like, oh my god, I'm gonna kill I wanted a
burrier in the desert At that point, I was like, exactly what are
we doing? But you know, she she applied to them, so we
want, you know, and her friends mom made this whole trip because her
friend really wants to go there. She wants to go to U of A.
Yeah, and she it like has her heart set on that school for
some reason. So her mom planned this whole trip and then invited the whole
clan, you know. And then I got roped in like the other two
moms, No, they did. The other two. There's Natalia and her
friend and her friend's mom and two other girls. And the other girls's moms
did not go right. They had the right. They're smart, they're smart
and do the Were the other girls liking it? Were they interested? One
of them? Was? One of them liked it? But she likes everything.
She's one of these girls that's upbeat and likes everything, you know,
like missus girl, I'll sit in the back in the third row seat.
You know, she's one of there's always the one kid that's willing to just
go sit in the back and suck it up. Yeah, that's her.
So she was like, yeah, I could see it. But she's really
I don't know, like she's she could probably go anywhere she wants. She's
very good student and so I don't know. But hey, let's take a
quick break. Yeah, and then uh get back to business. How let's
talk about Honeylove. There are a new sponsor. Uh. I am so
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H e LP dot com slash fcl Okay, we're back, so uh
where you were just so relieved to get back home after it? But tell
us also about the game? Well, yeah, it was it was a
long weekend the game, so I think we talked about it like I didn't
want to go to the game, like it just you know, I know
you like college football. You're such a huge fan, huge fan, you
know you swear by it. But I don't know. I just like,
for me, being in a hotel room is exciting, Like I just want
to sit and watch like Netflix and you know, get some snacks downstairs,
some caramel popcorn, watch, get caught up on some Netflix stuff, you
know, because they had Netflix on my TV. And I was like,
oh, hell yeah, that's all I wanted to do is just get back
to that hotel room. Yeah. But now, you know, so they
were going to the football game, and you know, Natalia really wanted me
to go, and I was like, all right, I'm doing this for
her, and you know, I want to spend time with her too.
You she's gonna be gone. She didn't be doing her own. She's already
half out the door. So but do you ever feel like when you're like
you're already on a trip with her? Yeah, isn't that like I'm on
this trip with you? Like I came to this college tour. The other
moms didn't. They were like hell no, ye don't I'm here? Like
do I have to also go to the gate like you know, I know
it's internal and it's the pressure we put on ourselves and I have I feel
the same way, like sometimes where I'm like, why just I drive my
kids to school? And I drive like I do talk to them? Like
do I sit around and eat dinner together too? Want to ask? You
know, like I'm like I talked to them about their day. I have
up on what's going on in their life, Like I feel like spreading it
out, Like if I go to like the mall with Sadie, then I
feel like, doesn't that buy me a week? Like we have to don't
do stuff together every day? Do I have to talk to her every single
day? Did I get parent points for like this? Yes, that's I
agree, Like I'm on trip like do I yeah? And by the way,
don't you girls want to go to the game without us? Moms?
Why you guys want us to go? I know? But it didn't end
up that way. So, but the thing is is they all had tickets
and they were sitting together. So I had to buy an individual ticket or
whatever and right try and get in the same section, which I did,
and so uh and then uh, so I posted pictures on her Facebook page,
and I just had my ego boosted, like wildly boosted because I was
I was going to go to the game and look and like leave it like
halftime. But the mom I was with was really into the game, like
she was like, well, I want to stay until the end. I
was like really doing really Like I'm like, oh, it's a blowout.
It was like twenty four to seven by like the third quarter, and they're
beating my team, UCLA. Bitch, that's my team, right, like
UCLA, right, I know they came on the field. People were booing
them. I don't know, Yeah, like what the fuck? You know,
U of A team comes out, Oh it's fireworks and everybody's screaming and
oo and U c LA comes out like boom, Like what the fuck?
That's what the fuck's that's college sports for you. But u CLA that other
week beat the hell out of Colorado. Yeah, but that would be a
little weird if you were in Arizona and the UCLA team came running out everyone
started cheering. Yeah, I get it, I get it. But I'm
just saying, like UCLA is not a bad team, Like they're a great
team. They are, and I think that's why they got booed. I
think that they were, you know, the favored, and they're the underdogs
U of a and so whatever. But anyway, like okay, like I
came, I had a hot dog. You know, you did everybody their
drinks, their pepsias, and I did my job. That's all out.
That is all fucking out. You left it all in the field. Yes,
I did. You came, you played them okay, the like where's
your warship? Yeah, you are parenting like at a high ass level,
right, look at me, everybody stay till the edge. Where's my fireworks?
Yes? So like yes, it was like twenty eight to se I
here, I have a hotel room an Arizona, like and it's enough.
It's enough, it's enough. So I was like and then like I was
like, I think the girls had their fill of us too, Like they're
not even talking to us, by the way, exactly. They barely want
to take a picture. Like by the way, like I gave my phone
to the mom and I was like, you take a picture of me in
Italia. She takes two, then she hands me the phone and then she
goes, can you take a picture of me and my daughter? I take
like one. Yea, I didn't know. I didn't know she lin took
two until I got back to the hotel room. That's not cool. I
have like twelve of her and her daughter on my phone and two of me
in Italia and one I'm blinking. Of course, of course takes a lot
manch she does, and I know that's rude. I know, like really,
anyway, where's my medal? So I was like, all right,
I want to go. But met these kids in front of us, okay,
and they turn around the high five in US when you know, turns
out one of them was a girl. She goes there. They're all like
best friends. They all went to high school from there, from Anchorage,
Alaska. They grew up together. But because Grace, the one girl is
ghosts and then there's another girl with them. These are people you just met.
I just met, you know their backstory. I know they're back.
There's like three or four boys and two girls. The two girls go.
Turns out the girls go to college. The boys went straight to work on
a fishing boat right out of high school. Yeah. Yeah, so they
work and they catch salmon like months out of the year they go salmon fishing
and they work Alaska in Alaska, so they don't go to the school.
They don't go to the school. We're just visiting. They were visiting the
two girls that go, Hey, the go getters, the go getters,
right, So the girls are at a well, one of them is at
ASU, the other one was at at University of Arizona. Oh, but
they were together at the game and they grew up together. They all went
to high school too. So the boys and the girls were all hanging out.
They were in front of us, and one of them turns around and
was like, uh, do you go to the school. And I was
like, no, thank you though, and he's like how old are you?
And I'm like thinking, listen, did your mom not teach you you
don't ask a woman how old? But I'll tell you I'm fifty four.
And he goes fifty what, No way, no way, And I'm so
jealous. And then they told like all their it was like Grace, she's
fifty far like, all right, you don't have to announce it to the
stadium, come on, now, settle down. I mean, I'm flattered.
But then Italia's list she's catching wind and she's like, oh, that's
your ego out of control, much like I go you ge or that Natalia.
They think your mom looks the same age as you. That made so
then all of a sudden, I was all in, all right, we
don't have to go anywhere. Let's stay for the rest of the game.
And then I'm talking to them. I'm getting to know them, and they're
like you getting phone numbers and You're like, so, wait, how long
are you on this fishing boat? Is there room or there? Dear,
just get like right along, right right. Well, the one kid he
wanted like, he was like, you're mom. The mom's he's like,
your girls don't want to hang out with you guys, right, you guys
come with us to the bar. And then we're talking and then oh,
the girl goes, how do you stay? So what do you do to
look so young? And I go cigarettes and alcohol and they asked. They
all were like high five and then they're like, you guys got to come
out with us. You guys gotta go. You too, Mom, You're
not moms tonight, you're one of us. You're a you're a you're a
college game. We're going we're taking you guys out. And the mom I
know, right I didn't want to. I didn't want to let them down.
And I was like, Okay, I mean all right, I guess
I guess. I got an hour like before I have to get back to
the hotel. And and then I was like the mom was like all about
it. She's like, yeah, let's go, and you know, so
I was like all right, you know so so they're the one thing in
that town was it was so hard to get an uber, so it took
forever to get an uber. Now I'm like, ugh, now this is
Look now I'm like wish I didn't. You know. I was flattered for
about twenty minutes, and now it's kind of wearing off. Like we're all
walking out of the game together and they're going and getting an uber and they're
they're like, you're not leaving, You're not leaving. You're coming with us,
because you could because I would have been like I would have been like,
yeah, it's all happy talk while we're there, and then as soon
as we leave, I would worry that they'd be like, oh, you're
really actually coming with is what I But it was the other way there.
They were like holding on. They were like, you're not going back your
guys are coming to the you're coming to the mcmalley. Oh no, dirt
Bags. That's the name of the bar. Okay, you guys are coming
to dirt Bag. Well lo and behold, dirt Bags is across the street
from my from the hotel where the other mom was staying at, so conveniently
across the street from. So she was all about like, sure, let's
go have a drink. And I'm like, bitch, my hotel is seven
minutes a car drive away, which means getting an UBER in this town.
It's the attacking on another fifteen twenty, Like, it doesn't the ubers don't
just show up right, you know you got there. It's a wait in
that town. And then I don't know if it's because it was homecoming week
or what. Anyway, now I'm like, oh did I get in?
Okay, it's like eleven thirty. Oh, and I wanted to leave the
game early. No, we had to stay until the bitter end. But
fine. But so then then we finally we get to dirt Bags. Like
the the uber took forty minutes to get to us, we get to dirt
Dirt Bags forty. Yeah, it took a long We walked and walked and
walked, and then we called the uber and then the uber was just circling,
circling, canceling that uber, calling another uber trying lift instead of uber.
I mean, it was a freaking and there was a big group of
us. So half of the guys like the guy's left and then the one
guy that like like a little puppy dog with me, like following me around,
and the girls where we were together. So it took forever. So
we get there, there's a freaking line around, like a huge line out
for hell no, and I'm like really, and they're like, you're not
leaving, You're not leaving. It took you this just come on. I
go, well, I gotta get up early and they're like, so do
we We're going to NASCAR tomorrow. Oh no, We're getting up at seven.
I was like, and I'm like yeah, but you're twenty three.
I'm fifty four. Remember I'm tired. And they're like, just one drag,
just and I'm like well, and then all of a sudden, the
lot how long is it gonna take to get in there? Well then I
was gonna leave, but a whole shitload of people left the bar. So
then the line starts moving and they're letting people in and they're like it's moving,
and it's moving, and I go, okay, if it stops,
I'm leaving. But it kept moving and we got in. And then you
get into the bar and you're like a sardine. You're packed shoulder to shoulder.
You can't move. The guy's holding my hand, he's like, come
follow me. He's like, I'll take you to the bar. He's like,
I'll bring it. So like he's dragging me through the thing, and
I'm like this does not sound fun. No, no, it wasn't.
No, that's what I'm saying. Like the novelty wore off? And where
are Natalia and the other back at the hotel across the street? Oh?
They we parted. They were like, you guys are out partying and they're
back at the hotel. They went back to the hotel. Yeah, they
were like, what are they gonna do? They're underage? They go through
true, you know, but they did show up at Dirt Bags. Find
out later after I left, I see her and I see her she's at
the hotel and I'm like, good, I'm glad you guys are you didn't
go anywhere. She goes, No, we're going across the street to dirt
bags. I go why, and she goes because so and So's moms there,
And I go, you what, No, you can't, I go,
you can't get in you have to be twenty one. She didn't listen
to me. Of course, they went there, they got turned turned away,
and they had to go back to their hotel. Yeah, you guys
think you're doing I told you should have listened to me. But anyway,
Yeah, they went back to the because the game was over, like I
don't know, like eleven eleven thirty and it was late. So went in
there, did had like bought a round of like I did my where's my
parade again? I did my deal. I got in there, I got
everybody around the drinks and then, you know, I said good night as
soon as I got in there, like as soon as I got in there,
as soon as he brought me to the bar round of drinks, Bye
bye. I sucked it down. By the way, it was in a
plastic cup, like get a vodka soda in a plastic No, like a
like a like a you know, opaque plastic cup that they give you in
the dental office to like rinse your mouth. No, like those cups.
Yeah, I was like really, but it was cheap at least. So
I was like, Oka, good night, goodbye, and the mom was
like you're leaving. I'm like, you're stayed no way. No. I
was like, okay, goodbye. But she had a seat she was sitting
somehow she got lucky young guys. She's holding court with the young kids at
the bar, and I'm like, oh, ninety night, I'm gonna go
catch some z's save. Good night. Nice to meet you kids. Point
was it like one in the morning, Yes, it was. Yeah,
it was close to one o'clock in the morning. Yeah, yeah, it
was over and then you left the next morning. And then we left at
like ten thirty in the morning. Mike Gerstein picked us up, Me and
Italia. Oh, just the two of you. M yeah, because we
were on a separate flight. I booked my flight coming back. Natali wanted
to get back early because she was going to uh what's his face, Travis
Scott, Oh that's so funny. Yeah, her body there. Yeah,
so she wanted to get back early. So we left, I don't know,
one o'clock. And then the weird thing is is Arizona. Time didn't
change. Oh but then but when we landed in Burbank it was changed.
Whatever. But yeah, the daylight savings thing, delight savings time is the
worst. It's the worst. And kaylin, oh okay, let's take a
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join the Kudo movement. Wem So, but I was gonna say about daylight
saving time. Yeah, kaylin, you are feeling this right now. This
is the This was actually the most nightmarish time I remember having really young kids
because they can't tell time, and they don't understand. All they know is
that like bet they're they're on the same clock. Yeah, so you are
suddenly getting up a lot earlier because and trying to put the bed, try
to put them to bed at the same right. Boys were up at five
fifteen this morning, so that was yeah, and yeah yesterday too. They're
just both waking up super early. Yeah, and you got to try to
trick them, like for going to bed. You gotta be like, well
it's dark outside, not for bed. And then like if they once they
start to realize that the clock. You know, then they're going to be
like, no, I don't have to go to bed yet. You're like,
yeah, you do. But oh my god, when the kids were
that young, I hat I would dread the clock's changing me too either way,
because it just messes with their routine even now for me, like the
dog like Penelope all off of her schedule and waking me up super early.
Ah, I wouldn't know how that is. Bill's go I know, but
just like you, you can't rescue him or anything. I did. I
took him last week to my house, uh for a few hours, and
then this week I think tomorrow I might go get him and have him spend
the night with me tomorrow at my condo. Yeah, so like what went
visited him yesterday? They visited. They visited because they we had an open
house, which Natalie was not happy about coming home after that weekend and then
having to get ready for Taylor Swift, I mean not Taylor's Drava Scott very
different yeah and another one sing songs about right love. Yeah. So so
she was like, I'm so I had she had a sneak into the house
and go into Sonny's room because Sunny's room's at the very end, and nobody
cares about the boys room. So it was only an hour. But yeah,
we had open house and blah blah blah. So Phil's been gone for
the last any nibbles at the house. I guess they had a good turnout
this weekend, so we'll see. Yeah, there's some he's talking, he's
talking to people. But yeah, it was just it was an exhausting week.
And I mean even like but I, yeah, we're too old,
we cannot We're not in you. And I think the same way when I
hear two hour car ride with somebody, Like you think to yourself, like,
God, what am I gonna do for those two hours with somebody that
I'm not very close with? So I'm gonna have to like, you know,
you have to make that small talk kind of thing, and so how's
the blah blah blah. You know, like there's a lot of that.
And then you get there and you're doing it. Now you're doing another two
hour tour. I mean it was and my feet were killing me. Yeah,
I had to go buy shoes. It was just it was and then
the football game we listen again, we could have just went there went on
the two tours and came home Friday night and been home all weekend, right,
but it turned into a whole weekend. And then I just feel like
you do all that, and you kind of called this earlier, But if
the kid doesn't even really want to go to that school, right, it's
it's a huge waste of time. Yes, I mean, like you don't
need to know the whole culture of the city and experience it to know that
I do or don't want to go to this school. So like you can
just kind of go on the tour and go like, yeah, I don't
I'm not interested, or they're not going to get sold because and you don't
want them to get sold because they went and had a good time at the
game exactly exactly. You want them to be sold because they actually like the
school or like the programs, And like, I can't even that's so tedious
entirely it is. It is. That's why like just Sonny, we took
him, I took him to Colorado and he got an idea of what it
was like. And then that's that call it a day and we did it
in one day and went home done. Yeah, but it turned into again
it was in a week and though that I think that she planned for her
her daughter and then invited everybody and then everybody was like oh, and then
the other moms are like yeah, yeah, sure take my kid, and
I got roped into going as well. The thing is too like this when
when the when another person love, like I don't love people that like to
take constant trips, Like I don't like to take constant trips. So I'm
not always thinking like once I've done one, like I'm like you, I'm
like, okay, now I need to like rest for a while, Like
I don't want to be planning the next like weekend. It's like crazy weekend.
Like I'm tired. I'm tired, and like why just did that?
Like isn't that enough? It's no, it's not. For some people.
They love to travel, they love to travel, and they love to travel
with their kids, and they love to go and visit their kids. It's
just yeah, it's not for me. No, I've slowed down. Yeah
I don't. I'm not. That doesn't sound fun to me. Even like
if I was like, let's say we were to plan a trip to Vegas
or something that would be really fun, that would be it for me.
I wouldn't be like, oh, let's go to Vegas and then the following
weekend, I'm going to go on like a college tour with like Xander and
then we're gonna No, I'd be like, that's it. I got to
have a month padding before and after, Like I don't I'm going to be
tired for a while. Exactly that memory is gonna last me. I could
look at the pictures on my phone. I can think about the money that
I lost at the crops table, you know what I mean that, Like
I don't need to go like what's next? No, I know, no,
not for me, but and I understand why the kids do. Like
Elb is planning trips and like, oh, I'm going to go here and
I'm going to go there, and I'm going to do this and that,
and like that's good because she's young and likes to have something to look forward
to. But like I'm not right, Like I've dial Netflix, that's what
I look forward to. That's all I wanted to do all weekend was just
get him. I watched one documentary and took me all weekend to finish,
because like every single time I hit the bed, I was out like a
darted bear, just out, like even during the day. I would like,
oh, I'm just gonna take a little rest her and watch a little
documentary out waking up by Natalia, are you here? Are you here?
Like, no, bitch, where I'm here. I'm in my room.
We mean here here? Where Where am I supposed to be? Right,
You're supposed to be at the hotel? I'm like, nobody told me.
And then that was the other thing, Like before the game, I was
to go the game started at seven thirty. I was told we'll meet up
at their hotel at seven and walk over to the football stadium. Okay,
it's six thirty. Natali calls me, are you here? Are you here?
And I'm like, why would I be here? Where here? I'm
at my hotel. She's like, I thought we were meeting up. I
go, I go at seven. The game starts at seven thirty and she's
like, well, we're ready, and I'm like, well, that'll meet
you at the game. Go yeah, go bye. I can find you
on my life three sixty. I know where you are. I see your
little boom boom on my map. I know where you are. I'll find
you. I got my ticket I'll meet you at the game. Yeah.
So then I took my sweet tig. I got right, and I'm like,
do I have to get there at seven thirty? Do I need to
be there a kickoff? Like? You know? But okay? Then she
calls me again like where are you? And I'm like, I'm on my
way. I can't get an uber. My kids are the same way.
The younger ones always not like this, but the younger ones like want me
to be places? Yeah, And I stop, why do you want your
parents there? I know I don't. And again I think it'scually think I'm
so fun? Why they like me fun? I think she doesn't want the
other mom to be hanging out by herself. I think then it takes the
pressure off of them too, you know. Yeah. So here's another thing
too, though about like when you've just done a bunch of stuff with your
kids, you ever get this and then like you get home and they're like,
oh, it's for dinner and you're like bet, just like there was
so you had so much time to go, like I'm hungry while I was
at a place where it would have been super convenient for me to get you
food. Now I'm home I'm done, go find something to eat, but
to make a sandwich? Like what now you're all looking at me. I'm
like, I just had a six hour day with you people exact you know,
go eat up a hot pocket, right, yes, I go eat
up a fucking hot pocket. Exactly what what happened? They're all self like
reliant until it's like I'm hungry, okay, like like elb will do that
too. What's for dinner? I'm like, bitch, you've just been door
dashing yourself food right all week because you didn't like what I was having.
Well, how about now we're just out? I hate that. I hate
that, especially when they've been out. So that's the worst. There was
all kinds of eating ops you for the last six court in your distance?
Right, Oh my god. Sadie will do this all the time. She'll
go to like the mall with a friend and then come home and go it's
for dinner. I'm like, there was a food court? Can I go?
I don't slice of pizza? How you didn't plan ahead, you didn't
go like I it was and by the way, you just got home from
them all. It's not like oh but then three hours past and now you're
hungry. It's like you were just there. You think like, ah,
we're here, it's dinner time. Yeah, No, you're gonna come home
and go once for dinner. Now I've got to go out, Like I
don't understand that. I hate that. I hate that. Oh and the
worst is when they're with another parent. The parent drops them off and they're
starving. Yes, like what the fuck? They hate them? What animal
did not feed you between the hours of five and eight? Now, Oh
my god, that is my biggest pet peeve. I would I always feed
kids when they're with me if it's dinner time. I don't send a kid
home at eight pm and I don't know they weren't hungry when they were at
me, Like offer them some order for condominos, do something. Oh my
god. Zan last night was at this play rehearsal because he has this thing
tonight, and he came home and they were supposed to feed the kids,
so he was there. This is a prime example. He was there from
four to eight and they said they were feeding them dinner. So I made
food because I'm a hero. I made you know how I've been making those
like crazy sandwiches. It's like a whole cashaw Like, I got to go
to Trader Joe's. I got to get the certain kind of bread. I
got to get the basil, I get the tomato. I do a whole
thing olive oil and some vinegar and a little glaze and salt, pepper,
and it's a thing I make. I make these sandwiches. But I'm like,
Xander's good because you know he's getting fed dinner. I pick him up
at eight o'clock and he's like so hungry. I was like, wait,
what, you're hungry? Why are you hungry? Get mad all of a
sudden, even though I was thank god I had made some extra sandwiches.
But the thing about the extra sandwiches was that I was hoping they were going
to be for lunch the next day. I wasn't planning on Xander needing to
eat one or two. I'm like, why are you hungry? I thought
they fed you dinner? And he goes, well, they ordered pizza,
but they didn't order enough, so everybody got to have one slice. And
I was like, oh, okay, who right do I need? Do
you tell me who was in charge of this fucking catastrophe? Who brings in
food? You got my kids there for four hours. You gave him one
slice of pizza? Fuck that noise? How did you not like aren't you?
I know you're like me. I'm a Jew, but it's not just
being a jew. Order extra I would I never have ever under ordered?
Have you ever under ordered in your life? No? Adam, does I
know one? Yeah? Got those slices? Small Mother's Day? Oh my
god? But yeah, god yeah. Well, let's save a little for
us for our Friday show. Us say hot, let's think some of our
fifty dollars. People like the Family Skeptical. It's it's the podcast that you
will love that talks about like after I just said, I'm Jewish. You
know, but you don't have to raise your kids with any religion. My
kids are not being raised with religion. And you can listen to the Family
Skeptical. They only drop an episode every three weeks, so you're not gonna
get overwhelmed with content, So go subscribe. Also, Kelly, Womanfrida,
that's our Palm Springs bitch. Sure, yeah, you know what is not
a tiring trip? Palm Springs. That's right, Mellow, You get a
hang by the pool and go to Wilman Freda and have a delicious but yeah,
yeah, they you don't. You can't under order there because they bring
you a big plate of food. That's true. That's true. Also Basic
Becky just basic Becky dot com. Start getting your holiday T shirt, funny
t shirt, mugs, mouse pets. Start getting that in early so you're
not sweating it right next month. Just go to just basic Becky your finder
on Facebook at basic Becky. Also, my friend Adam Lerner, he is
a car broker. I see people on Facebook all the time just like,
oh my god, we have to buy a car. I'm telling you would
just text him and go, hey, I don't understand the whole deal,
but can you help me get a better deal on a car than I could
get myself And he'll say yes, and there's no fee. Why wouldn't you?
Yeah, why wouldn't Adam Lerner? His phone number is three one zero
nine to nine eight seven zero four eight, or go to Adams gootacar dot
com. Hey, So, anyway, thanks everybody for listening. To follow
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everybody, your parent. Now, don't f it up. It's let Angel