Hello everyone, Welcome back to Dungeons and Dragons by Damie Had he had to
go watch Planet of the Apes. Yeah, this is d D. Is
his like break between his Planet of the Apes marathon that he's doing. This
is his half time show. Yea half tim show. Did you ever think
you should become a musician? Teking? Yeah? Yeah, whoa half time
show. You have to promise to cut this out down. I'm not cutting
it out. That's in. That's in the episode. All right, last
episode we killed Snow. No Snow death have occurred. Y yeah, if
you didn't see it, Uh, that was the episode. I guess we
forgot to record. Yeah. Yeah, we activated the Cleric Tower and killed
Snow. Yeah. It was wild. It was a seven hour session.
It was insane, but we got it done. Yeah we weren't. Yeah.
The Shark had an incredible character arc. Not yeah where he's now multi
class into a wizard. Yeah, he's on his intelligence. He's on his
intelligence arc. I'm a monk. I know we're talking about the episode that
we all did in private. Remember, yeah, no, this sounds like
bullshit now now you were there. You were just drunk at the time,
you guys, I don't think he was there. I think we forgot to
bite him. Oh that tracks, that's why the shark didn't do anything.
And then yes, le shit whoops. Wow. Anyway, welcome to this
episode. Before we start the episode London MCM next week May twenty fourth.
If you're listening to this on YouTube, it is this weekend May twenty fourth,
twenty fifth, twenty sixth. We have a panel on the first on
the one pm. I was gonna say PM Sunday, Sunday twenty day,
the twenty sixth, at one pm. But I was gonna say the first
of the clock. I mean, what the first hour of the board,
the first hour of the afternoon watch on the first hour, upon the first
bog we shall okay, Actually, what the panel is gonna look like?
Yeah, he's going write Spooky into that. We've got to bring Spooky in
here so that when Dane drops out, Spooky comes back hey, and then
distress again. Apply. Daniel Green won't be here, but it will be
me Tecking Briggs, Schwaberdy and two Spooky doing a crazy crossover session. It
will be a lot of fun. We'll get a live show with Daniel Green.
I will also have a table at the Creator's Pavilion for c twenty one,
where I will be selling card games, I will be selling posters,
and I will be selling albums. Swabody also has a table and it's right
next to mine. You can buy my T shirts and beanies cool table buddies.
The other D and D guys will probably be around my table at some
point if you want them to sign anything that we'll say Hello. That's enough
fucking marketing. But your name is Mark. That's what you were born to
do. You can get a copy of my book Neon Goes available everywhere books
are sold. I have a copy of the book. I could bring it
to MCM and you could buy it at my table, an exclusive version that's
like pre print with all the errors in it. Anybody wants to buy up
Marry. I don't think I could legally do that one. You have like
rings in your eyes tecking. It sounds like you need some chief. No,
you know what I think I do. Thank you, and I'll sell
you my nudes. You don't you know them without you asking conventions. At
conventions sometimes cosplayers will have pictures of themselves that they will sell, autograph whatever.
At my booth, I will have naked pictures of Daniel Green that I
will be selling. He'll be there in spirit, if not in person.
They signed by Daniel, or they signed sign by me. You could just
photo Daniel and then random people. But it's just that it's just a really
zoomed in picture of his nipple, because that's all people want. What I
have would ironically by those like, seriously, I haven't. I haven't said
to Jackson my picture of my niffle yet, You're a bad person, bad
friend. They listen. The audience doesn't know what the funk we're talking about.
Don't tell them. Welcome to everyone. You're also here with Norman Briggs.
Hi, summ you guys, Yett's let's melt the snow. Okay,
I'm here with I'm here with Norman Briggs. Summer is coming, gamers,
It's time to melt the snow. I'm here. This summer officially start May
June twenty first, I think, yeah, that's so arbitrary, right,
Yeah, I mean it is sort of seasons. I mean, there's a
thing called Daniel Green's diversion. So here's something and it sits there smirking as
you talk about it. Okay, I'm going to here with Daniel Green Wilhelm.
So I want to start explaining the wheel of time very slowly from it
starts out in the Two Rivers. That's actually not true, starts way back
in time, and well that's actually not true chronologically with you spring, it
starts in the White Tower about twenty years before. Okay, okay, all
right. I'm also here with schwab Cody. Oh yeah, it's me Swaba
Cody. Yeah. And I'm finally here with Anthony Teking. He's still Big
Tony. I forget, he's still Big Tony. Okay, right, you
guys are inside of Wellington's house chilling. Everyone's having a great time, and
you've decided to chill there until the evening. And you did that. I
didn't know if there was anything else you wanted to, like talk to the
plethora of characters that in this room about whilst she waited until the evening.
But if nothing that just just going to order enjoy tea together. I guess
Wells Town. It's quite it's got like plush sofas, it's quite nice,
but there's not definitely not enough seating for this many people. I mean,
I'm taking up a whole damn couch because Big Tony is like, yeah,
I think who Okay, Well, Cody wants to ask, after you know,
a Little Feather and her mission, does Wellington know where they are?
Does that's where they Yeah? I would, I would ask Ripper. I
would be like, hey, so where's Little Feather and those guys? Ah?
Wow, Oh that's a surprise. What do you mean, Oh that's
a surprise, Listen, Riper, I've had I've received quite a few surprises
in the last few weeks, and I'm getting I'm getting a little tired of
them. Well, we we've been setting up, you know, we've been
helping reignite Rippers Brew and all that, trying to keep things competitive in the
ale market. But Little Feather had to go off and do something for a
little bit, and that is that is She told me to keep it a
surprise, So I I she said that, She said that, So,
okay, Who's who's she with? She's she's with bone Slaw at the moment.
Okay, we do we agree on Rippers Brew? No, you didn't,
But I just decided because I thought, you know, why not kind
of a name for a for a product. If the other Worldly Brewery currently
has bad pr because of the whole snow situation. So I thought temporarily rippers
brew made it, you know, a bit more palatable between people. And
how are we doing with that? Are we? Are we competing? I
would like to defeat her in the business world before I defeat her physically and
mentally. I think it will take quite a long long time to defeat her
in the business world. We have two p Oh, non't worry. I've
knocked down three of my arch nemesis is in less than two quarters of the
fiscal year. We could take down this no no problem. Need to do
that by all of a supplier. We probably need to do it in a
kind of like two days I had a little bit more of a hostile takeover.
But we can still make those works. The The issue, it seems
from the conversation you guys were having beforehand, is that she sort of transcended
just a brewery issue. At the moment, she's sort of in control of
the country kind of she kind of rules Vestoria right now. Yeah, that's
any learned take her ship there you go. Yeah, that is what you
do. We're a hostile takeover. Is we're not going to kill We're just
going to physically maim to the point of being unable to move, remove themselves
from bed. That's the love. I like your style, O kaid.
You're gonna go straight to the top in this business. Did we did we
decide already what our order of operations? Yes? Yeah, you decided to
go after snow tonight? Okay, all right, all right, we're gonna
move under cover of night. And as much as I hate to say it,
I don't think we can get rid of the thread of Snow without just
straight up killing her. It's quick way. As long as she's alive,
she's going. We don't kill, we break probably like the upper spine,
and then we're good. Listen says it's it's yeah, we know, we
know, douna. You know it would be really funny, guys. We
should make Atron's prophecy come true. So I'm kind of with the shark Willhelm
here. We will break both her legs her like vertebrates, and then she
has a sad, lonely existence of them. We break each vertebrae, individual
phone in the human body. You know, I've never managed to do that
myself, but I'm intrigued by the prospect. I am I the only one
left that isn't completely fucking twisted. At this point, Bill big Tony wraps
his arm is big Meaty claws around Cody like li shit hairs, Son,
I'm blowing sicker of smoke right in your face. Lose it on there.
You want to go far in the business world, you gotta be cutthroat.
You gotta get to the other people before they get to you. You gotta
take all of the people that you've formed connections with over the years and throw
them in the muck if you want to get anywhere in this dog eat dog
world. I'm definitely side eyeing the rest of my team. Look, I
understand killing Snow is a necessary evil. She cannot be in the picture anymore.
If we want to save this world from the gods and get ourselves home.
You got it. Then torturing her, I'm torturing her. I'm morally
against killing people. You're the wrong one, all right. When it comes
time, I'll do what I have to do, Okay, And then I
got the breaking every bone in her body. I'll know you'll make ther I
like the cut of your chip. You want a job at my factory,
No, what I'll give you a raise seven cents an hour. I'm currently
employed, sir. All right, if you ever need a job, come
on stop by Pittsburgh. All right, right, how are we doing this?
It's okay to burrier in a box because then like by the time they're
dead, it's not your fault. Again. Jesus is like and is murderer,
is evil. Thou shalt not kill my dudes, but said thou shalt
not break every bone in her body. Thou shalt brutally mame or whatever.
The church is the teaching these days. The Bible is and always has been,
on the shark side. Wilhelm, It's true he's been reading the Bible.
I gave her. I gave him like four copies just so he could
read it four times as fast. He can't read. Yeah, that's not
true. Most people who read the Bible can't either. It's fine, It's
all right, listen. We we need a plan. How are we going
to get to is she? Do you think she's like gained some powers or
got some strength in the meantime, Like, what is her defense going to
be? I understand she has a lot of money and power, but like
she doesn't have Washington on her side. Anymore. I think that she thought
that those assassins would just take you out, Tuna says she haven't. Ye
right, huh. We haven't been spotted by her people yet in the city.
No, No, I guess not only the the the carthagean bronze merchandise.
Yeah. Really, so I don't think word will have gotten back to
her that we're even here. So I don't think she'll have like any special
defenses in place if she thinks that the God's fingers are gonna, you know,
take it out. Hmmm. What if we disguise ourselves as the godfingers.
Weren't they all wearing masks and stuff? And then we can be like,
surprise, Well one of them was made out of Papa and one of
them was made out of stone. Yeahs, and more like they are a
mask in the way that the skin is made. Yeah, just show up.
We're like shitty Eda and Neddie looking like you're wearing paper machet like Alma,
No, I'm wearing my suit. I want to look good on the
day that I Yeah, underneath it's cannon. Yeah, have a cigar,
big tony damn straight. He reaches into his jacket pocket. Giant line of
cigars. I'm like, here you go. No, no fucking smoking in
my house. Jesus, been smoking for the last twenty five minutes. I've
been smoking fat ass cigars at this place. Oh sorry, I here you
go. I light up the cigar and handed to Norman. I'm so missing
you. I stop giving these cigars. I'm gonna put it out and keep
it for later. I want to smoke that over her dead body. Yeah,
got a smoke before a big business meeting. That's what I always say.
The smoke is going to ruin my nice footage. You have infinite money.
Science are still out on that. Yeah, but there's not infinite soaking
quilt? Is that? Oh? Fair? Fair, I'm from the game.
Plants are just considered a good part of your daily diet. I'm sorry.
They give you energy, he's your good good for the lungs. You
know. Once I think I need one, to give me one of those.
There you go. Everybody smokes. Now now you guys are speaking my
are smoking my life. Just by the way, old Tony is like three
hundred and fifty pounds in his like sweating. He is sweating. I didn't
he is because he looked like the fat conductor from Thomas the tang Kenjin.
Yes, yes, okay, he's like a very fat, very unhealthy mister
monopoly is okay? All right? Wait, you guys really think I have
lung cancer, rich uncle Penny bags. Okay, I have a plan,
guys, I have a plan. So normally I'm the high sky. I
want to sneaking in the night and like we have all these different plans and
operations. I think it'd be for this. This is like the moment I've
been waiting for. We walk in with suits, we gotta play some badass
music, we start blowing it up, and then we kill snow. Sounds
good to me, sud I like this kid, Listen, whoa whoa,
whoa, whoa whoa. There's going to be a lot of civilian or uh
not civilian unnecessary casualties if we end up doing that. The guards are just
employed to protect the most important people. They don't know our goals, they
don't know that we're the good guys. Yes, Willhelm, I have a
thing. So actually I've did some research for background study on my character,
and it turns out when the mob wanted to like infiltrate a place, what
they would often do is find specifically people who are new hires and maybe like
you know, not as ingratiated. And yet so this is a place,
right that's going to have a cleaning staff something along those lines. Let's clipboard
tactic it right, Start approaching people who are new find an in. My
cat's walking in the room. He's adorable, and that way we will Helm
has a cat, and that way we can infiltrate from the inside. Get
someone who might leave a little bit of a lock open, you know what
I'm saying. I like that idea. Also, just throw some coins there
away. They'll usually just listen. You know, money's the ultimate currency.
Right that he's not a bad idea, Juna says. But if he wanted
to do that, we shouldn't have waited until night. There's still people,
there's there's a cleaning staff there, there's somebody has to be there anything.
There's gonna be the least people there at night. So if we want to
go in guns blazing, I think we go now would be the time.
All right, then, but we have to do everything in our power to
make sure that people don't get hurt unnecessarily. I know it might have gotten
lost over the last few months. We are the good guys. I mean
good and evil are kind of like I don't try to think about those words
in my line of work. You know, I killed William Shakespeare. I
very much so disagree where we stand on this spectrum. Yeah, but you
were you feel remorse for killing William Shakespeare. Now, I say, I
will if like the Wilhelms character Rock is real, or if it's like very
sofast level his internal internal struggle, it's performance for him so far and he's
hoping it sticks. Yeah, I'm sorry, Cody. I feel I'm losing
myself a little bit here because I hate Snow so much and she's so evil,
so I feel like all my actions are kind of justified. But yeah,
we're definitely still the good guys. We're trying to save the world.
I mean, you can call yourself whatever you want to make yourself sleep better
at night. The cat, by the way, Wellington definitely has the cat
that walked in and it's now on my lap and it's perfect. Yeah,
this is Wellington's cat. Wellington would have a cat, Yeah, it would
have a cat. I do have sleep selected for today, so we could
maybe make make some guards go to sleep. Steal their armor, pretend to
be guards, and then break snows knee caps. It's not a bad idea
to infiltrate like that, good idea. Do you know? Are you?
Are you coming with us? You said I. She spins a pistol in
her hand. I've been known to kill a man or two to get jobs
done. All right, hit woman, That's exactly what we need in this
lot of work. All right, only man like No. Morman's been telling
me about this thing called feminism. And let me tell you you you,
madam, I like Wilhelm. Women don't often piss me off as much as
men do. Go sister, No, it's get a girl. This is
an exception. I will say that this is the first time. This isn't
a eception. I will shoot snow if I have to. Uh, I
say to everybody's on this page here, I'm all right, let's let's get
rupe. Let's get this party moving. Jeremy, fetch my top hat and
my beating cane. Who is Jeremy? With everything? Suddenly and burst through
the door. I heard my name, somebody said, Jeremy. Jeremy,
fetch me my top hat. Of course, of course, he runs into
the room. He pulls out the top hat randomly, like, wait,
that's my top hat back from my the Rip of Days. I would will
Helm and Norman and be like, can we get rid of this guy?
I don't really know how the device works, right, Yeah, we we've
clicked some buttons or something and hope you will come back. I don't know
if Big Tony here could fight. Oh I could fight the son I've really
been hearing. Oh he's from Sorry as you motherfuck back. Then as you're
talking Jeremy's factory, Jeremy's got his ear out. He's listening, and then
he relays it to Big Tony and he comes back. Big Big Tony's whole
thing is he's this despotic ruler of like a steel factory. He knows when
his employees are talking ship for him, behind the scene, he knows all
around like Jeremy. Jeremy is essentially a little cartoon character running around. Jeremy
is not a real person. He's part of Big Tony's domain expansion factory,
which is another word for his delusions. Let's let's let's go all right,
let's just do it all right? Did Anthony make me a sword? I
feel like he gave you the dagger thing, right, Yeah, he made
you. Yeah, he made you a welcome. Great, we'll get we'll
get to that. We we'll it to that. So you guys leave.
It is now nighttime in the streets. You could see in the distance.
You guys are sort of in the middle city at the moment, and there
is a there is a central wall that's warred around the central city, like
the upper city. Sorry, where the fountain and the palace and some of
the more refined housing is. And yeah, I mean what what what where
do you want to go? What do you want to do? Well?
Who's coming with you? Firstly? Sorry? Oh yeah, ye sorry,
Jesus, meet us for Jesus. Are you just bringing Jesus and Juna?
Or you could not bring Jesus or Juna. It's you your choice. Maybe
we don't want to bring Jesus. I want to bring she has she's got
that. It's very worried about this now, talk is very worried about his
log cancer. Will Helm will Helm, sir Button. Oh yes, sir
Button's here. I would go wherever Norman goes. I was just sitting there
and listening to the conversation and have an incredible time, Norman. I agree
with everything he says, even when he changed his mind. All good to
know. Uh yeah, Jesus, do you want to come? Hey,
man, I can. I can sit here and make sure that Washington's all
right. Yeah. Washington has been crying in the corner of the room the
whole he was just in the corner. Never would maybe you just look after
him, because I don't think Washington and is not going to be a great
company. They're like they've become like really close off screen friends over the course
of like your adventures. So he's going to go back. He puts an
arm around Washington. Jesus and Washington. Yeah, Jesus and Washington. He
sits down. It's like, hey there, buddy, it's okay, Man,
will be everything will be all right, Jesus Jesus. Yeah. So
it's the only the only PCs we're bringing with us are going to be sir
button and right, okay, all right, we'll set off. We'll towards
where where is Snow residing right now in the palace. In the palace,
and I'm assuming that's also where Finn is. Yes, he's under some sort
of guard because obviously the next move after killing her is basically reinstating the royal
family. We do need Finn. We'll just make our way towards the palace
then, do we want to move through the streets and any sort of stealth?
Now A big Tony's moving through and like twirling, twirling his cane.
Big as long as like if me, Willhelm and Norman just stay out of
sight while we make our way to the palace. I don't think we're going
to have any issues. So you can hide behind Big Tony. There's enough
space. Honestly, yes, you guys, you're walking a line behind Big
Tony and nobody can see you. He's like if you're if you're looking from
my head, like if a palace guard is looking down on the staircase,
there's no way you're seeing. He's like an s u V with seven children
behind him. All right, So you guys, walking through the town,
you eventually reached the sort of gate to the Upper City and there are two
guards standing outside the gate to the Upper City at the moment. There the
night Watch and they're they're standing there. Okay, I do want to stay.
There is more than one gate to the Upper City. There was just
this is just one of them. Yeah, there's four northeast southwest. Is
the gates closed? The gate is closed? Yah, okay, and the
guards are there. I'm saying they don't see you. You're enough distance that
you could see the gate and the guards all right then and there, and
they're just chilling. How many how many guards do we see? Is it
just the two? Just just the two just chilling shooting the ship in the
palace. Is the gate like up appair like a light of stairs or is
it just on street level? Like where are the guards standing? Yeah,
it's I'd say it sloped up to the gate. There's no, it's just
just almost like a little mound. And then you've got the gate, so
you have a slope and then the two guards at the top of the slope.
Yeah yeah, yeah, all right, Wow, how do you want
to do this? Well, Norman, you want to you want to sleep
these guys and then we can just force our way through the gate. It
probably got the key, so you just take them. Yeah, yes,
let me read sleep. You roll dice amount and it has to equal their
hip points. Yeah. They are just simple guard though, So all five
d eighth yeah yeah, is that a level of one? If you.
You might want to roll it slightly guard. There's only two gods, the
two gods, and you fought these sorts of guards before, where you fought
with them and against them, and in a variety of different commodations. You
know that don't make it strong if I roll it at a higher level,
like an extra two D eight for each level. Yeah, yeah, what
are you gonna do, king, I'm gonna do it one level higher.
So that is seventy eight. How is he doing? Seventy h slash?
That is our good job. You cast it at the higher level, right,
yeah, you needed it to be above thirty. They were fifteen HP,
So okay, you do. Put the bob a sleep, you cast,
you move your hands, you whisper something underneath your breath, and the
two guards in front of you go, oh, I'm going to sleep.
Do you think they would mind if I just take a quick little kip?
Yeah, I don't think she minds at all. She doesn't have any enemies
anymore. As soon as they drop down, I'm gonna start looking see if
they have any sort of key on them. Are you you're just going to
walk up to them? Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Hilarity of working in
security, and someone will says, yeah, our boss doesn't have any enemies
anymore. Yeah, you do. You find you find a ring of key
that open the gate. I'm definitely snatching that and trying it. Then you
put the key in and the gate slowly creaks open, and now you're inside
the Upper City. You see these like towering buildings. You've seen them before,
you've been here before. You do see in the distance the giant fountain
that is in the middle of the Upper City with eleven of the twelve sections
of it lit up, sort of illuminating the area in the night. Do
we do we want to steal the guard's uniforms? Yes, that was the
Who do they fit? They're gonna They're gonna fit me and Willhelm. They
would fit you and Wilhelm. Yes, yeah, I'm gonna be too small,
and June has got four arms. What like, how good does the
uniform look on us? Like? Is it actually? Because it would be
suspicious as hell. It's a couple of sizes off. You know what I
I I when I picture these guys, they are about your two builds anyway,
so I think they feel pretty good. We're both pretty bulky. The
guys would be relatively bulky, trying to make the turn invisible, or anyone
should be turning like me and Juna, or yeah, now that we're in
the open, prisoners, oh we could we could do the old prison apply.
Yeah, we could do against snow. And to show my character growth,
I made an accurate pop culture reference because I listened to Now I'm down
for that. That'll be super fun. Okay, all right, you guys
dorn the armor, Yeah, like the other four of them. Yeah,
yeah, uh yeah, Button's like I'll do probably tied up. I mean,
if you're if you're sure this is the right plan, Norman, how
do anything? It's not. I want to point out that the ropes that
like so Cody, Cody was like a scout. He knows, he knows
tying rope. They're those types that like when you pull on him, it
just instantly like pop perfect perfect. It looks like a not but when you
pull on it just yeah, yeah, it's loose, like yeah, yeah,
okay, is big Tony allowing himself to be tied up in this planet?
That's the thing. I don't feel like he would. I feel like
I don't need to get tied up, and I belong here. This is
where this is. Big Tony goes where he pleases. Big Tony if anyone
asks, you turned these guys into us. All right, Oh, don't
worry. I have the exact planned, son. I've run a company before.
These people are sleeping on the job. I know how to handle this,
all right. All right, everyone tied up're gonna we're gonna walk towards
the palace and saunter. I'm sauntering, you guys venture towards the palace until
you eventually reached the gates of the palace. There are more guards outside here,
about four of them. And like as I'm tied up, and you
guys are bringing me over towards like the other guards. Norman, just like
fu Now let's gopid bit of the cut, like I need to be a
prisoner, but like letting out his like his his frustrations. All right,
one of the up to the gate. One of the gods, what what
what's going on here? Oh, let's not talk about what's going on here.
Let's talk about those two guards at the other gate. They are sleeping
on their job. That is costing you and your boss money and you need
to deal with that instantly. They need to be reprimanded. If these guys
are trying to pretend to be those two gods, they know I'm pointing way
off the other side, way off. Wait, not in the direction you
came. Yeah, he was pointing in a random direction. All right?
Can I have a deception role for Big Tony? All right? Does Old
Tony? Does Big Tony have with no? Just just a flat deception roll
this? Yeah? Sleeping on the job, eh, sleeping on my goddamn
job. That's that's right. We found these guys trying to slip past the
other guards because they was a sleeping y'all. Y'all, I'll tell you what.
If that happened at my place, I'd be smacking him with my cane
right about now. And who are these lots here? Well? O the
cunt this this here? You surely you recognize him? Oh yeah, nor
man? Oh yes, he was trying to sneak in to hurt the mighty
Snow, our beloved. We can't have that, can we, No,
sir, So we reprimanded him and his group and we're gonna take him to
Snow directly for punishment. You have advantage deception here because of Big Tony's success
with his deception. Oh, I was kind of playing off of Big Tony
success. Say you are playing off it with you? Doesn't doesn't, doesn't
Willhelm want to speak up and help? Go ahead, courdy, alright,
we need to get moving the time shifting soon. Yes, twelve, that's
good enough. I needed to be about him. I got it. They
are they are on they are on active watch for these these guys, and
it's super plausible, especially with Big Tony's back up here. So they they
go, all right, then bring them up to Silas. Then he'll know
what to do with them. Alright, ah, Silas, of course,
Yes, let's go, and I just sauntered through the gate. When they
open it or whatever they do, he turns right and goes these lot of
bringing prisoners up to Silas. Make sure to score them there walking walking,
walking through, walking through. All right, I'll tell you what actually though,
Big Tony. As you get to the gate, one of the guards
pits his hand on you and goes, hey, we appreciate at you,
but guards only from this point onwards, thanks for turning these guys in.
For what it's worth, he was the one that turned them in. I
think snow would. By the way, I'm here to meet with Snow.
I'm Big Tony, owner of ten Ton Pittsburgh Steel, and I'm with her.
Snow is preoccupied at the moment. It is the middle of the night.
My good sir, Just you wait until the morning, you can have
your meeting with Snow. I'm sure she reward you handsomely for your who says
the guards into the building at the moment. No, he's a vampire.
He can't come out during the day. So we asked come at night,
snow nose, Snow's fat. Sorry, could you give me only why that
I could? Just if you give me a dip really quickly. I should
have done this run with I should have done this already. I'm going to
use this on I'm going to use this on Willhelm, if you will allow
me. I want to enhanceability. Yeah, give him and give him the
owls. Wait not the hour? Is it? No? Fucking vampires exist
in this world? Why am I rolling with disadvantage? You vampires don't exist
in this world. We've never met a vampire, and we've never You've never
met a vampire this world. That's right, Norman just sucks off my success.
I'm gonna hattability just to give him. It gives him advantage on charisma
checks. But okay, so I guess its regular. Okay, so just
give me a regular deception then splendor with that joke? Does he get more
damage in his next toime? Take psychic damage from that? Yeah? Okay,
Wow, shout? Is that funny? He goes. I mean,
the guy is gonna take it like a joke. He will go very funny.
I'm as well. But but this big fella has to wait his turn
to the morning griese on the ground and then knock him over with my cane.
Well, what's that? You just tripped and fell. Got a cap
for where you walk in the street there, So okay, I'm gonna stop
leading our untrage further into the palace. He just tripped and fell. Anybody
could say it was behind me? Like no, no, no, no,
no question. Quick question. Does he'd get knocked over the person he
has to do a saving throw? Right? It would be with disadvantage.
It's grease because the ground is slippery. Oh, I would be disavanted,
but he will do one. I mean that that is a hostile. No,
he just tripped and fell. He just tripped and fell. Man,
They got to clean up the ship in the Yeah, well, the guy
who got pushed on the ground is not gonna think he got tripped and fell
because he knows that. He stands up and goes, what the fuck do
you think you're doing? Who stands up? Well, when he stands up,
he's on the grease floor around. I mean, I'm through the door,
man, I'm going no, no, no. Cody and Wilhelmer through
the door with the prisoners. They are not letting Big Tony through the door,
so I mean they they're honestly, they don't think that there's they what
their current mindset is is this guy is a problem. The guards are fine,
they're doing their thing, but this guy's acting up. So Wilhelm and
Cody, you guys can enter the building. But the two guards they are
now, they have stopped Big Tony. One of them is in front of
like, all right, all right, mister, you've gonna you You've got
to go home. I think you might have had too much to drink.
I turn into mist because I'm a vampire and I cast ashes for it's an
I wrote a list. Okay, I really love the empire, so you
turn into gash just missed in front of him, and they go and just
and just float up. I didn't know you were really a vampire. They
turn to go, fuck, I guess he was a vampire. I have
a steel magnate from the early twentieth century that does child labor. Of course,
I'm a vampire. Check out, check out, check out. Okay,
okay, so yeah, you you push a guy over, you turn
it to miss and you slip in as the doors close onto a yeah or
that or like an air doctor or anything I could fit into a place that's
like an inch big, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay,
you're gonna be like right behind us. As the close does close behind
us, will heelm and be like I did an accent so that they wouldn't
tell it was me? Right, Yeah, kind of natural. It really
worked. Also, is he a fucking vampire? For real? I have
no idea. I love that. Sorry, you can't come in here.
I turn into missed. Oh god, oh god, in sanity. All
right, we're in the palace. Boys. We did it, okay,
okay, one way or another? Oh all right, I got it right
here. Yep, gash his form artifice or spell read it and weep yep,
okay, okay, beautiful, beautiful, okay, all right, we're
I guess we're getting led towards Silas. Uh huh, right as you as
you entered the build themselves inside the guards because that that were heard the order
from outside, and it's it's sort of this big guy he's got like he's
bored, with scars across all of his face. He's like, all right,
lads, so you've got prisoners here. Sort of a weird time for
them to be turned in, but we're trying to sneak in at night.
I mean, they were trying to sneak in at night time. Yeah,
yeah, those bastards. How many? Yeah? Right? All right?
So yeah, right this way then, and he leads you across the hallway
into sort of like quite a dark barracks looking area of the palace. There's
lots more guards here, you know. He enter into this big room and
Silas is there. He's still awake at this hour. He's this. He's
also bored. I don't know why they're all bored. Everybody's big, big
Tony has a top hat on, so you can't tell you, you can't
tell. So Silas is there. He it's it's quite a dimly lit room.
He's got his foot up on top of a table with maps and it.
You recognize this guy because he was in the courtroom when when you trial
happened. He was in the He's the he's the general of Vestoria's army.
He is bored. He's got a big scar running down his face. He's
wearing this like silver shining armor, even in this in this room with like
red adorning him. Have I have I seen a god salute in Vestoria before?
Probably? Probably? I think I'll just mimic that when we get up
to southwest, sir, And what does a Vestorian salute look like? Oh
gosh, oh we got to invent what I have a storied salute looks like.
No, that's just like jacking up a man that is bigger than you.
They put their hands on their knees and then chriss crossed them. Sorry,
I need to stop everything for a moment. I hit space right when
Restage said it's like jacking up a man that's bigger than you, and that
unmuted twitch for me for some reason, so I heard it loop and that
was the it's just back that's bigger than you. Yeah, oh. Silas
gets up. He stands up and he salutes back and he says, hello,
what could I do for you? Well, I was hoping you could
leaders to snow. You see, I think you will recognize the prisoner we
have here. He he He walks over to the prisoners and sort of looks
down at them. Oh, yes, Norman, right, and then he
looks over at the mushroom guy. What the fuck is this? M this
he's my boy I'm his boy friend, and I am the proud apprentice of
Norman the Great Wizard. I am son of Baron, ambassador for Sacramento,
and I am here as on prisoner duty performing my roe. Well am I
not right? And yeah, snows a bitch? Yeah, I mean,
and Juna's playing in. Juna is sort of thrashing around. It's like you've
bastard. It spits it into like Silas's direction. She's getting into character.
She's definitely like, yeah, we found these discontents trying to sneak into the
palace grounds, sir. How unfortunate to be caught so easily. He sort
of kneels down and looks Norman in the face. He sort of grabs you
by your chin. Stares you deep in the eyes. So you, guys,
what's happened to the rest of your friends? As he says this,
Can I cast sleep as well? You can try? He looked into my
eyes and I like, like blow some dust at him for magic? Does
that how sleep works? You? I make it my own Norman way,
Norman, Yeah, I can't sleep chloroform? Can am I allowed to roll
that? Yeah? Of course I'm going to do it at the third level
this time, which before you do this, when you do cast a spell,
people know that you've cast a spell. Right, there's other guards in
the room. There are other guards in the room. There are there's probably
there's the big one that brought you in. There are probably one, two,
three, four, four other guards in the room, so five plus
silas? What is what is the range of of sleep sleep? Because here's
the thing. Yeah, I can hit everything. If you roll it like
max level and it hits everyone in the room and you roll high enough,
it could sleep every It could. But I do want to I do want
to say it goes from lowest HP upwards though, yeah, lowis a right.
So is there an open button to like start a riot? I didn't
realize there was that many, So it's not going to do that was the
question that he asked the rest of the boys. Where your little friends did
them? Telling you ship, Oh, you're a feisty one. See.
I find it a little suspicious that you came here alone. This means one
of two things. Either your friends died to Snow's assassins as intended, and
you're here for revenge, or your friends are trying to infiltrate somewhere else and
you're just a distraction. No, I haven't quite decided which one it is
for the time being. He pulls out a spear. I think I'll be
doing Snow a favor by getting rid of this little problem, and he points
it up against your neck. Oh, Normans, don't you think, respectfully,
sir, that Snow would want to see this little fellow. Maybe it
acts in vengeance herself. He gives you such a hard look, like,
how dare you talk to the general that way? To raise my voice?
I don't even think he says. I think he says a dead body is
just as good as a live one. Okay, I like that attitude.
I think I might change sides. You're still gas. He's just thinking that
I'm thinking that in the airdox. It last an hour. It lasts an
hour. Yeah, all right, Norman says, fuck it. So he's
like, Snow, Snow was my ex. I, I let me talk
to her before you kill me one last time? Why would I grunt your
request? Because I'm him and I can't. I've the cash, steel wind
strike. Okay, guards, all right, here we go it. Oh
is that gonna happen? How many guards are there? Again? Five?
Yeah? Five? And then the sun So the six people in the road,
I get hit. Oh, I get hit every silas and four guards
with this attack go ahead. Wow. So I'm like, because I'm him,
and I writ my ropes and I just disappear in front of him.
I will let you. I will let you do this, and then we'll
roll initiative. And as I pull, as I break my ropes, I
flourish my new dagger. Ooh okay, doesn't actually matter, but it's cooler
to normal to the dagger than stuff. Okay, okay, yeah, all
right, all right on hit a target, take sixty ten four damage.
Al right, so you've got to roll to hit right on the five targets.
What am I rolling against this? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
Right, we probably should just add it as a clickable figure on your sheet.
It's your spell caster ability modifier PUS proficiency, right, you know what,
I'm gonna add it right here. I'm gonna add it right here.
Ship. I didn't that I misclicked. It's called the spell attack bonus and
your spell sheet. It should already be there after all. But hey,
here's he's moving around trying to it's plus eight. It's a D twenty plus
eight. Just roll a D twenty plus e. Now I get to do
my funny reveal rusted all attack the game never started, all right, right,
welcome back. So he's a bridge you do breaks. Just let me
take a second to teach you something about row twenty. If you type in
slash R one D twenty and then type in plus eight, it will do
that for you. I do know that. I figured it would be faster
just to say plus eight. They're I've got to do the matsy Do you
have to do it for each person? Make a meally spell attack and get
against targets. Okay, so the first one will be against silas plus I'll
type it in every time. No, you could just press the up arrow
and then it will do the last roll. If you're row breaks his hair
alone. How row twenty works slash r space one D twenty plus eight.
Then you press enter great twenty five. Now if you if if you press
the up arrow, you'll see it or refill your thing with the right the
thing you type last. I don't know where the up arrow is. No
on your keyboard. Oh there you go. Okay, and then you just
keep doing that up arrow and to up arrow enter the remaining four times.
Somebody a quick favor and just add together quick maths just the number of D
and D sessions that breaks is played. And the best part is, I'm
a DM, now, yeah, DM, Now do we manage? We
manage our way through it. It's fine. I would actually love to host
a D and D game with you guys. We'll do it. Do it
down a player, okay, Okay, two hundred hours of experience, ye
boy, I mean we've been doing this for over three and a half years
across three D. Now. Like, so you said it was five D
ten each, No, it's so they all hit, Yeah, they all
hit. It's sixty ten samonds. Okay, So you and you could do
the same thing here, right, you could do the sixty well, actually,
just run it once and they will take that damage. It's fucking easier.
That's a good one. Holy shit, that's a good one. WHOA
Yeah, okay, I just want to clarify. Is Norman trying to kill
these guards because they did guards non lethally for Cody the guy in fun of
me knock those guys out? Yeah, so I'm gonna non lethally cyrus,
You're just trying to kill Okay. I I think just because it's for damage,
I will let him do it. It probably isn't. I think rules
is written it you can only you can't knock people out with spells. But
I will let it happen because I think it makes sense for him to dash
around it just fucking essentially like karate chop with his blade and a bunch of
guards next bung them on the back of the neck. Okay, with forty
five damage you knock out? Well? Yes, The thing is that is
massive damage for some of the guards though, So I don't I think for
some of them, ah would that that might just kill them? Anyway?
Yeah, it knocks out some of them. It will kill a couple,
uh, Norman, you fucking I mean, that's the it's the steel wind
around you is ripping into the guards as you florry around the room, you
like rip them apart, essentially into shreds. With how much force damage you're
doing into them. Five of the guards in the room drop to the floor.
Four of them dead, one of them. I attacked four of the
guards and sorry, then four of them dead. Silas takes forty yes,
like the guards fifteen HP five damage to them. Wow. I'm just responding
to what you said was some of them are gonna die. Yeah, wow
basic. Yeah. Right. So now Snow's guards that are supposed to protect
her or a bunch of weenies. So Norman kills four guards and then damages
the main guy. I guess. Yeah, Silas is not down you like,
I tried to hit them non lethally. They there's so much wind force
in this room you don't know your own strength. Genuinely, they're like they
tried. They're like torn to shreds on the ground. Oh god. Uh.
And Silas like you crack it to his armor, like one of his
armors, things burst off into the wall, blood dripping down from it,
blood cracked across his face, But he is still alive, and so is
the the guard that brought you in. So I will do a initiative role
for everyone. No battle map, I've just keep track on my piece of
paper. Okay, roll me some initiatives. So do we spring an anime
post before we start fighting Stylus Silas. Silas brings out his spear in anger.
Oh ah, blood dripping down from his face. I should have known
you would do something like this. So are your friends still alive or he?
Was this a suicide? Last man? Stand? I have no need
to talk to a dead man. Oh cold, that's cold. Sorry.
Rolling for Douna twenty Sorry Douna's first, and then Button as well. I
gotta do Button get colder. There's snow. What's great as well is because
Big Tony is just like still, I'm in the vents and just kind of
observing. Yeah yeah, you could. You could like drop in at any
time, or you could just sit there and watch. And I'm curious which
one Big Time's gonna do. So he pulls back his spear, ready to
attack Norman, and at this point Juna breaks out of her things. She
flings up a coin in the air, shoots a bullet at the coin,
it rebounds off the coin. The bullet hopefully is going to go into silas.
Let's see. Oh yeah, yeah, bullet goes into silas during critical
damage. But I will say that's like, that's a terrible crit. The
coin then bounces off the wall because of the force of the bullet rebounds off
the wall and also hopefully hits into silas. Yep, which it does sick,
which more damage than the crit did. Uh, this is just like
fucking the second miss Bawn series. Yeah, it feels like something from that.
Yeah, and the coen loudged into like the side of his neck.
The bullets like at the also in his neck, I guess, or into
his shoulder, dealing a total of nineteen damage. My guy has taken so
much damage and it before his down even begins. Yeah, and it is
now button. Yeah, it's button. It's sir, button, Sir Button
breaks out of his chains and I won't follow your lead. Norman and his
buddy you win. These lightning blade coming down twice. One of them hits,
dealing a total of thirty damage into the guy. Oh my gosh,
striking down like a lightning blade. But the second attack misses and Silas will
use his reaction to repost and stab button. Stay strong Button. How much
help does button have? Do we have any idea? Takes twenty damage,
which is significant, quite significant, stabbing it to the side. That's an
odd texture, Silas says, as it rips into him. Okay, yeah,
Button, Button is is wounded. We move on now to Norman.
Norman, it's your turn. Okay, no, it's Silas's turn. Sorry
now, it's actually Silas's turn. By bad Now, it's actually Silas's turn.
It's not your turn, Norman, he normally he turned. Silas turns
around to you and says your turn. And what he means is he's gonna
attack you. Silas brings out his spear covered in like mushroomy gunk, and
he's gonna make three spear attacks, stabbing them like at three different points on
your body. One, two, three, oh two of those hit,
Norman. Two of them hit. Actually my armor class is thirteen. Three
of the hit really arcade deflection on the last one. Okay, okay,
only two of them hit. Then these are good. These are high rolls
for him. So you yeah, you take forty six damaged? Norman?
Is he like there's like a League of Legends character that does that where he
just sort of spams the spear into somebody. I don't know, Pantheon.
Pantheon does that. He's doing he's fucking pantheoning you. Okay, but now
it's your turn. Norman waight back. Not bad, not bad, buddy.
So does he look? How wound does this guy look? Oh?
He looks very wounded. There is there is a bullet in his shoulder,
dripping blood. There's a coin lodging in his throat. He's got rips all
over his armor from the steel wind strike. He's got a gash across from
button. He's less than half hp for sure. Can you describe where the
guard is relative to this guy? Uh? The guard is behind you,
guys. So you guys are all standing in a line, and then Silas
is in front of you, stabbing you, and behind you is the other
guard because he's the guy escorted in, the big lad who escorted you in.
So right behind you a guard right in front of you Silas. Okay,
Norman goes not bad, not bad. But like I said, I'm
him. I don't even need to need to look at you to hit these
shots. Covered his eyes and half magic missile at a higher level. Damn
who you hitting with the I'm gonna use magic missile at the fourth level okay?
Cool? Okay? So that is three, four or five six missiles?
Six missiles okay, and I'm gonna do five towards the main guy.
Five missiles towards the main seven. It's seven, actually I think seven.
It's a it's yeah, it's one pretty six in starts of three at four
first level for a second level five, a third level six at football.
Yeah. So so that's all towards our main enemy. Okay, wow,
Mark, you do the maths seventeen seventeen Wow, Okay? That I mean
that cuts into silas. He's not down, but he is fucking bloodied on
at his knees. The's wow. And then I spin my staff and pointed
behind me and hit the guard once yeap for three three damage? Um?
Yeah, okay, he takes that, he takes three. He's still standing.
He hasn't been hit once this guard behind you, so he's still standing.
And now it is Anthony's tone all right, Big Tony's in the air
duct is a form of gas and he thinks you guys have gotten this taken
care of. So I'm gonna go through the vent and try to find Snow's
room. Okay, you start chattling what you won't get very far because the
comment will be over like five seconds. But yes, but I'm going I'm
in the vetsy this form last and hours. Yeah, okay, now it
is Willhelm's turn. Willhelm dressed as a guard. Did they have a good
helmet? Like? Do I have a hard hat? You have a helmet
on you? Okay, improvised weapon. We're good. So I'm gonna rip
that off. And who's the closest enemy to makes the map's not up?
Silence will be I'm gonna say that they're both sort of equi distance ones just
in front of ones behind. I thought me, me and me and Wilhelm
would have been right next to Norman at the front of this like trend.
Yeah, well they're they're lined up horizontally more so than sorry, horizontally instead
of it being like normans at the front, like as we got in front
of Silace. Yeah, you line them up right, Yes, you're sort
of on either side of that line at the moment, so you could you
are equal distance from the guard behind you and Silas in front of you.
What do you want to do? How so it does? It seems like
Silas is pretty well handled, right he looks by, Yeah, oh,
do I want to try and finish him this round or take on? And
there's the big fellow behind you as well, he's looking he's cracking his knuckles.
I'm not going to provoke an attack of opportunity either way, right,
Uh no, I won't say sirs, trying to just finish off one enemy
this round. Okay, you crab your helmets off your head and you do
your your two improvised weapon attacks. Well, first I need to crack my
little joke time, get ready with the pole? All right, what's the
joke? Ready? I'm I'm just gonna say, let me give you some
head. I'm pretty sure Chat's gonna give me for last time. But we'll
see. There's some I think there are some Willhelm forgivers in the chat,
some Wilhelm apologists. Yeah, yeah, okay, I gotta let me log
in in votes so that I can help sway. You're not allowed to vote
six yes right now? Yeah, I think this is sort of almost unanimously
yes here I did vote no, but the scales hell, you rip off
your helmet, you say, let me give you some hedge. Silas goes,
wait, what the fuck? And you mash him? So I mean
you have to hit for the damage to go through. So yeah, do
you critically fail the first one. That's the second one, I think though,
right, the second one does it. The second one does it,
So that's fine, you're gonna have the down. It's like the first one.
You like ping off his armor and like the helmet flies away, you
have to rip off another piece of piece of help. Yeah, probably probably
No, does he wearing a helmet? I'll hit his helmet off, ketch
it and hit him. He's not wearing a helmet. His bald head is
like very much visible. Okay, then can I use one of my things
to do another attack? Oh yes, now you can do your Fluria blows
with you off hand fists. Well, can I use trip attack instead?
You could do trip attack with this improvised weapon if you want. Yeah,
it's let's just do Fluria blows. I want to try and end them.
Okay, go ahead, remember to roll the extra D eight damage for your
for your joke being funny. Oh yeah, just add to that seven.
Uh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, roll a d eight to that.
Seven okay, yeah, yeah, yeah slash. I prefer clicking the
button. Click the button, take the button. You could do that.
You could do that. Three ten, ten, Oh my god, he
is he is low. Do your floria blows? There is a chance you
could finish here, go ahead, where's floria blows again? It's just your
monk fist. It's your fist. Now that Wilhelm's not into killing people?
Is he going to non lethally? Wow? Wow's flurry? Right? Do
you have another one to do the other one? That one does? Hit
that? What does hip in the same attacks? Yes, that that is
incredibly rough. Your first fist comes flying towards your opponent. Ugh, and
I will say, you're gonna take damage from this because he's gonna dodge out
of the way and you're gonna smash the like the steel table behind him.
So roll the damage of the first monk fist that's going to go towards you,
which is six. Now roll the damage of the second one that will
go towards him, because then you spin round. Yeah, nine is enough
to finish off Silas. Are you doing it lethally or non lethally? Are
you doing it lethally on, I should not from non lethally So how are
you gonna do it? Did you slam your fist on the tail table.
I'm just gonna straight up trying and box or break his jaw. I wont
his jaw broken and put him on the floor. You swing your fist with
force, smash it, crunching against his jaw, and he spins backwards,
almost like in slow motion, as some of his teeth fly out of his
jaw, blood splitting out, and then he collapses on the ground. Okay,
can I say my finishing line? What's your finishing line? Do you
feel a holy spirit? I guess so. I guess he does so hard
the context, he was just disappointed. It is now the Guard's turn.
That was behind you guys, and I think he's gonna go off to with
Helm, who has just knocked in my conscious. I mean, he's not
that strong, like obviously Silence is the big guy here. But the guard
comes round. This card's this card's plucky, he's got moxie. He's gonna
do it. He's gonna go with the distance. Okay, yeah, I
guess. So let's see. He pulls out his large axe what's wrong.
No, I just had a realization for something later down the road for my
character. I'm excited for your game, Rustage. That's glad. I'm glad.
I'm glad. He pulls out an axe and he's trying to take a
swing down on Wilhelm. He's not going the distance, critically fail Willhelm.
You dodge out the way, and he just splits the table into and now
can I do my rapasty? You could do your RAPOSTI that I thought you
were going to say that. He quickly fails, and he just kills the
unconscious silence. He smashes, He smashes it into the table. The table
splits it to down the moment down the middle. You now have an opportunity
to repost or we prese it wouldn't any of them right anymore. I think
it'd be your improvised weapon, which is fine, that's the most damage.
Yeah uh yeah, you swing around, I guess still with the helmet in
your hand. I just wish I could have a Bible, and that would
be my improvised weapon for everything. Just a bible. Have a bible.
Jesus has given you a bible. You have four of them. Let's see
that's it. Use a bible. I turn around and hit him with it.
Yeah, you hit him with the bible. You swing the bible around,
smashing into this guy. He really turned into a bible ba yep,
that's yeah, crazy six damage. This guy is still her as it were.
This guy is still up. That's to do the Does the joke still
apply? R now? No, No, you've already done the joke.
It was per it's before you make an attack. He does have a second
attack. He's going to try and swing at you and that misses. Eleven.
Definitely misses because you are wearing armor now, so your armor class is
sixteen at the moment. Wait, why do you still say eleven? Oops?
Yeah, it should be sixteen because you're wearing the guards armor, so
you do have a higher armor glass sir. He swings round and it it
just you dodge it again. And now it is Cody's turn. He's done
a complete like three sixty, so he is now facing you. Cody.
Oh yeah, ah, I just I want to tell this guy any chance
of you giving up? Oh you say that dead in his eyes? Any
chances you giving up? And by the way, when when like Norman,
like tore Off, his restraints. When it came to my turn, what
I did is I like, I just like flexed and all the armor that
was like just like apart. Yeah, it's just my regular outfit again.
Any chance of you giving up? Hi? It is my duty to serve
the Queen ah well, and more importantly, it is my duty to get
vengeance for my friend. He looks down at silas his fucking magnot body.
I will not let the general be disuspected like this. That's fair. I'm
I'm just gonna try, and I'm gonna try and him with my bar bell.
I'm trying to knock him unconscious. Go ahead. He has got two
hands on this, doesn't have that much HP. He's just a regular guard.
I mean, he's a little bit better than the regard that does not
hit. Fuck that does not hit. Uh, he blocks it on his
like. I guess Courdy is just so he feels so bad about killing a
room full of guards. And this guy's like my friend. I'm like,
oh, oh no, closing my eyes at that's your actually right. You
don't have multi attacks, so I guess you STIM's a bonus action. Yeah,
I don't. I don't think I have anything that I want to do
right now as a bonus action. Now, Juna goes. It's due to
turn. Junic goes off of Love of God. Cody points the gun at
the guard. You gotta show a little bit of booze. Man, she's
gonna shoot, She's gonna miss. It's just the warning shot. You gotta
have some balls. Here's a warning show. Okay, Well, that's her
turn that it is now the button's turn. Norman, What shall I do?
I see the enemy in front of me, and I am ready to
slay this beast like you slew the others. I would say, try to
non lethally knock this guy out. We could use them knock him out.
You say, I feel bad for Cody. Okay, understandable. He looks
up at Cody, a little bit of jealousy in his eyes, and then
he souings his blade. Uh gosh, where is it? Yeah? He
swings his blade. This is hopefully non lethally. It doesn't hit. I
can't even hit this from Nobody's nothing's hitching this guy. He's like he's but
looking at with his things. I would never give up for my friend.
I stand strong, silent, the last guard standing. Yeah, Norman,
it is now your turn. How weak is this dude? Oh? Very
weak. He's bloodied. He's standing there with his axe in hand. But
I won't give up my friends. Yeah, all right, in a fair
amount. Norman wants to try out this new dagger, do it? Yeah,
please brought up and try to stab this guy. But I don't have
it on my sheet. Okay, it would be your strength, and I
don't think you're proficient. Well, it was a simple weapon, right,
it's a nagger. It's just a dagger that probably does like an extra dude,
like it would be a D twenty plus four to hit because it's just
plus your proficiency because you actually, I mean this guy, are just gonna
tears him with it. Wait, the dag is light. Actually it's got
light property. So yeah, no, it's B plus seven you have three
dexterity. It's just plus seven T twenty plus seven. Yeah, everybody's profession
with a dagger. I feel Jesus. You don't hit him. You come
up with a dagger and it just bounces off his arm and try to like
it's like the graze him, like non lethally and like electrocute them. Just
go out and get be knocked out, but I just miss Yeah. I
mean he's standing there. He's like, I don't keep fighting in his mind.
He's fucking blocking shit like crazy. He's like, he's like the hero
in this situation. Queen, this guy's got in his veins. You're just
in the events, you like. Yeah, every time I pass a vent,
I'm looking in the room. Is like, is that No, she
doesn't look important and just like trying to find Snow. Yeah, okay,
an important lady that might look like the name of Snow somehow. It is
now the God's turn again, he said, turn back to Wilhelm again.
Remind me like Wilhelm was the one that fucking knocked the guy out. Yeah.
He turns around with his axe in his hand. He's gonna fucking swing
and a fifteen just doesn't hit. It, just grazes off your armor.
Nobody could hit anybody in this room, but it does. You'll mute it.
Can I reprostitute? Can I rapute? Yes? I will let you
repost that first repost. I will let you repost that first rest repasta.
Okay, let's repastor r e pasta. Someone in chess said, we're having
a mid off. Can I choose what I'm doing to him. Yeah.
If it hits, of course, okay, okay, yeah, okay,
I mean what are you doing? What you do? What you do?
Yeah, it hits revised weapon. I want to so is it a double
sided axe or a single sided axe? It's a double side axe. Can
I catch it in my bible and just push it back in his hand?
Yeah? Sure? And I did say I actually did skip your turd because
I have your name crossed out for some reason. Maybe it's just because I
hate you. But seven wouldn't Seven would be enough to kill him, and
this is our much cooler way of doing it. He swings his axe down,
You catch it in the bible, and then, with great strength,
force the blade back into his face. Are you doing this non lethally?
Yeah yeah, okay yeah like his face? Yeah yeah, yeah, brain,
You're gonna maul him right into his face, cutting through he's like jaw
like cutting his nose off almost. Can I use my turn now because you
took it from me? Can I use it now on him? Well?
He's he's this is gonna knock him out. So okay, what are you
doing? That doesn't mean I'm done with him okay, but it doesn't need
to be in a tone order. You could just do stuff, he could.
You could collapse. You don't need permission now, he his eyes rolled
back into his head. He goes, gender, I'll let you down.
I'm sorry, and he collapses to the ground. Oh well, that gives
me a perfect golpening. I'm just gonna pad his face and go, yeah
you did, and then walk away. All right. I just wanted to
beat him spiritually too. I'm gonna I'm gonna use what rope I have to
to bind Silas in case he wakes up while where elsewhere, and I want
to search his body to see if there's any keys and stuff for the rest
of the palace in case we need to get into a locked room. I
assume he would have some sort of yes, yes, yes, key Silas
has has has the keys to the all of the the guests, like all
of the rooms. Here's the master key, skeleton key. I'm taking that,
and I guess I'll tie him to there's like cells in this room.
I'm assuming like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a couple there.
Yeah, I would just time to the bars of the cell. Yes,
yeah, probably great, he's there I'm conscious. All right. Hey,
hey, Cody, any any extra heels you get send my way. I
want to make sure I'm full strength before we face off with snow and whatever
I can, I can. No Button puts his hand out in front of
Cody. No need. Norman. I've been learning. Hm, he's gonna
cost. He's gonna cast on you, which I think is a what is
it a D eight that first let the first level? Yeah, plus casting
modifi. Yeah, so yeah, D eight plus three you get four h
HP. No Norman, So he touches you and like maybe one of your
cuts gets better, but not much HP. Do you feel better? It
took me a long time to learn. In that week that we spent traveling
from Sacramento to here, I was trying to learn healing so I could keep
you safe. He could. He's genuinely impressed. He's like, wow,
little guy, you you've really put in the work. That's that's impressive.
Of course you've still got some things to learn, though, and I will
I will just lay my hands on Norman as well to cast Creans. I'm
going to cast at a third level because you lost like forty health right,
yeah, and yeah, just slap a band aid on that you'll be fine.
Thank you, Button, I appreciate it. I'm impressed you learn the
new spell as well. I also want to remind the audience that Button is
not a player character. He's not a wizard or a He's just a guy.
He can learn whatever the fucking spell he wants. Just for some reason,
this isn't rolling my spell to chat. I guess I'll just type it.
Oh, no, it is. I'm just a fucking idiot. I
just didn't see the pop up. All right there, So it's it's gonna
be fifteen healing fifteen. Nice. That's good. That's enough. He looks
at Cody again. Yeah, he looks at Cody again, with jealousy in
his eyes. Well, no hard feelings, you've uh, you know,
you'll you'll pick it up. I will, and you'll see I will be
the greatest man that Norman will ever have at his side. Okay, the
great wizard, I think Button, I think you're already an invaluable asset.
Well I am, thank you. He still looks at you with a little
bit of a suspicion more so than anything. Okay, all right, boys,
do we know where snow would be? What are we thinking, like
Big Tony a little bit. All right, Yeah, Big Tony, I'm
gonna give me a flat perception, just as I sort of look around check
like none of the solid guys still like just sitting there with a broken jack
has no idea what's happening, regardless of what you guys plan to do.
Yeah, so, Big Tony, you hear sort of noises coming, you
hear sleeping noises, so you you follow the sleeping noises until you eventually reach
a room and you look into the room and you see Douglas Ratt is sleeping
there, sort of curled up in one of the fancy beds. I wouldn't
know who that is. Yeah, you don't know who that. You have
no idea who that is. But then you're now in the room area and
you're sort of looking around and you hear you hear quite explicit noises coming from
one room, sort of a sort of noise. To the best of my
ability to clip that and they can have it, Florida. I'm not saying
any of this because I'm in a gas form. To me, it would
be like internal dialogue or internal monologue and be like, God, it appears
someone's having some meeting a sexual congress, I'd say, yes, do you
look inside that room? I look inside the room. Yes, you look
inside the room, and you see King ya Hellovich and and Snow in full
coitus in the sexual cangers. It does very much look like Snow is entirely
in control of the situation, though she she definitely is. Snow is on
top. Now we've we've we've already talked about Yahalovich and Snowy Wood. Would
Big Tony recognize Tony who they are? Tony, Actually, I don't think
you know what they look like. No, so I thought about that.
You've just you've talked about Snow is like, all right, I know I
don't know what she looks like, but I know she is the leader of
this city, so she's gonna have a bit of a dominant kind of personality
about her. So I'm looking for a dominant woman named Snow. Does this
look like a dominant woman? Okay, that's gonna do it. So she's
obviously quite scantily dressed. The noises aren't coming from Snow. They are coming
from Yahalovich. Yallovich is making a lot of noise. He's very much like
Snow, seems relatively like quite so with a noise, just a simple like
sort of very subtle noises. Yeah, hell of it, just like oh
yeah, like very much. He is way more into it, yellow Itch.
Obviously he's he's dressed quite regally. You could see his four arms.
You don't know what a sulkin is, but he looks like Juna to you,
so you know, that's the only other sulkin you've seen. He's bluish.
He's bluish. Okay, four arms, and yeah, that is what
you're assuming. Also that the snow would be in a room that is quite
Is it very large? Is it very regal? Very large, candle lit,
a lot more impressive than like the guest room that Douglass would be in,
for example. And importantly, no windows in this room. It doesn't
look out over anything. There's a door though, of course, there is
a big door there all right, But importably you can imagine the bed where
there where things are going on right now. Is it like just a big
bed or does it have one of those like veils over it? It?
Definitely it has a veiled with the veils I could see through. Yeah,
the veils open just for the audience. Yeah, after the incident with Yallovich
in in no Venture. I don't think he's ever going to sleep in a
room with a window ever. Again, this is a special ya Hellovitch request.
Okay, so they're naked, I'm assuming yeah, well, I mean,
okay, they you know, Snow, they still have some clothing on
to an extent, they're not completely bare naked. Do you want to say
the fan artists are going to eat with this one? Yeah? Listen,
I'm a sorry audience who this This is just it's just what would happen?
Yeah? I mean that checks out for Snow, it checks out for Yallovich,
it checks out for both of them. I'm looking through all my spell
that I could. I can't cast spells all my gas form, so I
have to leave that state to do stuff. But I'm thinking of the hilarious
Do I cast haste on Yellovich so he just gets done? Really, I
mean, what would happen is then you turn into back into a big toady
and slap of the ground. Sorry, so you have Is that an actual
fire? Are you? Okay? No, my alarm is really sensitive.
Oh all right, so I assume that because it's a chance it's a fire
downstairs, and I'm like, you should shack. Oh that's fine, God
all right, oh my god, are there people downstairs that would tell you
someone show the alarm? So all right, I thought you were like,
would inform me of they forgot your upstairs this time to melt the snow?
Yeah, very poorly planned out, briggs assessication. Meanwhile, a big tony
Meanwhile, I didn't do any of that, by the way, of course,
And this takes a little bit of time for you to look around.
So mean, wow, whilst that's happening, Wilhelm Silas is unconscious, tied
up. What did you want to do? Specifically, Wilhelm, I'm trying
to think because you said, well, it sounded like you had an idea.
Sorry, oh god, damn it, I'm sorry. So funny.
You didn't even thumbs down. You were thinking of thumbs out. We all
know your truth thoughts. So when it so without the helmet, I still
look like a garden, right, I can still pass for one, because
I assume I lost it in the fight when I failed that attack. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, and it's not I this is like the bat.
But like for what we're planning to go forward, I'm trying to figure out
or I guess I could take another one. Yeah, yeah, I would
like, can we just torture the guy on the ground for all the information
we need? Yeah? I mean that's but we don't need any information could
with the pose? How much security is between us and that, like the
codes to get through certain rooms, where keys are. I mean, there's
always information you can grab, Like Cody has the skeleton key for the palace.
We just took out the General and a room full of his gods.
There is no obstacle between us and Snow only knowing where she is. Barracks.
You're saying this so confidently, Barracks the General. I thought, Okay,
all right, yeah, alright, then I just say we go storm
the building, like up, We'll just rate it, Yeah, up the
stairs. I think at this point all we can do is just find the
biggest, most important room, brick in and hope snows in there. Okay,
big Tony, are you coming back or you're gonna wait there for the
party? Oh I'm entering the room. Okay, gas just smoke into the
room. It's very dark so they can't see you. Tony takes a while.
It takes a while, even the gas cloud is huge. The room
fills with the steam, but like you know, I think they just a
lot of the measle sen of the It transforms back into old Tony, big
old back old, and he's just there at the foot of the bed,
just with his cigar and top hat, watching yell of bitch ah, an
opportunity if I was thirty years younger, I'm thinking, so you're thinking this,
Okay, all right, do I reform? No? He doesn't real
you know you? Yes, wait, some reform yes, yes, oh
so you were just doing a good bit. No, and I'm making the
bit that I I don't say the words. Well, if I was thirty
years younger, I would join it. I don't see that. But you
do turn back into big Tony Yep, yep at the foot of their bed,
or a like, not the foot of their bed, but like a
distance away. You can make a roll to see if they determine if they
are too busy. Screw and no no no no no no no no no.
Snow is always at a high alert. So this is happening as you
guys are making a way back up yep, as you guys are making your
way up the stairs, you're a dressed as guards. Now I think I
think you've got enough equipment for you to all sort of blend in as guards.
Yeah, of varying sizes, so you you were sort of almost like
a group of guards, sort of walking up up the stairs Big Tony.
You trust fall back into Big Tony and you're just sitting there with a cigar
snow looks up because you would be making I cast grease followed by sanctuary as
a bonus action. Okay, open them up. What are you doing?
I cast griese on them while they're having sex. They don't have any armor
on, so they're gonna be slipping around with a bunch of but but they
will. Your hell of it goes? What is it? He turns round?
Ah as I see, as I seen, somebody's in the room.
Help me, help me. God, that's a scene. There's somebody here.
Help me. You're being attacked me see see somebody's in the room.
Help me help me. Grace, Grace, whoa, whoa? I forgot
what your hellovitch was like? This is this is no I'll tell you what.
Your doors open up and a man in golden armor stands there right al,
he's good how are you doing? You know, he's got a big
feather on his on his cap and he says lore and the hell of it
turns around. CA said, so it's like, calm a funk this,
madam. Yeah, madam, I assume that you're the one that's in charge
of this situation. So I'm just gonna wait for your boy toy to like
calm down for okay. Right, so this is what's gonna happen. Initiative
is gonna be rolled here, but it is just big Tony vusus castam for
about I'm gonna say, all right, two three rounds before the rest of
Okay, so we've heard all that, Like that was I mean, it's
not a loud noise. So yeah, that dude fell from the ceiling and
the initiative all right, I have to know what big Tony was. I
was, if you must know, I was planning on like, oh,
okay, well they're having sex, I cast grease. So there. Now
they're basically they don't have armor on, they're not ready to fight. They're
all like flippering around on the bed. And I now have sanctuary, so
it's gonna be very hard for them be harm me and I was gonna have
this thing. I'm just like, well, let's see, how are we
going with this? And uh then yeah, I started screaming. Didn't expect
that to happen. Tony, wasn't there when you hell of it started screaming
back. That is like, not know what kind of guy this is?
Yeah, I dumped up three gallons of pig grease. I mean luckily,
Casimir the Protector only gets a nine initiative, so you you get an opportunity
to do something here before Casimir starts running towards you. I'm gonna I'm just
gonna talk to Snow. I'm not even gonna cast or do anything. I'm
just gonna be like Snow. My name's Big Tony of Pittsburgh, ten Ton
Steel. We gotta have a little bit of a chat. I don't give
a fuck who you are. That's gonna make the fun. Well, that's
gonna make your following demise way more simplistic than all right, bring it on,
big boy, Okay, if you can bring on Big Steel Tony.
He pulls out a giant great sword from his back and it almost shows like
sand is whispering around it. Okay, and he's gonna I mean he's gonna
try and hit you with it. Okay, no he has I'm have sanctuary,
dude. He has to make a wisdom saving right, yeah, right,
right, right right right, all right, let's let's let's do this
wisdom say what's the DC sixteen? Cool? Eighteen? Just so he does
that. I mean, he swings the blade down, he sees something like
like saying, don't hurt this one. Don't hurt this big fat tycoon man
he's and then he snaps out of it. The sword comes down, it
hits you, Yes, eighteen. Damage is not that much, but I
do need you to do a strength saving throw. Okay, would you succeed?
Oh my god? Twenty one? So that the blade comes down and
the sand sort of wraps around it, almost pushing you, but you managed
to stand still. He does have a second attack now with sanctuary? Does
does he have to do this for every attack? Any creature who targets the
water creature with an attack or harmful spell must first make a wisdom save.
Doesn't say once per turn? When does it say you lose sanctuary one minute?
No? No, no, besides that, because I know you lose
sanctuary. For example, if you if I if I cast a spell or
deal damage to another creature. Okay, so he does the wisdom save again,
and this time he fails, so you can't hurt capital and stands strong.
Big Tony, it's back to your turn. I want to stay by
the way. I'm wild shipping as soon as we hear the screams. I'm
wild shapping as we're running towards the room. Yeah yeah, yeah, I'm
gonna take the dodge action on my turn. All right, his turn wisdom
saved. He succeeds, but now he's attacking with disadvantage. That does still
hit hard. Still, hun, it's all right, Big Town is going
to low rolls for the attack. I need you to do another strength saving
throw for me though this unfortunately, this time you fail it. So he
manages to strike against your mid section with the big blade and the force of
the sand pushes you back and you collide against the wall and you're going to
take an extra two D six damage. Oh so you take an extra eight
damage, so you're taking that I'm still moving twenty two damage. He does,
and then another wisdom save. Uh wow, that's a that was wisdomss
wisdom. Yeah, but he misses the attack. He misses the attack.
You're now as you're now crumpled against the wall. He comes over and tries
to swing it down, but it just slams into the wall to the side
of you. Now, Big Tony done. I've been whipped and beaten ever
since I was a little kid. You gotta have to try stronger than that.
My pappy hits harder than you. All, Big Tony was abused as
a child, and try to fill that board with money and also abuse.
You know. Okay, so are you uh? What are you doing on
your turn? Just don't jack jaction? All right, this is the last
turn for Cassimir before the rest of the people come into the room. Okay,
so again, wisdom, save sales, Wisdom, save sake. Seede
great Sword of Sands thirteen doesn't again slams into the wall next to you,
the untouchable Big Tony. Yeah, She's like, what are you doing?
I hired you. You are the strongest man in the hall of Celensnia.
What are you doing? Are you on? Sorry? My king? Are
you will kill this one? Big that moment right into his face. At
that moment, the rest of the party burst through the door. Norman Willhelm
Juna, fucking Cody and Button Junior Button burst in to the door. Do
I get one more turn? Back to me? Where depends on what their
intererestive is, because that's the yeah. So seven for u Willhelm, okay,
five, five for Cody, al right, that one's pretty good.
Fifteen for Norman. Uh and then we got Junia and little big Button.
Uh oh did it Rollford? Button? Uh? Oh there we go.
Oh. Button and Button Juna have craziness diff for some reason for why yeah,
so so you you would have your turn after Douna, Button and Norman
Big Tony. So Douna comes in. She looks over to Snow. I
go, that's bits, I'll get her. She just shoots snow. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, fair sixteen the the bullet fires off and that does
make contact with snow. That doesn't kill Snow but gets her low. So
the the bullet flies off and hits Snow in the shoulder. Ah fuck ah.
She screeches out that she's a sort of bleeding on the bed. Button
Junior looks to Norman and looks over at the big Night. Focus on the
Yeah, focus on the big guy, leave the snow and the king to
me. Button runs forwards. He strikes twice with his lightning blade, but
misses both times, hitting against the back of the golden armor. Uh,
Norman, it is now your turn, all right? So what I wanted?
Norman? We have no issue with Yahalovich before, except honestly, it
might be a good time to kill two birds with one stone. Boys,
we don't be Yellovich. And Norman walks in. Yeah, and he looks
at Snow and he just says, you could have had it all, but
you you decide to backstab everyone who's nice to you. Wait, wait,
wait, wait, she's clutching the bloody shoulder. Don't kill me, don't
kill me, don't kill me. Do you care about Finn's life? Silas
is on orders that if I were to die, he has He executes Finn.
We already took care of Silas. And as I say that, I
say, summer is coming. It's time to about the snow. I don't
know if I should this ender, do it? Do it before you make
your rope to be continued. Oh, she's naked, the bed is covered
in Greece. Just fire polishes out