WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:07.839 You're listening to KFI A six on demand. Joe, Welcome to the Jesus 2 00:00:07.919 --> 00:00:12.359 Christ Show. Hello, how can I help you? Well? Got a 3 00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:17.120 life situation? Okay, it does concern God, at least my relationship with 4 00:00:17.199 --> 00:00:23.320 God, because I've for the last two years now, I've had this kind 5 00:00:23.320 --> 00:00:27.280 of lack of interest funk that I'm going through that happened ever since I had 6 00:00:27.800 --> 00:00:31.800 the first insomnia I've ever had in my life. I had it for two 7 00:00:31.800 --> 00:00:35.560 and a half months two years ago. Ever since then, I've just had 8 00:00:35.560 --> 00:00:41.280 this general lack of interest that doesn't seem like my regular personality. And as 9 00:00:41.320 --> 00:00:46.439 far as my God relationship, I've prayed many times. I've I've heard through 10 00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:52.960 my research in the Christianity years ago that nothing's impossible with God, that the 11 00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:58.280 difference between God's power and my power is an immeasurable It's so vast I would 12 00:00:58.280 --> 00:01:00.600 think it would take basically nothing for God to be able to just in a 13 00:01:00.679 --> 00:01:06.120 sense, snap God's fingers staying I mean back to regular and I can't figure 14 00:01:06.120 --> 00:01:11.519 out why that hasn't been done yet. Usually when that hasn't been done, 15 00:01:11.760 --> 00:01:19.599 it's because something is still in progress of being learned. God isn't toying with 16 00:01:19.680 --> 00:01:23.040 you or playing around. It's a matter of a few things, one of 17 00:01:23.079 --> 00:01:30.200 which the human the physical nature of humanity, and the biological machine that you 18 00:01:30.280 --> 00:01:37.079 are is complicated and there's many things to it. So to get a clearer 19 00:01:37.200 --> 00:01:42.120 picture, first, are you saying that you had about with insomnia two years 20 00:01:42.120 --> 00:01:49.519 ago that lasted for two months or are you still wrestling that. I can't 21 00:01:49.040 --> 00:01:53.480 you can usually find it something on the internet about anything. I'm not dealing 22 00:01:53.519 --> 00:01:57.439 with insomnia that got solved with the one or two different drugs from a local 23 00:01:57.560 --> 00:02:02.680 ND. What I'm dealing with is post insomnia, and there is nothing on 24 00:02:02.719 --> 00:02:07.560 the internet I can I type in post insomnia, life after in SOMNYA, 25 00:02:07.599 --> 00:02:12.879 and I can't figure out if what I'm going through is even normal or if 26 00:02:12.919 --> 00:02:15.960 anybody's ever had it in their lives, except I have called a couple of 27 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:19.479 psychiatrists and asked them, have you dealt with insomnia? Have you dealt with 28 00:02:19.520 --> 00:02:22.599 the funk of lack of it just comes after it? And at least a 29 00:02:22.639 --> 00:02:24.759 few of them have said they have, So if they're telling the truth, 30 00:02:24.800 --> 00:02:28.919 then other people have gone through this. So you're saying that you have kind 31 00:02:28.919 --> 00:02:31.800 of a lack of zest for life. Well, people that knew me back 32 00:02:31.840 --> 00:02:36.520 then that know me now say I'm definitely sounding better and using better words, 33 00:02:36.599 --> 00:02:39.240 you know, like I've evolved to being more of whatever I am. But 34 00:02:39.400 --> 00:02:43.919 I know I'm just not the same the person before the day that it all 35 00:02:43.960 --> 00:02:47.400 happened. That person is not what I am right now. Okay, Well 36 00:02:47.400 --> 00:02:52.120 there's a couple of things and again, and I know why it happened. 37 00:02:52.120 --> 00:02:55.280 Basically, you know why the insomnia happened, right What was going Okay, 38 00:02:55.319 --> 00:02:58.759 what was going on? I haven't called a friend that day and said something 39 00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:04.520 feels really weird inside. So I was trying to be a personal trainer for 40 00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:07.719 many years. Clients come, clients go. A life situation came up such 41 00:03:07.759 --> 00:03:12.000 that I had no clients at a point two years ago, and I said, 42 00:03:12.039 --> 00:03:15.400 I have to run an AD to get some And I figured I'd have 43 00:03:15.439 --> 00:03:16.879 an AD for about four months, because you want it out there so people 44 00:03:16.919 --> 00:03:21.800 can see it coming away from the place where I ran the AD. I 45 00:03:21.879 --> 00:03:24.639 only ended up with a month and a half for however, our meeting went 46 00:03:24.680 --> 00:03:30.759 there what they advised me to do for the best clients whatever. So after 47 00:03:30.759 --> 00:03:32.319 a month and a half. So I was riding my bicycle home thinking, 48 00:03:32.400 --> 00:03:35.639 what if nobody sees the AD in a month and a half, because I 49 00:03:35.639 --> 00:03:38.039 thought I was going to have four months. What am I going to do 50 00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:39.960 then? Is it a whole career change? I mean, it'll be gone. 51 00:03:40.919 --> 00:03:44.319 And that's when I got home and called a friend and said, something 52 00:03:44.319 --> 00:03:49.039 feels really weird inside of me. And that's the night insomnia started. And 53 00:03:49.280 --> 00:03:53.199 I had had concerns over money over the last twenty years, so thinking about 54 00:03:53.280 --> 00:03:55.639 money problems and trying to how to solve them wasn't new to me. But 55 00:03:55.919 --> 00:04:00.680 that night, unless I took the drugs I eventually got the doctor, I 56 00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:02.479 could never get any sleep at all. I'd get right to the edge of 57 00:04:02.599 --> 00:04:06.800 falling asleep and there would be like this wall there and I just couldn't sleep. 58 00:04:09.120 --> 00:04:11.719 But now so then I got a client a few days later off the 59 00:04:11.759 --> 00:04:15.000 AD so great and that gave me most of the money I needed. But 60 00:04:15.039 --> 00:04:16.879 I couldn't get rid of it Insombia, and I was thinking, you got 61 00:04:16.879 --> 00:04:18.680 to get rid of it. Now, you have to look healthy. This 62 00:04:18.759 --> 00:04:21.759 is the person you're training. And I at times, about a month later, 63 00:04:21.839 --> 00:04:25.720 still with the insomnia, had to hold on to the gym, the 64 00:04:25.759 --> 00:04:29.279 home gym. This person had even to keep standing up to be able to 65 00:04:29.279 --> 00:04:31.279 train them, which is kind of a jokin and of itself, because here 66 00:04:31.319 --> 00:04:36.199 I was deteriorating as I was supposed to teach health. Well, although this 67 00:04:36.720 --> 00:04:42.439 is certainly not a show that deals with medicine, it's not the focus. 68 00:04:42.439 --> 00:04:45.399 I'm not a doctor, right. I looked at the morality of things, 69 00:04:45.560 --> 00:04:48.560 and we use scripture to take a look at the world and to see it 70 00:04:48.879 --> 00:04:54.120 through that lens. Now, but in your circumstance, well, that was 71 00:04:54.160 --> 00:04:56.600 my thing. Is the question with the whole God. I know it's not 72 00:04:56.680 --> 00:05:01.040 about medicine, but it's just like it's patience I've had to try to have 73 00:05:01.240 --> 00:05:06.360 over this time, to just in a sense of wait for this to get 74 00:05:06.439 --> 00:05:12.639 gone. Were you patient before? I would say, I would considered to 75 00:05:12.639 --> 00:05:15.519 be very intelligent, and I guess not about intelligence. Were you patient before? 76 00:05:17.199 --> 00:05:21.680 Because some of the markers that you've given me our point to anxiety? 77 00:05:24.160 --> 00:05:29.160 The marker about the four months now to one and a half months, there's 78 00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:32.839 certain things that you've said that point to anxiety. Would you have considered yourself 79 00:05:32.839 --> 00:05:39.120 a patience person or have people pointed out that you're not always patient. I'm 80 00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:44.399 very quick to think, quick to talk, and people would say anywhere, 81 00:05:44.560 --> 00:05:47.279 some would say he's patient. The other ones would say he needs things done 82 00:05:47.399 --> 00:05:50.879 now. And so that'd be a hard question to answer. Okay, in 83 00:05:51.399 --> 00:05:56.079 the God's scheme of things, there's a couple of things going on. You've 84 00:05:56.160 --> 00:05:59.720 changed the chemistry of your body in a couple of ways that possibly, I 85 00:05:59.759 --> 00:06:01.199 mean, very much, I would think that happened. Absolutely, Still, 86 00:06:01.240 --> 00:06:04.600 something in my brain is not the same. It changed, but it doesn't 87 00:06:04.600 --> 00:06:10.279 mean that it won't be. It changed. The day you had what sounds 88 00:06:10.319 --> 00:06:15.120 like panic, what sounds like intense anxiety. The day that you did that, 89 00:06:15.279 --> 00:06:17.319 your chemicals change. I mean, it's just the way things work, 90 00:06:17.399 --> 00:06:21.279 so much so that you knew it. You felt it. Something slipped away 91 00:06:21.519 --> 00:06:27.480 and you felt like, hey, the stability the ground beneath me does not 92 00:06:27.639 --> 00:06:31.360 feel solid. And you mentioned that to a friend or family member whoever you 93 00:06:31.399 --> 00:06:36.199 called that day, so you knew that something had changed. Now, the 94 00:06:36.319 --> 00:06:43.560 doctors to balance that out, because it was prolonged, gave you new chemicals 95 00:06:44.600 --> 00:06:48.040 to take away the symptom of that, which is to put you to sleep 96 00:06:48.360 --> 00:06:55.839 essentially and let you relax. And medicine is miraculous in many ways and could 97 00:06:55.839 --> 00:07:00.519 do many things. And doctors depending on who you went to see. Did 98 00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:04.480 you go see a general practitioner or your general doctor? And they prescribed the 99 00:07:04.519 --> 00:07:09.920 sleep medicine. It's general. They give you an anty depressant because I think 100 00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:15.720 depression insomnia related to each other, and so I gave you that, and 101 00:07:15.759 --> 00:07:19.879 then something very strong called tamazepam that suppose that you can't stay on very long. 102 00:07:20.439 --> 00:07:24.759 It's supposed to knock you out for eight hours, and it did nothing 103 00:07:24.800 --> 00:07:27.000 the first night. I could eventually get two hours out of it. So 104 00:07:27.040 --> 00:07:29.000 when I went back after a week and a half, he goes, well, 105 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:30.720 take one and after two hours later you wake up, take another one. 106 00:07:31.360 --> 00:07:34.600 So I considered myself possibly on a high dose of it because I was 107 00:07:34.639 --> 00:07:39.519 back to backing it. But I finally got to sleep at least four to 108 00:07:39.639 --> 00:07:42.360 five hours a night, so I felt a little secure in my pattern. 109 00:07:42.439 --> 00:07:44.279 And then after a month and a half, he says, we got to 110 00:07:44.279 --> 00:07:47.120 get you off of this. It's dangerous, and he used something else to 111 00:07:47.360 --> 00:07:50.480 get me off of that, and eventually that thing worked, and then I 112 00:07:50.519 --> 00:07:54.759 got off of hit and the whole thing was over. I was hoping, 113 00:07:55.319 --> 00:08:00.519 but then this lack of interest thing has been hanging out for the last two 114 00:08:00.600 --> 00:08:05.839 years. Okay, so there again, I'm thinking maybe even the stuff I 115 00:08:05.079 --> 00:08:09.199 used to get off of it zap my head a little bit and it takes 116 00:08:09.199 --> 00:08:13.040 a while for it to come back. Indeed, you said that you have 117 00:08:13.240 --> 00:08:16.920 or have not visited a psychiatrist. That's the final thing. My mother and 118 00:08:16.959 --> 00:08:22.040 I are very tired of this process. And I'm now I've called so many 119 00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:24.959 of them. Someone want to give on the phone. They are four or 120 00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:31.000 five six hundred for the first hour and a half assessment and then three hundred 121 00:08:31.079 --> 00:08:33.519 hour after that. So it's pretty pricey, but if they could guarantee it, 122 00:08:33.519 --> 00:08:35.879 it'd be worth it. Well, there's no guarantees, but I will 123 00:08:35.879 --> 00:08:41.679 tell you this from what you've said, and it's very reasonable to say that 124 00:08:41.759 --> 00:08:46.120 you have altered things. And let's look at it from your strength. Right, 125 00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:50.720 as a trainer, there are people that have done horrible things to their 126 00:08:50.720 --> 00:08:56.519 body, the foods they eat, the lack of exercise, and your job 127 00:08:56.679 --> 00:09:01.840 is to reverse that and get them into new goods and patterns, right, 128 00:09:01.879 --> 00:09:05.799 not to give them a diet pill, not to just say okay, here's 129 00:09:05.799 --> 00:09:09.720 a quick fix. It's a lifestyle change in a process and an easy to 130 00:09:09.799 --> 00:09:11.759 understand one. And if I had an ankle injury or I file as OBE, 131 00:09:11.919 --> 00:09:16.639 so this is that I do rehabs, I would be able to work 132 00:09:16.679 --> 00:09:20.519 on something. This thing, it's like it's my brain and you're out of 133 00:09:20.639 --> 00:09:24.120 Yeah, you're out of your strength. How I can work? I stare 134 00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:26.879 at my brain from the lives clothes, thinking, if you're so bright, 135 00:09:26.919 --> 00:09:30.240 if you're so intelligent, how do you not figure out how to balance out 136 00:09:30.279 --> 00:09:35.120 your own chemicals? You know? Well? Sometimes though, and this is 137 00:09:35.159 --> 00:09:41.679 not to downplay general practitioner doctors. They're wonderful and they do amazing things, 138 00:09:41.960 --> 00:09:46.120 but sometimes if you're dealing with they're just dealing with those symptoms. So I 139 00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:50.080 think that's rather than I said. A psychiatrist has to know more about brain 140 00:09:50.159 --> 00:09:54.399 chemicals and a local MD. And that's basically my little hope and dream that 141 00:09:54.639 --> 00:09:58.120 once I would actually be there talking with one, hopefully they'd go, oh, 142 00:09:58.240 --> 00:10:03.960 no, I've seen that many times. Try this and it may or 143 00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:05.840 may not be that quick, to be honest with you, Joe, but 144 00:10:05.879 --> 00:10:09.759 I will tell you this that the little time that we spent together I would 145 00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:15.639 say that it is a wonderful choice to find out and see if the psychiatrist 146 00:10:15.720 --> 00:10:18.919 has different insight and maybe can wean you off of some of these things that 147 00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:22.440 sound like they've leveled you out, that you have no highs and no lows. 148 00:10:22.519 --> 00:10:24.960 You kind of are in the middle, just your tonality. On the 149 00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:28.919 air, we speak to a lot of people. However, I will say, 150 00:10:28.919 --> 00:10:31.879 on the God side of things, the spiritual side of things, you 151 00:10:31.919 --> 00:10:35.519 do have an issue with patience. I can hear it in your voice. 152 00:10:37.200 --> 00:10:39.799 I can hear it in your voice, and I can hear it even pushing 153 00:10:39.879 --> 00:10:45.320 through the medication. And I understand that it's been a long time that you've 154 00:10:45.360 --> 00:10:48.720 been wrestling with this and that that's going to be a natural part of that. 155 00:10:48.279 --> 00:10:52.960 But I can hear that. So I offer you this that whenever God 156 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:54.960 allows you to go through a trial and you're going through it and there's something 157 00:10:56.000 --> 00:11:01.000 about it that just doesn't seem right, you're not hearing or you're not you're 158 00:11:01.039 --> 00:11:03.559 not grasping that one thing that He's trying to get to you. And I 159 00:11:03.559 --> 00:11:07.360 think patience is going to be a very powerful part of that. So I 160 00:11:07.399 --> 00:11:11.399 want you to kind of meditate to think on that. I'd love for you 161 00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:15.279 to open up scripture and maybe even if it's just going through Proverbs and just 162 00:11:15.399 --> 00:11:20.279 reading little bits and pieces, to start under prayer and see what God has 163 00:11:20.320 --> 00:11:22.679 to say. Really be there, not just hey, God, help me 164 00:11:22.720 --> 00:11:24.320 get me out of this. Just what do you want me to see? 165 00:11:24.679 --> 00:11:28.799 What am I missing? And I think that that will have, along with 166 00:11:28.879 --> 00:11:33.840 these other decisions, will have a powerful, powerful change in your life. 167 00:11:37.639 --> 00:11:43.559 You know, it's interesting. There's so many things that have great importance in 168 00:11:43.600 --> 00:11:48.000 life, and people kind of push them aside and get focused on the things 169 00:11:48.039 --> 00:11:52.159 that are right in front of them only. But there's a great vast importance 170 00:11:52.200 --> 00:11:58.600 that God has for you. And I know it's not in vogue to have 171 00:11:58.679 --> 00:12:05.039 faith really, at least not in faith in God. People have put them 172 00:12:05.120 --> 00:12:11.279 their faith into all kinds of other things, sadly, and not something that 173 00:12:11.960 --> 00:12:16.840 the Bible is ignorant of. But people are starting to put their faith into 174 00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:20.960 themselves. And I know, on the surface, you hear that and you 175 00:12:20.960 --> 00:12:26.399 think, well, that's good. That means people have self confidence and self 176 00:12:26.519 --> 00:12:31.480 esteem. It's not about that. It's that if you're only reliant on yourself 177 00:12:33.879 --> 00:12:37.320 for the things of God, for the spiritual things. Then you are your 178 00:12:37.360 --> 00:12:41.799 own God. And I assure you, if you are your own God, 179 00:12:41.840 --> 00:12:46.559 then you're going to let yourself down. Now. On the flip side of 180 00:12:46.559 --> 00:12:52.440 that, there are those that have faith that look towards God during times of 181 00:12:52.519 --> 00:12:58.159 pain, times of frustration, trials and the like and say, why God 182 00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:01.879 are you taking me through this? Well, the Bible's very clear you will 183 00:13:01.879 --> 00:13:09.120 go through trials, you will experience tough times. Faith Christianity doesn't remove those 184 00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:15.120 tough times from your life. It helps you get through them and hopefully learn 185 00:13:15.200 --> 00:13:26.519 something through them. When you are continually going through the process of a trial 186 00:13:26.679 --> 00:13:31.440 and it seems like it's going on and going on forever, it is very 187 00:13:31.480 --> 00:13:37.279 easy to say God, why me. But usually when people are saying that, 188 00:13:37.000 --> 00:13:43.840 the expectation is to jar God and have God go oh my gosh, 189 00:13:43.919 --> 00:13:46.840 yeah, I didn't mean for you to go through this, I apologize and 190 00:13:46.960 --> 00:13:54.320 clear it away rather than saying God, why me? What do you have 191 00:13:54.519 --> 00:13:56.840 planned? Why do you need me to learn? What do you want me 192 00:13:56.879 --> 00:14:01.679 to see? What do you want me to know that I don't now? 193 00:14:03.320 --> 00:14:09.399 And coming from the trial from that mindset will set you up to receive and 194 00:14:09.440 --> 00:14:18.679 to understand better than just kicking the can and being frustrated. But I assure 195 00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:22.759 you, if you're in that trial, there is something something to be learned 196 00:14:26.480 --> 00:14:31.639 ed. Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Thank you for taking my prayer. 197 00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:37.000 I call. I'm almost embarrassed ask this question. Oh, don't be. 198 00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:41.600 It's regarding the Lord's prayer, which is so beautiful. I don't know 199 00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:46.720 why I didn't ask this question earlier. The meaning of that I will be 200 00:14:46.799 --> 00:14:50.559 done on earth as it isn't have an I if you would explain the meaning 201 00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:58.399 of that. Sure. The prayer is often quoted and not always understood in 202 00:14:58.440 --> 00:15:01.559 its fullness. So I'm glad that you call. There's there's so much to 203 00:15:01.639 --> 00:15:03.519 it, and it's quite beautiful as you go through. Let's say, go 204 00:15:03.600 --> 00:15:09.519 through it in Matthew. When you go through the prayer and you listen to 205 00:15:09.559 --> 00:15:13.559 the specifics of it, our Father, who are in heaven, hello'd be 206 00:15:13.559 --> 00:15:18.919 thy name, thy kingdom Come, They will be done on earth as it 207 00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:24.480 is in heaven. That really the parts of the prayer are important because if 208 00:15:24.519 --> 00:15:28.919 you read it, I say prayer, pray like this, I'm not saying, 209 00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:33.559 just recite this prayer and it's not that it's bad to recite the prayer, 210 00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:35.879 but I'm saying pray like this, and the language there is very important 211 00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:41.559 because really I'm giving a template for prayer, explaining the different the different things 212 00:15:41.559 --> 00:15:50.799 that go into a prayer that make it important and beneficial. So in this 213 00:15:50.919 --> 00:15:54.720 case you have the beginning, it says, pray, then this way, 214 00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:56.799 our Father, where art in heaven. That's acknowledging who God is and where 215 00:15:56.840 --> 00:16:00.440 God is, that he's on his throne, and that he's above all things. 216 00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:03.159 Hallowed be thy name, that God is holy. Thy Kingdom Come, 217 00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:07.480 Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Thy Kingdom Come 218 00:16:07.639 --> 00:16:12.799 is validating the promise of God that God will bring heaven, that God will 219 00:16:14.919 --> 00:16:19.279 usher in those that believe into heaven. So Thy Kingdom Come is acknowledging that 220 00:16:19.399 --> 00:16:23.320 promise with the Covenant of God, and that He will fulfill that promise. 221 00:16:23.919 --> 00:16:27.480 Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. This is acknowledging 222 00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:32.240 the fact that God's will being done is at the center of all of this, 223 00:16:32.799 --> 00:16:37.720 and that in heaven it's already done because the angels that rebelled are gone. 224 00:16:37.000 --> 00:16:42.720 So everyone in heaven is applying the will of God. So you're asking 225 00:16:42.759 --> 00:16:48.080 that that that has taken place in heaven will take place on earth. Please 226 00:16:48.440 --> 00:16:53.159 allow people to see your will to apply your will into their lives. So 227 00:16:53.320 --> 00:16:56.279 that is part of the petition. The prayer there give us this day our 228 00:16:56.360 --> 00:17:02.600 daily bread is talking about sustenance and having that balance in life and taking in 229 00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:04.839 what you need, not what you want. Forgive us our debts, as 230 00:17:04.880 --> 00:17:10.440 we also forgive our debtors. You know, allow please forgive us for the 231 00:17:10.480 --> 00:17:15.680 things we do, but allow us the grace to forgive others. Lead us 232 00:17:15.680 --> 00:17:18.599 not to temptation. Another verse that confuses people, but deliver us from evil. 233 00:17:21.920 --> 00:17:25.359 This is not God leading you into temptation and you saying, hey, 234 00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:29.480 please don't do that. Stop leading me to temptation. The proper wording is 235 00:17:29.640 --> 00:17:34.640 lead us away from temptation and deliver us from evil. So and then it 236 00:17:34.680 --> 00:17:37.759 goes on as some people will add, for Thine is the Kingdom, the 237 00:17:37.759 --> 00:17:42.079 power, and the glory forever. I mean. But that's very powerful when 238 00:17:42.119 --> 00:17:45.680 you go through that and you see that those different parts are about the different 239 00:17:45.720 --> 00:17:51.440 parts of prayer that you should have in your prayers every day. That will 240 00:17:51.440 --> 00:17:55.079 help you to connect with God. So excellent question. I appreciate that. 241 00:17:55.240 --> 00:18:03.960 Ed James. Welcome to the Jesus Christian. Yes, I'm calling regarding some 242 00:18:04.079 --> 00:18:08.759 problems that I have. I'm a born again Christian and thought I could take 243 00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:14.960 on an industry that I just had no business taking taking on, and I 244 00:18:15.039 --> 00:18:19.440 need to see if I can get back into the God's flock, trying to 245 00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:25.680 try not to be so shameful what I've done in the industry. This particular 246 00:18:25.720 --> 00:18:30.240 industry was pornography, okay, And was there a pattern that you saw? 247 00:18:30.519 --> 00:18:36.119 Were you just curious at first? And then yeah, I was curious at 248 00:18:36.200 --> 00:18:40.640 first, kind of grew up in the area that it seemed like it was 249 00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:45.079 not a bad thing to do. And then I became saved and I wanted 250 00:18:45.119 --> 00:18:51.599 to I wanted to get rid of it because I felt then after being saved 251 00:18:51.640 --> 00:18:55.039 that it was wrong. And maybe there's a lot of people that had fell 252 00:18:55.119 --> 00:18:59.359 into that and maybe that's why they didn't want to turn to God. I'm 253 00:18:59.400 --> 00:19:02.960 not for sure, but I thought I can take it on, and I 254 00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:06.519 did. When I did go through the motions of trying to see how I 255 00:19:06.599 --> 00:19:11.279 can do that with petitions, moratoriums and things of that nature, and then 256 00:19:11.319 --> 00:19:15.160 I just kind of fell back into it. I confess that, and then 257 00:19:15.240 --> 00:19:21.680 the reason that I kind of fail back is the shame. But also you're 258 00:19:21.799 --> 00:19:27.400 you're also just labeled so much and it's just kind of hard. How so 259 00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:32.240 you mean by people that find out or by people in the church, right, 260 00:19:32.519 --> 00:19:37.079 exactly exactly more people in the church are struggling with it than you may 261 00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:42.279 think. So that kind of judgment usually comes with the concept of people trying 262 00:19:42.359 --> 00:19:45.640 to make themselves better than you. So I wouldn't worry about that. Just 263 00:19:45.720 --> 00:19:49.359 now worry about yourself and your connection with God. That's okay, that's key. 264 00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:55.319 And as far as the battle within, is this something you do multiple 265 00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:59.720 times a day, Oh, I'm, I'm it's more under the control now. 266 00:20:00.200 --> 00:20:03.200 Just I just struggled with just going back to church. That's that's more 267 00:20:03.279 --> 00:20:08.400 or less it. And and we and and not wanting to be dishonest about 268 00:20:08.480 --> 00:20:12.759 the real the relevation of that, but to be honest about it and how 269 00:20:12.839 --> 00:20:18.920 I go about or should I even go about being a revealing that because when 270 00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:22.759 you do, then that's the thing of pointing starts. Well, if it's 271 00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:30.279 something that you are in control of through prayer and through changing lifestyle, things 272 00:20:30.599 --> 00:20:34.359 doing. There's many things that can be done. What you can put adult 273 00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:40.279 I know it seems silly, but you can put restrictions. Yeah, do 274 00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:42.920 things like that just to remind you, to give you more hurdles to jump 275 00:20:44.039 --> 00:20:48.599 over. And like I said, I've been doing that and I'm controlling it. 276 00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:51.519 Sure hits. I'm sorry, no, and I just don't want you 277 00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:56.599 to get The enemy is very good at taking humanity and the things that come 278 00:20:56.680 --> 00:21:00.880 with humanity, the sin nature of man and these types of things, and 279 00:21:00.240 --> 00:21:04.039 really trying to put so much shame on top of it that you won't show 280 00:21:04.119 --> 00:21:07.119 your face in a church, or you won't show your face around the people 281 00:21:07.160 --> 00:21:14.920 of God. So that the thing that is human and frustrating and part of 282 00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:19.839 your walk and really part of you getting closer with God by removing things like 283 00:21:19.920 --> 00:21:25.720 pornography from your life. But the enemy, even in that victory, wants 284 00:21:25.759 --> 00:21:30.319 you to feel shame. And you can't let the enemy get that foothold in 285 00:21:30.400 --> 00:21:34.559 your life because the pornography is bad enough, because that's something that gets a 286 00:21:34.599 --> 00:21:40.279 foothold that makes you feel bad about yourself. It's a very limited pleasure time. 287 00:21:40.759 --> 00:21:44.839 All of these things is what builds the addiction there. But now when 288 00:21:44.880 --> 00:21:48.480 you are working or pushing it out of your life, the enemy loves to 289 00:21:48.599 --> 00:21:52.359 go. You're filthy. You should feel nothing but shame. God doesn't even 290 00:21:52.359 --> 00:21:56.359 want you in his house. The people of God, they don't love you, 291 00:21:56.720 --> 00:22:00.640 they don't care about you. They don't want you there because that still 292 00:22:00.720 --> 00:22:04.839 serves his purpose. His entire purpose is to keep you from God. And 293 00:22:06.400 --> 00:22:10.039 that is worse than any pornography you can look at. That is the true 294 00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:15.440 vulgarity in life and the spiritual life, is the enemy lying in your ear 295 00:22:15.599 --> 00:22:18.559 day in and day out that you're not worthy of God, when God himself 296 00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:22.160 said you are so worthy that I will send my son to die on the 297 00:22:22.200 --> 00:22:26.559 cross and resurrect three days later so that you shall be saved. And to 298 00:22:27.400 --> 00:22:32.160 allow the devil to speak to you like that is to reject that very gift 299 00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:34.920 of grace. And you need to push through it, and you really need 300 00:22:36.279 --> 00:22:40.359 it. Doesn't mean you need to wear a scarlet letter on your jacket or 301 00:22:40.440 --> 00:22:42.799 shirt you need to tell everybody every time you walk into a church, it's 302 00:22:42.839 --> 00:22:48.599 not about that. And don't feel that. I know I appreciate the fact 303 00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:52.720 that you want to be honest but even at church, you don't meet everybody 304 00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:55.799 and shake hands and go I'm an alcoholic. Oh well, I love pornography. 305 00:22:56.079 --> 00:22:59.160 Oh I cheated on my wife. I can't have a relationship. Now, 306 00:22:59.200 --> 00:23:03.000 that's not how you greet everybody. Because humans are humans, and even 307 00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:07.799 believers wrestle with those things and are fearful of them and will judge you differently 308 00:23:08.880 --> 00:23:12.160 until they get to know you. So if it as you get to know 309 00:23:12.359 --> 00:23:18.000 somebody or your pastor or these types of things, and if it comes up 310 00:23:18.039 --> 00:23:21.960 and it's appropriate, absolutely, It's not that you're trying to hide it or 311 00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:26.400 stuff it down. It's just not a good thing to lead with. And 312 00:23:26.519 --> 00:23:29.519 that's what I did. I lead with it. Yeah, it's a tough 313 00:23:29.559 --> 00:23:34.440 one, brother, because they they there's an automatic belief to that, and 314 00:23:34.640 --> 00:23:40.200 even though it could be somebody who themselves are struggling with it, they'll still 315 00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:44.480 want to judge you. I revealed it under the guise of that it would 316 00:23:44.519 --> 00:23:48.079 be a coup, that I did it confidentially, and that I tell you, 317 00:23:48.200 --> 00:23:52.559 that's what a portrayal that was. Well, humans are humans, and 318 00:23:53.319 --> 00:23:59.799 there you will It is a betrayal. Absolutely, This was someone in leadership. 319 00:24:00.359 --> 00:24:04.200 Yes, yeah, that's that's gross, but it is, but that's 320 00:24:04.279 --> 00:24:07.480 going to happen. And I learned, and like I said, you know, 321 00:24:07.559 --> 00:24:12.240 I had such a strong relationship and I know I can rebuild that and 322 00:24:12.400 --> 00:24:17.559 I know that what my gift is, I'm an encourager and I can encourage 323 00:24:17.640 --> 00:24:22.039 people. I really love encouraging people, and I love your show. I 324 00:24:22.200 --> 00:24:26.400 just took me a little while to get to you. And I appreciate your 325 00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:30.519 answers and they are rot on the nose, So thank you so much. 326 00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:34.640 In anybody else that's listening that had that problem, Jesus loves you, man, 327 00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:37.519 and you can go to him, and I appreciate your help. Brother. 328 00:24:37.839 --> 00:24:41.079 You know what happens quite a bit, James, and I want you 329 00:24:41.160 --> 00:24:44.960 to really think about this, is that people that have the gift of certain 330 00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:49.480 things, like you say, encouragement, almost never ever impart that gift onto 331 00:24:49.559 --> 00:24:53.680 themselves. And you have to allow yourself to hear those very same words that 332 00:24:53.799 --> 00:24:59.440 you've given others time and time again, those words of encouragement and kindness, 333 00:25:00.039 --> 00:25:03.640 acceptance, and you need to allow yourself to have them as well. Guard 334 00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:08.279 yourself until you feel safe. Not every church, sadly, is safe, 335 00:25:08.480 --> 00:25:12.200 not every person in a church is safe, even though there will be those 336 00:25:12.319 --> 00:25:18.720 that are so guard yourself as you're opening up and you're learning about a church. 337 00:25:18.839 --> 00:25:22.319 I'm sorry that you'd open up to somebody and you'd say, Hey, 338 00:25:22.440 --> 00:25:26.559 this is what I'm wrestling with and they did not keep that in confidence or 339 00:25:26.599 --> 00:25:30.079 they treated you different because of it. That really is a horrible sin, 340 00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:37.839 unto itself. But understand that you are coming out from underneath being a slave 341 00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:42.640 to this. Two Peter two nineteen says that for whatever overcomes a person to 342 00:25:42.839 --> 00:25:45.759 that, he is enslaved. And if there's something that overcomes you, and 343 00:25:45.880 --> 00:25:52.599 in this case it's pornography and that sensation of orgasm, whatever it is building 344 00:25:52.640 --> 00:25:56.920 those things up, or the release that comes with it, those types of 345 00:25:56.000 --> 00:26:00.640 things can be very powerful, and I want you to work through them, 346 00:26:00.680 --> 00:26:03.680 obviously as you're doing. But I don't want you to feel the shame of 347 00:26:03.720 --> 00:26:07.559 the enemy that whispers in your ear, because all that does is trying to 348 00:26:07.680 --> 00:26:11.839 keep you from God, and you're not going to fall for that. And 349 00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:19.799 I don't want you to fall for that. The enemy hates you, and 350 00:26:19.880 --> 00:26:26.119 the enemy hates me, and the enemy wants nothing more than to keep us 351 00:26:26.119 --> 00:26:30.039 away from each other because in that bond, in that relationship, there is 352 00:26:30.119 --> 00:26:38.200 strength, strength to truly overcome, strength to guard yourself against the ways of 353 00:26:38.279 --> 00:26:45.920 the enemy, which are ultimately death, not physical death necessarily, but spiritual 354 00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:52.640 death. And the enemy has a way of finding those soft spots in your 355 00:26:52.680 --> 00:26:59.960 life, poking at you day in and day out, seeing how you respond. 356 00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:04.960 And when the enemy finds what you respond to, then he pounces. 357 00:27:07.799 --> 00:27:14.200 And when the enemy sees something in your life, whether it be pornography or 358 00:27:14.279 --> 00:27:18.319 whatever it might be, that is ruling it something that you're struggling with, 359 00:27:18.839 --> 00:27:26.960 knowing that you care enough to confess it and to strengthen yourself and to remove 360 00:27:26.039 --> 00:27:32.839 it from your life. These addictions that pull you down, that the world, 361 00:27:33.519 --> 00:27:41.359 the very hurdles that the enemy has put in front of you, or 362 00:27:41.400 --> 00:27:44.839 bad enough. But the moment you get strength to push them aside, the 363 00:27:44.920 --> 00:27:48.960 moment you get strength to say, I won't let this put me in bondage 364 00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:52.839 anymore, I won't let this control me. I will not be enslaved. 365 00:27:52.920 --> 00:27:57.240 And you push past them and you start to better yourself. Then the enemy 366 00:27:57.559 --> 00:28:07.519 switches gears and he just slithers up next to you and gets in your ear 367 00:28:08.319 --> 00:28:17.279 and says, Wow, that sure was a pretty big hurdle. You probably 368 00:28:17.319 --> 00:28:22.039 aren't even over it yet, And it doesn't really matter, because even if 369 00:28:22.119 --> 00:28:26.359 you're over it, even if you remove it from your life, you've got 370 00:28:26.440 --> 00:28:32.119 the stink of that, the scars from that, all over your body, 371 00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:41.920 and that's all anyone can see. And that is so putrid to the nostrils 372 00:28:41.000 --> 00:28:45.400 of God. He will turn himself from you because of what you've done. 373 00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:53.599 But the enemy is a liar, and the enemy plays on your insecurities. 374 00:28:53.680 --> 00:29:02.839 The enemy plays on the things that you worry about, that you are constantly 375 00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:08.680 thinking of, because all he needs is just to push it off a little 376 00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:14.400 bit. Each day. The less time you spend with God, the less 377 00:29:14.519 --> 00:29:18.720 time you search for God, the less time you spend praying, talking, 378 00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:25.920 connecting with God, is time that He has you in a place of vulnerability. 379 00:29:26.839 --> 00:29:33.519 He has you in a place where you're softened to Him, even when 380 00:29:33.559 --> 00:29:38.480 it's a place of strength. In one arena, you're getting better, you're 381 00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:47.119 strengthening yourself, you're trying to purify yourself through God. The enemy uses that 382 00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:51.960 transition to make you feel so bad about yourself, to make you feel so 383 00:29:52.200 --> 00:29:56.559 ugly that you'll turn yourself away from God. But he'll make you believe that 384 00:29:56.680 --> 00:30:03.759 it's God turning himself from you, but I assure you it's not. My 385 00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:11.240 arms are always open and I'm facing right at you, wanting nothing more than 386 00:30:11.319 --> 00:30:15.240 you to run right into them. Kf I am six forty on demand