WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:11.759 This is Pod Populi Podcast for the People, The Great Love Debate. It's 2 00:00:11.800 --> 00:00:18.160 the Great Love Debate, the Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Toba. 3 00:00:18.920 --> 00:00:23.519 Hi again everyone, it's Brian Howie. Welcome to the Great Love Debate, 4 00:00:23.559 --> 00:00:27.600 the world's number one dating and relationship podcasts. It's twenty and fifteen. 5 00:00:27.760 --> 00:00:33.719 I am here at the studios of pod Populi Podcast for the People. I 6 00:00:33.840 --> 00:00:38.880 am at the one in Scottsdale, Arizona. I think I mentioned last time 7 00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:46.039 I was here. Scottsdale is the number two location destination for bachelorette parties in 8 00:00:46.079 --> 00:00:51.520 America, behind Nashville. And so if you get disturbed by a bunch of 9 00:00:52.840 --> 00:00:58.799 inebriated women riding by going whoa on a trolley, Hey, that's Scottsdale. 10 00:00:58.960 --> 00:01:03.040 I think we need to break down bachelor and bachelorette parties on this show and 11 00:01:03.120 --> 00:01:07.920 the behavior because I have some thoughts, because I usually have some thoughts. 12 00:01:07.280 --> 00:01:14.560 So let me line up some guests who are well versed in such depravity. 13 00:01:15.319 --> 00:01:23.159 So last episode, as I mentioned, it was our four hundredth show. 14 00:01:23.719 --> 00:01:26.159 Honestly, it's probably like there's probably forty or so more. I think a 15 00:01:26.200 --> 00:01:32.519 couple of dozen of the early ones from our Corolla Digital and our podcast one 16 00:01:32.640 --> 00:01:36.480 days got sort of bossed as you transfer feeds all over the place. That 17 00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:40.719 was the early days of podcasting. Things weren't quite as seamless. But say 18 00:01:40.799 --> 00:01:49.040 Levy, and normally, when you hit a big round number, you reflect 19 00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:53.719 and you opine and look back and maybe you commemorate, And I really didn't 20 00:01:53.719 --> 00:01:57.840 want to do that. Others end to say in the podcast scheme of things, 21 00:01:59.359 --> 00:02:02.239 it's an awful lot of shows. Some of you might say there's too 22 00:02:02.239 --> 00:02:08.159 many enough, and we try to slice this apple a lot of different ways 23 00:02:08.280 --> 00:02:15.080 and keep it fresh and moving forward because a lot of things change along the 24 00:02:15.080 --> 00:02:21.039 way. Society changes. I've certainly changed, a lot of my perspective has 25 00:02:21.159 --> 00:02:23.680 changed. But the reason, the main reason we're able to do this podcast 26 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:31.120 so many times is because doing it so many times, those repetitions bring a 27 00:02:31.240 --> 00:02:39.159 degree of clarity. You're able to formulate thoughts and philosophies and opinions, and 28 00:02:39.199 --> 00:02:46.240 that clarity brings comfort, and that comfort brings confidence and probably to some degree, 29 00:02:46.680 --> 00:02:53.240 competence. We're able to have these conversations on this show because we've had 30 00:02:53.319 --> 00:02:58.280 so many of these conversations, and you know, I'm just as excited and 31 00:02:58.280 --> 00:03:00.560 grateful to have these conversations as I was four hundred or so episodes ago, 32 00:03:00.639 --> 00:03:07.120 maybe more so, because the repetition has deepened the passion, and I'm passionate 33 00:03:07.159 --> 00:03:12.560 about the subject matter and I'm curious about the content. And as if you've 34 00:03:12.639 --> 00:03:17.439 heard me say before, every great conversation is formed at the intersection of passion 35 00:03:17.840 --> 00:03:22.879 and curiosity. So that's what I want to get into, the concept of 36 00:03:23.400 --> 00:03:29.639 repetitions. Been doing this podcast a long time, reasonably competent at it. 37 00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:35.039 But how long did it take me to get that way? I mean, 38 00:03:35.080 --> 00:03:38.199 all I'm doing is talking, right, I don't know, different skill set, 39 00:03:39.159 --> 00:03:43.960 different mindset. I think when I look back, it took me six 40 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:49.360 months, twenty five or thirty episodes just to kind of understand it all. 41 00:03:50.280 --> 00:03:53.120 I'd done a little bit of radio before. Podcasting is different from radio. 42 00:03:53.159 --> 00:03:55.919 It took me a hundred episodes or so just to do one by myself like 43 00:03:55.960 --> 00:04:00.000 I'm doing now, just to sit here and say something and understand that me 44 00:04:00.240 --> 00:04:05.919 talking and you listening is in fact a conversation and hopefully a conversation worth having. 45 00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:14.199 So a lot of you guys are probably familiar or have heard of Malcolm 46 00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:18.240 Gladwell's book Outliers, one of his books. He writes a lot of books. 47 00:04:18.279 --> 00:04:21.399 He's very prolific. Good job, Malcolm Gladwell. But his book Outliers 48 00:04:21.399 --> 00:04:30.120 where he put forth a scientific analysis and this sort of subsequent theory about the 49 00:04:30.360 --> 00:04:36.560 ten thousand hour rule, which broken down simply, it hypothesizes that mastery comes 50 00:04:38.680 --> 00:04:46.319 after someone practices one skill like juggling or archery or the violin for ten thousand 51 00:04:46.319 --> 00:04:54.199 hours. Thinks the time equals proficiency and I both completely agree with this premise 52 00:04:54.800 --> 00:04:58.439 and I completely disagree with this premise. Yes, you put in the time 53 00:04:58.480 --> 00:05:00.959 in the work and you will get the result. But nope, if you 54 00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:04.519 can't paint like I can't, and you can dip your brush for a million 55 00:05:04.600 --> 00:05:09.480 years, you probably won't get any better than at your art. You know, 56 00:05:09.480 --> 00:05:12.000 you go to one of those painting and wine places. I could sit 57 00:05:12.040 --> 00:05:15.519 there every single night for a decade, probably not going to get as good 58 00:05:15.560 --> 00:05:18.800 as the person sitting next to me. So let's put this in the context 59 00:05:18.839 --> 00:05:23.160 of dating and relationships, which was why you are here, either for the 60 00:05:23.199 --> 00:05:29.319 first time or the four hundred and first time. I do believe that repetitions 61 00:05:29.360 --> 00:05:34.680 equal some degree of ability. If you haven't dated a lot, you probably 62 00:05:34.680 --> 00:05:40.240 aren't going to be very good at the nuance and the ebb and flow and 63 00:05:40.360 --> 00:05:47.240 situations that surround being one on one with other people another person. And there's 64 00:05:47.319 --> 00:05:53.879 lots of very successful people who put their careers first, and they are masters 65 00:05:53.920 --> 00:05:59.319 of the universe and have a ton of trouble dating because they simply have devoted 66 00:06:00.519 --> 00:06:02.959 a lot of time to their career and not a lot of job, a 67 00:06:03.000 --> 00:06:10.199 lot of time to their dating life, which is why we've always said caveat 68 00:06:10.199 --> 00:06:13.399 emptor when you're trying to get hooked up through a matchmaker. If these so 69 00:06:13.480 --> 00:06:18.399 called successful men and sometimes women are hiring somebody to help them find love because 70 00:06:18.439 --> 00:06:23.720 they've been too focused on their big time job to spend their weekends you scrolling 71 00:06:23.720 --> 00:06:27.720 through Tinder or hitting the nightclubs, those guys and gals simply might not have 72 00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:31.160 the skill set to ever get through an awkward first dinner, much less the 73 00:06:31.199 --> 00:06:36.839 challenges of a relationship. Just haven't done it enough times. Same with recently 74 00:06:36.879 --> 00:06:43.519 divorced people. They might have had a lot of repetitions of being with one 75 00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:48.160 partner, but that was only one partner for a long time. Clearly didn't 76 00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:53.120 work, and that's what they're used to. They haven't tried all of the 77 00:06:54.720 --> 00:06:59.079 Basket and Robin's thirty one flavors, if you know what I mean. Sidebar 78 00:06:59.160 --> 00:07:01.439 fun fact, do you know why Baskin and Robbins has thirty one flavors? 79 00:07:01.800 --> 00:07:04.839 Thirty one flavors when they started that back in the day, like seventy years 80 00:07:04.839 --> 00:07:11.160 ago, each one represented a different ice cream flavor of the month. So 81 00:07:11.199 --> 00:07:13.519 every day of the month, you're supposed to have a flavor, thirty one 82 00:07:13.600 --> 00:07:17.959 days, thirty one flavors, and they have uniquely and sort of stubbornly stuck 83 00:07:18.040 --> 00:07:24.160 to that in a world of very varied and very specific taste. So props 84 00:07:24.199 --> 00:07:28.439 to Baskin and Robbins, and props to you guys for sticking with me for 85 00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:31.600 all these episodes. That takes reps. We're gonna have a whole bunch more 86 00:07:31.639 --> 00:07:35.839 on this subject, maybe even try some ice cream. Well, we have 87 00:07:35.879 --> 00:07:39.360 to pay for the ice cream around here, so I'm gonna take a quick 88 00:07:39.399 --> 00:07:47.639 break. We're gonna dive deeply into all of it right after this, and 89 00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:54.439 we are back and we're talking about the concept of and the value in repetitions 90 00:07:54.480 --> 00:07:58.759 when it comes to dating. And I've had people say to me, you've 91 00:07:58.759 --> 00:08:01.560 had so many girlfriends, why would you be someone who would be good at 92 00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:05.839 a relationship? And my answer is, because I've had so many girlfriends. 93 00:08:07.120 --> 00:08:16.279 That's a good thing. The repetition. It brings some level of proficiency. 94 00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:18.959 I mean, it absolutely does. I've learned from my mistakes, most of 95 00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:26.639 them. I have seen their mistakes and understand most of them. I've ridden 96 00:08:26.720 --> 00:08:31.480 the relationship highs and the lows, and the waves and the moods. And 97 00:08:31.560 --> 00:08:35.399 it has value because I'm not mad or bitter or jaded by any of it. 98 00:08:35.679 --> 00:08:37.519 I'm seasoned by it. I did it and did it again, and 99 00:08:37.559 --> 00:08:41.519 did it again, and you keep going and you should be too. You 100 00:08:41.519 --> 00:08:45.320 should be doing something like that too. You've got to stop looking at Oh 101 00:08:45.360 --> 00:08:48.600 I've had two hundred dates and none of them worked out. That's a good 102 00:08:48.639 --> 00:08:52.679 thing. Those two hundred dates are going to increase the odds of the next 103 00:08:52.720 --> 00:08:54.879 one working out, as long as you aren't getting bogged down in the past. 104 00:08:54.919 --> 00:09:01.919 And the fact that those two hundred dates are negative, they're positive. 105 00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:09.159 You did it two hundred times. So every every breakup, every conversation, 106 00:09:09.919 --> 00:09:16.120 every plate of Muzzo realistics that you shared, every miscommunication. At some point 107 00:09:16.159 --> 00:09:20.440 those reps add up and give you some degree of expertise that you at least 108 00:09:20.480 --> 00:09:26.240 know what to expect and how to handle a certain situation or a new scenario. 109 00:09:28.120 --> 00:09:31.559 But obviously it's it's not just a matter of going on dates or spending 110 00:09:31.559 --> 00:09:35.399 time with someone that will make all the difference. Just like simply sitting there 111 00:09:35.519 --> 00:09:39.919 and plucking guitar strings ten thousand times will turn you into slash, it probably 112 00:09:39.960 --> 00:09:45.480 won't. You have to understand what you're doing or what you have done, 113 00:09:46.200 --> 00:09:52.399 why you're doing it, what you want to get out of it, what 114 00:09:52.679 --> 00:09:58.480 works, what doesn't, It sounds right, what feels right, what is 115 00:09:58.600 --> 00:10:05.279 right and what isn't. Simply sitting in a classroom won't make you smarter. 116 00:10:05.440 --> 00:10:13.120 You have to absorb and engage and put forth some effort and understand what you're 117 00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:20.360 listening to and learning. So what takes reps when it comes to dating, 118 00:10:20.600 --> 00:10:26.360 Well, let's start with the dates themselves. Some people have really never had 119 00:10:26.399 --> 00:10:31.080 that many first dates. You know who one of those people is, Brian 120 00:10:31.159 --> 00:10:37.120 Christopher Howe Me I'm one of those people. I've had way, way more 121 00:10:37.480 --> 00:10:41.320 girlfriends than I have had first dates, And you're like, how is that 122 00:10:41.559 --> 00:10:48.879 possible? How's your numerator higher than your denominator? Because I think most of 123 00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:52.639 the people I have dated I knew in some other capacity first, and then 124 00:10:52.679 --> 00:10:56.360 before you knew it, we were hanging out, and then we would get 125 00:10:56.360 --> 00:10:58.399 food or you want to get a drink, and then evolve from there, 126 00:10:58.399 --> 00:11:03.759 and here we are almost none of the traditional hey can I get your phone 127 00:11:03.840 --> 00:11:07.519 number? Or hey can I take you to dinner sometime? It was very 128 00:11:07.679 --> 00:11:13.000 very rare, at least for me. Never had a job interview interview a 129 00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:16.480 job interview either, so I'm not the person ask about these things. That 130 00:11:16.600 --> 00:11:22.799 being said, don't be me. Have first dates, lots and lots of 131 00:11:22.840 --> 00:11:28.039 them. It's easier to go out with somebody when you worked with them for 132 00:11:28.200 --> 00:11:31.360 eighteen months. It's harder to do it cold turkey, just like, Hey, 133 00:11:31.840 --> 00:11:35.200 you're cute, you want to go out sometime? Hard to do, 134 00:11:35.759 --> 00:11:41.840 but if you do it many, many times, Statistically, all of those 135 00:11:41.879 --> 00:11:46.879 first dates will lead to second dates and third dates simply because your behavior and 136 00:11:46.039 --> 00:11:52.919 expectations will become more routine. You will relax, you will be a better 137 00:11:52.279 --> 00:11:58.879 dater, and I think the more you do it, I think eventually you'll 138 00:12:00.200 --> 00:12:05.159 better choices in who and how you date. And I don't think it's about 139 00:12:05.200 --> 00:12:09.039 who you might like. It's about what you believe you can handle, or 140 00:12:09.080 --> 00:12:15.600 what will make you relax and be yourself, or what kind of activities turn 141 00:12:15.679 --> 00:12:22.639 you on mentally, physically, familiarity. You're on a date and you're like, 142 00:12:22.679 --> 00:12:26.200 oh, this feels normal because I have done this before, and that 143 00:12:26.480 --> 00:12:30.600 normalness will break down some walls that allow excitement to flourish. I really do 144 00:12:30.679 --> 00:12:33.279 believe that I brought up the job interview thing. It's the same with actors 145 00:12:33.279 --> 00:12:41.639 and actresses who audition. Auditioning is a completely different skill set than actually acting, 146 00:12:43.480 --> 00:12:46.840 and a lot of actors and actors they go to Hollywood do they go 147 00:12:46.879 --> 00:12:48.879 to New York and they have not learned the art of the audition and it 148 00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:56.039 hurts their career. Auditioning takes practice and repetitions and rejection. If your audition, 149 00:12:56.120 --> 00:12:58.279 once you get the part, you're on a CSI for ten years, 150 00:12:58.320 --> 00:13:03.440 probably haven't a lot of auditions. But if you're, you know, going 151 00:13:03.519 --> 00:13:07.799 the normal route and you're learning how to audition, your acting talent might not 152 00:13:07.919 --> 00:13:13.519 improve until you actually get the part on CSI. But until then, the 153 00:13:13.559 --> 00:13:16.759 more you audition, the better you should get at it, and that will 154 00:13:16.840 --> 00:13:20.799 lead to the work. A plus B equals C and that's the most crucial 155 00:13:20.840 --> 00:13:28.200 activity on a first date besides the sex. Of course, the conversation. 156 00:13:30.559 --> 00:13:33.559 An audition is essentially a conversation. I'm talking people who are listening playing another 157 00:13:33.639 --> 00:13:37.519 person, so be it. Job. Interview should be a conversation, question 158 00:13:37.840 --> 00:13:43.159 answer, conversation. The date surrounds, you know, other than those weird 159 00:13:43.240 --> 00:13:46.039 dates where you sit in the dark you don't say anything, most dates resolve 160 00:13:46.440 --> 00:13:52.840 revolve around the conversation, and I honestly think I'm a better conversation lest since 161 00:13:52.879 --> 00:13:58.639 I've been a podcaster. Everybody should get a podcast because you learn the EBB 162 00:13:58.679 --> 00:14:03.559 and flow and rhythm and hopefully how to listen. I've never been a great 163 00:14:03.559 --> 00:14:09.000 listener, become a slightly better listeners since I've had a podcast, So consider 164 00:14:09.039 --> 00:14:15.840 this podcast my four hundred first date with you guys. I'm a huge introvert, 165 00:14:16.759 --> 00:14:20.480 except when I'm on a microphone or on a date. It's weird, 166 00:14:20.519 --> 00:14:26.480 but I've had the reps. I'm not necessarily first dates, but second third, 167 00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:31.440 fourth, fifth, lot helps, not scared by anything, not thrown 168 00:14:31.480 --> 00:14:33.840 by anything. I can work through the ekey awkwardness. It's going to throw 169 00:14:33.879 --> 00:14:37.440 a lot of people off. Because I've done it, they can get married 170 00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:43.240 at twenty three. Sorry, helps out with the dating and repetitions don't end 171 00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:52.080 when the relationship begins. That's when the conversations hopefully continue, and then the 172 00:14:52.159 --> 00:15:01.159 experiences begin repetition of experience. We traveled together, we hike together, we 173 00:15:01.240 --> 00:15:05.080 shop together, we brunched together, we parent together, we dream together. 174 00:15:05.159 --> 00:15:13.279 The more you do those things in sync and in companionship and in partnership, 175 00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:20.440 the better relation. The relationship should become regular habits, routines, all of 176 00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:26.360 them over and over. That's how the closeness forms and maintains the repetitions of 177 00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:33.840 that, and the routine should never get routine now versus adjective. Do it 178 00:15:33.879 --> 00:15:37.600 together, do it often, do it again, repetitions. You'll improve yourself, 179 00:15:37.639 --> 00:15:43.759 I think, and your relationship. At least you should the good parts 180 00:15:43.759 --> 00:15:48.279 of it, not the oh my god, we have the same conversation over 181 00:15:48.320 --> 00:15:54.159 and over again. It's we had this conversation over and over again and made 182 00:15:54.159 --> 00:16:00.080 the changes to make the conversations have some value positive reps. Almost everything that 183 00:16:00.120 --> 00:16:07.200 has positivity in your life comes from a sense of repetition. Practice makes perfect. 184 00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:11.559 Go to the gym one time and has no value. Go every day 185 00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:15.960 for a month has a lot of value. Go every day for a year, 186 00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:22.159 huge value. Same thing. Go on a date once. All you 187 00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:27.480 probably had at best is a good sushi role and hopefully some dessert and maybe 188 00:16:27.480 --> 00:16:32.759 an awkward to hug at the end. Go again and again with the same 189 00:16:32.799 --> 00:16:37.200 person or with a different person, and I think you'll gain height and awareness, 190 00:16:37.399 --> 00:16:42.879 and you'll improve your social skills, and you will get comfortable and curious 191 00:16:44.200 --> 00:16:52.480 in conversation of the I don't know, four hundred one ish episodes of this 192 00:16:52.559 --> 00:17:00.399 show, we have probably dealt with don't sit home in big blinking letters. 193 00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:06.680 Don't sit home more than any other topic. We've pounded that in the ground. 194 00:17:07.720 --> 00:17:10.559 Unless the UPS guys coming over to your house and you're gonna end up 195 00:17:10.640 --> 00:17:15.039 dating him, the answers are not in your house. We've dealt with that 196 00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:18.400 more than any other topic, I think, And for over one hundred episodes 197 00:17:18.440 --> 00:17:25.400 of this show, that's exactly what most of you were doing. Twenty twenty 198 00:17:26.160 --> 00:17:30.119 one, twenty twenty two that range. That's exactly what you're doing mostly by 199 00:17:30.240 --> 00:17:37.599 choice. I believe sitting home watching the world pass you by, watching life 200 00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:44.519 pass you by, having opportunities pass you by. If you're gonna listen to 201 00:17:44.519 --> 00:17:48.559 this podcast, go outside and listen to this podcast, do something. And 202 00:17:48.640 --> 00:17:52.799 the bottom line and during that one hundred episodes two years or so of inactivity, 203 00:17:56.839 --> 00:18:00.279 that's what you missed out on. You weren't getting any repetitions at anything 204 00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:07.319 positive. You were getting negatively reinforced in your behavior. And the bottom line 205 00:18:07.480 --> 00:18:11.960 is we'll probably touch on this twenty or thirty or fifty more times on the 206 00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:15.759 road to five hundred episodes, which is just a pit to stop on the 207 00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:21.359 way to a thousand. We're gonna get to a thousand is do it and 208 00:18:21.400 --> 00:18:27.240 then do it again. Do it often. I think you'll do it better. 209 00:18:30.279 --> 00:18:33.559 And that's how you get where you want to go. Where do we 210 00:18:33.599 --> 00:18:36.440 want to go back on the road at least for a few at least for 211 00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:38.640 a handful of live shows. You think we've done a lot of podcasts. 212 00:18:38.680 --> 00:18:41.960 At four hundred and one, we have done four hundred and twenty seven live 213 00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:48.119 great love debates and theaters and comedy clubs and music venues all over the place. 214 00:18:48.119 --> 00:18:52.359 We've done one hundred and twenty eight cities and thirteen countries. We are 215 00:18:52.440 --> 00:18:56.160 back at it one of the cities we have never done because it wiped out 216 00:18:56.279 --> 00:19:00.440 got wiped out during those aforementioned two year period. We're sitting home Raleigh, 217 00:19:00.440 --> 00:19:03.480 North Carolina. We will be at good Night's Comedy Club. Go to Great 218 00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:07.359 Love Debate dot com. The tickets should be on sale and should be there 219 00:19:07.119 --> 00:19:11.440 right here, right down the street, Phoenix, Arizona, Actually Tempe, 220 00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:14.839 Arizona. I think I think it's on sale. We're doing a show at 221 00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:18.759 the Tempe Improv first time here in the Valley of the Sun since two thousand 222 00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:22.440 and like sixteen. We have not done a show here in a long long 223 00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:26.200 time. It's due things are heating up here in the desert, and maybe 224 00:19:26.200 --> 00:19:29.960 we'll get to the bottom of why there's so many bacherette parties here. Shoot 225 00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:33.160 us an email, Great Love Debate at gmail dot com. Don't just shoot 226 00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:36.640 one, shoot many repetitions. Send lots of emails over and over and maybe 227 00:19:36.680 --> 00:19:41.640 we'll answer one on one of the upcoming episode. And please like, share, 228 00:19:41.880 --> 00:19:45.559 review, and follow and review this podcast. Your reviews even after four 229 00:19:45.640 --> 00:19:49.039 hundred shows mean a lot to me and mean a lot in the podcasting ecosystem 230 00:19:49.160 --> 00:19:55.039 because, as always at the Great Love Debate, we never stopped making love. 231 00:19:55.079 --> 00:20:03.640 See you next time, the Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love 232 00:20:03.720 --> 00:20:10.079 Debate, the Greast Love Debates. It's the Greast Love Debate.