When he was leaning back in his chair as he was staring at Chef Jack
and he had a glass of whiskey. He was King Jeoffrey in his mind
at that moment. Yeah. And the point of Game of Thrones, which
is why it was so tragically bastardized by those lightweights, is that all of
the politicking means nothing because there are greater forces at play, and that couldn't
be more apt to this situation. You clean shit and serve people jalapeno Margarita's.
You don't matter. I mean, none of us really do, right
at the end of the day. I mean, you know, names are
so often forgotten, you know, but you are really nothing. That's not
nice. Welcome aboard another brand's banking new episode of another blow Deck podcast.
My name is Dylan. I'm settled up next to one Patrick Kicky. Permission
to come aboard granted? What's that babe? How you doing baby? I'm
good. I'm good baby. Got an episode of below Deck talk about Yeah,
not a good one. You don't think so? No, huh.
You know, the holidays are coming up. You and I were kind of
talking off Mike. Yeah, how are they gonna finish this season? Before
uh, Jesus' birthday, no idea. Yeah, I think they're gonna start
doing that to an episode, thing to a week. I've done it before.
Yeah, because Bravo is not going to step on the sacred time of
year when Jesus was born. Andy's running around the offices screaming about how the
major does the main You mean nothing to you? We have to do this
twice a week. Yeah. No, My favorite part of the episode was
the of course, the puke counter. No, it was the sleeveless mentalist
on James Bond Night. How about that guy? Yeah, three for three.
Chuck a mentalist, chuck a good magician into really any social setting and
just watch the fireworks hit the well, there's no ceiling to this, Scott.
I but I mean it'll be fireworks. Right. Are we getting into
our thoughts and knots already? All right? PSA, this is an important
one. Okay. You guys love Ruby Wren Papya dog girl. Okay,
we're in negotiations with her right now. We want her to join the network
full time. That would mean she'd be recapping below Deck episodes with us.
You love her so much the way that you let us know that you want
her to be on the show because she ain't working for free. Is that
you got to help us grow. One way you can do that well,
actually, one of the only ways you can help us do this well.
Two ways you can support our sponsors and you can go to patreon dot com
slash another podcast network and give us five bucks and we'll never join the network.
At patreon dot com, you can donate a little or a little more.
But yeah, tell your friends, tell your family, spread the gospel
of this podcast about below Deck. So we have got some stuff to get
into. And the stuff begins with the segment called pots and Notts and thoughts
and general thoughts. I'm gonna go first, you know, mind please bad
episode and the season is kind of showing its fangs a little bit to be
not that great of a season. I think it's just not that great of
a season. Right We're we're limping around third right now, and we're talking
about schedules, and we're talking about the nuances of being a Boston and schedules
and leaving trash in the galley before you go out and party all night.
So that's not no, that's bad sleeveless mentalists. That's good, right,
But dentists with alcohol addiction. Yeah, that's really really great. You know.
I love when you're getting your molars drilled, you know, and you
can smell vodka and you're like, something's aren't right here, and oh no,
it's just we just keep everything clean. You're just that's just like mouths
just rubbing alcohol. It's so, why is there a hint of pineapple in
jalapeno? I don't get that. That's a new toothpaste we're doing. You'll
find it if we If we, you know, shine your teeth up like
that, you'll see. But no, yeah, this guy's a real drunk
and we'll see him break glasses and walk in to see where it's sleeping quarters
on the next episode, which will be fun. But tonight we got a
lot of talk about schedules and that's not good. And also Kyle is Kyle
is starting a podcast and I couldn't be more happy for him. And I
don't want our fans to go into his root And this is not sarcastic.
I'm not trying to be tongue in cheek. I don't want our fans to
go into his review section and leave one stars because we take the high road.
The world will do that too, So don't do that, Okay,
but if you do want to support them, go support them. If you
like Kyle, you go for it. I personally think that he's made of
that pink slime from Ghostbusters too. Oh, I thought you were going to
say the stuff that chicken nuggets is made out. No, no, no,
it's that pink slime in the sewers of Ghostbusters too. That it feeds
off anger and discourse in misery and it gets more powerful. Discord is a
discourse, Isn't it like public discourse or discord? I don't want to be
this guy. Okay, I don't want to do this. Okay, zero
Now, I don't zero pods. Okay, here's my thoughts on this.
I agree with you totally. With this episode, we're rounding third. Things
are starting to slow down. A lot of the things in this episode were
not very entertaining. One thing I grabbed onto and to me, I know,
it seems like I beat up on you a lot, but I've got
to kind of let you have it here. You sit Kyle down at some
point during the episode. I think it was like in the stairwell and you've
been told what he did to Jack and Lily the night before, and you
give him kind of a impromptu employee review slash back channeling session. You allow
him to know that you spoke with Chef Jack and Lily, meaning they came
to you to complain about what he did. So I feel like I'm in
the goddamn movie groundhog Day. Performance reviews don't really They're not efficient when the
person who you're reviewing is rolling their eyes the entire time and you're saying,
I know the point is not driven home. Okay, right, I hate
to fire people. I've been a manager, of supervisor, owner of a
company. I know it's very difficult. But what Kyle engaged in at that
night at the nightclub and don't and Chef Jack's hands aren't clean either a little
bit. It would appear to me that he was kind of trying to instigate
a little bit of a drama. That being said, Sandy had told him
last episode, you do one more fucking thing, you're out of here,
m h. And he did one more thing, yep. And rather than
report it to Sandy, to me, you chose to brush it off.
Why because you need him on service Sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest
thing to do. Boy, I'm getting really good damn preachy here. No,
No, the steak's really fucking low for sea rats. It's not like
they're in Congress. Hey, Pat, get me in the pews because I'm
all here for it, all right, you know, to me, tell
me, come on now, you gotta do the right thing. Kyle is
creating a hostile work environment. And I know it's maritime lawts. You know,
sea rats you do things to each other, but he definitely should not
be there. He is the problem on the boat and he needs to go.
Yeah, anyway, where else was it going? Oh? I love
that mentalist. I thought it was a decent episode. Knots. So last
week left off, we were at Oosteria and we were Hey, we were
having this really not United States conversation about degrees of banter or bans. It's
just one of those things that I don't think Americans really have any fucking idea
what these people are talking about. Kyle takes away and Toomey states that he
is a stick of dynamite that needs no match. And I want to say
that that whatever came out of her mouth made absolutely no sense. Well,
it's just that it's incorrect. He's pink slime. He's the chicken nugget pink
slime that is in the sewers that feeds on anger. He's not his dynamite.
He's a pink slot. The idea that he's dynamite, but there's no
match, but it's still explodes. I believe she was trying to say that
he starts fights for no reason. Yeah, I believe that was the point,
right, right, right, Yeah, And that's totally true now that
Silent Actors, Dick is hard. He wants to dance, okay, he
wants to raise, he wants to dance, and he's really torued up.
He's ready to go out. But before we get to a mostly empty club,
Captain Timeshare is walking around and she sees is back at the boat.
Yeah, back at the boat. She's there's vegemite on glasses and fucking Laura's
noodles all over the place, and you know, there's come everywhere, and
she's like, ah, this is not okay, it is it's not.
So we get to be Stu. We rip shots and Max begins speaking on
Peter Pan and how he's Peter Pan, and he makes a modicum of sense,
but with his kind of jumbled, fun bingo cage brain energy. But
he doesn't make any sense. Now Jack about what happened, and Jack speaks
in stupidly close proximity to Kyle about how he's been distant from him because he's
drama. And that is when Kyle once again unironically tells Lily imposingly and Bigley
that Jack is someone who will turn her against the rest of the team and
to form her own opinions of the people that he thinks she should hate.
Now does that does that sound familiar? What it is? Of course it's
familiar. It's his it's his hot route, it's what he goes to every
single time. But the inability to recognize how embarrassing the behavior is, coupled
with the mental wellness posts on Instagram and the kind of kind of big Steaks
that he really talks about everything in his It's just a text book fucking malignant
narciss the grandiose way. Kyle, I'm coming for you. Sorry, I've
really held off. I don't apologize his big pink ass. You are fucking
c rat and you're you just gossip and backstab and start fights. There the
Steaks couldn't be fucking lower. But you speak in such grandiose terms. You're
not a fucking member of parliament with one of those funny wigs on doing something
important. No, you're cleaning fucking toilets, backstabbing people, you dumb ass,
right, right, right? I dude. You know he said,
like in one of those posts today because we fall on Instagram, as you
point out, he's like, uh, He's like, you don't know me,
but if you think you know me, I'm better even though I don't
know myself. One of those stupid things. You read it like three times,
like I have no idea what he's trying to, Like, you're misappropriating
Shania Twain quotes. You're right, I don't know yet, but I've been
recapping your ass for two years. So and what I tell you is what
I do know is you gotta go fucking talk to some people because you're Yeah,
it's never going to take you know. Uh. My therapist said that
she doesn't even speak to narcissists. She won't sit across from them to get
it because it's just not going to work. Well, she first have to
diagnose them to even understand she yeah, yeah, right, right, I
heard this thing that there's actually really only four percent of the population are narcissists,
so the term is overused quite a bit. Yeah, but I don't
think it's overused here. I don't. I think it's a wortional immaturity.
No, I think it's narcissm. I think it's a warping of reality that
could see your face pulled into a shadow shadow pool, what shallow pool of
water and just drownd there. That's exactly what he's fucking doing when everyone hates
him. When he was leaning back in his chair as he was staring at
Chef Jack and he had a glass of whiskey, he was King Jeoffrey in
his mind at that moment. Yeah. And the point of Game of Thrones,
which is why it was so tragically bastardized by those lightweights, is that
all of the politicking means nothing because there are greater forces at play, and
that couldn't be more app to this situation. You clean shit and serve people,
Jalapeno Margarita's you don't matter. I mean, none of us really do,
right at the end of the day. I mean, you know,
names are so often forgotten, you know, but you are really nothing.
That's not nice. So Lily kicks this whole thing off and has to kind
of chain smoke down another barrage of gossipy bullshit from Kyle, and then we
get to the Vands. Lily is, according to Kyle, very influenced by
Jack and when Toomey says, I don't think so Kyle says, drunk man,
sober man, I don't give a shit what you think, and then
despite the fog of drunkenness, he realizes, Oh, she's my boss.
I should probably tell her. Actually I do. Yeah, But the truth
of the matter is he could not care less what she thinks because the only
thing that matters is what he thinks, because he's a malignant narcisses. Hey,
by the way, we're having Laura tomb Raider on this week, so
so I'm excited to talk to him. Yeah, we'll get to the bottom
of all this what she was seeing on the ground, So put your submit
your questions for her in our Facebook group. At another blowdeck podcast, so
hot Smut in the Vans telling, Lily tells Maximilian to take her to bed,
and then we get to tandem creepy camps Luca and Jess stressfully having sex
with one another, and a Frenchman in Lily, Maximilian and Lily sliding off
of the bed. It's crazy stuff. So we get to the next day.
Next morning, Lily's having a tough time. Yeah, nobody else is.
And this is where I don't want to get ahead of myself. But
one of the things that comes with being a professional seat rat you have to
be able to hold your liquor and you have to be able to go to
work the next day, because what naturally comes with a kind of flight for
your life away from all the problems that you've ever endured is a real,
real bad alcohol problem. And you have to have money in order to keep
traveling around the world and running away from finding yourself. But also saying that
you're finding yourself. With that, you have to be able to scrub shit
off of the toilet the next day. I mean, it's just you have
to be able to do it. And Lily, I don't want to tell
you how to do your business, but I think you've been on this boat
for thirty hours. Probably not a good love not working the whole day now,
Dylan, I also noticed something next morning with the next morning with Luca
and the Frenchman, they trade stories just you know, bedded to women,
you know. And I don't know if the audience knows this, but with
guys, the descriptions when they trade stories, it's never well, she kissed
my belly gently all night and then she touched my hair, and then she
kissed me and I still smell her on my lips. It's did you banger?
Bro? Yeah? Nice, followed by a fist bump and then no
details we shared. That's how we talk about something. Yeah, guys don't
have a lot of dirt on really anything, and women are often frustrated by
it. You know, right, how to go good? Nice? Do
you banger? Yep? Okay? Cool chack? Can do me have a
little chat about how Kyle is a broken little bitch who's bad at Macavelian politics.
I mean, he is so bad at his politics because what he's trying
to accomplish is done in the shadows, not out in the daylight. As
loud as you possibly can in a thong. Can I say he's bad at
it? But in the land of the Blind, the man with one I
is king. Everybody else is so bad too at all of it. That
he's getting away with it makes me sick. Movement is medicine, Lily,
and she is not moving. She is not, as I mentioned, a
professional seawright. Because we cut to the deck. I mean, these people
are up and Adam, they were slamming shots of Blowjob and Long Islands the
night before and now they're just excited and ready to go diving. You know,
you need to develop that muscle. Laura and Haley and Luca are absolutely
fine. But Luca and his Pearls are not having a good morning because he
is called up to the bridge and Captain Sandy says, hey, there's a
big mess and that sucks, right, and I listen, Luca's Luca's a
cutie, right he is. And he also takes criticism well, yeah,
he takes criticism pretty well. But he's definitely faltering a little bit. Yeah,
it's getting close to the end of the season. He's trying to fuck
everything that moves. He's more focused on pussy than he is his job.
And that's just a fact. And also, when are the Pearls going to
be out of fashion? Because I'm excited for that day. I'm really excited
for them to go by the way of the choker, right, that only
lasted like a year and a half. Well, it lasted a long time.
Then it got kind of reanimated I think probably by Taylor Swift. Oh
well, I hope uggs don't come back. They were really ugly. It's
actually in the name of the shoe. Yeah, it's amazing when people say,
you know, oh, that this product's not going to work? What
about ugs? You do? You gotta have a belief in yourself totally.
You're gonna be an entrepreneur. You have believe in yourself. Yes, you
do, because you're going to get a million no's before you get a yes.
Absolutely. If you don't handle rejection, well that's fine. It can
be stressful. But you know what helps, Oh right, micro Dos.
Dude. Micro Dose is an unbelievable company and a sponsor of this show.
Pat, How is micro dos been helping your life? Oh? In so
many ways. I've been having anxiety lately. I don't know if you knew
this, but I was attacked by three zombies a week and a half.
Oh yeah, that was a cool thing. It's amazing to see, you
know, because zombies are often very sloppy. They don't have militaristic coordination.
But these did oh they Yeah, they were all collectively. It was like
it was like they were speaking out. How do you like, what's that
from science telepathic? Yeah, they were tough. They're like, hey,
you get in front of his car, I'll stand in back so we can't
go forward to reverse, and then I'll punch his side side window. Yeah.
It's like like fentanyl kind of makes people twins. That's exactly what I
think it was. So microdoves can help with that exact Dude, I've been
taking micro dose and I'm calmer now and I'm slowly starting to forget the trauma
it was inflicted on me on that fateful day. Yeah, exactly. It
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is available nationwide. Links can be found in the show description below. All
right, we charge forward. Yeah, puke count hits five right now.
Yeah, Jess is in a very scary place. Her feelings for Luca are
starting to grow. Jess, Poor poor Jess. She knows what he is.
He's a scorpio. Oh this one, yeah, yeah, he is
of that parable from that avant garde French film with Ryan Gosling where the bad
guy is Albert Brooks. You know what I'm talking about, I think so,
yeah, yeah, the frog and the scorpion, right right, he
carries them across the river and then the scorpions stabs him and he goes,
what was that for? You said you weren't going to do that. He
goes, I'm a scorpion. I lie all the time. Take my poison,
look at me, and in this case, the poison is the semen.
That's right, right. So work is done while Lily pukes and Toomey
has that conversation that she needed to have with Kyle. And when she said
that she needed to have a conversation with Kyle at that club, I was
like, yeah, yeah, I'm excited to see this one. And that's
exactly what happened. You cover this because you were right on the money,
give me chats with Kyle about Kyle being Kyle Who's powered by the pink slime
in the sewer of New York City from the movie Ghostbusters Too, and he
claims Lily came to him to get an understanding of the drama on the boat.
A thing that did not happen the way that they interacted was he overheard
Chef Jack saying let's not talk about this, and then lorded over her with
his finger in her face, basically saying, you are going to take my
side or their side, and if you take their side, it's gonna be
bad for you. So he's lying here, uh huh, and then to
me essentially waves the white flag because she needs them and for her, that's
all that matters, despite the fact he's creating a complete hostile work environment.
He says, Honey Jack has blocked on social media, and if I hear
this kind of conclusive end to a friendship one more time, I'm just gonna
lose it. Because Kyle, I gotta say, no one gives a fuck
about literally anything that you do with your social media and your podcast and your
acidic personality. He is pink'slime who came up with the shapes at McDonald's.
I mean, is that nonsense or is that nonsense? I'm not sure if
I'm familiar. We're talking about the nuggets. Are they're nuggies? Right?
They're circles, but then there's the boot. I'm not sure. I haven't
seen the boot, but yeah, they look like little gold nuggets. Man.
When was the last time you had a nuggie? Oh? I got
them all the time for my daughter. Oh you got to pay. You
got to look at the sizes this time. Of the shapes, they're very,
very they're amorphously consistent. It makes no sense. Well I'll check that
out. It's like it's like the silent film actor is the one at their
test kitchen. He's like, I think it should be a circle and cowboy
boots. All right, we got to get to a preference. Sheep madea
friend sheep meeting meeting. What do we got? Not a lot? Here?
Guy named Michael. He basically does fucking fake tooth implants. They make
a lot of dough, and you can make a lot of dough. I
mean people, people charge an arm and a leg for those things. Dude,
I was gonna get one, the cheapest one and by the way,
it's not just a one day thing. You got to go back like three
times. They got to put a piece of a pole in your fucking gums
and then they uh and then they put the new tooth in there and they
live in there. That down or whatever. Yeah, anyway, it's like
five grand or something. Yeah, and that's on the low end. I
mean, think about what poor Gennal Lions had to go through. What she
have to go through. I mean she got our home out done. Oh
is that right? Oh? Yeah, So it's gonna be in a double
O seven casino royale night. That is a that's just a casino night made
a little bit different by the cultural reference. So yeah, we've seen that
a thousand times. And then one of the requests is and it's not so
much a request and more of a passive aggressive kind of ota kind of thing
where you go, you know, we're practicing in July. You don't have
to be there, but when you don't show up, we're gonna notice.
Late night snacks are welcome. What is that? Yeah, I think you
nailed it. Just say we need late night snacks. Yeah, we got
some drinkers. Oh my god. Yeah, Amiche, Amiche Pipatia. Lily
is still fucking off, but thankfully she has a silent film actor to give
her water. And now she's got a problem on her hands. Now,
I'd want to point something out. So Lily is still passed out. I
think the Peke counters six or seven right now, Kyle and Anne chat or
Jessica chat and Jessica kind of complains about Lily not waking up yet to do
work, and Kyle says he can't say anything because anytime he talks, he
gets accused of causing drama, which I'd argue he's doing right now. He's
accusing someone of getting him in trouble if he talks about them when you can
only see your reflection, the nuances and complexities of life play no part.
Wow, who said that? Me? Oh? Nice dude? I mean
he's a can you. That's the the reason why I think he's he's pathologically
in trouble because there's no He says things without any irony that you're just like,
it's not even funny. It just makes you so disgusting. God,
he's starting to really wear on me. Yeah, this episode was tough,
so Toomey reports Lily to Sandy yeah, And she goes down there and knocks
on the door and Lily says, who is it I'm throwing out. Sandy
says, it's your captain and says, h just want to remind you this
is a real job. Fucking sea rats. I mean, it's just unbelievable.
Man. Isn't it great that a captain has to say that. Yeah,
that's what they really do. Treat the thing like they just show up
and fucking party. It's unbelievable. But not tomb Raider, well not Haley,
no, no no. But before we move on, I want to
say this. So Sandy warns Lily if she does this again, she may
put her on double secret probation. Okay, yeah she did say this.
If this happens again, we're going to talk. She says. If you
go out and drink so much that you can't get out of bed for work
the next day, we're gonna have a conversation. How about I'll fire your
ass because that's what it should be. Tom's on the phone with the provisional
person, and the person here is that it's going to be a double A
seven party. And because they're on acid too, says, I think a
mentalist would be perfect. So Lily finally gets up, has to get right
to work. There's a shot of her cleaning the toilet. I think she's
taking a shit at the same time. It was really weird. It was
like she had given up an emptied her bowels. Puke counters at ten.
At this point nightfalls, Lily is still really sick because I think she said
that when she drinks she gets low blood sugar. That's right, that she's
got diabetes. And then we get to a little fun time in the mess
crew mess hall. What are they called comary in the common area? Yeah.
Now, did tom Raider lists this on her earlier sea rat history?
No, okay, this is a new sea rat history, and it's sea
rat history. It is not. It does not have a place on the
sea rat sad scale. Absolutely not. I even pull that scale out.
No, you wouldn't pull that out for somebody talking about how they love opera.
Not at all. But did she say she's an enthusiast and because she
was singing but she wasn't doing very good opera? No, listen. Tomb
Raider excels at most things nauticals. She really excels at perceiving traps and tombs
and on starcuffa guy and stuff like that. But an opera singer, she
is not well, she said not according to her says one day she hopes
to be an opera singer, Neil things that won't happen. Ever, Yeah,
that boy, are we being me? No? I think she was
kidding about that, because she's how horrible she is. It's singing. But
listen, I root for any and all dreams. The tomb raider has half.
It's late, it's not late. It's seven thirty. So Lily has
turned it around. The brid is back, and she has returned to burning
clothing. Hailey is going diving, and we should say next day. Next
day, Hailey is going diving and the crew is arriving now. During a
little meeting, we remind Lily that the you know, the the we're happy
that you're back in black and all that stuff, but you need to take
initiative. And when we're having this conversation, we get a call from Sandy,
who says, hey, I don't have clothing, and Lily says,
in an OTF, there's no winning here, there's only failure and no positivity.
Listen, I get it, you're kind of thrown to the lions here,
but don't apply for the show. Well, all right, great,
all right, so to me realizes she's got someone green, and uh,
green is a nice way of saying someone lied on their resume because Lily doesn't
know how to do anything. Yeah, so that's not wouldn't be the first
time. I think it was. At the beginning of this season. We
had a dude that lied. Wasn't even a he's basically stolen identity. Oh
that's right. Yeah, no, he was a drug trafficker. Right.
And then we had a chef that had no qualifications and decided on a nice,
lovely evening out on charter that she'd served nachos with corn on the top.
Yeah, she lied on a resume too, she did. Yeah,
she didn't. She didn't say on a resume that she hates gays as much
as she does. Right. We also had a bosin that I called she
used to win at Street Fighter. I forget who that character. Oh yeah,
rey gun, it's not new to lie on your resume to be on
below deck. So the charter guests arrive first name, last name, Mike
Stevens. Good to me, Yeah he is jacked, and these people are
already druyk. He is jacked. Hey, Dyl, if you don't mind,
I just want to back up one second. We'll get to the guests.
Toomey says, referring to Lily, we give people chances, they fail,
and they leave. That's a great attitude toombs. I agree with firing
Lily. I agree with Toomey's mindset. Lily worked four minutes during a charter
and proceed to get drunk, causing hangover, thus disrupting the workflow. Here's
where Toomey fucks up. Yeah, don't say it out loud to another employe,
you amateur. Jesus fucking Christ. I mean, yeah, wow,
Tom's having a tough go Groundhog Day. Tom. I'll tell you what.
Why don't we have you on at the end of the season. You can
explain away all this stuff. Generally, it's better to just fall on a
sword. It's endearing to the audience. Yeah, mm hmm. People like
our redemptions exactly. Yeah, they're like, how how is she gonna get
back up because the sword has impaled her? But I feel bad because there's
a sword in her. So these charter guests are already drunk, this guy
Cliff is definitely he has a waste management vibe to him. And by that
I mean I think he orders hits on people. Oh but you thought he
was really drunk too, I would have given that away. The fact that
grown adults are throwing crackers at each other, well that's Amise Capeche. I
mean, he's just absolutely losing his mind. But we cut back to Kyle's
tooth problem. Do you remember when he was like, it's so painful,
and then the one guy son signed, my son signed, Amiche is well
on his way to blackout. Now we get a little meanwhile here, laundry's
bad, it's very bad, and Kyle and Jack aren't speaking, and then
Amiche Capiche goes down. Well, I'll tell you why do adults think that
they can do this. It's like the bachelor party of the second marriage,
where you're forty two and you're like, let's fucking turn off strip club a
headache. At four o'clock, you order chicken tenders and you watch Sports Center
and you fall off asleep. Yeah, yeah, I love the forty year
olds that think they're going to go to Vegas, sit by the pool and
drink copious amounts of alcohol. You're a rally to go to a club at
eleven. Get that hell out of here. The vibes are so awkward because
everyone's just like, I can't You don't mean I can't have a conversation with
anybody. I need to be in bed on YouTube shorts and then maybe I'll
beat off maybe maybe the energy. All right, dell, let me explain
away this whole dentist issue with there a bunch of goddamn alcoholics trying to bury
their stresses. Studies show twenty five percent of dentists struggle with depression, and
yeah, and that only accounts for those who report it. Here's why I
mission so distraught. He's walking around on the boat in circles. Is I'm
not a real doctor. So this is what happens. You go to school,
right, You think you're going to do something meaningful, meaningful with your
life in the fast paced industry of dental care, and then your first client
opens his mouth and it turns out he must have lost a toothbrush eighteen years
ago into the bottom. Find it because now you're dealing with that, right
right, right? And also, no one ever wants to see you,
right mm hmm. Someone walks in their office. They don't want to be
there. It's a place they never want to be and they never want to
see again. Well, and I've done this jag before, but I hate
dentistry. I hate the profession. I hate the people that work in it.
I think that their expectation of people is bullshit. I think they haven't
innovated. They really are just lazy, and they masquerade as all knowing and
helpful. There's nothing helpful about you telling me that I need to floss twice
a day for sixty seconds each time. Nobody has fucking time for that.
Okay, nobody's gonna fucking do that, okay, And don't tell me that
the scope picks aren't as good and that you need to actually do the flossing,
because I'm not going to do that. I'd rather just fucking pay forty
grand and have my teeth decay when I'm fifty. Okay, I'm not going
to do that. Well, just by new teeth. Also, everything is
pain, Everything is pain, Everything is discos. And let me tell you,
I was all in on COVID, right. I loved COVID. I
was like, let's be safe, you know, let's be safe. You
know, let's be safe and watched Tiger King. Right. I wasn't one
of those people that was like, you know, not me, and who
who who? And by not me and I mean, you're not gonna make
me, you know, and who cares? Right? But I my last
dentist and I'll stop soon. Kept this guy, This guy took my bonded
retainer around. Okay, jacked up my bottom teeth right, My bottom teeth
are disgusting now because of this guy. And I could not get in the
elevator in February of twenty twenty three without a mask. I mean, come
on, guy, I'm paying you a bunch of money. You're stabbing my
face with needles. It's just get better. Sorry. I had a dentist
one time. I kept I couldn't help myself. I was like an OCD
thing my tongue for some reason. One to keep inspecting what the person was
doing to that, so you got to check their work. And he warned
me like four times, and then he hit my tongue with one of those
things that made it bleed. Yeah he did that on purpose. Oh yeah,
he definitely did. Son of a bitch. So lunch is served.
It's skirt steak con tributary with linguini and muscles, which is a classic combo.
Yeah, I kid, that's disgusting. But this is a nice heavy
lunch, which is much too much for water sports and scuba diving. But
these you know, toothed professionals need some soaking up. So this is a
very very necessary meal for check to serve. We need a big vatapasta,
we need some protein and a light condimento. Then this work schedule thing shows
up again, bravo. Come on. I didn't even take notes on it.
I was so born. I forgot that these folks are going diving.
And we've seen this in the past with Asia going you know, sure damn
and you can go diving. No you can't. Now when you've had fifteen
shots at tequila a vadapasta and you're going ten meters underwater, it's just not
a good combo. But we'll get a little c red history on Haley.
Haley she loves diving. Fifteen thousand log dives. Wow, yeah, she
knows what she's doing. Who in God's name has time for fifty fifteen thousand
log dives? I can't even imagine that. A lot of time. You
know. I had a dude work for me for a while where I'd pick
him up on Mondays and I go, what'd you do this weekend? And
he'd say, oh, I binged two shows on Netflix. And I'd say,
don't you have three kids? Where do you find the time to watch
forty one hours of television over the course of a weekend. Oh, I
know who you're talking about? Oh no, you don't. So the text
between Italian Luca. Yeah, I have no words. Oh yeah, I've
lamented the melodramatic, toxic love sick puppies who are thirty five and act like
this. I need to stop hating people so much because it's not good.
It's gonna give me cancer. But you never know how special morning coffee is
until you don't have it. I a couple things about this one, Luca.
You wanted to kill her before she left, and you didn't want anything
to do with her. You didn't want anything to do with it. Mal
absence makes the heart grow fonder, Dylan, And to tell you, what's
fat buff aj gonna think about you texting little Luca. Okay, this just
it makes me want to puke like Lily. Honestly, so breaks are becoming
an issue, and evidently Jess says that Lily is taxing because she doesn't know
what to do. And Jess doesn't like to lead. That's right, she
likes to be a follower. Jess not liking to lead is one of the
most shocking things I've heard this season. She's Anne. Of course she's not
Achilles. So a couple beats here. Did we even have dinner or did
they just gloss over it? I forget it. No, we'll get to
dinner. On a second. The mentalist arrives and there is a bit of
hectic coordination going on here and on my side of the street. It is
entirely Toomey's fault. So the mentalist needs to be picked up. But Luca
has brought everybody, brought all the things onto the Bible, including uh,
pulled the tender up. Yeah, so it's sitting on the crane. So
Toomey says, it would have been nice if Luca asked me if I needed
anything or if I needed the tender tonight. I'm sorry, do you guys
normally have the car? Is Lucas supposed to be like, hey, do
you have a sleeveless mentalist? Coming aboard this evening? Is there a in
more cake that I need to pick up? In what world do you not
go to Luca and tell him that this is happening? You would think that
they would commune. I forget what Sea reported out. It must have been
Tom. She's the smart ounter Turmuraders should be running this whole thing. Yes,
you guys need to communicate what is the itinerary for the night right?
And that that apparently isn't it happening? And I'm not saying that Luca's not.
It's failing miserably. It's both of them. So he arrives and he's
very James Bond. He looks like a polygamist who spends a lot of money
on incense. But he, however out of place he is, and however
nonsensical. This is fucking kills it. They fucking kills it. These mentalists.
I don't know how they do it. It's magic. It's the only
explanation. They're really they really the hand I get right like, you work
on it, You work on it, you work on it before you know.
How'd you get her to say that it was an ace of diamonds?
And then and then she's holding that card. How that happened? And when
you say I pick a vacation destination, how do you know that, She's
going to say, very sloppily and very American, the entire continent of Australia.
That's crazy. So, as is the case with all mentalists, they
absolutely blow their socks off, and we get to do that. It's going
to be pork belly with carrots and apple songs fought. Yeah, uh,
we don't. Hamish and his shades, I mean, take those off now,
you are not the baby. I don't know why you were wearing those
at this dinner table. And then we have an issue with literally no one
being not asleep. Okay, so Jessica slash Ann is down with Lily fixing
the bedrooms because that's what you have to do. When the people come back
from dinner, they want there. Lennon's changed, and we have too Mey
running around with her head cut off doing dinner service, and then the entire
exterior is sleeping. Luca, Hey, hey, I'm sorry, No who's
I thought it was Jeff Shack's in the galley So noahs, Lara, She's
like, I've worked all day, I haven't gotten a break in forty eight
hours. Yeah, hey, I need you to get up right, come
on hey, and I'd be like I jezus fucking cries. How Luca has
coordinated it so that every single person on his team is a sleep is It
might be more impressive than anything he's done, but we'll find out more about
that next week. Jumping the iTunes, writing to reviews, five stars,
kind words We'll see at patreon dot com. Slash another podcast network where you
can donate a little or a little more. Follow us on socials. But
love you guys very much. I'm doing saying goodbye, pat Say goodbye.