Those who have strong perfectionistic tendencies. These are learned behaviors and beliefs and actions
that stem from childhood needs going unmet. If you're the oldest of your siblings,
if you have multiple siblings, you are far more prone to perfectionistic tendencies
because as each sibling came along, the attention you got from your parents was
less and less and less. What did you do to get your core needs
of acceptance, belonging, connection, love, and validation met. You started
trying to be perfect. You got straight a's, you won first place,
you were the captain or All star on your team. You learned that in
order to get the attention that you so desperately craved at a young age,
you had to be perfect. That is why you struggle even as an adult.
And at this point we have to recreate a sense of safety in making
mistakes, in being less than perfect, find a sense of falling in love
with the process. Hi, this is Matt Subble from Lynden Washington and I
play at Raspberry Ridge Golf Course. This is Golf Smarter number ninety six Strategies
for overcoming the push for perfection on the golf course with Paul Salter and introducing
the Golf Song. This is Golf Smarter, sharing stories, tips and insights
from great golf minds to help you lower your score and raise your golf IQ.
There's your host, Fred Green. Welcome to the Golf Smarter Podcast.
Paul, Hello, Fred, Thank you for having me. Thanks so much
for joining us today. Because this is the kind of stuff that I always
like to get deep into because I'm not going to just focus on mechanics,
which I know people love, but there's the difference between swing Like I played
yesterday with these guys and I'm like, they're just swinging their club, they're
not playing golf, and there's such a difference there. I think that they're
so focused on the mechanics of hitting a golf ball, which they didn't do
well, but golf ball And one of the things that you know, doctor
Joe Parrot has said for years and years and years is being episode number one
on the show, was I help people get out of their own way.
And that's something that you have been working on as well. And that's what
I want to start with on what that actually means absolutely so the way I
like to phrase it is I help golfers overcome the emotional and mental hazards of
their mind to get them out of the proverbial bunkers keeping them stuck in a
state of poor performance. And you and I both know relatably, and you
know speaking to other golfers that the moment we are triggered by an errand shot,
making a mistake, misreading a green, it's almost as if an uncon
conscious automatic pattern triggers an emotional cascade of nasty, defeating, self talking,
limiting beliefs, defeeding stories, and sabotaging behaviors that can send a seemingly great
round quickly down the gutter in a matter of milliseconds. And it is my
job to work with golfers and the other high performers I work with to help
them uncover what I like to call the destructive mindset programs that are keeping them
stuck, whether in a play or pattern of mediocrity, h mental hazards.
What a great way to you know, we have to deal with so many
different hazards on the terrain, but there's the one that you carry in your
bag, in your back pocket, in your head, right that we always
have to deal with. Well, where do we start with that? You
know you're right many there's so many different triggers on the golf course, but
we need to try to overcome. And the beautiful thing here is mentioned in
the beginning, like so many of us are guilty of overly fixating on crafting
the perfect swing. And it starts with you know, you're so familiar with
doctor Joe parent there and he really talks about just this level of awareness and
feeling into the swing first, to allow your subconscious to kind of guide you
to what's tight, what's off, what feels a little different. The same
approach can be taken to really assessing your mental game as you're starting to bring
more awareness as you show up on the course the moment you hit an errant
shot or you find yourself in a difficult, unexpected lie, begin to take
an inventory from that thirty thousand foot view with a lens of compassionate curiosity,
What am I feeling right now? Why is their tightness in my chest?
Why is there butterflies in my stomach or heaviness on my shoulders? And we
can begin to connect the dots and really observe a pattern of emotion, physical
sensation that after the round is over, we don't need analysis during the round,
but after the round is over we can say, okay, I felt
incredibly rushed and anxious because the force in behind me was on my tail the
entire time. That anxiety and urgency translated to tightness, I kept slicing my
shot off the tea box. And we can start to gain awareness of what
anxiety looks and feels like in our body, connected to how it disrupts our
natural flow and fluid swing. And then off the course, we can start
incorporating either you know, some short term impromptu strategies to control the breath and
the emotion, or do a little digger. I'm a little biased. I
love hypnosis to get to the root calls of some of these issues so that
we can release these big emotional blocks that keep us from playing our best dig
into the strategy's part as let's do that. Yeah, So I mean,
I love myself as an example, I'm the best getting pig here. So
I remember, just last week, I'm playing golf with one of my best
friends. We haven't seen each other in a couple months. We're catching up
and albeit my golf journey, as you know, we may or may not
get to it and then I'm starting fresh after fifteen years again really going all
in on golf. But with that said, I noticed right away, literally
the foursome was on our tail from the beginning. They're riding, They're too
close for comfort on the tea box, and I had the proverbial tightness in
my chest. I felt the tension in my swing and blow and behold,
I was struggling off the tea box. It makes perfect sense. So the
best way to begin lowering that emotional volume to relieving the tension that I have
found is through a variety of different breathwork practices, and one of my favorite
that I like to coach on and do personally is called a rapid reset breath.
And the way that I implement that I'm sure everyone has their own variations
is I like to do two quick and sharp inhales through the nose followed by
one loud, audible exhale. So and I'll do three, three to five
rounds of that just to lower the emotional volume of my brain and body,
which I find allows that tension to kind of dissipate back into the ether and
I can reconnect with the present moment. Well, that's awesome and it's the
kind of thing. Then if you're doing that, you're walking down the chorus,
hopefully not in the cart with somebody going it's like, are you okay,
dude, what's going on? I'm just trying to lose the last shot
out of my head, right, And but basically that's what you'd want to
do, is just get away from that. You know, Tiger always talked
about just counting to ten, right, just counting to ten, just let
and then let it go and focus on what's next. Yeah, so hard
to do, especially after a three part and it especially Yeah, I hear
you, that's that next shot mentality. What can you do? And there's
a variety of strategies, but whatever works for you as an individual needs to
be a priority after every shot to redirect your focus to what you have in
front of you, because that is the only shot that matters in The most
important shot of the round is the next shot. It's also the hardest,
agreed, The hardest shot in golf is the next one. Yeah. You've
worked with a lot of people in various capacities, but a lot of golfers,
a lot of professional athletes. And one of the things that you listened
in the bio that you sent me, and I'm left turn here. But
I was just fascinated professional poker players. I had a hunch you were going
there. So I'm not a poker player, but that's fascinating to me.
They get in their own way as well. Oh absolutely, So I have
a detour that kind of runs parallel and off course with my own coaching career.
And then I pursued poker professionally for a couple of years. Oh wow.
So I started to recognize despite all of the studying, despite having a
coach to help me with the technical aspects of the game, I was my
biggest enemy. The more money I played for, the bigger buy ins and
stakes, the more I found myself in a position of knowing exactly what to
do mathematically logically, but I couldn't pull the trigger. There was a collection
of fear, passivity, scarcity around money and self worth that were making themselves
known under the hood, which, regardless of how little or how much you
know about poker, let me tell you, that is a fast track to
losing a lot of money really quickly. So I hired my first mindset coach
at that time, who did wonders in helping me unstuck myself not only on
the poker table, but in various aspects of my life, because just like
in golf, we find on the poker table, like emotional awareness, management
and regulation is crucial so that you can find the sweet spot, find your
flow state, and play, you know, effortlessly, with the utmost presence
in every decision you make. Wow. Uh, I want to pursue that
on a personal level, not the poker part, but the gambling party.
And I'm gonna do that when we come back right after this. I've talked
about this a lot on the podcast that I'm not one to gamble. I
know that golf was designed as a gambling game. I mean, flat out
that's what it is. But it's not. That's not fun for me,
and I think it's probably ninety nine percent it's a mental thing. It's just
that I'm just like, I freak out, I tense up, I choke,
and it's like, because there's a there's a dollar on the line,
Oh my god, you know, I don't you know, I know what
it is. Maybe it's my up and greaming up up, up bringing.
See I can't even say it without getting but it's It's something that I think
prevents me from playing with a lot more people because they're like, well,
he's no fun because he doesn't want to he doesn't want to do what's all
about. Yeah, you're not alone there. We all carry our own collection
of money related beliefs, fears, and stories. And I'm a prime example,
you know. And you're spot on too. Our upbringing, specifically during
a time where we're so impressionable and malleable, those first seven years of our
life in particular, and I can tell you, you know, growing up
as the oldest of four, the more and more children and siblings that ultimately
accumulated, the less and less money there was to go around. You throw
in a recession, you throw in a mom who undulates between being a stay
at home mom working part time in full time. There's only so much money
to go around. And when we're so young, you know, we're not
consciously aware of the conversations our parents are having around money, particularly again those
zero to seven years, but unconsciously we're incredibly aware of every word, the
tonality, the voice, the body language, every element of the discussion around
money. We are just absorbing. And you know, there's a cool concept
out there. I can't take credit for I heard it first from Ed Milett
on one of his podcasts episodes called your Emotional Home and whatever emotions that were
most predominant in your house, And if we talk about money, if it
was scarcity and lack, those are what you carry with you into adulthood,
and your subconscious will deploy a series of sabotaging behaviors and patterns to keep you
rather to fulfill your need to get this fix of whatever emotion is in that
foundational emotional home of yours. So for someone like me, I can speak
from personal example. I grew up with that scarcity mindset. I struggled,
and it's very ironic. I took a pursuit playing poker for as long as
I did because my own personal spending I was tightly wound. I was incredibly
cheap. Frugal wasn't even the correct word, because I was scared of letting
money go. I would happily trade hours and hours and hours for dollars,
and I felt like I could never have enough, Which opens up another layer.
How does my relationship with money impact how worthy or deserving I feel?
I am of love of success, And if we have a very tight connection
between how much money we make and how much worth love or success we earn.
That's a really tough, lonely and dark path to traverse by yourself,
because we will never feel we have enough money. We'll hit the five the
six figure months, and we'll still not feel like that's enough to get the
love of the success or the recognition that we deeply crave on the inside,
which is really just an unmet childhood need from decades ago. Well, it's
interesting. I've been self employed since nineteen eighty six. Before that, I
spent over a decade working in radio in San Francisco, and I learned early
in my career in radio that nothing lasts. That in a heartbeat, you
know, a new boss comes in, you're gone, right, So I
never knew it's like, don't you know, you make some money here,
but don't spend it because you may be out of work in a few weeks,
right, type of thing. And then being self employed this is kind
of crazy. But as long as I've been self employed, I think there's
only been two or three years in all that time that on January first,
I knew how much money I was going to make that year. So it
was to me, gambling was waking up in the morning and living our lives
as if not in a scarcity mentality, but living in a way that it
was like this could disappear at any moment, So don't live like you how
much money you just made this past month or whatever it is, you know
you just got to Now. Luckily it's worked out because I was able to
save some money, and I'm getting older and I'm going to be able to
retire at some point, but I'm having too much fun doing this, so
this may not be my retirement. This is my retirement. So anyway,
there is that element to it, not just my upbringing but my professional life.
Absolutely, I love what you said, like every day is kind of
a gamble when you're working for yourself. I can relate incredibly deeply to that.
And really it's just a constant commitment to betting on yourself, to knowing
that you are going to find a way to solve that problem, make it
work, earn that money to pay the bills, and it's a constant bet
on yourself and a constant promise to yourself that you keep every single day of
showing up and giving all that you have which which you find, read and
see everywhere. Like, entrepreneurs and self employed individuals tend to possess a depth
of grittiness and persistence because, as you said, every day is a gamble.
They are not guaranteed a paycheck, and that can really help sharpen some
skills that are applicable and transferable to every walk of life. So true,
So let's go into that. Now we're on the golf course and there is
money on the line, and I know that front nine fact nine total and
whatever games they want to play, It's like, just tell me what I
owe you at the end of the round. How do I get past my
own I don't want to call it a disability, but how do I get
rid of my own blocks to be able to perform at my best without having
to worry about the outcome obviously, and not the outcome on the scorecard,
the outcome out of my pocket. Yeah, So that emotional hazard, that
mental hazard, if you will. Yeah, first and foremost again, we'll
start with awareness. Like awareness in and of itself is curative, It's also
its best friend is action. We know that nothing actually comes to fruition without
the action part. So if you notice, for example, and I'm gonna
speak for you, and you're gonna correct me in any step of the way,
of course. But if you notice anxiety, if you notice tightness and
tens in your body, okay, we know that's a pattern whenever money is
involved in the golf course. So off the course, away from the course,
there's a lot of work we can do to exploring many other elements in
your life in which you felt that way to help uncover and unlearn. Like
at the end of the day, that anxiety is a learned behavior around a
given situation. It's part of the pre programmed destructive mindset pattern that's running under
the surface over and over again. So we need to get to the origin
of where you learned this tension, this tightness, this anxiety around money,
and we need to go to that source directly and work to unlearn and rather
release that emotion altogether. So to give like a more tangible example here,
like I use hypnosis as one of my primary modalities with my clients, And
hypnosis is not me swinging up watch or getting you to cluck like a chicken,
despite what Hollywood and Las Vegas may portray. It is simply a state
of deep relaxation with the intention and make positive change. And we're able to
use particular emotions or physical sensations, such as anxiety in the chest as kind
of a fast track or a catalyst to take us back in time adulthood or
childhood to other moments you similarly felt this I can't breathe type of tightness in
your chest feeling, and we're able to slowly but surely get back to one
of these early, if not the most early moment in your life when you
first had let's just call it as an arbitrary example, not a you example,
a panic attack, a tightness of breath where you could not breathe,
and we're able, through a thirty thousand foot view with curiosity and safety,
just examine what was going on, what need was not met, what was
missing from your life? What resource, gift or message can we give that
younger version of you to fully rectify the situation so that the learned behavior no
longer has a purpose. And the beautiful thing about this type of work,
it has a massive ripple effect all the way up until present day, so
you begin feel increasingly more calm, comfortable in these situations. It's almost like
you develop an invisible wall of protection. Nothing phases you, which inevitably helps
you dial in the mindset and the focus that should have been there all along
on your next shot, on your current shot, I can take another break.
I want to pursue the idea of what tools to use when you're in
that situation right after this. So let's pursue that we're we're out on the
golf course. We're feeling the tightness, we're feeling the tension. What tools
can I pull out on my bag? Can I pull out of my pocket
to help me get past the moment, help me release the tension and not
worry about the two dollars, right, whatever the amount is, the twenty
dollars, one hundred dollars, whatever the amount is, just it doesn't matter.
That's not why we're here. Let's have fun with it. That's the
key. That for me is the biggest problem. I'm not having fun because
I'm worrying about the money. Yeah, now, I've got three tools to
share. I totally agree with you. So first and foremost, take a
walk, literally, whether it's before the next hole or while your buddy or
the person in your group is hitting, go walk fifteen yards away from the
golf cart, take space, get away from the immediacy of the next shot,
your foursome, the group behind you, the whole that you are playing.
And I've found that that literal physical distance helps to give you some emotional
distance and perspective from the situation. We're able to detach and see that I
came here to play golf with my good friends and have fun. I'm being
silly. I might use the word stupid if I'm talking about myself getting so
tightly wound about this. It's a couple dollars here, or it's twenty dollars,
whatever it may be, it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
So that literal physical distance can be a wonderful tool to give you space,
which helps to begin turning down the volume of your emotional brain. Number
two, I love what you said, Like, how can we get back
to the fact that I'm here to have fun and enjoy myself finding a way
to infuse laughter. There's a reason that's a cliche that goes around for centuries.
Laughter is the best medicine. How can you find humor, silliness or
laughter in this situation that you're getting so worked up over a couple of bucks,
or that you're letting something as simple and silly as this distract you from
the intention at hand, which is to have fun playing a game that you
once or hopefully still do love. And strategy number three again breath work,
finding your breath, connecting to your breath. The reason breath work is so
beneficial, and of course there's many, but in this particular moment, when
stress, tension, and anxiety or high, what's inevitably happened is our mind
has wandered to either the past or the future. It's obviously going to rob
us of hitting our fluid, smooth golf swing that we want. The breath
work literally brings you to the present moment, and in doing so, it
turns up the volume of your logical, rational mind, therefore making it easier
to see this is a game we love, I'm playing with my friends,
it's not a big deal. And it turns down the intensity, the magnitude
at which we felt those previous feelings, so that we can focus, regroup
and go on to our next shot. Thank you, those are excellent.
Uh. And you know one of the things that the new golfers and many
golfers, I mean it's not just new golfers. There's this pursuit of,
you know, perfection. I guess it's like I want to be able to
be consistent on the golf course. Well, you know what when you have
two shots that are exactly the same and you hit them right, yeah,
they may You know what are we talking about? What consistency is? And
there's nothing there's no such thing as perfect, not just in golf but anywhere.
There's just no such thing as perfect. They're getting better and that's important,
but this false sense of need to be you know, come on,
we're not on the tour. This is a game. So this pursuit of
perfection in our minds, how do we relax that and still enjoy ourselves?
Your spot on? There is definitely a dark side to chasing perfection, to
say the least. You know, consciously we think, oh, my goodness,
like to be perfect, to hit every single shot in the sweet spot
of the club, to send it directly to where we go. And that's
the funny thing about golf, Like we hit that sweet shot, the perfect
apex trajectory right where we aim, and we think, oh my goodness,
easiest game in the world. It's intoxicating. It's addictive, to say the
least. But when it comes to perfection, like first and foremost, like
logically it doesn't exist like we have to be able to step back and reframe
that situation and truly recognize that. Easier said than done, depending on your
relationship with perfection. And of course I'd be remiss if I didn't address the
emotional aspect of perfection. Those who have strong perfectionistic tendencies. These are learned
behaviors and beliefs and actions that stem from childhood needs going unmet. If you're
the oldest of your siblings. If you have multiple siblings, you are far
more prone to perfectionistic tendencies because as each sibling came along, the attention you
got from your parents was less and less and less. What did you do
to get your core needs of acceptance, belonging, connection, love, and
validation met? You started trying to be perfect. You got straight a's,
you won first place, you were the captain or all star on your team.
You learned that in order to get the tension that you so desperately craved
at a young age, you had to be perfect. That is why you
struggle even as an adult now and at this point we have to recreate a
sense of safety in making mistakes, in being less than perfect, find a
sense of falling in love with the process, not the results. How can
you reinvigorate and add a sense of play, a sense of curiosity when you're
on the putting green, when you're on the range, how can it be
playful, joyful, childlike to rob you of the or to remove the pressures
of perfectionism so it can go back to being the game you once fell in
love with. And then once you make a mistake, how do you accept
that and move on? How do you recover from that? So two things
a or one compassionate curiosity why why did the ball go left? Why did
the ball go right? Just a sense of wonder that child the light curiosity.
Two you're gonna be pre programmed with an emotional response and a slur of
bad words. Or two after that errant shot goes into the woods. So
there, I like to say, you have two options. One you have
ten seconds to feel your feelings before you snap into that next shot mentality.
Or two rather than this huge emotional explosion, it is passional and or passionate
radical acceptance. It just happened. You are not someone who can go back
in time it happened. Next shot mentality, Yeah, get over it,
Yeah, get over it. And I'll add too. Like, just like
building and maintaining muscle and strength in the gym, you've got to consciously,
constantly and intentionally practice these techniques to flex your mental muscle as well. Every
single time it gets easier and easier. But I think we can both relate
the moments or the periods of time we have lapses in doing those little things
that it's like, oh, I don't feel as good or I'm not playing
as well as I typically do because my consistency doing those little mental techniques has
been inconsistent. Once you bring back consistency, everything falls into its place.
But then we have to manage your emotions right, And there's such a wide
range of them on a golf course in any given round. What's the path
there? How can we manage the emotions to not drag them. We've talked
about various ways of this, but I think it continues on managing you know
what you're going through, recognizing, like you said, recognizing what you're going
through, but continue to manage them so they don't get in your way.
Yeah. So, first and foremost, like, what's the low hanging fruit
for you? Is it anger and frustration? Is that your biggest hazard that
derails your performance? Or conversely, a lot of people is surprisingly struggle with
over confidence and excitement where they're so excited a player, they're so confident that
they are going to absolutely crush their friends. That too, produces tension and
tightness in their body. So we want to tackle the low hanging fruit.
But the way to manage and prevent emotional accumulation throughout the round so that it
doesn't become counterproductive is I am a big proponent of routines pre shot, post
shot routine, post whole routine. Micro moments spread throughout your mound, throughout
your round. Excuse me where you can regroup, turn down that emotional dial
with a couple breaths, a quiet moment, a moment of reflection, and
those micro moments that are consistently interspersed help to temper the emotion to keep you
even keel steady, Eddy as you need to be in control, rather than
having an emotion in the driver's seat of your round. Yeah, and then
quieting all the negative self talk. Yeah, right, absolutely. So,
then then we get to the point of when we're putting pressure ourselves or we're
in a pressure situation, you know, competitively. Now now it's not just
two bucks on the line. Now, it's you know, the title that
you're looking for playing competitively and doubt inevitably shows up. But how is it
that we can perform with the confidence that we arrived at the first t to
maintain that over the four hours despite the fact that things are going to happen
that are out of your control. Once the ball leaves the face of the
club, you're done right, And so we have to find and trust that
confidence. Yes, you use a big important word there, trust And for
me, I'm sure you and the listeners are scenting a theme here. A
lot of the work is done off the course to make life easier or or
at least your path to playing your best with less friction more consistently. So
again, there's a lot of opportunity for off the coursework here to mentally prepare.
I mean, you had a recent guest who talked a lot about the
power of hypnosis visualization, really see, feel and experience what it's like in
these moments. You know, there's so many different modalities and frameworks that we
can utilize in hypnosis to give you that sense of control to turn down the
emotions, to reframe and step into those situations so that when you are putting
for the tournament on the eighteenth hole, it's like you've already been there.
However, you know, one of the traits that truly separates the best of
the best from the rest is their ability to fall in love with and ruthlessly
execute the monotonous basics over and over, regardless of how they feel. So
to bring it back to the question at hand. Here, you know,
as the you know, day four of the tournament is going on, or
making the turn to the back nine here, and the pressure is slowly increasing,
your lead is tightening, or maybe you're a tie totop the leader board,
You're going to feel so many different temptations and distractions that want to pull
you away from your routine. You know, physically speaking, there's going to
be a desire to maybe tighten up because the spotlight, the pressure, the
burden is now literally weighing down upon us. So it's learning to recognize the
temptations and triggers, the self talk patterns that are all completely unique for each
individual based on their experience and upbringing, but recognition and awareness of them allows
you to simply acknowledge and let go. You don't have to keep thinking that
thought pattern that's entered your mind. You have fifty to seventy thousand thoughts a
day, you can let some of them go. They don't all serve you.
So with that said, it's a commitment and an intentionality to the small
things, the micro routines throughout your round. That is your best asset to
keeping an even mind to play your best. And this is why I love
doing a Golf Smarter podcast versus doing instructional videos because it's that part of the
game that is not emphasized when you're watching videos they're talking about the mechanics and
that you know, being able to take that part of the game which we've
been talking about now, of helping yourself be a better golfer and not just
focused on you know, let your body do what it's going to do and
just be a smarter, better golfer that way, and you will improve your
game. This has been really fascinating, Paul, and I appreciate you helping
us substantiate what we've been talking about all along. How can people find you
online, get in touch with you and have further conversation with you about this?
Yeah, absolutely so Instagram. I hang out quite a bit at Paul
Salter Coaching. You can check out my new podcast that details my own personal
journey to becoming a scratch golfer, a Scratch Golfer's Mindset Podcast, or check
me out on Golf Mindset coaching dot com. And how long have you been
playing golf? So? I played religiously from about the ages of nine to
sixteen or seventeen, and then I didn't touch clubs but one time for fifteen
years. And here we are at just over that chapter of not touching clubs,
getting back into things once and for all. And how long you've been
at it again? It's been about a what's today? It's been almost a
month, so we are very new into it. A couple one on one
lessons under the belt, a couple rounds of nine, another one this weekend.
So why do you have a pursuit to being scratch golfer? That's a
loaded question, but I'll give my best say answer. So as I've continued,
you know, I have a strong poker background, a lot of my
clientele as poker players. As you know, fate had it. I've started
working more and more with golfers. It has really reinvigorated my passion for the
game and something that's been missing in my life the last year or two has
been an element of play, an element of competition. I am incredibly competitive,
so golf really stokes the flame of competition in play. And I think
you'll agree when we have an abundantly clear goal on the horizon, just the
ability for that goal to channel our energy, our focus, to help us
stay clear of distractions is a fast track to elevating us into the best version
of ourselves. And the fact that golf is a game that demands presence,
a mindfulness practice, emotional awareness and management, all facets of life that help
you be the best version of yourself. It's a natural marriage and trajectory that
as I continue to prepare for a lofty and vicious goal in the golf course,
I get to grow as an individual to be the best boyfriend, eventually,
the best father, you know, the best brother, son, friend,
whoever it may be. And it's a ride that I am ready for
and ready to ready to tackle well. I wish you all the luck in
the world in your pursuit of scratch perfection. But just to remind you,
it's not that easy, and it's supposed to be fun. Don't beat yourself
up, buddy. I appreciate the reminder. Well, we're not completely done
yet, because we're going to have one more section here. I'm inviting a
friend to join us to tell us about a fun little song that he wrote,
and we're going to do that in just a moment. Welcome to the
Golf Smarter podcast. John, great to be here. Thank you. So.
John and I have known each other for a long time. If regular
listeners the Golf Smarter will know that I've referred to Neil many times in this
show for well over a decade, because he even took a lesson with Tony
Manzoni when he and I were down together in the Palm Desert area. And
this is Neil's baby brother, John, and I use the term baby lightly
except I've seen him on the golf course and John, in the last few
years took up golf. Now, you were a religious basketball player. You
played every weekend. You were on the basketball court, you know, trying
to prove sometimes. Yeah, just trying to prove that you were a lot
younger than you actually were. And we all know better that John, You're
gonna hurt yourself, Dude, play golf. You'll hurt yourself there too.
Yeah. How are you feeling right now? Yeah? Right, exactly months
off. So tell me what is it that got you interested in playing golf?
I think just really, more than anything, spending time with my brother
and people like you in a in a in a beautiful place at least when
the weather's nice. And did you play as a kid. I know that
Neil played with your dad as a kid, but did you join in or
it was like very little? You know, four times a year, maybe
that would be a lot. And then over the past few years with you
and Neil a little bit more but never quite enough to brother, but not
enough to take it seriously. And then in the past year Neil brother,
Neil really got me out there a lot, and I've kind of committed to
Okay, I wanted enough enough of what I was doing before. Now let's
like commit to it and try and learn how to to really play. I
think, as you know, I never used to. I didn't hit a
driver till like a year ago. Maybe a little again, hitt an iron
off the tee, all right, and even if that goes well, it's
not that's not the game. It's not. That's not how you're supposed to
play. Well. So now I actually love hitting the driver. It's my
favorite part of the game. Oh wow when it goes straight and well,
it's just part of the game, right. So I joined to where my
brother is and I'm getting out there two or three times a week. Whoa,
and are you enjoying it? I am. It's a lot of time
to spend with your brother because I'm the youngest of three as well, and
my middle brother is also Neil, so we share that. But my brother's
a tennis player and he has no interest in golf. Also, you know,
as I'm getting older, I got to find a way to spend my
time. So it's like, okay, let's let's get into that. That'll
that'll take a lot of time. Yeah, yeah, And it's a good
walk spoiled, yes, as you say in the song, which well here
in a minute, and that's why we're here. So what was your musical
journey? How did you get to the point where you're now writing songs as
well? I picked up a ukulele, like seven years ago out of the
clear Blue, looked on a website how to play beginner ukulele, started playing
Friend of the Devil, and like from that day forward, I was playing
the ukulele every day, an hour a day, and then like a couple
of years ago, start changing the guitar. And then I actually found writing
songs was how I learned best, you know, learning certain things like one
four five, kind of basic structure of writing a song. And I like
writing, so it just it was a it was a good mashup of things
that I like to do, written a bunch of songs. I've got a
YouTube channel and I don't know what possessed me to write a song about golf,
but you did, but I did, and I and I want to
say thank you for including me in your video. There's photos of me in
there and a little bit of video when we were up at Bandon Dunes last
year. So when we went to Bandon Dunes, and I've talked about this
trip, I went with John and Neil and Joel, the three brothers,
and your nephew, Neil's son, and we each you know, each person
got to pick somebody to bring. So we had two foursomes and Neil chose
me and so or did you pick no? And so we went up to
Band and Duns and had a phenomenal time. And then you come home and
now you've written a song about golf, and I'm including it and thank you
for doing that. So tell me what motivated a golf song which is called
golf song. I had had other names, but I thought, you know,
just cut to the chase and maybe it'll get more more hits. Well,
yeah, it's it's really it's really clickbait that says golf song. Tee
it up again. Here you go. Actually I was going to call it
a good long, a good walk spoiled, but I figured you know that,
I think that's been used a couple of times. A couple of times.
Well, anyway, thank you for writing this song. It was fun.
So let's hear it. Okay, thanks for coming on, John,
thank you, and let's let's play. Let's play soon we'll do Okay.
Here is a golf song by John Polchek. Crush my driving off the d
h the second straight. It ain't true, got a thirty yard chip,
but then well that song and I can't do hit the flax, they get
back the shades, takes a nasty bounce or two off the fat down the
soap scraash. It's a good walk, boy, that's the tree thing man.
I'll meet you here tomorrow. We'll beat it all again. It's a
good walk. Spoil Mark Twein said way back when I'll meet you here tomorrow.
Rope. If you get up again staring down a birdie, but turn
up your feed, you away. I get the gipsy and leave it short.
Well, let's be that kind of okay, it's so cage. Just
save your part to myself and praying from three feet it's looking good. Then
it is out. Fuck no way, it's a good walk. Spoil.
My frustration knows no end. I'll meet you here tomorrow. If you do
read all again, it's a good walk, spoiled eye. Set a shot
one hundred and ten. I'll meet you here tomorrow. We'll lead up again.
Now, I'll keep your head still, follow through. Let the club
do all the work. Slow your swing, turn your bits, stop playing
like a jerk, change your grip, adjust your stance. Try this club
instead. I gotta try in silence all the voices in my head it's been
a challenging around you day. Kind of happy that we're all most Just a
short Part three awaits us in the setting summer sun, where I hit a
perfect seven nron straight at the cup, runs inches away from glory. You
over steal my hole in one, bastard. It's a good walk, spoil
Bee sitting alone in my den. I'll meet you here tomorrow. Do you
with all again? It's a good walk store that starts here with friends.
I'll meet you here tomorrow. It up again, said, I'll meet you
here tomorrow. It up again and again and again and again. And by
the way, if you've composed your own song about golf, I'd love to
hear it. Okay, we've passed the registration deadline for our first of many
golf adventures together, so it's time to announce the next one. As we
hope to do for the foreseeable future, golf Smarter and TMI golf dot Com
are joining for horses so that twice each year you and I can check off
some of the most interesting and fun golf outings from our bucket lists. And
this one is going to be unique as we're hosting a group of golfers and
non golfers for a nine day adventure to Portugal. This trip includes three rounds
of golf, walking tours, wine tasting, and a boat trip. I
say we because this is a couple's excursion. While we're playing golf, My
wife Joanne, who is a non golfer, will be leading the way with
partners and spouses to explore the beauty of Villemura, one of the finest beach
and marina complexes of the central Algarve. Non golfers will experience optional spa visits,
sightseeing and shopportunities. If you'd prefer, you can play golf every day.
The trip will take place September fifth through the thirteenth of twenty twenty four.
That's September five through thirteen, twenty twenty four. Now. To get
all the information pricing and download the detailed pdf, please visit tmigolf dot com,
slash golf Smarter, TMI golf dot com, slash golf Smarter and if
you have any questions, please write to me directly. I want to thank
this week's Golf Smarter Ambassador, Matt Hubbell from Lynden, Washington, for introducing
episode nine hundred and forty six and since we've been playing Tony Manzoni's episodes each
Friday for the last couple months, we've had a lot of requests for Tony's
video from our latest ambassadors. We've got four episodes left with Tony to complete
his catalog, and here's what we're going to do for the month of May
twenty twenty four. If you request to do an episode intro, you'll receive
all three of our free gifts instead of choosing just one that includes a private
link to Tony's video, the Loss Fundamental, a glove and glove storage compartment
from Red roostergolf dot com, the best online glove subscription service, and a
box of premium Flightpath goolf teas a te above all. This offer is for
US residents only, but if you live outside the US, you still get
Tony's video for free when you request to become a Golf Smarter Ambassador by doing
an upcoming episode intro. If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions
for upcoming guests or topics, or need more information and want to discuss our
September Portugal adventure, please write to Golf Smarter Podcast at gmail dot com or
click on the Heyfred button when you visit golfsmarter dot com