1 00:00:03,439 --> 00:00:09,880 Those who have strong perfectionistic tendencies. These are learned behaviors and beliefs and actions 2 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:14,679 that stem from childhood needs going unmet. If you're the oldest of your siblings, 3 00:00:14,759 --> 00:00:19,280 if you have multiple siblings, you are far more prone to perfectionistic tendencies 4 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:23,719 because as each sibling came along, the attention you got from your parents was 5 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:27,480 less and less and less. What did you do to get your core needs 6 00:00:27,519 --> 00:00:31,960 of acceptance, belonging, connection, love, and validation met. You started 7 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,240 trying to be perfect. You got straight a's, you won first place, 8 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:39,000 you were the captain or All star on your team. You learned that in 9 00:00:39,119 --> 00:00:42,759 order to get the attention that you so desperately craved at a young age, 10 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:46,719 you had to be perfect. That is why you struggle even as an adult. 11 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:52,200 And at this point we have to recreate a sense of safety in making 12 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:58,079 mistakes, in being less than perfect, find a sense of falling in love 13 00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:03,319 with the process. Hi, this is Matt Subble from Lynden Washington and I 14 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:11,359 play at Raspberry Ridge Golf Course. This is Golf Smarter number ninety six Strategies 15 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:15,519 for overcoming the push for perfection on the golf course with Paul Salter and introducing 16 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:22,359 the Golf Song. This is Golf Smarter, sharing stories, tips and insights 17 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:26,159 from great golf minds to help you lower your score and raise your golf IQ. 18 00:01:27,079 --> 00:01:32,359 There's your host, Fred Green. Welcome to the Golf Smarter Podcast. 19 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:36,079 Paul, Hello, Fred, Thank you for having me. Thanks so much 20 00:01:36,079 --> 00:01:38,599 for joining us today. Because this is the kind of stuff that I always 21 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:44,480 like to get deep into because I'm not going to just focus on mechanics, 22 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:49,519 which I know people love, but there's the difference between swing Like I played 23 00:01:49,599 --> 00:01:55,480 yesterday with these guys and I'm like, they're just swinging their club, they're 24 00:01:55,480 --> 00:02:00,959 not playing golf, and there's such a difference there. I think that they're 25 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:04,760 so focused on the mechanics of hitting a golf ball, which they didn't do 26 00:02:04,879 --> 00:02:12,080 well, but golf ball And one of the things that you know, doctor 27 00:02:12,159 --> 00:02:15,120 Joe Parrot has said for years and years and years is being episode number one 28 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:20,159 on the show, was I help people get out of their own way. 29 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,759 And that's something that you have been working on as well. And that's what 30 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:32,400 I want to start with on what that actually means absolutely so the way I 31 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:38,080 like to phrase it is I help golfers overcome the emotional and mental hazards of 32 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:43,680 their mind to get them out of the proverbial bunkers keeping them stuck in a 33 00:02:43,719 --> 00:02:47,479 state of poor performance. And you and I both know relatably, and you 34 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:53,680 know speaking to other golfers that the moment we are triggered by an errand shot, 35 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:59,919 making a mistake, misreading a green, it's almost as if an uncon 36 00:03:00,039 --> 00:03:06,520 conscious automatic pattern triggers an emotional cascade of nasty, defeating, self talking, 37 00:03:07,319 --> 00:03:13,360 limiting beliefs, defeeding stories, and sabotaging behaviors that can send a seemingly great 38 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:17,120 round quickly down the gutter in a matter of milliseconds. And it is my 39 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:22,120 job to work with golfers and the other high performers I work with to help 40 00:03:22,159 --> 00:03:27,159 them uncover what I like to call the destructive mindset programs that are keeping them 41 00:03:27,199 --> 00:03:34,240 stuck, whether in a play or pattern of mediocrity, h mental hazards. 42 00:03:34,759 --> 00:03:37,879 What a great way to you know, we have to deal with so many 43 00:03:37,919 --> 00:03:40,800 different hazards on the terrain, but there's the one that you carry in your 44 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:46,120 bag, in your back pocket, in your head, right that we always 45 00:03:46,199 --> 00:03:50,759 have to deal with. Well, where do we start with that? You 46 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:54,840 know you're right many there's so many different triggers on the golf course, but 47 00:03:54,919 --> 00:04:00,360 we need to try to overcome. And the beautiful thing here is mentioned in 48 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,439 the beginning, like so many of us are guilty of overly fixating on crafting 49 00:04:03,479 --> 00:04:08,319 the perfect swing. And it starts with you know, you're so familiar with 50 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:12,680 doctor Joe parent there and he really talks about just this level of awareness and 51 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,639 feeling into the swing first, to allow your subconscious to kind of guide you 52 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:19,160 to what's tight, what's off, what feels a little different. The same 53 00:04:19,199 --> 00:04:24,360 approach can be taken to really assessing your mental game as you're starting to bring 54 00:04:24,439 --> 00:04:29,079 more awareness as you show up on the course the moment you hit an errant 55 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:33,240 shot or you find yourself in a difficult, unexpected lie, begin to take 56 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:39,199 an inventory from that thirty thousand foot view with a lens of compassionate curiosity, 57 00:04:39,399 --> 00:04:42,720 What am I feeling right now? Why is their tightness in my chest? 58 00:04:42,759 --> 00:04:46,720 Why is there butterflies in my stomach or heaviness on my shoulders? And we 59 00:04:46,759 --> 00:04:51,040 can begin to connect the dots and really observe a pattern of emotion, physical 60 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:57,360 sensation that after the round is over, we don't need analysis during the round, 61 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,680 but after the round is over we can say, okay, I felt 62 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:04,160 incredibly rushed and anxious because the force in behind me was on my tail the 63 00:05:04,399 --> 00:05:10,439 entire time. That anxiety and urgency translated to tightness, I kept slicing my 64 00:05:11,199 --> 00:05:14,879 shot off the tea box. And we can start to gain awareness of what 65 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:18,560 anxiety looks and feels like in our body, connected to how it disrupts our 66 00:05:18,639 --> 00:05:25,000 natural flow and fluid swing. And then off the course, we can start 67 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:30,279 incorporating either you know, some short term impromptu strategies to control the breath and 68 00:05:30,319 --> 00:05:32,680 the emotion, or do a little digger. I'm a little biased. I 69 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:38,319 love hypnosis to get to the root calls of some of these issues so that 70 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:44,759 we can release these big emotional blocks that keep us from playing our best dig 71 00:05:44,759 --> 00:05:47,199 into the strategy's part as let's do that. Yeah, So I mean, 72 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,519 I love myself as an example, I'm the best getting pig here. So 73 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:55,360 I remember, just last week, I'm playing golf with one of my best 74 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,000 friends. We haven't seen each other in a couple months. We're catching up 75 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:00,839 and albeit my golf journey, as you know, we may or may not 76 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:04,279 get to it and then I'm starting fresh after fifteen years again really going all 77 00:06:04,319 --> 00:06:09,040 in on golf. But with that said, I noticed right away, literally 78 00:06:09,079 --> 00:06:13,319 the foursome was on our tail from the beginning. They're riding, They're too 79 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:17,240 close for comfort on the tea box, and I had the proverbial tightness in 80 00:06:17,319 --> 00:06:23,120 my chest. I felt the tension in my swing and blow and behold, 81 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:27,519 I was struggling off the tea box. It makes perfect sense. So the 82 00:06:27,519 --> 00:06:31,800 best way to begin lowering that emotional volume to relieving the tension that I have 83 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:38,240 found is through a variety of different breathwork practices, and one of my favorite 84 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:43,600 that I like to coach on and do personally is called a rapid reset breath. 85 00:06:43,639 --> 00:06:46,399 And the way that I implement that I'm sure everyone has their own variations 86 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:54,800 is I like to do two quick and sharp inhales through the nose followed by 87 00:06:54,959 --> 00:07:00,480 one loud, audible exhale. So and I'll do three, three to five 88 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,319 rounds of that just to lower the emotional volume of my brain and body, 89 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:08,360 which I find allows that tension to kind of dissipate back into the ether and 90 00:07:08,399 --> 00:07:13,720 I can reconnect with the present moment. Well, that's awesome and it's the 91 00:07:13,839 --> 00:07:16,120 kind of thing. Then if you're doing that, you're walking down the chorus, 92 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:23,800 hopefully not in the cart with somebody going it's like, are you okay, 93 00:07:23,879 --> 00:07:27,600 dude, what's going on? I'm just trying to lose the last shot 94 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,560 out of my head, right, And but basically that's what you'd want to 95 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,519 do, is just get away from that. You know, Tiger always talked 96 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:36,680 about just counting to ten, right, just counting to ten, just let 97 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:41,959 and then let it go and focus on what's next. Yeah, so hard 98 00:07:41,959 --> 00:07:46,279 to do, especially after a three part and it especially Yeah, I hear 99 00:07:46,319 --> 00:07:48,759 you, that's that next shot mentality. What can you do? And there's 100 00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:53,839 a variety of strategies, but whatever works for you as an individual needs to 101 00:07:53,879 --> 00:07:58,399 be a priority after every shot to redirect your focus to what you have in 102 00:07:58,439 --> 00:08:01,639 front of you, because that is the only shot that matters in The most 103 00:08:01,639 --> 00:08:05,879 important shot of the round is the next shot. It's also the hardest, 104 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:13,439 agreed, The hardest shot in golf is the next one. Yeah. You've 105 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:18,399 worked with a lot of people in various capacities, but a lot of golfers, 106 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,879 a lot of professional athletes. And one of the things that you listened 107 00:08:20,879 --> 00:08:24,639 in the bio that you sent me, and I'm left turn here. But 108 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:30,959 I was just fascinated professional poker players. I had a hunch you were going 109 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:35,080 there. So I'm not a poker player, but that's fascinating to me. 110 00:08:35,759 --> 00:08:39,840 They get in their own way as well. Oh absolutely, So I have 111 00:08:39,879 --> 00:08:43,159 a detour that kind of runs parallel and off course with my own coaching career. 112 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,960 And then I pursued poker professionally for a couple of years. Oh wow. 113 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:52,159 So I started to recognize despite all of the studying, despite having a 114 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:56,960 coach to help me with the technical aspects of the game, I was my 115 00:08:56,039 --> 00:09:00,720 biggest enemy. The more money I played for, the bigger buy ins and 116 00:09:00,799 --> 00:09:05,320 stakes, the more I found myself in a position of knowing exactly what to 117 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:09,879 do mathematically logically, but I couldn't pull the trigger. There was a collection 118 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:16,200 of fear, passivity, scarcity around money and self worth that were making themselves 119 00:09:16,279 --> 00:09:20,559 known under the hood, which, regardless of how little or how much you 120 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,399 know about poker, let me tell you, that is a fast track to 121 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:28,600 losing a lot of money really quickly. So I hired my first mindset coach 122 00:09:28,639 --> 00:09:33,440 at that time, who did wonders in helping me unstuck myself not only on 123 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,879 the poker table, but in various aspects of my life, because just like 124 00:09:35,919 --> 00:09:41,559 in golf, we find on the poker table, like emotional awareness, management 125 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:46,799 and regulation is crucial so that you can find the sweet spot, find your 126 00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:50,759 flow state, and play, you know, effortlessly, with the utmost presence 127 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:56,279 in every decision you make. Wow. Uh, I want to pursue that 128 00:09:56,360 --> 00:10:01,600 on a personal level, not the poker part, but the gambling party. 129 00:10:01,919 --> 00:10:11,120 And I'm gonna do that when we come back right after this. I've talked 130 00:10:11,159 --> 00:10:15,320 about this a lot on the podcast that I'm not one to gamble. I 131 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:18,440 know that golf was designed as a gambling game. I mean, flat out 132 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:24,159 that's what it is. But it's not. That's not fun for me, 133 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:30,399 and I think it's probably ninety nine percent it's a mental thing. It's just 134 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,919 that I'm just like, I freak out, I tense up, I choke, 135 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:37,200 and it's like, because there's a there's a dollar on the line, 136 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,399 Oh my god, you know, I don't you know, I know what 137 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:43,200 it is. Maybe it's my up and greaming up up, up bringing. 138 00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:52,919 See I can't even say it without getting but it's It's something that I think 139 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,399 prevents me from playing with a lot more people because they're like, well, 140 00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:00,440 he's no fun because he doesn't want to he doesn't want to do what's all 141 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:05,559 about. Yeah, you're not alone there. We all carry our own collection 142 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:09,240 of money related beliefs, fears, and stories. And I'm a prime example, 143 00:11:09,639 --> 00:11:13,399 you know. And you're spot on too. Our upbringing, specifically during 144 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:18,840 a time where we're so impressionable and malleable, those first seven years of our 145 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,759 life in particular, and I can tell you, you know, growing up 146 00:11:20,799 --> 00:11:26,279 as the oldest of four, the more and more children and siblings that ultimately 147 00:11:26,279 --> 00:11:30,840 accumulated, the less and less money there was to go around. You throw 148 00:11:30,919 --> 00:11:35,240 in a recession, you throw in a mom who undulates between being a stay 149 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,960 at home mom working part time in full time. There's only so much money 150 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,679 to go around. And when we're so young, you know, we're not 151 00:11:41,799 --> 00:11:46,600 consciously aware of the conversations our parents are having around money, particularly again those 152 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:52,519 zero to seven years, but unconsciously we're incredibly aware of every word, the 153 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:58,840 tonality, the voice, the body language, every element of the discussion around 154 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,440 money. We are just absorbing. And you know, there's a cool concept 155 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,840 out there. I can't take credit for I heard it first from Ed Milett 156 00:12:05,879 --> 00:12:11,919 on one of his podcasts episodes called your Emotional Home and whatever emotions that were 157 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:16,320 most predominant in your house, And if we talk about money, if it 158 00:12:16,399 --> 00:12:20,480 was scarcity and lack, those are what you carry with you into adulthood, 159 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:28,879 and your subconscious will deploy a series of sabotaging behaviors and patterns to keep you 160 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:33,559 rather to fulfill your need to get this fix of whatever emotion is in that 161 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:37,600 foundational emotional home of yours. So for someone like me, I can speak 162 00:12:37,639 --> 00:12:43,039 from personal example. I grew up with that scarcity mindset. I struggled, 163 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,399 and it's very ironic. I took a pursuit playing poker for as long as 164 00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:52,759 I did because my own personal spending I was tightly wound. I was incredibly 165 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:56,320 cheap. Frugal wasn't even the correct word, because I was scared of letting 166 00:12:56,360 --> 00:13:01,559 money go. I would happily trade hours and hours and hours for dollars, 167 00:13:01,639 --> 00:13:05,840 and I felt like I could never have enough, Which opens up another layer. 168 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:09,559 How does my relationship with money impact how worthy or deserving I feel? 169 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:16,240 I am of love of success, And if we have a very tight connection 170 00:13:16,399 --> 00:13:20,399 between how much money we make and how much worth love or success we earn. 171 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:26,559 That's a really tough, lonely and dark path to traverse by yourself, 172 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:31,120 because we will never feel we have enough money. We'll hit the five the 173 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:35,879 six figure months, and we'll still not feel like that's enough to get the 174 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:41,559 love of the success or the recognition that we deeply crave on the inside, 175 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:48,279 which is really just an unmet childhood need from decades ago. Well, it's 176 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:52,879 interesting. I've been self employed since nineteen eighty six. Before that, I 177 00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:58,480 spent over a decade working in radio in San Francisco, and I learned early 178 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:05,159 in my career in radio that nothing lasts. That in a heartbeat, you 179 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:09,320 know, a new boss comes in, you're gone, right, So I 180 00:14:09,399 --> 00:14:13,919 never knew it's like, don't you know, you make some money here, 181 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,000 but don't spend it because you may be out of work in a few weeks, 182 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:20,159 right, type of thing. And then being self employed this is kind 183 00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:24,000 of crazy. But as long as I've been self employed, I think there's 184 00:14:24,039 --> 00:14:31,399 only been two or three years in all that time that on January first, 185 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:35,519 I knew how much money I was going to make that year. So it 186 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:41,519 was to me, gambling was waking up in the morning and living our lives 187 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:48,840 as if not in a scarcity mentality, but living in a way that it 188 00:14:48,919 --> 00:14:54,720 was like this could disappear at any moment, So don't live like you how 189 00:14:54,799 --> 00:14:58,080 much money you just made this past month or whatever it is, you know 190 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:03,039 you just got to Now. Luckily it's worked out because I was able to 191 00:15:03,039 --> 00:15:05,559 save some money, and I'm getting older and I'm going to be able to 192 00:15:05,559 --> 00:15:09,679 retire at some point, but I'm having too much fun doing this, so 193 00:15:09,799 --> 00:15:13,320 this may not be my retirement. This is my retirement. So anyway, 194 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:20,159 there is that element to it, not just my upbringing but my professional life. 195 00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:22,720 Absolutely, I love what you said, like every day is kind of 196 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:26,399 a gamble when you're working for yourself. I can relate incredibly deeply to that. 197 00:15:26,639 --> 00:15:31,399 And really it's just a constant commitment to betting on yourself, to knowing 198 00:15:31,799 --> 00:15:35,960 that you are going to find a way to solve that problem, make it 199 00:15:37,039 --> 00:15:39,080 work, earn that money to pay the bills, and it's a constant bet 200 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:43,879 on yourself and a constant promise to yourself that you keep every single day of 201 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,679 showing up and giving all that you have which which you find, read and 202 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:54,279 see everywhere. Like, entrepreneurs and self employed individuals tend to possess a depth 203 00:15:54,320 --> 00:16:00,000 of grittiness and persistence because, as you said, every day is a gamble. 204 00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:03,559 They are not guaranteed a paycheck, and that can really help sharpen some 205 00:16:03,679 --> 00:16:11,000 skills that are applicable and transferable to every walk of life. So true, 206 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:15,840 So let's go into that. Now we're on the golf course and there is 207 00:16:15,919 --> 00:16:18,799 money on the line, and I know that front nine fact nine total and 208 00:16:18,919 --> 00:16:22,200 whatever games they want to play, It's like, just tell me what I 209 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,600 owe you at the end of the round. How do I get past my 210 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:32,200 own I don't want to call it a disability, but how do I get 211 00:16:32,279 --> 00:16:37,679 rid of my own blocks to be able to perform at my best without having 212 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:41,639 to worry about the outcome obviously, and not the outcome on the scorecard, 213 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:45,879 the outcome out of my pocket. Yeah, So that emotional hazard, that 214 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,600 mental hazard, if you will. Yeah, first and foremost again, we'll 215 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:52,960 start with awareness. Like awareness in and of itself is curative, It's also 216 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:57,279 its best friend is action. We know that nothing actually comes to fruition without 217 00:16:57,279 --> 00:17:00,840 the action part. So if you notice, for example, and I'm gonna 218 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,279 speak for you, and you're gonna correct me in any step of the way, 219 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:07,640 of course. But if you notice anxiety, if you notice tightness and 220 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:11,839 tens in your body, okay, we know that's a pattern whenever money is 221 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:15,880 involved in the golf course. So off the course, away from the course, 222 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:21,119 there's a lot of work we can do to exploring many other elements in 223 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:26,240 your life in which you felt that way to help uncover and unlearn. Like 224 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,920 at the end of the day, that anxiety is a learned behavior around a 225 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:34,319 given situation. It's part of the pre programmed destructive mindset pattern that's running under 226 00:17:34,599 --> 00:17:38,759 the surface over and over again. So we need to get to the origin 227 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:44,160 of where you learned this tension, this tightness, this anxiety around money, 228 00:17:44,319 --> 00:17:48,839 and we need to go to that source directly and work to unlearn and rather 229 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:52,920 release that emotion altogether. So to give like a more tangible example here, 230 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:56,759 like I use hypnosis as one of my primary modalities with my clients, And 231 00:17:57,079 --> 00:18:02,119 hypnosis is not me swinging up watch or getting you to cluck like a chicken, 232 00:18:02,319 --> 00:18:06,000 despite what Hollywood and Las Vegas may portray. It is simply a state 233 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:10,160 of deep relaxation with the intention and make positive change. And we're able to 234 00:18:10,519 --> 00:18:17,640 use particular emotions or physical sensations, such as anxiety in the chest as kind 235 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:22,759 of a fast track or a catalyst to take us back in time adulthood or 236 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:29,680 childhood to other moments you similarly felt this I can't breathe type of tightness in 237 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:33,200 your chest feeling, and we're able to slowly but surely get back to one 238 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:37,319 of these early, if not the most early moment in your life when you 239 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:41,440 first had let's just call it as an arbitrary example, not a you example, 240 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:45,039 a panic attack, a tightness of breath where you could not breathe, 241 00:18:45,519 --> 00:18:49,200 and we're able, through a thirty thousand foot view with curiosity and safety, 242 00:18:49,319 --> 00:18:53,160 just examine what was going on, what need was not met, what was 243 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,920 missing from your life? What resource, gift or message can we give that 244 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:03,720 younger version of you to fully rectify the situation so that the learned behavior no 245 00:19:03,799 --> 00:19:07,000 longer has a purpose. And the beautiful thing about this type of work, 246 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:10,920 it has a massive ripple effect all the way up until present day, so 247 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:17,400 you begin feel increasingly more calm, comfortable in these situations. It's almost like 248 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:22,839 you develop an invisible wall of protection. Nothing phases you, which inevitably helps 249 00:19:22,839 --> 00:19:26,480 you dial in the mindset and the focus that should have been there all along 250 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:32,519 on your next shot, on your current shot, I can take another break. 251 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:37,119 I want to pursue the idea of what tools to use when you're in 252 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:48,279 that situation right after this. So let's pursue that we're we're out on the 253 00:19:48,279 --> 00:19:51,319 golf course. We're feeling the tightness, we're feeling the tension. What tools 254 00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:53,039 can I pull out on my bag? Can I pull out of my pocket 255 00:19:53,640 --> 00:20:00,599 to help me get past the moment, help me release the tension and not 256 00:20:00,759 --> 00:20:04,599 worry about the two dollars, right, whatever the amount is, the twenty 257 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:11,039 dollars, one hundred dollars, whatever the amount is, just it doesn't matter. 258 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,680 That's not why we're here. Let's have fun with it. That's the 259 00:20:15,759 --> 00:20:21,960 key. That for me is the biggest problem. I'm not having fun because 260 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:26,119 I'm worrying about the money. Yeah, now, I've got three tools to 261 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:29,359 share. I totally agree with you. So first and foremost, take a 262 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,880 walk, literally, whether it's before the next hole or while your buddy or 263 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:36,240 the person in your group is hitting, go walk fifteen yards away from the 264 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:41,039 golf cart, take space, get away from the immediacy of the next shot, 265 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:44,200 your foursome, the group behind you, the whole that you are playing. 266 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:49,720 And I've found that that literal physical distance helps to give you some emotional 267 00:20:49,799 --> 00:20:55,920 distance and perspective from the situation. We're able to detach and see that I 268 00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:00,400 came here to play golf with my good friends and have fun. I'm being 269 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:04,160 silly. I might use the word stupid if I'm talking about myself getting so 270 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:08,200 tightly wound about this. It's a couple dollars here, or it's twenty dollars, 271 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:12,680 whatever it may be, it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. 272 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:18,559 So that literal physical distance can be a wonderful tool to give you space, 273 00:21:18,839 --> 00:21:22,519 which helps to begin turning down the volume of your emotional brain. Number 274 00:21:22,519 --> 00:21:23,680 two, I love what you said, Like, how can we get back 275 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:27,119 to the fact that I'm here to have fun and enjoy myself finding a way 276 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:32,160 to infuse laughter. There's a reason that's a cliche that goes around for centuries. 277 00:21:32,279 --> 00:21:34,880 Laughter is the best medicine. How can you find humor, silliness or 278 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:40,039 laughter in this situation that you're getting so worked up over a couple of bucks, 279 00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:44,200 or that you're letting something as simple and silly as this distract you from 280 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:48,160 the intention at hand, which is to have fun playing a game that you 281 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:53,359 once or hopefully still do love. And strategy number three again breath work, 282 00:21:53,559 --> 00:21:56,880 finding your breath, connecting to your breath. The reason breath work is so 283 00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:00,200 beneficial, and of course there's many, but in this particular moment, when 284 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:04,640 stress, tension, and anxiety or high, what's inevitably happened is our mind 285 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:08,960 has wandered to either the past or the future. It's obviously going to rob 286 00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:12,440 us of hitting our fluid, smooth golf swing that we want. The breath 287 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:18,039 work literally brings you to the present moment, and in doing so, it 288 00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:23,160 turns up the volume of your logical, rational mind, therefore making it easier 289 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,880 to see this is a game we love, I'm playing with my friends, 290 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,359 it's not a big deal. And it turns down the intensity, the magnitude 291 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:34,720 at which we felt those previous feelings, so that we can focus, regroup 292 00:22:34,799 --> 00:22:40,720 and go on to our next shot. Thank you, those are excellent. 293 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:48,640 Uh. And you know one of the things that the new golfers and many 294 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:52,599 golfers, I mean it's not just new golfers. There's this pursuit of, 295 00:22:55,799 --> 00:22:59,279 you know, perfection. I guess it's like I want to be able to 296 00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,480 be consistent on the golf course. Well, you know what when you have 297 00:23:02,519 --> 00:23:04,880 two shots that are exactly the same and you hit them right, yeah, 298 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,960 they may You know what are we talking about? What consistency is? And 299 00:23:10,799 --> 00:23:15,000 there's nothing there's no such thing as perfect, not just in golf but anywhere. 300 00:23:15,039 --> 00:23:19,200 There's just no such thing as perfect. They're getting better and that's important, 301 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:26,440 but this false sense of need to be you know, come on, 302 00:23:26,559 --> 00:23:30,720 we're not on the tour. This is a game. So this pursuit of 303 00:23:30,839 --> 00:23:37,599 perfection in our minds, how do we relax that and still enjoy ourselves? 304 00:23:37,599 --> 00:23:42,680 Your spot on? There is definitely a dark side to chasing perfection, to 305 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:47,640 say the least. You know, consciously we think, oh, my goodness, 306 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:51,160 like to be perfect, to hit every single shot in the sweet spot 307 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:52,559 of the club, to send it directly to where we go. And that's 308 00:23:52,559 --> 00:23:56,880 the funny thing about golf, Like we hit that sweet shot, the perfect 309 00:23:56,920 --> 00:24:00,559 apex trajectory right where we aim, and we think, oh my goodness, 310 00:24:00,599 --> 00:24:03,839 easiest game in the world. It's intoxicating. It's addictive, to say the 311 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:07,640 least. But when it comes to perfection, like first and foremost, like 312 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:11,960 logically it doesn't exist like we have to be able to step back and reframe 313 00:24:11,039 --> 00:24:17,200 that situation and truly recognize that. Easier said than done, depending on your 314 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:21,319 relationship with perfection. And of course I'd be remiss if I didn't address the 315 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:26,960 emotional aspect of perfection. Those who have strong perfectionistic tendencies. These are learned 316 00:24:27,039 --> 00:24:33,240 behaviors and beliefs and actions that stem from childhood needs going unmet. If you're 317 00:24:33,279 --> 00:24:37,279 the oldest of your siblings. If you have multiple siblings, you are far 318 00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:41,640 more prone to perfectionistic tendencies because as each sibling came along, the attention you 319 00:24:41,759 --> 00:24:45,440 got from your parents was less and less and less. What did you do 320 00:24:45,559 --> 00:24:49,279 to get your core needs of acceptance, belonging, connection, love, and 321 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:53,279 validation met? You started trying to be perfect. You got straight a's, 322 00:24:53,319 --> 00:24:56,640 you won first place, you were the captain or all star on your team. 323 00:24:57,039 --> 00:25:02,000 You learned that in order to get the tension that you so desperately craved 324 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,400 at a young age, you had to be perfect. That is why you 325 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:11,119 struggle even as an adult now and at this point we have to recreate a 326 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:17,880 sense of safety in making mistakes, in being less than perfect, find a 327 00:25:18,079 --> 00:25:22,839 sense of falling in love with the process, not the results. How can 328 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:27,640 you reinvigorate and add a sense of play, a sense of curiosity when you're 329 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:32,000 on the putting green, when you're on the range, how can it be 330 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:37,279 playful, joyful, childlike to rob you of the or to remove the pressures 331 00:25:37,279 --> 00:25:41,039 of perfectionism so it can go back to being the game you once fell in 332 00:25:41,079 --> 00:25:47,839 love with. And then once you make a mistake, how do you accept 333 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,799 that and move on? How do you recover from that? So two things 334 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:56,400 a or one compassionate curiosity why why did the ball go left? Why did 335 00:25:56,440 --> 00:26:00,200 the ball go right? Just a sense of wonder that child the light curiosity. 336 00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:07,359 Two you're gonna be pre programmed with an emotional response and a slur of 337 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:10,799 bad words. Or two after that errant shot goes into the woods. So 338 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,720 there, I like to say, you have two options. One you have 339 00:26:12,799 --> 00:26:18,559 ten seconds to feel your feelings before you snap into that next shot mentality. 340 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:26,200 Or two rather than this huge emotional explosion, it is passional and or passionate 341 00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:32,359 radical acceptance. It just happened. You are not someone who can go back 342 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:36,480 in time it happened. Next shot mentality, Yeah, get over it, 343 00:26:36,559 --> 00:26:41,519 Yeah, get over it. And I'll add too. Like, just like 344 00:26:41,759 --> 00:26:47,400 building and maintaining muscle and strength in the gym, you've got to consciously, 345 00:26:47,519 --> 00:26:52,640 constantly and intentionally practice these techniques to flex your mental muscle as well. Every 346 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:56,200 single time it gets easier and easier. But I think we can both relate 347 00:26:56,279 --> 00:27:00,039 the moments or the periods of time we have lapses in doing those little things 348 00:27:00,079 --> 00:27:03,640 that it's like, oh, I don't feel as good or I'm not playing 349 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:07,759 as well as I typically do because my consistency doing those little mental techniques has 350 00:27:07,839 --> 00:27:12,559 been inconsistent. Once you bring back consistency, everything falls into its place. 351 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:21,079 But then we have to manage your emotions right, And there's such a wide 352 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:26,880 range of them on a golf course in any given round. What's the path 353 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:33,160 there? How can we manage the emotions to not drag them. We've talked 354 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:38,519 about various ways of this, but I think it continues on managing you know 355 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:44,039 what you're going through, recognizing, like you said, recognizing what you're going 356 00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:48,160 through, but continue to manage them so they don't get in your way. 357 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,480 Yeah. So, first and foremost, like, what's the low hanging fruit 358 00:27:51,559 --> 00:27:56,079 for you? Is it anger and frustration? Is that your biggest hazard that 359 00:27:56,160 --> 00:28:00,559 derails your performance? Or conversely, a lot of people is surprisingly struggle with 360 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:04,839 over confidence and excitement where they're so excited a player, they're so confident that 361 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,640 they are going to absolutely crush their friends. That too, produces tension and 362 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,200 tightness in their body. So we want to tackle the low hanging fruit. 363 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:18,720 But the way to manage and prevent emotional accumulation throughout the round so that it 364 00:28:18,759 --> 00:28:23,000 doesn't become counterproductive is I am a big proponent of routines pre shot, post 365 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:30,319 shot routine, post whole routine. Micro moments spread throughout your mound, throughout 366 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,559 your round. Excuse me where you can regroup, turn down that emotional dial 367 00:28:33,599 --> 00:28:37,039 with a couple breaths, a quiet moment, a moment of reflection, and 368 00:28:37,079 --> 00:28:42,240 those micro moments that are consistently interspersed help to temper the emotion to keep you 369 00:28:42,319 --> 00:28:47,319 even keel steady, Eddy as you need to be in control, rather than 370 00:28:47,359 --> 00:28:52,119 having an emotion in the driver's seat of your round. Yeah, and then 371 00:28:52,240 --> 00:29:00,039 quieting all the negative self talk. Yeah, right, absolutely. So, 372 00:29:00,119 --> 00:29:04,839 then then we get to the point of when we're putting pressure ourselves or we're 373 00:29:04,839 --> 00:29:11,599 in a pressure situation, you know, competitively. Now now it's not just 374 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,519 two bucks on the line. Now, it's you know, the title that 375 00:29:14,599 --> 00:29:25,200 you're looking for playing competitively and doubt inevitably shows up. But how is it 376 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:30,079 that we can perform with the confidence that we arrived at the first t to 377 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:34,559 maintain that over the four hours despite the fact that things are going to happen 378 00:29:34,599 --> 00:29:37,960 that are out of your control. Once the ball leaves the face of the 379 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:47,279 club, you're done right, And so we have to find and trust that 380 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:52,079 confidence. Yes, you use a big important word there, trust And for 381 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:56,039 me, I'm sure you and the listeners are scenting a theme here. A 382 00:29:56,039 --> 00:30:02,759 lot of the work is done off the course to make life easier or or 383 00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:07,240 at least your path to playing your best with less friction more consistently. So 384 00:30:07,319 --> 00:30:12,200 again, there's a lot of opportunity for off the coursework here to mentally prepare. 385 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:15,200 I mean, you had a recent guest who talked a lot about the 386 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:19,039 power of hypnosis visualization, really see, feel and experience what it's like in 387 00:30:19,079 --> 00:30:22,359 these moments. You know, there's so many different modalities and frameworks that we 388 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:26,880 can utilize in hypnosis to give you that sense of control to turn down the 389 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:32,559 emotions, to reframe and step into those situations so that when you are putting 390 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,400 for the tournament on the eighteenth hole, it's like you've already been there. 391 00:30:36,039 --> 00:30:41,119 However, you know, one of the traits that truly separates the best of 392 00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:45,640 the best from the rest is their ability to fall in love with and ruthlessly 393 00:30:45,759 --> 00:30:52,039 execute the monotonous basics over and over, regardless of how they feel. So 394 00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,480 to bring it back to the question at hand. Here, you know, 395 00:30:55,599 --> 00:31:00,200 as the you know, day four of the tournament is going on, or 396 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,920 making the turn to the back nine here, and the pressure is slowly increasing, 397 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:07,359 your lead is tightening, or maybe you're a tie totop the leader board, 398 00:31:07,759 --> 00:31:12,599 You're going to feel so many different temptations and distractions that want to pull 399 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:17,319 you away from your routine. You know, physically speaking, there's going to 400 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:21,039 be a desire to maybe tighten up because the spotlight, the pressure, the 401 00:31:21,079 --> 00:31:26,200 burden is now literally weighing down upon us. So it's learning to recognize the 402 00:31:26,279 --> 00:31:30,400 temptations and triggers, the self talk patterns that are all completely unique for each 403 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:36,559 individual based on their experience and upbringing, but recognition and awareness of them allows 404 00:31:36,599 --> 00:31:40,599 you to simply acknowledge and let go. You don't have to keep thinking that 405 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:44,640 thought pattern that's entered your mind. You have fifty to seventy thousand thoughts a 406 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,519 day, you can let some of them go. They don't all serve you. 407 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:52,720 So with that said, it's a commitment and an intentionality to the small 408 00:31:52,759 --> 00:31:56,519 things, the micro routines throughout your round. That is your best asset to 409 00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:04,119 keeping an even mind to play your best. And this is why I love 410 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:14,960 doing a Golf Smarter podcast versus doing instructional videos because it's that part of the 411 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:20,559 game that is not emphasized when you're watching videos they're talking about the mechanics and 412 00:32:20,599 --> 00:32:24,720 that you know, being able to take that part of the game which we've 413 00:32:24,839 --> 00:32:31,599 been talking about now, of helping yourself be a better golfer and not just 414 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:36,640 focused on you know, let your body do what it's going to do and 415 00:32:36,839 --> 00:32:40,759 just be a smarter, better golfer that way, and you will improve your 416 00:32:40,759 --> 00:32:47,480 game. This has been really fascinating, Paul, and I appreciate you helping 417 00:32:47,559 --> 00:32:54,680 us substantiate what we've been talking about all along. How can people find you 418 00:32:54,759 --> 00:32:59,839 online, get in touch with you and have further conversation with you about this? 419 00:33:00,119 --> 00:33:02,880 Yeah, absolutely so Instagram. I hang out quite a bit at Paul 420 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:07,799 Salter Coaching. You can check out my new podcast that details my own personal 421 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:14,160 journey to becoming a scratch golfer, a Scratch Golfer's Mindset Podcast, or check 422 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:21,119 me out on Golf Mindset coaching dot com. And how long have you been 423 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:25,440 playing golf? So? I played religiously from about the ages of nine to 424 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:30,680 sixteen or seventeen, and then I didn't touch clubs but one time for fifteen 425 00:33:30,759 --> 00:33:37,119 years. And here we are at just over that chapter of not touching clubs, 426 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:40,359 getting back into things once and for all. And how long you've been 427 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:44,599 at it again? It's been about a what's today? It's been almost a 428 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,559 month, so we are very new into it. A couple one on one 429 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:51,680 lessons under the belt, a couple rounds of nine, another one this weekend. 430 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:57,720 So why do you have a pursuit to being scratch golfer? That's a 431 00:33:57,759 --> 00:34:01,440 loaded question, but I'll give my best say answer. So as I've continued, 432 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:04,640 you know, I have a strong poker background, a lot of my 433 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,480 clientele as poker players. As you know, fate had it. I've started 434 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:13,239 working more and more with golfers. It has really reinvigorated my passion for the 435 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,840 game and something that's been missing in my life the last year or two has 436 00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:21,000 been an element of play, an element of competition. I am incredibly competitive, 437 00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:27,000 so golf really stokes the flame of competition in play. And I think 438 00:34:27,039 --> 00:34:30,880 you'll agree when we have an abundantly clear goal on the horizon, just the 439 00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:36,079 ability for that goal to channel our energy, our focus, to help us 440 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:40,440 stay clear of distractions is a fast track to elevating us into the best version 441 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:46,079 of ourselves. And the fact that golf is a game that demands presence, 442 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:52,199 a mindfulness practice, emotional awareness and management, all facets of life that help 443 00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,920 you be the best version of yourself. It's a natural marriage and trajectory that 444 00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:00,400 as I continue to prepare for a lofty and vicious goal in the golf course, 445 00:35:00,519 --> 00:35:05,159 I get to grow as an individual to be the best boyfriend, eventually, 446 00:35:05,159 --> 00:35:07,519 the best father, you know, the best brother, son, friend, 447 00:35:07,559 --> 00:35:09,400 whoever it may be. And it's a ride that I am ready for 448 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:13,960 and ready to ready to tackle well. I wish you all the luck in 449 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:21,000 the world in your pursuit of scratch perfection. But just to remind you, 450 00:35:22,079 --> 00:35:24,880 it's not that easy, and it's supposed to be fun. Don't beat yourself 451 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:30,800 up, buddy. I appreciate the reminder. Well, we're not completely done 452 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:35,039 yet, because we're going to have one more section here. I'm inviting a 453 00:35:35,079 --> 00:35:38,480 friend to join us to tell us about a fun little song that he wrote, 454 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:47,239 and we're going to do that in just a moment. Welcome to the 455 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:51,880 Golf Smarter podcast. John, great to be here. Thank you. So. 456 00:35:52,039 --> 00:35:54,599 John and I have known each other for a long time. If regular 457 00:35:54,639 --> 00:35:59,559 listeners the Golf Smarter will know that I've referred to Neil many times in this 458 00:35:59,599 --> 00:36:02,719 show for well over a decade, because he even took a lesson with Tony 459 00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:07,920 Manzoni when he and I were down together in the Palm Desert area. And 460 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:13,760 this is Neil's baby brother, John, and I use the term baby lightly 461 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:20,159 except I've seen him on the golf course and John, in the last few 462 00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:25,159 years took up golf. Now, you were a religious basketball player. You 463 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:29,960 played every weekend. You were on the basketball court, you know, trying 464 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:35,320 to prove sometimes. Yeah, just trying to prove that you were a lot 465 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:40,760 younger than you actually were. And we all know better that John, You're 466 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:46,159 gonna hurt yourself, Dude, play golf. You'll hurt yourself there too. 467 00:36:46,559 --> 00:36:51,719 Yeah. How are you feeling right now? Yeah? Right, exactly months 468 00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:54,480 off. So tell me what is it that got you interested in playing golf? 469 00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:00,960 I think just really, more than anything, spending time with my brother 470 00:37:00,039 --> 00:37:06,239 and people like you in a in a in a beautiful place at least when 471 00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:09,239 the weather's nice. And did you play as a kid. I know that 472 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:14,119 Neil played with your dad as a kid, but did you join in or 473 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:17,079 it was like very little? You know, four times a year, maybe 474 00:37:17,119 --> 00:37:22,119 that would be a lot. And then over the past few years with you 475 00:37:22,199 --> 00:37:28,719 and Neil a little bit more but never quite enough to brother, but not 476 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:32,840 enough to take it seriously. And then in the past year Neil brother, 477 00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:38,079 Neil really got me out there a lot, and I've kind of committed to 478 00:37:38,199 --> 00:37:45,599 Okay, I wanted enough enough of what I was doing before. Now let's 479 00:37:45,639 --> 00:37:50,320 like commit to it and try and learn how to to really play. I 480 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,400 think, as you know, I never used to. I didn't hit a 481 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:59,039 driver till like a year ago. Maybe a little again, hitt an iron 482 00:37:59,079 --> 00:38:04,039 off the tee, all right, and even if that goes well, it's 483 00:38:04,079 --> 00:38:07,239 not that's not the game. It's not. That's not how you're supposed to 484 00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:09,199 play. Well. So now I actually love hitting the driver. It's my 485 00:38:09,199 --> 00:38:14,320 favorite part of the game. Oh wow when it goes straight and well, 486 00:38:14,639 --> 00:38:17,920 it's just part of the game, right. So I joined to where my 487 00:38:19,039 --> 00:38:22,920 brother is and I'm getting out there two or three times a week. Whoa, 488 00:38:23,679 --> 00:38:28,360 and are you enjoying it? I am. It's a lot of time 489 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,239 to spend with your brother because I'm the youngest of three as well, and 490 00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:36,840 my middle brother is also Neil, so we share that. But my brother's 491 00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:40,079 a tennis player and he has no interest in golf. Also, you know, 492 00:38:40,559 --> 00:38:44,159 as I'm getting older, I got to find a way to spend my 493 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,320 time. So it's like, okay, let's let's get into that. That'll 494 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:51,199 that'll take a lot of time. Yeah, yeah, And it's a good 495 00:38:51,199 --> 00:38:53,920 walk spoiled, yes, as you say in the song, which well here 496 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:58,400 in a minute, and that's why we're here. So what was your musical 497 00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:00,400 journey? How did you get to the point where you're now writing songs as 498 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:05,719 well? I picked up a ukulele, like seven years ago out of the 499 00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:10,719 clear Blue, looked on a website how to play beginner ukulele, started playing 500 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:17,239 Friend of the Devil, and like from that day forward, I was playing 501 00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:22,679 the ukulele every day, an hour a day, and then like a couple 502 00:39:22,679 --> 00:39:27,960 of years ago, start changing the guitar. And then I actually found writing 503 00:39:28,039 --> 00:39:34,039 songs was how I learned best, you know, learning certain things like one 504 00:39:34,079 --> 00:39:38,360 four five, kind of basic structure of writing a song. And I like 505 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:43,280 writing, so it just it was a it was a good mashup of things 506 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,039 that I like to do, written a bunch of songs. I've got a 507 00:39:45,119 --> 00:39:50,800 YouTube channel and I don't know what possessed me to write a song about golf, 508 00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:53,800 but you did, but I did, and I and I want to 509 00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:59,360 say thank you for including me in your video. There's photos of me in 510 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:01,639 there and a little bit of video when we were up at Bandon Dunes last 511 00:40:01,679 --> 00:40:05,519 year. So when we went to Bandon Dunes, and I've talked about this 512 00:40:05,599 --> 00:40:09,559 trip, I went with John and Neil and Joel, the three brothers, 513 00:40:10,119 --> 00:40:15,280 and your nephew, Neil's son, and we each you know, each person 514 00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:20,400 got to pick somebody to bring. So we had two foursomes and Neil chose 515 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,360 me and so or did you pick no? And so we went up to 516 00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:25,960 Band and Duns and had a phenomenal time. And then you come home and 517 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:30,519 now you've written a song about golf, and I'm including it and thank you 518 00:40:30,599 --> 00:40:36,480 for doing that. So tell me what motivated a golf song which is called 519 00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,639 golf song. I had had other names, but I thought, you know, 520 00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:44,599 just cut to the chase and maybe it'll get more more hits. Well, 521 00:40:44,679 --> 00:40:49,599 yeah, it's it's really it's really clickbait that says golf song. Tee 522 00:40:49,639 --> 00:40:52,840 it up again. Here you go. Actually I was going to call it 523 00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,159 a good long, a good walk spoiled, but I figured you know that, 524 00:40:55,519 --> 00:41:00,119 I think that's been used a couple of times. A couple of times. 525 00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,920 Well, anyway, thank you for writing this song. It was fun. 526 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,599 So let's hear it. Okay, thanks for coming on, John, 527 00:41:07,079 --> 00:41:12,159 thank you, and let's let's play. Let's play soon we'll do Okay. 528 00:41:12,199 --> 00:41:30,000 Here is a golf song by John Polchek. Crush my driving off the d 529 00:41:30,559 --> 00:41:35,519 h the second straight. It ain't true, got a thirty yard chip, 530 00:41:35,559 --> 00:41:43,119 but then well that song and I can't do hit the flax, they get 531 00:41:43,159 --> 00:41:50,480 back the shades, takes a nasty bounce or two off the fat down the 532 00:41:50,760 --> 00:42:06,039 soap scraash. It's a good walk, boy, that's the tree thing man. 533 00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:14,280 I'll meet you here tomorrow. We'll beat it all again. It's a 534 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:22,360 good walk. Spoil Mark Twein said way back when I'll meet you here tomorrow. 535 00:42:22,519 --> 00:42:36,840 Rope. If you get up again staring down a birdie, but turn 536 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:42,960 up your feed, you away. I get the gipsy and leave it short. 537 00:42:43,079 --> 00:42:47,480 Well, let's be that kind of okay, it's so cage. Just 538 00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:57,119 save your part to myself and praying from three feet it's looking good. Then 539 00:42:57,119 --> 00:43:07,880 it is out. Fuck no way, it's a good walk. Spoil. 540 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:15,000 My frustration knows no end. I'll meet you here tomorrow. If you do 541 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:22,480 read all again, it's a good walk, spoiled eye. Set a shot 542 00:43:22,519 --> 00:43:30,360 one hundred and ten. I'll meet you here tomorrow. We'll lead up again. 543 00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:40,840 Now, I'll keep your head still, follow through. Let the club 544 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:49,000 do all the work. Slow your swing, turn your bits, stop playing 545 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:55,559 like a jerk, change your grip, adjust your stance. Try this club 546 00:43:55,679 --> 00:44:12,760 instead. I gotta try in silence all the voices in my head it's been 547 00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:19,239 a challenging around you day. Kind of happy that we're all most Just a 548 00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:25,639 short Part three awaits us in the setting summer sun, where I hit a 549 00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:35,320 perfect seven nron straight at the cup, runs inches away from glory. You 550 00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:46,000 over steal my hole in one, bastard. It's a good walk, spoil 551 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:54,280 Bee sitting alone in my den. I'll meet you here tomorrow. Do you 552 00:44:54,480 --> 00:45:04,199 with all again? It's a good walk store that starts here with friends. 553 00:45:05,159 --> 00:45:12,519 I'll meet you here tomorrow. It up again, said, I'll meet you 554 00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:37,440 here tomorrow. It up again and again and again and again. And by 555 00:45:37,519 --> 00:45:40,599 the way, if you've composed your own song about golf, I'd love to 556 00:45:40,639 --> 00:45:46,159 hear it. Okay, we've passed the registration deadline for our first of many 557 00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:52,360 golf adventures together, so it's time to announce the next one. As we 558 00:45:52,559 --> 00:45:59,159 hope to do for the foreseeable future, golf Smarter and TMI golf dot Com 559 00:45:59,199 --> 00:46:04,039 are joining for horses so that twice each year you and I can check off 560 00:46:04,079 --> 00:46:08,119 some of the most interesting and fun golf outings from our bucket lists. And 561 00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:14,480 this one is going to be unique as we're hosting a group of golfers and 562 00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:21,519 non golfers for a nine day adventure to Portugal. This trip includes three rounds 563 00:46:21,559 --> 00:46:25,000 of golf, walking tours, wine tasting, and a boat trip. I 564 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:31,039 say we because this is a couple's excursion. While we're playing golf, My 565 00:46:31,199 --> 00:46:36,719 wife Joanne, who is a non golfer, will be leading the way with 566 00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:42,320 partners and spouses to explore the beauty of Villemura, one of the finest beach 567 00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:50,039 and marina complexes of the central Algarve. Non golfers will experience optional spa visits, 568 00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:54,920 sightseeing and shopportunities. If you'd prefer, you can play golf every day. 569 00:46:55,679 --> 00:47:01,400 The trip will take place September fifth through the thirteenth of twenty twenty four. 570 00:47:02,079 --> 00:47:07,400 That's September five through thirteen, twenty twenty four. Now. To get 571 00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:15,639 all the information pricing and download the detailed pdf, please visit tmigolf dot com, 572 00:47:15,679 --> 00:47:22,760 slash golf Smarter, TMI golf dot com, slash golf Smarter and if 573 00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:27,960 you have any questions, please write to me directly. I want to thank 574 00:47:28,039 --> 00:47:31,880 this week's Golf Smarter Ambassador, Matt Hubbell from Lynden, Washington, for introducing 575 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:37,880 episode nine hundred and forty six and since we've been playing Tony Manzoni's episodes each 576 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:43,039 Friday for the last couple months, we've had a lot of requests for Tony's 577 00:47:43,079 --> 00:47:47,280 video from our latest ambassadors. We've got four episodes left with Tony to complete 578 00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:52,599 his catalog, and here's what we're going to do for the month of May 579 00:47:52,679 --> 00:47:57,599 twenty twenty four. If you request to do an episode intro, you'll receive 580 00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:02,679 all three of our free gifts instead of choosing just one that includes a private 581 00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:07,480 link to Tony's video, the Loss Fundamental, a glove and glove storage compartment 582 00:48:07,519 --> 00:48:14,039 from Red roostergolf dot com, the best online glove subscription service, and a 583 00:48:14,079 --> 00:48:20,039 box of premium Flightpath goolf teas a te above all. This offer is for 584 00:48:20,199 --> 00:48:23,199 US residents only, but if you live outside the US, you still get 585 00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:30,039 Tony's video for free when you request to become a Golf Smarter Ambassador by doing 586 00:48:30,079 --> 00:48:36,360 an upcoming episode intro. If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions 587 00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:40,440 for upcoming guests or topics, or need more information and want to discuss our 588 00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:46,679 September Portugal adventure, please write to Golf Smarter Podcast at gmail dot com or 589 00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:52,320 click on the Heyfred button when you visit golfsmarter dot com