Welcome to you Softcore History. Hello, and welcome back to Softcore History.
My name is Jake Goldman. I'll be your host for today. I'm joined
as always by Dan Rochester and Rob Fox, my two co hosts. What's
up boys? What bang bang? This to me? Bang? You give
me every time? Jump me? You jump me? You just said,
I'm joined by my two co hosts said our names. Oh yeah, I
did introduce you. That's right. Never mind you. Yeah, No,
I'm just be a professional one time Jake, No zero chance, zero chance.
We're back in the studio. We had a big sprint of episodes and
we're back recording all the haters and losers. I'm still alive. Yeah,
Dan's not dead. We didn't prophesize his death for now. What were you
supposed to do? I don't even remember in the hurricane. Yeah, but
now I'm about to hit the road because we're recording this. I mean,
statistically, way more dangerous than the hurricane. Yes, yeah, Actually,
huge MPR episode about how there's a ton of near misses and airplanes now and
one of the most common places is Austin for planes to crash. Yeah,
for our reports, not very big. A lot of flights, a lot
of flights, and there's only thirty air traffic control towers, so like they
don't see our flights. I get that. Yeah. United just like grounded
their planes the other day. There's a strike. Yeah, it wasn't that,
it was just they had a communication problems. There's a lot of we're
due. We're due for, like a massive catastrophe in the air. My
wife and I were talking about it. We're like, we're not flying for
a little bit. I's gonna hang back. We're gonna let one plane lane
on another before we start flying again. Me and Georgia are doing the John
Madden route, driving Alabama for Alabama Texas. So it'll be fun. You
guys love a good time. No, won't. No, it's trying to
be positive for it. But we're gonna be on the road for twenty two
hours and a forty eight hour period. So hey, well that's insane.
But you know what else is insane The amount of content you get when you
join our Patreon. That's right, folks, go to patreon dot com slash
softcore history and you get not one, not you, but eight extra episodes
a month. We do two a week. I thought you were gonna be
like a week. No, yeah, we really added a lot to thee
at his home, and he's just like he just like watches TikTok's about history
on his phone and then instead of stitching on TikTok, he just hits paused
and he's like, all right, this was bullshit. I probably wouldn't be
good at that if I looked at like, I don't no, no,
no, no, you don't research it. You're just like, I don't
trust this bitch just called Jake. T's off really leaning into his new line
of work. He has golf job, right, I'm not supposed to talk
about that. Oh well, Jake's a caddie. Yeah, I'm not doing
well, So we need you to sign up for the Patriot com caddy at
a Muni they don't even have caddies. He just I just show up and
they're like can you please leave? And I'm like, no, I w
oh caddy for you. The old man just shake their putters at me and
I run off. When I valet over in Orlando, that was the the
perk was you got a discount on like bay Hill and ship neat because you're
gonna make it. Let me catch that that travel expense. I'm only making
forty dollars a day because he valid at the poor hotel. I did see
World Center, Marriott and all the poor families that saved up for years ago
to disney World and not tip. They just got there, man, Like
did I get? It's like like a like a really old, like ratty
version of Mickey Mouse that used to be front and center at disney World,
and like the sixties comes out and he's like, who thrift is a gift?
Hoo? Yeah, we all have fun at disney World. Just the
biggest sleeze bags that work valet at a shitty resort. You're like smoking cigarettes.
You don't put it out when you get into their car. I did
starting they're smoking as they get out of the car. They get out,
you're get smell. You get transported by an old dude in like a minivan
from where you drop off the cars to go back to the front of the
hotel. He's just listened in the rush Limball d Time radio. Love it
be like, sir, you're two, you're two poor to relate to this.
My co workers are hot boxing in the back. Let's go. Yeah.
No, there's not illegal to drive someone else's empty car, impaired from
one parking lot to another. And if anything, it wasn't even the drugs
that made me want to crash a car. It was the sleep deprivation.
M How were they sleep depriving you? I would work like a sixteen hour
shift and then I would work another sixteen hour shift eight hours later. That's
insane. Sounds like you got eight hours of sleep? Yeah, why don't
you hit the SACKA you quit? Well? No, I also had to
drive. There was about an hour away from got six hours asleep. You're
supposed to get sixty eight to night. Yeah, dude, you're good.
What are you fucking winding about? Double ships were tough times. Tough times
sounds fun, It sounds like it sounds like the best days of your life.
Really in many ways, grind moo baby, many ways it probably was.
Hasn't grind Pay those Florida tolls on the way to work, that's tolls.
I grew up in a state without tolls, and anytime I would have
to drive through a state with tolls, I was I would just always be
like, this is full ship. There's enough tolls in Orlando between like downtown
and where I drive is for the entire state. Sometimes I would actually lose
money because they would overstaffed the shift so that they would cut people, so
I'd be there for two hours and I'd actually lose money because I have to
pay the tolls back. Sick. Well, I love that. Today we're
actually twenty two baby. I don't know about you, but yeah, so
today's episode, we're gonna be talking about something that was lightly brushed on I
believe in Rob's Patreon episode about the Gospel of Thomas. Rob is nodding to
me because he got up. Yeah, that was the Patreon episode last week.
Yeah, so he talked about the Gospel of Thomas, which was about
how Jesus was a dick. Jesus was kind of a dick as as a
child, but it was a Gnostic gospel. I think the Gospel of Thomas
is different than the the Infancy Gospel, but I've talked about both. Well,
we discussed an infant wrote the book, Yeah, a little boy named
Thomas. But the Gospel of Thomas is part of a larger library of what
is considered Gnostic texts, and I wanted to kind of dive into, Like,
if you listen to that, you know how absurd it was what we
talked about. So didn't the gospel we talked about on our patriot Oh,
we talked about the imfency Gospel. Okay, well, nast The gospels can
be insane, and I wanted to tell the audience about it, about Gnostic
gospels, about gnosticism, Okay, in general, there, I love them.
They're insane, They're insane, and it's my favorite religion. The Bible
make really paints a linear path of Christianity. Mhm, you know what I
mean? Yeah, no, it the Gnostics, for all intents and purposes,
have very similar fundamental ideas. They are just expressed in such radically different
ways. And we're gonna talk about that today. So first things first,
gnosticism. You might be thinking, oh, like agnostic. No, it's
not the same. That is not the Gnostic there, can you etymologize it
for us? Yes? Is it like nas like the back of your car?
Nas? Yeah, boost agnostic. It's actually that's just when you're a
farmer and you put NAS in your tractor or wheat thresher or whatever, you
know what I mean, and you break the dimension and go into a portal.
Yeah, that's right. And that's how you get to heaven, live
my love a quarter acre at a time, or farmly you didn't appreciate that
joke, go fuck yourself. So agnostics gonna we actually just got a new
audience with the Fast and Furious group popping in with that joke. Yeah,
so we're clipping that one. So gnosticism the bass word is gnsis. Agnostic
means to not to not no hypnotically, okay, it means to not know.
If you're agnostic, you're stupid because you don't know nothing. Basically the
whole tenet of agnosticism. Being agnostic means I don't think there's enough information in
this reality to prove whether or not there is a god or there is It's
not having a take that which is beta's fox sitting on the fence, have
a take which I am. I'm agnostic. What's up? No, I
mean, it's it's fair like it's being honest, like I am an atheist.
But if it came down to it, that plan's going down or me
enjoyed you on the road and we're about to run into an eighteen wheeler,
I'll probably say in our father, that's foxhole religion. Just in case yeah,
yeah, yeah, foxhole christian So Gnosticism is also rooted in the word
nosis, which again is the Greek word for knowledge or insight. What is
the name given to multiple loosely organized religious and philosophical groups that flourished in the
first and second centuries a d alongside proto typical sorry, proto orthodox Christianity.
So they kind of came up at the same exact time, maybe a little
later, but not by much with your proto Orthodoxy, like you know,
Christianity before there was any sort of good structure. I mean, yeah,
yeah, I don't remember when exactly it was, but I know that like
once Constantine sort of made it the religion of the Empire. That's when you
have had the Council of Nicea and stuff like that, which gave like the
Nicene creed blah blah blah, kind of really formalized it a little bit more.
Movie what Constantine? Same yeah, different about that, different guy.
No, it's about that, oh is it? No kind of shoot him
up the vampire shoot or devil, shoot him up demons, but with the
paranormal with John Wick with the devil, which is honestly that's the final boss
I think in John Wick. Oh, is it should be. I haven't
ever seen John Wicks. I'm kind of out on John Wick. We don't
even talk about so much. Well, the exact origin of Gnosticism, fraternity
life and alright, let's go. I finally saw that meme by the way,
the Trojan horse. Oh yeah, that's very show. It's very good.
That was Scofield, so shouts to him. Yeah, that was a
good one man. The origin of this school thought cannot be traced though exactly,
although it is possible to locate influences or sources as far back as the
second and first centuries BC, such as the early treatises of the Corpus Hermeticum
and the Jewish apocalyptic writings, and especially Platonic philosophy and Hebrew scriptures themselves.
So, in spite of the diverse nature of the various Gnostic sects and teachings,
there are fundamental elements that serve to bind these groups together under the loose
title of gnosticism or gnosis. But it's in the philosophy, No, it's
in It's in a bunch of different languages. It's pretty fascinating secret for your
Bartzvah. They do not they do not, And I will get to why
that would not be in a traditional bar mitzvah later in the episode. Might
be that they believe in Jesus. That would be a big, big part
of it. Yeah, top two. Yeah, but Jesus is an elective
piece of Gnostic philosophy. It's a big part of a lot of them.
But it's not necessarily a tenant. I mean there was not even full agreement
on what Jesus was when the nice in council happened, right, the council
and nice yet whatever the fuck before they formalized, like what they were?
Like, what the fuck was that guy? Yeah? Who was Was he
a prophet? Was he the Messiah? At some point he should have been
a tenant, right I think they all in an apartment complex or he's renting
word playoffs. Look, Jesus was always renting, never owned, He never
owned. He just doesn't look like someone that owns anything, you know,
No, he never. He also looks like a guy who would never pay
rent on time. Oh no, for sure, be the worst tenant really,
oh man, maybe by like the fifth I mean you got to think
though, with the barter system, he could just be like brings some drugs
of water over spring. He's like, how about I heal your daughter's leprosy.
I don't need a healed daughter. I need twenty pieces of silver Jesus.
Yeah, how about five fish. They probably take five fish. They
might take that. Actually. But from what I've seen as far as like
the universal across all of the teachings, there are three real main tenants.
One, it's my favorite. The material universe is a hellscape separated from true
divinity, probably true that is definitive and gnosticism. Yea. Being here on
a microphone with you two, it feels like hell. Yeah, no,
I thought you guys could relate to this. That's why I wanted to talk
about it. I get it and it. Actually Dan does live in hell
because he has to listen to it, like four more times. Yeah,
he has to listen to us over and over. Dan's heard my voice more
than I have. Think about that. Yeah, almost certainly, I thought
asleep to it. Yeah that's right, baby, go to see day.
That's for you later anyway, Oh, there he goes now. Second tenant,
the creator of this material universe is a bastard incarnate of the Godhead and
true divinity. So the God here that made the space that we live in
and occupy is evil more or less. So he's just like some fourth dimensional
dick hole exactly who made a computer game, who tried to make something.
Yeah, it's like playing roller coaster Tycoon and not finishing the ride. I
mean, this doesn't that is it. This doesn't not track with living in
a simulation. Nope, it's there's a lot of similarities between what is talked
about right now across a couple of different belief systems that are a fringe,
and this stuff that was talked about over two thousand years ago. Nothing's news,
all just repeating what we talk about when like, shit don't change,
there's no like people talk about now. You know. It's like it's so
hard to make an original movie or show. Look, it's hard to do
parody because life is almost ramped up the insaneness. Yeah, but we've run
out. We ran out of ideas probably one hundred years after we started making
art. That started one hundred thousand years ago. Yeah. The Bible that
an original, doope? I mean the Big Flood Book. Yeah, there's
this guy gil Gee. We have like three stories all throughout human history pretty
much, but as long as you hit beat for beat, we like it.
We are, I mean, he can in a narrative arc, please
the Hero's Journey, star Wars, just go beat for beat back everything.
Yeah, it really is. We want the same beats over and over again.
Yeah. It's always funny when like a kid's going into like a story
writing class or a screenwriting class and they just are like, oh, I'm
gonna try and push past convention. Why are you doing this? What is
that? And then they thrown a shot. Dick, you just throw a
spider at him? That did throw a spider at him. It dude,
it was like you couldn't even see it was small. Ones are the worst
ones. Jake's dead now, by the by the time, are we just
gonna keep prophesizing until one of us dies? Well, eventually we'll be right
one of these days we will. But we're still doing this on sixty.
I think that I think your pancreatic cancer is gonna get yet. Be drinking
the fro. The little money we make from this podcast we should throw into
a ton team. It's not a bad idea. Keep it in some ridiculous
like cryptocurrency, yeah, why not? Yeah? Uh, but film school,
everyone has that same fridge shot. You open up the fridge point of
view. Boom, Yeah that's og baby, that's uh. And then the
third thing that's important for gnosticism, So just to recount, universe is a
hellscape that we're stuck in. Two the person that created it, very thing
that created it is an asshole. And three knowing the first two things,
it's the only thing that helps you ascend to true divinity. Nosis knowledge,
what is true divinity? You will get to that. Robert, I want
to know, though it's for the it's for the second half of it.
He's got like a priest taking his pants off. I'm like, just tell
me, I'll still do it, and he's like, in time? Is
it part of the tease? Is it knowing everything but not being a nihilist?
Uh, it's very nihilistic. I don't know, it's somebody tweeted this
the other day. I think rob actually quote tweeted it. But like,
nihilism is just no narcissisms, pessimism, pessimism, same thing. No,
nihilism and pessimism are different. I thought it was Hi, nihilism is a
very pessimistic set of beliefs, But it was pessimist and pessimism. What you're
talking about. Pessimism sounds like people who are pessimistic sounds smarter to human beings,
but they actually score lower on IQ tests than optim than people who are
more optimistic. It's almost like a lazy way to sound smarter. It is
literally a lazy ways. Yeah. You ever been at work and there's a
guy that just talks about how something won't work but doesn't say how it will?
Ye? Yeah, that that person, right, like, and we've
all been guilty of that in certain places. I'm sure there's nine percent of
our audience is gonna direct all of this towards me, and which I answer,
I'm the most fun loving guy on this podcast. Dan's very positive off
Mike. He like when I came in, He's like, what's up,
Jake, I'm feeling so happy today. That was great. I really needed
that. Anyway. These various groups emphasize personal spiritual knowledge, nosis above proto
orthodox teachings, traditions, and authority of religious institutions, so they weren't very
liked. No, you could imagine they were also kind of like hermits for
the most part, like, well, yeah, we'll get to that too.
Why they were hermits, and if the universe is a hell escape,
any sort of pleasure you can derive from it, it's bad. You shouldn't
derive pleasure from this plane. So so you're not you're gonna make the hellscape
even more hellish. You gotta lean into it, you gotta just okay,
cool, But it's the knowing that it's a facade is the only pleasure.
But it's what think about it. If you live under these like cruel it's
a way to So you're just kind of like, you idiot, you're eating
No, not like that, Okay, you fuck. I mean, it's
definitely like that. I've read about enough gnostic groups to know that they're just
a lot of them are abstinent. Yes, they they're like, it's like
it's like cult monks. Well, I don't even want to like that,
don't even want to like expand their beliefs. They just saw They're like,
we're going to live in a desert. This is stupid. Yeah, they're
opting out the beliefs should be almost the opposite that if life is a hellscape
and has no meaning, that you should derive nothing but pleasure. Well that's
the thing too, though there's two thoughts to it. Right, You've got
to fuck your way out of this prison. It's nothing matters, will rob.
If you know that this place is evil and nothing truly matters here,
then you're free, right, and there's joy and freedom because it's like,
well I did that, okay, whatever, that's fine, or like that
bad thing happened, of course it did. This place sucks, but there's
a freedom of understanding, right, and then that can lead to better like
personal fulfillment because it's like why I'm gonna do whatever I want? Because why
not? And you know, as long as I know that this is bullshit,
I will get to a cent when I die. Okay, it sounds
like, you know, under Pant's question mark prophet, we'll get to that.
Come on, man, no, no, it's for later, like
it's what it's like. Well. Gnosticism generally presents a distinction between a supreme
hidden god and a malevolent lesser divinity, oftentimes associated with the God of the
Torah, with the lesser divinities a guy out of the Tora oftentimes not always,
but oftentimes I'm saying that who is responsible for creating the material universe?
Yahweh? Right? Okay, So consequently, but yeah, yeah, so
consequently, Gnostics consider material existence flawed or evil and hold the principal element of
salvation to be direct knowledge of the hidden divinity attained by a mystical or esoteric
insight. So this is an orally passed down tradition. That's why you don't
have a lot of writing about two. There is some writing that we know,
there's very few writings, but we have, like what I'm getting to
is a creation myth that's going to explain all your questions. Okay, I
mean this was the Dead Sea scrolls, right, that wasn't Wasn't that anastic
group? I think, I don't know if the Dead Sea Scrolls are these,
but I as a Ska band, what is it? It's the nag
Hamadi texts that were found in Egypt. I don't know if those are the
Dead Sea scrolls or not, but yes, So basically, many Gnostic texts
deal not in concepts of sin and repentance again, but with illusion and enlightenment.
So there's a positive side to it. It's about learning, right.
Gnostic writings flourished amongst certain Christian groups in the Mediterranean world around the second century,
when the Fathers of the Early Church denounced them as heresy. So again,
these guys are challenging the structure of organized religion. They're being called they
are the first group to be called heretics by an organized proto orthodoxy, the
first. They are the first, like, they are by far the first.
Like even though Christianity wasn't organized yet, they were like they were still
like, you guys are fucking crazy. They were big age heretics, not
like, oh, you're a heretic, like it was like, no,
you are officially like, you are a heretic. You are persona non grata
if you got a yeah. So efforts to destroy these texts prove largely successful.
That's another reason why we don't have a lot of writing, resulting in
the survival of very little writing by Gnostic theologians. Nonetheless, early Gnostic teachers
saw their beliefs as aligned with Christianity. The Gnostic Christian tradition, Christ is
scene as a divine being which has taken human form in order to lead humanity
back to recognition of its own divine nature. So again, the material universe
is designed to keep us from realizing how divine we are and how attached we
are to a hidden dividity. So we should we be existing on the same
plane as the piece of shit that made the this universe? Yeah, No,
we should be existing above it, above it. Yeah, he's kind
of stuck in this middle ethereal plane. However, because nastissism, so we're
superior to God. We're superior to the god that made this universe, not
the god head, the hidden God? How did he trap us in here?
Oh, all of your answers are gonna or all of your questions are
going to be answered, rob if you let it go. Yeah. However,
because nasticism is not a single take your priest off or take your pants
off father, that's right, you get ready, loop up, or I
guess I will anyway. Nastissism is not a single, standardized system. It's
a mutual thing. You know. It's a little bit on your wiener,
a little bit on your finger into my whole. It applies. You want
to go both, you don't want to you know, you want it everywhere,
all the loop, Yeah, all the loop. Got it. But
because nasticism has like a real emphasis on direct and personal experience, there's a
wide array of teachings. That's why it's hard to find three lines directing personal
experience of what seeing the fake god in the sky. He ruined it a
spoiler. He shows up once every thousand, Yeah, like what are you?
What are you experiencing? You're like, yeah, I saw some kid
get his head fucking caved in by a donkey, and yeah that's what I
That's when I was like, oh, for sure, this this is a
bullshit simulation, typical proto orthodox he rhetoric from this one, He's like a
super blue moon shows up like every fourteen years. Yeah, no he doesn't.
I mean I think they make I think I just don't remember more of
like a Hailey's comment situation, and they make but they just make up types
of moons like a super years. It's like I remember fourteen years ago,
Yeah I was twenty three. I don't remember hearing about people weren't as into
the stars as they are now because we're falling into ass backward times right now.
I totally disagree. I remember I think I was in college. Ladies,
Ladies that you'll listen to this podcast. I'm down down with astrology.
Dan will take as many crystals depositories as you will give him. If it's
also sound with crystals if he will sound with crystals yea. In the Persian
Empire, nastic ideas spread as far as China via the related movement Manochihism.
Well Mandeism, which is the only surviving gnostic religion from antiquity, is found
currently in Iraq, i Ran another diaspora communities around that part of the middle
of the desert. They do because guess what, there's nothing there. Yeah.
Yeah, it's like, can't be fooled him over here? Yeah sweet,
this place will suck ass forever. That's that's just confirmation bias. You're
right, he sucks. It does suck. This is a hell escape.
It's hot as fucking everything sand. Some guy comes back for a weekend.
He's like, I don't know, man, I was in Baghdad and uh
was dope. Maybe the God just made this part yeah yeah. The actual
mirage is more desert, even worse. For centuries, most scholarly knowledge about
nascissism was limited to the anti heretical writings of early Christian figures. However,
there was a nude interest in nacissism after the nineteen forty five discovery of Egypt's
Naga Hamadi Library, so they found those Tennessee's goals in forty six. I
think they were just discovering a bunch of shit. Yeah, And of course,
like Nazissism becomes way more prevalent again in the mid to late twentieth century
because Egypt made every sort of esotericism explode basically, like it was popping off.
People were trying to discover tombs anything. So he uh had a big
influence on the on the late nineteenth and early twentieth century and then clearly in
the second half two. But I mean like Egyptology was the thing. Egyptology
is what to the rise of prominence of Alister Crowley and the teaching of Thelma.
It was the rise of prominence to a lot of people, like because
there was actual archaeological findings happening while these schools of thought were also being developed.
Like ah, I think it was hollenable of Votsky and theosophy is another
thing that kind of happens in Tanem with the Egyptian discoveries, Like because there's
this actual scientific thing happening, and they're like, oh, we found some
books, everyone's able to kind of latch onto ancient he didn't know. I
mean, it was a huge cultural thing too. All the way from I've
said this before, I assume, because why wouldn't I have said this before
on this show. It's so on brand. But I mean, like my
fraternity, very Egyptology steeped in its tradition or whatever. Yeah, god him
boom, and then all the way up to one of the most famous SNL
sketches of all time, Steve Martin's King Tut when King Tut's body was torn
the United States, and I mean that is one of the most the hottest
tickets out there. Should have never dug those rows up, man, That's
why it's weird. We're like the eighth people to dig them up. Those
tombs were fucking pillaged when British people found them by locals. Yeah it's okay,
Oh yeah, it's true. No, they would dig them up and
then so they wouldn't get stolen, they put the sand back, wait for
it to pass, thing them back up. Yeah. Touch was on touch,
which is why that's really one of the reasons it's so famous. Yeah,
it was didn't get fucking grave robbed like every other one. That's an
exciting left on the twenties. Oh my god. Yeah, just trying to
find like treasure and artifacts. By archaeology and finding treasure, you mean looting
other countries Like, yeah, they're not established, fuck them, Yeah they
didn't. They're not finding them on their own in their own backyard. If
someone walks into my backyard and digs twenty feet into the ground while I'm asleep
and finds, you know, treasure, some treasure, that's his treasure,
I highly doubt you would believe that for a second. Yeah, you would
take them to American court. You would be like, oh, finders keepers,
Well what I would have done. I adhere to finders keepers. It's
the Actually, that's the fourth tenetive gnostics. I like, walk out in
my backyard at seven in the morning and dance ten feet deep with a shovel.
He's just pulled up a skull. It's just a drifter. But yeah,
he calls the treasure. It might be. Yeah, well your new
build there could be stuff. There might be a native native by ground.
Yeah. Rory speaks and tongues a lot. Fin's been pooping only out of
his mouth for the last month. Don't she hate when they do that?
Kid? Kids poop the darnedest things. Anyway, The Nakabadi Library was a
collection of very early Christian and Gnostic texts, including the Gospel of Thomas,
Full Circle, and the Secret Book of John, which is what we're gonna
talk about right now, Book Revelation sick. So John wrote the Gospel and
the Book the Copel John and the Book of Revelations. Yes, and and
I think it was John the Apostle. Oh yeah, that is what people
largely believe, and the Apocryphon. But we've had this argument where like was
it a different John because it was like, there's also John the Baptist because
Revelations on the Baptises were dead though Revelations was written like seventy or eighty a
d Right, he was an old man at that point. Yeah, so
he was just both suffered dementia and probably triple balls. Yeah, well,
get ready for the Secret Book of John. Actually, so this is going
to make the cut too hot for They're like Revelations, this is cool.
And then he just got a little too crazy. He started heat checking.
He's like, what can I get away with? So let me what are
you trying to say? I'm trying to figure out who wrote It's yeah,
it's attributed to John the Apostle, not John the Baptist, just making sure.
Yeah, dude, John the Baptist killed in the Bible beheaded Okay cool?
Oh yeah, why would he be why would he be right? But
he was a brute. He wasn't really a thoughtful guy. Well he knows
his cousin. I believe he was baptized him. Well. Yeah, in
the Secret Book of John the Apostle, we get the NaSTA creation myth.
All your questions about to be answered, answer them, Father, and it
is the most bizarre creation myth I've heard outside of like Hinduism and Eastern religion.
So for Western religion, it's definitely up there. Okay. John was
probably a little high on the shrooms and was like, I'm God. I
created this. This is a heat check. Yes, it is a John
heat check, because everybody is insane, and everybody on mushrooms at some point
believes they are God. It's easy to see you guys need mushrooms for that.
No, you can just be born in narcissist. It's fine. I
just need to be pretty drunk, honestly, Yeah, not like five five
drinks in I'd be like, I am Amaz. I should be president.
Two drinks in and a bump. Yeah, any point. You know what
I think of God now is this one? Let me go create something?
Anyway. The Nasti creation myth has come down to us in numerous different versions
and different Nasti texts. It's apparent that there was never a single uniform version
of the myth, but the different Gnostic accounts of creation that have survived down
to the present day are variations of a very common model that different models don't
really deviate from. Like this is it? So there's a skeleton of the
story and then things branch off on under different different like they shade it differently,
right exactly, Well, I mean that's how the Gospels are. Yeah,
they got there's the four Gospels all tell the same story, but there's
a little more flourished to some kind of riffle. John in particular, I
think, is the latest written and the most detailed, whereas like Mark and
Yeah, but shouldn't John's be the most detailed because it's the most recent,
right, No, because John was there, They were all allegedly there.
It was the latest written. Mark, Luke and Matthew were also apostles.
I'm almost positive I don't think so. I don't think they were all aposible.
I think John was. And John was the only person at the foot
of the cross. Well, here's the thing. So this was written in
uh, I think the early second century a d. So this would be
written right around the time of revelations I believe, or right after right if
it was like just after one hundred, there's up. We never learned like
all the apostles like in school I would do. But it's but with like
with like a rhyme. Yeah, Matthew wasn't. Matthew was an apostle.
I don't think Luke was. Bartholomy was. We know how he met his
end? Was he the skin guy? He was a skin guy. Yeah,
I love him. Just carrying around his skin like a purse. Probably
convenient in heaven. Oh I got a bag, you know, it probably
is more convenient to just have your skin, yeah on you. Yeah,
probably the most. Well, if you don't have that, it's like a
fuck, I forgot my skin. You gotta go back. Damn guys,
keep turning around. Forgot my skin. Anyway you think you get like a
notification like you're missing your AirPods, It's like, hey, your skin is
five miles away, go get anyway. This Secret Book of John is one
of the most thorough explanations of the myth, and I will go through some
of the high level notes to give you an idea of what kind of haresy
we're talking about here and why not just the Oh you're challenging our power structure,
but you're preaching this is the reason why they were labeled the Big Age
heretics. Okay, so I will start now, God the Father, So
the Divine God had the True God, gave rise to a host of spiritual
beings who populated heaven, which Gnostics call the plemera, which translates to the
fullness, basically totality. This is the good place. This is the highest
level of heaven. And there are tearst a gnostic heaven, which it's so
different. That's where the jading really comes in, where it's like, I'm
not gonna get into that. That's just not that's how we should do.
Hall of fames though Hall of Fame tears. Yeah. Also, have you
ever heard that? I only they talk about it with baseball mostly I read
about the baseball, mostly because I'm baseball, bigger baseball than anything else.
But it's like the Hall of Fame should have tears, Like you can make
the Hall of Fame and your a Hall of Famer, but then there's tears
within the Hall of Fame. Move up, there's like goats. Yeah,
there's like the tippy top of the pyramid, which is like you know,
Babe Ruth Hank, Aaron Neither, Barry Bonds, Barry Bonds, uh whatever,
those stand musual Ted Williams. And then you've got like second tier,
third tier, and then you've got like that you're a Hall of Famer,
but it's bottom tier. You're like fucking Brett McGriff literally McGriff love that guy,
but yeah, I do too. You would be at the lowest tier
of the should be in it, but not that he's literally a Hall of
Famer like you should be for sure, No, absolutely, simply off those
instructional videos. So yeah, he gives rise to a host of spiritual beings.
This includes a divine Mother and the Son of the Mother, and the
Father of the Christ or just the Son, depending on who you ask.
So one of the last of these beings to emanate from the Father is named
Sophia, and she wanted to do some creating of her own. But she
didn't want to tell her spiritual partner, which is just one of the other
full beings up there, or she and she didn't want to get approval from
the father. She was like, oh, he's making all this stuff.
I want to make something. I want to do my own stuff. Yeah.
So, believe it or not, we're not escaping original sin from a
female figure here. It's still there, dude. I honestly, the more
I read at the Adam and e story, the more it just tracks.
It still tracks here in terms of like I mean, like he said not
to do it, like we're living on his land, and she's like,
you need to fucking sack up. Okay, I didn't marry, Like,
come up, be a man, be a man. You need to provide,
you need to trust me. Okay, you never listen to me.
And he's finally just like, oh my god, fine, I know you're
a man without a rib, but you're acting like a man without a backbone.
Well done, nicely done, Yeah, very nice. It's tracks like
she just pesters him until he's like, okay, so Eve actually is a
hero in this story. Sofia is kind of a fuck up. Okay,
So the being born under the circumstances. She had bad spirit GUIDs, Sofia
to answer this non sequitor question, she doesn't have spirit GUIDs. She lives
with a bunch of spirits. Yeah, she is a spirit. She is
a spirit. She would be a spirit guided like, yeah, she is
an angel. Has a guardian angel? Yeah? Do you what if they
do? Do you have a guardian angel? Michael uh So? The being
born under the circumstances in which Sophia creates it is nothing like the perfect inhabitants
of the Plan Mirah. Instead, it was hideous and misshapen. It is
described as a snake with a lion's head and its eyes burned like lightning.
So it's kind of cool looking. It's metal, yeah, very metal,
but it's just not natural, you know what I mean, Like it's somebody's
first day at the genetics lab. Yeah, and there's like a snake with
a sheep's head, and it's just like that is exactly that thing you just
described is our god on this and it's just you know, Sigourney, we
were an aliens direction like the other ones, but it's just like kill me
trying to get the alien DNA out of her and opening an act for Pt.
Barnum. Yeah, it's an island of Doctor Moreau kind of thing.
It's a left handed woman in this at the circus, right, not even
bearded. This woman rets with the devil hand. Look at how she scribes
rand gets a lashy. Look at the way the ink smudges out of God's
pain. So, in fear and shame, Sophia casts her son, this
bastard thing, out of the divine realm, in the hope that none of
the other inhabitants of that perfect place would see him. So she tries to
literally sweep a bastard dragon headed or a lion headed snake under the rug.
Who among us? Who among us hasn't had the idea to create a new
dog breed? You know? You combine a Great Dane with a Chihuahua and
see what you get. And then twelve great Dane puppies explode out of a
chihuahua. They're all monsters, and you just have to take them out back
and drown them. And yeah, put it. You put them in a
potato sack and you throw them into a river with one cinder block. Who
among us? Yeah, well ton, they looked horrible. They looked horrible.
Can't confirm it was the most humane thing to do, slowly drowning them.
They were great Dane heads on Chihualla bodies. They just dragged them.
They just dragged their heads. Things weren't meant to live. No, somebody
proud of breeds them. It's probably I'd love to find out. I'm still
amused at the sick funck who bred Leo your dog, a shiba inu and
a pug. Just hold that those fuck someone for sick twisted pleasure. That's
Louis Anderson having a baby with Ariana Grande. I mean, Ariana Grande's early
your go too. She gets a lot of play from Rob so much play,
dude. She's just she's so obtainable. She's insanely obtainable. Yeah,
every which is hilarious. It shouldn't that shouldn't be the case. To conceal
further the bastard thing, she envelops him in a shining cloud and places him
on a throne in the middle of it. Way to give him a god
complex. You put him on did you put him on the throne? Not
the potato sack? Yes, rom into an ethereal river. I guess the
fullness didn't have like a river or something to murder things in, right,
so she had to make like a cloud and hide a minute, which I
guess fooled a lot of people for a while. But she named him.
Yeah, a both, that's your first mistake. I'm no, I'm just
saying, if you're gonna, if you're gonna kill san in a bastard,
you don't name it. Y'alled about probably means from what we can gather,
like we didn't name our ectopic pregnancy. Should we just aborted it? M
M, I'm just kidding, r I P. Steve. Anyway, y'all
abouth loosely translates to the child of chaos. Okay, so y'alled a both
then goes on to make I wonder if that's like lost in translation, because
you know how like if you like, you know, like there's like slang
in like Chinese or any language that is in English and and English idioms or
whatever sound crazy. No, the languages too right, you know what I
mean? But like a Chinese like something that's like totally normal, slanging them
will translate to like child of chaos, but it just means like idiot or
like mad lad or you know what I mean, like something like that,
Like it'd be funny if if what it really meant, like translated from their
heaven language, was just like shit monster, it just means like yat about
just means abortion. It's like, oh, shit head, Steve, Yeah,
so yat about. Then, in turn, because he has some sort
of spiritual vinity in him from Sophia, he a little bit of mom in
him, he mates with himself and generates twelve archons. These are demonic beings
who would shortly come to rule the earth from the celestial spheres above it,
but not in the fullness. This thing is so bad at making life.
Sophia is so so bad. God, imagine having care of a child every
time you masturbated. That's not how that works. Yeah, that's what this
guy does. Rob Yeah, no, no, he made love to himself
and he he popped out twelve kids. Yeah, that's demonic babies, that
is what happened. So well he could take care of him though. So
the names of these it's like when you see that seahorse blasting, like when
a seahorse gives birth. If you've never seen that video, look it up.
It's just like and it just shoots out like two hundred fucking babies.
Like he's not leading them around like ducklings. No, they're just they're good
luck, yep, have fun in the ocean. Two of these arcons are
familiar, and the biblical cannon they are cane and able or two of the
archons. Okay and we will just feels like just a bad yeah. Yeah,
well it was written well after Yeah. Yeah, because of the Okay,
I'm gonna start using the word demiers instead of saying yalla bouth all the
time. Demiers just meets false God. So because of the demiers just foolishness.
He was wicked and ignorant of his ancestry. He didn't know about the
big god up in the sky, so he belligently proclaims, I am God,
and there is no other God beside me. So familiar. If you
don't know, you don't know. Yeah, it sounds very familiar. Yeah,
it sounds like the Hebrew God. Right, isn't that the first commandment?
Basically, yes, it is. The twelve original arcons generated new arcons
until there were three hundred and sixty five of them, one to rule over
each day of the year. So every day of the year here is ruled
by some sort of thing. I never got that first commandment though, Like,
if you're all mighty, why don't you have more confidence in yourself?
Not if you're a demon horse thing or a snake headed or a line headed
snake, for sure, but act like you've been there before you and since
you live in the fourth dimension, you have Yeah, wait, should just
have more confidence. So Sophia's son, Yadabov, had the model of Plemari
within himself. He creates the material world based on that model, but because
of his ignorance and depravity, it came out all all. That's how it's
translated. It just came out bad. Sure, it's a bad batch.
Yeah, So it came out corupted and far and fury of the divine model.
So Sophia watched all of this and was stricken by distress and guilt.
She wept and repented for giving birth to sister, a monstrous entity. The
Father heard her please and promised to forgive her and restore her to reformer stature,
but first she had to stay in between the layer of the heavens,
closest to the Plemra and still above the chaos baby, until she had a
tone for a sin and menat her deficiency. So she's in kind of a
purgatory. It's it's weirdly, it's a heaven, but it's a purgatory.
Like to us, it would be a heaven to them, it's like essentially,
oh fuck, I'm on a lower plane. The sucks. Yeah,
it's a it's a purgatory. Meanwhile, the fucking snake and his archon saw
an image of the heavenly atom from the Father's pristine realm. So there was
a heavenly atom okay from top. They didn't know where it came from,
but they were really stoked about it. They're like, oh, look,
they can make this ship. They decided to attempt to create a human being
for themselves, but at first they're creation lay lifeless on the ground. They
couldn't figure out how to make it work. Come on, do some then,
that's exactly what. As they stood around the limb body puzzling over what
to do, the beings of the plemera so the high beings came up with
a plan to help the part of Sophia that had become trapped in her baby,
and they wanted to return her so that she could then return to the
Plemra. Emissaries from the Plemera appeared to the Chaos Baby and advised him to
breathe his spirit into the shitty Adam's face, after which they assured him the
body would awaken and stand up. So we did it, and Sophia's power
fled out of the Chaos Baby and into Earth Adam, bringing the first man
to life. Because of Sophia's power within him, he was already wiser and
more spiritual and more intelligent than his creators. Which I don't see how this
track. So like, she makes a baby and it sucks and it's awful,
right, he makes a baby with her spirit and it's like, good
to go. Well, but she didn't make it with her spirit, right,
she just fucking molded it, I guess. So she's made with her
hands out of spirit. There's a lot of rooms, like she just was
slapping shit together and she made the fucking and that honestly attracts a little bit,
right, So like, but they're still a part of her making a
baby in the natural way. Good go, test tube baby monster. There's
more like art. It's abstract. Just try and thinks as long as it's
not pop art. Yeah, then y'all about went on to paint a tomato
can not no kidding. So out of jealousy and resembment, the archons made
out immortal because he had divine energy within him, and they're like, well,
you need to die, motherfucker. Yeah, you're gonna die one day,
you bitch. They placed him in the Garden of Eden, which they
filled with all kinds of delicious foods to make him attached to material pleasures and
distract him from his true divine nature, so he won't he won't look up
because he's too busy living off the fact. He won't hang up and hang
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go there. This basically is the start of like how this intertwines the Eden
myth intertwines with between the two. Right, so the Arkons wanted to possess
Adams divine insight for themselves, so they took it out of Adam and created
a new being to house it. Eve. When Adam saw her, he
instantly recognizes her as her spiritual counterpart. At So the serpent in this story
is Christ. At Christ's urging Adam and Eve eat from the tree of knowledge
again, back to nosis and growing their understanding and their superiority over their own
creators. You see why they're called heretics now, Like it's so queer.
Why they're like, you believe what that Jesus is satan? Yeah? Wait
what now boiling over with hatred and envy. This is where it gets insane.
Jesus was still saving him. He was, so it's still he's Christ
is still a savior. It's just a different part of the story. Right.
Well, now they're basically saying that the serpent is a savior, right
Jesus, But Jesus, God's the big bad God is a big bad But
then there's a cooler God. There's a head God. Yeah, way that
they're way removed frohim, that we're all very removed from. It doesn't really
care about anything. Well, it's like, what why would big God care
about your fucking four degrees down like seven, and it's like, oh,
and who made that thing the lion snake? So don't give I guess check
it out. Like the god whoever makes your simulation might give a shit about
what's happening in your simulation. But the guy, but let's say that is
also in a simulation, whoever made the simulation three simulations above them, it
was like, whatever, not gonna care. It's like or that computer engineering
class. It's like a C student. But imagine in right in our simulation
there is like one there's like a bitcoin wallet password, and so the head
god is like, okay, we need oh yeah, we need a little
bit of that. Right, So that's what's happening here, right God,
that is the most podcast ass way to talk about any of this shit.
But it makes simulation killing bad. I'm sorry to everyone you wants to care,
all the women away from this podcast. Well we're about to get into
rape. So now boiling over with hatred and envy themmyrs left. The lion
snake rapes Eve and cast her in her mate out of the garden. The
two sons you're grossing out, get out the two sons born from this tragic
intercourse are the human versions of canaan Abel. This is just bad writing.
It's really bad. It's also fun. It's fun, but it's bad.
But most gods in every other like paganism or any other religion, they're typically
pieces of shit. Yeah, they're all pieces of shit. Yeah. But
Adam and Eve later have a loving, consensual sex on their own, and
they produce out of their union an enlightened boy. Would they name Seth Yeth?
Yeah, they're hitting all the notes. I love Seth. Yeah.
Isn't Seth the bad guy and other stuff? No, Seth just doesn't.
That's just the third kids. Yeah, yeah, that's dope. Seth is
actually like he gets no run. The should actually do an entire episode on
Seth. Seth gets the most run and narcissism. He's like this heavenly perfect
boy. It's like, oh, because he's made out of love. I
fucking love Seth. Yeah. So Lion Sneake can't bear the fact that they
are now three beings in his creation who are enlightened and superior for him,
so he forces Adam and Eve and Seth to drink the water of forgetfulness so
that they will lose their knowledge, but the capacity to revive their knowledge lace
dormant within them, and the lion snake is incapable of expungions like a fantasy
story I hate, like how can we put out the fire as of Oregon?
And it's like and like you, there's like no answer, like no
water will work. Only the wind of sheer more you can do it.
And it's like, what's the window? She like it is, bring it
out of It's the cones of Dundersheier whatever from Years and rec. You know,
You're like, oh, you must have a thief and the thief can
only move seven moves, but the knights can move. It's like come on,
but then Seth just kind of stomps it out with his foot. Yeah
right, because of course it's it's also Patton Oswalt and Parks and Rec explaining
Star Wars. Yeah yeah, So the lion stink isn't capable of fully erasing
their knowledge. It's dormant within them, and their spiritual descendants among human kind
remain capable of regaining that saving illumination that Christ gives them. All they need
is a savior Christ to reveal it to them, as He did for their
first ancestors. As the title might suggest, the Secret Book of John is
a story that is meant to serve as an addition to the Gospel of John
somehow. Within within Revelations is a sequel. Yeah, specifically a prequel to
Revelations. Yeah. Yeah. In terms of plot, it sets the stage,
and in terms of theology, it provides a context for understanding John's gospel
through a gnostic lens. Listen, maybe he took a couple of years off.
I had to shake the rust off is what he produced. He's like,
nah, and scrapped it. He was like, it is a secret
for a reason. You weren't supposed to open that diet wrong combination of drugs.
Yeah, that manuscript was It's like, uh, what was the who
wrote to kill a mockingbird? Harperly? Harperly. She had left that sequel
in the desk. She didn't want it out. She didn't want it out,
But then she had someone what is the dementia adult that her like,
family, what is to do? Go count of something. It's like the
name's not even good, the watch Tower thing, or go kind of watch
man like it's something. Yeah, that's it, that's it up. And
then she just had a fucking sick set a watchman set a watch man That's
how I read that, dude. Well, the Denver Post called it brilliant.
What are you gonna as a noted Denver hater on this? She can't
really hate on Harperly post death Right, but I can't. It's not her
fault she didn't want it out. But also that pitch road for fifty years
on one piece of literacy, that's dope. Do you know? That's the
best thing you could possibly do? But she forced the entire country to read
it. I know. Harper Lee is government subsidized. Harper Lee was also
given a gift, I believe. I believe it's f Scott Fitzgerald gave her
money for a year and just like write the book. No, no,
it's her friends or her friends. It was just her friends. I thought
it was a famous Harper Lee has been her whole life being subsidize welfare queen.
Oh you know who else was way more ironic iron rand she died in
section eight sounds dope. Yeah, it's like writes an entire thesis on how
the people that create well through the most important people and the people that work
for them are peasants. Yeah, and then dies a peasant. She was
a grifter, is what you're saying. Yeah, perfect, yeah, amazing,
Right. At Was Shrugged is the dumbest fucking book I've ever read.
That's not good. It's there's a lot. There are a lot of books
that I'd never read the fountain Head. I read At Was Shrugged. There
are a lot of books that are of across the political spectrum where if you
tell me that that book you write, you off the person off. Yeah,
oh yeah. Yeah. Like if if someone mentions a book, they're
like that, but I'm like, bye, So I don't read. I
know you're better off there. I will say this, sometimes you're better off
not reading. I know someone, especially if you write I want to do
on the Jacksone's style. You know. I don't think it was Katie,
but it might have been. It's someone I know, one of their first
bosses. Every Christmas would have a Christmas party at their house and make them
watch the fountain Head movie. How insane is that? That is like the
most scrooge thing you can do. That's horrifying, It's kind of hilarious.
It's for someone that's not there and hearing that I was cackling. It's just
like what And it's like just remember you're never sit down and be quiet and
watch it, I think, And he would like run point for point over
it like this is one. I'd rather work for a company that describes himself
as a family. I also disagree with that. No, it's terrible,
but I'm saying, if you gave me the two options, oh yeah for
sure. So yeah. The Creation myth was also a story of central importance
to the Gnostics. As a standalone tale and its own right abound the Gnostic
communities gather and illustrated some of the key concepts in the Gnostic world's use,
such as nosis and Gnostic duality, which is the Gnostic duality thing again is
we are very separate from true divinity. We don't even touch it. Really,
it's just barely dormant in us. Yeah, and illuminating yourself is the
only way to get there. One thing of note for some of you that
may have been listening closely is the incredible similarities in the cosmic hierarchical structure of
Gnosticism to the way the universe works according to scientology. I didn't know that
you didn't think about it the evil Arkons. Oh, I guess I didn't
specify this Arkons by themselves to you. Yeah, you didn't say that.
I forgot that would have immediately been like, oh Theetan's right, My bad,
I left that out. But yes, Arkhon's buying themselves to you,
and they buying themselves to the days they rule over us. They enjoy sucking
the energy out of us. Basically, cowboy Hubbard just rip this almost a
thousand percent. When did he write Dianetics because it would have only been about
five to ten years after all the Gnostics stuff was really discovered, right,
I think it was in the late fifties or early sixties, so it's a
perfect I'm just wondering if he if it wasn't sort of just accidental nineteen fifty,
it would have been five years later. No Hubbard, No, he
got his hands on it. Hubbard pulling. Okay, Well, I'm just
saying, you know, like we already talked about, we're not a creative
species. No Hubbard did it on purpose. Okay, I'm just saying I'm
not trying to give the benefit of the doubt to el Ron Hubbard. I'm
more sounds like you are I'm more just well, I don't care if I
do it, don't To be honest, scientologists look any mass assistant and he
is innocent of not raping people. That's a roundabout way to say he's guilty
of Yeah. So nine, Scientology nastism have similarities and differences. Is different.
Wow, get into the end here. The similarities, though, are
both Gnostissism and scientology include the belief that humans are spiritual being strapped in a
material body. Both religions also believe in the existence of a higher power,
divine force that we are separated from. Both religions also have a strong emphasis
on personal spiritual development enlightenment. All Hubbard did was teck it out. Yeah.
He put science fiction on top of gnosticism, which, by the way,
is just everything we ever do. It's like, yeah, imagine like
that dumb cosmic play. Let's make it a space opera. It's it's every
story ever. Yeah, I mean, it's what is a fuck? What
is it called? It's like an elevator pitch or something like that, where
it's like, think about it, it's just like Rush fleets Barbie. Yeah.
John Wick put an ancient Egypt perfect sold I will forever wonder what the
elevator pitch was for Human Centipede. Al Right, like, yeah, one
guy, right, I don't think he had to pitch it to anyone other
than investors. Right, that's still a pitch, I know. But he's
just like this movie's I'm gonna make a movie that's so insane that it'll get
like viewed enough that you'll make your money back. Okay, Right, so
he was a documentary. I thought he just did it right. Yeah,
I found a couple of people said their mouths to assholes, So okay,
the rise of people started, uh like openly talking about eating ass shortly after
that film. That's not a joke like that is that those are almost concurrent.
You're connecting dots. Yeah. I actually meant to say the pitch for
Human Centipede two? All right, we had three people soon asked him out
to ask them mouth right? All right, hear me out seven seven people?
We double it an add one, we triple it or no, yeah,
we double it out with seven right. Uh but yeah, No,
the thing that el Ron Hubbard did was like, instead of like people finding
a personal way to be enlightened, what if we sold them courses? What
if we made this a business, but if we griffed it. So that's
the big difference. But all in all, you got the creation myth.
You got all your answers. What'd you learn today? Not enough about Seth?
Well, Seth wasn't a main player, literally said he was. Well,
he was one of the few divine humans. Yes, he was the
first divine offspring of divine humans. And all I learned is someone's gonna retcon
this onto simulation. Oh, it already has been. It already has been.
Okay, So the a big community in Reddit fringe community is the I
believe it's called escaping the Matrix. Yeah it is. We are stuck here
by we have been put here into a simulation of suffering by a demi urge,
same thing that they tricked. I talked about this on the what is
it called the Patreon where reincarnation is a trick, it's a reincarnation trap.
We're a crazing planet and like all the Arcons, the light you see it's
seem like shining flashlights, like hey, come over here, and they well,
Jake, I learned heaven is a place on Earth that's the opposite of
what you should have learned literally the how did you I believe this bullshit?
So you just don't believe anything, he says. Dan actually brings up a
great point, which I'm happy you dead. The biggest conflict dastick ideology is
well, if we came up with this and we're on earth, oh we
know this is true. What if it's just another trick to make us not
believe the truth? Oh? And it immediately collapsed in imploded one. Boys,
I'm the enlightened one because you don't believe and you do believe at the
same time. But we are not in a pessimistic way. I'm not dumb.
Yeah, I say all as we already learned pessimists or morons, But
I'm not pessimistic. I'm saying heaven is a place on Earth, and it's
gonna be an afterlife person. When he dies anything like do you believe,
He's gonna be like do you believe or do you not? He's gonna be
like yes, like right answer, brother, Yeah, get it. It's
the dude from Monty Python and the guy in the Bridge. He just launches
and he eats himself off. Yeah exactly. Yeah, that's it. Like,
so you learned heaven is a place on earth. Somehow you learned what
I forgot what you just said. It's this is gonna get retconned onto simulation
theory. So you were right, who's Hitler? I guess the you know,
I'm torn between Sophia and her terrible clone, not clone, but like
her terrible genetic experiment. Yeah, it would be funny if there was like
a reality where, uh, I don't know, just someone had kids,
like a coder had kids, but he had like, you know, kid
kids, and then one of those kids wanted to be a coder like him,
and they were terrible at it and created terrible code and tried to hide
it within that terrible code created I don't even know, somehow like better code.
But steely, you know, it's like, yeah, it's it's hard
to follow the line. I know, it's shitty. It's bad writing.
Yeah, it's like Hitler is the writer John the apostles in this. You
don't they'd all hit Okay, one of them don't all hit there? You
can't. Should you expect them too? Yeah, you can't write revelations every
time. No, but it tracks that it's his because like snake Lion sounds
a lot like eyeball angels. You know Hitler today is ran that's fair field.
I ran one. We talked about her, not left field. Yeah,
we did just talk about but it was an out of left field.
Oh like reference and inclusion doesn't matter. In the episode the funny thing in
the tattoo community the episode now so Hitler's myler? Uh so Dan, I
thought you would think this is funny. So one of the like of people
that are considered that consider themselves nastics, a lot of them get the snake
lion tattoo. Sure, and that is one of the biggest points of contention
within the nastic community on whether or not you should get that tattoo, because
they're like, why would you get you just like, can you imagine,
like you're fucking in the rectory with the priest, You're both taking off your
clothes and he's got a devil tattoo across his chest. It's like, wait
a minute, while that's a huge red flag because it's a cool thing to
talk about. That's a huge argument is that it allows me. It allows
me to talk about nastissism and illuminate others. And it's like hold on,
though, you just put on yourself I'll say this right, and the thing
that entraps you in hell, if we hit five thousand patrons by the end
of the December, I'll get that tattooed on my body. How about this
one, I'll get whatever. It's not a bad snake. You already have
a zeppelin. It is not a bad tattoo, though all the things you
can get. I'm just saying it's a good zep. I'm just saying you
have this happening in a lighthouse. That's not there's a theme to it.
You'll there's not. We're going nineteen twenty steam steampunk. You can go one
hundred and twenties. Why And I'm gonna get probably like a some some carnival
freaks, some boardwalk stuff. You need some freaks on your body, that's
for sure. It's gonna eventually. Look all it's all gonna come together.
You should get Timothy Dexter's punctuation page on your back. Five thousand patrons by
the end of December. Yeah, oh, I'll get a tattooed on my
back. If we have five thousand patrons by the end of December, I'll
get on my ass, you said back, So yeah, plenty of meat
back there. You don't want match, no, no no. The snake
goes down to your asshole, and the lion's head is your your little balloon
not Yeah, it's the mouth, yeah yeah, and it spews out shitty
creation. Yeah. Actually makes a lot of sense. It does well.
Or Danner jests from Rob and Rob Fox, I hope you enjoyed this in
saying story, my name's Jake Goldman. He's just got saucer.