WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.280 --> 00:00:10.000 Hey, hey, I'm bad. Listen with something for you to pick about. 2 00:00:11.720 --> 00:00:20.160 Love is definitely work. Being in a relationship, being in love, 3 00:00:21.000 --> 00:00:28.280 it is definitely work, but it should not be hard work. When you 4 00:00:28.440 --> 00:00:36.240 find that it is hard work, then maybe you need to reassess yourself and 5 00:00:36.359 --> 00:00:44.799 your relationship. Too. Many of you are allowing yourselves to be in these 6 00:00:45.560 --> 00:00:54.399 unhealthy relationships thinking that's the way love goes. It is not. It is 7 00:00:54.439 --> 00:00:59.240 not. And the reason I say love is work, being in love is 8 00:00:59.320 --> 00:01:11.159 work is because any relationship, any good, healthy, wholesome relationship, it 9 00:01:11.200 --> 00:01:18.599 requires work. You must do the work in order for your relationship to grow. 10 00:01:19.120 --> 00:01:26.120 If you don't, it's gonna die. It's going to die. There 11 00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:30.959 are plants that require very little water, very little sun, and they will 12 00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:38.519 still thrive. But they gotta get some. They have to have some. 13 00:01:38.239 --> 00:01:46.799 So what I'm saying, I use that as a metaphor to say our relationships 14 00:01:46.840 --> 00:01:57.599 are no different. You must cultivate your relationship so it can grow, so 15 00:01:57.640 --> 00:02:04.959 it can flourish, so your relationship bond can grow stronger and stronger. That 16 00:02:05.159 --> 00:02:10.199 takes work. Some of you don't understand that. Some of you you get 17 00:02:10.240 --> 00:02:15.800 into relationships the wrong way with the wrong people and think you're gonna have a 18 00:02:15.840 --> 00:02:23.560 great relationship. You have all of this negativity around you all the time, 19 00:02:23.879 --> 00:02:27.400 and you think you're gonna have a good relationship. The person you're with is 20 00:02:29.199 --> 00:02:35.560 as negative as you are. You think your relationship is going to work. 21 00:02:35.840 --> 00:02:39.000 You think it's gonna be easy. No, that's when it's so very hard. 22 00:02:42.159 --> 00:02:50.159 When you're in those relationships where you're unequally yoked. And don't get me 23 00:02:50.199 --> 00:02:59.240 wrong now, sometimes those relationships can flip around and become relationships that are equally 24 00:02:59.319 --> 00:03:06.520 yoke. Because us people can change. But some of you are waiting around 25 00:03:06.560 --> 00:03:12.639 for people to change. It is never going to happen. That's why you 26 00:03:12.680 --> 00:03:16.560 shouldn't look for them to change you. You need to change within yourself. 27 00:03:20.879 --> 00:03:25.960 Some of you take so much unnecessary crap from the person who's supposed to love 28 00:03:27.000 --> 00:03:31.719 you. The person that loves you or claims to love you is the one 29 00:03:31.719 --> 00:03:39.039 who will hurt you the most. You know why, because you have taught 30 00:03:39.159 --> 00:03:45.080 them how they can treat you. You gave them that ammunition to hurt you. 31 00:03:45.080 --> 00:03:51.039 You did. Some of you are trying your daringness to love someone who 32 00:03:51.120 --> 00:03:57.080 don't love you, trying to be with someone who don't want you. Some 33 00:03:57.120 --> 00:04:06.680 of you literally basically forced the other person into the relationship. Well, everyone 34 00:04:06.719 --> 00:04:13.000 else's married, we've been together five years. You know, we have children 35 00:04:13.080 --> 00:04:17.000 together, our parents, you know they want us to get married. Look 36 00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:23.279 at all our friends. Whatever the situation may be, or the excuse. 37 00:04:25.480 --> 00:04:30.279 So you feel pressured and you get into it knowing that's not what you want 38 00:04:30.360 --> 00:04:34.160 to be in or it's not who you want to be with, but you 39 00:04:34.279 --> 00:04:44.399 do it because you think it's the thing to do, only to realize through 40 00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:55.319 just constant drama, that you made the wrong decision. I will tell anyone 41 00:04:55.480 --> 00:05:03.720 in this whole entire world, if you don't love and love with the person 42 00:05:03.800 --> 00:05:11.079 you're with, if you don't love them and are in love with them, 43 00:05:11.160 --> 00:05:17.240 you're gonna have a hard time. Take my word for it. You're going 44 00:05:17.319 --> 00:05:24.279 to have a lot of unnecessary obstacles in your way. Because see what people 45 00:05:24.439 --> 00:05:29.959 do is they take on all of the negativity that other person is bringing into 46 00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:36.480 the relationship. Plus you're dealing with your own personal inner negativity. It's a 47 00:05:36.519 --> 00:05:45.959 train wreck. That's why people think love and being in relationships is so hard, 48 00:05:46.279 --> 00:05:49.279 because you're picking the people who are making it hard. For you because 49 00:05:49.279 --> 00:06:00.000 you're making it hard for yourself. That's the problem. That's the problem. 50 00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:05.759 You are picking relationships in the individuals for the wrong reasons. They look good, 51 00:06:06.199 --> 00:06:14.839 So what they have money, they have a particular title or position or 52 00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:23.560 status, You think that's it. That's nothing. When it comes to what 53 00:06:23.680 --> 00:06:27.879 it takes to keep a relationship together, that's nothing. When it comes to 54 00:06:28.240 --> 00:06:34.439 what it takes to really really experience true love, most people have never experienced 55 00:06:34.480 --> 00:06:46.600 it. Most people haven't experienced it. Some people think they are in relationships 56 00:06:46.639 --> 00:06:50.720 and it's real, it's true love, and they can't even see how they're 57 00:06:50.759 --> 00:06:57.000 being dominated and controlled. They cannot see, as a woman, how she 58 00:06:57.240 --> 00:07:02.120 is mistreating her husband, how she is leading the pack. But he can't 59 00:07:02.160 --> 00:07:10.240 see it because to him, it's all good because he's getting what he wants, 60 00:07:10.399 --> 00:07:17.319 so he can't see how dominating and controlling and degrading she is to him, 61 00:07:18.759 --> 00:07:26.000 and vice versa. Because people want what they want, so they ignore 62 00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:30.839 all the other things that comes and really slap him in the face later, 63 00:07:33.120 --> 00:07:40.519 because, let me tell you, people will get tired. It may take 64 00:07:40.720 --> 00:07:47.600 years and years and years and years, but one day he's gonna get tired. 65 00:07:47.959 --> 00:07:55.000 One day she's gonna get tired and their eyes will open to reality and 66 00:07:55.079 --> 00:08:01.680 they don't want to be with you anymore. People can't handle that. That's 67 00:08:01.680 --> 00:08:09.920 why it's important to be able to see the truth in your faith, not 68 00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:16.480 realizing down the road that you've lost your soul, that you have no sense 69 00:08:16.519 --> 00:08:22.160 of self, that you feel horrible about yourself because of the person that you're 70 00:08:22.199 --> 00:08:28.680 with. They treat you like crap, so you feel like you're not worthy. 71 00:08:30.240 --> 00:08:33.759 They don't love you, so you feel like you're not worthy when you 72 00:08:33.799 --> 00:08:41.279 didn't think you were worthy before that. But you just forgot. You forgot 73 00:08:41.279 --> 00:08:48.039 about that because you've taken on all of his or her issues, you forgot 74 00:08:48.039 --> 00:08:56.799 about your own. I've mentioned this several times. I've done a podcast about 75 00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:01.360 trying to love the hell out of someone only to find yourself in it. 76 00:09:03.200 --> 00:09:13.639 Most people are in hell in their relationships in their own homes because they chose 77 00:09:13.759 --> 00:09:24.559 the hard route. They chose the hard road to love because people would rather 78 00:09:24.639 --> 00:09:31.279 have some man or some woman than no man or no woman at all. 79 00:09:33.440 --> 00:09:39.159 And honestly, that is what most people in the world are dealing with. 80 00:09:39.720 --> 00:09:45.559 Most people are in one side of relationships. I will guarantee you any amount 81 00:09:45.559 --> 00:09:50.120 of money. Most people in the world, and I know there are millions 82 00:09:50.159 --> 00:09:56.279 and millions and millions of people in the world, billions, Most are in 83 00:09:56.559 --> 00:10:07.360 one side of relationships without a doubt because people will settle in a heart beat. 84 00:10:09.240 --> 00:10:16.480 Most people don't even know self. They don't They allow and accept any 85 00:10:16.519 --> 00:10:22.360 and everything in the name of love. They go along with things, they 86 00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:26.720 create these monsters. That's why people treat you the way they do, because 87 00:10:26.879 --> 00:10:33.559 you have allowed them to. You taught them exactly how they could treat you, 88 00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:41.080 and that's how they treat you. You're miserable, you're unhappy, but 89 00:10:41.159 --> 00:10:52.600 you're still going alone because inside of your brain you still holding on to the 90 00:10:52.639 --> 00:11:05.240 thought that here or she will change. Sometimes they never do. Never do. 91 00:11:07.519 --> 00:11:13.799 I know people who have been together so long the significant other passed away 92 00:11:15.600 --> 00:11:22.360 and they went through all of those years unloved by their significant other. I 93 00:11:22.399 --> 00:11:26.480 know, seriously. I know people who've been together in their thirty and forty 94 00:11:26.759 --> 00:11:35.279 year time frames and their significant other past, and they are miserable because they've 95 00:11:35.360 --> 00:11:41.919 never learned how to live because they gave everything they had to that other person 96 00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:48.639 who sucked the life out of them, literally choked the life out of them, 97 00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:54.320 and now that person is dead and gone, and they still don't know 98 00:11:54.320 --> 00:12:01.039 how to live because they're so caught up in that mindset that they've always had 99 00:12:03.720 --> 00:12:09.559 and they don't know how to live. They were unhappy and miserable with that 100 00:12:09.639 --> 00:12:13.679 person, and that person is dead and gone, and they're still unhappy and 101 00:12:13.799 --> 00:12:18.919 miserable. Now they're pining over the dead person that they never wanted to be 102 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:24.559 with anymore, or the or the dead person didn't want to be with them, 103 00:12:24.840 --> 00:12:30.080 So they're pining over that person when it was all bad. Tell me 104 00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:37.879 something is not wrong with that individual. You have not healed from whatever you 105 00:12:37.919 --> 00:12:46.559 went through. You are holding on to all of that negativity and the negativity 106 00:12:46.600 --> 00:12:52.080 that significant other bought into your life or brought into your life. I should 107 00:12:52.080 --> 00:12:58.759 say brought, not brought into your life, but you bought into it. 108 00:13:01.840 --> 00:13:05.120 Because people think it's the way they're supposed to love. They think it is 109 00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:11.759 love, all of the negativity, all of the pain. People really think 110 00:13:11.799 --> 00:13:16.960 it's love. That is not love. Like I said, love is hard 111 00:13:18.120 --> 00:13:31.039 work when you are loving the wrong person, because love is work, but 112 00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:35.720 it should not be hard work. You have individuals who get together, Oh 113 00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:48.080 they'll climb high mountains, swim the most dangerous ocean to get you because it's 114 00:13:48.159 --> 00:13:54.039 all a show, it's all fake. Then they get you, mind you 115 00:13:54.519 --> 00:14:01.279 they're seeking something. They have an agenda, it's always an agenda, and 116 00:14:01.399 --> 00:14:09.559 they get you and who they really are. All of it comes out. 117 00:14:09.759 --> 00:14:11.639 They showed you a little bit here and there, but all of it comes 118 00:14:11.639 --> 00:14:18.039 out, and you realize they never wanted you in the first place. They 119 00:14:18.039 --> 00:14:24.480 wanted what you had. They want something that you have going on. They 120 00:14:24.480 --> 00:14:31.600 don't want you per se, but they will be with you as long as 121 00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:37.080 they're getting what they want from you. I mean, there's all kind of 122 00:14:37.799 --> 00:14:48.879 schemes and just things that people subject themselves to unnecessarily in the name of what 123 00:14:48.919 --> 00:14:56.919 they think is loved. People get together. I mean, you had all 124 00:14:56.960 --> 00:15:01.159 of this going on prior to getting together. You get together, Boom, 125 00:15:01.360 --> 00:15:05.840 it all stops. It's the same way with some people getting married. They 126 00:15:05.879 --> 00:15:13.000 get married, Boom, all the courtship, all the smiles, the fun, 127 00:15:13.159 --> 00:15:20.559 the laughter gone. Some women cook, cook, no longer cook, 128 00:15:22.480 --> 00:15:26.759 some of them never cook, but you expect them to cook. Now. 129 00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:37.879 I believe both individuals should help out and always. But the point I'm trying 130 00:15:37.919 --> 00:15:48.919 to make is a lot of people were doing things to get the person, 131 00:15:50.519 --> 00:15:58.039 got the person, and everything stopped. Some of you intimacy every second, 132 00:15:58.919 --> 00:16:10.000 every chance you get get married, boom that stops. I mean, you 133 00:16:10.279 --> 00:16:18.919 have to be willing to see the truth because if you don't, you're gonna 134 00:16:18.919 --> 00:16:27.679 find yourself in a very unhappy place. Because real love takes work, but 135 00:16:27.759 --> 00:16:33.360 it shouldn't be hard work. That's a fact. Anybody want to challenge me 136 00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:37.320 on it, please do so, because we're gonna break it all the way 137 00:16:37.399 --> 00:16:41.759 down. You wanna challenge me on it, please do so. Because tell 138 00:16:41.799 --> 00:16:55.639 me anywhere what abuse, disrespect, taking for granted, degrading, lying, 139 00:16:56.000 --> 00:17:03.519 cheating, stealing, doing all of this stuff to your significant other? Tell 140 00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:10.359 me where's the love in that? When you love someone, to include yourself 141 00:17:10.480 --> 00:17:15.759 most of all, you're not trying to do no hurt or harm. You 142 00:17:15.839 --> 00:17:23.799 want peace. But when it's with someone who have the same mindset of that 143 00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:32.599 you have, or worse, hard work because you're trying to make something work 144 00:17:32.799 --> 00:17:38.279 that should have never been. And I mean, receive it or not, 145 00:17:40.279 --> 00:17:44.200 it's on you receive it or not. But I know what I'm saying is 146 00:17:44.240 --> 00:17:52.200 true. I know what I'm saying is true. You have to love yourself 147 00:17:52.400 --> 00:18:00.359 first. You must. You must know yourself, love yourself, under stand 148 00:18:00.480 --> 00:18:07.319 yourself first, because it's gonna open your eyes to what you need to see. 149 00:18:08.759 --> 00:18:15.319 You'll understand, oh my gosh, he's fine. You will understand that. 150 00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:22.480 You'll see that. But it won't mean anything when it comes to keeping 151 00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:29.319 a relationship together, because you will understand it takes more than that, way 152 00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:38.400 more I hear it's about the storm out there. You understand. It takes 153 00:18:38.519 --> 00:18:42.799 way more than good looks. It takes more than what their title is. 154 00:18:44.119 --> 00:18:48.799 It takes more than their possessions, what they have. It takes more than 155 00:18:48.119 --> 00:18:56.599 their success. It takes way more than that for a relationship to flourish and 156 00:18:56.759 --> 00:19:03.200 grow. You'll never grow if you don't work on it. So that's why 157 00:19:03.240 --> 00:19:08.039 I say it takes work. You have to put in the time for quality 158 00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:12.440 time. You have to put in the time for communication. That should be 159 00:19:12.559 --> 00:19:22.079 daily. You should have time for your significant other every single day. You 160 00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:27.000 must put in that time. You must put in time to enjoy one another, 161 00:19:27.359 --> 00:19:34.240 doing things for one another, courting one another, romancing that should never 162 00:19:34.519 --> 00:19:41.079 end, never ever, for most it ends. And that's why people have 163 00:19:41.240 --> 00:19:45.640 all types of problems. They don't communicate, they don't trust one another. 164 00:19:47.799 --> 00:19:56.200 It's just so many things. People set themselves up to fail in their relationships 165 00:19:56.200 --> 00:20:03.000 from the start. That's all I'm gonna say. I'm leaving it right there. 166 00:20:03.160 --> 00:20:07.720 I hope you ponder over what I'm saying. Thank you for listening. 167 00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:11.000 Much love to each and every one of you. I hope you're all doing 168 00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:14.799 well. You, your family, your friends, and all of your loved 169 00:20:14.839 --> 00:20:18.599 ones. I hope everyone is doing well again. Much love to you. 170 00:20:18.599 --> 00:20:22.000 You know. I end every episode the same. If it's your first time 171 00:20:22.039 --> 00:20:29.119 here, welcome, please come back. Also listen to relatable life Chronicles. 172 00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:33.799 It have a lot of good information. Share share this episode, Also share 173 00:20:33.880 --> 00:20:40.079 this podcast relationship Chronicles, and I'll catch you the next time. I end 174 00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:45.480 every episode the same, and I hope you do it, think on it.