Dan. What's happening, young McBride? How are you keeping? How are
you keeping? Mister O'Mahony, I gotta tell you I'm over here looking forward
to my last non cursed hour on this earth, Tom, because I have
a feeling once we get this week's podcast out of the way, it's just
fucking helen damnation for us going forward. How are you keeping? How are
you feeling? I already have a priest, a rabbi, and a man
and if I can get my hands in anybody else to come over to the
house first thing tomorrow morning to bless the place because this next next hour is
going to get creepy, creepy, and our chances with this one. But
how are you all doing out there in listen Land? Tom and Jerry Land.
They're in Tom and Jerry Land. Of course they're welcome everybody. Of
course, we just ingratiated ourselves there by saying hello to each other without saying
hello to e. But you're all very very welcome back to another episode of
the Tom and Jerry's Show, of course, if it's your first time listening,
Gone, what are these two boats about? Havigander? There's rags more
back there last couple of seasons, we've been going off script as we had
done in previous years. We're sticking with our magazine style show, but typically
what we've been picking over the last two seasons are subjects that are deer,
are interesting to our hearts and extrapolating them, deep diving on whatever you want
to call yes, indeed and indeed yes, subjects that are of interest to
all other people, which is why this podcast is just steadily plateau and Tom
always says a load to the new listeners. Tom, there are no fucking
new listeners. It's the same cohort we have had since day one, and
we've loved the early. Dark hearted, fucking horn toad Freaks like us are
just sitting there going this is my gummy verse, this is my jam.
There's just stuff for me, sitting there wearing the picture off their brown scapula
between finger and Tom as they listened to us playing with the with their reckless
middle in the chest hair of life. Oh my soul. Do you know
what? Look, let's just jump straight into because I'm quite excited about this
one. I've been Yeah, I've been too deep into the Internet and this
stuff. I feel like a couple of conspiracy guy friends of ours that I've
found. I ended up in places that I had no business. I had
to close the door again and say excuse me, sorry, I pick a
pardon and reverse back out, and I just keep it back on track,
because if you go down the route of black magic and whatnot, you can
end up in Haiti. That's where I ended up. People. People are
worried about the dark web, it's the green web you want to worry about.
Exactly because in this episode we are going to be discussing the Irish phenomenon
that is pish oaks. Now you something. You will be reading this from
Barad gone Pi. It is pronounced a pish oaks, pish oaks, nothing
to do taken a pish pigs sometimes people which is young people it is yeah,
yeah, it's not maybe, Oh yeah, I said that would I
don't know what I think. I read it out loud like that when I
started looking into it first, and I assumed there was a pish and then
a small pitch because oag to put og on the back end, so gar
old Ogu would be small Jerry young, Jerry, Yeah, tom Ogu.
You'd hear something that's called don't logue. This is pisch og, but not
there doesn't seem to be a big pish. Yeah, I mean, there's
just a singular pish, one size fits all pish. Oh you could.
You could have rappers that are like young Chili and it's actually, you know,
actually the less. Yeah, I don't know if there's a rapper just
wait away. Yeah, yeah, this is pigs. So let's jump straight
into it. Some of you will know what pitch oaks, that you'll heard
of pitch ogs, but I'm going to briefly explain what I know to be
pitch oaks. The word pig has it's different contexts in Ireland, which I
found all over the country. It kind of slips under different in behind different
curtains of meaning, but it typically means superstition, belief practice, or it
can mean a charmer or spell. That's that's kind of the original meaning of
a charmer or spell. Because much has been said it would be because I
got more from talking to my parents than I did from the internet, but
very little actually solid written. Like you'll there'll be a whole lot of waffle
around some American who believes that they know it, and a hell of a
lot of time tis pure or not their sculer. So I don't think we're
going to unmuddy those waters today. To be fair, what I think the
best thing that has come from when we're talking about things, when we hit
upon factual stuff, when we do hit factual stuff rather than opinion based ones.
I found is our brains tend to find old memories and stuff go wished
I found And that seems to be what pish oaks tend to be. Is
that that? Yeah, that I'm expecting a lot of that. Tom.
I'm very green to pish oaks right now. But I have a funny feeling
I've heard a lot of these and you and they, to be honest with
you, they're as malleable as you can imagine. It would seem they can
like there's ones up the road here that definitely i'd say they. I don't
know where they were casting stone, these chokes, these superstitions, yet you
I guarant fucking you won't have heard them anywhere else, do you know what
I mean? It's must be done this way, And as you said,
just have faire Tom there for good and for ill, it's a catch all
phrase. Pishogs there are a blessing on a course, Tom, they're a
blessing on the course. So like, typically if you were to just read
it in Wikipedia, and it is a it is a course, it is
malevolent to degree like the actual pischo. So like, the same term is
often used for general traditions like that, superstitions and everything else. Like I
said, like if you lost your way, you'll hear there's sometimes one if
you turn your socks inside out you'll find Joey back. That's a superstition,
but it falls under the Pisho umbrella a bit nowadays. Yeah, but like
you know, there's one where if you hear a knock at the door at
night, you should run and open the back door to let the fairies out.
I don't know what you were doing the fairies in the house anyway,
But again it's kind of a superstition. Maybe you know people with d d
D. I don't know. I don't a fucking like even right now,
I feel that I'm inviting courses down on me just by talking about this shit.
I fucking knew I shouldn't have done this podcast. Well, I would
find the link for when we post this for our Twitter people, really,
because you won't you won't be able to hope the link. I'll find the
link on YouTube. There was a great journalist. He goes around Ireland and
he interviews very interesting people. And I think I spoke, I think I
sent it, sent this clip onto you before. It's maybe a twenty five
minute interview. Oh yeah, And he does in fairness, he's he's not
a bit, he's not Louis Throw. He doesn't have the camera on him
at all. It's all POV and he's talking to Interesting Folk podcast and essentially
is what he's doing. And he meets this guy may or Go. He's
very West of Ireland, but a very astute sounded man, and he high
up and low down as as real as the sky is blue. This man
believes in the faith folk so and he could attribute a large amount of his
wealth and his luck because he seemed like a wealthy bloke, a wealthy farmer
to these But who am I? Who am I in this day of knowing
about the Annunaki and all the different things of this you know, Samerian text
and whatnot. Who knows? Maybe they're aliens of storts that are still here.
But anyway, will like that's let's get into it. Yeah, let's
let's let's so they are not go on course for longer than we have to.
Right. So, but in the all fairs, like I said,
they do fall under and tonight we will be talking about the full lumbers things.
But they do typically originally fall under darker meanings. So more than just
like wishing someone ill, like a foe, begrudging neighbor, or even the
fairies themselves might cast the pish oak in order to cause real, real harm
on somebody or their land by breath, you know, breathing life into it,
by using something that once lived. This was kind of the rule of
the ground zero of pish oaks, like this was using something that once lived
or might have lived. Now that's where it gets. The pishog is said
to be the most powerful when cast on maze Eve. So the eve of
May. So we're okay, we're over the hump. We're over the hump.
Yeah, maze eve from that time when the clock chimed midnight, if
you had a chimey clock the first light of dawn, if at this time
during those hours you were to cast a pish oak. Most often use an
egg raw rotten, but also a piece of old meat, a raven carcass
if you get your hands, because raven carcass comes up a lot. That
is, you ain't getting out of that one. If they somebody has dropped
the raven carcass or someone are similar, you did serious success. If you
did it right on Mayze eve and they were it was to be still on
their property. Come to follow morn comes sunlight. You've goosed them. You've
goosed them. So say the breaking of that egg released the course. You
might put it on a path outside the doorway. So like like if you
if you come out your door like like a little supernatural land mine. Yes
exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. So little
walk me through the process here, Tom. So I've pissed you off in
some way, shape, make or form. So let's say for a second
time, let's imagine use the power of her imaginations. Let's imagine I'm a
fucking dose. Right. Yeah, it's going to be hard for you to
don Okay, I've got it, you got it, you got you got
there quick, Tom. And I'm after pissing you off in some way,
shape, make or form. I'm after stealing land from underneath you or like
denied your plan and permission or like already didn't didn't let you out of it,
didn't let you out of the turn. Whatever is that I've done wrong
to you? And you're like, I'm a I'm a fucking cast a pistol
gun this, Kay, I'm going to curse this, Mazieve is a great
time to do it. If not, you know, we'll take whatever caution
we can get. But you're going to You're going to actually curse me.
You're going to like call upon all here present too. There doesn't seem to
be mistations. There doesn't seem to be any incantations that are required. You
just need to wish, like so you're manifesting it. Let's maybe there's a
chant, you know what I mean, there's you know, to talk about
mindfulness and everything that I'm guessing it's along the same line. So I'll take
an egg. I could leave it at your doorway. If I want to
your faith, your crops to fail, I could take a rotten egg at
the like it would seem anyway. The more read into this, the more
disgusting the feature. Whether it's a rotten I would bit of meat, a
rotten egg, a rock, a dead carcass of a crow slash raven.
Now some people, some people would don't give a shit about it. But
by all, by all accounts, farmers would walk around their farms on the
morning of the first to may you know or on those nights I should say
sorry, they would walk around it on me would like, yeah, I've
heard I have heard of this of lads who believed that there was going to
be a pitchoucast on them and would walk around for fear somebody would lay a
pitch ok because they would like they could go into the barn too, That's
the number one place that was popular. Go into the barn, stash the
egg somewhere in there, or break the egg on the hay and if if
so that they catleberut to eat it, chances are they would they'd all fall
ill. So but yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay. So
but like if I walk out and there's an egg on my doorstep, or
I noticed a bulge in the doormat and that could be an egg unnerneath it
if I jump over it, or like cut the trip wires to it.
Oh no, no, no, no, no. Once it's on your
once it's on your property, you're fucked. If you. If you're finding
it on me first, you're fucked. You're fucked. So that's it.
That's it. It's your gooset like because you need to have nipped that in
the bud by catching it the night before at the latest. So if you're
up before dawn, you catch that egg, you fuck it off your property.
You'll be all right. You find that fucking dawn has broken on the
first of me too late, too late, you'll have to bring in it.
Probably a fucking an Irish version. They didn't seem to be many ways
of backing out of it other than once you've been hit with this course other
you see. Well, I mean if they've if they have brought the fairies
in on it, then you're fucking double fucked. Okay, So not every
pit show is bringing down and and and and you know, I'm sure we'll
get into it, but we're just going to refer to the mouths they're given
name now the fairies. Yeah, once you invoke the fairies to to to
to ross tom O'Mahony's crops. Yeah, it's hard to call them buys off
right, there's little or no hope because I mean, once you've engaged their
services, that's it. Do you know what I mean? They're not they're
not backing up the truck like now. I mean, if you haven't in
your in your manifestations, if you haven't actually invited them to do it,
and you've done it on yourself by all accounts, you can ask that farmer,
say I was the bad basketbardidity you come to me and say, listen
while the cost I know you fucking did it. While the cost for you
to drop that and I can release you of it, or I can tell
you go fuck yourself. So yeah, but if the fay folk the fairies
are in on it, your ghost because apparently they don't they follow through,
they don't, they don't. Would now would be a good time in the
podcast Tom to just open up to the listeners and say, I believe every
fucking word of this. Yeah, mhm, I believe every syllable of this.
And I don't know whether it is that I believe it or that I
just don't want to fuck with it. We see, just I don't want
no part of this. There'll be folks listening to this going or I go
away out of it. But I could tell you here now you are probably
at most four generations away from being agricultural. There's very very few people in
Ireland, Like at one point these were heavy this is heavy duty stuff,
probably eighteen hundreds because the whole country was sucking agricultural at that stage, or
agree adjacent at the very least, as you'd say yourself agious. But look
at this evening, we will be talking about all Irish superstitions. It won't
just be purely the deathly horrendous ones. But I wanted it. I wanted
to talk the origins of the name Pishogu. But it's not that it's become
watered down, but it's just become easy for people down through the years to
just lob all these Irish things because lots of nationalities have lots of different you
know, lots and lots of different superstitions. But I think I do believe
a lot of them started here because let's be honest, a million of us,
that's a lot of people. A million of us during the Great Potato
Famine headed in all directions and we brought a lot of stuff with us.
Not just that, but like if you went really digging, you'd find that
Ireland's essentially make a slash ground zero for all things spooky and supernatural. Like
I mean, it literally is. There's no maybe about it. We invented
Halloween, Tom, well, we invented holl do as far as I'm aware,
we didn't know we did. We did. Like there's like you go
back into the real druidy things like Christmas Jesus Birthday was actually in July sometime,
but it was actually moved as a result of paganism. Yeah Ireland,
No, yeah, I don't want the funk with the fairy folk, do
you know? So they were like, no, look at we'll just have
the big celebration when you you have us. So don't worry. Don't worry,
We'll just move it around for you. Okay, Okay, So pishoas
Tom courses, I can. I can cast a pishog on you by leaving
something gross like fucking all smashed up like old rotten stakes and whatnot and leaving
them on it and and and and and do I have any Do I have
any blowback from that? Do I owe anyone a debt? If I cast
a pistow on you and your crops fail? Am I on the lamb to
somebody? Now? No, if you've done it, off your own back.
Then you're okay, like that's you, that's on you. I mean,
you're just a rockingcor bad bastad for doing it. But if you have
made a pact with the fairies, there didn't seem to be hard and fastest
to what they wanted. But if they wanted it, they were taking it,
do you know what I mean? So it was open season. They
wanted your property in any way, they wanted gold, they want the money.
They were taking it like you know, your second born child or some
ship, exactly that. And they could be as malevolent as they want it.
You cross them, you're done. So it was it was real tony
soprano stuff like so if you haven't say it sounds really organized crime that if
you get listener, I need my I need a competitors grocery shop smashed up,
and yeah they'll come and smash it up. But then all of a
sudden, I'm asked to hide a gun or some shit. Well you remember
at the wedding in the Godfather, Yeah I remember, Yeah, remember he
came in. He's like, you know these guys, you know they were
they my daughter. He's like, where do you come to me before?
Now? You see, the guy tried to start it out off his own
back. Didn't work. It didn't work. So now he's in with Don
Carlone and he says, look for this, we will do this for you,
but I will call on you at another time. I won't tell you
what it is yet. I don't know what it is yet, yeah,
but we'll call on you. And that's essentially what the fairy folk would do.
So I can't. I can't. I can't confirm what it is that
I've never encanted. I've never brought these boys on board before, never looked,
you know, because I've had a fucking slew, a bad luck,
lady Tom, and it can only be, you know, explained by this
exact thing you're talking about. And listen, I don't know like yoush me,
I'll pisho you so I will. Well, I'm telling you now,
just keep an eye in your wheel bins because so look at strapping. We
are going to go. We're gonna go heavy through a lash of these and
we'll give our own kind of take on it. And I would love before
we kick into it if we've missed any if you're living in fucking leathrum,
if you're living in west Waterford and you are gone. Jesus Christ Sore,
we have one below here. I'd love It'll be class to hear it like,
so feel free to leave a voice note on the fucking on the Tom
and Jerry Instagram page. If tweet us whatever you gotta do, let us
know, because I guarantee as soon as I started asking people about this,
we're like, oh yeah, because I mean there's a black cat stuff and
that's a lot of these things. A lot of these things I mean I
have originated here because I mean it wasn't it wasn't so much the people were
putting it down. Ah well, you know it was. It was the
jack boot of the church at the time. I think a lot of these
when to go really far back, really far back. Yeah, do you
know what I mean, you'd be you'd be surprised what predates Christianity in this
country down I'll tell you that much exactly Like Christy Moore, he's he's been
around that long, you know, did his first gig at fucking New Grange.
Right, So picking it off may Eve, like I said, you
know what I mean, it's the Inde five hundred from Malevident to carrying on.
So if you, like I said, if you've found an egg or
eggs or randomly have been held not a meat of some sort of rotting on
your property that really shouldn't be there, you're kind of fucked. Some bad
bastard has an infa thanks for one around here. And I believe you've heard
of a two because we talked about this before. Is a specifically tied together
bundle of small sticks with a black ribbon, yes, yeah, yeah,
and that is actually and for any soft eared people here, this is officially
what it's called. It's called a faggot of sticks, yes, and it's
tied together. And if that's found, if you find that may morning anywhere
in your property with a black ribbon tied around it, which I if I
could look through the side of my office right now, that field next door
there was four of them found in one in each corner of it. Yeah,
the old man almost bought that field and didn't as a result of that.
This is this is the power of the pisho Tom. I mean,
like, here's the thing, right, rotten egg board could have dropped it.
I suppose you know, hunk a meat board could have dropped it.
Board's dropped shit all the time, right yeah, but a very specifically tied
together a bundle of sticks with a piece of black ribbon is clearly something that
somebody has done. There's neither left nor right of it. And if I
find that anywhere on my property, I'm moving house. Fuck it. God
the bank can take it. Oh yeah, oh god almighty. Yeah.
And so so I was just that. I remember asking is that a thing?
Or did I imagine it? And know? The old man went,
yeah, he's always looking to buy that old field. And it was a
bad old It still is a bad old fucking field. We as fuck it
was going to take a ton of draining, and we don't know, well,
we don't know it, don't It wouldn't it wouldn't have seemed it was
the owner of the time, even though he wasn't the merriest chap he'd ever
meet, he was up for selling it, do you know what I mean?
Right is? And we don't fully know who owns it now, so
and nothing has been done with it. The odd old fucking horse would show
up in it, but like if you looked in there, it would like
if you could had a bit of a smoke machine Jerry and said it going
on an early morning, and you just wanted to get an establishing shot for
say, a creepy start of a fucking horror movie. That's what that field
looks like. It's all Russias and shit. It's he was well, he
was well rid of the fucking he would have broken his fucking heart anyway.
I I sincerely hope this clears up some questions as to why there's a housing
crisis in this country at the moment. There's some fields you just don't fucking
build on, and it's because of shit like this, like oh, I'm
gonna buy that field and I'm gonna put a load of houses on it,
and I'm going to develop the land. And then someone's like some neighbors like
no, you're fucking not and throws a pitch up mistakes onto it, and
you're like, okay, fuck yeah, leave a b and here's the thing,
and we'll get around to one that we discussed in a couple of a
couple more that ties into the same thing. But I can tell you here
and now most digger men who are the first people into that site. If
you want to go back and listen to Tom and Jerry build a house,
yes literally the which I people keep on asking me, and I need to
put up the transcript somewhere, Jerry, I don't know where I would put
it up. Where could I put that up? I don't know. I
have the entire transcript. People have asked me for it. Some people have
written it down by hand, as gone back and forth. And I feel
terrible because I have to think written out for people. But I will put
that up somewhere. If I could put a document to Twitter, I will,
or we'll just give it away Tom put On, fucking Patroon or something.
Okay, get some money out of these guys. But digger men are
the first people in. And I can tell you here now you can say
what you want. You go, oh, well, he's not a degree
education. You go. That's the motherfucker that's making more money than fucking a
surgeon right now. So he's as smart as I need him to be.
He tracks that machine in there. Day one, he finds a bundle of
sticks. He's going back up onto the fucking low loader with that track machine.
He's gonna liking thanks and touching it because it's better. It's if you've
got one hundred thousand your machine. It's better not to risk it because you
got to work somewhere else. It's better not to risk it. And some
people will say it's a load of superstitious nonsense. Drive your digger onto it.
Hey, you drink your fucking digger on. Yeah, oh sell fire
and to go do it yourself. Go do it yourself, because vibes are
the big thing now, man, you know the religion. Vibes a big
thing, like if you lived in London or la right now, it's all
about vibes. Man, Well, who's to say that that isn't I'm gonna
tell you a thing like Tom, Vibes stick for a long fucking Oh they
do, they do? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever
stood stood in Nouse, Fitch, I'll tell you one thing. You'll feel
fucking vibes there, and you didn't. You need never have known the ours
that went on. You just know there is not it's just not a good
fucking place. But it is the same thing, I believe anyway. That's
but you just ain't getting in't getting your job done. If you find a
bundle of sticks inside that gate, forget about it. Moving on, Tom,
moving on, moving on, somebody's aren't. Like I said, a
lot of these are bad lucks, some are good luck. Somebody's aren't as
dark as all that. But I wanted to. I wanted to get the
dark, dark stuff out of the way. Here's the thing. Something you
wouldn't often see. Number two, something you wouldn't often see. But if
you do, I say, go back to bed. By all accounts,
it's not a good day. I first thing in the morning. Yes,
you meet a whistling woman. A whistling woman. Yeah, you don't often
meet a whistling woman. Not a lot of women tend to whistle. My
wife can't whistle to her shame, she's wishes she could. I don't think
i've ever Have you heard your wife whistle? I don't think I've ever heard
a woman whistle. I don't think I have either. Maybe on television some
folk band, some Polish folk band or something like yotz yott you know,
or something to that it you know, that's that's okay. So if if
I made a woman whistling any shame, whistling a tune or not just whistling
for her dog or some such, because I might have heard that, all
right, Like I bet you haven't, and I really, I really want
to put this one. Listeners heard of heard of female listeners, or anybody
who has a woman in their life, If you know a whist of a
whistling woman, please let us know, because I cannot think of one.
I asked my mother, she can whistle? I said, I can?
Because why you asked, why are you asking? I said, well,
apparently she goes. A whistling woman is bad luck in the morning. Went
yeah, she went, there you go, then I can, I can,
I can, Yeah, okay, I can. I can see that.
And that's that's where Mary O'Mahoney left it. She just left. She
left it at that one, that one Tom falls into the I would be
less inclined to, you know, be perturbed by a whistling woman in the
morning, but like, you know, because there's no she's not, you
know, just walking around whistling to hecks people. She's not like I'm just
going to walk up and down the driven road whistling and fucking hecks and fields.
We can only we can only speculate where the origins of it happened.
Maybe somebody walked into a manhole while we're looking at perplexed at a woman's swimming
or whistling, I should say. And from then on it was a bad
luck thing. It's like, I don't get what there was no nobody broke
it down. Didn't be any breakdown. It was just like, yeah,
whistling woman, so good. I'm like, okay, right, I just
made interesting men. Men can whistle all they want, all they want,
all they want. Man and patriarchy at work. An I'll be honest,
there's a there's a few are bit hardened women. It's a bit hard in
women. Not I mean, nothing happens to the women as a result.
But it's like, no, it seems to be that that it's us poor
men that are just going about our day to day business, and we land
around some lady whiskey or great men minding their own business and their own business.
Women show up fucking whistling the Taylor Swift tune on our headphones, and
then all of a sudden my days ruined. Fuck that this is it.
This is shoes on the table, Jerry, Shoes on the table is a
thing. Time you've heard that, You've heard that? Yeah, yeah,
yeah, shoes on a table, Like here's the thing. Time I always
heard the shoes on the table as pis shows go shoes on the table.
Was you don't put new shoes on a table, as you say, if
you go and you buy shoes and they're in a box, you don't put
that box on the table. But then it was like, you don't put
shoes that you have worn on the table. But I guess that's just more
of a cleanliness thing that you've been walking the stand and dog shit, you
don't put it on the table, I would imagine. So, but I
would say that's exactly where it comes from to the maybe, but they didn't
understand germs. We only don't understand germs. This in relative recent times.
I can put that one down to like a mother and olden days or whatnot.
And the kids are putting, you know, the one pair of shoes
between twelve kids, just putting on the table, and she's like, how
will I get these fucking kids to not put these shitty, blake covered shoes
on the fucking table. All right, I'll just tell them like the fairies
are going to take them away because they don't like shoes on the table.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean because for the most part,
people made it. When I was reading all of these ones. It came
up a few times and it seemed to be like they were giving you an
example of new shoes on the table. So they were saying they were giving
you a scenario. They were like, so you know when you get new
shoes and you put them on the table. I'm like, I don't know
that. It's all why are you gonna make But it would seem to be
that would be the only reason you would ever put shoes on the fucking table.
But I do think it's most likely to use shoes, dirty shoes thing.
Yeah, you still won't find me putting fucking new shoes and or old
shoes on the table there. Yeah, And it's not like I purposely like
you know, okay, and I'm going to put these shoes on the table
and inspect them right like that. You come in from the shops with like
a your shotopping bags and your pluck them on the table and if they contain
shoes or carrots or fucking you know, davascon it's going on the table.
You know what I'm saying, Like, I listen, a lot of these
things essential purchases. A lot of these things won't feature an awful lot in
your life. But some of them, some of them do right if you
can avoid a dividers how simple throwing water out the door? Right do you
ever have? Do you ever fuck water out the door for one reason or
another? Yes? Yea some stage with within an hour of talking to you,
Tom, Yes, Well would you mind next time you do it,
just let a little shout out, little shout out, because most likely if
there is a fairies anywhere near around your house, it's going to be by
a doorway. You're gonna doust the poor horror with water. Yeah, he's
not going to take Well, that does it. You're not going to have
a good day to following day. You're gonna sleep like fucking terribly, gonna
brutal dreams like he ain't gonna do you in, like he's not cutting the
brakes and your fucking citron. But what I'm saying is that most like you're
gonna stub your toe. There's going to be a bill show up that you
weren't expecting. That's sort of shit, do you know what I mean?
So just little hey, just before you throw it out. Okay, we
should probably take a second here, Tom, to talk about these wee folk.
Yeah, when you say a fairy yeah, I know what you mean.
And I know that you don't mean tinker Bell. I know you don't
mean like a little princess looking fairy wings, little sequined dress Salerina, Yeah,
right, flying ball flying Ballerina. It's not that right, No,
that's the Disney version of the very powerful folk that are known to have lived
here for millennia. In Ireland, we're living in their spot. This is
the Yeah, we're living in theirs. But they were here long before we
whatever much wherever we came up out in North Africa or across from the CAUCUSUS
wherever we did, or came down from the fucking wherever they believe we came
from. Those folks were here long before. We're talking more like spirits,
Like they're not creatures, are they? Oh? Yeah, they do.
They do, like I mean, by all the little people, by all
accounts, they're little people. Are about waist height, about the size of
a three for three year old. But they can appear or disappear. They
can slip between realms, they can they're what's what's the what is it transcendental
or whatever? There might be something to do with their teeth, but they
can they can shift basically faster than basically through dimensions and through time to a
degree. Once again, I want to stress for the listeners. I believe
all this. Yeah, yeah, every word. I'm having every bit,
every bit of it, because I especially am because I'm back living in the
countryside where these fellas tend to dwell, not saying that they don't dwelling inside
the greater pale, because they were again there long before Yea and Dublin became
in Dublin. All anybody tells me about the area that I currently live in
is that they remember it when it was all fields. Yeah. Yeah,
possibly a couple of ring forts somewhere around. Oh that's within living memory.
And I doubt think all County Council worried too much about clearing forts in a
good manner, keeping it liquidy, Jerry, keeping it liquidy. So you
know the way I used to even do a bit about being so country that
I still can't help even when I lived an inch of court to throw out
that last drop of tuck, that last droppertit. That isn't for me.
Oh you're throwing our tea for the wee bays. This is the thing,
it's, yeah, so you know, you see you're throwing them out a
nice refreshing drink from the dog's bowl. I think it's more of a respecting
than anything else, that you're not just going to be a you know,
an absolute glutton and wolfed the lot down in front of them without offering them
a cup of tea. You're offering them anything. I think it's to show
that listen, I ain't going to have it all. So it's I get
maybe it is like porn, a little out of your forty for your homies,
you know, piece of Yeah, you know what I mean. Maybe
it is a little of that. But I think the idea is that you're
not a complete fucking glutton because they're not fond of humans and especially what we're
turning into of lake like I mean, course, you know what I mean.
We're completely out of sync with nature. They're completely in sync with nature.
And I think the tea thing, I think it's I don't know what
it is, but I'll be honest with your time. I always thought with
tea it was like your last bit of tea has like tea. I always
call it like tea sand what tea leaves used to be a thing, and
it's still even even with tea bags, you still get like tea yeah you
get, yeah, you get the brainy shit. But like I mean,
if you go into like well now, if you go into like fancy places
I fell and unburned, you'll get tea leaves if you want. You know,
you're spitting fleas for the next half. Your tea is fucking gone the
bottom of a cup of coffee. It's got like coffee. Yeah it does,
Yeah it does. It's got silt silts at the bottom. Yeah yeah,
yeah that so welcome to that. I listen, I'm just reading when
I've never reading. This is apparently to show that we in Glutton's and we
can we don't have to finish all of it in front of them. Tone
it down a bit, is what they're saying. No, I don't know
they have to spit out the last bit of tob their own. I don't
know that. Are you supposed to do that too? But well, you
know, they can get like you know, I'll tell you what they can
get, Tom when I get out of a car. They can get all
the wee bits of sausage roll I was eating, right, snows snows.
Yeah, yeah, well, sticking with tea Jerry, what what hand are
you? You left the right? Imagine you're stirring in the uppers. Somebody
wants sugar. I don't know you're sugar man, but somebody wants sugar.
You want to start it in even you stir in your milk? Oh,
we start it. I started anti clockwise with morayand Block. Is that bad?
Very bad? Come very bad? Yeah, anti clockwise with morand Yeah.
Naturally it's not supposed to the way you're to say. This is why
I'm the way I am, Tom, this is how you are the way
you are. You know all those bad luck stories everybody who's been with us
that long time through the you know the seven, the sixth series seven now
seven series of Tom and Jerry showy things have started McBride's day terribly and his
day has just gone from the bad. Sure, okay, okay, okay.
So I don't want to go all BuzzFeed here, Tom, But so
you've been starting your te rung all this time. Here's what you should be
doing. Start just starts clockwise. Start clockwise. There's a reason why the
clock goes that way. There's a reason why the toiler goes that way.
There's a reason why. I don't know, there's there's a reason for it
anti clockwise. I mean, why the know you gotta remember. I can
remember us clocks, Tom, right, I remember, it's like sundowns and
shit. I remember being corrected, corrected on stirring anti clockwise tea, and
I cannot be I cannot for the left me remember who this may not be
a fairy folk thing and maybe a devil thing, because you know, the
left hand of the katoga and all the rest of the left handed the devil
and everything else. I don't know, but I remember being corrected because I
think I think I actually was coming on being left handed, because I eat
the wrong way around with the farc knife still. But it was just kind
of corrected out of me. But I find myself still doing the odd thing
with the left hand. But I think it is a lefty handed devil thing.
I think so. And it just t Tom or is it all swirlable
liquids? So all swirlable liquids? Any So, let me ask you a
question. If you've got a nice spirit in your hand there at the end
of the nineteen a half one in your hand, right with your brandy or
whatever your tipple is, right, Yeah, you swirl it before you drink
it. Tom, how do you swirl that? Yeah, swirls anti clockwise.
Now that you say, well, listen, it's already called ish caabaha.
So it is evil water anyway. So should I be drinking it?
Probably not. I've already shaken hands, but himself the divil if that's the
case, So okay, So anybody wouldn't the sound of our voices that drinks
liquids, it doesn't sound like it's a fucking great day for you, to
be honest. Yeah, yeah, you remember back when you lived in the
country, Jerry, You remember you lived back in the country. Or you
have a tip back up the road, and sometimes not saying you pop outside
for a fact, but maybe sometimes you just want to step outside and actually
see the stars again. You take a deep, old breath, you're stand
there and join yourself. Maybe it's around I don't know, early spring,
and all of a sudden you hear the most blood curdling scream come across the
fields from you. And I'll have that once or twice Tom, Yes,
yeah, yeah, well said to be the banshee screaming and that is essentially
now. I mean it's broad to say that someone is going to die because
quite literally, as we're speaking, probably four people have died. Do you
know what I mean? This is it. People are dying continuously, the
same way people are being born continuously. I don't know. I didn't get
the There was some arguments to say, somebody, you know, related,
he is going to die. Somebody fucking nearby is going to die. So
within a near shot of it, apparently somebody is going to die. Within
the sound of the banche's screaming that blood curdling shit. I put it up
on my Instagram maybe about three months ago. And of all people are very
good friend Jim Elliott, who's very very city and very very from Washington,
nearly pissed his bands. He went, what in all folk is that sound?
That is not That's not of dessert. I mean it's not, Jim,
so I let him down the path that said, well, I mean,
arguments would say that it is the band. She as more of a
person who's probably in touch with nature than most people. It's most likely a
randy vixen. That's the reality of it. But yeah, I mean,
like you know, I had always put it down, Tom, because I've
been I've been listening out for the band she since I was five years of
age. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been listening out to the band
for the band She's since I fucking learned what the phrase was. And I
was always I was very susceptible to band she's because they haunt always and Max
for example, its correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, so
we're we're you know that I on the jeans. I only spoke to the
lads from Monster Fuzz podcast last weekend. They said exactly the same thing,
Max and Os get an awful time, And the way he described it to
me was that she was quite sexy and she was gonna. I was like,
okay, I've never thought of the band she's been hot, But that's
changed the whole perspective now. Yeah. I mean, a banshee can be
very hot or she can be a hag. There doesn't appear to be like
a middle ground. There's there's just not an office friend looking. And what
you don't get with a banshee is like a seven. Ah, Hey,
so you guys are violent like banshee? I don't say, but here's the
thing. Come, I was always told that you need to listen out for
a banshee crying and weeping and keening, meaning right now I'm going to screams.
I was like, nah, man that that that's a fox getting ridded.
It's a you know, it's not a banshee. A banshee is more
like a moan or a whale or a cry or weep or keen. Now
I'll go to I'm going to tie in the keen thing and my hypothesis,
my supernatural hypothesis with this. And this is one that i'd heard. I've
asked a few people now and they'd never heard of this one. And actually
jumping too, because I didn't realize I should have had this one alongside it.
It's very it's brilliant that you said keening. So that's kind of that's
that wailing over and back, you know, like you'll see something. You
know, you'll see funerals, you know, traditional looking funerals, not so
much here anymore. People tend to stay a bit stoic. But you see
the people from more emotional, lead driven countries where horrific things have happened.
You'll see mothers by the coffin and they're keening. What a chat back the
rope. By the way, his name was Derby. How great of a
name is that? Yeah? Yeah, his first name was Derby. And
this woman had died the day before, and the plan was they were all
a day or two before, and the plan was to all go to our
funeral. They're going to get the horse and cart and head down to the
village to the funeral. They lived up a long lane way, and he
walked down. For whatever reason he had to walk down. He heard what
he can only describe as bad. She's whale wailing coming from the bottom of
the the boreen. Does it just go? But you know, does their
driveway? Technically? He walked down only to see the dead woman leaning and
squailing like no human could ever whale back and forth, back and forth,
up up on the ditch in fucking hysterics. The woman could not be could
not be consoled because she was also dead. He pecked, He pegged it
back up the road for all he was worth, he says, good God,
Almighty, get why the woman was out of the house. His wife
was out of the house. He says, why aren't you wearing Why aren't
you wearing something of hers? So what o God, I forgot all about
it. This would do it quick. She's at the bottom of the road,
keleaning, she's wailing, and his wife ran back in. They had
known about this. This is a thing you were to do, was to
wear an item of the clothes, clothing of the dead person to the funeral
to stay on somebody in the living, and I would allow them to pass
over to the other side. Had you not done that, you buried her,
she would stay in limbo forever. I E no man's land, I
E purgatrem paps or that's weird, you know what. The shutter flies up,
the beetlejuice, the souls that have you know, that was where she
was going to stay forever. That's an interesting spin on a tomue that the
actual corpse was the bandsheet. Yes, yes, that's you know, Smokey
and the Bandit three. Smoky is the bandit. You know, that's an
It's an interesting take on the subject. Yeah, so that's that's about the
most horrific shit I've ever heard of. I did some deep digging at this,
Jerry, I did some deep ticket for you. I always thought I
thought I was I thought I was done with all the ways in which a
bandhee could terrify me. But here we are finding new ones. What can
I say? So I knock at the door to now we said, if
you open the back to let the ferry out, it'll be a good look.
But here's the thing. You open the door at nice nobody there,
Someone's going to die. That's Jesus, I know, I know, yeah,
I mean, you know it's not like if you hear a knock at
the door and you open it and there's no one there, then like you're
going to have a cheap gas bill this month, you know what I mean?
No, No, it's it's something something like most likely death in the
family, maybe immediate, distant, I don't know, there was nothing specific.
Jesus Christ. Also, how big is your family? Yeah? And
how long is this? Like you know, if you hear a knock at
your door, you're going to hear about a debt in the next week,
the next calendar year, Like what are we? What are we there?
Listen? I honestly think people like to create a cliffhangers from themselves back in
the day when there was no fucking telly, do you know what I mean?
There's just some of this ship is like oh, lads, like there's
someone kind of going okay, all right, Jesus Christ. This is like
like the whistling. This is like fucking your man and the mummy returns,
you know, I mean this is cursed. That is curseds. Now here's
the last I'm gonna start getting. We're gonna start getting into some a bit
lighter, a bit bit more fun once. But this is the one that
ties back in the very first one. We talked about finding a bundle of
stakes. This one ties back in with the same sort of men. If
that would come upon the that may be the while the housing crisis is where
it is in the country. Because you sure as shit. And this is
how the first chat, our first chat came about of this when we were
doing last year, when we wrapped up last year's never cut alone hawthorn or
blackthorn tree in a field by Loane, we mean that it can't see another
one. I ain't cutting that in anyway. I may. I I make
shit, I make corporates, cops then a little bit to tidy them up
if they need it. But I'll be honest with you. The new place
we'll have to buying this one sitting right by the side and attached was like,
that's beautiful. Should we leave it? I went, oh, Jesus
Christ, I'm not the fucking house before. Not that you joking me?
And you want to even see the way it looks there. It's picture perfect,
Thank god. It isn't something nearly ugly heapys shit, but it literally
looks like celebrations are made around this thing at one point, like and there
is a castle in the problem right adjacent to the property where that kind of
should have gone down. Big, I ain't not. I cannot tell you
the amount of golf courses, the amount of properties that we could have built
when I was back in the building game. That had to be drastically changed
as a result by the art because the architects were just drawn on the surveyed
They just get a drawing of the surveyed land showing the contours. Nothing too
big to worry about. Bushel of trees over here, not that shit.
We'll put twenty seven houses in there, collection of fucking round things over here,
Not that shit. We're gonna fucking building rake more houses in here.
It is until you get the dig amount to sight, and I can tell
you here and now. Once he sees one of them things, it's like
fuck that ching ching ching ching ting ting kings little track machine tracks just start
going in the other direction. Because I've had young digger drivers have said not
a fucking hope. I've had old digger drivers saying not a fucking hope,
because those are the guy You can't build shit without those guys. Or they're
they're the bus, they're the buyers that have to knock it. It's coming
home with them. Yeah, because the amounted like early doors in the guy's
career. He told me, he's this time, I knocked three of those
in my in my entire career, he said, I'll tell you now,
this wasn't some long fucking six months later, I lost the two bullshit.
This was literally wild breaking. While knocking it down or while the day was
finishing up, something happened the fucking machine. I pissed fucking oil everywhere.
I lost the fucking track, blew the fucking engine, I bust a fucking
I hit a fucking electrical cable that it wasn't supposed to be there. Like
nasty shit has happened, and every fella, every fella I've talked, and
I've talked to lots and lots of fucking these guys. I mean lots.
These are the most frequent guys I would have talked to when I was working
to buildings, and they would not touch him. Golf courses, we had
a Nick Faldo designed one fallow landed down the chopper fucking raging, and he
was like, fuck fucking I'll fucking do it myself. And they were like,
well, you can go get your own fucking machine, mister fellow.
I'm all right. They weren't not doing it, then, Okay, I
gotta I gotta tell you to. I'm like, I'm not a religious man,
and I'm not really at the back of it all, I'm not really
a superstitious man, and I'm not, you know, overly cautious with my
health or my money, pretty much anything to be perfectly honest with. He's
not even joking. He like he doesn't even lock his car in Dublin,
Like he's yeah, it's just, you know, you know, a foolish
man in many many ways. You're turning around and tell me, I'll give
you ten grand to walk over to that loan bush and snap a twig of
it. I'm not doing that shit to Nope, nope, I'm not touching.
I'm not fucking with a lone bush. You want to get a twig
off that bush, you get it. You're good self, and I'm not
alone. Tom. You talk about fields with lone bushes on it, and
I wish, I wish to god I knew where this was. I think
it's down in Wicklow, in the sort of Curriclo Beach area, because we
met it a couple of times, and I think it was when we were
down there on holidays. There's like a T junction right in the road,
and if you could imagine a T junction, cars can drive to the left,
cars can drive to the right, and right in the middle of the
road there's a bush. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah tree. If someone
if that rings a bell with someone listening here, definitely seen it. Yeah
it could be. Maybe it could be driving down to a gig. You
brought me down to Tom down your way, but I definitely drove down that
road and there's a fucking tree in the middle of road. Driving down the
road, my wife said to me, why the fuck did they put a
bush there? And I goes, they didn't put a bush there, they
put a road around the bush that was already there. Well, here's the
thing. Even if you did put a bush like it would seem something as
are still supers. Like the parents here have willows. Right, they've got
a bunch of willows. They're as old as the house. They're forty years
old. The out lad was getting a break of fucking trees dropped. They
were at dangerous levels, like the fucking trees everywhere here. And he's getting
four or five of these trees dropped by these right handy fellas. And the
older guy of the two, when do you want that willow out of it?
Here too? And he was like, literally, the fucking house is
named after this, No, I don't want that fucking thing. And the
the younger guy who's doing all the song on when I ain't cutting that fucking
thing anyway. Yeah, and your man was double the old ladders, like,
H'm sure if I wanted to gone, would you not? He says,
oh no, a fucking willow tree, not a fucking prayer. No,
no, no, he's the thing. He's willows are magical, so
I ain't touching it. And no, in all fairness, nobody took the
piss out him. He went all right, that's the guy with the saw.
Because it's it's not just it's it's it's it's it's not just a lone
bush in the middle of the field of a field. N Ye, show
you a picture of a lone bush, Tom, Like that is like clear
blue sky either side of a ten ache or stretching far on the dist either
side of it, and just this one lone fucking tree right in the god
damn middle of it that you know you'd pull it just for the fucking the
look of it. Yeah, Right. It's like, do you ever get
like, do you ever get like, I don't know if it's your if
it's just me, Tom, do you ever get like one bad bast of
a black hair that'll grow out of your shoulder, just like I get one
recurring like every six months out the end of my nose for someone known fucking
you. Just just just this one random fucking hair that grows out of somewhere
you like, pull that thing to fuck. It's got to go. It's
gotta go. So you think, Okay, I the lone trees, I'll
leave them be, Hey, Tom, Maybe it's just every now and then
a specific tree in the mix of other trees. That you're not supposed to
cut down. And I know I've known since I was five years of age
what happens when you pull down a lone bush or you cut down the wrong
tree, Tom, And you know what it is. You know I was
threatened with, you know the story I hearn fucking spooked me to this day.
Thorns in your bed, Tom, Yes, yes, yeah, yeah,
yeah, that's why it's the hawthorn of the blackthorn tree. I do
know. I know a guy and I think he's come up on the podcast
day before. He when he met his son the other day, and he's
come up on the podcast definitely at some point because rock Hard Bastard, one
of the Knights as fellows he'd ever meet. He was cutting through a hedge.
He's got a hold through a hedge for a big sheep farmer. And
it was a hot thorn, a blackthorn bush, not really a proper tree,
just a fucking arley old knot of a thing, and he he got
a prick of it in the finger, didn't look after it, big fucking
handed man. You know, probably he has been bitten a million times by
a million things. Didn't get it looked after. Within a week he lost
that finger. Gone. Doctor went to the docks at this fucking things throbbing,
and he goes, yeah, good thing you're in because set semi was
about kick in. We got to take the finger. He's a fuck off.
I've never been like this man's hands, you know, the hands that
most people listening won't have ever seen. These hands, but they because they
don't exist in most society. But the kind of hands that you have only
seen maybe five times in your life, those hands that literally I don't get
a fuck. If you're the hardest Bruce Lee, I'm odd fucking Mohammad Hooly
fucking it doesn't matter if these things land on your neck good night. Like
this guy's not doing calisthetics. But if he went into the UFC and from
a starting point they went, okay, hands around each other's neck and see
who wins, you're dead in four seconds. Because these pause just they're like
they're driven by hydraulics, Like they're just they used gravel as moisturizer. There's
like there's so little to our hands in comparison to these hands. It's like
they're actually wearing globes. They're just like the giant fat hands and he lass
they could not the tiniest little pick of this thing. Yeah, like a
fucking snake bite finger gone. So like, if you did not plant that
tree, Tom leave at the funck alone. Okay, simple as that,
My my, my old man. I honestly believe it was like his retirement
fund or his old age fund that he planted to load the trees in the
eighties. And yeah when he when he crested seven, he's just started chopping
them all down. He honestly looks like he couldn't have planned it better,
like, you know, plant them all, let him grow, then clear
them all out. Ah yeah, because what has he got chopping down?
He's just chopping down random trees that he you know, they're his fucking trees.
He knows some's he put them there. He can take them out,
that's no problem. But if it's some other random tree that was there already,
or he doesn't know where it was, he wasn't his stay planted as
a as a as a border boundary round like that. I think it's stay
there. Yeah yeah, yeah right, so yes, that is your heart
has probably been darkened throughout the last Jesus. Near the hour of the podcast,
I'm about to brighten it with We're gonna rip through the last bunch of
these, and these they're a bit more lighter in good news toime. Yeah,
look, they're a bit on the lighter side of things. It's just
in case people hadn't heard of these. Some of them they will have,
some of them they won't have. But this is there's a couple of fun
ones in here, So you know, the one that chi knows means a
pending fight. So if you do get an itch, you knows there's a
fight coming. But the way to disarm this is to just actually initiate a
little punch in the show or ask your friend to initiate a little punch in
the shoulder that cancels it out. So then you know it's gonna be punching
a punch and it's just a little tapping the shoulder, bank don't bang bang.
So now you've you've absolutely you know, you've taken out that missile in
the sky. Yes, these are your little sort of iron domes. Yeah,
exactly, exactly. Now we've still there's a couple of bad, bad
luck ones in here, but ones that kind of make me maybe smile a
little bit for the sake of But if a weasel stands up straight on its
back legs and stares directly at you, yes, bad luck. What of
course it fucking is, Tom. If a fucking weasel rears back and goes
all king Cobra on you and fucking looks he dead in the eye, I'll
be like number one. Okay, hello, the first weasel I've ever seen
him alive. I don't believe I've ever seen a weel. I've never seen
a wheel ermine with grab pine Martins are also back around the place. I've
seen none of these little fockers. I've seen five squirrels in my life.
Tom. I got squared up to buy the first proper red squirrel I ever
saw, But that was in Boston, and this thing had it was a
Boston like everybody wants to fight in. I wasn't surprised, Yeah, I
wasn't surprised. Blackberries. You love a wild BlackBerry, Jerry, do you?
I will take a boil BlackBerry. Well, don't you dare eat one
after set Mber twenty ninth, which is Saint Michaelmas's Day, because if you
start scoffing them into October after that, the devil will have pissed all over
him. Well, okay, but that that stands the reason that you don't
eat unripe blackberries. Oh no, they'll have gone past right, They'll have
gone past it by this stage, not to self. If there's anything like
the wild raspberries around here. I don't know what's happened this year, but
the birds are cunts. Normally, Normally there was a plethor of them to
be had, they'd be jams glore being made over the mother's house. Not
a fucking not so much as they didn't even leave a note the fucker's well.
I mean, I do believe it's the Irish woodpecker that has shown up,
who's believed to be extinct here in Ireland. But the Irish woodpecker has
shown up a family of them. But I do think the count is gone
around chomping all the raspberries. But anyway, that aside, September twenty nine
put it in the calendar people. I'm telling you right now that is Saint
Michaelmas's Day. There's a few things happen on Saint Michelema's Day. I think
they this harps back to harvest, the time stuff and all the rest of
You're right, was to have your bad day? Yeah before it was in
Michaelmas day. Yeah, have your have your berrying wrapped up at that stage
because there's you know, you're bringing in wheat, barley, you know,
all the stuff at that stage. Have your fucking stuff done by that stage
because you're honkering down for the winter. Got have your ship done. But
just to let you know, if you do eat it into October and you
find a couple of ones because of global warming and whatnot that they they progressed
into October, can't touch them. The devil has pissed on them. If
that's your thing, go for it. That's yeah, I mean, like
is it is? It is like you know, you say, the devil
is pissed on them, Tom, and I'm here like that's bad, right,
That's what I mean. You're probably not like a little it's not there's
a bit freaky. What can I say? It's getting a little freevious.
Maybe it's like you know, like you know that coffee, the coffee beans
that like the monkeys eating yeah shit out yeah yeah, and people are into
that, yeah, Scotch coffee. Yeah yeah. If that's your things,
that's not this so it's not artisanal devil pissed berries. I think we just
I think we've just we've just yeah, I think we've trademark trademark finding love
jar. I mean, we've talked about how we've met met our women in
our lives and all the rest of it. But if you were ever mightily
curious and you didn't know maybe there was a few of them on the horizon,
you didn't know which one, which one you're probably going to end up
with, you know, you couldn't you couldn't have the plague. Yeah,
you know what, I'm only human. Yeah, this is it. You're
like, hey, it's a you know, little bears, Yeah, little
bit manica. Who knows? Okay, how could how could lou Beiga have
sorted this out? Tom Well, what he would have done is he would
have covered a plate in flower, thin little little amount of flower, Gonna
found himself a good out, well, moven snail, put it on the
flower, the thin, thin layer of flower, covered with a tea towel,
headed off the bed. Next morning, Lo and behold the initials of
your new true love. There you go, just put it out there for
you people. The snail trail, much like Julia Dollinson's The Snail on the
Whale when it went in and wrote on the chalkboard that saved the whale down
at the beach. Pretty much the exact same thing, the exact same thing,
only it's like, here's here. You should hit your pony too.
This is going to be your you know, you're the initials of your true
love. I know, I know people that have chosen their true loves without
such a thorough system. Tom, Yeah, and you know what, where
are they now? There? Where are they now? It's the story for
another podcast on counting cars in the funeral. Bad. Look, don't do
it. I don't know who the fuck is doing that, But don't count
you counting the Okay, so don't count the amount of cars at the funeral.
Do you know the way people go? Jesus is the biggest funeral I
ever sent that we're up the road for fucking miles and they go out said
it was two thousand people that and I want to run. Okay, quantify
the people, but do not go the horses and carts, the fucking motorbikes,
they fucking the jelopes, the fucking penny farthings, the fucking Sedan's the
fucking estates, whatever they all came in, don't go counting them. Bad
luck, bad luck. So, if you've got a kid that loves counting
fucking cars, leave my home at that funeral. Four leaf clover for our
American friends who love a good four leaf clover. Great, you bought it
on you got one, you found one, you want to put it on
Instagram, don't you fucking dare. It's good luck. It's good luck up
into a point. It's good luck to you. Put your fucking keep it
to you and only you. It's your four leaf clover, right, nobody
else. You show it to somebody else, you tell it somebody else,
flip it around. It's a fucking bad four leaf clover, right, so
keep it to yourself. It'll be fucking swinging your big, fucking your big,
big four leaf clover energy around the place. That's all I'm saying.
Gone from being a four leaf clover to fucking me over. Literally, let's
put that on a T shirt. There's singers coming out left, right and
seven. You you need good luck, jar so you need good luck.
You're down your luck, you need good luck. You're like, maybe I
should go see somebody about it. Well, if you know the seventh son
of a seventh son, he's your man. He's pretty right, you see,
this is it as well? I'm okay, yeah, I hear.
The seventh son of a seventh son can do pretty much anything. He is
a fucking rock star. The seventh son of a seventh son is the fucking
Middle Aisland leadle like he'll there's nothing he can't do. There's nothing you won't
get, whether it's cures, love, advice, monetary issues like, seventh
son of a seventh son will will see you right for all, see you
right on one hundred and ten percent, you all. You know, people
have their go rus. They're fucking watching androw tads, they're watching fucking these
fellas fucking shouting at him about fucking getting up before a m in the morning.
Just find the seventh son of the seventh son, the seventh son of
a seventh son, or no, I have the seventh child of a seventh
child. I mean, that's they're sure, seventh son of a seventh son.
Toimes, there's only got to be like five of those counts in the
whole world, right, I mean, that's that's some procreation, right,
there seven boys, and of the seventh boy, he went on and had
seven boys. Yeah, yeah, Or is it like you know that he
has fifteen children and like you know, his thirteenth child was a boy,
but it was a seventh boy. Does that count I think that counts.
I think that counts. I was asking the old man about this and he
was I gave him that kind of algorithm as well, and he was like,
oh, no, it falls under that. Yeah, so if they're
twenty, it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Itchy Pam money is coming.
We all know that one. Itchy coming, Itchy Pam money coming.
In case you didn't you get them, you got suriosis. I'm just saying
you're probably gonna make some money from it. Oh no, I do have
suriosis, Tom your god, yea, I've made no money from it.
Very wealthy man. It's actually a very wealthy man. So we're coming close
to the end. If you see a white horse, yes, by itself,
loan in the field. You're by yourself, just you and the horse.
Yeah, immediately, don't be waving at no mister fucking horse. Don't
be go and getting him some grass before you do any of that. Spit
once on the ground, tramp the ground three times, you'll be good luck.
You don't do any of that shit. You're fucked for the day.
If I mean okay, I mean at least this one is limited to a
day. Yeah, yeah, the day, the same day one. I
had one tied in with it too, but the same thing. And there's
no doubt of this only heading back home. If you're heading out to work
and you see a lone, red haired woman and you're by yourself, go
home. That's the if that's the first person you met of to day.
Now, I feel bad for anybody who's married. I get red haired woman
would look at it is red haired woman who should be with you? Yeah,
yeah, I get yeah, Okay, that's probably how it cancels itself
out. But if you see, much like the whistling woman, if you
see a lone, redheaded woman, you're by yourself, you see her,
go home, it's going to be we can suck. We've got listeners,
Tom, I'm sure, I'm certain. Maybe you know five, maybe six
of the fockers who are you know, new to the country. Maybe they
came over here to work in Google or Facebook or one of these big tech
places, and you know, they're you know, unaccustomed to Irish ways.
You can take the day off work. Google are okay with this. Google
will give you the day off work. Facebook will give you the day off
work. It's literally refer them to this podcast to just tell them about that.
It's in your contract. The red haired whistling woman claws and if if
you she's on the back of a fucking white horse, that's it. Take
the month, take the monk boss. If your boss gives you shit about
this, refer them to the close in your contract. Just get ready to
start using Microsoft teams a lot, That's all I'm saying. Yeah. So,
finally, Jerry, we've ripped through a good bad but mostly bad throughout
the entirety of this. A lot of this fall dominately bad. Tom Yeah,
yeah, yeah yeah, not a lot of things. You can do
a couple of things you can do to cover yourself seventh one and all the
rest before leave Clover, keep it to yourself. But if the main thing
being pishogs, So finally, the protection from a pish hoag. Now you
asked how you'd go about it, it'd be a silly man that wouldn't have
started himself prior. It's like it's like insurance. It's like insurance. You
get caught with your pants down, you fucking crack your car into the back
of somebody else. You forgot to fucking update your insurance. Fuck you,
you know what I mean. Bust out the credit card. Fuck you you
didn't. You didn't think a hit. Same as that whip shogs holy water,
all four corners your land. As soon as you portal, like literally
you signed the ink not wet on the slicitor's fucking page. You fucking get
to that land, you get it out. Say you're not a religious persnger,
Okay, you're not for holy water? Where the fuck do I get
holy water? The church's closed. Cripes. A gorse bush, a gorse
busch or now gors is easy enough to get your hands on down the country.
If failing all that, you get yourself maybe a five gallon drum or
a five five litter drum of water of a place where three rivers meets easy
on Google Maps nowadays, easy where three rivers meet, Get the water from
the center of that and that's you. That's you. Just get it.
Get it to all four corners. If there's five corners that there's six corners.
Get it to fucking them too, Get it to all the corners of
your property. You know, So no egg, no fucking bundle of sticks,
nothing, nothing. Yeah, that's that's what's gonna say. Like you
know, so okay, so I I go and get this. I'm gonna
go get some holy water drum because I'm not fucking fucking around going to where
three rivers meeting were my Indiana Jones Like, it's very simple, cool to
the chap, will get a bit of holy water and splash around the place.
If I'm going to do anything, I'm going to do that. I
can get you a gorse bush if you want to just drag it around the
carpet as well, I don't. What if you want to fucking rhombas of
land I buy because that's what I was going to say, because it seems
to me, like you know, any conk could just be fucking eggs over
your over your boundary wall tramp every single every may maybe may even a bigger
pardoner, and there's all you can do about it, Like you know,
it just seems is relentless. But apparently you can, as you say yourself,
there you can, well you can future prove yourself, you know what
I mean, you can pishug proof yourself so you don't have to ring liberty
insurance. You're not ringing, you're not compared to the market that you're just
covering yourself. So, I mean, it's it seems to me, Tom
that even if you're even slightly wary of pish ogs in the slightest, you
just do that. Right Why not? Why not do you think I won't?
Do you think I don't? I thought land first thing I did.
I'm not in them. I'm not in the market for land right at this
very second. Push. Hey, maybe that maybe that's what Maybe that's why
all my other property ventures failed. It was like that fucking marshmallow plant you
wanted to build that time. It's like how the bride not again? I
look, I've given it all to you. This is just this has been
What you people do with this information is exactly exactly. You can laugh it
off. See Tom and Jerry didn't start. But we told you how to
get ahead of it, how to get out in front of this. We
told you the things look out for, We told you the things that they
are non avoidable to a degree. But we've we've we've given you everything.
We've given everything you can you can do and deal with piss coming down the
line. Other than that, I mean, you're on your own, son,
You're on your own. Yeah, that has been pishogs jerr. There's
everything that I felt was worthy of digging up the eye. There's a fucking
rabbit hole and I would invite people to go down, and it's a ripe
bit of crack. There's fucking so much. This is going to be one
of these ones. We always said this wasn't a learning podcast, but there's
going to be one of these ones where people will turn around to us and
go like, yes, that's very derived from the raw meat, redheaded woman
whistling challenge of Central Germany from the sixteen hundreds, and I want to hear.
I want to hear. Sure, maybe because there's people with even more
time in their hands than I its chair, you know what I mean.
They're literally being paid at work to do fuck all, you know what I
mean. So if they do want to get to the bottom, or if
they grew up somewhere where they had something bizarre where people have to wear fucking
I don't know, bits of corn up your nose on the fucking morning of
you know, April thirteenth. I want to we want to hear about it
and what have been the outcome? Could you avoid it other Irish superstitions and
pitch oaks, or if you have want from your country that possibly reach out
to us, guys, reach out to us for God's sake, but don't
like, you know, step lightly. Okay, don't come to us too
quick these days, because we're very fucking spook by all these things. So
don't just write it on a bundle of sticks and throw it over the bas
No, we're not going to read that. We're gonna be freaked out.
Oh hey, I'll write it on the back of an egg and leave it
under your at your door. No, don't want you to do that.
No. No, what you can do, if you're going to do it,
is you're going to do it by the tried and tested, fairy proof
method that is social media. You can get the Tom and Jerry Show on
Twitter, on Instagram, probably somewhere on Facebook. You'll find either himself Tom
o'mahonney or myself Jerry McBride. You know how to spell it, stick some
combination of that into it. You will get us on Twitter or Instagram,
less on Facebook. I dare say we're not going to be on threads anytime
soon? Are you? And Kennedy Go for the show itself. If you
like the show but just don't really like either of us enough to give us
a follow, you can find at Tom O'Mahoney, no, that's him at
Tom and Jerry Show podcast or some variation thereof stick it into Instagram, stick
it into Twitter. If two faces show up that look like you think these
voices sound like, it's probably us, yeah, exactly. If you are
listening on Spotify, please get us the five stars. Of course, do
hit the belts that every time one of these is uploaded, if it fires
up in your phone, so at least you know it's there. Five stars
is the best that you can do. Really, if you want to do
a screen grab, tags in it so just so other people know about it.
Maybe you want to till those about it. Maybe you want it because
people do that too. They can tag as in a thing that they have
found them reels, whether it's on Instagram or something like that. Please do
if you are listening on any other platform the likes of Amazon Music, we're
up there now, We're on we're pretty much on all of them, but
I think some of them you can leave a comment. It would be mighty
if you left to comment. Given it at the top, marks as best
as you can. Because what it does it just it makes it more available
to more people who are looking for random things like the weird shit we talk
about. It just brings more people into our weird realm. Other than that,
sure, I think I'm a way off to either. I don't know,
I do. I piss in the corners now I gotta get my hands
in some holy water gorse bush and I know where there's three rivers meeting and
they're not going to be meeting for long, so I want to go hang
out with these three rivers or something. Just I gotta start to place out
here. I was only king a half listening to you. Time I have
to go fuck a load of harribo out the back door. Yeah, look,
Jerry, look, I don't think I think you're kind of fucked,
but look at it's been great knowing you and I do enjoy the you know
this, like Tom, I'm not this. These patial exam going to kill
me anytime soon. Oh, they're not going to kill you it's just misfortunate
on me. They're gonna aige you. It's what they're gonna They play the
long game. They can play the long game, these lads. So with
that being said, listen Id. Just have people nice, just