I played today with a ton of gratitude and appreciation for the opportunity to do
this. I'm really glad I get to do it again tomorrow, and I'm
gonna remind myself I'm a dog and I'm ready for this moment. Good morning,
Metroplex. We're the downbeat here with our new green jackets on April fifteenth,
twenty twenty four, and we got you covered today with all the fun.
If it happened this weekend, we were all over it because we are
active. Were your comedy first responders. Danny Bayless is here yep. Mike
Siroy is here, Mike there. It is a little sticky you damn rite
of them here? Hi? Why Kevin, Danny? Good morning? Good
morning fans. J J. Jackson still away on mysterious trip. Where the
hell to Boston? Where the hell? She would not give us the full
details. Mysteriously. I asked her, Honor, I'm like, what are
you doing there? And she's like, oh, you know, and then
she's kind of quiet. I predicted last week Boston Marathon. You know what
today is? Yep? Today the Boston Marathon. Why wouldn't you tell us
that we want to support her? We could have made funny signs and held
them up on the side like you'll never make it, or vote ninety seven
won the freak, Yeah, repurpose those or discount cigarettes for sale, doing
it in her stead. I always wanted to open up a little cigarette stand
on Dallas Marathon, you know, like cigars, cigarettes, good prices,
trinkets, knickknacks. Can you do that? I wonder? Probably not what
sells smoke? When you can sell lemonade? Can you can sell smokes?
Right? I don't think anybody smokes anymore. You don't think marathon participants are
a good target down We could have vapes involved with it too. I bet
there's a couple. But there's a handful of marathon ers at the end of
it. They're just ready for a nice Marble or one hundred. No way
like the Euros or the yeah who just sucked out a Marborough one hundred,
sitting down with your little metal on at the finish line, all right,
man, the last place again. I think it was my lungs and stamina.
I must work on this somehow. I don't know how. If you're
used to smoking a ton and then you couldn't go the full length of a
marathon with that having your cigarette isn't that well? It smoke two back to
day, a pack a day even you're knocking one out like what every hour
and a half? Yeah, yeah, this old office building thing back two
packs a day. Let's say one pack a day. That's twenty SIGs and
you're awake what sixteen hours out of the day, man, I mean that's
more than one an hour. I was up to almost two a day,
two packs two a days. Yeah, wow damn. But it was more
like you. We would go out always. That's the deal breaker. Man.
You can torture MinC. Yeah, monitor your your sig and take in
the daylight. But yeah, you start adding beers and shots to that one
sip of booze, rolled through a dozen ciggies in a in an alcohol exceeding
dude. Since I like all the time I lived in Dallas, I would
say the place I smoke the most cigarettes was the effing back of Twilight Lounge.
There's something about that patio, right, I guess, And I swear
to God, I have no interest in smoking a cigarette. I plan on
never having a drag of a cigarette for the rest of my life. But
you catch me on a rough weekend, Like right now, it PLoP me
in the back of Twilight. I'm not sure the whill wouldn't be uh down
to zero and someone next to me, I'm like, I'd give you one
of those. Got a extra, well, get one of those? Oh
man, I don't want to. I don't want to take your upside down
lucky in the way. Just leave you to leave on the table. Live
on the table, there'll be our cigarette. My favorite was when you get
the rando coming up to you, can I can I buy a cigarette from
you? No? No, here, just take it. I don't know
if I've ever denied someone a cigarette, unless it was last maybe two.
I think I've shown like two even three, depending where you are, if
you're on a field at a concert or something, or like the look you
understand go elsewhere for your request. Fel like I'm sorry, I only have
nineteen left. Yes, a field at a concert, Yeah, okay,
okay. If I was again Big Coachella Weekend with Travis and Taylor and uh
Donald Glover, Donald Glover, Yeah, Don Lover the return of Don Lover.
But don't smoke. I get I don't tell me what to do.
Philip Morris wants to join forces with ninety seven the Freak Michael siroy At iHeartMedia.
Yeah, I don't know how that would work. It's still not allowed.
There's ways around it, absolutely there is. I do live spots.
We just gotta tread, all right, don't actually mention that at some point,
don't you just go yeah? Actually, radio, we'll take anything.
My pillow welcome back. I mean, my pillow has been so much more
on radio advertising over the years. Don't you have one? Absolutely? I
do. Is it a good pillow? It's my favorite pillow? Really really
yeah, I think I have my pillow as well. I never forgot it
because my mom bought so many. She couldn't fit him in you You couldn't
fit him in her house. By five you get ten, Michael, I
do remember, its like ten years or she said, Michael, I sent
you a pillow. It's the greatest pillow. This is before everyone knew what
the hell Mike Linndell was changing the world with. And I'm like, hell,
yeah, cool, great pillow. I mean, did you like it?
I don't eat. No. I remember just thinking, I don't know.
It's whatever. It's a pillow. It's there's nothing out, it's not
like you're getting the head cube. Yeah, the memory, like the new
fangled whatever. It's just a pillow. I guess I may still have it.
I don't even know where it is. But she just like, oh
my god, wait until But the funny thing is is that she saw the
infomercials on Fox News in the middle of the night and she's like, I'm
gonna get it, and then got one for herself and lay down on it.
And because of you know how your brain works, She's like, this
is the most comfortable pillow. This is truly I feel like I've never had
before. And you slept on it. You tried it? Yeah? Did
you? Did you wake up with like every day a different conspiracy. Yeah,
exactly, a fresh conspiracy here. Open your mind to what's really going
on. Implanted. I slept great, but I'm pretty sure the earth is
flat. Yeah, that feels time to take on the day. It was
funny, exact mindset to me in the mail, the whole thing. This
is twenty sixteen, twenty fifteen, and it's, uh, will you do
this pillow when we endorse this pillow? Absolutely sure, absolutely, I'll getting
no idea at all. Any of the noise around my pillow at the time
what the guy looks like they send it to you, I'm like, okay,
well I'll just put the pillow case on it, and okay, one
night. I mean, I can't really tell the difference. Well weekend,
You're like okay, and they tell you, like, your head will mold
to the and the pillow will mold to your to the way you sleep,
and I'm like, well, I'm all over the place when I sleep,
so I'll wake up every ten minutes. So it's a problem. What a
nightmare you are? Either way, I feel so bad for that's all right,
And when I got good sleep on Friday, when I took a sleep
bill, my Saturday was my Saturday sucked because it was just out of it
all day long. It was terrible. And I don't want to feel like
that ever. I'd rather have the off and on burst of energy. The
point is here, I am rocking on my pillow for eight years straight.
It just hasn't been at the top of my to do list. Go get
a new pillow. Well, if you like it, who cares. It's
not that I like it, it's it's I don't hate it. Yeah,
he's right, I agree. I'm neutral. I think we've chatted about this
pillow shopping, because how do you even know you don't? You go get
one online? How do you know you don't? You're getting sold a bill
of goods either way, and you go to a store and what, I
guess, try it. I definitely have laid down the floor of a target,
you know, and tried to simulate like, I don't know. Sure,
it's a pillow maybe, but you don't know until a few days of
sleeping on it what it actually is gonna do. Yeah, there's there's no
way you could know what's going on. So you end up just looking for
one that's as similar as you can find to the one you have already.
Then why not just keep that one? It feels soft enough, sure it's
not a brick, Like you're wide awake at a mall, like, yeah,
this is okay. It was the Mall of America. Yeah, at
a Whole my pillow store. He'd go in there and there's two big beds,
and I was like, I really don't think I need another one.
I'm good because I had one at the time. You just didn't know.
He didn't know. Mike Lindell is a cardboard cutout of Mike G. Lindell.
This guy's all right, he's got a mustache, pretty someone who should
be making pillows. I don't know if it's if a tweet exists, but
there is definitely a picture of me. Oh no, I'm old enough.
I got my arm around the cardboard cut out of him. Is it declaring
this is my man, my man with my pillow. Definitely posting it out
for social media views and I look at I'm going the extra mod for the
endorser. Yeah. And then years later you find out that Mike Lindell has
been really questioning the automatic voting systems and all that stuff. I mean,
I don't even know his involvement and everything, and don't care. I think
he might be going to jail or something. He's in trouble. He owes
a lot of money. I know he didn't sell enough pillows. Well,
just giving him away to radio personality, I know the profits just went down
the brain. Well, melm Over brought up something a minute ago that reminded
me of something that happened yesterday. So my three year old Malcolm is the
funniest human being that I've ever met. My wife, all due respect to
you, Mike Sroy, thank you just to be in the conversation. I
appreciate, I know, reset with his quote last week real quick, because
that's my favorite thing ever. Oh the one where we're walking down the street,
wide open, wide open, no trees, nothing, walking down the
street and he's kind of lagging behind because he what he likes to do on
walks is what I call efing around. And he's about ten feet behind me
and he goes, ow ow, I bumped my head, poor Malcolm.
And I looked around as like, dude, there is nowhere that you could
have bumped your head unless you hit yourself in the head. While yeah,
entirely. And I looked at him, I go, where did you hit
yourself in the head? And he looked at me and he goes, Dallas,
Texas. He's a boy genius. It's like I just stopped asking questions.
You're like, well, gotcha. So we're putting him down for a
nap yesterday, and I typically, if I don't get enough sleep the night
before, which is every day, try to catch one with him for hour,
hour and a half. Sometimes he'll sleep for two hours, which is
crazy because he's three. He needs it. His energy is NonStop, so
he needs that midday nap. And our routine as of late is watching a
couple of episodes they're eight minutes long of this TV show on Disney Plus called
Blue. Everyone's heard of it. Okay, everyone's heard of it, but
the real quick Bluey is they're a family of dogs and they're Australian and it's
a mom and a dad and they have two daughters, Blue the older daughter,
and Bingo, the younger daughter. And they were playing a game and
he's almost ready to pass out. He were sitting there just kind of watching
it. And the thing that's great about the show's parents love it too,
because it's just enjoyable. And they're doing some game. You know, they're
always dressing up, and they're doing a dress up game and Bingo, the
little dog sister, puts on a disguise and she's wearing glasses and a curvy
mustache. And Malcolm sits up out of bed and go, Bingo's being kevy.
Oh every mustache he sees is Bingo's being kevy, being Kevio. But
he knows that Mario and Kevio are different people. Yes, today, any
one day, I know, I know that's not Kevio. Yeah, I
know that's super Mario. I'll mess with you, but we call him Kevio
because what makes you laughed at Bingos being Kevio being keV in the street.
Take another twenty minutes to get you to fall asleep. Damn that was funny.
Anyway, that's all I have for today. What do you guys got?
Malcolm absolutely a month ago here ten seconds. I have a story because
I looked it up while we were chatting about it. A Chinese man known
as Uncle Chen just recently this year twenty twenty four, completed the yah Men
Marathon in three hours and thirty three minutes. Whoa but was disqualified for violating
the races rules for smoking on the course. That's the way. Yeah,
yeah, damn it. If you don't believe me, there's your photo of
this half. I've seen that picture is and that was this year. Yeah,
he's crushing a sig while he's running. January twenty third, this year,
Chain smoked his way through the marathon, was dqed for smoking on the
course. The Chinese Association of Athletics just implemented a band on smoking last year,
So someone does it. Three hours, thirty three minutes oh no,
that's good. Sounds pretty fast. Also, my mom is up listening and
said, let's not make fun of mom, and then followed up by my
pillow has a new one out? Interesting? And then just now, does
Malcolm have a my pillow? Yes, mom, he has one, we
all have him. No, but we'd love you know what. I'll text
you my address in the break if you want to mail little Malcolm of a
toddler my well, we'll gladly use it. Let's see if my pillow has
a special yep, kids, pillow gotta love your mom. She's the best.
She's coming to town, really right, it will be among us on
Wednesday. I know who's co hosting a certain morning show for Thursday, Dude,
the Scuttle with Vida. Let's go, let's go the whole show.
Really, of course, but maybe she filling in Friday's feeling on Friday.
I don't know. I don't care. We're left on Friday, Maddie.
See if you can find the weekend crap intro should be in there, Maddie's
And for j J h uh oh, speaking of cigarette, a couple of
cigarette smoking in there. Man, had I had to this one is my
breakfast, cigarettes and water. A girl, you have weekend crap? This
is going to be a maybe weekend crap some crap. It's really not essential
to have it that it is. We're transitioning to that portion of the show.
What do you want to project on this TV today? We could did
the Boston Marathon, but I don't know if that doesn't seem like a lot
of fun. Okay, let's do. You didn't tell her to play it.
You just asked if she had crack. Talk about it now. Crap.
I don't even know why we even play. I saw the hot Homeless
couple this morning. They're back. Yep, dude, they bought up.
They brought all their crap to the bridge, didn't they. Yeah, they
had a good weekend. Everything is there. And I was stopped next to
them again for about five seconds, and I'm like, oh if I could
record, because I'm like, is there any chance they know who won the
Masters yesterday? And then I realized they probably don't. But then for the
remaining forty seconds of the drive from that you turned to hear, all I
can think about is does the hot homeless couple know that today is Monday?
No? Actually yes? Because commerce picks up. Agree, So traffic patterns
there efforts on that, and nobody knows traffic nobody knows traffic patterns better than
the hot homeless couple. Yeah, but probably not. Do they know Scotty
Scheffler. I mean he's from Dallas, grew up in Highland Parks. Probably
zip past him. He's probably ignored them. He probably ignored him a red
light. Look at his phone, still confused about where they're at. How
do you get you know he comes you come south from the toy, right,
I don't get on the toy Okay. Then do you get here?
Are you on Spring Valley? No? Arapa? And then you come down
a service road turned to belt line? Huh? I do get on the
service road. I'm on the service road, headed soud. Okay, you
just never actually get on the toy service road because we come from the south.
Kevin, turn on Alpha. Yeah, we we exit Spring Valley and
then loop around the It's way faster to turn No, it's not. You're
a dingling if you think that we do a zip zip you you're right there
and they're right on that little median. Uh yeah, they're right on that
medium right when you do the U turn. You see them to your right
as you're whipping around at them. They'll disappear, like for a week or
two, and all their stuff's gone. Today they're back and there you have
so much crap and it's real disorganized. It's gonna take them a while to
set up camp properly. I think they get run out and then they have
an alternate place, and then they eventually matriculate back to to this spot.
But there's a while. Was just a guy, and I thought they'd broken
up, you know, oh yeah maybe, but they're hot. They're probably
going little breaks, you know, just so that it didn't get stale,
because they're keeping fresh. You're together all the time. You know, who
knows the couples? You know they go off to their different jobs. Well,
they might be making so much money panhandling that when they disappeared, they're
on some lavish vacation. Right, it's possible to say more. Ritz.
I always wondered how much could you make panhandling? All right, you want
to do that as a bet payoff for this week's RBC RBC Heritage Classic Bad
Bet Payoff News Guys, Yeah really, yeah, not by much either.
It was tight. It was tight, and you know what, not fully
confirmed because they get real shady with the purse this year. I'll side of
the top fifty questionable numbers, don't think, but trust me, we did
the math. Don't think the dinger didn't have the calculator pulled up on his
phone. They crunching some numbers last night before Bad when all I had to
do is just look over to the Google doc because of course Kevin's already got
it all tabulated on and audio of everyone talking about how much they made with
their purse. It is true and Verne Lundquist audio that's later. Damn it,
dude, Danny, you got me. You know how you got me.
Bryson Brison did well, can't lay, didn't completely suck. Rory kind
of turned it on a little bit. I got boned by guys like Brooks
kept gad, Tony finow Ugh and Matt Siama kill me. Was I just
in the clear with Scotty Yeah, uit nothing to worry about it because I
had the least amount of guys make the cut. But then I figured I
was fine. You were fun easy. Three point six million dollars to Scotti
Schuffer for winning yesterday's Masters Scotty's winnings doubled me and Kevin's. Yeah, I
figured I was fine once we hadn't. I will admit I don't cheer for
you to lose these bets at all, But for some reason this one,
I'm like, Danny's a real person. He doesn't need to be sending pictures
of feet with food in them's. I was like, I don't want to
poor Dan because you never tweet anyway, and you're pretty offline, I mean,
but not compared to him or even me. Yeah, I feel like
it's a bigger punishment for him. We don't need him to be tweeting out
feet picks because it's us giggle about him. How many feet picks is it?
Three? Would already kind of had a strategy of mine too. Yeah,
yeah, like you play showing your guitar and then your feet are just
kind of down there. Well, the first one would have been me getting
a pedicure, yeah, with a sandwich, fully extended arm, sandwich left
arm, camera pointing at it, pick of people taking selfies and so much
better than selfie and portrait awkward positioning. All right, that would have been
an easy one. Yeah, the easy one that would have been the first
one and the next one, and then they did a good job. Look
with a soda with the little one of the little separators that they put between
your toes, you get some nice color. Are you getting knock yours out
your your hot foot picks before you leave? They do? No, I
think we need European foot picks, foot picks from abroad. Exotic dude,
that's great. Yeah, like Positano and Italy jam at and a bowl of
pasta. Yeah, touching the top of a Napoli style pizza. I think
feet are disgusting, Like I'm not in the you know, there are people
who love them, I guess, but that's always been a confusing one to
me. Like I can understand more watching Hintie than getting into feet stuff.
It's one of the weirdest fetish is out there for me. Really. That's
the feet are pretty disgusting, man. They're just used to be our foundation.
They're used to collect all the germs from the ground. I don't want
to walk around barefooted. Ever, I'm a sock guy at all times.
He wears shower coming. I used to kind of feel that way and then
something switch flipped. Yeah, A lot of time ago I don't know what
you've done. Everything else. It's like Final Frontier. I'm footing different.
I'm not grossed out by him. I don't care. But I'm also not
looking up of that big toe in my mouth. But if you do,
yeah, no problem. I don't know. This is like a Nickelodeon.
They used to really have a lot of like toe jam punishments and stuff and
toenails, and I don't know, it sticks with you over time. I
think you know that's somehow, whether it's in person or just by watching it,
nickelode had found a way to abuse us. You know, these things
typically go back to child like your your your, I don't know, affliction
with dogs. Yeah, did something happen to you when you were little?
Which he's watching all that stuff on Nickelodeon, like they legit. On one
of the games you had to find a flag family doubled there. But that's
just like in between the toe jam. You didn't have any foot trauma when
you were little that I remember. But okay, I also have huge feet,
So you don't twelve for a five foot eleven guy, maybe little above,
Yeah, I would ten and a half eleven would be about normal for
you. Hanging dog. Hell yeah, look at this. Beezer, Hell
yeah, beezer. All right, let's get out of here. That's what
we did over the weekend. Well, we know what happened this weekend.
Let's not act like we know everyone knows what we did. We hung out,
We hung out, We watched the Masters. It's a good stuff.
I left my house and hung out with Mikey. Hell yeah, it's hanging
out without me. Yes, thanks, guys, appreciate that. You wouldn't
have gone out anyway. I was looking for action on Friday night at mid
or at what tenth? When did I arrive, like ten thirty to the
Cedars? About when I was Friday night at ten thirty. Yeah, that's
about when I was debating to do something. Though, you know what,
I still young. I'm the youngest person on the station besides Christina. So
yes, ask well, it was her show and she talked about a lot.
I assumed you knew that oatmeal pizza was at Lee Harvey's on Friday night
for well, you know what, You're right, I should have. I
should have too. It's fine, it's fine, you'll miss me when I'm
gone. You're leaving tomorrow, You're dying exactly tomorrow night somewhere over the Atlantic.
I do fear that pretty good. I'm going to do it, expose
on how many people have died in the Atlantic Ocean for you tomorrow, damn
it, and the one thousand ways the Atlantic can kill you. M h
well, you know, speaking of the Atlantic, you know what I was
terrified of when I was little. The Bermuda Triangle. Hell yeah, you're
going right. They say never fly over the heart of the Bermuda Triangle.
To this day, I've had pilots on say that and I actually checked your
flight plan. You are going directly over the heart of the Bermuda Triangle.
Hell yeah, no, hell no, it's you might as well do it
if you're risking it. Anyways, my dad was fascinated with the Bermuda.
He had like books on it. It was like telling me stories about the
Bermuda tras, these these planes and these ships. They just they fly over
there, all their compasses start spinning. It's such a lie. These captains
just lose all sense of direction and they're never heard from or seen again.
And I'm like five, going, what the f I don't want to go
to the Bermuda Triangle essentially because it's the eastern seaboard of the United States and
there's a lot of travel on it, and it was at the beginning of
airplane travel and there's hurricanes. Well, let's not be late. Okay,
Hey, it's your last second, last day ever on the air. I
want you. I want to do what you want to do today. I
don't really want to her last day on the planet. I want to talk
about Shakira's upcoming world tour and look at Google images ever. But also people
are saying, this was the greatest episode of Saturday Night Live in the last
five years? Was it next? On ninety seven? Won the Free