Happy Tuesday, Metriplex. Let's kick some asks. We are the Downbeat and
we have new MAVs edition. Daniel Gafford at Today calling in the new big
Man, Luca's new favorite cool toy. He's a beast. MAVs win.
Last night, Daniel Gafford calls the Free Cotton Line to make his Freak debut.
So make sure you're locked in for that, because he seems like a
fun guy too. Good way to end the show, I have to pay
off a bet. At nine o'clock, Zero review the most one of the
most expensive adult films ever made, Pirates Big. This Morning News at eight
thirty. At eight o'clock, we're having a bit of a draft, the
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominee draft fifteen new nominees. We'll kind of
run him out there, and as we run him out there, make your
big board and we'll draft them up. And in April they announced five or
going in gets. The scuttle Butt Offenses has new stuff there seven sports Ceedee
Lambs finally talked about his mom making comments about Dak while he's carving up.
No, he's carving up while he's eating some alfredo. It was really strange
on the Michael Parsons podcast. I have some of that for you as well.
I will say I think you by the way, Hi, Mikey,
Hi, good morning, Hi Kevin, Hi day, Good morning everybody,
Good morning fans, Mikey. Don't you agree that Kevin, with his punishment
of losing the bet having to watch the what is it the most expensive at
the time, the most expensive adult film ever produced, but twenty years ago,
he's very lucky that he got to watch, or had to watch,
a film titled Pirates. It could have been so imagine if he had to
watch and talk about I don't know, throat Busters three. You know,
you'll find that the storylines they were going for didn't exactly, you know,
pay off in a way that makes you go, Yeah, I love the
ocean, you know here, I love thieves. This is a good drama.
Everyone loves Pirates, pirate stories of the sea. People like that how
much. I don't know how much you want to wait or how much because
we should place our bets on what happens in the movie Pirates. Yeah,
because I've never seen it. Okay, yeah, okay, okay, Pirates,
I have it. I don't need it. I don't watch port I
don't need to. Is it just called Pirates? Yeah? And Stagnanti's revenge
is Pirates two. Pirates two Stagnetti's Revenge, Okay, definitely came out like
eight I think. Okay, so Stagnetti was clearly wronged in the first episode
in the original Pirates that Kevin watched. And Stagnetti is the antagonist pirate,
right, I don't know he is. I'm looking glass eye for these important
questions. Get a glass eye. Yeah, but that's not Evan Stone,
who does kind of look like he could portray a bad guy. Evin Stuon's
the good guy this one. He's the main pirate. Okay. The ship
is gonna have a funny name. It's the Wooden. It's gonna be hardwood
ship or they're going to talk about that. But I wonder how much.
I mean, because even you have a million dollars to make a porno,
right, they had like five right now, they had one million. That's
all you can tell by the CGI Pirates two, Stagnetti's Revenge apparently had eight
million dollars. Wow, So maybe next week, at this time next Tuesday,
Kevin can review. I was thinking, is that the rock and roll
Hall of Fame bet Oh my god, is that the payoff there? You're
just gonna lose it again. You know, it's bad luck. You blew
all your luck in the casino at Chalked Hall, I did. I left
my hoodie there too, really? Yeah? I lost my Travis Matthew hood
hoodie in the hotel. Yeah. I called the Boston found guy last night
and then he didn't call me back. What did you hang it up in
the closet and forget to check there when you left? What? I think
he was trying it on? No, I can't find it. I just
think I left it in my room. You sure? Yeah? It's stuff
between a wheel of Fortune and some video poker machine. Yeah, wedged in
on top of the ash tray and empty cup of gin? Am I just
too hot right here? Take the hoodie off as I was on a heater.
It really was. I really was sweating because it was it was high
intensity betting. Oh on a full thousand dollars. I might just go back
at it today. You guys are lucky. I was at North Park Mall
the other day and they're opening up a Travis Matthew shop. Whole store.
There's only one right now. It's in Frisco or something up in golf Land.
There's not too many brick and mortars. Yeah, you have to go
to like a PGA superstore for a wide selection of Travis Matthew stuff, or
you can shop online. I'm gonna try it on, guy. You want
to see if it fits. Sometimes the SiZ doesn't match up for some Travis
Matthew is one of the few that I'm like because you can get this way
now, I'm comfortable with their sizing. Oh so I can just let a
rip online. Pants too, Pants right here, Traves Matthew pants right here.
This is like golf apparels. Yeah, yeah, freaking dad golf apparel.
But they make good lids. The hats are perfect. I like no
snap back, I like fitted, but it's like the stretch kind. So
it's I have one hundred of these hats. I'll find the same ones and
throw them away when they get dirty. Why are they cheap? No,
not at all. But they throw them away because they don't last forever,
just like anything. I'm I'm an adult. I don't I don't want to
keep clothing first, take them to a decade, you know anymore? Do
you do you know how to clean a hat properly? No? Not well,
And if you're telling me to buy a little cage, I put it
in my dishwasher. Kevin doesn't have a dishwasher. I know that's true.
Well he can that he want all that money at Chalk Do doll I can.
But we're saving it. Yeah, we're gonna pump it into prize picks
to bet on the Genesis this week. Yeah, turn into five thousand dollars.
But the cage and the dishwasher works, that's it. Really. Yeah,
you have it. You have a dishwasher cage. No, I don't
have one, but I've done that in the past, back when I was
I went through a non hat period for a long time, and I'm kind
of back on board because there's some pretty cool lids and I found a brand
that I like. I do like the snap bag. Sometimes I want to
adjust it. Maybe I want a looser fit, maybe I want a tighter
fit. I don't know. Because the amount of hair you have it every
few days, it can. Yeah, it depends on what quiff I'm dealing
with at any given moment. Yeah, oh yeah, tend to be consistent
with my hat size. Hair amount a lot, not a lot changing under
that under that dome. And I don't think when you have the snap back
and you're bald, you know, if it's on tight, then there's a
little pressure and you just like you get the arc of beef. Yeah.
The it is just kind of like a like a tiny little pork roll that
just kind of works its way through the hole. Yeah, the ball guy
definitely needs the the fitted, close, closed back half. The ball guy
is always often unsure what's going on back here because you don't have hot dog
neck or beef arc. Yeah, says the pressure to make your face turn
purple. I love hot dog neck. It's so great. I have it.
I don't think. I don't know, that's like normal. Now you're
you're great. Nope, Nope, you're fine. You don't have hot dog
neck, Dude, you're good. That's why I don't like the snapper,
because you get the beef circle back there. So that's the difference there.
You need to draw eyes and a nose and a face on the back of
your head, and that you can confuse some people just okay, Like I
mean, if you were looking for trouble, get Christina to draw a perfect
face on the back of my head that looks exactly like me. Okay,
that's not a bad bet payoff because it's so stupid and just like put your
clothes on the wrong side, walk through life backwards. Okay, I'll do
that if I lose the Hall of Fame bet, I'll draw a face on
on the back of my head face and just moon walk through downtown Dallas looking
good. That's kind of funny. I mean, just to walk in here
backward once with my pants and shirt on backward, you look like criss cross
good morning, and you for thirty twenty seconds, and then that's it.
And then we put it on TikTok and it's the thing that gets the most
follows anything we've ever done. It's nineteen likes. I don't know that gift
would that gift would keep giving. How many times have you just seen me
walk up to the Detective Dick Shale cut out and just stare at it.
I do sometimes, like in a break we look at Dan and he's just
got his coffee and he just kind of a foot away from Detective Dick,
And I think you've muttered to yourself while I'm in the room that like you
wish you knew that guy. I wish he was here. And I'm like,
dude, you're like, where have you gone? Detective or Garland?
A little mess? You are a hot mess. More than you know.
I've got a real good idea about you. No, no, no,
I'm bad. But I think he's probably he's probably probably messier than myself.
He's younger than I, so he's still got some years before he's completely given
up. Hope, I'm a young buck. Yeah, yeah, he's almost
fifty. What are you forty seven? Yeah, you're like three years away
and then it's over. Yeah, it is the number over. Yeah,
for sure, for sure. You know I was watching. I don't think
we're gonna talk about it, Jon Stewart, No we are. That's one
of the topics today, is that later. No, yeah, kid,
it can be any time. Well, one thing he did, he's okay,
sixty one years old, so I was like, man, how old
is Yeah? Okay, sixty one and he's sharp and you know, looks
good enough, and I'm like, all right, sixty one, so fourteen
years. I was like, okay, I have fourteen years of being potentially
at least sharp. I don't know what is your intellectualism peak. You know
probably around now for like you, I mean the window window, but it
goes all the way forty to sixty somewhere around there. Should I know this
a couple of years ago, that the sharpest you'll ever be as a human
overall is like twenty eight. I think you're thinking of war in baseball.
No, like, like in terms of sharp that's in terms of like does
mean you like smarter or it's like the just like in terms of remembering things
and being on top of everything is like no, no, no, I
believe that because I can definitely tell there's been I'm not. I mean,
I'm a lot more like exponentially more sober now than I was when I was
twenty eight, So it's kind of hard to tell. Yeah, but yeah,
I definitely can it can sense that what it's going to be like later
on. You know, why did I get come into this room? Why
am I in here? I'm not at like Biden levels yet, but yeah,
I can tell there's some a little bit of diminished faculties do you do,
like and searching for words sometimes kind of getting what is the word I'm
looking? Like that kind of stuff where it just doesn't come as quick as
it used to. I'll get up and go get something and then do something
else and forget, you know, the original thing that I went in there
to get, Like whether you'd get my readers, which is I guess that's
another example of you know, or like my cup of water. I'm like,
I'm sitting in my chair reclined. I'm like, damn it, all
right, I forgot my cup of water. And you get up and then
you also hit a light and you maybe let Simon out, and then you
sit down again without getting the water, like whatever the original intent was,
Yeah, it happens. It's happening. More. Is that the ADHD setting
in with everyone too, though, or like the multitasking at all times,
or is it just the losing the sharpness that it's probably a combination of all
of it, and probably the fact that you know, none of us lived
our adult decades just these clean lives that would produce you know, clearer minds.
Yeah, so that probably plays a contributing factor to it as well.
But I mean, there is something to be said for like hitting the age
of I don't think early forties to maybe sixty, but the amount of kind
of like wisdom that you get during that time, which isn't necessarily about anything
you read or learn. It's just about the continuing observation of people in life
and experience that does give you a lot broader kind of context of sure of
all that stuff. And it's not just about recall and retention and sharpness.
It's about knowing knowing other people and how to handle situations and social situations and
stuff like that. Don't there's something I think that is the invaluable thing that
can only be gained by getting older. Yeah, life experience certainly adds up
hugely, and maybe what's offset by your sharpness diminishing slightly. There's a sweet
spot though, I bet, and especially when you apply to politics or something
like that, just the experience within within that realm, you just learn all
the tricks, you know. But back to your point, John Stewart might
be right at that that perfect Vin diagram where they where the lion's cross,
you know, Yeah, exactly. And anyway, he was great last night
and we can talk about it more later. How I don't know what the
plan is, but there was one point. I mean, the whole first
half of the show was the return of like indecision twenty twenty four, you
know, like their political coverage, and that's what he's there to do,
is I think he's doing Mondays from now to the election. And he said,
we settled on their tagline being you know, election twenty twenty four,
what the f are we doing, like after trying all these other attempts of
you know, democracy and electile dysfunction. But anyway, one of the things
he's talking about how old they are. You know, he's like, they're
so old. He's like, these are the two oldest candidates ever, beating
by four years themselves four years ago, right, I mean it's shocking,
but you know, how good. Yeah. But anyway, he goes,
let me show you they beat their own record, right, and the their
own record, and Biden's eighty one. Yeah, the Dawn is seventy eight,
seventy eight, seventy eight, I think, yeah, yeah, that
his own record, yeah, seventy seven, yeah, yeah, But that's
part of his bit. And he's like, let me tell you something,
any kind of turns to the side camera. He's like he does the came
here, come here, and he makes the guy zoom in because honestly,
he looks way older than you remember him being on The Daily Show. I
mean, we've seen Don Stewart and clips and whatever the hell he is.
I watched the show on Apple for a little bit, and I was a
little taken aback, like how much different he looked. But he still looks
fine, but like he just looked older than the last time you saw him
on the Daily Show. So he's like, come here, come here,
zoom man. The camera zooms in, like almost to an uncomfortable level of
zoom. He's like, look at the look at the face, look at
the weather, look at the eyes, you know, and they show a
split scream of him at thirty five. Look at the surface of the moon.
Zoom in, Yeah, say something like that. Yeah, And he's
like, I got these efforts by twenty years, and I look like this,
and I look like hell. And then he showed a picture of him
twenty years prior and he's all fresh and tan and wrinkle free and all of
his dark rapper. Yeah, you look great. It's weird, dude,
you had him by twenty years. There is that like, I look at
myself just five or six years ago, in the amount of aging to me
that's gone because I look at myself now at fifty five, and I'm like,
you know what, I don't. I don't think I look like most
fifty five year olds because I just don't. Mainly, I think it's because
I don't get out in the sun. I have a vitamin D deficiency.
But I'm not getting weathered by the rays. I'm not working a real man's
job, you know. But I can see a decided difference in just five
or six years when I was forty eight, which a lot of people think
is old. Yeah, And I'm like, God, I look so young
at forty eight, really yeah. So I'm just thinking by like, from
now to John Stewart's age, whoa look out it really, cause I think
forties is when it really starts to yeah, either decline or your looks,
you know, or skin whatever it is. Hair is a big one.
I mean, our buddy Dan McDow often said the bald dudes are the lucky
ones because you can't decipher their aging near as much. I mean, if
you're bald in your thirties, which I was, it's real hard to judge.
I guess maybe how you age if you can take the hair out of
it. But I feel like the forties is where it really starts to aige
your face and yeah, you get the back, the droopy little things under
the eyes, mill more wrinkles. But mainly it's the gray and the beard
because we live in a world now where dudes just the clean shaven man is
kind of like the anomaly. You just don't see him that that often.
We all you kind of retain some element of stubble, and when that starts
coming in, boy, that's that's the dead giveaway. But when your beard
starts getting white, it's also pretty embraced. It's because we learned we could
hide one of our chins. Oh that's exactly why all the the beards are
here, because we're all fatty boom. The gray is being embraced. No,
the beard is like overly done. Like it's kind of made fun of
online, you know by some that like, oh, gee, look,
white guy with a beer. Like when there's team photos of any radio station,
a couple of the comments be gee, look, yeah, white dudes
with beards. It's not going away, like the go tea finally went away.
Like maybe in the late nineties people kind of got go back and look
at any photo of any group of men. In nineteen ninety two, and
it's just that circle of mustache meats chin strapped. I've never spent a day
with that, you did, Oh yeah, since we've been here even though,
but well, yeah, my stuff's real fair on the side. It
isn't grow in great so even if I have a beard, it's from a
distance it looks like a go tea. But it's like it's that that latency
period between you start going gray and you just look old and then you get
then if you're lucky, you look like like Jeff Bridges or Sean Connor if
you're or Reiner for that for that matter. You know, like, to
me, Reiner hasn't looked. He doesn't look any different now than he did
ten years ago. I agree, it's exactly the same because it's just all
white. Yeah, and it's maintained. Could you guys grow a fu man
chew? I don't know. I feel like that's a type of hair.
There's a type of hair that need it wispy and thinner, right, is
a fu man chew? Just the the hair from here, the size of
your lips mustache yeah yeah, yeah, like you're still trimming here, but
it just gets long. The corners just dumb. If we just let that
grow and shave the rest of your face, it would take forever and you
have to shave like the middle of it, like Mick Mars right, yes,
okay, yeah, that's the fu Man shoe. And why do you
even want to say that? That feels like the food? That feels Yeah,
now that I think about it, God, it does feel that way,
yeah, doctor fu Man? Who like, who knows? Who knows
what's acceptable? Like, the only time you can use this word is when
you're describing a rug oriental. It's an oriental rug. But if you use
it in any other way offensive, everybody goes whoa, Yeah, think about
something else. They're like aging, Does your brain aging affect how you physically
age? Because it's a little dark, but it's true. And I don't
think that we realize and think about this enough our generation, specifically my generation,
but y'all are in this. We are the first generation to have fully
transitioned into going all phone, all interneted all the time. And like the
it's been proven one of the only ways to increase your IQ is to read.
Now, reading online might help that, but if you don't read at
all, and I think we do live in skim culture. If you don't
read at all, you cannot increase your IQ. And I don't know if
that's well, it's one of the ones. In learning to play an instrument
is up there, and there are other ways. There's a huge article about
this in the Forgot Where a few years ago that I just it's stuck with
me. But don't you think communication increases your you? I would think so
on some love. Maybe not as proven as reading, Yeah not, I
would think eimulating the brain like playing an instrument. I can hear that.
Yeah, but like you know, for whatever, like we know people aren't
reading as much as they used to, right. I think it's very clear.
And I just think it's gonna suck if we find out that like dementia
starts hitting you earlier than it did and it's going to be tested thirty years
from now, and like, yeah, it was, you know, we
think due to cell phones or phones, and I just wonder, because we
are the guinea pigs of apple and androids and all that like of phone tech,
smartphone technology, we are the first to have it. I think you
bring up a good point because you know, number one, the brain is
much like the body where if you don't challenge it and keep it active,
and that is introducing. You know, a lot of it is reading,
it's learning, it's new experiences, it's learning a new skill like a language
or a musical instrument. Like you said, you've got to keep that engaged,
and I think you can kind of prolong the dementia aspect of the deterioration
of it. It's much like your body, you know. That's what they
recommend for dudes that are getting older. It's like you need to like work
on weight training because you want strong bones and muscles and all that as you
age. It's going to benefit you as you get into seventies and eighties.
But the fact that you know, you think about the content that is geared
towards us now and we see the analytics are done right here in our office.
It's like video content. People want to see video. So basically it's
a new generation of picture books, you know, rather than reading the body,
you know, of a book or whatever. We're lazy now that everything
has to be given to us by somebody else telling us, or a video
or something that is entertaining and catching to the eye. And that's how we're
getting our news because TikTok is so massive Instagram and and that's kind of like
it just shows the analytics show that that's the most popular way that people are
consuming media. It ain't going to the library and getting a damn four hundred
page book and spending time with that. Everything's got to be quick, it's
got to be given to you. It's got to be exciting, and it's
just lazy. You're not doing any work, You're just scrolling and looking at
these these videos. And that's how I mean. Are you improving your IQ
by that? I don't know, Maybe not? Yeah, yeah, Yeah,
that's just it's gonna suck. When we learned the negative effects of like
eve on social media started. They didn't know the negative effects of social media
until fifteen years after, twenty years after. It's like smartphones, same time
period, and maybe you see like health declines and maybe not, maybe we
live longer because of it. It could go the other way, But I
have thought about it. Just feel like it's all making us dumber at least
a stagnant lifestyle. It can't be physically healthy for us. The fact that
we spend so much time zombie staring at something. Yeah, that's physically,
there's no doubt, But mentally, I really wonder, and it could be
the opposite. If you're ingesting and you know, reading, I suppose or
taking in more information, right, just sort of by definition, shouldn't you
be adding more to what's going on in your dome? Now? If you
watched day one hour, our lecture or a stand up comedian for an hour,
right, is that increasing your IQ? I don't know which stimulates your
brain. I think is good for your brain, but it's probably a different
style of simulation, whether it be sitting down and reading for an hour,
something well written and intelligent, whether it be fiction. I mean how fiction
could be the key, you know, because that makes you picture what you're
reading, Yeah, and use your imagination. And that's definitely a different part
of your brain than just information information reading. And I believe that our brains
are I think that I think they have infinite storage. You know, I
don't believe that we just have a two terabyte brain and you have to take
you have to delete old files to bring in new ones. I think it's
infinite, and what we're able to to store in our brain, it's just
our ability to access it is where most people run into uh, run into
trouble. Yeah. I know. Speaking for myself, it's like my memory
retention is terrible. But if I read a book and it sticks with me,
I may not know the exact words, but there's something about the imprint
of that of actually reading the words that that somehow it sticks it better.
It stays in there, Yeah for sure. And that the lesson is the
plot of Pirates Won, Yes, the most expensive porn movie ever made.
I think what we've learned today is, hey, everybody, go get a
book and read it, but wait till after ten o'clock. We used to
have a guy on circ a listener who would like diagram the journey of the
first segment usually, and that was that was part right there in a lot
of different ways. And and you did fully detail the cliffhanger into Stagnetti's revenge
as Stagnetti got an iPhone back in two thousand and eight cod of at nine
MAVs Forward Slash Center Daniel Gaffert's the center, Daniel Gafford. He'll call it
a ninety five coming up next. We did it everyone, We set a
record. What was it? I'll tell you next on ninety seven Won the free,