WEBVTT 1 00:00:06.360 --> 00:00:11.800 Hi, everybody. Welcome to Coming Out Pod. I'm gonna I'm I'm dipping 2 00:00:11.880 --> 00:00:17.879 back into the the archives of queer root shout outs. So today I'm gonna 3 00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:24.359 do shout out to you. If your queer root is Wanona Rider in Beetlejuice. 4 00:00:24.600 --> 00:00:27.839 Uh. For those of us at a certain age, that was many 5 00:00:27.879 --> 00:00:32.840 of us our first introduction to the concept of a goth girl an emo girl. 6 00:00:33.560 --> 00:00:40.280 Uh, perhaps stirred some feelings. Yeah, yeah it Look if you're 7 00:00:40.359 --> 00:00:43.439 younger and you haven't seen Beetle Juice, yeah, I gotta see Beetle Juice. 8 00:00:43.439 --> 00:00:46.119 It's one of those movies you gotta say, check out when on a 9 00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:50.719 Rider. She's an adorable little pixie. Uh, moody girl in that movie, 10 00:00:50.920 --> 00:00:56.759 and uh, perhaps some people's queer awakening. Uh. Today I am 11 00:00:56.840 --> 00:01:03.240 joined by comedian Andy Mayne in Colorado, where there is a blizzard. I 12 00:01:03.320 --> 00:01:10.159 understand hello and oh hi Hello. Blizzards is strong term for Colorado's but I 13 00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:14.120 moved here from Portland and it's over an inch of snow, So by my 14 00:01:14.239 --> 00:01:21.000 emotional standards, it's a blizzard. It's a blizzard and five out it's negative 15 00:01:21.040 --> 00:01:23.280 five out, so I just did an hour out there with my dog, 16 00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:32.200 and the transition from like the Arctic wilderness to my couch is pretty severe, 17 00:01:32.319 --> 00:01:38.560 Like I've got snowblindness, you know, I've got winter madness. Okay, 18 00:01:38.120 --> 00:01:44.159 And speaking of your dog, because we mentioned we we might hear some dog 19 00:01:44.719 --> 00:01:48.840 cameos. So yeah, oh I wish you could see well you at ham 20 00:01:48.920 --> 00:01:51.680 cannot see this adorable dog. But yeah, do you want to introduce your 21 00:01:51.719 --> 00:01:55.920 dog? Yeah, her name is Sadie. She's a a little over two, 22 00:01:56.599 --> 00:02:01.280 and she's a husky chow pit bull, poodle shepherd. Damn, that's 23 00:02:01.319 --> 00:02:07.439 a very very specific were dog. No, no, but I love it 24 00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:12.080 like pitbull. I feel like pitbull is the unofficial like queer lady dog. 25 00:02:12.240 --> 00:02:15.719 Oh definitely, people rescues. Yes, I feel like it's the full poodle 26 00:02:16.120 --> 00:02:20.759 is complete bisexual energy. Oh, I love it. Oh yeah. And 27 00:02:21.120 --> 00:02:24.840 so speaking of so, so Andy is a comedian. We're gonna this is 28 00:02:24.879 --> 00:02:30.080 a big spoiler alert to when I ask Andy how she identifies. But Andy's 29 00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:36.000 comedy album was recently released. It is called Rocky Mountain, by which I 30 00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:39.280 love a pun. Uh. It's a it's a very funny album. I 31 00:02:39.319 --> 00:02:44.000 listened to it over the weekend and you could. Yeah, we'll talk at 32 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:46.560 the end about where you can purchase and stream it, but suffice to say 33 00:02:47.080 --> 00:02:52.400 it's it's easily accessed, and I hope you will check it out because I 34 00:02:52.439 --> 00:02:54.360 really did. I really did enjoy listening to it. But we're gonna talk 35 00:02:54.360 --> 00:02:59.000 about that, We're going to talk about you. We're gonna potentially talk about 36 00:02:59.039 --> 00:03:04.759 Sadie if she enters into this situation. But Andy, So to kick off, 37 00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:07.960 as I said, your album sort of outs you to the world, 38 00:03:08.039 --> 00:03:14.479 which I love. But how do you identify? There's any further information? 39 00:03:15.000 --> 00:03:21.960 Classic nineties by nineties girl by nineties By that's great. Yeah, yeah, 40 00:03:22.080 --> 00:03:24.680 before Pan, you know, before Pan was a term, it was by. 41 00:03:24.879 --> 00:03:29.319 Yeah. Now if I did, it's Pan, I feel like it 42 00:03:29.360 --> 00:03:32.319 was an affectation. So I still identify as Bye, but I have Pan 43 00:03:32.759 --> 00:03:39.159 tendencies. Classic nineties by is there's no different nineties by. Yeah, it 44 00:03:39.240 --> 00:03:43.639 is very specific. Yeah, it is a very it's like a little a 45 00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:50.840 fair sort of exactly, a little erases. Yeah, a lot of MORI 46 00:03:51.039 --> 00:03:54.879 seta rider, Yeah, yes, that's why I did. I looked at 47 00:03:54.879 --> 00:03:59.039 my list and I was like, let me, let me shout out not 48 00:03:59.120 --> 00:04:04.280 a rider because she's love that era. She love that era? Oh yeah, 49 00:04:04.680 --> 00:04:09.800 yeah, okay, So where does everything start for you? You are 50 00:04:10.039 --> 00:04:13.280 you were born in Portland? Is that crract? Born and raised in Portland? 51 00:04:13.400 --> 00:04:15.519 Yeah, I grew up on Hawthorne Street, which is like, you 52 00:04:15.560 --> 00:04:19.399 know, the artsy district street. It was the it was the heart of 53 00:04:19.439 --> 00:04:25.240 Portland when I was growing up there, at least it felt like so I 54 00:04:25.279 --> 00:04:28.839 just got to watch it turn into like a weird, quirky city all around 55 00:04:28.839 --> 00:04:30.879 me. Or maybe I was going through puberty. Who's to say, But 56 00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:35.279 like when I grew up, I'd say in the nineties, in the early 57 00:04:35.399 --> 00:04:43.720 nineties, Portland felt like a shitty older brother that would come to a birthday 58 00:04:43.759 --> 00:04:46.360 party and give everyone weed, you know what I mean, Like a stoner 59 00:04:46.439 --> 00:04:49.920 dude that was like hanging out with his nephew and it's like, that's not 60 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:56.600 the license kids, I think, Yeah, he's yeah, he's listening to 61 00:04:56.680 --> 00:05:01.759 Creedon's Clearwater Revival a lot and he's like twenty four. Yeah, that's that's 62 00:05:01.839 --> 00:05:05.279 old Portland. And as Portland, oh I mean Portland I feel like now 63 00:05:06.199 --> 00:05:12.199 is people think of it as queer, like huge, like that sort of 64 00:05:12.279 --> 00:05:15.040 vibe has Was that the case back when you were growing up or not so 65 00:05:15.160 --> 00:05:21.439 much in the nineties, Like what was that there was like people like outwardly 66 00:05:21.560 --> 00:05:28.079 queer or not. Yeah, there was like I remember the first gay couple 67 00:05:28.120 --> 00:05:33.160 I ever met, and it was through my aunt and uncle and it was 68 00:05:33.199 --> 00:05:38.439 in Grant's Pass, Oregon, which is like two or three hours middle of 69 00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:44.319 nowhere drive from Portland, kind of in the desert, and they're just like, 70 00:05:44.360 --> 00:05:47.399 hey, here's these guys. It's two guys. They're guys. And 71 00:05:47.439 --> 00:05:50.240 we were like, okay, you gotta start with a guy. Yeah, 72 00:05:50.439 --> 00:05:55.040 as a kid, like that's just always the order. I yeah, because 73 00:05:55.079 --> 00:06:00.600 they're friendlier than lesbians. It's like it's like a more base. Yeah, 74 00:06:00.639 --> 00:06:03.600 it's like babies. You're climbing the ladder of understanding queerness and you start with 75 00:06:03.839 --> 00:06:08.199 you start with two guys. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if that's 76 00:06:08.240 --> 00:06:13.680 been yeah, but that was the first exposure. And then there was this 77 00:06:13.800 --> 00:06:18.560 ballot measure called Ballot Measure nine, and it hit in like nineteen ninety when 78 00:06:18.560 --> 00:06:21.160 I was in fifth grade, so I was ten years old, and it 79 00:06:21.279 --> 00:06:27.920 was about prohibiting same sex partnerships. But it was before gay marriage was even 80 00:06:27.920 --> 00:06:30.560 like a conversation in any way, shape or form, or maybe it was 81 00:06:30.560 --> 00:06:33.800 like prohibiting gay people from teaching or something like that. But it was the 82 00:06:33.800 --> 00:06:41.600 first time that gayness was ever like a conversation in terms that was reaching me. 83 00:06:43.560 --> 00:06:47.079 It was the first exposure I ever had to gayness as a controversy because 84 00:06:47.079 --> 00:06:53.639 it was the first time I ever knew about it, and so I don't 85 00:06:53.680 --> 00:06:56.240 know, I got a mixed message from it, Like my mom's a catholic 86 00:06:56.439 --> 00:06:59.720 Mega Maggie as I refer to her on my album. Yes, yeah, 87 00:07:00.279 --> 00:07:04.360 she features heavily. Yeah, she's the co star one. Yeah, she's 88 00:07:04.399 --> 00:07:10.480 a supporting character for sure. This whole album basically is her fault when you 89 00:07:10.519 --> 00:07:15.560 think about it. But yeah, she she was like a lot more liberal 90 00:07:15.600 --> 00:07:19.199 when I was a kid, and then Fox News corrupted her later, So 91 00:07:19.240 --> 00:07:24.279 she wasn't giving me like a lot of anti gay messages growing up. It 92 00:07:24.439 --> 00:07:30.920 just never came up. But I figured out I was bisexual like pretty early 93 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:33.199 on. Like I was gonna say, as far as my gay root goes, 94 00:07:33.800 --> 00:07:42.560 yeah, it was definitely April O'Neil from the Ninja Turtles Wait movie or 95 00:07:42.680 --> 00:07:51.720 cartoon cartoon cartoon cartoon, Yeah, yeah, the first cartoon Yellow that haircut, 96 00:07:51.800 --> 00:07:56.319 my goodness. Yeah no, and and just her moxie, you know, 97 00:07:56.399 --> 00:08:01.120 and her like her assertiveness and yeah, she's she's true here female and 98 00:08:01.160 --> 00:08:07.199 a male dominated field, Like definitely she had to perform amongst turtles to even 99 00:08:07.240 --> 00:08:15.439 get half the respective of me. Yeah, and it still wasn't wasn't going 100 00:08:15.480 --> 00:08:18.959 that well. She had the biggest scoops in her career. She was still 101 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:26.439 struggling, So yeah, I really yeah, okay, yeah, okay, 102 00:08:26.519 --> 00:08:33.120 and then then Rogue from the X Men, Ah also cartoon? Were you 103 00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:37.200 more cartoon based? I just drew a lot as a little kid, and 104 00:08:37.240 --> 00:08:41.600 that's like when I was there was a period where did you ever see the 105 00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:46.279 movie super Bad? That Okay, there's a scene in that movie where they 106 00:08:46.279 --> 00:08:50.519 talk about Jonah Hill as a kid and he's just drawn dicks over and over 107 00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:56.080 and over again. I was drawn boobs a lot. There was like like 108 00:08:56.240 --> 00:09:01.399 I was a horse girl and then I was a boob girl and I was 109 00:09:01.440 --> 00:09:07.039 like, well, yeah, I didn't you No, okay, No, 110 00:09:07.159 --> 00:09:13.279 I wasn't a pervert. I was just exploring power. Were they like disembodied? 111 00:09:15.000 --> 00:09:22.080 They were the rest period? Okay, that's great, okay, And 112 00:09:22.120 --> 00:09:26.200 did your mom ever like see that in a notebook and like ask about it 113 00:09:26.320 --> 00:09:30.000 or were you keeping it secret? Might have seen it, never asked. 114 00:09:30.759 --> 00:09:35.559 Wow, okay, did you know enough to be like I'm gonna make sure 115 00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:37.919 nobody sees these boobs? Or are you like sitting in class like drawing boots. 116 00:09:37.960 --> 00:09:41.240 Oh, it was home alone. It was like latch cute ship. 117 00:09:41.480 --> 00:09:46.759 Yeah. Mom had like a day job and she was also going to college 118 00:09:46.960 --> 00:09:50.240 and raising three daughters, and so it was fairal child time, you know, 119 00:09:50.320 --> 00:09:54.879 like we were all just yeah and winter the hell we wanted. And 120 00:09:54.960 --> 00:10:00.480 I chose to draw boobs after my Okay, look we all you know, 121 00:10:00.559 --> 00:10:03.559 everyone hasn't their own path. Yeah, I love that. I love that. 122 00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:09.279 It was very diy you know, yeah, yeah we didn't. There 123 00:10:09.360 --> 00:10:11.919 was no the internet wasn't you know. It was very naice and you couldn't 124 00:10:11.919 --> 00:10:15.200 just look at but if you want to see boobs, you had to draw 125 00:10:15.240 --> 00:10:18.600 boobs, like yeah that's dress. Yeah. I didn't go down to a 126 00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:22.399 river to go find porn like a creepy man wood. I just drew my 127 00:10:22.440 --> 00:10:28.279 own boobs and I was like, I love them. And I read a 128 00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:33.200 lot of comic books. I should say, like that's why That's another reason 129 00:10:33.240 --> 00:10:37.200 I was drawn boobs all the time was because like X Men from the nineties 130 00:10:37.759 --> 00:10:43.679 was all was drawn by like Jim Lee, and these guys started their own 131 00:10:43.720 --> 00:10:48.240 comic book company called Image Comics, and they all drew the most bizarre, 132 00:10:48.360 --> 00:10:52.759 disproportionate bodies. There's this one artist named Rob Leifield. Do you know about 133 00:10:52.759 --> 00:10:56.679 this? And I just don't know. I'm just like, so they really 134 00:10:58.320 --> 00:11:03.799 that's depressing. Yeah, powerful superhero women are just teetering on oh my goodness, 135 00:11:03.799 --> 00:11:09.080 like you should. It's just there should be chapters about it in modern 136 00:11:09.080 --> 00:11:13.240 feminism. But Rob Leifield is one of the funniest artists of all time. 137 00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:18.440 Like the dimensions he was using, it's a really super nerdy rabbit hole. 138 00:11:18.519 --> 00:11:20.200 I'm going down here. But that was the other reason I was drawn boobs 139 00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:24.960 all the time, because I was mimicking these comic books that I was a 140 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:28.799 fan of, and Rogue was a huge part of that. And yeah, 141 00:11:30.600 --> 00:11:33.600 I gotch yeah, yeah, yea, yeah, that's sorry. No, 142 00:11:33.759 --> 00:11:37.080 that's like classy because I when I hear X Men, I have never been 143 00:11:37.080 --> 00:11:41.759 cool enough. Comic books have always intimidated me because there's just like so many 144 00:11:41.799 --> 00:11:43.600 of that. But I was a huge fan of the X Men cartoon and 145 00:11:43.639 --> 00:11:50.039 then totally yeah, yeah, and my crush was on Jean Gray because and 146 00:11:50.080 --> 00:11:52.600 then it's like, why do I date these like really destructive women. It's 147 00:11:52.679 --> 00:11:58.240 like, well, there were early inklings that you that you're drawn to that, 148 00:11:58.679 --> 00:12:01.639 like, yeah, she seems really nice. Oh no, she's destroying 149 00:12:01.679 --> 00:12:05.279 the world like that. There's definitely a bit of that in my days. 150 00:12:05.720 --> 00:12:11.360 Why am I attracted in people who cannot connect with others? Literally? Yeah, 151 00:12:11.559 --> 00:12:15.600 she's X Men is honestly for like child therapist. I feel like it's 152 00:12:15.600 --> 00:12:18.120 like, who's your favorite? X Men? Is like a really good question 153 00:12:18.240 --> 00:12:22.720 to just ask an unsuspecting child, because my reveal, my reveal something as 154 00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:26.120 far as like a comic book, equally any sort of civil rights stuff goes. 155 00:12:26.159 --> 00:12:30.840 I mean, they didn't have a lot of black representation, but they 156 00:12:30.840 --> 00:12:33.840 were started, like stan Lee, the guy that created them, Yep, 157 00:12:35.720 --> 00:12:39.080 they were started as like an answer to the civil rights or a metaphor to 158 00:12:39.080 --> 00:12:41.399 the civil rights movement, you know, for as good as you know that, 159 00:12:41.600 --> 00:12:46.759 Yeah, I mean the mutants people of color. Well, I've I 160 00:12:46.840 --> 00:12:50.480 guess you can kind of draw some parallels if you want to be weird about 161 00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:52.759 it. I'm not saying it. I'm not going to say the words I 162 00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:56.840 think, but they're they're outcasts and they're misfits, and they're on them they're 163 00:12:56.840 --> 00:13:01.919 literally mutants. Like yeah, yeah, yeah, cool m I love that. 164 00:13:03.159 --> 00:13:07.679 So, yeah, those are my queer roots is a fantasy. Yeah, 165 00:13:07.799 --> 00:13:11.799 cartoons are a huge queer root. I was also a little Mermaid, 166 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:15.919 which is very more. Yeah, but yeah, cartoons are when you're little. 167 00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:20.159 That's a yeah. I mean Robinhood the Fox. Holy shit, right, 168 00:13:20.679 --> 00:13:24.399 I have shouted out Robinhood as a bye icon. Definitely, I have 169 00:13:24.559 --> 00:13:28.039 too. Yeah. Yeah, I ran a by show for a while, 170 00:13:28.279 --> 00:13:33.440 and we did a whole segment, a live comedy show about bisexuality. It's 171 00:13:33.480 --> 00:13:39.759 called the Bay Agenda, and we did a cartoon segment at the most bisexual 172 00:13:39.799 --> 00:13:45.200 cartoon characters. Nice and Robin Hood the Fox was number one. I also 173 00:13:46.559 --> 00:13:56.200 Yeah, also Donald ducks Hitler was up there too. Well, now I'm 174 00:13:56.200 --> 00:13:58.639 gonna have to google that after this and then Edible forever live in my search 175 00:13:58.720 --> 00:14:03.480 history. So that's on Donald Ducks Hitler. Oh, it's definitely Google of 176 00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:05.799 ball. It's it's I didn't know that was a thing. Yeah, I 177 00:14:05.799 --> 00:14:09.480 don't know. It was like he was playing Hitler in like a fantasy that 178 00:14:09.559 --> 00:14:13.320 Mickey was having about wanting to kick his ass. And there's always a reason 179 00:14:13.559 --> 00:14:18.120 why Donald Doug was dressed up as Hitler. There's always an excuse. But 180 00:14:18.159 --> 00:14:20.960 the fact of the matter is he made a choice, and I think that's 181 00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:26.240 true. That's true accountability for it. Okay, Wait, so I don't 182 00:14:26.240 --> 00:14:30.360 want to get ahead into a head So you're so you real when you say, 183 00:14:30.360 --> 00:14:33.000 like you realized you were bisexual early? Was that like an like you 184 00:14:33.080 --> 00:14:37.559 knew you were attracted, but was it an actual realization, like oh, 185 00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:41.399 there's something like different about me versus like my friends, or like, did 186 00:14:41.440 --> 00:14:43.000 you know the word bisexual? Because I know for a lot of folks that 187 00:14:43.039 --> 00:14:50.000 doesn't even enter into their like vocab until later you hear gay as a kid, 188 00:14:50.039 --> 00:14:54.799 but not necessarily bisexual. Yeah, I knew about it between like twelve 189 00:14:54.799 --> 00:15:01.679 and thirteen, I'd say, in ninety ninety three, and it was just 190 00:15:01.799 --> 00:15:07.080 part of like I don't know how I was exposed to the concept. It 191 00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:09.039 was just really natural, you know, Like how do some kids know they're 192 00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:11.320 gay? Growing up? I knew I was half gay. I don't know 193 00:15:13.480 --> 00:15:18.480 they just felt trendy for a second. Like definitely other girls who were in 194 00:15:18.519 --> 00:15:22.679 my social group, and we were all like the all kids at this school 195 00:15:22.679 --> 00:15:28.519 called Mount Tabor Middle School. Like I knew that they were trying it on 196 00:15:30.120 --> 00:15:31.600 as an identity to like, oh, I'm gonna try kissing a girl, 197 00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:35.440 because like, of course, why not. You know, we're all gonna 198 00:15:35.480 --> 00:15:43.200 fucking make out a little bit to a certain extent as kids. But yeah, 199 00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:46.759 I just knew I was. And there wasn't much of a journey, 200 00:15:46.759 --> 00:15:50.279 you know, Like I felt kind of bad thinking about my story in terms 201 00:15:50.320 --> 00:15:54.679 of like something that's mothworthy, because like I never really had a coming out 202 00:15:54.720 --> 00:16:02.120 moment so much as one time I was talking to my friend Leah and this 203 00:16:02.320 --> 00:16:07.919 was landline phones, and my mom picked up the other line and I didn't 204 00:16:07.960 --> 00:16:14.240 know it, so she was dropping in on the conversation. And it wasn't 205 00:16:14.279 --> 00:16:15.879 like she was like I'm going to make a call. Oops, I could 206 00:16:15.879 --> 00:16:21.679 have been. I mean, regardless, who knows who knows what looks in 207 00:16:21.720 --> 00:16:29.080 the heart of Mega Maggie, But regardless, she was lurking on my phone 208 00:16:29.120 --> 00:16:33.000 call. And so I was just talking to Leah and I was like, 209 00:16:33.080 --> 00:16:36.360 yeah, I think I'm by I thought about it. I like guys and 210 00:16:36.440 --> 00:16:38.480 chicks, and I don't think I'm just trying to be cool. I think 211 00:16:38.519 --> 00:16:42.200 that's what I am. And that was a reason a fear of mine is 212 00:16:42.240 --> 00:16:45.759 that people would just think I was trying to be trendy, you know, 213 00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:51.960 just like an insecure thing. But because that's the that's the cross I guess 214 00:16:51.960 --> 00:16:56.759 that bisexual people have to deal with. It's just like we're never taken seriously. 215 00:16:56.320 --> 00:17:03.319 Yeah but uh yeah. So mom listening on the phone call, and 216 00:17:03.359 --> 00:17:06.920 as soon as I got off the phone, she told me that I was 217 00:17:06.920 --> 00:17:12.160 going through a phase, which is another trope that bisexuals have to deal with. 218 00:17:14.240 --> 00:17:17.799 Mom was just like, it's just a phase. And that was a 219 00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:22.759 pitch perfect impression of her, by the way, and that was pretty much 220 00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:30.720 my coming out story was getting gas lit by my Catholic mother. Sold When 221 00:17:30.799 --> 00:17:36.960 she said that to you, was there any part of you that believe, 222 00:17:37.160 --> 00:17:38.799 like, I don't know what your relationship was with your mom as you were 223 00:17:38.839 --> 00:17:44.720 like that age, but like a parent saying something like that, do you 224 00:17:44.799 --> 00:17:48.279 do you did? Was part of you like, oh, maybe she's right, 225 00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:52.039 like maybe this is or were you like, well, I definitely thought 226 00:17:52.039 --> 00:17:57.680 she was a bitch. Okay, cool, cool, Yeah, we did 227 00:17:57.759 --> 00:18:02.720 not have an easy time coaxing as a kid, Like I was like a 228 00:18:02.799 --> 00:18:06.680 teenage runaway, but she would kick me out of the house. She'd kick 229 00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:10.720 me out of the house and then uh uh call the cops on me. 230 00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:15.079 So that's what I mean when I was a teenage runaway and she just didn't 231 00:18:15.079 --> 00:18:19.039 know how to deal with me because like my older I was the middle kid, 232 00:18:19.559 --> 00:18:23.240 and I have an older and a younger sister, and my older sister 233 00:18:23.359 --> 00:18:30.759 was very just like she was. She enjoyed following rules, and she was 234 00:18:30.799 --> 00:18:37.079 just like easy and was into homework and structure. And then I was like 235 00:18:37.119 --> 00:18:41.640 this weird, oblivious rebel where I was just like I don't get it, 236 00:18:41.720 --> 00:18:47.119 and then I just see whatever I wanted, and then I broke mom, 237 00:18:47.319 --> 00:18:51.200 and then my little sister got to just ride that and not have to deal 238 00:18:51.240 --> 00:18:56.720 with as many Like I just wanted purple hair and nose ring and for my 239 00:18:56.799 --> 00:19:02.160 mom that was like too much and that was the biggest even Importland even important 240 00:19:02.279 --> 00:19:04.839 in the nineties Portland. Yeah, what did she think was gonna happen? 241 00:19:06.359 --> 00:19:11.039 Like, yeah, she was so mad about it, and I can't believe 242 00:19:11.079 --> 00:19:14.079 how angry I sound about it now, you know, like that's so funny, 243 00:19:14.319 --> 00:19:18.480 but yeah, is the whole foundation of the therapy industry. We never 244 00:19:18.519 --> 00:19:23.039 get over. Yeah, but like if she had just let me do that, 245 00:19:23.319 --> 00:19:26.720 we would not have gotten to the point where she was kicking me out 246 00:19:26.759 --> 00:19:33.119 of the house, you know. But I was just like, dude, 247 00:19:33.160 --> 00:19:36.000 it's my hair, my choice, like of course, you know, of 248 00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:37.599 course it comes down in terms of my body, my choice with her. 249 00:19:38.079 --> 00:19:45.640 Yeah. Yeah, So and did on the album you mentioned did you drop 250 00:19:45.680 --> 00:19:49.119 out of high school as well? Yeah, I went to an alternative high 251 00:19:49.160 --> 00:19:53.720 school and that was just like it. First they went to like a magnet 252 00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:56.519 one, and then I went to an the moment I walked into the doors 253 00:19:56.519 --> 00:19:59.160 of high school, I was like, I don't want to do this. 254 00:19:59.480 --> 00:20:03.599 And then I went to this alternative one and that was just like where you 255 00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:08.480 worked through a textbook and got credits. And then I found this program added 256 00:20:08.519 --> 00:20:15.079 a community college where you can get like your ged by taking college classes too, 257 00:20:15.640 --> 00:20:18.559 and I was like, well, I'll just do that. So I 258 00:20:18.599 --> 00:20:21.799 got like two years of free college. That way, I'm not in college 259 00:20:21.839 --> 00:20:26.880 debt, So that's pretty cool. Yeah, were you just like looking to 260 00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:32.359 get out of the house. Were you just like when can I be old 261 00:20:32.440 --> 00:20:34.400 enough for financially stable enough to get out of the house? Was that like, 262 00:20:34.759 --> 00:20:38.000 yeah, that was an immediate goal. That was in immedia goals to 263 00:20:38.039 --> 00:20:42.640 get out as soon as I could and just live by my own terms. 264 00:20:44.480 --> 00:20:48.880 It took a little while for me to get there, but yeah, I'm 265 00:20:48.920 --> 00:20:53.519 independent now, but I definitely went through like a CouchSurfing phase because I left 266 00:20:53.599 --> 00:21:00.480 before I had like real skills. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So in 267 00:21:00.559 --> 00:21:04.319 terms of like it sounds like you had a lot going on like in adolescence. 268 00:21:04.359 --> 00:21:07.960 Were you like dating at all or was that just like I don't have 269 00:21:08.039 --> 00:21:11.920 time for this. I'm trying to like, oh no, deal with my 270 00:21:11.960 --> 00:21:15.440 mom, Like what was going on? Oh god, you just made me 271 00:21:15.480 --> 00:21:22.559 think of my first boyfriend. I'm so sorry, me too. I Oh 272 00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:29.119 god. He was a street kid and uh he played the he played the 273 00:21:29.160 --> 00:21:33.960 guitar, and he had a black trench coat. It was pretty awful. 274 00:21:37.119 --> 00:21:41.119 Yeah, my mom was furious because I was like fifteen and he was nineteen. 275 00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:48.240 So that's an age Telly and the Yeah, yeah, I think so. 276 00:21:48.599 --> 00:21:51.599 Yeah. Yeah, So that was like that was like a two year 277 00:21:52.440 --> 00:21:56.000 that was a two year relationship, which is a huge amount of time when 278 00:21:56.000 --> 00:22:00.559 you're a kid. Yeah, that's long. That's a very long time. 279 00:22:00.759 --> 00:22:04.759 That's honestly impressive to me. That's commitment, yes, I think. But 280 00:22:06.079 --> 00:22:11.279 so if you know you're attracted to women, but like, is that anything 281 00:22:11.319 --> 00:22:17.319 you're like acting on, trying to act on, Like is that too much 282 00:22:17.559 --> 00:22:21.240 to deal with on top of everything else, or like, was anything happening 283 00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:26.160 with that. I was pretty monogamous as a kid, and I didn't really 284 00:22:26.200 --> 00:22:32.119 like want to seek out any other relationships. But once we broke up, 285 00:22:32.200 --> 00:22:37.480 I was seventeen, and I was kind of like involved with a couple of 286 00:22:37.480 --> 00:22:42.079 people who were already dating and we'd all have sex together, so like three 287 00:22:42.160 --> 00:22:47.960 style like poly dating. Yeah, I was doing like a junior version of 288 00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:52.319 that. Yeah, but it was like super casual. But those are like 289 00:22:52.359 --> 00:23:00.160 my first female sexual experiences was in that friend group, and okay, yeah, 290 00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:07.039 and then I never really have had a steady girlfriend. I keep getting 291 00:23:07.039 --> 00:23:11.039 wrapped up in these monogamous, hetero relationships and it sucked all the life out 292 00:23:11.079 --> 00:23:17.279 of me. And now I'm just a divorced, forty three year old bisexual 293 00:23:17.400 --> 00:23:22.279 woman who had dreams of Alanis Morissett as an early child. You know, 294 00:23:22.039 --> 00:23:29.880 Ah, that's great, that's your like elevator pitch as a human. Yeah, 295 00:23:29.440 --> 00:23:32.680 that's that's just where I'm at in life, you know, slightly tired. 296 00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:38.039 No, it is, I feel like I'm I'm gay, So I'm 297 00:23:38.039 --> 00:23:44.759 not speaking directly from experience, but it's just if you're bisexual. I feel 298 00:23:44.799 --> 00:23:49.799 like for every one woman queer woman who you encounter or who expresses interest or 299 00:23:49.839 --> 00:23:53.440 who you're interested in, there's like twenty men. So it's like the odds 300 00:23:53.440 --> 00:24:00.559 are just so stacked that you're mostly gonna end up in those male relationship because 301 00:24:00.599 --> 00:24:03.799 men are just like coming at you like pinballs, Like they're like, hey, 302 00:24:03.799 --> 00:24:07.359 what's I buy your drink? Like it's just like the odds are the 303 00:24:07.759 --> 00:24:12.519 odds are heavily Yeah, that's literally it. Yeah, for two bisexual women 304 00:24:12.559 --> 00:24:17.359 to find each other. That's why we're called unicorns, you know, sure, 305 00:24:18.880 --> 00:24:22.440 because yeah, there's many of us, but it's hard to capture us, 306 00:24:22.759 --> 00:24:26.200 you know, Like and for two buy it's so hard for women to 307 00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:30.480 like hit on each other. I don't even know how to navigate it because 308 00:24:30.519 --> 00:24:33.640 like the default is that a man's going to be attracted to you or not 309 00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:37.839 going to be attracted to you. But then with women, there's so many 310 00:24:37.839 --> 00:24:42.079 other layers of friendship and complexities to explore before that even comes up. So 311 00:24:42.119 --> 00:24:48.160 that's like another deterge is just how complicated it is. Yeah, and women 312 00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:53.839 also a lot of us have the fear of like being perceived as predatory or 313 00:24:53.960 --> 00:24:57.839 like think like what if I come on to somebody and they're horrified because they 314 00:24:59.079 --> 00:25:00.880 just thought we were good for friends and I misread it, And there's like 315 00:25:02.200 --> 00:25:06.000 whereas like men never, I feel like men are never Like what if I 316 00:25:06.279 --> 00:25:08.160 come on to my female friend and she's not, I feel like, bet 317 00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:11.400 are just way more like fuck it, I'll go for it, and then 318 00:25:11.480 --> 00:25:15.440 women are just like I don't want to. Yeah, with so many, 319 00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:21.680 so many orgasms have been lost to women just being respectful. That's a beautiful 320 00:25:21.759 --> 00:25:25.200 and that's a tragic and beautiful Yeah put it. Yeah, And I think 321 00:25:25.240 --> 00:25:29.720 the balance lies somewhere in the middle, because I'm not advocating men just being 322 00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:33.599 like I'm gonna lean in and try to kiss my female friend like that should 323 00:25:33.680 --> 00:25:36.720 go well, like that that's not good either. But the thing that, 324 00:25:37.640 --> 00:25:42.400 yeah, we need a heavy medium of like a respectful way of doing it, 325 00:25:42.440 --> 00:25:48.200 but also like not missing out on countless possibilities. We need a hanky 326 00:25:48.279 --> 00:25:52.480 code for gay women. Shit, we should bring that shit back. Why 327 00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:59.200 don't we gay gay men got a hanky code? I need one that says 328 00:25:59.759 --> 00:26:07.160 look for either opportunity. I think we need to just be as blatant as 329 00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:11.640 like T shirts with actual words on. I think we've become like desensitized to 330 00:26:12.759 --> 00:26:18.240 flagging because it's like stuff used to mean something and now, like I feel 331 00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:22.200 like a nose ring used to be reliable, like that woman's queer, and 332 00:26:22.319 --> 00:26:25.079 now it's like everyone has a noser and you're like, fuck, what about 333 00:26:25.119 --> 00:26:27.519 a septem period? Yeah, is that still queer? As soon as the 334 00:26:27.640 --> 00:26:30.720 Christians do it, it's over, you know, as soon as it gets 335 00:26:30.759 --> 00:26:37.880 into like Christian culture. Yeah. I was just thinking, like, is 336 00:26:37.039 --> 00:26:42.519 maybe astrology is kind of flagging, But I feel like I feel like astrology 337 00:26:42.599 --> 00:26:48.599 is not fair to do because I'm like, I hate astrology so much, 338 00:26:48.680 --> 00:26:53.720 and I feel like it's a form of institutional It's like institutional accepted racism. 339 00:26:55.640 --> 00:27:00.880 Like, oh my god, I encounter a lot of I put back when 340 00:27:00.880 --> 00:27:03.319 I was on dating apps, which I'm not anymore. But when you know 341 00:27:03.359 --> 00:27:06.279 they always have a prompt it's like something you should know about me, or 342 00:27:06.319 --> 00:27:11.720 like I would always put like a funny thing that is basically saying I don't 343 00:27:11.759 --> 00:27:15.400 believe in astrology because it actually like is important for people to know that. 344 00:27:15.480 --> 00:27:19.119 And the number of passive aggressive messages i'd get just about that. It's like, 345 00:27:19.640 --> 00:27:22.000 why don't you just avoid me? I'm trying to let you know, 346 00:27:22.119 --> 00:27:27.079 to avoid me. Not a matge, but god, people get upset people 347 00:27:29.960 --> 00:27:36.039 wildlife choices based off of based on astrology. I've had friends that have been 348 00:27:36.119 --> 00:27:42.799 denied housing because if they're astrological sign like I grew up in Portland like that 349 00:27:44.039 --> 00:27:53.160 probably daily wow. Wow, yeah that is rough. That is rough. 350 00:27:53.200 --> 00:27:57.839 But yeah, I've absolutely seen people who will post the signs that they won't 351 00:27:59.240 --> 00:28:04.559 date and it's like what are we doing here? So yeah, yeah, 352 00:28:04.680 --> 00:28:11.279 astrology. Yeah, And I mean it's kind of fun when it's done positively, 353 00:28:11.400 --> 00:28:14.559 right because like you know, when you get a group of women who 354 00:28:14.559 --> 00:28:18.119 are all being like overly empathic with each other and like relating way too hard 355 00:28:18.160 --> 00:28:22.920 with each other, it's kind of fun because it's spooky witchcraft stuff. But 356 00:28:22.599 --> 00:28:26.079 then you can take it too far. It's kind of like with Taro, 357 00:28:26.039 --> 00:28:32.119 where like with Taro, it's fun because like you're getting a subconscious reading back 358 00:28:32.640 --> 00:28:36.839 yes, and you get questions that you actually, yeah, you can use 359 00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:40.480 it in a guiding way, and then it goes too far. I always 360 00:28:40.559 --> 00:28:45.680 read my horoscope like I'm not like anti like it's fun. But when people 361 00:28:45.880 --> 00:28:52.000 are like really just die hard, like you're saying about that kind of thing, 362 00:28:52.279 --> 00:28:55.039 I'm like, oh, it's such a turn off. It's like, 363 00:28:56.200 --> 00:29:00.559 it's just so when I feel isolated from the community as a as a queer 364 00:29:00.559 --> 00:29:06.160 woman who does not believe in astrology, that's when I really feel like you 365 00:29:07.319 --> 00:29:11.200 need a gatheist community. Yeah that's good. Yeah, I don't know where 366 00:29:11.240 --> 00:29:22.759 my place is. Both in terms of this is what I'm always so curious 367 00:29:22.839 --> 00:29:29.240 with comedians. When did you make the decision to start being like fully out 368 00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:36.759 and telling jokes about your sexuality because that's like such a hugely vulnerable thing to 369 00:29:36.839 --> 00:29:38.720 do. And then now that you've named your album, it's like that's the 370 00:29:38.839 --> 00:29:42.960 ultimate. It's like everybody knows right off the bat, which I think is 371 00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:48.680 really admirable, But like, yeah, at what point in doing comedy where 372 00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:52.720 you like I got to talk about this, and that means adding myself to 373 00:29:52.759 --> 00:29:55.359 a room full of strangers. Every time I do a set, like, 374 00:29:56.480 --> 00:30:00.519 I feel like I'm really clearly queer, you know, Like I feel like 375 00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:06.839 the voice that I have just IDs me is queer, like regardless, and 376 00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:10.759 just like the look on my face is just fucking you know. I'm a 377 00:30:10.799 --> 00:30:15.680 non I'm not a feminine person, and therefore, you know, as a 378 00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:19.440 woman who's not traditionally feminine, I'm immediately in a queer category. So I've 379 00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:26.039 never thought about the pressure of iding myself as by to a crowd. I've 380 00:30:26.079 --> 00:30:27.880 just always gone out there with the assumption that they knew that I was gay 381 00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:33.880 already. That's so interesting. Yeah, I feel like that has anything to 382 00:30:33.920 --> 00:30:37.440 do with growing up somewhere where that was because I like, I grew up 383 00:30:37.440 --> 00:30:41.039 in Connecticut, and I don't feel like regardless of who you look of like 384 00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:44.039 what you look like. I don't feel like a room full of people from 385 00:30:44.119 --> 00:30:47.240 Westport, Connecticut, but I feel like if they see a woman walk on 386 00:30:47.319 --> 00:30:49.519 stage, they're like, woman, probably married, and that's you know what 387 00:30:49.599 --> 00:30:52.640 I mean, Like, no matter what they look like, I mean that 388 00:30:52.799 --> 00:30:56.920 look I never went to like and open mic in Westport, Connecticut. But 389 00:30:56.039 --> 00:31:02.000 I feel like whereas in a place maybe like a Portland or San Francisco or 390 00:31:02.039 --> 00:31:07.559 like Seattle, maybe people are more looking at somebody's how they present and wondering 391 00:31:07.799 --> 00:31:11.119 about them. I feel like they are parts of the country where you walk 392 00:31:11.160 --> 00:31:18.119 on stage you're you're a woman, people will automatically assume hetero woman. Yeah, 393 00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:21.680 looking to be married if not married already. Well, like you just 394 00:31:21.680 --> 00:31:25.240 say, did a blind spot of mine? Is that? Like maybe I 395 00:31:25.279 --> 00:31:29.680 should be wondering if people seem sad about me, but I just always saw 396 00:31:29.680 --> 00:31:33.440 it. Oh, Also, I'm covered in tattoos. You are covered in 397 00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:37.839 tatches. Yeah, yeah, that is yeah. And might I think you're 398 00:31:37.839 --> 00:31:41.440 a skater? You don't know I'm a skater? Yeah a traditionally she rips 399 00:31:41.480 --> 00:31:49.119 up half pis skater, die dude. But yeah, like I just always 400 00:31:49.160 --> 00:31:53.319 thought everyone knew I was gay already, so might never. I never stressed 401 00:31:53.319 --> 00:32:00.000 about coming out about it. It's just there, you know it kind of 402 00:32:00.240 --> 00:32:05.480 it's like yeah, yeah, So they don't have a lot of internalized biphobia 403 00:32:05.559 --> 00:32:10.200 aside from just the regular struggle of people taking you seriously. Yeah, like 404 00:32:12.640 --> 00:32:15.119 it's hard to be taken seriously regardless, and then if you do a silly 405 00:32:15.160 --> 00:32:20.079 thing like walk around and bisexual people are gonna be like, oh, okay, 406 00:32:20.119 --> 00:32:23.920 you're clearly trying to get some attention. Oh you're a comedian who's bisexual. 407 00:32:24.240 --> 00:32:29.839 Wow, you are just really demanding all our eyes are on you at 408 00:32:29.920 --> 00:32:34.799 the moment. You know, do you in terms of if you've I know, 409 00:32:34.839 --> 00:32:38.200 you said you've never had like like a long term relationship or anything with 410 00:32:38.400 --> 00:32:42.880 a woman, But in terms of just like dating or dating might even be 411 00:32:42.920 --> 00:32:49.160 a strong word encountering encounters, do you fight leave that We'll leave it open 412 00:32:49.240 --> 00:32:55.440 ended. Do you gravitate more towards Is it like if there's another bisexual woman, 413 00:32:55.599 --> 00:33:00.000 is there more of that understanding or less they're gonna like, I think 414 00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:04.839 that it's a phase as opposed to when it's a lesbian woman. Do you 415 00:33:04.839 --> 00:33:12.000 feel like you encounter that more with like that kind of negative projection in terms 416 00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:15.599 of you're doing this for attention or something like that. Oh No, I'm 417 00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:19.839 just like when I'm okay, when I'm out there and I'm not in a 418 00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:23.240 dating state of mind right now, but like right now I'm in the middle 419 00:33:23.279 --> 00:33:29.720 of well, I'm getting started on moving to New York. So wow, 420 00:33:30.200 --> 00:33:32.799 yeah, it'll be cool. That's huge. Yeah, so that's might change 421 00:33:32.920 --> 00:33:37.559 the that's a great place to date as a career with Yeah, definitely. 422 00:33:37.799 --> 00:33:40.920 Yeah. I mean, but I'm just not in like a dating zone because 423 00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:45.960 it's like, I'm what's the point right now? But when I am in 424 00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:52.720 a dating zone, I'm trying to figure out if they're queer, and if 425 00:33:52.720 --> 00:33:57.079 they're single, and like just all of the signals that someone's going to throw 426 00:33:57.079 --> 00:34:00.440 out about, like you know, their lifestyle when they're telling an anecdote, 427 00:34:00.599 --> 00:34:04.680 you know, like if they say my partner and me clearly, oh they're 428 00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:07.840 not available, you know, just stuff like that, like just looking for 429 00:34:07.920 --> 00:34:13.400 clues. So you know, half the time when I am in a dating 430 00:34:13.519 --> 00:34:16.480 zone and I'm like hanging out in a group situation and then I zero in 431 00:34:16.519 --> 00:34:20.840 on someone who I might be interested in, I'm just doing detective work, 432 00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:27.800 you know. And then because I've always been more of a like the other 433 00:34:27.840 --> 00:34:32.079 thing is that most of the way that I ever meet anybody is by being 434 00:34:32.119 --> 00:34:39.239 a comedian. So that's a very weird dynamic to have after a show, 435 00:34:40.079 --> 00:34:45.719 because people's opinion of you is going to be based on your material that you 436 00:34:45.800 --> 00:34:51.519 presented, and so like, in some ways it's like kind of a power 437 00:34:51.599 --> 00:34:54.360 move because people can be really impressed by you. But otherwise, if you 438 00:34:54.360 --> 00:34:58.239 had a lousy set, get the fuck out because no one's gonna want to 439 00:34:58.320 --> 00:35:04.079 chat with you. Just disappear. But I don't know, I feel like 440 00:35:04.280 --> 00:35:08.440 I feel like people are intimidated by me after a set because I crushed that 441 00:35:08.719 --> 00:35:15.039 hard. No kidding, because you feel because so hard, people are like, 442 00:35:15.079 --> 00:35:20.360 wow, God is walking amongst us. You know, they're just cowering. 443 00:35:20.679 --> 00:35:24.119 They're just like, dare I make eye contact. That's why they won't 444 00:35:24.199 --> 00:35:28.199 do it is because they're like, wow, I can't even look at her. 445 00:35:29.039 --> 00:35:34.320 I think that's that's why it's But there is also a weird like vulnerable 446 00:35:34.440 --> 00:35:37.840 not vulnerability, but it's like they know all this stuff about you, you 447 00:35:38.079 --> 00:35:43.239 know nothing about them. And that's an automatic imbalance. It's an imbalance, 448 00:35:43.400 --> 00:35:49.599 and it's trauma dumping, and it comes from a desperate place of like needing 449 00:35:49.639 --> 00:35:53.679 to be likable. Like it's there's there's a lot of like and then I 450 00:35:53.719 --> 00:35:59.199 am not me when I'm on stage. I'm a different version. You're you're 451 00:35:59.239 --> 00:36:04.119 a heightened version. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, so 452 00:36:04.159 --> 00:36:07.239 it's just it's fucking weird as fuck. And I don't get laid off comedy, 453 00:36:08.719 --> 00:36:12.119 no, because you're a woman who does comedy, not a man who 454 00:36:12.119 --> 00:36:20.679 does get those rules like much I know it. It is like the imbalance 455 00:36:21.519 --> 00:36:25.719 is I got into comedy for susy and instead I've dried up audiences, right 456 00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:30.239 because you heard that that was what but you didn't realize that you were only 457 00:36:30.239 --> 00:36:31.840 hearing men say that, and you were like, ah, there's the rub 458 00:36:34.039 --> 00:36:38.360 or the lack of rub, the lack of rub. Yeah wow, okay, 459 00:36:39.079 --> 00:36:45.440 okay, So do you are you comfortable talking all about the marriage that 460 00:36:45.840 --> 00:36:50.760 is no more like how that played out? Or do you want to or 461 00:36:50.840 --> 00:36:52.960 is that part of your past that we want to leave in the past. 462 00:36:52.239 --> 00:36:55.679 We can talk a little bit about it. Yeah, I was in like, 463 00:36:55.840 --> 00:37:00.719 did you get good material at least? I hope? Yeah, I 464 00:37:00.719 --> 00:37:04.119 mean I don't. I tried not to write about him because they just don't 465 00:37:04.119 --> 00:37:07.440 want to hurt his feelings, and like, I don't talk about him a 466 00:37:07.480 --> 00:37:13.159 lot in a public way or privately because I don't want to hurt his feelings. 467 00:37:13.559 --> 00:37:15.920 You know, what's not fair to him is that we were together for 468 00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:20.800 like seven years, and then I decided that I wanted to do comedy. 469 00:37:21.559 --> 00:37:28.760 So that's like, oh interesting, Yeah yeah, so like that's wow, 470 00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:32.280 okay. And then in order to like do comedy, you have to go 471 00:37:32.360 --> 00:37:37.679 out every single night for a couple of years before you're like competent enough to 472 00:37:37.800 --> 00:37:42.960 like not have to be in a grind mindset. Yeah. Yes, So 473 00:37:44.039 --> 00:37:46.480 for a minute, I was like and then this blood into the end of 474 00:37:46.480 --> 00:37:51.480 our relationship was that I was just like, hey, I'm gonna go get 475 00:37:51.480 --> 00:37:59.280 completely obsessed with this entirely separate thing from you. But also we just were 476 00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:06.079 segment you know, like we I was abusing drugs and alcohol like just as 477 00:38:06.119 --> 00:38:09.000 much as I could, Like I was just cramming as many intoxicants into my 478 00:38:09.039 --> 00:38:15.280 brain as I could for as long as I could. And uh, then 479 00:38:15.559 --> 00:38:21.119 we extended our relationship because I started doing comedy while we were together, and 480 00:38:21.920 --> 00:38:27.679 he got into like buying and selling rare coins and turning that into a business 481 00:38:27.719 --> 00:38:32.199 on eBay, and so that was like this nerdy field that had absolutely nothing 482 00:38:32.199 --> 00:38:36.400 to do with anything that I was interested in, and he had no interest 483 00:38:36.440 --> 00:38:40.079 in my comedy, and so we just were living completely different lives. And 484 00:38:40.360 --> 00:38:45.760 just grew further and further apart, and I was getting drunker and drunker because 485 00:38:45.800 --> 00:38:50.760 we were growing further apart. So it was just like when you look at 486 00:38:50.800 --> 00:38:57.000 like this is so random a Hubble telescope photo of two universes that are like 487 00:38:57.159 --> 00:39:01.119 sucking at each other, but there's still like in each other's gravity. That's 488 00:39:01.159 --> 00:39:07.239 what it felt like. And we were doomed. So I have no idea 489 00:39:07.280 --> 00:39:09.719 why we lasted fifteen years, to be honest with you, like, because 490 00:39:09.760 --> 00:39:16.440 it felt wow, it felt pretty. That's such a huge amount of time, 491 00:39:16.800 --> 00:39:22.280 especially between the ages of like twenty three to thirty eight, which from 492 00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:27.199 my age Israel, I was with him, Like those are really prime discovering 493 00:39:27.199 --> 00:39:32.440 yourself, figuring like traveling kind of years or like even digging into a career. 494 00:39:32.519 --> 00:39:36.840 But instead all I did, and it's not to say that this is 495 00:39:36.880 --> 00:39:39.039 his fault, but all I did was just get as wasted as I could. 496 00:39:40.119 --> 00:39:43.840 So, you know, like, I'm not really proud of the time 497 00:39:43.880 --> 00:39:49.840 that I spent. And I was clearly just like trying to obliterate myself for 498 00:39:49.880 --> 00:39:57.360 some reason. And once I got out to Colorado, I had to live 499 00:39:57.400 --> 00:40:00.400 through the pandemic, and then once I got to through the pandemic, I 500 00:40:00.480 --> 00:40:06.519 started realizing I should go sober, you know, like it correlated. Right 501 00:40:06.559 --> 00:40:12.760 around the time vaccines happened and had like reopened society was when I kind of 502 00:40:12.880 --> 00:40:17.320 just got enough sunshine to be like, oh, I've ruined my life and 503 00:40:17.760 --> 00:40:22.559 now I gotta quit drinking and like reclaim some time. So that's where I'm 504 00:40:22.559 --> 00:40:30.159 at now, kind of wah. Yeah, yeah no, And you do 505 00:40:30.320 --> 00:40:35.519 mention going sober or Colorado sober, which we call California's sober here. I 506 00:40:35.639 --> 00:40:43.719 love that every state has it's Yeah, but yeah, no, I think 507 00:40:43.800 --> 00:40:47.239 that's good. Congrats. I don't know what you said in terms of that, 508 00:40:47.360 --> 00:40:51.519 but to a powerful life story, I don't know. I guess congrats. 509 00:40:52.719 --> 00:40:55.320 I don't think it was that powerful of a life story that was just 510 00:40:55.400 --> 00:41:02.199 in a nutshell. I think getting sober it deserves deserves a congrats. Oh 511 00:41:02.239 --> 00:41:07.840 definitely, thank you. Yeah, it's still weird to be sober, Like 512 00:41:07.920 --> 00:41:14.159 it's still like it's been two and a half years ish and wow, so 513 00:41:14.199 --> 00:41:17.599 it's relative, it's like relatively new, but also it's every day I remember 514 00:41:17.639 --> 00:41:22.360 it, So it's like the longest amount of time ever because I remember every 515 00:41:22.400 --> 00:41:28.599 moment because I was present for it, you know, yes, yeah, 516 00:41:28.679 --> 00:41:35.119 no, I hear that. It's also I think being queer and sober is 517 00:41:35.480 --> 00:41:40.800 challenging because it's like we like bars are kind of like the place to meet 518 00:41:40.840 --> 00:41:45.760 people aside from dating apps, because it's like our like if in terms of 519 00:41:45.800 --> 00:41:50.320 meeting women, like like, if you're hetero, you can have a meet 520 00:41:50.400 --> 00:41:57.119 cute anywhere like supermarket, whatever. But if you're queer, you're like either 521 00:41:57.199 --> 00:42:01.199 on the apps or you're targeting places where you know other queer people will be, 522 00:42:02.079 --> 00:42:07.239 and those are often places that revolve around alcohol. So I think that 523 00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:12.199 is I think they're not being creative enough, and you should start going to 524 00:42:12.320 --> 00:42:17.880 like Birkenstock stores or super Ruin, go to an outlet, go to a 525 00:42:17.960 --> 00:42:22.079 bowl outlet and meet yourself a girl with a cute librarian glasses, you know, 526 00:42:22.400 --> 00:42:25.840 think outside the box a little bit, go to home depot. I 527 00:42:25.920 --> 00:42:30.480 should do that. This is good, This is good. This is what 528 00:42:30.519 --> 00:42:31.480 I need to hear. This is you know, I need to be so 529 00:42:31.559 --> 00:42:36.760 isolated that you think that bars are the only place for me as a bisexual 530 00:42:36.800 --> 00:42:38.599 woman. I want to meet a nice couple, you know, So I'm 531 00:42:38.639 --> 00:42:43.360 going to go to Whole Foods and I'm going to overreach a couple and touch 532 00:42:43.400 --> 00:42:45.559 a pineapple. There you go. It's a great place to meet a couple 533 00:42:45.679 --> 00:42:50.440 because you know, also financially like they're doing pretty good. Like yeah, 534 00:42:50.800 --> 00:42:54.000 yeah, that just speaks emotional stability in the relationship to be able to take 535 00:42:54.039 --> 00:43:00.639 a third person on and a tasteful palette. You know, that's all qualities 536 00:43:00.679 --> 00:43:05.239 that I'm looking for. I think that's a great I think that's great. 537 00:43:06.159 --> 00:43:10.639 Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay. Do you feel like that is more 538 00:43:12.159 --> 00:43:16.119 in terms of like getting involved with women? Do you feel like it is 539 00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:25.039 like easier or like more open to you at like couples as opposed to dating 540 00:43:25.400 --> 00:43:29.800 like a woman. I know you talk in your act about but it definitely 541 00:43:29.840 --> 00:43:31.840 feels like when I have been on dating apps, like a lot of reach 542 00:43:31.920 --> 00:43:37.920 outs from couples, like that does seem like the most accessible paths sometimes. 543 00:43:37.280 --> 00:43:42.039 Yeah, and I am. I've tried dating couples a few times, and 544 00:43:42.400 --> 00:43:46.920 yeah, they it's never really quite gotten off the ground each time because the 545 00:43:47.239 --> 00:43:55.599 dynamic within that relationship isn't ready for a third you know, like I'm just 546 00:43:55.719 --> 00:44:00.079 used as a sex toy or a prop and a failing marriage. That's what's 547 00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:07.559 happened twice. And you know, so it's kind of like they beg me 548 00:44:07.599 --> 00:44:09.880 and they decide if they want to stay together and break up whatever it is. 549 00:44:09.920 --> 00:44:14.039 It's like too big of a deal for me to even be a part 550 00:44:14.079 --> 00:44:20.119 of. So I don't know how to harness my superpowers. Much like Jean 551 00:44:20.199 --> 00:44:25.159 Gray and Oh I brought it all back, I can't. Yeah, but 552 00:44:25.880 --> 00:44:30.000 I like the idea of dating a couple in theory. I'm not opposed to 553 00:44:30.039 --> 00:44:32.679 it. It's just that, like you know, finding one person that's attracted 554 00:44:32.679 --> 00:44:37.599 to me is hard enough. Nevertheless, finding two people that are attracted to 555 00:44:37.639 --> 00:44:42.280 me that are also attracted to each other. Frankly, that's exhausting, and 556 00:44:42.360 --> 00:44:45.519 I going that fire. I don't have a better g for it. I 557 00:44:45.519 --> 00:44:49.719 think I say that in my joke. I'd was like, it's exhausting. 558 00:44:50.239 --> 00:44:53.320 I can handle my dog. That's about it. Yeah, I feel I 559 00:44:53.400 --> 00:44:58.800 fully may I feel exactly the sigh way and I'll here I'll end on on 560 00:44:59.000 --> 00:45:05.000 a positive. Uh. Do have you ever had an experience after show where 561 00:45:05.039 --> 00:45:08.079 people come up to you, whether it's in a place where they're maybe not 562 00:45:08.239 --> 00:45:13.079 super comfortable to be out or whether it's like anywhere where people are like, 563 00:45:13.639 --> 00:45:16.480 hey, like I'm also queer, I'm also by like thank you for talking 564 00:45:16.519 --> 00:45:20.239 about that, or like, do people like I don't know, I come 565 00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:23.360 out to you, like what, because when you're being that candid and opening 566 00:45:23.400 --> 00:45:27.599 yourself up, I'm wondering if you ever sort of get that and return from 567 00:45:27.639 --> 00:45:31.719 people who are like grateful that you're talking about all these things. Oh yeah, 568 00:45:32.119 --> 00:45:37.000 not so much with the queerness, but because of Anklestein's spondylitis, which 569 00:45:37.079 --> 00:45:42.639 is the spinal disease that I talk a little bit about yeah on the album. 570 00:45:42.880 --> 00:45:47.079 Because my upper spine is fused together, so as my lower spine. 571 00:45:47.159 --> 00:45:51.599 I don't know if if there's any part of me that isn't anymore. But 572 00:45:51.800 --> 00:45:55.760 it's like a disease. It's like really rare, and there's been a couple 573 00:45:55.800 --> 00:46:00.360 of times. I remember each time very specifically because it's always like really really 574 00:46:00.400 --> 00:46:06.119 special. But like you know, in the hundreds, if not maybe thousands 575 00:46:06.199 --> 00:46:09.280 or shows I've done, I've had like five people come up to me and 576 00:46:09.280 --> 00:46:13.000 be like, I've got a glusten spawn lights and then we like give each 577 00:46:13.039 --> 00:46:19.400 other really gentle hugs. Yeah. Yeah, So that's like, yeah, 578 00:46:19.639 --> 00:46:25.000 that's a really touching thing that happens. Definitely. Yeah, So yeah, 579 00:46:25.039 --> 00:46:29.960 okay, so now let's do all the plugging where people could listen to the 580 00:46:30.039 --> 00:46:34.679 album, where they could purchase an and or venmo you after they've listened to 581 00:46:34.719 --> 00:46:38.199 it. And I know also of a podcast, so if you want to 582 00:46:38.239 --> 00:46:43.280 talk a little about that and yeah, yeah, the best link to go 583 00:46:43.360 --> 00:46:46.320 to, if you know, depending on which form of media you use, 584 00:46:47.000 --> 00:46:53.239 is my record label's website, which is Blonde Medicine Records dot com. And 585 00:46:53.360 --> 00:46:58.280 you can search for my album there or and find like links to download it 586 00:46:58.320 --> 00:47:00.719 on whichever platform you use. But if you're comfortable enough just going to your 587 00:47:00.760 --> 00:47:07.119 platform, and by that I mean like iTunes or Spotify or Amazon, you 588 00:47:07.280 --> 00:47:10.199 just search for my name Andy Main, which is A N D I E 589 00:47:12.000 --> 00:47:16.320 M A I N and you can find my first album and my second album. 590 00:47:16.360 --> 00:47:21.079 That way. I've got a first album, Magpie, and that's like, 591 00:47:21.599 --> 00:47:25.400 okay, that's the album I recorded right when I left Portland to move 592 00:47:25.480 --> 00:47:31.480 to Denver. So this is like a perfect snapshot of like the Denver experienced 593 00:47:31.519 --> 00:47:38.320 before and after Denver. You can see my Colorado progression. But you can 594 00:47:38.360 --> 00:47:44.079 search for all of my work that way on Spotify or iTunes, Amazon, 595 00:47:44.119 --> 00:47:49.199 whatever, Andy Maine. And then first album is called Megpie. Second album 596 00:47:49.239 --> 00:47:52.880 is called Rocky Mountain By. And then I've also got a brand new podcast. 597 00:47:52.039 --> 00:47:57.519 It's called Recovering with Andy Maine. And it's a podcast about the act 598 00:47:57.519 --> 00:48:06.280 of recovery. Talk to people who you know, our addicts or are recovering 599 00:48:06.360 --> 00:48:09.679 from cancer or dealing with issues about leaving their religion, stuff like that. 600 00:48:09.800 --> 00:48:15.320 So it's an uplifting podcast about the active recovery and overcoming. So that's like 601 00:48:15.480 --> 00:48:22.039 my beautiful pet project right now. And yeah, yeah, I'm basically a 602 00:48:22.079 --> 00:48:24.760 saint, so you know, I was gonna say, yeah, how do 603 00:48:24.880 --> 00:48:30.119 we tithe to you? Yeah, oh, Andy dash Maine, my Venmo. 604 00:48:30.519 --> 00:48:35.159 I'm just teasing that. I just think it's so funny to plug a 605 00:48:35.239 --> 00:48:38.559 venmo. I'm like, yeah, I'm fair changing right now. Are you 606 00:48:38.599 --> 00:48:43.280 on social media and do you do Twitter, Instagram, any of those? 607 00:48:43.719 --> 00:48:47.320 Yeah, I'm on Instagram. That's probably the coolest one to find me at 608 00:48:47.559 --> 00:48:52.039 is Instagram. And it's Andy Maine. It's just my first and last name. 609 00:48:52.440 --> 00:49:01.079 And my podcast is there to recovery underscore podcast excellent, and I am 610 00:49:01.119 --> 00:49:07.360 at Lauren Flans on Twitter and Blue Sky Lauren Underscore Flanns on Instagram. The 611 00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:12.960 podcast is at coming Out Pod everywhere. The hashtag is hashtag coming out Pod. 612 00:49:13.239 --> 00:49:16.679 Shout out to my incredible patrons Carmel Caz Simone, Cayenne, Michelle, 613 00:49:16.840 --> 00:49:21.679 l Adri, Tanya Pooh, Tia, Kieren Smiley, Aaron Mitchell, Diego, 614 00:49:21.679 --> 00:49:25.760 Hernandez, and Beyonclexa dot com. And hey, we were just talking 615 00:49:25.760 --> 00:49:30.119 about tithing. You know how you can tithe for free if you want to 616 00:49:30.199 --> 00:49:36.360 leave. If you want to leave the podcast a five star review on either 617 00:49:36.840 --> 00:49:40.159 iTunes, Slash, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. That's an amazing way to 618 00:49:40.320 --> 00:49:45.599 support for free. And on iTunes you can even write a little review if 619 00:49:45.599 --> 00:49:49.920 you are so inclined. Andy, this was so much fun to talk to 620 00:49:49.960 --> 00:49:52.480 you. I really did enjoy your album. I hope that y'all listening. 621 00:49:53.039 --> 00:49:58.360 Go and check it out. And yeah, yeah, thanks for thanks, 622 00:49:58.559 --> 00:50:01.480 Thank you so much fun. I had a blast. Thank you. Sadie 623 00:50:01.480 --> 00:50:06.880 says good night, Oh, goodnight. Look at that donut. Die. 624 00:50:07.079 --> 00:50:09.400 I know she's so stoked. Yep, I'm gonna snuggle with her. See 625 00:50:09.400 --> 00:50:13.000 you later. Nice to meet you, Lauren. You're gonna fall all right. 626 00:50:13.119 --> 00:50:17.199 I'll see you all next week. Bye.