WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.480 --> 00:00:09.039 Let's hang up and let's talk about with lessons fans less and let's listen to 2 00:00:09.160 --> 00:00:18.239 to Lesbie and show less. Let's hang Hi everyone, welcome back to Let's 3 00:00:18.280 --> 00:00:27.120 hang Out, the podcast where girls like girls like boys do, knowing girls 4 00:00:27.160 --> 00:00:31.320 like girls like girls do. Let's do real true. Oh my gosh, 5 00:00:31.399 --> 00:00:34.159 let's change it. Petition for Haley Kyoko to change the lyrics to the song 6 00:00:34.280 --> 00:00:38.200 starting now, Starting now, Yes, from the West Coast, I'm Lee 7 00:00:38.200 --> 00:00:40.880 Holmes Foster from the East Coast, I'm Eli Bridgidia. To those who've been 8 00:00:40.880 --> 00:00:43.200 with us this whole journey, thank you as always for listening. If you're 9 00:00:43.200 --> 00:00:45.880 a new listener, welcome. We're excited to have you here. Here's what's 10 00:00:45.880 --> 00:00:53.039 happening this week, This week Less, This week in the LESBI is a 11 00:00:53.039 --> 00:00:55.479 place where you cant touchbase each episode, but things were going with the podcast 12 00:00:55.560 --> 00:00:59.840 or otherwise. In season seven, we're continuing to release our bonus Patreon episodes. 13 00:00:59.880 --> 00:01:03.479 You going to get those at bit dot lee Slash les Patreon. Our 14 00:01:03.640 --> 00:01:06.640 last two episodes were on The Kids Are all Right and The Fallout, and 15 00:01:06.719 --> 00:01:10.000 our next one will be on Red, White and Royal Blue. We're talking 16 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:15.120 about the boys the boys are going to get some attention for once. Fine 17 00:01:15.200 --> 00:01:18.000 might as well. Fine, we'll give it to you gay boys. We 18 00:01:18.200 --> 00:01:22.120 also want to remind everyone that you can listen to all the episodes of Journey 19 00:01:22.120 --> 00:01:26.120 to the Heart anywhere you get your podcasts. It's all out and you can 20 00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:29.640 prep for, you know, the second possible path that you're going to hear 21 00:01:30.079 --> 00:01:34.519 starting in June, also in the Greater Less Universe. Listen, it's been 22 00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:41.239 a hot minute. I have talked about Jojo Siwa and it breaks my heart. 23 00:01:42.359 --> 00:01:47.200 It breaks my little art to have to talk about where Jojo is right 24 00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:53.599 now, because I'm sure many of you have seen Jojo is rebranding. We're 25 00:01:53.640 --> 00:01:59.280 making a pivot, you know, and we're pivoting in a way that feels 26 00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:07.000 like maybe a little tone deaf. It's so rough, it's a little it's 27 00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:08.520 kind of it's kind of rough. It's kind of rough, and I'm like, 28 00:02:08.520 --> 00:02:12.719 listen, I want to be rooting for you, Jojo. I want 29 00:02:12.719 --> 00:02:16.439 to be behind you. You know, nobody wants to be behind you more 30 00:02:16.479 --> 00:02:20.719 than me, Jojo. But it's gosh, you're making it. She's making 31 00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:23.000 it's so hard. Okay, So let's let's discussing. So One of the 32 00:02:23.039 --> 00:02:29.879 things that happened is she has decided to rebrand herself as a bad girl, 33 00:02:30.120 --> 00:02:32.800 right quote unquote. So she's telling but I feel like, if you have 34 00:02:32.879 --> 00:02:36.680 to say you're a bad girl, you're not a bad girl. No, 35 00:02:36.800 --> 00:02:39.080 you know what I mean. She's like hard, Oh, I'm the first, 36 00:02:39.159 --> 00:02:46.479 and she keeps Also she said she's invented a new genre of music. 37 00:02:46.479 --> 00:02:52.960 It's all called And I feel like the big theme here is I think tone 38 00:02:53.000 --> 00:02:57.639 deaf. You're right is the right word. It's like, never had access 39 00:02:57.800 --> 00:03:04.960 to a computer. Yeah, like I've never been given any sort of his 40 00:03:05.240 --> 00:03:12.599 never listen to an album. I can't even fathom. I feel like we 41 00:03:12.599 --> 00:03:16.759 should wouldn't understand that you're not the first person to ever become a bad girl 42 00:03:16.840 --> 00:03:23.360 quote unquote, and you're not to gay, be gay and or to make 43 00:03:23.400 --> 00:03:25.680 gay pop music. I think we should we should just like do a whole 44 00:03:25.680 --> 00:03:30.560 episode on this la because honestly, I have so many things to say about 45 00:03:30.599 --> 00:03:32.560 what is happening, and some of the takes that I've seen that I think 46 00:03:32.599 --> 00:03:37.120 are like actually really great, and I feel like we could talk a little 47 00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:42.439 bit about like what's going wrong and how could you course correct at this point 48 00:03:42.599 --> 00:03:46.000 or like what is good? Like I just feel like I have a lot 49 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:50.719 of thoughts on this actually, and there's just there are things about it that 50 00:03:50.759 --> 00:03:57.680 are like so avoidable and so like just silly unnecessary about what's happening. And 51 00:03:57.800 --> 00:04:01.319 it feels like it's mostly like a like pr mistake, do you know what 52 00:04:01.319 --> 00:04:04.240 I mean? And I'm like, I it's there's no need for this, 53 00:04:04.319 --> 00:04:06.879 Like there's no need for it to be going down this way. It's so 54 00:04:08.080 --> 00:04:13.000 silly. It's like doubling down to I feel like it's like girl just just 55 00:04:13.080 --> 00:04:15.839 apologize, yes, but she's doubling down in a way that it's also like 56 00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:21.439 I feel like it's a really interesting case study in what happens when you are 57 00:04:21.480 --> 00:04:29.600 not educated about a lot of like queer things. You know, yeah, 58 00:04:29.639 --> 00:04:31.759 and you're just like I am gay, but I'm not in gay and like 59 00:04:31.839 --> 00:04:35.480 also there's a whole there's a whole other layer to Jojo ceo, which I 60 00:04:35.560 --> 00:04:40.879 feel bad about, which is just like the child starve at all, Yes, 61 00:04:41.040 --> 00:04:44.240 right, sure, the child starve it all. And the like you're 62 00:04:44.519 --> 00:04:50.800 young, like I get it, are not steeped in this context of like 63 00:04:51.560 --> 00:04:57.480 queer knowledge of history and like just there's a lot of stuff where like, 64 00:04:57.600 --> 00:05:00.680 it's interesting to me the way that this is being handled and from a queer 65 00:05:00.680 --> 00:05:05.279 perspective. I'm like, there's actually so much to dive into, so let's 66 00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:09.639 maybe we'll just be I'm sorry, but it's so much. We're going to 67 00:05:09.720 --> 00:05:12.519 dive in and talk about it more because I think we have a lot, 68 00:05:12.560 --> 00:05:16.519 there's a lot to discuss, and I think it's it's illuminating in like a 69 00:05:16.600 --> 00:05:21.560 queer perspective way that I actually find really fascinating. Also, in other gay 70 00:05:21.600 --> 00:05:27.000 news, women's basketball has but having a moment, yes, And I feel 71 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:30.240 like the funniest part about it is that, like there's all these memes that 72 00:05:30.279 --> 00:05:34.959 are like women's basketball and what lesbians have been telling us this whole time. 73 00:05:35.160 --> 00:05:40.600 Yes, yes, my other of course, my other favorite meme is people 74 00:05:40.600 --> 00:05:43.959 being like this is a big week for lesbians where everyone is into women's basketball 75 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:47.439 and the moon. Honestly, so true. I know, why don't we 76 00:05:47.439 --> 00:05:51.279 talk about the eclipse. It's a time, it's a time to be a 77 00:05:51.800 --> 00:05:59.600 queer lady is astrology and tall women like that's it. That's it. Okay, 78 00:05:59.639 --> 00:06:01.680 this next well point, Ellie, I specifically didn't put a whole lot 79 00:06:01.720 --> 00:06:06.600 of information because I want you to be experiencing this in real time for everyone 80 00:06:06.600 --> 00:06:11.959 to enjoy. Okay. So there's a new study, research study that was 81 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:15.439 done. Okay, and I want you to this is for for real the 82 00:06:15.519 --> 00:06:23.480 headline, NBC News headline, New research helps explain why lesbians report more orgasms 83 00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:27.279 than straight women, Okay, Okay. And so here's the thing. So 84 00:06:27.319 --> 00:06:30.319 they did this whole study because they were like, isn't it fascinating. They 85 00:06:30.319 --> 00:06:33.480 wanted to look into what's what's been known for a number of years. It's 86 00:06:33.519 --> 00:06:39.279 called the orgasm gap. Why do men report so many more orgasms when they 87 00:06:39.279 --> 00:06:43.439 have sex than women? Right? And it's also been known for years that 88 00:06:43.560 --> 00:06:49.319 lesbians report orgasm rates similar to men. Right. So it's basically like, 89 00:06:49.680 --> 00:06:56.879 people have sex, everybody is having orgasms except straight women, except for straight 90 00:06:56.920 --> 00:06:59.680 women. And so here's the thing. So they did this whole study where 91 00:06:59.720 --> 00:07:03.240 they surveyed women, lesbians, straight women, and bisexual women. And what 92 00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:08.240 they were trying to get an understanding of is like, why is there this 93 00:07:08.839 --> 00:07:14.560 discrepancy? Like what is what is causing this change? Okay, And so 94 00:07:14.639 --> 00:07:19.800 they asked them a number of questions where they asked about things like how important 95 00:07:19.839 --> 00:07:25.399 are orgasms? What are your expectations of having an orgasm? They asked about 96 00:07:25.439 --> 00:07:30.279 things like how much literal stimulation? How much? Like how important do you 97 00:07:30.319 --> 00:07:36.120 feel like orgasms are like in terms of like how actively they're being pursued by 98 00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:41.279 like both people. Okay, So here's what's so funny to me. They 99 00:07:41.279 --> 00:07:46.319 did this whole study and basically they're like, Yeah, everybody goes into sex 100 00:07:46.680 --> 00:07:54.040 wanting to get off, right, Like everybody has similar importance of orgasm. 101 00:07:54.720 --> 00:08:01.000 Bisexual women are like similar rate of like pursuing orgasms regardless of the of the 102 00:08:01.040 --> 00:08:05.920 partner in the in like the hypothetical that they're posing. Okay, but the 103 00:08:05.959 --> 00:08:20.279 only real difference that they found is the expectations of clteral stimulation and orgasms when 104 00:08:20.319 --> 00:08:24.480 the partner is a man, straight women, and bisexual women. Okay. 105 00:08:24.639 --> 00:08:26.920 But here's what I think is so funny is that they did this whole study 106 00:08:26.959 --> 00:08:31.600 and then somehow the outcome of the study is that they were like, oh, 107 00:08:31.639 --> 00:08:37.799 well, the only real difference we can find is the sexual script and 108 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:41.919 so they're just finding their sexual script as like what are the ideas and expectations 109 00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:46.960 that people have going into sex based on things like you know, like what 110 00:08:48.039 --> 00:08:50.960 they've seen in media, in porn, in whatever, Like is what does 111 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:56.240 people's picture of sex look like in their heads? And like that's the difference. 112 00:08:56.279 --> 00:09:01.639 And so the difference is that like they have this different sexual script in 113 00:09:01.679 --> 00:09:05.080 their head, and I'm like, how did you do this whole study and 114 00:09:05.120 --> 00:09:07.679 basically find a way to avoid being like the problem is men? Is men? 115 00:09:09.080 --> 00:09:11.879 The problem? They're like, no, no, no, no, 116 00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:15.840 it's the sexual script and You're like, oh, yes, it is men. 117 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:18.639 And the fact that the bar is literally below ground and they cannot clear 118 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:24.679 it and nobody wants to hold them accountable for it. That is incredible. 119 00:09:24.080 --> 00:09:28.840 What incredible? No, what are you talking about about? Of course, 120 00:09:28.120 --> 00:09:33.440 who conducted this study? Uh? Great question? This study conducted by men? 121 00:09:35.000 --> 00:09:37.120 Yeah? No, I honestly am I don't know. I don't know 122 00:09:39.039 --> 00:09:43.360 by men with bisexual girlfriends. No, it's a woman. It's a woman 123 00:09:43.840 --> 00:09:48.159 that they're interviewing. It is just it is deeply, deeply disappointing that they're 124 00:09:48.200 --> 00:09:52.360 basically like, yeah, the only difference is like when straight women have sex 125 00:09:52.559 --> 00:09:56.200 with men or when bisexual women have sex with men, their expectation is I'd 126 00:09:56.279 --> 00:10:01.759 love to have an orgasm, I probably won't because yeah exactly why Yeah, 127 00:10:01.840 --> 00:10:07.960 because I will not this man not to give the things that will and like 128 00:10:07.120 --> 00:10:11.759 that is just so so sad, so so sad. But also I feel 129 00:10:11.799 --> 00:10:16.919 like this is another example of like I know that this is the episode we're 130 00:10:16.919 --> 00:10:18.679 about to talk about this in, but like this is following us, Ellie, 131 00:10:18.679 --> 00:10:22.440 this idea is following us, And that's all I have to say about 132 00:10:22.440 --> 00:10:28.120 it. Okay, yes, the heteros yeah, the heater I read this. 133 00:10:28.240 --> 00:10:31.919 The hetero sexual script prioritizes the man's orgasm. Yes, not the man 134 00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:35.639 who is prioritizing his own orgasm, right, yeah, it's the script that 135 00:10:35.720 --> 00:10:39.360 has been written. Yeah yeah, that's he's just a bad script's yeah. 136 00:10:39.399 --> 00:10:43.720 Yeah, yeah that makes sense. I am obsessed with that. Thank you 137 00:10:43.759 --> 00:10:48.120 for sharing. You're welcome. That's what's happening this week. Back to you 138 00:10:48.120 --> 00:10:52.480 Allian Lee, thanks Alienly. We are so excited to bring you episode seventeen 139 00:10:52.960 --> 00:11:00.480 of season seven, Lesbian Master Talk this. First of all, I would 140 00:11:00.480 --> 00:11:03.799 like to say Lee and I chose this topic maybe three minutes ago, and 141 00:11:03.840 --> 00:11:09.919 I think it has to be my favorite episode we've ever done, and it 142 00:11:09.960 --> 00:11:13.919 hasn't even started we're thirty seconds in, so I cannot wait. So here's 143 00:11:15.039 --> 00:11:18.600 here's what's happening. We You might remember this came up on an episode earlier 144 00:11:18.639 --> 00:11:24.000 in the season when we were talking to Nikita that we looked up what is 145 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:28.840 sort of like a seminal text I think for like queers of a certain age, 146 00:11:30.039 --> 00:11:37.240 right like, this was formational for us, right like, this was 147 00:11:37.720 --> 00:11:41.919 a wait this when did it come out? The Lesbian master Dog did it 148 00:11:43.000 --> 00:11:46.080 about like a while ago. I feel like this was like early aughts, 149 00:11:46.120 --> 00:11:50.279 am I like completely reimagining this in my head. It was published in twenty 150 00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:54.039 eighteen. What yeah, So you're making that up? Then maybe there was 151 00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:56.919 like an uther there might have been an earlier similar version that I'm remembering looking 152 00:11:56.960 --> 00:12:01.080 at Okay, whatever, whatever this is, there's a document that exists that 153 00:12:01.399 --> 00:12:11.480 we find just just so hilarious, wonderful, so delightful, so so joy 154 00:12:11.799 --> 00:12:16.879 giving in its existence that I feel like, I feel like there have to 155 00:12:16.919 --> 00:12:18.960 have been things that existed earlier. I'm sure there were plenty of things that 156 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:24.120 told you that told you say, yeah, I'm sure this I think is 157 00:12:24.159 --> 00:12:26.879 okay, So that we're going to talk about the Lesbian master Doc today right, 158 00:12:26.240 --> 00:12:31.200 and it's called am I a Lesbian? It's a thirty one page document, 159 00:12:31.799 --> 00:12:35.799 and I think this is like a sort of like combination of various sources 160 00:12:35.840 --> 00:12:41.879 prior to twenty eighteen that someone just put all together right and wrote this comprehensive 161 00:12:41.039 --> 00:12:46.519 thing of like, here's all the reasons you are a lesbian, and some 162 00:12:46.600 --> 00:12:52.200 of I will delightful. This is a quite this is quite a controversial document, 163 00:12:52.320 --> 00:12:54.759 and even that's why I think it's hilarious. It'll be great for us 164 00:12:54.799 --> 00:12:58.240 to talk about. I don't think this is like an end all be all, 165 00:12:58.320 --> 00:13:00.960 Like if you read this document in there things in it like of course 166 00:13:00.960 --> 00:13:03.919 you're lesbian, Like there's so much more nuance to it, but no, 167 00:13:03.159 --> 00:13:07.399 fract that's the answer, la, You can't the answer. This is the 168 00:13:07.480 --> 00:13:09.039 matter. But there are some things that you read and you're like, oh 169 00:13:09.080 --> 00:13:13.200 shit, light bulb, and then other things where I'm like what was this 170 00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:16.759 person writing? I said this before in the previous in the episode when we 171 00:13:16.759 --> 00:13:22.000 talked about it. Part of it also does read like I'm madly in love 172 00:13:22.039 --> 00:13:26.120 with my best friend and I wrote a thesis to be like, yes you 173 00:13:26.200 --> 00:13:31.000 must be gay as well. Yes, Like it's literally like if you used 174 00:13:31.480 --> 00:13:35.080 a pollypocket lunch box in the second grade, you are, yeah, yea 175 00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:41.519 gay bitch. So here's the thing. We it came up. We talked 176 00:13:41.519 --> 00:13:43.960 about it a little bit with THEI Kida, but it's just it's been in 177 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:48.639 our minds and we wanted to like really give it, yeah, the time 178 00:13:48.879 --> 00:13:58.679 and the consideration and care that it deserves as such a beautiful and absolutely unarguable 179 00:13:58.759 --> 00:14:03.840 piece of evidence of everybody's homosexuality. So you know, listen, I just 180 00:14:03.720 --> 00:14:07.279 I just think we wanted to dive in. So we're literally gonna be. 181 00:14:07.320 --> 00:14:09.919 If you have not, you can look it up. You just google lesbian 182 00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:13.759 master doc is pretty Yes, am I a lesbian under underscore master doc dot 183 00:14:13.799 --> 00:14:18.799 pdf dot pdf. So we're we're just gonna be going through and kind of 184 00:14:18.840 --> 00:14:22.600 like in real time streaming our thoughts about this. Yes, okay, all 185 00:14:22.679 --> 00:14:26.000 right, So let's start from the beginning. The beginning of this doc is 186 00:14:26.039 --> 00:14:31.519 all about compulsory heterosexuality, right, and to you, to you, Lee, 187 00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:33.440 I guess let's just talk about your personal experience with this. Sure, 188 00:14:33.519 --> 00:14:37.720 how much did compet you? You came out sort of relatively early, but 189 00:14:37.799 --> 00:14:41.519 like I feel like, how much compet did you exit did you have to 190 00:14:41.559 --> 00:14:45.559 deal with before you came out? I mean, so, here's the thing 191 00:14:45.759 --> 00:14:48.879 is, like we were just talking about this when we when we did our 192 00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:52.840 fie for a DEBTA episode. Right, it is like comppet even for me 193 00:14:52.879 --> 00:14:56.360 and like I did come out pretty young, is like it's unavoidable. Like 194 00:14:56.559 --> 00:15:03.360 I still remember like actively going into magazines and like cutting out pictures of all 195 00:15:03.399 --> 00:15:07.799 the like you know, the Josh Hart knits of the era and like putting 196 00:15:07.799 --> 00:15:11.919 them up on my wall. Did I care about them at all? No? 197 00:15:13.039 --> 00:15:15.559 But you were like, but this is who all my friends are talking 198 00:15:15.600 --> 00:15:20.440 about, Like they're all into Hyden Christensen. I should be cutting his picture 199 00:15:20.480 --> 00:15:26.240 out. Ooh, you McGregor are so dreamy, even when the reality was 200 00:15:26.440 --> 00:15:31.840 like I was not watching Mula Rouge and picturing myself suck and face with you 201 00:15:31.879 --> 00:15:37.840 and McGregor, like, let's be real, let's be real about that. 202 00:15:37.840 --> 00:15:41.600 That's not what was happening up in this brain, okay, Like I was 203 00:15:41.639 --> 00:15:45.679 not being like, oh yeah, he's so strong in those big arms, 204 00:15:45.720 --> 00:15:48.600 Like it just wasn't it. It wasn't it. But that's who you'd cut 205 00:15:48.600 --> 00:15:50.440 out and put on your wall, because then you could cut out the picture 206 00:15:50.440 --> 00:15:52.759 of the two of them, right, and like, so I mean you 207 00:15:52.799 --> 00:15:56.879 do. It's like you you play that game, you pick the like I 208 00:15:56.039 --> 00:16:00.480 remember, like the crushes that you'd have, like, oh, yeah, 209 00:16:00.480 --> 00:16:03.399 who are you going to tell your friends that you have a crush on? 210 00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:06.840 Who is that? Who's the who are the hot popular guys? Who's it 211 00:16:06.879 --> 00:16:10.600 gonna be? Right for me? I feel like it was always because I 212 00:16:10.679 --> 00:16:12.799 was such a tomboy too, so it was like, oh, yeah, 213 00:16:12.919 --> 00:16:18.639 I'm the only girl with all these like guys playing video games. So it's 214 00:16:18.679 --> 00:16:22.039 like, well, I have to like one of them. Yeah, I 215 00:16:22.039 --> 00:16:26.840 guess I'll pick guess, Yeah, I guess I'll pick like the nicest one, 216 00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:27.519 you know what I mean. I'm like, yeah, sure. And 217 00:16:27.559 --> 00:16:30.200 that's the thing too. So one of the funny things here, so as 218 00:16:30.200 --> 00:16:34.840 we go, as we go on, it says number one, the celebrities, 219 00:16:34.919 --> 00:16:40.759 right, I like fictional men slash male celebrities. Yeah right, love 220 00:16:40.840 --> 00:16:45.720 that. And also I think I've liked men before question mark. It's like 221 00:16:45.240 --> 00:16:52.879 that is a super difficult thing to define, right, because of compulsory heterosexuality. 222 00:16:52.720 --> 00:16:56.720 I was talking about, like I have a crush on this boy in 223 00:16:56.759 --> 00:17:02.600 like second grade right. So it's like, of course you've liked men before, 224 00:17:02.919 --> 00:17:06.519 because it's like what has been pushed on you. And one of the 225 00:17:06.519 --> 00:17:08.200 things that I do like about the stock is it says, I like this 226 00:17:08.319 --> 00:17:12.240 quote, if you don't care about men or but no longer like to be 227 00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:21.119 with them, you can be a lesbian now fun fact fun fat But I 228 00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:23.000 like it. It's it's not illegal. Yeah, you can just do it. 229 00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:27.079 It's a now identity. Right. So it's just it's as much as 230 00:17:27.079 --> 00:17:30.079 some shit in here is like, oh my god, what are you saying. 231 00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:37.480 I appreciate that, like your past relationships don't matter with your current identity. 232 00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:41.839 Yeah, your past relationships don't factor in, right, Yeah, it's 233 00:17:41.880 --> 00:17:44.839 you know what's funny is like not okay, not to like completely throw my 234 00:17:44.839 --> 00:17:47.480 father under the bus, because let's okay, this is a long time ago 235 00:17:47.640 --> 00:17:49.880 everyone. This is when I first came out, and you know, two 236 00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:55.279 thousand and three or whatever, so like we've we've moved past all of this. 237 00:17:55.359 --> 00:17:57.000 But I just I remember when I was in high school. So I 238 00:17:57.000 --> 00:18:00.480 I again, I was watching Buffy, you know, like in real time 239 00:18:00.680 --> 00:18:04.359 when it was happening and we were watching it was before I came out when 240 00:18:04.400 --> 00:18:10.920 Willow started dating Tara on the show, right, And I have like the 241 00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:14.440 most vivid memory of having a conversation with my father where he was like, 242 00:18:14.519 --> 00:18:17.200 He's like, I don't know, just doesn't seem realistic to me. I 243 00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:22.319 specifically remember it because it was happening at such a crucial point of time in 244 00:18:22.359 --> 00:18:26.240 my life, right where I had had boyfriends and stuff. And what he 245 00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:30.079 was saying is he was like, it just doesn't make sense because she's always 246 00:18:30.200 --> 00:18:33.359 dated guys, she's been interested in guys, Like, and how would she 247 00:18:33.480 --> 00:18:37.319 not have known? Right? How would this be like a new development in 248 00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:41.400 college? Right? Like, how could you be that old and not ever 249 00:18:41.480 --> 00:18:45.440 have realized that you're attracted to women as well? And the thing is is, 250 00:18:45.480 --> 00:18:51.319 like, I that is a super common, not just response, but 251 00:18:51.400 --> 00:18:56.440 like it is an incredibly common logical way for straight people to think about something 252 00:18:56.519 --> 00:19:02.759 like this, because it doesn't exist to straight people. Well yeah, because 253 00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:06.279 for straight people, they're like, I've been straight this entire time because that's 254 00:19:06.319 --> 00:19:10.759 the only path that might because I was going on yeah yeah. And so 255 00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:12.319 the thing is is like to them, they're like, well, yeah, 256 00:19:12.440 --> 00:19:18.319 that's always been there. How could you not know something that must have always 257 00:19:18.359 --> 00:19:22.279 been there as well, and it is it gets so lost on them, 258 00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:29.359 the concept of how easily we just shove anything else down and out of the 259 00:19:29.400 --> 00:19:34.440 way and like just put huge blinders on, like starting as kids, right 260 00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:37.559 to be like there is only one way. This is the way, and 261 00:19:37.599 --> 00:19:41.119 you don't realize it until all of a sudden, right, Like I mean 262 00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:45.039 you have to like physically remove those blinders from yourself sometimes like that painfully, 263 00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:49.799 like painfully. You can take a number a number of like far more than 264 00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:53.960 eighteen years until you're a freshman in college, like dating your first and girl. 265 00:19:55.079 --> 00:19:59.359 You know, I'm like, it's so it's so laughable now to look 266 00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:03.319 at that state and be like, well, obviously she didn't realize it because 267 00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:07.359 she'd only dated guys and only had the option of dating guys in front of 268 00:20:07.359 --> 00:20:11.720 her, Like that's so clear, right, yeah, Like she realized it 269 00:20:11.799 --> 00:20:15.720 because she realized she was attracted to this woman and was like binging being the 270 00:20:15.799 --> 00:20:18.960 lights are going off in my head. I Mean. There's a part of 271 00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:22.640 the Lesbian Master doct two that says the common misconception is everyone's born knowing that 272 00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:26.079 they are gay, yes, yes, and and that is and that is 273 00:20:26.119 --> 00:20:29.880 it's such a catch twenty two. It's such a catch twenty two to put 274 00:20:29.960 --> 00:20:32.440 queer people in to be like, hey, we are going to make sure 275 00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:37.079 that you have absolutely no awareness or concept of anything other than heterosexuality. And 276 00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:41.160 then also if you haven't been loudly proclaiming your gayness since you came like out 277 00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:45.359 of the womb with a little rainbow flag, then like we won't believe you. 278 00:20:45.640 --> 00:20:48.880 Yeah, and you're like, get the fuck yeah, Like no, 279 00:20:48.079 --> 00:20:51.920 that's not how it works, Like you can't shove this down our throat and 280 00:20:51.960 --> 00:20:55.640 then not expect us to regurgitate it at you for the first you know, 281 00:20:55.720 --> 00:20:59.759 like however many years it takes, Like that's what that's what happens. Like, 282 00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:03.960 oh, it's so crazy she dated men since she was in high school. 283 00:21:03.039 --> 00:21:06.920 Like of course she did, because yeah, there's no other option. 284 00:21:07.400 --> 00:21:08.640 Well, and you know what else is funny is like I say all the 285 00:21:08.680 --> 00:21:11.680 time, it's like my running my running joke, because I'm always like I 286 00:21:11.720 --> 00:21:14.960 feel like as I get older, I only get gayer. And I think, 287 00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:18.359 actually, all I mean by that is I just like let go of 288 00:21:18.440 --> 00:21:21.200 more and more of compet as I get older. Yes, you know, 289 00:21:21.839 --> 00:21:26.759 like you just learn to realize and identify some of the things that have been 290 00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:32.400 sort of forced onto you by this mentality and realize that like they don't matter 291 00:21:32.440 --> 00:21:34.000 and they're not real and you don't have to hold onto them, you know. 292 00:21:34.680 --> 00:21:38.240 So I feel like the the I do get gayer, good for me, 293 00:21:38.519 --> 00:21:44.440 good for you. And yeah, and also like any, I feel 294 00:21:44.440 --> 00:21:49.319 like it's so complicated because because of comp Like it's sort of what Nikita was 295 00:21:49.319 --> 00:21:55.960 saying too. As a bisexual woman, Compet's even more complicated. And yet 296 00:21:56.720 --> 00:22:00.920 because you're like, okay, am I lesbian? Am I by? Am 297 00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:03.519 I? Like? And it's like you're just like, wait, what the 298 00:22:03.960 --> 00:22:07.079 fuck is happening to my brain? So I I think, like, you 299 00:22:07.079 --> 00:22:11.200 know, there's these things can also exist in your brain and you don't have 300 00:22:11.279 --> 00:22:19.480 to identify as a lesbian. Yes, but it's like competisexuals just as badly 301 00:22:19.720 --> 00:22:22.480 as it affects us, like sometimes worse. You're right, because it is 302 00:22:22.519 --> 00:22:27.640 like it's so much harder to tease out what are the what are the parts 303 00:22:27.680 --> 00:22:32.559 of myself that are genuinely attracted to men versus what are the things that have 304 00:22:32.680 --> 00:22:37.319 just sort of been talking again just get shoved? Yeah. Well, and 305 00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:40.559 also one of the boos of my identity. One of the parts here too, 306 00:22:40.680 --> 00:22:45.000 is like they're like it's possible to recognize that a man is attractive and 307 00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:48.319 not be attracted to him to him yeah, And I feel like that's a 308 00:22:48.359 --> 00:22:52.519 big piece of like when you're younger, you're just like that person is attractive, 309 00:22:53.039 --> 00:22:57.160 yeah, Like that person is nice and sweet and cool, and you're 310 00:22:57.200 --> 00:23:00.160 like like, it's it's this, it's the classic, or like I feel 311 00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:07.400 like I experienced this so much because I let I was in compet till I 312 00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:10.359 was like twenty one years old, right, I was trying so hard to 313 00:23:10.440 --> 00:23:14.359 date man, and there were so many things where I was just like, 314 00:23:14.960 --> 00:23:18.039 oh, it's just not the right person, or oh they're so nice, 315 00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:23.039 and like, oh my god, this is actually killing me when you can't 316 00:23:23.079 --> 00:23:27.000 follow through with this attraction in real life scenarios, because I literally there are 317 00:23:27.079 --> 00:23:33.559 so many times I would remember, like I have this vivid image of I 318 00:23:33.640 --> 00:23:36.519 met this guy, and I I probably told the story before I met this 319 00:23:36.519 --> 00:23:37.839 guy in New York, right, and we were like texting and flirting, 320 00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:42.559 and I was twenty one, like rip before I came out. It's probably 321 00:23:42.559 --> 00:23:47.799 like super close to right before I came out. We're flirting and texting, 322 00:23:47.880 --> 00:23:49.440 and like he invited me to his apartment. And he was older, like 323 00:23:49.480 --> 00:23:52.680 he was like twenty four, twenty five or whatever, so like he had 324 00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:56.359 his own apartment in New York City. So he invites me to his apartment 325 00:23:56.400 --> 00:24:00.160 to watch a movie, and like he starts kissing me, and then like 326 00:24:00.599 --> 00:24:04.559 is trying to do more than that? And like immediately I was like nope, 327 00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:11.440 goodbye, Like I left, I really left, and he was left 328 00:24:11.720 --> 00:24:15.000 very very confused. I mean he was not pushing me to do anything, 329 00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:18.599 but I can understand why he was very confused because it was a super gay 330 00:24:18.680 --> 00:24:23.039 reaction. I mean it was not just like, oh I don't really feel 331 00:24:23.079 --> 00:24:27.079 like this. I freaked out. Like I remember just being like having a 332 00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:33.440 visceral reaction to this man trying to do anything besides kiss me. Yeah, 333 00:24:33.640 --> 00:24:36.640 I don't want it. And he was cute and I thought he was sweet. 334 00:24:37.319 --> 00:24:38.640 I feel like the thing is for me, what I remember the most 335 00:24:38.680 --> 00:24:45.240 about like dating guys, like making out with guys, you know, kind 336 00:24:45.240 --> 00:24:47.599 of like that the guy. I mean, I was in high school still, 337 00:24:47.640 --> 00:24:51.759 so it's not like there was like a ton of pressure to like go 338 00:24:52.480 --> 00:24:56.799 super far but even then, it's like what I remember the most about it 339 00:24:56.839 --> 00:24:59.839 is it's like at the time, it's not like I wasn't enjoying it, 340 00:25:00.119 --> 00:25:03.720 you know, like it was nice you had a boyfriend, like someone wanted 341 00:25:03.799 --> 00:25:07.839 you, like you're fifteen years old. That just it feels like it's nice, 342 00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:11.720 you know, like it's nice to feel like someone like sees you and 343 00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:15.480 wants you, and you're like, wow, I'm hot and desirable to somebody 344 00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:18.559 on earth horeay right, But what I feel like the thing that I remember, 345 00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:22.720 like, to me, the most vivid memories that that are like the 346 00:25:22.119 --> 00:25:29.640 stark contrast between the two is it was so cerebral, you know, like 347 00:25:29.960 --> 00:25:34.279 I vividly remember like like being you know, like oh, making out with 348 00:25:34.319 --> 00:25:37.880 my boyfriend, and like how much thought was going on in my head because 349 00:25:37.880 --> 00:25:41.839 I was like not really in it. Oh. I mean like I was 350 00:25:41.880 --> 00:25:45.559 like I was fully up here, Lee existed in this little space in my 351 00:25:45.559 --> 00:25:48.519 brain where I was like, wow, look at me, I'm making out 352 00:25:48.519 --> 00:25:52.960 with somebody, like you go, you did it. This is here's how 353 00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:56.200 we make out. What do I do now? Okay? Like maybe this 354 00:25:56.359 --> 00:25:59.160 is cool, Like I'll get to tell so like my friends about this on 355 00:25:59.279 --> 00:26:00.400 Monday that it's like, oh, yeah, we made it out here, 356 00:26:00.599 --> 00:26:03.440 like what you know. I'm like I was, there were so many thoughts 357 00:26:03.720 --> 00:26:11.240 happening in my brain, and like my most vivid recollection of like the first 358 00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:15.759 like date I went on with a girl is like we I it was with 359 00:26:15.799 --> 00:26:17.920 my exit jest. We went to the movies. We went to see a 360 00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:22.440 movie and we she like slid her hand over and we like held hands. 361 00:26:22.599 --> 00:26:26.079 I could not tell you a single thing happened. I could tell you nothing 362 00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:33.440 else that like my brain short circuited and it was there was just like just 363 00:26:33.640 --> 00:26:38.559 explosions and fireworks and like just all rational thoughts ceased to exist. I can't 364 00:26:38.599 --> 00:26:41.759 tell you anything else that happened that night because I think I was just like 365 00:26:41.920 --> 00:26:48.039 in a fog of like what is happening to me in my body? What 366 00:26:48.279 --> 00:26:53.440 is going on? I don't understand, right, I'm like there were zero 367 00:26:53.599 --> 00:26:57.000 thoughts, zero thoughts were happening, and like that's the difference to me, 368 00:26:57.160 --> 00:26:59.799 is I'm like, yeah, sure, I was like make it out with 369 00:26:59.799 --> 00:27:04.440 there, like whatever. Yep, Holy god, Holy God. The difference 370 00:27:04.519 --> 00:27:10.400 between that to being like just the slow implosion of like Lee's brain reduced to 371 00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:15.519 a lizard brain of of gainness. I mean that's all it was. I 372 00:27:15.599 --> 00:27:18.400 always just like a small gay lizard hatching and emerging into the world, right, 373 00:27:18.799 --> 00:27:22.440 yes, ten thousand percent. I mean I've said this many times before. 374 00:27:22.519 --> 00:27:23.880 It's like, I don't know if it's not not that. Maybe I 375 00:27:23.880 --> 00:27:26.440 I'm like, I actually don't remember. I probably didn't have anything going on 376 00:27:26.440 --> 00:27:30.519 in my brain. You're correct. All I can remember is that like when 377 00:27:30.519 --> 00:27:33.759 I would kiss kiss men, I literally would say to my sister, I 378 00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:37.960 do not feel a thing like and she was like, you know, maybe 379 00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:44.039 you're feeling what everyone else is feeling. No listeners, I was not feeling 380 00:27:44.079 --> 00:27:48.640 what everyone else is feeling for sure. Also. Okay, so there's another 381 00:27:48.680 --> 00:27:51.480 part of this that says, like your attraction to men, right, let 382 00:27:51.559 --> 00:27:53.720 me just read a few of these because I'm obsessed with this. I can 383 00:27:53.799 --> 00:27:59.400 fantasize about men and find men attractive, but thinking about realistically being with a 384 00:27:59.440 --> 00:28:07.920 man makes my stomach chur It's literally so bad. Oh. This is sort 385 00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:11.079 of what we're talking about with the cerebral part, deciding which guys to be 386 00:28:11.079 --> 00:28:15.079 attracted to, not to date, but to be attracted to based on how 387 00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:19.000 well, they match a mental list of attractive qualities, right, So you 388 00:28:19.079 --> 00:28:22.519 just have a list like, oh, well, I don't like guys because 389 00:28:22.519 --> 00:28:26.480 I haven't met this kind of guy, and like if it was this particular 390 00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:30.839 person and this particular set of traits, then yes, I would be attracted 391 00:28:30.839 --> 00:28:33.400 to them. You know, you know the other one in this list that's 392 00:28:33.400 --> 00:28:37.000 fucking killing me right now, only because it's so again, it's like the 393 00:28:37.039 --> 00:28:40.880 ways that you can look back and be like, ah, fuck, so 394 00:28:41.640 --> 00:28:45.279 this one only developing attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to 395 00:28:45.359 --> 00:28:48.400 him. And the thing is is like especially when you're when you're me, 396 00:28:48.599 --> 00:28:51.759 and the way that that always sort of presented is you'd be like, oh 397 00:28:51.839 --> 00:28:53.799 yeah, I could have a crush on him too, and therefore that means 398 00:28:53.960 --> 00:29:00.599 I should want to be more like him for no other reason, For no 399 00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:04.440 other reason, I should try to embody those same qualities that my friend finds 400 00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:10.880 attractive in myself because of my also attraction to him and therefore desire for us 401 00:29:10.880 --> 00:29:14.119 to be more similar so that it would work out between us. Yep, 402 00:29:15.119 --> 00:29:18.279 it made perfect time, made so much sense, so much sense at the 403 00:29:18.440 --> 00:29:22.279 time, so much sense, just perfect, totally logical, a logical way 404 00:29:22.359 --> 00:29:25.200 to be not how do I make myself attractive to that man? How do 405 00:29:25.279 --> 00:29:30.680 I become that man? That sounds right. I like this one too about 406 00:29:30.839 --> 00:29:34.319 choosing. This is cracking me up. It says picking a guy at random 407 00:29:34.359 --> 00:29:38.519 to be attracted to that it is choosing to be attracted to a guy at 408 00:29:38.519 --> 00:29:42.640 all, not just choosing to act on it, but flipping your attraction on 409 00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:45.880 like a switch. That's a common lesbian thing because it is true, like 410 00:29:45.960 --> 00:29:48.759 you, how are you gonna just like, oh, yes, I pick 411 00:29:49.400 --> 00:29:52.680 oh, I pick you. Oh, if I have to, you must 412 00:29:52.759 --> 00:29:57.279 be the right person because I have chosen you to be attracted to. Yeah. 413 00:29:57.319 --> 00:30:00.799 Well, And also that flipping attraction on and off, like I mean, 414 00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:03.960 God, bless my, like the last guy I dated in high school, 415 00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:07.400 because it's like I was probably such a bitch to this kid, Like 416 00:30:07.759 --> 00:30:12.319 we were good for a lot of interests. I think we always have like 417 00:30:12.319 --> 00:30:15.519 so much fun hanging out. That's the problem. But I think the thing 418 00:30:15.559 --> 00:30:18.079 is is like again, the the hooking up, the making out. I 419 00:30:18.119 --> 00:30:21.559 was one hundred percent just like I'm up here, and so when I was 420 00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:22.880 like I'm done, I would just be like Okay, bye, and I'm 421 00:30:22.920 --> 00:30:29.640 like, this poor guy, this poor guy was left hanging. So probably 422 00:30:29.759 --> 00:30:33.319 just so badly in ways that like affected me zero percent because I was just 423 00:30:33.359 --> 00:30:37.640 like, and we're done now night. Yeah. Well. Also I feel 424 00:30:37.640 --> 00:30:40.440 like too for me, it was like so easy to break up with them, 425 00:30:40.759 --> 00:30:44.200 and I feel like I was like almost vicious with it, like they 426 00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:48.839 would be like same thing as you. Like, it was like yesterday they 427 00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:53.279 thought we were fine, and today I was like, I'm done. You're 428 00:30:53.279 --> 00:30:56.759 the worst man. It was so bad, it was so bad. This 429 00:30:56.799 --> 00:31:00.519 is one thing I want to say about the Lesbian Master Doc. That is 430 00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:03.680 where I'm like, all right, you're just listing a bunch of random ship 431 00:31:03.160 --> 00:31:07.000 only are mostly being into guys who are gender not conforming, are feminine in 432 00:31:07.000 --> 00:31:11.640 some way. Also, the guys I like are only masculine and embody everything 433 00:31:11.640 --> 00:31:17.720 about masculine manliness. So I'm like, okay, so any any version of 434 00:31:17.759 --> 00:31:22.039 a man right right now, all men, Well it's okay. Also, 435 00:31:22.200 --> 00:31:26.319 other problematic things on this list that I think are so funny, which again 436 00:31:26.319 --> 00:31:27.319 I mean this just makes me laugh in general. But one of them is 437 00:31:27.359 --> 00:31:30.920 you view relationships with men as a chore, burden or just something you must 438 00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:37.799 deal with and to be honest like that is true of many straight straight women. 439 00:31:37.839 --> 00:31:40.920 I know, Like I'm actually a distressing number of straight women I know. 440 00:31:41.200 --> 00:31:42.880 I think Okay, I think that, like, okay, as much 441 00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:48.799 as you want to talk about compet I think the idea in society that straight 442 00:31:48.839 --> 00:31:56.960 women hate men, yes, is also horrible. It's horrible, less reality 443 00:31:57.039 --> 00:32:04.160 based in so much reality that it's like a little concerned. It's concerning, 444 00:32:04.240 --> 00:32:07.119 but I think, but that's why I feel like we need to change the 445 00:32:07.160 --> 00:32:10.920 way like we view straight relationships as well of like, because I do feel 446 00:32:10.920 --> 00:32:15.519 like it can be very confusing. When I was a straight girl, it 447 00:32:15.599 --> 00:32:19.039 was difficult to come out of the closet because you were like, oh, 448 00:32:19.079 --> 00:32:22.960 but all my straight friends talk about men in the same way. Yeah, 449 00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:24.920 right, So it's very confusing where you're like, okay, so yes, 450 00:32:25.279 --> 00:32:30.839 they also hate spending time with men, and I hate spending time with men. 451 00:32:30.359 --> 00:32:36.920 We must all be straight. It's so confusing people, How about we 452 00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:40.680 This is my PSA, Like, start liking your boyfriends, be kind to 453 00:32:40.720 --> 00:32:45.599 them. This is for you straight men. That is my PSA. Two 454 00:32:45.640 --> 00:32:47.880 straight women, like, start talking about your male partners better, and then 455 00:32:47.880 --> 00:32:52.680 I'll believe you're straight okay, which I feel like is also a PSA for 456 00:32:52.799 --> 00:32:57.400 straight guys to be like stop stop sucking mistreating your Yeah, exactly, there's 457 00:32:57.720 --> 00:33:00.440 it's a double edge story. But let's move on to the next section, 458 00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:05.039 which is called relationships with men. Oh wait no, but before that, 459 00:33:05.079 --> 00:33:07.640 I want to read one more that I thought was funny having a lot of 460 00:33:07.640 --> 00:33:14.880 your guy crushes later turn out to be trans women. Incredible, incredible, 461 00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:20.039 were just so good? Why are they so good? Yeah? I just 462 00:33:20.079 --> 00:33:22.680 saw what did I just say? I saw TikTok this week where it was 463 00:33:22.799 --> 00:33:27.279 like it was a couple and they got together and it was like, so 464 00:33:27.279 --> 00:33:30.599 they have a picture and it's like a guy NA and his girlfriend or whatever, 465 00:33:30.680 --> 00:33:32.519 and then it was like they were doing the whole like suppress surprise, 466 00:33:34.039 --> 00:33:37.400 right, and he's like, so, so she came out as a trans 467 00:33:37.400 --> 00:33:40.720 woman, so she's like surprise, surprise. And then the girlfriend is like 468 00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:45.440 realizing I'm more attracted to her that way, and I was like, amazing, 469 00:33:45.599 --> 00:33:50.359 happy for you both. Love this incredible. But yes, let's dive 470 00:33:50.359 --> 00:33:53.920 into the next session section, which is relationships with men. Right, so, 471 00:33:53.960 --> 00:33:58.680 when you're in a relationship with a man, it's so much dread. 472 00:33:59.480 --> 00:34:02.279 Dreading. It feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man. You have 473 00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:05.480 every reason to be happy in a relationship with a man, but you just 474 00:34:05.599 --> 00:34:08.360 aren't. Everything's going really well, but something's missing and you cannot figure out 475 00:34:08.360 --> 00:34:13.400 what that is. Like, so legit if you're trying so hard and it's 476 00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:15.719 not working out, like you're gay, I mean. But again, here's 477 00:34:15.719 --> 00:34:19.880 the thing. This is why I like in terms of the am I lesbian 478 00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:23.199 master doc in terms of like how this can be now confusing or problematic for 479 00:34:23.280 --> 00:34:29.960 people, is like, maybe you're in the wrong relationship covered nowhere in here, 480 00:34:30.360 --> 00:34:35.800 right, Well, yeah, perhaps you are not this man? Yeah 481 00:34:36.119 --> 00:34:38.840 right. Also, I feel like this is a master doc that like the 482 00:34:39.119 --> 00:34:45.559 concept of Ace and Arrow people non existent, non existent, there was I 483 00:34:45.599 --> 00:34:49.800 wish I could search this doc because there's something about asexuality in here. But 484 00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:54.840 yes, agreed, it's like very much talking about if you do feel attraction. 485 00:34:55.599 --> 00:34:58.800 But I do feel like that, Okay. The thing for me about 486 00:34:58.800 --> 00:35:02.320 the compat of it all right, is like I feel like you would realize 487 00:35:02.360 --> 00:35:07.280 if you were Ace or Arrow if you test it out your competent. Yeah, 488 00:35:07.320 --> 00:35:10.519 yeah, but do you know what I'm saying. Like it's like I 489 00:35:10.559 --> 00:35:15.559 feel like the big thing test out feels like a weird thing to say, 490 00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:22.280 but I feel as though if you're not challenging compat in yourself and you know 491 00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:25.679 all these things about you that you're not really interested in men and you just 492 00:35:25.800 --> 00:35:30.960 keep pushing to keep dating men and don't even like try to see if women 493 00:35:31.079 --> 00:35:37.400 might be interesting to you. Like, then I'm like, you you're not 494 00:35:37.480 --> 00:35:42.400 straight? Yeah, you know what I mean. It's like when you're saying 495 00:35:42.440 --> 00:35:45.760 all these things, like when you literally say like I just wish I was 496 00:35:45.800 --> 00:35:49.880 a lesbian. I just couldn't do it, and it's like, okay, 497 00:35:49.880 --> 00:35:52.920 but like have you ever gone on a date with a girl? But you 498 00:35:52.960 --> 00:35:55.760 know it's so funny. I mean, okay, So like here's the thing. 499 00:35:55.920 --> 00:36:01.159 I literally just saw another video of a and like again it was like 500 00:36:01.239 --> 00:36:06.320 this week where and the whole thing is like I props to her. She 501 00:36:06.400 --> 00:36:10.480 was responding to like a super like gross hateful comment whatever about like why gays 502 00:36:10.480 --> 00:36:14.239 shouldn't be considered a protected class and they're like, because you choose to be 503 00:36:14.320 --> 00:36:16.239 gay, but they were like directing it at her, and she's like, 504 00:36:16.280 --> 00:36:20.400 first of all, I'm not gay. If I could choose to be gay, 505 00:36:20.519 --> 00:36:23.519 like I absolutely would and you know, and she like went off on 506 00:36:23.559 --> 00:36:25.599 this whole like, oh, I'm just a really nice response. But it 507 00:36:25.639 --> 00:36:29.119 was just a very funny way to start that response to be like, if 508 00:36:29.159 --> 00:36:32.480 I could choose, I would absolutely choose women, like are you kidding me? 509 00:36:32.599 --> 00:36:37.199 Like, sadly, I'm only attracted to men. And again in that 510 00:36:37.239 --> 00:36:43.840 way where you're just like are you but sweet sweetie, but sweetie, have 511 00:36:44.079 --> 00:36:50.079 you tried it though? Like have you really given it explored that part of 512 00:36:50.119 --> 00:36:52.679 yourself? Yeah, because it is like because it is a very pet is 513 00:36:52.719 --> 00:36:57.679 fucking hard. It's strong, dude, It's so strong. It's so strong. 514 00:36:57.920 --> 00:37:00.800 I'm like sometimes you see videos like that, I'm just like, I 515 00:37:00.920 --> 00:37:05.159 like, I I want to check back in in two years, you know, 516 00:37:05.440 --> 00:37:07.400 like I want to update when you get your first girlfriend. Like I 517 00:37:07.679 --> 00:37:12.519 mean, but like we've all done that, Like we've all had those friends 518 00:37:12.519 --> 00:37:15.679 sometimes where you have that conversation with them and you're just like, oh, 519 00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:21.519 so head pat sweety, like honey, this is not what it should sound 520 00:37:21.599 --> 00:37:24.000 like like that, that's not what it should and if it is, like 521 00:37:24.039 --> 00:37:29.719 that's a depressing straight life to live. Yes, like something I want. 522 00:37:30.559 --> 00:37:32.199 I want you to be attracted to men, like if you are straight, 523 00:37:32.920 --> 00:37:37.119 I really want you to be attracted to men like I legitimately do. I 524 00:37:37.199 --> 00:37:39.159 want you to have a fun, exciting life with your partner you love and 525 00:37:39.159 --> 00:37:44.880 you're attracted to you. It's funny, easy. I mean again, listen, 526 00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:46.960 we're we're recording this on the week of our v for Vendetta, like 527 00:37:47.039 --> 00:37:52.800 Facebook tobacle that you've probably heard us talk about already. So I I just 528 00:37:52.880 --> 00:37:57.760 have one of those comments that someone left like seared in my brain or something, 529 00:37:57.800 --> 00:38:00.480 because there was like someone who left to comment and they were saying something 530 00:38:00.559 --> 00:38:05.800 about like oh, like yeah, because you just you just need to project 531 00:38:05.920 --> 00:38:09.599 this on everyone to like make yourself feel more normal. So like you need 532 00:38:09.639 --> 00:38:15.559 to like tell yourself everyone is gay so that like you can feel happy about 533 00:38:15.599 --> 00:38:19.639 yourself. And I was just like, dude, like I being gay is 534 00:38:19.719 --> 00:38:23.719 the fucking best, Like I don't understand why you think I would need to 535 00:38:23.760 --> 00:38:28.400 wish this on other people to make me feel better. I feel fucking great. 536 00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:31.480 This is fantastic. Being gay is amazing, Like why would I want 537 00:38:31.519 --> 00:38:36.440 to be straight? That sounds awful to me? Personally couldn't. I don't 538 00:38:36.480 --> 00:38:40.679 know, man, Like, what's distressing to me is like how unhappy many 539 00:38:42.119 --> 00:38:45.519 straight people seem to feel about their state of affairs. Like I'm actually I'm 540 00:38:45.559 --> 00:38:50.239 good. I'm good. My god, I don't I don't need anything. 541 00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:52.039 I'm great. Like what do you what are you talking about? I need 542 00:38:52.079 --> 00:38:54.840 to project this on other people. I'm like, maybe if other people stop 543 00:38:54.920 --> 00:38:58.039 being like, god, I wish I didn't have to be straight. I'm 544 00:38:58.079 --> 00:39:01.039 like, well, then we have to have this conversation. I mean, 545 00:39:01.599 --> 00:39:07.360 I don't wish I wasn't gay. Actually, ever, I'm like, I 546 00:39:07.360 --> 00:39:08.599 I don't know what to tell you. This is not a problem in my 547 00:39:08.639 --> 00:39:15.679 life. I don't sit here like you know, sitting I wish that I 548 00:39:15.760 --> 00:39:19.480 was less alone. It's like, actually everyone in my life's case so like, 549 00:39:19.480 --> 00:39:22.159 I don't actually need more gay friends. I'm good. I'm like, 550 00:39:22.199 --> 00:39:27.159 actually this is this is like the extreme best thing. What do you what 551 00:39:27.199 --> 00:39:30.840 are you talking about? We're just trying to welcome you all into our space, 552 00:39:30.039 --> 00:39:32.920 like we want you to be happy. That's all we're saying. Okay, 553 00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:36.199 let's take a quick break. We're gonna come back and dive into some 554 00:39:36.199 --> 00:39:44.920 more of this master Doc. Because we're having a great time. So I 555 00:39:44.920 --> 00:39:50.920 would like to dive into the early interest in women section. Yes please, 556 00:39:51.159 --> 00:39:55.000 because oh my god, this is just the like if you're gay, you're 557 00:39:55.039 --> 00:40:00.559 gay, Like this is like I want to to kiss your female best friend 558 00:40:00.599 --> 00:40:06.519 on the mouse for literally any reason to practice for boys included any of you 559 00:40:06.599 --> 00:40:08.639 who ever practiced for boys, Like, I'm sorry, I was not even 560 00:40:08.679 --> 00:40:17.840 that gay, Like that's something else. Is it disappointing if I'm like none 561 00:40:17.880 --> 00:40:21.280 of my friends ever wanted to practice for the boys. Well, that's what 562 00:40:21.320 --> 00:40:24.119 I'm saying to you. I'm like, it's actually tough. Thing exactly started 563 00:40:24.159 --> 00:40:28.920 depressing. But you know what's funny. Then maybe this will be contradictory to 564 00:40:29.039 --> 00:40:31.159 the master doc. I was so gay that I was scared to kiss a 565 00:40:31.199 --> 00:40:37.239 girl. Oh yeah, So it's also like a struggle of like if you 566 00:40:37.440 --> 00:40:39.920 internally, like I had this thing where I was like, I know, 567 00:40:40.079 --> 00:40:43.719 if I kiss a girl, I'm gonna like it, even if it was 568 00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:49.920 like push deep down and I couldn't quite articulate it, like I think practicing 569 00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:53.000 for the boys would have wrecked me. Oh yes, it would have been 570 00:40:53.159 --> 00:40:59.199 done. Yeah, I couldn't like this. I still remember like and I 571 00:40:59.639 --> 00:41:02.280 I mean you probably had a similar experience Ellie, like being in theater. 572 00:41:02.639 --> 00:41:07.960 Like people are physical, people are cuddling, people are handsy, people are 573 00:41:08.079 --> 00:41:15.480 like in ways that sometimes you're like, okay, this is fine. Act 574 00:41:15.519 --> 00:41:20.159 normal, act normal, act normal. Yes, it's a lot speaking of 575 00:41:20.280 --> 00:41:22.760 that, getting butterflies or feeling like you can't get close enough when cuddling with 576 00:41:22.880 --> 00:41:30.079 a close female friendly let's not talk about it that. I also think we're 577 00:41:30.119 --> 00:41:32.119 now getting in to the uncomfortable. Listen, the talking about how unattracted to 578 00:41:32.199 --> 00:41:37.239 men we were is like way easier than the like no, no, fuck 579 00:41:37.440 --> 00:41:39.679 stop it. I know it's it's so embarrassing, but you know what, 580 00:41:39.800 --> 00:41:43.480 it's fine. Well, is also the theater of it, all right, 581 00:41:43.599 --> 00:41:47.880 I literally because theater people are so physical with each other. Yes, it's 582 00:41:49.000 --> 00:41:53.679 like I could be like, oh my god, like I just love sitting 583 00:41:54.000 --> 00:42:00.400 in the same seat as my best friend, Like I don't to be you 584 00:42:00.440 --> 00:42:01.679 know, she does not need to be sitting on my lap right now. 585 00:42:02.039 --> 00:42:05.800 I just want to borrow their sweatshirt. Yeah, I just want to make 586 00:42:05.840 --> 00:42:08.320 sure, Oh she's not feeling cozy, Oh she's not feeling let me make 587 00:42:08.360 --> 00:42:13.400 sure I stroke her hair and I'll get her water and like, don't worry, 588 00:42:13.679 --> 00:42:17.599 like I'm gonna take care of you. Oh god, listen, this 589 00:42:17.760 --> 00:42:22.000 is also so funny. I mean, this is very this is the most 590 00:42:22.079 --> 00:42:27.159 gay right having had an unusually close relationship with a female friend growing up that 591 00:42:27.360 --> 00:42:31.039 was different and special in a way you just couldn't articulate. Sorry, I 592 00:42:31.079 --> 00:42:36.199 gotta, I actually gotta. I have never bet this is really funny, 593 00:42:36.320 --> 00:42:39.079 funny story. I actually gotta get somemmers. All right, well, scheduled, 594 00:42:39.239 --> 00:42:42.840 rescheduled this, you know, do you want me to really get you? 595 00:42:42.960 --> 00:42:45.639 This is gonna be a good when a female friend is treated badly by 596 00:42:45.679 --> 00:42:50.320 a man, having your protective thoughts turned in the direction of if I was 597 00:42:50.480 --> 00:42:54.079 him, I'd never do that to her, by you doing me like this? 598 00:42:54.719 --> 00:42:58.519 What is this? I mean, Lee, you know you're gay, 599 00:42:58.639 --> 00:43:01.920 so these artists I gotta be like this. Yeah, but it's like, 600 00:43:02.039 --> 00:43:05.719 but you know what's funny is like this is still the stuff that to me 601 00:43:05.960 --> 00:43:09.840 is like it's so embarrassing to look back at like how blind I was. 602 00:43:10.800 --> 00:43:15.840 It's so because you just look back and you're like you dumb fucking gay idiot, 603 00:43:15.039 --> 00:43:20.719 Like you you little gay moron. What were you doing? Yeah? 604 00:43:20.760 --> 00:43:23.320 You doing, oh, just trying to be just trying to be that stand 605 00:43:23.400 --> 00:43:30.519 in emotional boyfriend. Just you were doing your bestle just yeah, just trying 606 00:43:30.599 --> 00:43:36.039 to be a better boyfriend to all your friends than their boyfriends were. Okay, 607 00:43:36.159 --> 00:43:39.800 yes, yes, I so desperately wanted to be and realistically I would 608 00:43:39.960 --> 00:43:44.519 you were. Yeah, it's okay, you would have been. We can 609 00:43:44.639 --> 00:43:49.239 validate you on that. All right. Okay, you know what, where's 610 00:43:49.239 --> 00:43:52.239 one of these that I can let's get Let's throw Ellie under the bus here, 611 00:43:52.320 --> 00:43:54.599 what can we do? Oh? The funniest one for me? Okay, 612 00:43:54.679 --> 00:43:58.559 so this is in the straight version of you, right and also okay, 613 00:43:58.559 --> 00:44:00.199 so here, let me read you one other one that's like very relatable 614 00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:04.400 to our show, having your favorite character in every show, be that one 615 00:44:04.480 --> 00:44:07.440 gay coated or butch like looking women like she go from Kimbossible. Yes, 616 00:44:07.679 --> 00:44:12.440 that's just lessing out listeners. That one's for you. I just really, 617 00:44:12.639 --> 00:44:17.800 really, deeply, deeply cared about the characters of Gabrielle Inzena and Will exactly 618 00:44:17.920 --> 00:44:21.840 for no particular for no reasons, certainly nothing to do with them being my 619 00:44:21.920 --> 00:44:23.679 type or being in any way attrected to them. Don't know what you're talking 620 00:44:23.679 --> 00:44:29.480 about. Okay, off my back, Ellie. This straight version is really 621 00:44:29.519 --> 00:44:36.960 this one's so funny. Being really into how women look esthetically just an artistic 622 00:44:37.679 --> 00:44:43.679 just an artistic interest because it's so true. Like I will constantly be like 623 00:44:44.079 --> 00:44:46.320 it's just an objective fact that women are hotter than men, Like there's nothing 624 00:44:46.360 --> 00:44:49.440 you can do about it, you know what I mean. It's like I'm 625 00:44:49.480 --> 00:44:52.400 straight, but like we all agree, right, like everyone thinks that. 626 00:44:52.159 --> 00:44:55.320 Right. But okay, but here's the other. Here's the other thing that 627 00:44:55.440 --> 00:44:59.440 kills me is like the top thing on this list is thinking that all straight 628 00:44:59.480 --> 00:45:05.880 girls feel least some attraction to women. And like again in terms of just 629 00:45:06.000 --> 00:45:09.360 like straight people you gotta get your shit together. Is like the number of 630 00:45:09.559 --> 00:45:13.599 women that I know who are like, I'm totally straight, but like if 631 00:45:13.679 --> 00:45:16.800 I could choose like I would, I would totally be attracted to him because 632 00:45:16.800 --> 00:45:20.199 like, women are just beautiful. I just wish I was attracted to them 633 00:45:20.239 --> 00:45:23.000 that way. And you're like, uh, so are you? Or yeah, 634 00:45:23.079 --> 00:45:31.559 exactly excuse me, but but hold on here, I don't know if 635 00:45:31.599 --> 00:45:37.039 this like that's a thing, Like these things are even my straight friends would 636 00:45:37.119 --> 00:45:42.199 agree with me, right because women are more attractive than them. But you 637 00:45:42.280 --> 00:45:45.280 know what else, Okay, sorry not to like not to totally go here, 638 00:45:45.719 --> 00:45:47.559 but we're gonna totally go here. Great. You know what else is 639 00:45:47.599 --> 00:45:52.599 funny is like, do you feel like there's there's one thing that I feel 640 00:45:52.639 --> 00:45:54.199 like I don't see anywhere in here? And I wonder if it's because they 641 00:45:54.239 --> 00:45:57.719 wanted to keep this to like a certain rating level. I don't know, 642 00:45:58.360 --> 00:46:01.760 but I feel like something, Okay, Listen. I went to Mount Holyoke 643 00:46:01.880 --> 00:46:07.480 College women's college, a whole lot of gay college, a lot of coming 644 00:46:07.519 --> 00:46:13.079 out, a lot of exploring college, okay, and I feel like one 645 00:46:13.119 --> 00:46:16.000 of the things that I would hear all the time. Cannot tell you how 646 00:46:16.119 --> 00:46:22.960 many straight quote straight girls at the time until till they got over that that 647 00:46:23.079 --> 00:46:28.639 I heard say some variation of exactly what we were just saying, right of 648 00:46:28.840 --> 00:46:30.920 like, oh my god, I totally like I wish I was gay because 649 00:46:30.920 --> 00:46:36.159 like, women are so beautiful. I just don't think I could do vaginas 650 00:46:37.760 --> 00:46:40.880 right. And the amount that also there's like I don't cophit is like not 651 00:46:42.039 --> 00:46:45.440 quite the right word for it. It's like some flavor of like misogynist, 652 00:46:45.519 --> 00:46:50.920 misogynst whatever it is misogyny because it is, well, vaginas are so gross 653 00:46:51.440 --> 00:46:53.760 whatever, and it's like they're so yucky. I don't know, man, 654 00:46:54.000 --> 00:46:59.320 it's so moist down there. And like the number of like people that I 655 00:46:59.519 --> 00:47:04.440 heard eat that until they dated their first girl and then never said it again 656 00:47:05.400 --> 00:47:08.639 again. So I just I feel like there's also something in it that it's 657 00:47:08.679 --> 00:47:13.239 like sometimes when you hear women who are like I totally, oh my god, 658 00:47:13.239 --> 00:47:15.960 I would totally. I wish I was attracted, Like I wish I 659 00:47:15.079 --> 00:47:19.199 was a lesbian. I wish I could be with women, but like I 660 00:47:19.280 --> 00:47:22.519 don't know, I just I just couldn't do it, you know, like 661 00:47:22.599 --> 00:47:27.480 it's just not for me. But it definitely is something misogynistic, it is 662 00:47:27.599 --> 00:47:32.440 something competitive of it all is that oh is that? Oh well, sex 663 00:47:32.559 --> 00:47:37.400 between a sex between a man and a woman is like normal and natural, 664 00:47:37.760 --> 00:47:43.760 and sex between two women like has to be like not yeah right, It's 665 00:47:43.760 --> 00:47:45.559 like the same way that it's just like manner the default right in general, 666 00:47:45.760 --> 00:47:51.239 like men are the defaults. If if a man is bisexual, he's gay. 667 00:47:51.280 --> 00:47:52.920 If a woman's bisexual, she's straight. It's like that kind of thing 668 00:47:52.960 --> 00:47:58.360 of like, yeah, which to be ver just to clarify, I don't 669 00:47:58.360 --> 00:48:01.280 believe that, but you know how like that's how no, no, but 670 00:48:01.360 --> 00:48:06.719 I get like, but the the sort of dominant narrative that takes over a 671 00:48:06.800 --> 00:48:09.719 lot. Yeah. Also, can we talk about can we talk about having 672 00:48:09.880 --> 00:48:14.039 this ballpoint that says having like half your friend group from school turned out to 673 00:48:14.079 --> 00:48:17.440 be LGBT plus And it's so true. It's so true. Like listen, 674 00:48:17.599 --> 00:48:22.440 if you went to high school and your ten uyears out and like you know, 675 00:48:23.000 --> 00:48:25.880 half to more of your friend group came out as gay, bitchy gay, 676 00:48:27.119 --> 00:48:30.440 I'm sorry you joined the parade. Yes, we'll Also, I mean 677 00:48:30.440 --> 00:48:34.719 I've talked about this on a Patreon episode on The Kids Are All Right. 678 00:48:35.360 --> 00:48:37.039 That was like the worst for me where I was like all my friends are 679 00:48:37.159 --> 00:48:43.760 gay and I'm so confused. I'm like, why am I so straight? 680 00:48:44.280 --> 00:48:47.079 Yeah? Why are they all coming out to be and forcing me to look 681 00:48:47.079 --> 00:48:52.960 at my own sexuality? Like please stop so insane? Yeah, this is 682 00:48:53.039 --> 00:48:59.480 also I'm now I'm just ringing so much shit. I feel like we keep 683 00:48:59.519 --> 00:49:02.440 going back forth. Ellie, I can't tell for like this document is problematic 684 00:49:02.480 --> 00:49:07.639 because it's gonna make you think every single person is gay. Like this document 685 00:49:07.679 --> 00:49:13.840 is a document and advisle I feel like we flip flopped sentence to sentence and 686 00:49:14.239 --> 00:49:16.519 honestly there's no wrong answer here. Well because here's this is what the doc 687 00:49:16.800 --> 00:49:21.159 is. This is I do feel like, Okay, as ridiculous as this, 688 00:49:21.320 --> 00:49:23.079 Like, I think if you're like a nuanced human being and if you 689 00:49:23.159 --> 00:49:29.000 can understand nuance, right you, if you are questioning your sexuality, could 690 00:49:29.079 --> 00:49:34.400 read this and it might unlock some shit for you and be like I'm not 691 00:49:34.559 --> 00:49:37.599 alone. Yeah, I do think. I think it's the fact that it 692 00:49:37.840 --> 00:49:43.920 uses the word lesbian. Yes, is I think the big problem with it 693 00:49:44.039 --> 00:49:46.679 because a lot of bisexual and queer women have felt these things as well. 694 00:49:47.599 --> 00:49:53.559 So I think the problematic part about it is that it's like you must be 695 00:49:54.840 --> 00:50:00.840 a lesbian and it's like really just saying, okay, do you have are 696 00:50:00.880 --> 00:50:07.960 you attracted to women in however whatever however that happens? Yeah, right, 697 00:50:07.039 --> 00:50:10.960 but there's there's it's just it's just hard. It's so hard out here when 698 00:50:12.000 --> 00:50:15.719 straight women are really doing all this talking all this shit about like you said, 699 00:50:16.679 --> 00:50:20.880 you are really doing the most to like fit the lesbian master. They 700 00:50:20.960 --> 00:50:24.519 really fit the lesbian master talk. Yeah, it's like a whole lot and 701 00:50:24.639 --> 00:50:28.119 well and also because it's it's tricky because some of them. Okay, so 702 00:50:28.400 --> 00:50:30.519 let me read this one and I will say this is like I feel like 703 00:50:30.559 --> 00:50:36.360 this is not super accurate. You get anxiety around men and feel more comfortable 704 00:50:36.400 --> 00:50:42.519 in settings with women. That line is just women. Yeah, Like it's 705 00:50:42.559 --> 00:50:45.800 like, okay, so true, of course you do, right, But 706 00:50:45.920 --> 00:50:50.599 there was another line earlier that was like you mistake your anxiety around men for 707 00:50:50.679 --> 00:50:53.239 butterflies or whatever. It's like, I can get why that would be complicated 708 00:50:53.280 --> 00:51:00.039 and confusing, because like we've been taught like men, you must be careful. 709 00:51:00.719 --> 00:51:04.239 But then another thing is I feel like if you're gay, you're not 710 00:51:04.320 --> 00:51:07.880 that comfortable around women plenty of or okay, you're not comfortable around from around 711 00:51:07.960 --> 00:51:13.159 women you're attracted to. Yes, there's that, but also I feel like 712 00:51:13.480 --> 00:51:20.119 it's there is something about the shield that claiming straightness still provides you. Because 713 00:51:20.159 --> 00:51:22.199 the thing is is like another one on here that's right under that is like 714 00:51:22.320 --> 00:51:25.239 being mistaken for a couple with one of your girlfriends is exciting for you. 715 00:51:25.400 --> 00:51:29.679 Being mistaken for a couple with one of your guy friends, No, reaction 716 00:51:29.800 --> 00:51:31.440 or feels weird or wrong. And the thing is is, like I did 717 00:51:31.480 --> 00:51:34.880 you used to do this with your friends, Like we used to think my 718 00:51:34.960 --> 00:51:37.599 friend group that turned out to be like all gay gay, Like we used 719 00:51:37.599 --> 00:51:42.519 to think it was the funniest thing to like go out and be like, 720 00:51:42.559 --> 00:51:45.000 oh my god, let's like hold hands and put our arms around each other 721 00:51:45.079 --> 00:51:46.639 and like I'll buy your movie ticket and we'll like make them think we're on 722 00:51:46.679 --> 00:51:50.840 a date and like ha ha ha ha. Because you weren't right, because 723 00:51:50.880 --> 00:51:53.719 it was like because you all knew you weren't, yeah, right, but 724 00:51:54.039 --> 00:51:57.159 you'd be like, oh my god, like this, let's do this and 725 00:51:57.199 --> 00:51:59.440 then we'll sit like this and then it's going to totally look like we're together. 726 00:51:59.440 --> 00:52:00.960 Oh my god, do you think we can make the waiter think that 727 00:52:00.960 --> 00:52:04.599 we're together? Like that was like that's way gayer than what I ever did, 728 00:52:05.559 --> 00:52:07.719 Oh my god, Like, but we used to think it's the funniest 729 00:52:07.760 --> 00:52:09.000 thing, right, Because a because you were like, oh, look at 730 00:52:09.039 --> 00:52:12.960 us, like who cares if people think we're gay? Like we're so accepting 731 00:52:13.119 --> 00:52:16.599 and like progressing, you know, And also because part of you was, 732 00:52:16.719 --> 00:52:21.880 yeah, like you were getting that vicarious thrill of being like, ah, 733 00:52:22.360 --> 00:52:25.400 I might see some woman someone has perceived me in that way, right, 734 00:52:25.480 --> 00:52:30.280 But at the same time, if they're like, if there wasn't that protection 735 00:52:30.480 --> 00:52:31.840 of being like and of course we both know we're straight, and we're just 736 00:52:31.920 --> 00:52:36.079 laughing about it. Hahaha. It's just a big joke, like that would 737 00:52:36.119 --> 00:52:38.920 have been like you would have been sweating, right, Like that would have 738 00:52:39.639 --> 00:52:43.320 that would have been a whole thing, whole thing going on. Well, 739 00:52:43.400 --> 00:52:45.639 yeah, that's the same, Like, yeah, like I would. I 740 00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:52.159 was very physical with my girlfriends until someone would say something like you guys seem 741 00:52:52.199 --> 00:52:55.000 gay, and then I'd be like right, yeah, yeah, all right 742 00:52:55.239 --> 00:53:00.039 bye, and then they would all be very just a small cloud shaped like 743 00:53:00.119 --> 00:53:05.960 Ellie. I'm like, I'm out, could it be me? Yeah? 744 00:53:06.639 --> 00:53:09.800 I don't know about this gender stuff, you know. Listen, I'll give 745 00:53:09.840 --> 00:53:15.480 them. I'll give the Lesbian Master Doc a couple points for like how they 746 00:53:15.559 --> 00:53:19.880 handle this section. Couple things that I do. Like one very very welcoming 747 00:53:19.960 --> 00:53:22.199 of trans lesbians, which like, props to you, Lesbian Master Doc. 748 00:53:22.239 --> 00:53:27.280 We love our trans lesbians. Also, they're like very very cool about the 749 00:53:27.320 --> 00:53:30.199 whole like non binary lesbian thing, which I'm like, yes, please, 750 00:53:30.599 --> 00:53:35.599 like, great, great, why would this be an issue? I don't 751 00:53:35.639 --> 00:53:38.039 know. I feel like I at least was happy about that because sometimes, 752 00:53:38.039 --> 00:53:40.280 I mean, you know this, We've talked about this a lot before. 753 00:53:40.280 --> 00:53:45.039 It's like sometimes you get into the very like hardcore lesbian spaces and they get 754 00:53:45.199 --> 00:53:50.760 a little turfy, you know, like, well the turfy is like one 755 00:53:51.199 --> 00:53:53.880 byproduct of that, for sure, but they just get gatekeeping in a lot 756 00:53:53.920 --> 00:53:58.440 of ways about like what lesbian is or means or has to look like, 757 00:53:58.639 --> 00:54:02.159 in ways that like you and I are not here for so I'm actually like, 758 00:54:02.519 --> 00:54:07.079 you know, listen the the do we consider this the Bible? No? 759 00:54:07.360 --> 00:54:09.280 But I mean, like I was glad to see that it's not. 760 00:54:09.679 --> 00:54:13.760 It doesn't feel churpy. It doesn't feel like you know, I like, 761 00:54:13.920 --> 00:54:16.599 for example, knowing you're attracted to yes, it says knowing you're attracted to 762 00:54:16.599 --> 00:54:20.840 women, but feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable trying to interact with them as a 763 00:54:20.880 --> 00:54:24.400 straight man. Yeah, and only later realizing you're actually a trans lesbian. 764 00:54:24.920 --> 00:54:29.000 Or this one about non binary being non binary and taking a long time to 765 00:54:29.039 --> 00:54:31.159 sort through being able to respect them, understand your and I'm not binary at 766 00:54:31.199 --> 00:54:36.440 any and your lesbianists at the same time. Yeah. So, yes, 767 00:54:36.599 --> 00:54:40.880 it's very gender expansive. Sure, great, good good for the master doc. 768 00:54:40.960 --> 00:54:44.679 Ye, yes, there's so much. I like, we literally can't 769 00:54:44.679 --> 00:54:47.719 even kept through the entire No, we can't talk because because you know what 770 00:54:47.840 --> 00:54:52.000 this is. This is like okay, I mean I I come from a 771 00:54:52.039 --> 00:54:53.920 different era of the Internet when I was like dealing with all of this, 772 00:54:54.119 --> 00:54:59.199 But I'm like, this is every like, this is every Yahoo quiz, 773 00:55:00.239 --> 00:55:05.800 am I gay on, like some flash website in two thousand and two, 774 00:55:06.079 --> 00:55:10.320 Like this is all of them, like wrapped into a giant a giant PDF 775 00:55:12.719 --> 00:55:16.440 of just like all the things. Right, it just covers it covers it 776 00:55:16.559 --> 00:55:21.639 all much. I feel like ultimately though, I mean, like every one 777 00:55:21.679 --> 00:55:23.679 of those quizzes, it's like the answer is if you're googling the am I 778 00:55:23.719 --> 00:55:29.280 a lesbian master doc? You answer, yeah, you've got some gay you're 779 00:55:29.320 --> 00:55:34.599 answering. Seriously, It's like I'm about to read it. And I also 780 00:55:34.679 --> 00:55:40.480 just think it's it is so important to just be open to questioning your sexuality 781 00:55:40.559 --> 00:55:45.400 because if you're opening into questioning your sexuality and you're still straight, nothing has 782 00:55:45.519 --> 00:55:49.199 changed. You're cool, everything's fine. Do you know what I mean. 783 00:55:49.320 --> 00:55:53.559 It's like, the risk is that you live your entire straight life sad as 784 00:55:53.639 --> 00:56:00.480 fuck because you're not straight if you don't like And I guess that's also just 785 00:56:00.599 --> 00:56:02.679 I guess that's my perspective because I feel like that's the way that I live 786 00:56:02.760 --> 00:56:07.559 my life in general, is like I would rather do something and regret it 787 00:56:07.639 --> 00:56:10.519 than not do it. And I know that a lot of other people don't 788 00:56:10.519 --> 00:56:15.960 feel that way. And there's also safety concerns. Obviously, sure, we 789 00:56:15.079 --> 00:56:20.519 can't think, we can't ignore that, but I am I like that. 790 00:56:20.679 --> 00:56:24.639 This basically says like, if you're unsure or questioning, feel free to try 791 00:56:24.800 --> 00:56:30.199 on the lesbian label. If you come to the conclusion that you are not 792 00:56:30.360 --> 00:56:37.400 a lesbian eventually, that's okay too. That's fine. Listen, these two 793 00:56:37.559 --> 00:56:39.760 digs give you permission to try out being a lesbian. For ABID, just 794 00:56:40.599 --> 00:56:45.519 just give her a test drive and she like, listen, you just drive 795 00:56:45.559 --> 00:56:52.079 a car. You never can I can I tell you going to a real, 796 00:56:52.159 --> 00:56:54.920 deep, real fuck up. We're getting sucked up, okay, listen, 797 00:56:55.000 --> 00:56:57.840 can I tell you what I think the most fucked up part of this 798 00:56:58.039 --> 00:57:00.280 entire document is, though it's the TLD at the end because I swear to 799 00:57:00.320 --> 00:57:02.840 got this. TLDR is basically like, hey, straight girls, sorry, 800 00:57:02.920 --> 00:57:07.679 you're actually gay. Yeah, so let's go through some of the top bullet 801 00:57:07.719 --> 00:57:10.440 points in the TLDR. You might be a lesbian if you wish you were 802 00:57:10.440 --> 00:57:15.119 a lesbian so you could escape the discovery of dating men. Men are okay 803 00:57:15.199 --> 00:57:17.280 in theory but terrible in practice. You feel like you could live with a 804 00:57:17.320 --> 00:57:21.599 woman in a romantic way, even if you can't imagine doing anything sexual with 805 00:57:21.679 --> 00:57:23.599 a woman. Or let's just flip flop that you feel like you can enjoy 806 00:57:23.760 --> 00:57:28.639 sexual interaction with a woman even if you can't imagine having romantic feelings for a 807 00:57:28.719 --> 00:57:30.760 woman. You lose interest in a man as soon as they seem interested in 808 00:57:30.840 --> 00:57:36.159 you, And I'm like, this describes every straight girl. So many straight 809 00:57:36.199 --> 00:57:39.960 girls, like so many straight girls. As a child, you always thought 810 00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:43.840 you'd either never get married or platonically married a friend. I'm like, I 811 00:57:44.400 --> 00:57:46.920 wait, my favorite, you can't imagine having a happy and fulfilling future with 812 00:57:47.000 --> 00:57:52.920 the man. Oh god, you expect relationships with men to be unfulfilling by 813 00:57:53.000 --> 00:57:58.400 default. Yeah, you dislike being attracted to men in general? Like this, 814 00:57:59.039 --> 00:58:00.599 I swear to got straight, Like, you gotta do more, you 815 00:58:00.719 --> 00:58:04.280 gotta do a little bit better. You gotta be happier with your lot in 816 00:58:04.360 --> 00:58:07.119 life. Okay, Like yeah, have we're so sorry you were born We're 817 00:58:07.159 --> 00:58:09.960 sorry you were born this way, but like you gotta make it work. 818 00:58:10.880 --> 00:58:15.199 Yeah, I feel like we'rely It gets better PSA for straight For straight people, 819 00:58:16.239 --> 00:58:20.440 it gets better. I don't feel like, you know, like men 820 00:58:20.920 --> 00:58:23.599 in their like mid thirties, like they kind of start getting a little bit 821 00:58:23.599 --> 00:58:27.800 of their shit together. I don't know. Yeah, like you don't want 822 00:58:27.840 --> 00:58:29.920 to date men, but you feel like you have to. I mean, 823 00:58:30.079 --> 00:58:35.239 it's just it's that's it. You think that your feelings for women don't count, 824 00:58:35.360 --> 00:58:37.840 or that all women have feelings like that but they're not valid because you 825 00:58:37.880 --> 00:58:42.519 think it's a phase everyone's going through. Oh my god, you think that 826 00:58:42.719 --> 00:58:45.199 just because you could survive dating, marrying, or having sex with men, 827 00:58:45.280 --> 00:58:51.079 you're attracted to men. This is like, this is like, uh, 828 00:58:51.320 --> 00:58:54.440 this woman is trying to convince straight girls to sleep with her. That's what 829 00:58:54.559 --> 00:58:59.519 I feel like, Like, I'm sorry, she said. She literally says, 830 00:58:59.719 --> 00:59:01.719 hin, you don't have to settle for just surviving. If that's not 831 00:59:01.800 --> 00:59:06.159 a line from Shane for the from the L word. I don't know what 832 00:59:06.360 --> 00:59:10.320 is that? So is Oh my god, so funny. It's that's just 833 00:59:10.480 --> 00:59:15.920 Kate Monig and like a tank top and underwear leaning up with a with a 834 00:59:15.000 --> 00:59:17.679 cigarette in one hand, just being like, you know, you don't have 835 00:59:17.800 --> 00:59:24.119 to set settle for just surviving and then going in for the kill. Yeah, 836 00:59:24.199 --> 00:59:29.760 that's so accurate. Honestly, Props Master. I feel like you and 837 00:59:29.840 --> 00:59:34.079 I have just headcannon that Like, this girl had the most oblivious friend. 838 00:59:34.679 --> 00:59:38.559 Oh she's in love with her and she was like, I'm sorry, I 839 00:59:38.719 --> 00:59:42.199 have to write this for you, and she just likes to break it. 840 00:59:42.440 --> 00:59:45.400 Yeah. Yeah, but it's so good that way. Okay, So if 841 00:59:45.440 --> 00:59:49.199 you have if you haven't looked at Lesbian Master, Doc, you gotta look 842 00:59:49.239 --> 00:59:52.039 it up. It's a fucking great time, fun, fun for the whole 843 00:59:52.079 --> 00:59:57.119 family. Okay, have your if you have like a bunch of straight friends, 844 00:59:57.920 --> 01:00:00.840 just give them this and show them. You see how see how less 845 01:00:00.960 --> 01:00:06.039 gay they how see see how many traits they can check off? Because I 846 01:00:06.119 --> 01:00:09.199 swear to god, it's it's a wild time, wild wild all right. 847 01:00:09.320 --> 01:00:15.280 Here we go cue and gay cue. Cue Question number one, Lee, 848 01:00:15.440 --> 01:00:19.840 who was your celebrity stand in man crush A Joseph Gordon Levitt, B Orlando 849 01:00:19.880 --> 01:00:22.119 Bloom, Ce, Jared Letto or d Harry Styles. I mean, some 850 01:00:22.280 --> 01:00:27.039 of these are a little out of my era, so I'm gonna say Orlando 851 01:00:27.079 --> 01:00:30.440 Bloom. I did have a lot of legolists with the long hair. Orlando 852 01:00:30.480 --> 01:00:32.840 bloom pictures cut out on my wall as well. Question two, Ellie, 853 01:00:34.239 --> 01:00:37.320 did you ever take an am I Gay quiz? Online? Yes? Or 854 01:00:37.400 --> 01:00:39.880 no? I honestly don't think I did, And on like literally one, 855 01:00:40.280 --> 01:00:43.840 I don't know if I did. And honestly because I was so like I 856 01:00:43.880 --> 01:00:45.840 said, I was so gay, and I was still oppressed, and I 857 01:00:45.960 --> 01:00:50.320 was so scared. I couldn't if I type those words, and like, 858 01:00:50.480 --> 01:00:53.039 no, couldn't do it all right? Question number three, what did you 859 01:00:53.119 --> 01:00:57.440 do when you came out a haircut? B Men's galone, se mask style 860 01:00:57.559 --> 01:01:01.719 or d all view of I listen, It's fine, it's fine. D's 861 01:01:01.760 --> 01:01:05.880 a valid choice. We've all been there all the above knew it. It's 862 01:01:06.039 --> 01:01:10.639 fine, everything's fine. Stop it. Lee's so bright red for the half 863 01:01:10.639 --> 01:01:15.280 of this episode, listeners, I was I was a dumb little gay, 864 01:01:15.400 --> 01:01:19.079 Okay, it's fine. Question four really, do you ever practice kissing with 865 01:01:19.159 --> 01:01:22.840 your girlfriends? A? Yes, B, no, C still do or 866 01:01:23.119 --> 01:01:29.880 D I'm adding it I wish honestly, D, it's it's D. I 867 01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:32.559 never did, but my life might have turned out differently if I did. 868 01:01:32.599 --> 01:01:37.119 You know, No, I still think we would ended up here. Honestly. 869 01:01:37.719 --> 01:01:40.199 Oh yeah, I'm just saying much earlier, I would have been like 870 01:01:42.000 --> 01:01:44.639 like I missed, I missed some peak years. Yeah, I would have 871 01:01:44.719 --> 01:01:49.199 literally been like ten being like oh shit, yeah, yep, all right, 872 01:01:49.320 --> 01:01:52.840 Lee. Final question, what was your biggest gay sign before coming out? 873 01:01:53.239 --> 01:01:58.360 A gay dreams, B sweating around girls, CE, joining the GSA, 874 01:01:58.599 --> 01:02:00.920 or D never had a BF. I'm gonna say it has to be 875 01:02:00.960 --> 01:02:06.000 a tie between either gay dreams or joining the GSA. There was there's a 876 01:02:06.039 --> 01:02:08.159 lot of you were in the GSA. Oh yeah, but you were that. 877 01:02:08.440 --> 01:02:13.079 Yeah. I was a straight ally man. I was so supportive. 878 01:02:13.840 --> 01:02:15.519 I was such an ally too. But I didn't join the GSA. But 879 01:02:15.639 --> 01:02:20.719 I like Kate and I both were. Kate and I both heard thesa pre 880 01:02:20.880 --> 01:02:27.119 coming out like amazing listeners. Please let us know how the Lesbian Master Doc 881 01:02:27.199 --> 01:02:31.639 affected affected you. What a ride? Remember you can give us your own 882 01:02:31.639 --> 01:02:39.480 answers to episode qwing gay questions on our Twitter at lest that mean, we 883 01:02:39.960 --> 01:02:44.159 love hearing from all of you, and we love continuing to build this community. 884 01:02:44.280 --> 01:02:46.360 So we just want to shout out some of our favorite things every episode. 885 01:02:46.679 --> 01:02:50.280 And listen, we know last week we went hard on like what a 886 01:02:50.360 --> 01:02:52.599 cesspool or Facebook has been, so we just wanted to shout out some like 887 01:02:52.880 --> 01:02:59.719 actual comments that we've gotten from people on our Facebook that are like not not 888 01:03:00.119 --> 01:03:02.559 just like hate crimes, right, So we wanted to shout out Tea on 889 01:03:02.679 --> 01:03:07.880 Facebook who responded to our post about having a queer awakening to be for Vendetta 890 01:03:08.599 --> 01:03:13.039 saying saying yes but not until they realized they were trans which, like, 891 01:03:13.679 --> 01:03:19.159 I mean, the most correct response to a Wachowski Sisters film. Yes, 892 01:03:19.679 --> 01:03:24.039 And also I just loved this because we posted that quote graphic about how like 893 01:03:24.239 --> 01:03:28.480 if you know someone's like grabbing your hand and like massaging their own tap with 894 01:03:28.519 --> 01:03:30.440 it, like they might just be into you. So I just want to 895 01:03:30.480 --> 01:03:34.480 shout out Jason, who replied, I don't know, she might just be 896 01:03:34.559 --> 01:03:37.519 trying to be polite. Why do signs have to be so subtle? So 897 01:03:38.000 --> 01:03:43.840 yeah, maybe maybe they're just being polite you never know. Okay, don't 898 01:03:43.880 --> 01:03:49.719 quote us on this. It's it's just good manns, Yes, good manners, 899 01:03:50.559 --> 01:03:53.360 God so funny as always want to think are Lesbian Jesus patrons, Mark 900 01:03:53.400 --> 01:04:00.360 Foster, Lazette, Stei, Sophia Phillips and Armani Gucci and our our King 901 01:04:00.440 --> 01:04:03.880 Princess patrons Amy and Ellen and Andrewadus Sat. Thank you so much for supporting 902 01:04:03.960 --> 01:04:06.280 us. We could not continue to make the show without you. Remember you 903 01:04:06.320 --> 01:04:10.119 can also find us on all the social media's. We are on Instagram, 904 01:04:10.199 --> 01:04:13.960 Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok at Let's Hangout Pod. You can email us 905 01:04:14.000 --> 01:04:15.880 at less hangupod at gmail dot com, and you can check out our website 906 01:04:15.920 --> 01:04:19.239 at lesshanngoutpod dot com. Whatever app you use for podcasts, make sure you 907 01:04:19.280 --> 01:04:21.840 subscribe to give you the first to know when new episodes drop. We also 908 01:04:21.920 --> 01:04:26.199 have videos going up on our YouTube channel, so make sure you subscribe at 909 01:04:26.320 --> 01:04:29.960 YouTube dot com slash Let's Hangout Pod to catch them. Let's hang Out is 910 01:04:29.960 --> 01:04:33.000 an independently produced show hosted by US, with audio production by Ellie That's Me. 911 01:04:35.159 --> 01:04:39.320 Let's Hangout is an independently produced show hosted by US with audio production by 912 01:04:39.360 --> 01:04:44.519 me. Our production assistant is Chris Simerson and Twitter shdanigans and various other honestly 913 01:04:44.920 --> 01:04:47.679 taking care of a lot of the shit on our heteronormative sess pool that has 914 01:04:47.800 --> 01:04:51.880 somehow happened on our Facebook by LIAMS Foster. If you want to help support 915 01:04:51.920 --> 01:04:55.639 the podcast, there are so many things you can do. The first one, 916 01:04:55.719 --> 01:04:58.440 it's free. It's easy. Leave us a rating and a review on 917 01:04:58.559 --> 01:05:00.679 whatever app you use to listen in the podcasts. It helps new people will 918 01:05:00.679 --> 01:05:02.840 find the show. If you want to support us on Patreon, you can 919 01:05:02.920 --> 01:05:05.800 join us at bit dot lee, slash Less Patreon. We have all kinds 920 01:05:05.800 --> 01:05:11.559 of bonus Patreon episodes for you. We have almost twenty bonus episodes now, 921 01:05:11.760 --> 01:05:15.559 so if you're like I need more less hangout, join the Patreon and you'll 922 01:05:15.559 --> 01:05:18.239 get some extra access if you want some less hangout merge. It's a great 923 01:05:18.280 --> 01:05:21.639 time of year to gear up for Pride. You can find all of our 924 01:05:21.719 --> 01:05:27.079 designs in our teapublic at bit dot lee slash Less shop. And remember we 925 01:05:27.119 --> 01:05:30.519 do have a queer production company making queer podcast musicals with guaranteed happy endings that 926 01:05:30.559 --> 01:05:32.639 you can find everywhere at app dollar beIN prod you can also check out our 927 01:05:32.679 --> 01:05:36.679 website, Dollarbeanproductions dot com. You can listen to all the episodes of our 928 01:05:36.719 --> 01:05:40.159 first show, The Flame, on any podcasting app, and you can listen 929 01:05:40.199 --> 01:05:43.239 to all the episodes of our most recent show, Journey to the Heart, 930 01:05:43.400 --> 01:05:45.360 also on any podcasting app. And if you want to help support us and 931 01:05:45.400 --> 01:05:48.519 making more musicals, you can join our Patreon at bit dot lee slash dollar 932 01:05:48.559 --> 01:05:51.639 Bean Patreon. If you want to follow us individually, you can find me 933 01:05:51.800 --> 01:05:56.440 on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok at lsh Foster. You can find me 934 01:05:56.480 --> 01:05:59.400 on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok at Ellie Brigitta with that, I'm Ellie 935 01:05:59.559 --> 01:06:08.079 and I'm we and let's hang out again soon. Let's hang mm hmm