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Welcome to speed Round Sunday on the
Parenting Roundabout podcast, where we share a

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mini episode from our past for your
weekend listening pleasure. We'll be back tomorrow

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with a brand new episode. Our
speed Round topic today is whether and when

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your kids started making their own meals, like especially for breakfast in lunch,

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do you still make breakfast in lunch
for them? Do they do it independently?

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Do they do it independently sometimes?
I was noticing over the summer,

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when my husband was home that my
son was completely capable of making his own

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breakfast in lunch. But now that
my husband is back at work and I

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am the one sort of responsible for
making sure he eats, suddenly he needs

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help. So and possibly the problem
is that I feel guilty if I don't

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do it. So suck. You
know you're saying, mom, house to

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work, go get your own breakfast. I feel terrible. So I was

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gonna ask you, guys, do
your kids do their own thing meal wise?

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My daughter, who is alway has
for a very long time been completely

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independent in her breakfasting and lunching my
son. Apparently it goes back and forth.

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We'll see. You have to frame
it as not you can get your

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own because mom has to work.
But you can get your own because you're

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capable. And yes, you can
get your own because you're twenty four years

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Go add some milk to cereal.
It's not that hard. But I you

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know, it's still I feel like
bad mom. Maybe it's a maybe it's

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a mother son thing. Well,
yeah, because I'd like to take care

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of them. I still end up
making my son's breakfast and lunch lunch far

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too often. Also, yes,
because he is perfectly capable, but he

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is very busy, you know,
playing video games and doing other things,

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so he cannot be bothered to eat
anything. And then, of course until

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he desperately needs something and it's going
to be something horrible. Yes, So

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it's a challenge. I'm trying to
balance, you know, his need to

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be my need for him to be
independent, his need for him for himself

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to be independent. I'm not sure
where the grammar went there, you know,

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his need to be independent. Um, his perfectly capable hands that can

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make his own food. But then
the choices that he makes are not are

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not necessarily good. So here's the
other problem. So what do you do?

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You know, do you because there's
no the natural consequences. Thing is

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definitely not working. And because the
natural consequences, he will eat you know,

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cereal and candy. Yeah, yeah, for every meal and he'll be

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perfectly happy with that. Yeah.
So yeah, I start independent for sure.

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Yeah. Well, Nicole, obviously
your son makes his own meals because

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he's not living at home. But
about your daughter, he make his own

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meals his girlfriends his girlfriend does.
Let's backtrack a bit. I have failed

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miserably, like or actually I have
failed what would you say, I've successfully

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failed not encouraging or not having my
kids make their own meals. And I

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just kick myself all the time because
my son, who yeah, I tried.

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I tried teaching him how to cook, and I tried encouraging him to,

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uh, you know, get his
own meals. When I worked,

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it was easier because he had to
get his breakfast at his lunch and then

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I'd come home and get dinner.
But now that I've been at home,

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there's just somehow I fell into this
role, Yeah, getting them their breakfast,

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packing their lunch, having food ready
for them when they get home.

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So my son went from that and
so then in grade twelve, I'm like,

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that's it. You are no longer
you know, I'm no longer making

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your lunches for you. You're in
charge. And then, of course,

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even though I've got all the healthy
stuff in the fridge, he doesn't take

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anything and ends up getting just junk
food throughout the day. So natural consequences

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didn't work. And then he moved
out, and I thought, okay,

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uh huh, now is the time
he's going to finally learn for himself.

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But no, he lived in a
frat house where cooking just did not exist

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because you couldn't even find the kitchen
sink or the kitchen counter or the stove

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for that matter. And then from
there he started dating a lovely, lovely

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girl who loves to cook. Now
she's cooking and he's eating what she cooks

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for hal and I don't. I
just keep telling her you are spoiling him.

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You don't realize. And then does
she say, she goes, I

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like to do it. It's it's
you know, it's my favorite thing.

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So but it's funny because everyone's in
a while in our because we have a

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family chat on um texting, so
everyone's in a while a comment, she'll,

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you know, something we'll pop up
from her and it will say,

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Josh, please put a pot of
water on the stove and boil it.

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I'm coming home. So I think
that's the extent of his Oh man,

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his cooking is she only trusts him
to boil a pot of water. And

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then my daughter, on the other
hand, is she's terrible. She if

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I don't put something in front of
her, she won't eat if I tell

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her. Yeah. Well, I
think part of the problem too is that

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so she has add and she gets
hyper focused when she is doing something and

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she'll literally forget to eat. And
then when she finally realizes she has a

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raging headache from low blood sugar.
Yeah, and she's hungry, she'll want

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something to eat, but she's terrible. She won't. Yeah, she won't

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put anything together either. So,
and she used to bake. She used

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to do a lot of baking,
and which was great for us, but

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she's not interested anymore. So,
Yeah, I have not done well in

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that department. And well I feel
a little better now. Yeah. I

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just had got I got fifty percent
right. I just had my cousin here

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for as you know, I had
relatives here recently from Australia and her daughter,

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who is fifteen. She volunteers to
make dinner. Oh my god.

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And she makes good else too,
so it's great. Anyway, we haven't

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been able to get our kids to
necessarily do dinner for the family, but

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on nights. There are some nights
where my husband and son go out to

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do something and my daughter and I
have dinner together at home and she's in

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charge of dinner. Then she will
get the frozen fish and put it on

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a pan and put in the oven, and frozen vegetables or whatever. She

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makes dinner for me, and she's
very proud of it. And I'm like,

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as long as I'm not doing the
work, anything you want to serve.

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Yeah, I never cooked dinner anymore, but we're very into microwave things

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here for lunches and breakfasts. We
usually have leftovers, the kids have leftovers,

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so it can be done. Yeah, he can't do it, and

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if he's overhearing me saying this podcast, he will now be guilting me by

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doing. But it's not that hard
and I don't. I don't make lunch.

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I extracted a promise from my husband
and when I was I think before

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I even was pregnant with my first
child, that I would not make lunches

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because I hate it so much because
I just always hated making my own lunch

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for work. So he, you
know, unwittingly agreed, Not unwittingly,

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he just yeah, you know,
he agreed, not not really realized the

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magnitude of what he agreed to.
So yeah, so yeah, I don't

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make lunches for anyone, like packed
lunches. So either my husband makes them,

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or the kids make them themselves,
or they buy the school lunch,

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which generally tends to be the final
the final answer. But yeah, and

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what really bugs me is when he
makes the kids lunches now, because I'm

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always telling him they need to do
it themselves. Yeah, you know,

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don't do that for them, don't
do that for them. But right,

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it doesn't really work because then they
just don't do it. They just buy.

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I should just not put money in
their account. There you go.

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It starved and I can't look you
know. Yeah, we are conflicted