WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:03.279 Fat. Oh my god, throw me in a knapsack and throw me in 2 00:00:03.319 --> 00:00:06.719 the Colorado River. I'll take drowning any day over that, my god. 3 00:00:06.960 --> 00:00:10.160 Oh no, no, no, If you guys don't mind, I'd like 4 00:00:10.199 --> 00:00:13.519 to point out why I can't stand Swartz. We were talking about elemental death. 5 00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:17.559 Do you want to I understand? I just say it. There's a 6 00:00:17.600 --> 00:00:25.039 lot of stuff on TV. All of it it's good Jim Track. A 7 00:00:25.120 --> 00:00:31.039 lot of it's bad TV. Hilo. Welcome to another brand speaking new episode 8 00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:34.719 of bad TV. My name is Dylan. I'm settled up next to one 9 00:00:34.759 --> 00:00:41.119 Patrick Kicky. Great to be here. Hey Ruby do, Hey bye do 10 00:00:41.320 --> 00:00:47.159 girl, Hey doing. I am good. I wanted to say yam yao, 11 00:00:47.240 --> 00:00:49.799 but it's a dog. That's fine. Are you guys. I'm well. 12 00:00:49.880 --> 00:00:52.439 I'm burning up right now. I'm running a fever. I'm wording gonna 13 00:00:52.439 --> 00:00:54.880 get sick. Don't get well. Remember you get me sick, you get 14 00:00:54.920 --> 00:00:58.640 my children sick. To don't do that away from me, don't do that 15 00:00:58.679 --> 00:01:03.000 to me. My god, Patrick, I can't have that on my conscience. 16 00:01:03.200 --> 00:01:06.159 No, they'll be fine. Yeah, now everybody's gonna be okay. 17 00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:11.599 Hope everybody is having a lovely holiday. Season. I know that we owe 18 00:01:11.640 --> 00:01:15.640 you guys a meet up. The holidays are getting a little bit congested, 19 00:01:15.799 --> 00:01:21.400 so I think what we're gonna end up doing is New Year. Early in 20 00:01:21.439 --> 00:01:23.159 the New Year, when Papaya Do Girl is still in town, we are 21 00:01:23.200 --> 00:01:29.000 going to hop in this studio and have a little happy hour with you guys 22 00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:33.120 to kick off the fun. Have a couple of cocktails. Yeah, yeah, 23 00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:36.239 yeah, before the world starts to burn. Well, we'll you know, 24 00:01:36.359 --> 00:01:38.079 toast the new year. Oh nice. Yeah, it's gonna be twenty 25 00:01:38.120 --> 00:01:42.480 twenty four. It's gonna be a fucking shit show. We just hate election 26 00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:46.239 years. I mean, my god, Well, we don't do politics, 27 00:01:46.359 --> 00:01:48.879 no, no, this network. But I'll say this, what year hasn't 28 00:01:48.920 --> 00:01:51.799 been a shit show? I feel like the last fucking decade it's been wow 29 00:01:52.200 --> 00:01:56.760 well as wacky as Winterhouse. I think not any more PSAs. I think 30 00:01:56.799 --> 00:01:59.159 that's it. Just an out over to Patreon dot com, slash into the 31 00:01:59.159 --> 00:02:01.680 podcast network. Support us over there. Lots of great content. Dylan and 32 00:02:01.719 --> 00:02:05.879 I are killing it with the pmzs. Listeners love it, they love the 33 00:02:05.920 --> 00:02:09.919 APS's. You get two hours of extra content over there, so we're a 34 00:02:09.960 --> 00:02:16.280 little more there. You go all right, so Ruby, No, so 35 00:02:17.319 --> 00:02:23.199 we have got what. We record two shows on Monday nights. We record 36 00:02:23.240 --> 00:02:27.759 Below Deck and we record Winterhouse. And I didn't ever think this was going 37 00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:36.039 to happen. I am more excited and I enjoy watching Winterhouse more than Below 38 00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:38.680 Deck right now. Oh that's been how I feel for a long time. 39 00:02:38.759 --> 00:02:42.639 Deal really yeah, Oh my gosh, well it's really flipped for me lately. 40 00:02:42.680 --> 00:02:45.919 I mean, if I can deliver my snowballs right oh for it, 41 00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:51.360 if I could throw my snowballs right now at everybody like Corey did to his 42 00:02:51.719 --> 00:02:58.759 girlfriend Malia, this episode had it all. We kick things off, which 43 00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:05.919 we'll discuss with just one of the saddest things I've ever heard Danielle say, 44 00:03:05.080 --> 00:03:13.479 the nightmare that is her internal vortex right now is something to behold. Not 45 00:03:13.599 --> 00:03:17.080 to mention, we've got Bumblebee coming in, who was as disastrous as we 46 00:03:17.159 --> 00:03:24.000 knew she was going to be. Corey seems to be inching his way towards 47 00:03:24.039 --> 00:03:30.479 the finale of this season without being without the veil or shroud being lifted, 48 00:03:31.360 --> 00:03:38.639 revealing him to be an absolute massive Claymation Wallace and Grommet looking piece of shit. 49 00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:45.560 I don't know how that's happened. It is like this this sorcery shit 50 00:03:45.639 --> 00:03:47.800 that he's pulling on people. I don't get it. But the episode had 51 00:03:47.800 --> 00:03:53.000 everything and Sandoval's back. I mean, my goodness, I'm gonna have to 52 00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:55.479 take issue with nineteen snowballs. Ruby, Do you mind if I go next? 53 00:03:57.000 --> 00:03:58.719 Not at all? All? Right, So I had a funny thought. 54 00:03:58.759 --> 00:04:00.360 It's kind of a dark thought about this. This is what I do 55 00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:04.280 as watching this show. I'm like, what if there was some bizarre experiment 56 00:04:04.360 --> 00:04:10.759 where these these people were never allowed to leave Winterhouse? Yeah, and eventually 57 00:04:10.759 --> 00:04:14.800 their their language devolves down to just like three words, and those words are 58 00:04:14.879 --> 00:04:19.639 shots and send it right like zeros and ones like binary and then eventually they 59 00:04:19.680 --> 00:04:25.360 just start killing each other. Dark thought. Oh, because they never get 60 00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:28.800 to leave Winterhouse. They're trapped there and they'll grow old. There Are you 61 00:04:28.879 --> 00:04:31.839 going anywhere with that? Or do you just want to see them they're lexicon 62 00:04:31.920 --> 00:04:34.920 devolve and then have them all kill each other, because well, I kind 63 00:04:34.920 --> 00:04:39.759 of want to punish people like Amanda, who turned in another stellar season. 64 00:04:40.160 --> 00:04:43.759 Not well she did all shot tonight. Oh wow, that was fun. 65 00:04:43.879 --> 00:04:47.680 Yeah that was really cool. Actually she's super annoying. I love how Malia 66 00:04:48.079 --> 00:04:53.639 stepped up the flirting as opposed to contained it when Sam was on. There 67 00:04:53.720 --> 00:04:57.480 was almost like she was kind of marking her territory in Quide County. Yeah, 68 00:04:57.560 --> 00:05:01.160 quiet, Yeah. And I also loved Club Neon because I have a 69 00:05:01.199 --> 00:05:05.879 theory why Batman was asked if he do a door guy service. Sure, 70 00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:09.920 they didn't want him to come into the party because he's lame. Yeah. 71 00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:15.000 I thought you were going to leave us in suspense with that theory, but 72 00:05:15.160 --> 00:05:17.680 no, you just came right out and said it. His little arms and 73 00:05:17.680 --> 00:05:20.720 his big muscles were put outside because he is the dork of the group. 74 00:05:21.720 --> 00:05:26.319 No one wants to have sex with him. That's not true. Everybody wants 75 00:05:26.319 --> 00:05:29.160 to have sex with enjoyed the episode. This is so fun. I think 76 00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:30.800 there's only two episodes left, I think, or maybe next. I don't 77 00:05:30.800 --> 00:05:38.879 know. Anyway, I'm having a good time. Ninety Snowballs. I loved 78 00:05:39.160 --> 00:05:45.839 the episode. To me, it felt like a vintage premiere of a Bravo 79 00:05:45.959 --> 00:05:51.680 show from like early two thousands that we all miss. Yeah. It was 80 00:05:53.279 --> 00:06:00.879 sad, it was pathetic, It was hilarious. It was sexy. Feel 81 00:06:00.920 --> 00:06:03.079 warm. Yeah, it was sexy, just like being so icy up there 82 00:06:03.319 --> 00:06:09.480 right, and I agree with you till I actually can't wait to talk about 83 00:06:09.480 --> 00:06:14.839 it. I'm really looking forward to this conversation. Ninety four snowballs. How 84 00:06:15.079 --> 00:06:17.720 did we end up here? Do the mic sound weird? No, it's 85 00:06:17.759 --> 00:06:20.879 just my headphones could probably be turned up a little bit. But I'm good, 86 00:06:21.240 --> 00:06:25.439 Okay, Yeah, I'm fine. Hey, one last note on my 87 00:06:25.480 --> 00:06:28.480 snowballs. I do want to say this. You guys seem very happy to 88 00:06:28.519 --> 00:06:30.519 have Schwartz return. No, oh, you're not, okay, because he 89 00:06:30.560 --> 00:06:34.399 adds nothing. I would trade him, like in some kind of weird trade 90 00:06:35.480 --> 00:06:41.519 for four Sea Rats. I'd give away a main cast member for Vanda pumper 91 00:06:41.560 --> 00:06:44.079 roles for four Sea Rats. I think it'd just be better if he was 92 00:06:44.120 --> 00:06:46.959 an animal. I mean, let's get a house dog, Let's get a 93 00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:49.879 house mule. I mean, what would be better if if we had a 94 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:55.879 mule in the front yard or in the living room or Schwartz. You know, 95 00:06:57.120 --> 00:07:00.439 I would a lom we Oh my god, we Alama would be better 96 00:07:00.519 --> 00:07:08.000 because they are unpredictable. They're very aggressive and I'll spit at everyone. Yeah, 97 00:07:08.720 --> 00:07:11.959 Sam would love that. There you go, So with Corey, let's 98 00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:16.959 get into it. Last week left off Monday, March twentieth ten, twenty 99 00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:23.040 six pm. Last week left off, Danielle was doing her Stewart Smilly Smiley 100 00:07:23.199 --> 00:07:29.120 kind of moment where she was looking in the mirror and she Okay, she 101 00:07:29.279 --> 00:07:38.360 is devolving into a kind of psychological fracturing where she's developing split personality disorder. 102 00:07:38.439 --> 00:07:42.680 She's talking to herself numerous times this evening. Oh, yes, out loud. 103 00:07:42.720 --> 00:07:45.240 It's not an internal thing where you're kind of gassing yourself up. No, 104 00:07:45.360 --> 00:07:48.839 she is out loud speaking to herself about herself, about other people. 105 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:56.439 She's absolutely fucking losing it, definitely. Case in point Dylan. She well, 106 00:07:56.519 --> 00:08:00.879 she just got finished turning it up with Batman, and she says that 107 00:08:01.279 --> 00:08:05.079 she, uh, this is a quote. She feels like Alex is kind 108 00:08:05.079 --> 00:08:09.959 of pulling away quite the understatement. Yeah, that's like someone saying Hitler wasn't 109 00:08:09.959 --> 00:08:15.079 a fan of Jewish people. Yeah, well not the same and the same 110 00:08:15.360 --> 00:08:20.040 gratitude, sure, yeah, same stakes. She reminds me of those homeless 111 00:08:20.079 --> 00:08:24.160 people in the street that are mumbling to themselves and every once in a while 112 00:08:24.199 --> 00:08:26.399 your headphones are dead, so you listen and you're like, are they actually 113 00:08:26.720 --> 00:08:31.120 like spouting wisdom? Yeah? And then you think and you're like nope, 114 00:08:31.120 --> 00:08:35.720 never, never mind. Well then you know, sorry, really quickly. 115 00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:41.080 They are spouting wisdom. They're spouting the purest form of wisdom. They have 116 00:08:41.279 --> 00:08:46.399 no ego to protect themselves from ego consciousness. But what that allows them to 117 00:08:46.440 --> 00:08:52.720 do is commune with the fallen angels. Now, it's not beneficial to be 118 00:08:52.840 --> 00:08:58.200 speaking to them on this plane, but were we to be able to tap 119 00:08:58.240 --> 00:09:01.960 into the psychosis of somebody, like, let's say, Danielle, I think 120 00:09:01.960 --> 00:09:03.799 the world would be a better place, but unfortunately she's just too blacked out 121 00:09:03.799 --> 00:09:07.679 in heartbroke. Yeah, yeah, Just to add another point to that, 122 00:09:07.759 --> 00:09:13.200 her saying that alex is pulling away if an avalanche struck that winter house and 123 00:09:13.240 --> 00:09:18.919 it took her out to be relieved. Well, so, speaking of kind 124 00:09:18.919 --> 00:09:26.279 of psychology and mental fragility, let's break down one of the most painful things 125 00:09:26.320 --> 00:09:31.879 that Danielle has ever said. And Danielle has been saying all kind of things 126 00:09:31.919 --> 00:09:37.799 for a very very long time, right, She said that over the past 127 00:09:37.879 --> 00:09:41.279 couple of weeks she has found a part of herself that she hasn't seen in 128 00:09:41.320 --> 00:09:43.399 a while. And we're wondering, as she said that mom would that be 129 00:09:43.919 --> 00:09:48.559 right, because clearly you are just losing sight of everything that makes you up. 130 00:09:50.279 --> 00:09:54.600 But she reveals that the part of herself that she has found recently is 131 00:09:54.639 --> 00:10:05.120 that she is desired. That is so unbelievably. I mean, that is 132 00:10:05.320 --> 00:10:11.840 ramming into an iceberg. We are fucking sinking into the freezing cold Arctic ocean 133 00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:13.320 if that's the body of water. The walls are talking to her. Yeah, 134 00:10:13.360 --> 00:10:16.799 the walls are talking to her. I want to remind her, as 135 00:10:16.840 --> 00:10:20.000 she said this, ten minutes earlier, she was throwing Batman's care package this 136 00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:22.480 mommy bought from all the contents of that on the floor, right. But 137 00:10:22.639 --> 00:10:26.080 it not a lot of personal growth. It makes the conversation that she had 138 00:10:26.120 --> 00:10:31.879 with Jordan's so much more. I'll just use the word sad again. The 139 00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:41.240 projection is just and listen, there's no point to sit here and psychoanalyze snow 140 00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:45.720 rats, right, There's just no point. It's not a fruitful endeavor. 141 00:10:46.120 --> 00:10:52.200 But I think given the drunken transparency that we see this evening, the conversation 142 00:10:52.320 --> 00:10:58.360 with Jordan was just so pathetic, telling her that the only way she derives 143 00:10:58.440 --> 00:11:05.879 value is from men, and then Danielle later saying I've found the part of 144 00:11:05.919 --> 00:11:11.600 myself that I haven't seen in some time that is fulfilled after being desired by 145 00:11:11.679 --> 00:11:16.399 men. I mean, it's just my heart breaks for her. She's just 146 00:11:16.519 --> 00:11:20.480 got to get into some kind of I think equinox would be fine, but 147 00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:26.000 movement is medicine. We don't go outside, take a walk, pet Robes. 148 00:11:26.039 --> 00:11:30.600 Any thoughts on this, you know what, I'll just say no to 149 00:11:30.639 --> 00:11:35.039 be safe. That am I off? Am I off? Now she's losing 150 00:11:35.039 --> 00:11:41.000 her mind. Maybe it's sad, right, yeah, very, I mean 151 00:11:41.639 --> 00:11:43.840 it's sad stuff, right. Yeah. At some point she walks down the 152 00:11:43.879 --> 00:11:48.919 hallway and tells Alex to fuck off. And then meanwhile the house gets word 153 00:11:48.960 --> 00:11:54.080 that Swartz has survived the reunion, and they rejoice like the rebel forces did 154 00:11:54.120 --> 00:11:58.559 when they took out that ad at an empire. Yeah. Boy, the 155 00:11:58.679 --> 00:12:01.679 hierarchy really is on. Like and the ad AD is the chicken. Now, 156 00:12:03.080 --> 00:12:05.240 no, that's the little walking one with the two legs. I'm talking 157 00:12:05.240 --> 00:12:09.799 of. That ad is the four the four legs. Oh okay, yeah, 158 00:12:09.919 --> 00:12:13.919 that's the cow. Well, yeah, I guess it looks more like 159 00:12:13.919 --> 00:12:16.279 a dog to me. What Yeah, don't do this. It's not a 160 00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:20.919 problem to compare Imperial Walkers and weaponry with farm animal. I don't think not 161 00:12:22.039 --> 00:12:22.759 at all. You know, they don't have an issue for that. They 162 00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:26.600 don't have advocates unless when you want to cut their heads off and eat them. 163 00:12:26.679 --> 00:12:28.360 Hey, you know I was going to say, Uh, my point 164 00:12:28.559 --> 00:12:33.480 was, you don't cut that. Clearly is the most famous person on this 165 00:12:33.559 --> 00:12:35.679 show. Why they suck his ass? Oh? I love that take. 166 00:12:37.519 --> 00:12:39.200 I love that take. I also think he's a bit of a puppy dog 167 00:12:39.240 --> 00:12:43.519 and generally a likable guy until you get to know him. But I think 168 00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:46.399 he's a phony. I've seen the foot of him dump a glass of whiskey 169 00:12:46.440 --> 00:12:48.799 over the top of his wife's head. Well, he was only thirty one 170 00:12:48.840 --> 00:12:52.559 when he did that, so I also saw him throw a bottle at Stosse's 171 00:12:52.600 --> 00:12:56.720 head in the first season of vanderbub Rules. He's got a little bit of 172 00:12:56.759 --> 00:12:58.879 a touch of violence in him. He was only thirty when he did that. 173 00:13:00.039 --> 00:13:01.399 So let's get back to the mess. Danielle's on the verge of tears, 174 00:13:01.399 --> 00:13:05.720 saying that she's not upset at Batman, but that she's not sure if 175 00:13:05.759 --> 00:13:13.120 she cannot not take it out on him. I mean, there are drunk 176 00:13:13.159 --> 00:13:16.200 tanks where you just people got to sober up a little bit. Maybe we 177 00:13:16.279 --> 00:13:20.919 should have and maybe I don't know what a fifty one to fifty is. 178 00:13:20.919 --> 00:13:22.360 Is it just you need to go in a soft room for a while, 179 00:13:22.360 --> 00:13:26.120 because Danielle needs to go in a soft room for a while. Yeah, 180 00:13:26.320 --> 00:13:28.879 it would help her out. My buddy, and then I won't say his 181 00:13:28.919 --> 00:13:31.600 name, help him out. Yeah, it's got two kids, he's normal. 182 00:13:33.279 --> 00:13:37.000 Well, when Batman says, upon hearing that it's about other things, 183 00:13:37.120 --> 00:13:41.159 he brings up Alex's name, and she has a quiet panic, quiet flip 184 00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:48.840 out and says dude. And she also slips into this vowel surf parlance like 185 00:13:48.039 --> 00:13:50.720 kind of a lot where she says dude and bro and stuff like that. 186 00:13:50.799 --> 00:13:56.600 And I don't think that that's her, but she says, dude, it's 187 00:13:56.679 --> 00:14:01.000 not that deep it is. We are drilling for oil at this point. 188 00:14:01.039 --> 00:14:07.279 What's happening to her is so deep. Yeah, yeah, the pause that 189 00:14:07.320 --> 00:14:11.480 I've been using to dig my deep deep hull their drills now yeah yeah right, 190 00:14:11.799 --> 00:14:18.159 And I'm not saying deep broadly speaking. This is as shallow as we 191 00:14:18.240 --> 00:14:22.480 can get. But in the well that is her. I mean, we're 192 00:14:22.519 --> 00:14:26.480 at the center of the earth right now, you know. Well, this 193 00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:30.919 neon party starts to rev up, and Batman and Danielle when they chat, 194 00:14:31.120 --> 00:14:33.559 did you notice she didn't apologize for throwing his mummy shit all No, she 195 00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:37.159 defended it kind of, Yeah she did. And then that's when Batman, 196 00:14:37.200 --> 00:14:41.080 I'm sure he's pretty proud of himself for this one liner. He said she 197 00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:45.840 doesn't care about his box because she only cares about her box. Good one, 198 00:14:45.879 --> 00:14:48.240 Batman, will never see you on Winter House. Do you have the 199 00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:50.960 word and I don't mean to, I don't mean to show how the sausage 200 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:54.840 is made, but do you have the word joke written on your notes? 201 00:14:54.879 --> 00:14:56.000 Oh? Yeah, yeah, I dude, I've been doing that for years. 202 00:14:56.120 --> 00:14:58.679 Really, that's the first time you said that. Yeah, because I 203 00:14:58.679 --> 00:15:01.000 got to remind myself when I'm looking, I'll say, this might be a 204 00:15:01.039 --> 00:15:07.480 funny thing to say. Okay, so funny. Sam is coming the next 205 00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:09.799 morning. They go, oh, amazing, I can't wait to see her 206 00:15:09.879 --> 00:15:20.159 come really quickly. Yeah. When Kyle says to Batman, Casey asked me 207 00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:22.840 to be the bouncer, but we needed the biggest, strongest guy to do 208 00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:28.679 it. I thought it was like when a mentally handicapped child is on a 209 00:15:28.679 --> 00:15:33.039 football team and they are like no, in a great way. They're like, 210 00:15:33.080 --> 00:15:37.159 hey, we want you to come out and take the winning like kick 211 00:15:37.240 --> 00:15:41.519 for the goal, right, knowing full well that whatever happens, everyone will 212 00:15:41.600 --> 00:15:46.240 cheer. Right. That's what it felt like to me when he called Brian 213 00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:50.080 the biggest, strongest. Yeah, yeah, Brian's Rudy. Is what you're 214 00:15:50.080 --> 00:15:54.039 saying without saying it. Yes, I am, Yeah, Brian's Rudy, 215 00:15:54.399 --> 00:15:58.720 And you know, I think that's really really sweet. That's a nice gesture. 216 00:15:58.159 --> 00:16:02.440 But if the game's close, I mean, it's just not they can't 217 00:16:02.440 --> 00:16:04.360 put him in. It's not you got to win the game. Parents are 218 00:16:04.360 --> 00:16:07.440 there. You have to win the game. People's parents are there. There 219 00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:11.399 are scholarships on the line. You can't have an autistic kid come out and 220 00:16:11.679 --> 00:16:17.240 miss a field goal by forty yards. Retrospectively speaking, if Rudy were to 221 00:16:17.320 --> 00:16:22.960 be Bruce Wayne, that would be a film I'd love to see. Sure, 222 00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:27.200 make it right, that's that's the next Batman. I think Robert Pattinson's 223 00:16:27.240 --> 00:16:30.919 gonna kind of do a methody thing. Yeah, you think they'll make another 224 00:16:30.919 --> 00:16:33.279 one of those pieces of ship. Oh yeah, they're for sure going to 225 00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:38.200 do it. Oh, now it's worth mentioning. When Kyle announces that Sam 226 00:16:38.200 --> 00:16:42.360 will be there tomorrow, I'm sorry. When Corey announces that, Kyle suggests, 227 00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:47.039 I love this part. Kyle suggested to Corey, Hey, maybe this 228 00:16:47.080 --> 00:16:52.360 is when you guys, are you know, bro gonna put a label on 229 00:16:52.399 --> 00:17:00.919 this. Corey was quick. This is He shook his head so intensely. 230 00:17:00.960 --> 00:17:03.160 I thought it could have fucking fall fell off, Like that's how I think 231 00:17:03.160 --> 00:17:07.480 he threw up in his mouth. He did. And the reason why it 232 00:17:07.519 --> 00:17:11.920 has nothing to do with he loves Sam. We know that, but he 233 00:17:12.079 --> 00:17:21.200 is so committed to his business. The thought of commitment right now, I 234 00:17:21.240 --> 00:17:23.920 mean, it just it's not going to work. The gyms have to be 235 00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:30.559 open at five o'clock in the morning and they have to close at eleven thirty. 236 00:17:30.680 --> 00:17:33.640 He has no time, no time people that are not him. Sure. 237 00:17:34.279 --> 00:17:38.400 So he also says Sam is really secure and she doesn't get jealous about 238 00:17:38.400 --> 00:17:41.200 petty stuff. So let's tack that on the corkboard for now, and then 239 00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:45.200 we'll get back to it in a minute. We go back to the Jordan 240 00:17:45.279 --> 00:17:48.920 and Danielle conversation. You're low energy because no one's attracted to you. There's 241 00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:52.960 this weird thing happening where I listen. I'm I don't think that this show 242 00:17:53.039 --> 00:17:59.640 is popular enough to have the kind of torrent of hashtag rony tweets and stuff 243 00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:04.279 like that, But I hope Danielle is getting somewhat dragged for her behavior towards 244 00:18:04.319 --> 00:18:11.720 Jordan. I mean, it's bullying. It's it's just so fucking weird. 245 00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:14.799 I mean it, it doesn't matter at the end of the day. And 246 00:18:14.839 --> 00:18:21.400 I don't advocate for bullying really anybody except a lot of people too. Yeah, 247 00:18:21.559 --> 00:18:25.240 except a lot of people. So sorry, I'm gonna just I'm gonna 248 00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:27.200 just shrink into that hole that we've been drilling when we watch Danielle and just 249 00:18:27.279 --> 00:18:30.279 let Pat take it. Sure. Sure, So this is actually Malia that 250 00:18:30.359 --> 00:18:34.400 checks in with Jordan because Jordan's still pissed about Daniell accusing her of being low 251 00:18:34.519 --> 00:18:37.680 energy and yeah, you know, not have any guys to flat with. 252 00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:41.400 Jordan aptly points out, Hey, look here, idiot, I don't let 253 00:18:41.440 --> 00:18:44.119 men defind me. And by the way, half the guys in this house 254 00:18:44.119 --> 00:18:47.079 have tried to fucking sleep with me and I've turned him down, including your 255 00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:51.799 dude, right, and I'm on my feet. I'm on my feet and 256 00:18:51.799 --> 00:18:56.359 I'm clapping. I agree. Yeah, I'm Shia. I'm Shia in a 257 00:18:56.400 --> 00:19:02.799 suit right now. I have a couple notable quotes from Amanda before she's going 258 00:19:02.880 --> 00:19:06.599 to depart the next day. Sure, she says, I have glitter bitches. 259 00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:08.759 Those are the things that keep her on this franchise. And then she 260 00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:15.839 notes later the food arrives and she says, we are energying, energizing before 261 00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:22.039 we send it, sending it is not a thing, not a thing. 262 00:19:22.279 --> 00:19:30.039 But but during that scene when they are energizing, Danielle is being perhaps this 263 00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:34.599 maybe this is when my hands became the drills. She's like just kind of 264 00:19:34.599 --> 00:19:37.400 like cleaning and like mumbling to herself, and she's like, it's just a 265 00:19:37.480 --> 00:19:47.680 really weird way to eat things normally all out but and and people are placating 266 00:19:47.759 --> 00:19:52.119 the situation, trying to say, no, no, this isn't an atomic 267 00:19:52.319 --> 00:19:56.359 flaming bomb in our kitchen in the middle of our night when we're all being 268 00:19:56.440 --> 00:20:02.200 pretty lovely. Yeah. Well, she as she retreats to her lair if 269 00:20:02.200 --> 00:20:04.920 you remember this roubs, and she's talking to herself, still talking to herself, 270 00:20:04.920 --> 00:20:10.279 she says fucking idiots under her breath. And meanwhile Alex, Alex tells 271 00:20:10.359 --> 00:20:12.279 us if she was dead, it'd be a better trip for him, you 272 00:20:12.319 --> 00:20:17.160 know. And then he also adds if a coyote pulled her into the forest 273 00:20:17.160 --> 00:20:21.519 and devoured her by a pack of wolves, Alex would say about time, 274 00:20:21.720 --> 00:20:27.640 let's break down that hypothetical that wasn't said. If a coyote yep dragged her 275 00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:34.440 into the forest and was eaten by a pack of wolves, it would be 276 00:20:34.440 --> 00:20:41.480 better. So one, we know that coyotes don't really have the gumption or 277 00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:48.279 the jaw strength to carry a full grown human that far through the snow into 278 00:20:48.319 --> 00:20:52.599 the woods. You know. They just that's nuts, just not there their 279 00:20:52.640 --> 00:20:56.839 game. Also, I don't think that a pack of wolves would really I 280 00:20:56.880 --> 00:21:02.640 mean, maybe there's this kind of budding Disney movie that's happening in Speedboat where 281 00:21:02.680 --> 00:21:07.720 the wolves in the Hyaena the coyotes are getting along. But I'm not really 282 00:21:07.079 --> 00:21:15.039 sure that anything you said made any fucking sense. And I'm actually I'm pretty 283 00:21:15.079 --> 00:21:18.839 pissed off right now. No, you're so right. The form that she 284 00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:26.839 can enter when she is blackout drunk, is this really, there's no other 285 00:21:26.920 --> 00:21:30.440 word than toxic. And I don't want to, you know, lean on 286 00:21:30.759 --> 00:21:34.359 gen Z parlance and say stuff like that. But when it works, it 287 00:21:34.440 --> 00:21:37.359 works. You know, riz works. It's Oxford's word of the year, 288 00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:45.160 and it just works, you know. And toxic is what is happening with 289 00:21:45.319 --> 00:21:49.519 Danielle. Everywhere she goes, she has a gloom and a blight to her 290 00:21:51.000 --> 00:21:56.240 that is just shooting off in every direction. She's pissed about the Chinese food. 291 00:21:56.640 --> 00:22:02.039 Who could be pissed about Chinese food, especially Chinese food that just shows 292 00:22:02.119 --> 00:22:03.279 up outside your door. You didn't even have to order it. Well, 293 00:22:03.319 --> 00:22:12.720 she did order it, you know at some point club, Yeah, yeah, 294 00:22:12.799 --> 00:22:15.839 go ahead. I was gonna say, at some point, no, 295 00:22:15.720 --> 00:22:19.799 no, no, go ahead, what were you saying? Now, I 296 00:22:19.880 --> 00:22:22.079 was just gonna say, she just gets so mad at them, and they're 297 00:22:22.079 --> 00:22:25.319 eating it in a very very normal way, actually, and I wanted to 298 00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:26.880 point that out. Nothing they were doing was wrong. Well, the box 299 00:22:27.079 --> 00:22:34.200 was the box was on the island. Who oh, it's it's really odd 300 00:22:34.240 --> 00:22:40.519 how we're eating with a box on the table. Huh. Would you go 301 00:22:40.799 --> 00:22:45.680 away right now or take ecstasy or something to turn your frown upside down? 302 00:22:45.799 --> 00:22:48.519 Now she does, But then Malia follows her in the room and she tells 303 00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:52.400 Danielle come back and join. And I always love when people give you like, 304 00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:56.160 absolutely incorrect information. I've done this to people. People have done this 305 00:22:56.200 --> 00:23:00.960 to me. She assures her that Alex is definitely not flirting with Jordan at 306 00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:06.920 Club Neon. Yeah. The only problem is he's absolutely flirting with Jordan in 307 00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:10.880 Club Neon. Yeah, I know he is. He is now the Club 308 00:23:10.960 --> 00:23:15.880 Neon proceedings, you know, they go on and there's nothing really of notary. 309 00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:19.319 Amanda takes a jellow shot and after a few bed jumps, we head 310 00:23:19.319 --> 00:23:25.079 to bed. At four point thirty in the morning, we wake for the 311 00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:27.880 next day in the house is an absolute nightmare. Everyone smells a fireball. 312 00:23:29.160 --> 00:23:34.480 And that is when Kyle and Amanda I believe it's here, have a conversation 313 00:23:34.519 --> 00:23:38.680 about how their parents, oh proud dog parents, Dylan. Of of course 314 00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:42.279 their dogs are named Reese and Rider. And this is when you need to 315 00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:45.599 leave the show. This is the white flag that says, I give up. 316 00:23:45.839 --> 00:23:49.440 I'm not even trying anymore. We're having a conversation about our fucking dogs. 317 00:23:49.599 --> 00:23:57.359 Naming a bespoke, five thousand dollars dog that you got from a breeder. 318 00:23:59.000 --> 00:24:03.640 Rider is one of those things that makes me so irrationally angry. It 319 00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:11.880 makes me I can't stand the people in I can't do the people in Brooklyn 320 00:24:12.039 --> 00:24:15.920 with Berna Doodles anymore. I just can't do it. It's like they are. 321 00:24:17.039 --> 00:24:22.359 They have an instruction manual. It's an ll bean bullshit instruction manual. 322 00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:25.599 And I just want people to live their own lives. You know what I 323 00:24:25.640 --> 00:24:29.720 mean? Because that was planted in your head from somewhere. You know you 324 00:24:29.759 --> 00:24:33.599 can't name that dog Rider? Well, I think actually there's something even more 325 00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:37.240 childish about it. My daughter, who's three and a half, our favorite 326 00:24:37.240 --> 00:24:40.920 show is a show called Paw Patrol. The number one dog that saves the 327 00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:44.319 world is a dog named Rider. I think Kyle's a big fan of Paw 328 00:24:44.359 --> 00:24:47.640 Patrol. It would make sense that tracks that would be his favorite show. 329 00:24:48.160 --> 00:24:56.519 These dogs are crazy. Send it, Manna Ruby. Can you can you 330 00:24:56.559 --> 00:25:03.799 speak on the bespoke breeder called Sure again? Just to be safe, I 331 00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:07.680 think I have to say no here, okay, great, so is to 332 00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:19.680 not alienate so okay, so slip some fucking king let's call a Rider. 333 00:25:21.079 --> 00:25:26.359 So uh. Danielle is doing a little self inventory. She didn't do anything 334 00:25:26.359 --> 00:25:33.839 wrong, she was just defeated. And she this is the second or third 335 00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:37.240 or fourth or fifteenth time that she's done this where she wakes up the next 336 00:25:37.240 --> 00:25:48.440 morning having absolutely massacred everybody's vibe and just goes that great, who what hey? 337 00:25:48.039 --> 00:25:52.000 Who wants a burrito? Because I'm starving, you know, And it's 338 00:25:52.039 --> 00:25:57.519 like, hang on a second, you turned into a sea dwelling witch last 339 00:25:57.599 --> 00:26:02.680 night. Why are we just going to pretend like that didn't happen. But 340 00:26:03.039 --> 00:26:06.839 everybody's waisted, they're too tired. How about that half hearted apology to Batman? 341 00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:08.359 She says, Hey, I'm sorry, bro, that's that surfer thing. 342 00:26:08.759 --> 00:26:12.960 Yeah, but who opens mail at a party? I was sinking, 343 00:26:14.119 --> 00:26:15.920 take it easy, turtle wax, My god, I was thinking. The 344 00:26:17.079 --> 00:26:19.799 order of words that that was constructed has never been said on the planet Earth. 345 00:26:19.880 --> 00:26:23.960 What's up? I'm sorry, bro? But who opens mail at a 346 00:26:23.960 --> 00:26:27.039 party? Right? Right? I don't think that's that's the only time that's 347 00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:32.039 been said before. Yeah, it's it's an arbitrary criticism to have with somebody, 348 00:26:32.079 --> 00:26:34.920 fair enough, Yeah, you know it is. Yeah, Ribby, 349 00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:41.839 please speak on the bespoke dog breeding culture we have right now, again, 350 00:26:41.920 --> 00:26:45.160 so many people like are so connected to their parents' dogs. It's not even 351 00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:48.759 their call. And I don't want to make those people feel like they should 352 00:26:48.839 --> 00:26:53.480 kill themselves, right right, right, Yeah, totally. So Alex is 353 00:26:53.519 --> 00:26:56.839 missing his tom and he has decided that he is going to deflect for the 354 00:26:56.839 --> 00:26:59.920 rest of the day, and then we get to the plans for the road 355 00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:04.839 ceremony in the moon Bikes. Now, Danielle says this is another thing which 356 00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:11.200 is just a poisonous aspect to her character. She says that things might go 357 00:27:11.240 --> 00:27:15.240 a little weird. She hasn't told Sam that Casey called her a piece of 358 00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:21.960 trash, which is that kind of thing that Danielle is is so the Kyle 359 00:27:22.079 --> 00:27:26.720 Richards, so the one that will sit on top of a grenade and then 360 00:27:26.880 --> 00:27:32.279 just pull the pin right when the tallies are all you know. So I 361 00:27:32.319 --> 00:27:36.640 was almost certain that she was going to throw that out at the roast ceremony. 362 00:27:36.799 --> 00:27:41.000 She didn't. She delivered one of the most bizarre It wasn't quite as 363 00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:45.319 sad as her saying that I haven't seen the part of me that needs men 364 00:27:45.400 --> 00:27:48.519 to gratify myself in a while, and I missed that girl. It wasn't 365 00:27:48.559 --> 00:27:52.400 quite that sad, but it was sad. We'll get there now, Dylan. 366 00:27:52.400 --> 00:27:55.920 It's worth pointing out Danielle has not didn't say it during the roast, 367 00:27:55.920 --> 00:27:59.279 but it still is an important piece of information that could be used at a 368 00:27:59.359 --> 00:28:06.160 later date on her right. So Sam arrives our little bumblebee herself. I 369 00:28:08.920 --> 00:28:17.039 that's how they greeted each other, the only way that they could. I 370 00:28:17.240 --> 00:28:25.400 don't know, m okay. I don't hate Sam because I don't care about 371 00:28:25.440 --> 00:28:30.880 Sam. But in the world where we're talking about people that we don't care 372 00:28:30.920 --> 00:28:34.359 about, God, do I hate Sam? Well? I all right, 373 00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:38.039 if we're talking about the Winter, can't say. If we're talking about the 374 00:28:38.039 --> 00:28:41.640 Winter her house world, then it's got to be the girl that owns the 375 00:28:41.680 --> 00:28:45.200 flower shop. Oh no, she's great. Oh okay, I disagree. 376 00:28:45.359 --> 00:28:48.960 Yeah, Sam belongs here. She's played the game, she said to have 377 00:28:49.039 --> 00:28:55.319 her non boyfriend that she's not kind of dating be on a television show, 378 00:28:55.440 --> 00:28:59.039 awaiting anxiously like what the fuck is this guy up to? He's gonna make 379 00:28:59.039 --> 00:29:02.200 me look like a complete eddiot. Well, unfortunately those things are not coursing 380 00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:04.200 through her brain at all. She was waiting by the phone, and when 381 00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:08.079 the call came. She came quickly in a shirt that said Corey's Ruby. 382 00:29:10.640 --> 00:29:14.079 Yeah. So I have a lot of things to say. One and I'm 383 00:29:14.119 --> 00:29:21.400 saying this. I know that I look like a Berkeley pottery teacher ninety eight 384 00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:25.599 percent of the time, and that's my choice. With less collar, she 385 00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:33.279 with less color. Yes, what she arrived in was not acceptable for a 386 00:29:33.319 --> 00:29:41.400 plane outfit of almost five hours. And also everyone in the house just looked 387 00:29:41.440 --> 00:29:49.960 like such ass and she looked so she looked so done it made me annoyed. 388 00:29:51.599 --> 00:29:55.599 And Corey saying you look hot, and Kyle saying you look like a 389 00:29:55.640 --> 00:29:59.759 bumblebee and the girl saying you look fresh was the best way we could have 390 00:29:59.759 --> 00:30:03.200 done it right. And of course Corey says you look hot and rubs. 391 00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:08.720 I want you to take the limitter off because I know that you have daggers 392 00:30:10.079 --> 00:30:14.400 and they're sheathed right now. And I understand that you don't want to alienate 393 00:30:14.480 --> 00:30:18.920 and you're doing your you know your anime rice heating face right now. You 394 00:30:18.920 --> 00:30:22.440 know where the teeth rill big and stuff. But I do want you to 395 00:30:23.200 --> 00:30:26.799 just be here with us. Okay. I know it's a little scary, 396 00:30:26.920 --> 00:30:30.960 but Sam is in love with Corey, and if a person is in love 397 00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:34.839 with Corey, then we can we can make fun of them. It's a 398 00:30:34.880 --> 00:30:41.279 little bit like it would be wrong to do an impression of r FK going. 399 00:30:41.640 --> 00:30:48.319 The FDA has been a captured agency for years. But when he runs 400 00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:52.640 for president, then you it's open It's open season, you know, so 401 00:30:52.319 --> 00:30:56.519 you know, just just we We're here for you, is what I'm trying 402 00:30:56.559 --> 00:31:03.119 to say. Uh So he's jumping up and down, and we head to 403 00:31:03.160 --> 00:31:07.599 the room to chat with Sam and Corey. And this is when I'm at 404 00:31:07.640 --> 00:31:12.680 an eleven with these two goblins. I absolutely I already despised them, but 405 00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:18.599 then we get to this conversation. I couldn't believe what came out of his 406 00:31:18.720 --> 00:31:23.720 mouth. I've enjoyed letting certain people that I dated in my past know that 407 00:31:23.799 --> 00:31:29.880 I was I was suitable. Yeah, or what saw it after? He 408 00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:33.119 Dylan, you probably will explain this better than me, but or do more 409 00:31:33.319 --> 00:31:37.440 justice. But this douchebag really douches it up here. And let me be 410 00:31:37.640 --> 00:31:45.200 clear, I don't like Sam. I want Corey to go to Abu Gray 411 00:31:45.319 --> 00:31:52.240 for a while. So let's not get it twisted. There is sarn and 412 00:31:52.279 --> 00:31:59.039 there's salamon. Okay, one is worse than the other. So speaking of 413 00:32:00.039 --> 00:32:06.559 fucking orcs, let's talk about these two. Corey when she is straddling him, 414 00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:09.359 because that is their dumb, dumb language. They only speak sex because 415 00:32:09.440 --> 00:32:16.799 they are they are shallow worth creatures. They're they're mud crabs. Yeah, 416 00:32:16.839 --> 00:32:24.000 he says, all the girls wanted to fuck me. She says, I'm 417 00:32:24.039 --> 00:32:28.640 sure they did, because that is the capital that she cares about. That's 418 00:32:28.680 --> 00:32:30.880 what gets her off, that's what makes her fall more in love with Corey 419 00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:37.640 because she is with a hot guy and that's cool to her. He says, 420 00:32:37.880 --> 00:32:45.759 I was I told all those bitches that I'm dating somebody and amoo. 421 00:32:46.559 --> 00:32:52.599 So this is this is what's confusing to me about Corey, and I hope 422 00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:57.319 that in the reunion he finally get because Corey has been allowed to come on 423 00:32:57.359 --> 00:33:02.119 Summerhouse in Winterhouse and just be this kind of cors light shotgunning and can smashing. 424 00:33:04.559 --> 00:33:06.759 I wanted to say it, I'm not going to say it. I'm 425 00:33:06.799 --> 00:33:10.359 not going to say the word. He also is basically the same version that 426 00:33:10.440 --> 00:33:14.720 Schwartz is trying to project, which is the og will occurs. I'm just 427 00:33:14.759 --> 00:33:16.880 a nice guy having fun. And you know, I'm not out to hurt 428 00:33:16.880 --> 00:33:21.359 anybody. I'm not here for anything serious. Yeah, but you are hurting 429 00:33:21.400 --> 00:33:23.039 people, yeah, laying waste of people. He is emotion. He is 430 00:33:23.079 --> 00:33:29.160 a hyena. He is not a lion. He is a fucking cackling dog. 431 00:33:29.640 --> 00:33:31.599 So right, and also, just like Schwartz, we must keep in 432 00:33:31.599 --> 00:33:37.240 mind, was a cackling dog hyena to his wife of and of girlfriend and 433 00:33:37.279 --> 00:33:39.319 everyone else that he cheated on, fucked and lied to and everything. So 434 00:33:39.720 --> 00:33:43.920 so lest we not forget that the g Willickers doesn't work on us, because 435 00:33:44.000 --> 00:33:47.000 much like Ramona Singer needs to be reminded of often, we have it on 436 00:33:47.160 --> 00:33:50.960 camera, right right, right right. I don't know what you're talking about. 437 00:33:51.119 --> 00:33:53.359 I don't know what you're talking about. I do not remember that Ramona 438 00:33:53.799 --> 00:33:58.559 you asked why they all had to be black for Black Shabbat. I just 439 00:33:58.599 --> 00:34:02.000 it was a question. I don't I don't think I I might have anyways, 440 00:34:02.200 --> 00:34:06.640 So the next thing you know, her pants are off and they're a 441 00:34:06.720 --> 00:34:10.840 spit everywhere, you know, I mean, it is amazing how quick her 442 00:34:10.840 --> 00:34:15.360 pants were off. Cool stuff, young kids. So Tom heads back, 443 00:34:16.119 --> 00:34:22.039 Well, the legend dude when he showed up at that house. That greeting, 444 00:34:22.039 --> 00:34:23.480 you would have thought Oprah was giving away some of those fucking cars. 445 00:34:23.519 --> 00:34:28.599 Man. People lost their mind. Alex said, I'm shaking right now. 446 00:34:29.199 --> 00:34:35.320 Yeah, fucking that. The welcome that he got compared to the welcome that 447 00:34:35.360 --> 00:34:39.079 Sam got was Adam Sandler ruining the surprise in the beginning of Big Dad. 448 00:34:39.280 --> 00:34:45.079 Sure, yeah, but Sam is not a legend. No, Tom is 449 00:34:45.119 --> 00:34:50.639 a legend. He's savoring every moment of this where he is not living across 450 00:34:50.679 --> 00:34:54.400 the street from a Wiener stencil and he makes a misstep. He calls Katie 451 00:34:54.679 --> 00:35:00.880 Floody and you can tell she's she's injury and you're high again, and she's 452 00:35:01.239 --> 00:35:05.800 just wondering what's going to happen. So let's get to the moon bikes. 453 00:35:05.960 --> 00:35:10.880 Okay, Corey is wrestling and fifth grade boy flirting with Malia, So naturally 454 00:35:10.920 --> 00:35:15.440 Sam is going to go after Malia. More on that at five, because 455 00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:21.760 while I did think when we were teased that Sam was going to attack Malia, 456 00:35:21.960 --> 00:35:23.719 I thought, of course, Sam is going to be an idiot and 457 00:35:23.920 --> 00:35:28.440 not take umbrage with Corey but rather go after Malia. And after this episode, 458 00:35:28.559 --> 00:35:32.079 I do back Sam a little bit more with going after Malia, I 459 00:35:32.119 --> 00:35:36.320 said a little bit more, not completely. Don't give me that eyebrow. 460 00:35:36.440 --> 00:35:38.599 Don't you give me that eyebrow? Rube. Okay, well I let him 461 00:35:38.639 --> 00:35:43.360 know why you disagree, Rubs, because this and this is a big issue 462 00:35:43.360 --> 00:35:47.800 that I take with anybody. And forgive me. Sheaths are off. Adopt, 463 00:35:49.000 --> 00:35:52.519 don't shop unless you can't control it. And your parents bought the dog 464 00:35:52.559 --> 00:35:54.159 and if you do choose to do it, you're a monster and fucking fuck 465 00:35:54.239 --> 00:35:58.280 you. That being said, still listen and everything, And that's just my 466 00:35:58.320 --> 00:36:04.079 opinion. It doesn't matter, right. Why I disagree is because Malia is 467 00:36:04.119 --> 00:36:08.239 a stranger sea rat on a show who has never met this person she owes 468 00:36:08.280 --> 00:36:16.039 her not arguably fundamentally nothing, the person that she's not dating for eight months 469 00:36:16.039 --> 00:36:20.960 that she somehow loves, that's the person that she should be upset with for 470 00:36:21.079 --> 00:36:24.679 not making it clear that it actually isn't okay to be humped in the snow 471 00:36:25.119 --> 00:36:30.079 repeatedly or get in my bed repeatedly. That's not Malia's job to say, 472 00:36:30.280 --> 00:36:35.719 Oopsie, popsy, that's not allowed. But that's your you're not boyfriend's job. 473 00:36:35.840 --> 00:36:39.639 And I one hundred percent agree with you. Adopt, don't shop, 474 00:36:40.280 --> 00:36:45.239 but also maybe sometimes shop because you just never know what you're gonna get, 475 00:36:45.320 --> 00:36:47.039 you know what I mean? I want to I say that I really do. 476 00:36:47.079 --> 00:36:50.480 I don't want anyone to kill themselves, and I do think that there 477 00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:53.559 are acsenuating circumstances. And we have two dogs that we rescued and they're fucking 478 00:36:53.639 --> 00:36:58.280 insufferable. So you know that's what we got. Hey, can I share 479 00:36:58.280 --> 00:37:01.280 a thirty second personal story? Actually have experienced this? Get this. I'm 480 00:37:01.320 --> 00:37:05.280 dating my wife. We were dating for about five months. It's right around 481 00:37:05.320 --> 00:37:07.519 Christmas time, ten years ago, and we show up to a Christmas party. 482 00:37:07.559 --> 00:37:13.440 I recognize my friend Ostrander. We have a brother sister relationship. Somehow 483 00:37:13.480 --> 00:37:15.719 I end up picking her up and flipping her up on. It's something that 484 00:37:15.719 --> 00:37:19.960 we would do because we, you know, have been friends for fifteen years. 485 00:37:20.320 --> 00:37:22.119 My girlfriend, who's my wife, sees this, doesn't say anything. 486 00:37:22.119 --> 00:37:27.880 At the Christmas party, we drive back home, she lets me have it. 487 00:37:28.159 --> 00:37:30.800 She didn't go after my friend Ostrander. She told me she was pissed 488 00:37:30.800 --> 00:37:34.440 at me and she didn't want to see that again. Yeah, good for 489 00:37:34.519 --> 00:37:37.239 her, but listen, I completely agree that that she should be going after 490 00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:39.400 Corey. I mean we said it the whole episode. I don't know how 491 00:37:39.400 --> 00:37:44.360 the g Whillaker stuff is flying. It's fine because Sam is stupid well and 492 00:37:44.400 --> 00:37:50.480 you're good looking, getaway or yeah, digmatized. But when Malia is as 493 00:37:50.679 --> 00:37:55.639 active in the flirting as she is directly in front of Sam and knows exactly 494 00:37:55.679 --> 00:38:00.199 what she's doing, Malia traffics in the same kind of gas lighty behavior where 495 00:38:00.320 --> 00:38:06.400 she's like, nothing's going on. Okay, it's still inappropriate and I don't 496 00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:10.400 fucking like it at all, so please stop. But more on that. 497 00:38:10.440 --> 00:38:19.639 At five, Tom Schwartz sits down on the inner tube and it pops, 498 00:38:20.199 --> 00:38:24.920 And that's just one of those moments where if you've gained a little bit of 499 00:38:24.960 --> 00:38:30.039 weight, you know your mind immediately goes to that place, right And who 500 00:38:30.079 --> 00:38:35.920 knows? It probably is the Jilipenio poppers, because when you smell them, 501 00:38:35.960 --> 00:38:40.000 you can't not walk across the street in your sweatpants and flip flops. One 502 00:38:40.039 --> 00:38:44.760 sweatpant is high up on the knee, the other is down to the floor. 503 00:38:44.800 --> 00:38:47.800 He is a mess. So it probably is those Jilipino poppers. But 504 00:38:51.320 --> 00:38:54.199 I do feel a little bit bad for chubby Tom because he was just like, 505 00:38:54.519 --> 00:38:57.559 does that mean I'm getting fat? I mean it kind of does. 506 00:38:57.639 --> 00:39:01.480 Yeah, it's sad. Can I do it? Meanwhile, Tuesday, same 507 00:39:01.559 --> 00:39:07.119 day, three point fifty four pm, Swartz has been avoiding floods all day 508 00:39:07.719 --> 00:39:12.840 and he makes a joke because he can't force the Swarts. Is that his 509 00:39:12.920 --> 00:39:22.320 joke? That was wow? Yikes? Yeah? Yeah. So we wrap 510 00:39:22.400 --> 00:39:25.400 up with the moonbike time. Tom is telling Alex to do stuff, and 511 00:39:25.559 --> 00:39:29.719 Alex is telling Tom to do stuff and who cares. But we get back 512 00:39:29.760 --> 00:39:31.639 to the house, Sam, Danielle, and Amanda have a chat. The 513 00:39:31.679 --> 00:39:37.719 irony of Sam saying that she is not insecure is not lost on anybody, 514 00:39:37.800 --> 00:39:43.199 and the fact that she is on the step beneath Amanda and Danielle made it 515 00:39:43.400 --> 00:39:49.480 so much more hilarious because she looks like she is from Whoville talking about how 516 00:39:49.679 --> 00:39:54.840 she is not insecure at all, screaming about it. Was she on a 517 00:39:54.880 --> 00:40:00.000 step lower than them? Okay, yeah, that was very odd. Yeah, 518 00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:04.079 force perspective, Yes, yes, it was like the Gandolf and Bilbo. 519 00:40:04.920 --> 00:40:10.559 Yeah, and that is exactly what it was. Right, So we 520 00:40:10.559 --> 00:40:16.760 refer to this blind this blind tip. This is the reality TV ecosystem? 521 00:40:16.920 --> 00:40:21.840 Is this the back channeling that Danielle does to Malia giving her the four to 522 00:40:21.920 --> 00:40:23.320 one one to dial it back a little bit. Is that your what you 523 00:40:23.320 --> 00:40:28.599 were? I know, the the what are they called blind items? Yeah, 524 00:40:28.639 --> 00:40:30.559 there was something on the social media that was shared that, you know, 525 00:40:30.679 --> 00:40:37.719 Malia and Corey responded being flirt So I just loved how they refer to 526 00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:42.280 it as the blind And then we get to the roast, and I don't 527 00:40:42.320 --> 00:40:47.079 mean the roast like the Friars Club, I mean the beef. Uh. 528 00:40:47.760 --> 00:40:59.800 Casey is calling her mom in a just a fucking love actually kind of serendipity. 529 00:41:00.079 --> 00:41:05.039 I mean, this is completely out of a romantic comedy. Two different 530 00:41:05.079 --> 00:41:08.320 scenes. One person's calling their mom to learn how to make curry. The 531 00:41:08.360 --> 00:41:12.440 other is calling their mom to learn how to make a roast. These two 532 00:41:12.559 --> 00:41:15.360 should be together, and that is why we all ship them. I mean 533 00:41:15.480 --> 00:41:22.119 I ship them so hard. I love Casey and Batman together. It's just 534 00:41:22.199 --> 00:41:28.880 perfect. Totally agree with you. So Alex and Danielle sit down and this 535 00:41:29.000 --> 00:41:34.159 is this is the you know, this is the treaty that we you know, 536 00:41:34.280 --> 00:41:36.760 all the leaders have to get together and we got to figure this out. 537 00:41:36.840 --> 00:41:44.280 Right, Alex says, you are a dementor and you scare me and 538 00:41:44.440 --> 00:41:50.159 she says something like fuck you bitch or something like that. Look, that's 539 00:41:50.760 --> 00:41:53.000 the overall like that, That's how I describe it. But I have the 540 00:41:53.039 --> 00:41:57.000 game film here if you'd like to hear it. She stays she's cool to 541 00:41:57.000 --> 00:42:00.679 be friends with benefits. He says uh, And then he says he's not 542 00:42:00.719 --> 00:42:04.559 going to try and teach her or anything because she's old or something. Yeah, 543 00:42:04.599 --> 00:42:07.840 And that was to let her know that she's ten years old than him. 544 00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:09.960 Yeah. And then if he bangs her, she needs to leave him 545 00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:13.440 alone because he's probably going to want to try and bang someone else the same 546 00:42:13.519 --> 00:42:15.119 day, you know. Yeah. And then it ends with him preferring the 547 00:42:15.199 --> 00:42:20.840 road of friends without benefits, to which she says riveting, gets up and 548 00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:23.880 storms off. Now this is the issue with Danielle. You know, there 549 00:42:23.880 --> 00:42:28.559 are these conversations that everybody says, oh, you should have that conversation with 550 00:42:28.599 --> 00:42:32.239 her. The problem is when the conversation is over, she's going to turn 551 00:42:32.239 --> 00:42:36.599 into the M eight again. She's going to start drinking, and then the 552 00:42:36.639 --> 00:42:38.360 fuse is going to get lit, and then everybody's just going to watch it 553 00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:43.440 trundle down towards the explosive and then it's going to eventually go off in everybody's 554 00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:50.159 fucking face. So she is a bank robber that you just cannot negotiate with. 555 00:42:50.280 --> 00:42:53.199 She's just going to kill everybody. That's it, right, And Amanda 556 00:42:53.719 --> 00:42:59.400 seeks refuge in her husband and says, listen, we're contractually bound. So 557 00:42:59.480 --> 00:43:05.480 you have to go fall on this blaming fucking sword upstairs covered in poison. 558 00:43:05.679 --> 00:43:07.440 Right, And by that, I mean you go talk to Danielle because her 559 00:43:07.440 --> 00:43:10.199 and Alex just had a conversation and yeah, I don't want to. Yeah, 560 00:43:10.239 --> 00:43:14.159 and Kyle doesn't do a good job. Really, he doesn't really get 561 00:43:14.199 --> 00:43:17.199 anywhere. Well he not only does he not get anywhere. He asks Danielle, 562 00:43:17.239 --> 00:43:21.440 do you think that him and Alex are going to hook up? And 563 00:43:21.480 --> 00:43:23.320 I believe she says, or sorry, him and Jordan are going to go. 564 00:43:23.559 --> 00:43:27.199 I think that she says she will burn them at the stake. She 565 00:43:27.320 --> 00:43:30.719 says, I would I would love if they hooked up, go for it, 566 00:43:31.320 --> 00:43:35.639 ellipses, and if they do, I will burn them at the stake, 567 00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:39.639 which is this kind of colloquialistic death that we know very well. But 568 00:43:39.840 --> 00:43:43.440 I mean, really think about the pain that you would have to go through. 569 00:43:43.480 --> 00:43:46.559 I made poor Joan of arc. My god, I mean just flames 570 00:43:46.599 --> 00:43:50.840 licking up at your shins first and then just taking over your entire body. 571 00:43:50.840 --> 00:43:54.039 I mean, I'll take drowning eat oh god, your base of your feet, 572 00:43:54.280 --> 00:43:58.159 Oh my god, Throw me in a knapsack and throw me in the 573 00:43:58.159 --> 00:44:00.880 Colorado River. I'll take drowning any day over that, my god. Oh 574 00:44:01.199 --> 00:44:05.239 no, no no, If you guys don't mind, I'd like to point 575 00:44:05.239 --> 00:44:07.480 out why I can't stand Swartz. We were talking about elemental def do you 576 00:44:07.480 --> 00:44:12.639 want to I understand. I just say how he covered it. All right, 577 00:44:12.880 --> 00:44:16.559 Alex heads into Swartz's or their shared room, and Swarts is there with 578 00:44:16.679 --> 00:44:22.519 his black socks on on a pillow, playing around on his iPhone. Yeah, 579 00:44:22.880 --> 00:44:27.119 okay, He's supposed to be on a TV show, right that, 580 00:44:27.159 --> 00:44:30.440 which means he's got to be like interacting with other people, you know, 581 00:44:30.599 --> 00:44:34.480 in the house. Real World, the TV show, which has not been 582 00:44:34.519 --> 00:44:40.360 on for about ten years. Real World famously, after the third season eliminated 583 00:44:40.440 --> 00:44:45.159 member iPhones didn't exist. Then they eliminated televisions from the house because a couple 584 00:44:45.280 --> 00:44:50.480 idiots would just sit around all day and watch TV. Nobody wants that. 585 00:44:51.280 --> 00:44:54.280 So you got to take the phones away. They can't even have their phones. 586 00:44:54.679 --> 00:44:57.920 You got to get Swartz out of that bedroom, and he's got to 587 00:44:57.960 --> 00:45:01.719 interact because as outside that door, there's a bunch of his fans trying to 588 00:45:01.719 --> 00:45:07.199 get his d in Floody's pe Can you imagine the shit fit that Pedge would 589 00:45:07.199 --> 00:45:12.039 throw if they were like, you can't have your phone this season. No, 590 00:45:12.400 --> 00:45:15.719 she wouldn't go. I'm an influencer. I'm so sad that I've lost 591 00:45:15.760 --> 00:45:21.280 so much love for Pedge. But anybody that is that infatuated with Greg, 592 00:45:21.320 --> 00:45:23.480 I just I can't do it. And I know she hates him. No, 593 00:45:24.119 --> 00:45:29.360 I think she loves Greg. I love Greg. I know everybody the 594 00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:31.679 only one that looks good. I just watched last night's episode. Everyone looks 595 00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:36.239 terrible. All the guys I'm talking about, they're all bloated. They're like, 596 00:45:36.559 --> 00:45:38.760 right, they're rounding that corner of looking like bloated, old, gray 597 00:45:38.800 --> 00:45:44.199 haired fat dude. Yeah, shep Rose is getting what the fuck is his 598 00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:47.440 and in four years he will be creepy. He is not going to be 599 00:45:47.800 --> 00:45:52.880 good enough at anything to want any twenty anything year old to fuck him. 600 00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:55.360 Right, and that's exactly, in my opinion, what he fucking deserves. 601 00:45:55.400 --> 00:45:59.280 I think he's a grotesque human being and that solid he looks like a dead 602 00:45:59.320 --> 00:46:01.719 body. Yeah, adopt on shop Ruby, who was the guy from the 603 00:46:01.760 --> 00:46:08.360 first season that had accusations of uh uh oh Thomas Thomas Rabbit. Shep is 604 00:46:08.480 --> 00:46:13.400 rounding that he's becoming right looking at the same as that dude. Yeah, 605 00:46:13.480 --> 00:46:15.639 and he's always say and I mean this and a not in like a bad 606 00:46:15.679 --> 00:46:20.800 way, in it really creepy, horrific way. Ten points for Shep shocking 607 00:46:20.960 --> 00:46:22.760 that no one has come out and said anything about him in the last however 608 00:46:22.800 --> 00:46:25.760 many years. Yeah, I know, I know, Yes, great job. 609 00:46:27.800 --> 00:46:30.280 Well, eventually they come home to roost. I mean, did he 610 00:46:30.320 --> 00:46:32.119 thought he could get away with it? Oh? Yes, Okay, so 611 00:46:32.280 --> 00:46:37.119 let's get to the roast. Speaking of the roast, it looks perfectly cooked 612 00:46:37.159 --> 00:46:42.840 on the inside and a wet gray crust on the outside. It's very difficult 613 00:46:42.880 --> 00:46:46.159 to achieve the kind of broil on the outside that you need for that to 614 00:46:46.199 --> 00:46:52.639 look aesthetically pleasing. While it was a rosy kind of undercooked and tough medium 615 00:46:52.760 --> 00:46:59.840 rare uh, the outside had a dead gray crust which was similar to shep, 616 00:47:00.159 --> 00:47:05.679 you know, it's just fetted and unseasoned, and nobody really wants that. 617 00:47:05.840 --> 00:47:09.119 But the Friars Club is what we need to get to. I mean, 618 00:47:09.239 --> 00:47:14.280 Rickles himself, the ghost of Rickles himself took over these youngsters. I 619 00:47:14.400 --> 00:47:19.719 disagree, Jeffrey Ross, they are not right. Well before that, Corey 620 00:47:19.840 --> 00:47:23.159 says, Casey says, can I get any any thing from inside? And 621 00:47:23.239 --> 00:47:30.760 Corey says, get a new personality and then says, with head on a 622 00:47:30.800 --> 00:47:34.320 swivel, kind of looking for appreciation and adoration. That was an old Grandma 623 00:47:34.440 --> 00:47:37.079 joke, but it was pretty funny. I don't know what to say other 624 00:47:37.199 --> 00:47:42.639 than rock em sock them. I want this guy to get rock em sock 625 00:47:42.679 --> 00:47:46.239 em just once, so well, not more than once. Also, Casey 626 00:47:46.320 --> 00:47:51.320 has the best personality. She literally put on fur to change her energy. 627 00:47:51.480 --> 00:47:54.440 Yep. She, you know, without a doubt, the best personality out 628 00:47:54.480 --> 00:47:58.519 of anybody on this show. So let's get to the roast. This is 629 00:47:58.559 --> 00:48:00.760 the best idea. This is the best theme night that we could have possibly 630 00:48:00.800 --> 00:48:05.280 had with that. It's messy, it's shady, it is it should be 631 00:48:05.280 --> 00:48:07.880 done every season. I agree, I say something it is there. I 632 00:48:07.960 --> 00:48:12.920 couldn't agree with you both more great idea. That being said, maybe next 633 00:48:13.000 --> 00:48:15.760 year we explain what a roast is, right, you know, yeah, 634 00:48:16.039 --> 00:48:21.599 yeah right, Well maybe not to the audience, but definitely to the people 635 00:48:21.719 --> 00:48:24.400 who are doing it, just so that they know what to do, because 636 00:48:24.440 --> 00:48:30.480 a lot of them didn't. Malia is the first person who misses the assignment 637 00:48:30.039 --> 00:48:37.480 and just does an all out, singular attack on Sam. There's a difference 638 00:48:37.519 --> 00:48:45.599 between roasting and then bullying via puns, and that's exactly what Malia did. 639 00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:49.719 She said, I know you've had a lot to wrestle, which was just 640 00:48:50.679 --> 00:48:53.960 mean. I mean, it was just Slytherin Welcome to Hogwarts. Mean. 641 00:48:55.199 --> 00:49:00.840 Then we get to the best roast of the night. Danielle's was the best 642 00:49:00.840 --> 00:49:07.559 but for yummy, cringey, vomit inducing yumminess. But Batman's was, without 643 00:49:07.559 --> 00:49:15.360 a doubt, the best of the night. He said that Corey's jewelry looks 644 00:49:15.440 --> 00:49:22.119 so cheap. He probably got it on the corner where he picked up Sam, 645 00:49:22.119 --> 00:49:28.000 calling her who. The fact that that little guy came out of the 646 00:49:28.039 --> 00:49:35.360 woodwork and delivered that out of pocket attack on the two of them was just 647 00:49:35.639 --> 00:49:40.159 insane. I mean, the guy has been completely destroyed by his parents. 648 00:49:40.199 --> 00:49:43.679 He does not know how to operate in the real world, and I love 649 00:49:43.760 --> 00:49:46.760 him for it. Yeah. Yeah. And then we get to Danielle rubs 650 00:49:46.800 --> 00:49:51.000 you want to take this? I don't. I can't. My hands are 651 00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:57.960 too sharp. Yeah. So Danielle says that Alex told me that he likes 652 00:49:58.039 --> 00:50:02.360 me and that we've been She says that me and Alex have been fucking and 653 00:50:04.599 --> 00:50:09.079 that he says now that they just want to be friends. And that is 654 00:50:09.119 --> 00:50:15.960 the biggest joke of this entire roast. Now, Kyle says, WHOA in 655 00:50:15.039 --> 00:50:20.000 his paw patrol kind of way. But the only thing, the only real 656 00:50:20.079 --> 00:50:23.920 appropriate response to that is for her to sit down and for everyone to be 657 00:50:24.079 --> 00:50:31.760 quiet and wonder how to get out of this silence, because that is the 658 00:50:31.760 --> 00:50:39.800 most awkward, nonsensical thing you could ever bring to this proceeding. She's absolutely 659 00:50:40.960 --> 00:50:46.559 losing it. She lost her mind. Mm. So post roast, we 660 00:50:46.679 --> 00:50:52.320 end with a chat between Sam and Maliah. Doesn't go well. Malia asks 661 00:50:52.400 --> 00:50:54.360 to speak with Sam. It seems like this is going to go pretty well, 662 00:50:54.400 --> 00:50:59.320 you know. Yeah, Malia and Sam Chad and Malia tell Sam she 663 00:50:59.400 --> 00:51:01.559 came in hot. Sam tells Malia the internet was telling her things, you 664 00:51:01.599 --> 00:51:06.800 know, that one of those blind things. And then Malia informs Sam that 665 00:51:06.920 --> 00:51:10.719 Corey said that he wasn't dating anyone. Yeah, and that's when the wheels 666 00:51:10.719 --> 00:51:15.199 come off. I don't think Malia likes Sam. I understand why Malia doesn't 667 00:51:15.239 --> 00:51:17.039 like Sam. Sam is not the same kind of girl as Malia. I 668 00:51:17.039 --> 00:51:22.000 don't think that Malia respects people like Sam. With that being said, I 669 00:51:22.039 --> 00:51:28.639 think that Malia was on a mission to destroy her. I don't think that 670 00:51:28.760 --> 00:51:34.519 it was in good faith. I think that Malia brought her aside to give 671 00:51:34.559 --> 00:51:37.599 her a nuggy and push her head underwater. And that's exactly what she did. 672 00:51:37.440 --> 00:51:42.480 You know, she's swirling her in the toilets in the men's bathroom. 673 00:51:42.800 --> 00:51:46.960 But I also do think that in that moment you see Sam, she's like, 674 00:51:47.360 --> 00:51:51.760 oh my god, right, good to know, okay. And I 675 00:51:51.840 --> 00:51:55.000 do think that Malia is doing it to be a bitch, but that isn't 676 00:51:55.039 --> 00:51:59.960 like her place of operating all the time. Like, again, your boy 677 00:52:00.079 --> 00:52:02.679 friend is the one who said I'm single and I want to fuck everybody and 678 00:52:02.760 --> 00:52:06.760 I don't have a girlfriend, and you've been posting pictures of him and you 679 00:52:06.840 --> 00:52:14.039 together, like she posts vlogs of them vlogs. That's that's. She wore 680 00:52:14.079 --> 00:52:16.719 a shirt with his name on it when she showed up, and he's tackling 681 00:52:16.760 --> 00:52:25.719 women in the sand. And not only that, he told her nine hours 682 00:52:25.760 --> 00:52:31.639 ago that he did the opposite of what Malia is saying right now. More 683 00:52:31.679 --> 00:52:35.519 on that at five. We'll see what happens next week. Jumping the iTunes 684 00:52:35.639 --> 00:52:37.199 rings, reviewsually five stars, kind words. Join us to patreon dot com, 685 00:52:37.239 --> 00:52:39.400 where you can donate a little, a little bit more. Follow Ruby 686 00:52:39.440 --> 00:52:45.199 Papaye doot Girl on TikTok and us everywhere on socials at bad TV podcast. 687 00:52:45.280 --> 00:52:47.000 We love you guys very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat Say goodbye 688 00:52:47.199 --> 00:52:52.480 bye, guys, bye bye. There's a lot of stuff on TV, 689 00:52:53.039 --> 00:53:10.760 all of it. It's good tracks, a lot of it and TV HM