Hi everyone, and welcome back to their podcast episode. My name is Alicia
Gogin, the host of the Globe Secrets podcast, where I help you expand
your mind and become more self awares so that you can glow up into the
best version of yourself. Hello, Happy Monday. If you are listening to
this on a Monday, I am so excited to be here. Okay,
you know why because I'm about to give you the best confidence tips that you
are going to bring into this summer. Okay, because what we are not
doing is wasting our potential this summer. We need to have a hot,
a confident and a healed girl summer. Okay, this is not just hot
girl summer. Listen. You know what I always think about when I think
about hot girl summer, I think about city girl summer, which is different.
Okay, hawt girl summer just means like, you're the it girl,
but you're not doing some crazy things. But I'm not going to judge if
you do some crazy things. But over here we are not gonna do crazy
things. We're going to do great things that help our confidence. So I
kind of wanted to make this episode essentially just like rules for Hot Girl summer,
things that you can think of, mindset shifts that you can make,
and maybe just an episode you can come back to if you really need a
little bit of a confidence boost. These are things that I currently live by,
will continue to live by, and I've also just picked these up over
the years that have really helped me not only learn to love myself, not
care so much about other people, not get so wrapped up in what other
people think about me, but also just go for my dreams and what I
want for you guys and even myself, because you guys know I'm on this
journey is I want you to be able to look back this summer and be
like I lived up to my full potential. I really did, x Y
and Z. I am proud of myself, and we kind of talked about
this a few episodes ago, but I feel like it's time to really go
a little bit deeper in the mindset shifts and work. So I'm going to
list out a few things that I think are really important to live by.
Like I said, this summer, I have a lot of quotes and a
lot of things, so who knows, we'll probably go on a million tangents.
We already know that I actually want to bring it back to something.
The other day, I was on TikTok and I saw a video. There
was like a radio show host and she was interviewing Bryson Tiller, which,
by the way, I went to go see him in concert a few weeks
ago. It was it was elite. I love concerts, especially like R
and B rappers or R and B singers, And she was asking him something
about were you proud of yourself in your twenties? Because I don't know how
old he is now. He's not in his twenties, but she was like,
are you proud of what you've accomplished? And I believe will not.
I believe his album Trapsol, which is probably what you know him from,
came out in his twenties. And he answered that question and he was like,
honestly, I'm really disappointed in myself. And she was kind of like
why, like what's going on. He's like, I feel like I wasted
about a solid sixty years of my twenties, really not backing myself. He
was saying how he just really let people get in his head about his album.
When he came out with that album, he got bad reviews there are
people saying that they were disappointed in the album, they're just you know,
there was backlash, as there is with everything, right, like everyone always
has opinions on things, and he let that really not allow him to fully
uplift that album and allow him to feel proud of himself. And it took
him a very, very long time before he could really look at that album
and say that's actually great. And it's crazy because so many of us look
at that album and were like, it is fire, Like there's literally not
one song that's not a banger. But he's just saying, like, I'm
disappointed because it took me so long, And he was saying, I just
wish that I knew my worth and my value before that album came out,
but unfortunately I didn't. Obviously that's a learning journey for him. But I
can even think about sometimes in my life where you know, I put out
something or I tried to do something from a place of not really having that
confidence within me, and it's no wonder I let other people's opinions really break
me down until I obviously had to work through that and I came out on
the other side because obviously that's what we do that's what I do. We
always do that, but we can save ourselves a lot of I don't know,
just bullshit And just like all of these limited beliefs that are not even
true about ourselves, if we really build that confidence within ourselves before going to
do something. And I think that's what I'm always working on. It's a
learning curve, a learning journey, but I think that's something I'm gonna be
focusing on this summer, and I hope you guys can too. Just like
thinking about, you know, a new project that you want to start,
or a new relationship that you want to get in, even if you're in
one right now or you're doing something right now, how great would that relationship
or how great that outcome be if you had a little bit more confidence within
yourself, if you back yourself more. And I feel like sometimes we're just
waiting for the end result to make us feel something, but that is not
how it's going to be. We can wait for the reviews, but what
if the reviews aren't good, What if the thing that we hoped to work
out didn't work out, We're gonna be one hundred percent more crushed than we
would if we had some sort of confidence within ourselves. And I feel like
we live in a world where there are so many opinions, there's so many
things changing and you know, moving and shaping our lives, that we have
to have some sort of resilience as we move through this world, especially if
we want the things that we want in our lives. And there's gonna be
a lot of tests, There's gonna be a lot of things that are thrown
at us and we cannot back down. And how we not back down is
obviously knowing our worth. And I think the first thing really is the rule
for someone. Number one is remembering who you are. And I feel like
there are so many things that make us not remember who we are, right
We forget who we are when we go through a breakup, We forget who
we are when things don't pan out a certain way. We forget the truth
of who we are when we go out in the world and somebody or something
triggers this old wound. Right. But I think that having a practice every
single day of reminding yourself of who you are, what you came here to
do, even if you don't fully know that yet, but just pouring into
yourself every single day is so crucial. This is even crucial on the days
that you are feeling on top of the world. I think I said this
in my previous vlog that I just posted on my YouTube channel, my main
channel. I was saying, we do a lot of journal work, we
do a lot of self development work. We do a lot of things when
we're feeling good, when we're motivated, which is great, But obviously even
on the times that we're not, we should be doing that journal that,
you know, therapy, whatever it is that's really going to help us thrive
and remember who we are. So I just think that this summer, if
you can cultivate a practice of remembering, it is so helpful, And there's
many things that can help you remember. Maybe it's you moving around certain people
that are really just a reflection of who you're trying to become or who you
want to keep remembering yourself to be. Maybe it's a journal practice, like
I said, Maybe it is listening to a certain podcasts but not listening to
others, or consuming this type of content but just putting that content over there.
Like whatever it is that you have to do to remember who you are,
you need to do it because if not the world will tell you who
you are. And I promise you I have gotten so caught up on that
in so many seasons of my life. And usually I get caught up on
that during the time times where I've fallen back on my practices even when I'm
feeling good, because sometimes you just follow off your practices when you're feeling good
as well, because you're like, oh, I don't need it, I
don't need my general practice. And listen, we don't have to be these
perfectionists and like every single day we have to, you know, always be
working on ourselves. But I really do think, especially if you don't have
that inner, if you don't have inner conversations that are very positive and you're
in your mind running on autopilot, it's very very good to have this saturation
process. So just thinking, if you're in a season of your life right
now where you've kind of forgot who the if you are, this is a
good time for you to have a journal practice morning night, getting in that
zone again. Okay, the next thing that I need you guys. And
when I say you guys, just know I'm putting myself in that category.
Oh ways, okay, but I'm talking to you guys today, I need
you guys to start falling madly in love with yourselves. Okay, this is
not going to be the summer where we wish we had that body, or
we wish that we were that girl over there. Oh I didn't hit my
goals, or maybe maybe it's going to be next summer or no, whatever,
insecurity you have, whatever thing you know you need to work on,
this is going to be the summer that you're going to do it, because
you are not going to waste another moment waiting and wasting your potential on the
person that you could be right now. Okay, And I want to read
this quote or not. Actually there's a few quotes that I want to read,
but it's not actually a quote. It should be really a quote,
but it's a comment that was left on one of my YouTube shorts, and
the YouTube short it like blew up. Okay, And a lot of people
don't understand that I was answering a question that somebody had asked. Somebody said,
what's your advice on what to do when you feel ugly around pretty girls?
And I like gave some advice and some people were loving the advice,
some people were hating it. Whatever, but there's some people who really shared
their experiences and one of them I literally screenshotted this and put it on my
stories because it was amazing. So I want to read out to you guys
because I think this will really help. It even helped me, and then
we will go from there. So she said, I have a friend that
is so physically perfect A low key used to make me insecure to go out
with her. I loved her, and I mad at her and was so
happy for her, but I definitely always felt I was the least attractive one.
She has the prettiest, longest curly hair, She has a few inches
taller than me, she has perfect skin, perfect teeth, perfect smile and
eyes, and hour glass figure that looked amazing and everything. Med would literally
stop her in her tracks everywhere we went and just try to talk to her,
and I would just awkwardly stand around. Lol. One day, a
couple of years ago, I admitted how I felt. I told her I
didn't think I was ugly, but she was just so beautiful that I felt
mentally small next to her. And her response was no effing way, because
I'm not gonna lie. I get jealous of you. You're so petite and
angelic looking. I wish I could pull off all the clothes you wear.
Your hair is so shiny and pretty, you have the prettiest shade of green
blue eyes, your perfect lips. All the guys or all my guy friends
think that you're beautiful, adorable, but also sexy, and then just rambled
off a list of her flaws and telling me why she thinks I'm way prettier
than she is. My point is that this was a turning point for me.
Everyone that I've ever been jealous of has probably felt the way that I
felt at one point in their life. Everybody has their insecurities, big or
small, but hardly anybody notices them, and it's usually just them dealing with
their own shit. I would have never looked at my friend as anything less
than perfect, but she didn't feel that way. I never used to look
at myself as perfect, but that's how she even saw me. Envy is
a devil. It sounds cliche, but I swear everyone is so beautiful in
their own way. If we all look the same, the world would be
so boring, which is so true if you think about it, like if
you're trying to be somebody that you're not, and you think that everyone want
to beat them too, Like we would all look the same and we would
be so bored, and we wouldn't want to look like that person. She
goes on to say, differences is what makes us unique. Learning to recognize
that someone else may be pretty, but so are you, and learning to
love every inch of yourself is a key to a lifelong state of confidence.
Which that's really just it. Like, my question almost comes to you guys
if you're struggling with this right now, is like when do you think it's
gonna be that you decide to accept yourself? Like, when is that going
to happen? Yes, you can change, and you can glow up,
and you can have a physical glow up, you can have a mental like
you can change. But aren't you tired of every single year, every summer,
every season just being like I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough,
I'm not good enough, and I know, I know the struggle even
Actually it's funny because the other day one of my followers screenshotted a little Pinterest
thing where somebody had said, like all the girlies who talk about glowing up
on YouTube, you should go follow them, and some of the girls in
the comments were like, oh my god, I love these YouTubers. I
was one of them, and one of the girls was like, I like
these guides, but I just wish that the people on these lists would be
girls who are not pretty and rich or whatever, or like have it easy.
And obviously she doesn't know my story. Yes, okay, a lot
of people might think that I'm pretty, but there were so many times in
my life where I literally hated myself. I hated every inch of myself.
I did not think that I was pretty at all. I struggled with health
issues, I really struggled with loving myself. I lived for the version of
me that I was not, and I would not live my life until I
became her, which was never a thing. And also I didn't grow up
rich. But what I learned on my journey was when I started to realize
that, like, it was just so time consuming and it took so much
energy to hate myself, and honestly, I'd rather just learn to accept the
things that I either can't change about myself or let me just learn on the
journey of changing. That not only freed me, but that was the key
to even glowing up and changing. Because when I accepted myself on a journey,
I was able to stay consistent with healthy habits. I was able to
get out in the world and build confidence by going out and you know,
just having conversations with people, and you know, dating around and making friends
and all those things build confidence. You showing up for yourself and even going
to the gym and taking care of yourself, self care, all those things,
of course they're going to allow you to glow up. But when you're
such a perfectionist and you're so hard on yourself, what do you do.
You go into a cycle, you do something for like three days, and
then you fall off and you go over and over. So obviously you're not
going to really have that glow up. So the way I became the version
of me that I really wanted was first accepting who I was and knowing it
into being that I could be that girl, and just loving myself through the
process. And oh my god, did my life ever get so much better?
And on top of that, everything change so quickly. I was like
working up a stream to try to get to my dream body, my I
don't know, a dream face, my dream hair, my dream life,
so much, and I was working so hard because the working so hard came
from hating myself in the process. And when I started to learn to love
myself on that process, it took no time at all for me to get
on healthy habits and whatever. But I was in those cycles for a long
time, and I talk about it in my book, The Ultimate Globe Guide
if you guys are new and if you want my book, it'll be linked
down below. So I just really want you to focus this summer on learning
to accept and this. You're not going to be perfect, And by the
way, learning to accept the things about you does not mean you can't change.
But I'm telling you, loving yourself through a process of glowing up will
be so much easier than you self hating through the whole entire thing. I
want you to focus on learning to fall madly in love with yourself. Okay,
the things that you have been nagging yourself about the way that your body
looks, the way that your hair is not yet, the way that your
bank account is not yet, the way that you haven't hate your goals,
whatever it is. I want you to fall madly in love with all of
the things that you have been so used to hating. I want you to
try it. If anything, just let this be an experiment. Try it
out for the summer, and then you can go back to hating yourself.
You will not do it, you trust me. I promise you you will
not. And in that process you will find you will absolutely flourish. And
I think a few tips when it comes to falling madly in love with yourself
is to recognize when you do checking behaviors in the form of checking to see
if people like you, or waiting for people to validate you. Like I
see a lot of people in comment sections. In real life. You know,
there's some friends. I have a lot of confident friends. And it's
no shade. I've said this even in last week's episode. I believe it's
no shade to the one who need that validation. I think that everyone needs
validation, you know, at some point in their lives. But at the
end of the day, if you really struggle with loving yourself, this is
going to be so important that you stop asking people if you're good enough.
If you keep asking people if you are good enough, you will be asking
until the day you die. Because this is a thing. Even if people
continue to validate you and say oh my god, you're amazing, Oh my
god, you're beautiful, Oh my god, this photo is great, or
that thing is great, or you should do this. D da da da
da. You will never learn how to do it yourself. So when these
people are avoid what's going to happen, You're gonna look in the mirror and
be like, oh my god, I'm nothing until I have these people tell
me that I'm something. You don't want to do that, you do not
want to be on this emotional rollercoaster in life, and I definitely was on
that in my life, you know, just relying on external validation, either
you know, like social media or men or whatever. So you know,
it comes a point where you just have to decide you are good enough,
Decide that photo looks good, Decide you don't need to edit it, Decide
that you're gonna go for your dreams even if nobody validates you. Decide that
you're gonna, you know, be successful, even if nobody's supporting you,
or nobody's texting you and being like, oh my god, that's great,
or nobody's liking your shit. Who cares? You have to be the one
to decide that you are good enough, I promise you. It is the
single best thing that you could do in your entire life is to decide that
you are good enough. And what happens when you decide that you are good
enough, you will see you or reflected in your life. Doesn't happen the
other way around. And even if it happens the other way around, because
you know, maybe there are people who say, oh, you're great,
this that you're not gonna believe it, You're probably something that doesn't believe it.
I know many people who I have validated through many years of my life
who still to this day can't validate themselves and they don't actually fully believe it
deep down to their core. And when I recognize that I was doing that,
when I realized, even when people validate me, I still I feel
good for a second, and then it goes away, I realize no more.
I don't want that. I want to be the source of my own
happiness, and everything else is a cherry on top. You like my photo,
great, but guess what, I already like it, so I'm good.
I didn't need you to like that photo. I didn't need you to
tell me that I'm great because I have decided that I am great. Let
me read a quote from Pinterest when it comes to your intuition, and I
think that this really correlates with deciding that you're good enough and then we'll move
on to the next one. So it says, if you have a feeling
that's telling you to do something, but you're seeking a sign outside of you
to confirm this intuitive feeling, the intuitive feeling is the sign. You're not
looking for a sign, you're looking for courage to follow your intuition. That's
really like when I read that, I was like, no, honestly,
like, that's true. When you're looking for a sign, you already have
that intuitive hit and now you're gonna go out and you're gonna look and see
if somebody is going to know decide that your intuition or that feeling is correct.
And the way that you do that, the way that you trust yourself,
is first by understanding that wherever your intuition is leading wherever you go in
your life, you're gonna be fine. I think the reason why sometimes we're
so afraid to follow that intuition is because, well, what if that results
in disappointment or something not really working out? The issue that you're having is
you have not learned how to be with yourself and that emotion, that feeling.
You don't know how to be comfortable with disappointment if it happens. You
don't know how to be comfortable with that fear or that scarcity, or what
am I going to do? So get good at Yes, sometimes being disappointed
and understanding that is a part of life. It doesn't need to be you
don't need to firm it into your life. But yes, there's disappointing things
in life. Are you going to be okay? Yes you are. Maybe
there's a part of you, that young part of you that don't feel like
you're going to be okay. Why because you probably didn't learn how to be
with that emotion. Maybe there wasn't somebody that was there with you or taught
you how to be with that disappointment, or it happens so frequently that you're
just protecting yourself. But the best thing that I did for myself was learn
how to not be afraid of these lower negative emotions and understand that's just a
normal part of the human experience and hold yourself in that emotion when it does
come, it's going to come. Inevitably is going to come. The question
is really not like how do I avoid the emotion? The question is more
how do I support myself and hold myself as I'm feeling this deep emotion which
you never learned how to do. So don't try to move through life with
walls up trying to never experience that thing. Trust me, your lesson will
end up being you having to go through that or experience that emotion. That's
what you'll end up finding in your life. So you might as well just
not be so afraid. I know it's easier said than done, but when
I find that I am doing behaviors to avoid that feeling, I actually dive
deeper in that feeling. And what I do when it comes to diving deeper
in that feeling is I'm actually just standing with my inner child that's afraid to
feel that emotion, because that's really what it is. It's your young child
part that maybe didn't have somebody hold her hand through that feeling of you know,
loss or grief or sadness or scared, I don't know what to do,
da da, And you're becoming that adult self with your inner child in
that moment and being like We've got this. You know this. If this
goes astray, this doesn't go the way we really want it is, oh
okay, I am going to be there for you. I am here with
you. That is the best thing that you could do for yourself. Bringing
it back to trusting your intuition, I do find when you stop fearing those
lower emotions, negative emotions, if you will, or that experience of what
maybe won't pan out. I tend to find, at least with me,
I have way more confidence in trusting that intuition because I'm like, I'm gonna
be good either way. My intuition is not going to lead me astray because
I'm gonna be fine. And I think that that's how you really build a
lot of confidence in your life, is not looking outside of you with a
sign of like, oh you should do this or that. No, you're
going to be led right back to yourself, so you might as well learn
that lesson now. The next thing that we are going to be doing this
summer is not waiting for life to just happen and instead decide what gets to
happen in your life and declare it and say no to everything and anything that
is not in alignment to what it is that you're wanting in your life.
This is not going to be the summer that we're being passive, okay,
And are there seasons of our lives where we are kind of passive because we
don't really know, you know, where to go, We don't really maybe
trust ourselves in yes, yes, it's yes, it's yes. But this
is not going to be it. Okay, this is not going to be
this summer. If you want your dream life, if you want the life
on your painterest board, or you see someone else over there who has this
life, or you're listening to a podcast and you're being motive, I need
you to declare it. I need you to know it into being, I
need you to go exactly right to it. And that's it. There's got
to be a point where you realize, like, the only way you're going
to get this dream life or the things that you want in your life is
going to be up to you and your actions, really aligned actions. So
this is the summer, at least for me. I'll kind of give you
some examples. I've been talking about this a lot in my podcast actually and
even on my vlog channel. This is another thing that I'm doing this summer
is like, I don't want to look back and be like, oh,
I should have done more. I could have done more, I could have
you know, worked more in a way. So what I have been doing
is getting very clear on what I want my life to look like in the
next five to ten years. Listen, there's always room to move around.
I'm a very flexible, cyclical being. But for the most part, I
know what I want. Okay, we know what we freaking want in our
lives, in our dream life essentially. So I'm getting very clear on what
it is that i want my life to look like. I'm getting clear on
my goals. I'm getting clear on my business. I'm getting so incredibly clear
with my vision, and I am hyper focusing on that. I'm not obsessing
because I'm going to talk about attachment and letting things be what they need to
be. But I'm getting very clear and real with myself about what I want
in my life. And I am going tunnel vision in that direction, and
I am going D and D mode, and I am committing to this life
and I'm declaring it and I am knowing it into being until it becomes when
it comes to manifestation. And if you don't really believe in manifestation or this
that whatever, you're manifesting everything all the time. When you hit goals,
you're manifesting. Okay, So we don't need to like make this like this
big thing if we don't want you. But at the end of the day,
when you are wanting something to be a reality for you, aka your
dream life, whatever your goals are, your current reality right now is it's
not normalized in your current reality, is what I should say. So if
you want, let's say, to become a YouTuber or a podcaster of a
certain caliber, you're gonna need to drive that home and have tunnel vision in
that, you know, like mirror whatever that goal until it becomes normalized.
But what we do is we go in our journals and we're like I want
to be a YouTuber, and like I want a dream relationship, and like
I want these things, and we like write it for like a few days,
and then we go about our day, going right back to the old
version of us. Do not let up until it becomes normalized. Now,
I think people get kind of annoyed with this and feel tired when this happens
sometimes, and I get it, like hitting your goals or manifesting. Sometimes
it takes some work, is because it feels like it's never ending. It
feels like a lot of work to change your mindset around something or continue to
show up. But understand, you're not always going to need to show up
in that capacity. You'll have to change and you'll have to adapt, and
you'll have new seasons of life where you got to do new things. But
you're just showing up and you're having tunnel vision on that goal until it becomes
normalized in your life where when you wake up, that's the version of you
automatically playing in your mind where you don't have to deter your mindset back to
like positive thoughts because it's already automatic. Okay, Like that's really what happens
when it comes to even how to love yourself, how to have confidence within
yourself. Everyone's always asking me about that, always asking me, how do
you have confidence? How do you trust yourself? How do you speak to
yourself kindly? My affirmations aren't working. You have one hundred million thousand thoughts
a day that you run autopilot on. And if you're just going to do
a journal practice for ten minutes in the morning. I am lovable, I
am amazing, I'm grateful for everything that I have. I'm changing my life,
money is coming to me. Whatever the affirmations are, and you're expecting
those to be your reality, your your automatic thoughts from ten minutes of work,
But you're going right back to the old version of you the entire day.
Do not really really come on, listen, we gotta do better.
We have to commit, and we have to commit to saturating our minds essentially.
And I talk about saturating your mind a lot. This is what I
have been doing for years, is what I always do. It's what I
continue to do, especially when I want something in my life. But even
if I'm like running on autopilot, there's things that I listen to. There's
things and habits that I do. There's ways that I speak to myself that
are this base level of where I want to feel and be in my life.
So like, I'm not consuming content that's gonna make me second guess myself.
I'm not having conversations with people where I'm second guessing myself. I'm not
doing behaviors over and over and over and over again that are not aligned to
the version of me that I want. I'm just I'm not really doing that.
And if I want to manifest something that's even bigger than where I'm at
right now, I know it's going to take a level of effort. It's
going to take a level of me showing up every single day until that becomes
an automatic thought of yes I'm this big YouTuber or yes I'm this whatever.
When I grew on YouTube, I didn't stop until I became a YouTuber.
I really became a YouTuber in my maa before that even happened, Like I
already declared it. It was already done. It was about seeing that become
normalized in my three D reality. So when you're trying to hit goals,
think about saturation, think about really driving it home until it becomes normalized.
Now picktbacking off of what I just said about declaring and focusing, there's duality
and everything, okay, And the next thing is not to rush your process
and your growth. This is like the biggest thing I think that we as
humans probably have to learn is the balance between focusing and attaching and having tunnel
vision towards our goals, but also knowing when we're hyper fixating, and we're
so attached to that outcome to the point where we're also like pushing it energetically
away, or we're not allowing ourselves or the universe enough time to have it
all figured out. And I even made this TikTok the other day about how
you know when people say, or even our parents probably have taught us this
thing where it's like when you are baking. Let's say you're baking chicken in
the oven. Okay, you don't want to keep opening the oven every three
seconds to see if it's done. You say you want your baked chicken.
You put it in the oven forever how long it needs. Sometimes it may
need longer. Who knows. You're just putting it in there until it is
cooked, okay, and you're not going to open the oven until it's done.
But what we do when we declare something, we say, okay,
I want to become a YouTuber, and then you know, we just like
sit here and like, yeah, maybe we like make the YouTube video or
this that, and then we're checking the views every three seconds, and we're
checking and we're checking, and we're checking and we're checking, and then we're
changing and we're you know, rebranding, and we're doing these things and we're
not trusting. We're opening the oven every three seconds. We're opening the oven,
opening the even and it's taking longer. It's taking longer for you to
get what you want in your life because you do not trust. And I've
said this before as well when it comes to manifesting. If you believe in
this, you believe in the universe. That's that, like the universe is
always moving mountains. As soon as you declare something, you say, this
is exactly what I want in my life, universe says, amazing, done,
I'm gonna go work on that. You go over here and do whatever
you need to do. Stay in alignment with this this version of you.
Don't worry. It's coming into your three D reality. It's not there yet
though. Okay, so we put that out into the world and the universe.
Let's say it needs to move a freaking mountain for us. It's going
to move a mountain for us. It's gonna move the mountain from A to
B. But we get so damn and patient that when the universe is moving
the mountain from A to B, it's a little bit messy, right,
Things aren't really that doesn't look like that's where I'm You know, the universe
will bring you people that doesn't really seem like it's happening, or this thing
is falling off, or like you're not getting the views over here are something's
not really like making sense, and we get so triggered and we're like,
oh my god, see it's not happening. Oh my god, to see
it's not happening. And then you're not trusting and you go back on your
word or that you need to change your desires, or you know, you
you have a fit and you just you stress out and you trust yourself out,
and you create all this chaos from simply not trusting that the universe is
moving your mountain from A to B. Let it be. So when you
see that little bit of a mess in the middle, don't mess with it.
Trust that it is coming. And I always say this to myself.
I really always say this to myself. And it's almost like sometimes I feel
like it's a little bit psychotic sometimes, like some of them. Maybe it's
because I've just been through so many hard times in my life and I just
know what this process is. But when I see something that is very clearly
the opposite of my manifestation. It's almost laughable to me. And when I
mean laughable, it's like, this is so funny because I am getting exactly
what I want in my life by the mere fact of this thing not working
out. And you really need to think about it like this. If something
is not working out in your favor right now, you're only one step closer
for it to working out. You should only ever have that mindset. You
just broke up with a guy, or a guy just broke up with you,
amazing, You're one step closer to your dream relationship. This opportunity didn't
work out for you. And this happens sometimes with me when it comes to
not often, but sometimes maybe like a brand deal for some reason it didn't
work out or something, or it fell through. This that not happening,
okay, perfect, I'm about to get a brand that's ten times better than
that. That's what I have to tell myself. Is it delusional, No,
it's not. It's not delusional to think in your favor. It is
not delusional to believe in yourself. It is not delusional to believe that good
things are on its way. It's not you have just been so programmed by
society, by negative people, by your own insecurities, that thinking positively is
ooh, I don't know if I should do that. Absolutely not. This
is not going to be the summer where we are believing in our limiting beliefs.
We're not going to do that. So bringing it back to not rushing,
I want to read another quote from Pinterest. I posted this on my
story last night, and it just you know, when you read some quotes
and it just hits you in your nervous system and everything's just relaxed and you
can just breathe. I hope this does this for you guys. So it
says, reminder, what's yours will be yours. No need to rush,
no need to feel anxious. All good things take time, and when it
does come time, your heart will be so grateful. Give it time,
rest your mind, and enjoy the present moment. This is something that is
very potent in my current reality right now, which always tends to happen when
you're really wanting to manifest something new in your life. You get really excited,
you have these goals, you're inspired, you're ready to take action,
and then sometimes not all the time, but there's this waiting period. It's
like, where's the manifestation? It's not coming? Where is it? This
is the point where you really want to rest in this trust within yourself because
you're creating your own reality and the universe that it's coming. The chicken it's
cooking. Don't worry about it. Go do something else. And what I
mean, go do something else. Don't rev up your nervous system and stress
yourself out in another thing and reran your life. I mean, go live.
Be in the price. There's a moment, especially when it comes to
summer. Breathe, like, where can you be right now on this present
moment? Your feet should be on the ground right now. Breathe. We
are so in our heads all of the time, especially the ones who are
super into cell development, goals, manifesting this that. And there's a girl.
Her name is Melanie Layer I think that's her last name, and she
is the founder of Alpha FM, and she has like a cool Instagram.
She has a lot of cool courses business related, self love, feminine energy,
things like that. I would definitely go check her out. And in
some of her courses she talks about having one foot in gratitude and one foot
in desire, and I think that this is always something we should really be
coming back to. Is this quote really write it down? Honestly, I
have it written down. Just when you are becoming aware that you're in your
head or you're checking, where's the manifestation, why is it coming, You're
stressing, you're acting on a scarcity. All this one foot in desire,
one foot in gratitude, or you can say the opposite way. Meaning gratitude
is bringing yourself into the present moment of what you have right now. Okay,
you're being grateful for everything you have because you know what you should.
There's so many things in your life right now that you should be present with,
and quite frankly, even when you get all your desires, if you
don't know how to be grateful for the things that you have right now,
it will feel like your desires are never here. I promise you that.
And on top of that, the feeling that you are trying to feel from
manifesting the things that you want in your life that you don't have yet,
that feeling. You can actually access that feeling through gratitude. Right now.
I know this to be true because when my life was a complete mess,
I didn't have anything that I had now. My health wasn't the worst state
it has ever been living in a trap house. My whole entire family life,
financial life, health life was an absolute mess. The thing that got
me through it was not first manifesting my future and all the goals that I
want to hit. The first thing was gratitude, because that was the thing
that was keeping me alive. You know why, because when you are grateful
for the things that you have right now, you signal to your nervous system
that I am okay, I am safe. There is no threat around me.
I don't have to do anything. I don't have to be anything.
I don't have to go anywhere, I don't have to find any answers.
I don't have to fix any problems. I'm okay. I have everything that
I need right now. And when you are in that state of rest and
digest, that is when you can get in better alignment with the things that
you truly desire in your life. Putting your step in desire, I should
say, And so I transform my life by first grounding myself in gratitude and
then thinking about, hmm, what is the life that I want Out of
a place of not being in fight or flight, because the goals that you
tend to have when you are consistently living in fight or flight, sometimes you
can see it's out of survival, right, Like I think about the times
when, yes, for sure, and I was never perfect, right,
I had to learn this. But when I tried to manifest at a fighter
flight, and this is not to say that you can't if you're going through
hard times, obviously, but my goals were a lot different than the goals
that I have now. The goals that I had were they weren't aligned.
It was like big lumps of money doing things that were not aligned for me,
or service level shit from relationships that weren't ever really going to make me
feel good. But I just thought that that was going to make me feel
good because I just needed that. And I maybe want to give this example,
and I don't want to offend people, because it's not to say that
you don't want to look for, let's say, a man who can provide
in terms of financial stability. But I found when I was young, I
definitely when I was in survival mode and I didn't have money and I didn't
have resources, and I was really struggling for sure. The top thing that
I was kind of I don't know, like amazed by. I cared about
the most was how much money does he have? Or like will he be
able to pay this thing? Or like take me on this expensive date in
this that, and listen to each their own Okay, everyone has a standard.
I still have my standards, absolutely, but I found the more I
moved out of that fight or flight and I rested in that gratitude, so
many things changed for my life. But also the quality of my relationships and
the men that I was dating and the people that I was going to,
you know, spend my time around completely shifted. I focused on characteristics,
I focus on morals and values. I stopped chasing these men who they had
money. Yeah they had money, but they didn't care about me. They
didn't even care about themselves. But I was following things that I thought that
were gonna make me safe based out of scarcity. So it's not to say
that you can't look for safety outside of yourself, but I promise you the
best thing you can do for yourself, especially as a woman, but for
anyone, is to create that safety within yourself. How do you do that?
Well, one one foot in gratitude. What can you bring your awareness
to that you already have that you can signal to your nervous system that you
are safe and listen. There might not be a lot, okay, but
I can't have people really convince me too much. And everyone's situation is different,
but I can't have people convince me too much that there's not something they
could be grateful for if they're sitting here listening to this podcast. I have
so many journals of all the things that I was grateful for when I was
younger. I remember I made a YouTube video when I read out some of
my journal entries. It's just insane, like, I'm so happy that I
kept in the back of my mind when I'm thinking right now some of the
things I was grateful for. I was grateful for my really shitty Mazda that
barely worked, and I had such high interest on that thing. But I
was so grateful for that Mazda, for being able to get me to point
A to B to get to work so I can make extra money, so
I can get my ass out of the situation that I had. I was
so grateful. I remember, I was just so so so so grateful for
the fact that I had access to the Internet where I could learn so many
things about health and wellness and healing and mindset and everything for free every day.
I was so grateful for that, and I think that sometimes we just
forget that, right, Like we forget you have this wealth of knowledge online
and you're sitting here like complaining about how life is so hard or you don't
have this or you don't have that. Dude, you have so many things
at your fingertips if you just look, if you were just a little bit
more focused on what you do have. And I get it. There are
so many real stressors in your life that take you away from the things that
you have in your life. But this is a practice of bring yourself back.
And honestly, this is a practice remembering who you are and what you
have. That is sometimes the hardest practice, but it's going to be the
practice that changes your life. And I even think about the times where I
really wanted to learn how to love myself more. And yes there was things
that I wanted to change, whether that was like physically mentally the way that
I acted everything in my life. But I became so hyper lovable that's not
the right word, but I just loved myself so much that I would just
say, I'm so grateful for my spot and my smile, my beautiful smile.
Even though I had a lot of work that I needed to get done
on my teeth, I didn't like my gap. There was things that I
wanted to get done. I was so grateful for my job, even though
it wasn't the job of my dreams. I wasn't making that much money,
but I was so grateful for the fact that I even had access to be
able to sometimes pick up shifts. I had alcerated colitis at that point,
and I was still so grateful for my health. I was grateful for everything.
So if you find yourself right now really in a place of annoyance with
where your life is at, maybe you're just maybe you're just too like hyper
focus on your desires, bring yourself back to gratitude. And that's kind of
where I'm at right now in my life, is bringing my awareness to not
everything that I forgot. But sometimes we forget, and sometimes we forget when
things get really good in our lives. Right I think that sometimes the people
who are the most grateful are the people who have nothing. Because I will
be honest and say I was way more grateful in my life when I had
nothing than I am today. And that's something that I want to keep going
back to and reminding myself of. It's like, look at everything that you
have. Your younger self worked so hard for the things that you have right
now, you're not even gonna be rateful for that. It's funny how that
works. Same thing when it comes to even money. It's like you think
that you'd be so much more happier when you get more money, or you'd
spend it differently, or this that when really sometimes you think about your old
self. At least for me, I'm like, sometimes that was better with
my money when I had no money, or I was more grateful for my
money when I didn't have money. So maybe this is also a reminder to
you if you have gotten a lot of things in your life and you're feeling
a little bit you're feeling a little bit bored in your life or nothing's really
making you feel anything. Because I feel like sometimes when you hit a certain
level of success and you basically got everything that you want, yes, there's
gonna be a level of you. For sure, there's gonna be some sort
of desire. You're always gonna want something more. But if you're feeling this
like emptiness, come back to gratitude. It will change your life. The
next mindset shift that you need to have, if you don't already have this
is a limitless mindset. I think if we really want to have the things
that we want, whether that is confidence, just have an amazing summer manifest
our dream lives, we need to believe it's possible, and we need to
believe that we are gonna come on top, and we need to believe that
we can get and do whatever it is that we want in this life.
Okay, And I think that sometimes we just again we kind of forget who
we are. We forget that we can have the things that we want in
our lives. And maybe there's certain things in your life that has made you
forget that. But this is not gonna be the summer. Listen, let
me read some Pinterest quotes once again, because we've got a few. And
I think that this is the truth of who you are, Okay, This
is the truth of who you are. This is the truth of who I
am, and this is things that I have to remind myself of. So
this tweet, Well, this is a trust quote, but this tweet says,
you will always come out on top. And let me just stop this
right here, and like, realistically, obviously you're gonna come out on top.
What are you going to do fail? I talk about this with my
best friend Juey all the time. It's like, what is the other option?
What is the other option? You're gonna fail? You're going to give
up? No, you're not. No, you're not. You're not going
to give up. I know you. You're not going to give up.
Anyways, this quote continues to go on and says it's in your nature to
always have everything you want easily. You know, those people that are considered
just lucky by others, that's you. That's who you are at your core.
And I really do think everyone who listens to this podcast, this is
the truth of who you are. You always come out on top if you're
showing up all the time, even if you feel like you're failing over and
over and over and over and over again. The truth of who you are
is that you continue to show up. Even in the worst times of my
life where I felt like I was in continuous cycles of self tabotage. I
knew to my core that I was still going to come out on top.
I don't know when, And God, some of those those cycles were lengthy.
And even when I had my nerve pain and I write that in my
book, or I wrote that in my book, I didn't know when I
was going to get out of that. I didn't know what the answer was,
but I knew that I was gonna come out on top. What I'm
gonna just not absolutely not, And then another one goes. Your spirit will
not allow you to fail. You already know this. This is why you
continuously strive to be a better you, and why you keep getting a strong
feeling to realize your potential. You can't even stop yourself. You were born
to win in every situation. It's so natural. And think about that.
You really can't stop yourself, can you? Even if you fall off a
little bit, Even if you stop doing your self development and you stop listening
to podcasts, or you stop having those conversations, or you stop reading your
books, or you fall off your routines, what do you do? You
end up coming back to it? Right? You have this innate there's this
feeling, this desire within you to always go and level up and do the
things that you desperately want your life. Even when everything in your life is
telling you know you can't do it, or you're telling yourself no, you
can't do it, or nothing is working out, you will still because that's
you to your core. Okay. Coming back to that quote, one foot
in desire, one foot in gratitude. You're gonna go back and forth.
Maybe you're gonna move with both of them kind of one step the other really
really quickly. Whatever it is, you will always have that desire to be
a better version of you, or to show up, or to have something
in your life. Do not forget that. Okay. The last thing,
and it has less to do with a mindset shift. Maybe it does,
but it's more to do with like body image, okay, And that is
I want you to prioritize having a healthy body over a hot body this summer.
Okay. The reason why I'm saying that is because, for one,
I feel like body image is such a big thing during the summertime. We
always are so hyper focused on how we look. But I want don't you
to hyper focus on how you feel and are you healthy? Okay, because
the way you feel and whether you're healthy or not, your body is going
to be the byproduct of that, like a great body. Okay. When
I really started focusing on healing my nervous system and eating right and being consistent
and really loving myself and showing up for myself, the fit body the quote
unquote hot body. It came as a result always, and I feel like
we're always trying to get that result. But the truth is when you try
to get that result, it's not bad that you want the result. But
at the end of the day, when you only try to do something specially
fitness and health based off of that end result, what happens is you go
back to the shitty behaviors when you either try to get that or when you're
waiting for the result and it's not coming, you fall off. Okay.
So there's this quote once again that I want to read to you guys,
and I think that this is just a reminder for you when it comes to
being on any sort of health and wellness journey throughout the summer. So it
says, in theory, consistency is about being disciplined, determined, and unwavering.
In practice, consistency is about being adaptable. Don't have much time scale
it down, don't have much energy, do the easiest version, find different
ways to show up depending on the circumstances. Let your habits change shape to
meet the demands of the day. Adaptability is a new way of consistency.
And you know what, maybe there's going to be some discipline girlies who might
have some pushback with this. And I can see how a lot of people
have the argument of you can't rely on motivation and if you just let yourself
just feel however you want to feel every single day, then you're not going
to get anything done this that. But I'm talking to the ones who have
lived life in overdrive of consistent, failed, really hard discipline that has not
really resulted to anything in your life. And that has been me. Okay,
So I have learned the skill of adapting and it has changed the entire
course of my life, especially when it comes to health and fitness. I
used to be a very strict perfectionist. I had an eating disorder, I
had many unhealthy behaviors when it came to fitness and health, okay, and
being somebody who tried to do the same thing every single day on a week
to week, month a month basis, did not work. Why many reasons?
Okay, let me list a few. First of all, it was
maybe the season of my life, you know, especially like going through your
twenties. Oh my god, there's so many stressors of life. Right you're
in well, not high school, but you're graduating high school, and then
you go into college or you're in university. There's so many changes in your
life. There's different friend groups that you have or different environments that you're moving
in. For me, personally, I was working all the time, so
I wasn't able to do these strict, hard routines the way that I really
told myself that I should. I had an emotional connection to food that was
really hard for me to stop eating the way that I was eating, and
I needed to do a lot of deep healing which I didn't address. So
it was really hard for me to do these strict diets and these strict things.
There's so many things. There were so many stressors in my life.
This is not an excuse. It's just to say what I needed in my
life was not this discipline, strict structure. You have to show up every
single day or you are bad or you are wrong. I had to understand
that there's just going to be some more days out of the week than not
that I maybe had to give myself a little bit more time to sleep and
I had to address my schedule or even coming into the beautiful wisdom and knowledge
of cycle sinking and understanding as a woman. If you're not on a hormonal
birth control, you are going through four phases of your cycle every month,
so your hormones are fluctuating, your energy levels are ebbing and flowing. This
is on an excuse. This is not to be like, oh okay,
so I'm not gonna just do anything. No, no, no no.
But it's adapting. It's being like, well, maybe I need to put
the gas on a little bit, or I need to take it off a
little bit. Depending on where I'm at my cycle, maybe I'll capitalize on
my energy or maybe I need to rest a little bit. And when I
do those types of behaviors depending on the season of life, my energy,
what's going on in my life, you know, if it's winter, if
it's summer. This that the motivation everything. It's allowed me to get so
good at my routines and in turn, I continue to be consistent on a
day to day, week to week, month to month basis. And that's
how I've gotten beautiful results in my life, even when it comes to my
mindset, even when it comes to work anything. The skill of being able
to adapt and knowing your own rhythms because everyone is different, every single person
is different, You're gonna have a unique way that you need to do things.
You need way of you know, going to the gym, eating a
certain way, where your energy levels are when is everything? And I promise
you it will change your life. And it takes a while to know yourself.
This is going to be the summer where you are going to know yourself.
You are going to understand your rhythm of your body, whether you're cycle
saying or not, but getting clear on you know, when you're feeling the
most energizeder when you're not, or how you're feeling, being real with yourself,
emotionally, releasing in the times that maybe you need to, being with
your inner child, knowing your worth, declaring what is yours in your life
and going exactly for it. When you do these things, when you change
your mindset like this in this episode, that's when magic will happen. We
are not waiting for magic to happen. Okay, we are going to create
it in a beautiful, aligned way that is unique, that is ours.
Every single person can create magic. You just need to know that you can
do that by reminding yourself first that you can do that. Do not wait
for that magic to be made. I promise you you'll be waiting a long
time. So with that said, I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode.
Please let me know if you enjoyed it. I don't know what I have
for next week's episode. I feel like I could do a recap episode,
but let me know in the comments on YouTube if you're watching what you'd like
to see next, if anything, if you want me to expand on anything.
There's a few topics that are brewing within me, but I'm not fully
there yet with being able to bring that to you guys. So I would
like to hear some feedback so that I can have my intuition lead me exactly
where I need and I need some I need some like soundboarding, So let
me know in the comments. If you're listening to this on Spotify or Apple,
well actually on Spotify, you can let me know what you liked,
and of course you can answer that question, make sure that you're following,
subscribing, whatever, and I hope you guys enjoy today's episode. Bye, hey,