Meatball, meatball spaghetti underneath. Hey, look, get me here back,
We'll started on that frame exactly. Your hands in your hands, it's perfect.
Hey, everybody, welcome, Welcome to the snark tank. Oh boy,
it's another one. Nobody died important, nobody important died. Not yet.
Somebody will die after this. Obviously, someone's relative is gonna have died,
and they're gonna be like, oh, fucking dare you? No one
important? I said, I was right, Yeah, did you not?
I didn't say no one non important died. I said, no one important
died. That's so funny. I didn't say someone who was unimportant died.
Yeah, we don't know your grandma? Sorry? Yeah, sorry, I
mean the sh rest in Piasta. But isn't that real ship? Though?
Do you remember when this happens all the time in celebrities. I know,
the people die with them, Like Paul Walker. When that guy died with
him, people like, oh, come, nobody's saying anything about him.
I'm like, what do you think the same thing happened with Kobe in the
helicopter? About all the older people because I don't fucking know them, the
people on my block when they die and I don't know them step I step
over their bodies, like, no, I don't. In fact, what
I do is that when they do like the sideways like memorials, I steal
stuff from it. I take the candles, I take the bottles of liquor.
It's free, you know it is leaving it there? Who's gonna somebody's
gonna someone else is gonna take it? Why don't I do it? I
like that you should not. You should not be like I respect that.
I mean, I don't know, man, I like, could you image
seeing someone do that that would walk over and picking it up? Like,
yo, dude, that's not nice. I tried to kill you so they
could get more stuff later on. So listen, there's not really that.
There's some stuff that we want to touch on, for sure, but I
want to talk about something first. And it's uh so yesterday at the day,
at the day of the time that we're recording this, yesterday was the
fourth of July, uh and it was also Lily's girlfriend's birthday, and so
we went over and uh we got really high and watched The Cat in the
Hat with with Mike Myers, which you've not seen, no, which I
specifically I only remember it after we did it. I was like, oh,
man, I wish Derek was here to see this. Yeah, it
was so good. It is a lot better than I remember. Honestly.
No, it's not. Yeah, no it's not. The movie is so
stupid. It's pretty good. It's such a dumb film. It's it's insane.
It's like it's the fact that that movie, Like, if you ask
somebody to describe what happens in a Cat the Hat movie, they will not
be able to do that if they've never seen it. They'll be like,
oh, like a cat shows up, but yeah, and it hangs out
in the house with the kids, and it's like for a small amount of
time. Then he ends up as like a fucking salsa dancer. Then some
like Asian woman gets trapped in another dimension, and then so it's a bunch
of purple flum. Yeah. The thing about it is like I forgotten that
the central premise of that movie. Do you remember the book really at all?
No word for word on he has he has a box that's insane.
Well, I read it as much when I was little. It's like a
it's like a iconic movie for like movie book for me. You read it
over and over again like yourself. Why, because I was that was like
one of the first things I learned how to read because it was like very
simple phrases. Yeah, yeah, I guess last week I forgot. The
central part of that movie is like the box that he has where a thing
one and Thing two come out. You know, thing one, thing too
right now, Yeah, you're lying. That can't be possible. Man.
They didn't have when you were good. They didn't come out yet. So
you guys are all about Doctor Seuss. I mean necessarily Doctor Seuss was was
was what did you what did you get read to you as it? Because
that's the thing that was like intro to like literature for kids. So Doctor
So here's the thing there. There was a lot of uh this in my
household. My mom was very busy, so I don't really remember being like
read to very much. However, Uh it's pretty much as soon as I
was old enough to really understand and comprehend video games and I started, like,
you know, learning how to read myself, it was off to the
races of just playing RPGs and that was how I read. I didn't I
didn't read like uh kids books. I I liked uh like the only time
I read was in my schools, and my school was a private school,
and they skipped over the fun kid part. They were like, Oh,
we're gonna do current events, so you're gonna cut out these articles from the
thing we're gonna We're gonna give you this fucking They would give us Charlotte whatever
or something bro. They give us these packets like the Trail of Tears or
some ship like they. I was reading like there was. I learned words
like say, I remember when I was a kid not understanding how to pronounce
chaos because it was the chaos emeralds. I didn't really understand how to pronounce
it like it just say. I was like cows, like how chows?
I wasn't sure. Being in that school, basically, the teacher would be
very it was it was stupid. I didn't I didn't get to enjoy a
lot of things in that way where and even learning like things now that I
would probably struggle with because I've been in schooling so long. I was learning
back then when I was a kid, like Oh, you're gonna this fucking
asshole paid this, and the percentage of tax in this state is this,
so how much is it gonna cost and I'm like, I'm fucking ten and
I'm like, bro, what is this? I pleaded with my my teacher.
I'm like, I know, I don't need to know this, can
I like, why are we doing this? You just hang out? You're
gonna thank me lighter. She was fucking she was some she was some chick
from Massachusetts. She's like, you gotta fucking thank me later? Am I
go drive my satin my ca, my satin ca? Yeah? I just
did you? Did you think her later? She died? She died before
I got to thank her Jack, But but she was she was, you
know, extremely diabetic, like she had a Let me put it this way,
my friend Taylor bought these X files toys. She had Molder Sculli and
then there was this alien autopsy. Yeah right right right? That sentence is
insane. Even we were like, why you have these? There were X
Files? Yes? There were? Isn't that not a kids show? Not
at all? I watched it as a kid, for sure. I definitely
saw it sometimes, so these were probably collectibles. I remember the theme.
I really liked the themes. It was scary. Literally, when I was
little, in the nighttime, I would hear that theme, I would skip
back. There was a little in that theme. There was only one thing
that scared me. It was this image of like, no, no,
no. It was a silhouette of like a dude like almost like plunging into
like oblivion. There's a little silhouette of humanoid. Oh, it fucking freaks
me out. It's so creepy. Beteen, that little half of the alien's
face flashes. That ship fucked my night was scary. But I would watch
this show and it was fucking goofy. The show itself, the show itself
is not nearly as intense as the theme song would have. It's crazy.
But there was an alien that looked like a guyver essentially in one of the
episodes. If you remember the fucking you know Guiver from from Animes, Like
they're like, it's like bloody, how would I It's like an alien species
thing that like becomes armor and it's just the golorious shit ever. But anyway,
there was a guy that looked like him or looked like that fucking mask
rider. Fucking bug dude. It was. There was a guy an alien,
and then there's two people playing basketball outside and ship and the aliens like
what's going on? He takes the basketball and like dunks it and ship like
he's like learning human shit. I'm like, what the is this? It
is a very very you have aliens being in places like imagine Clark can landing
in like fucking like Brooklyn in like the fucking nineties. Yeah, that's basically
what you now. You know how you know how bad horrible things would have
turned out, like the situations that like imagine like instead of Peter parking a
bit by a spider, like I don't know, some kid that's on the
block like Schels Peter, he gets bit and not a fucking absolutely fit.
He's a villain, dude. He's like he takes over the Triceon area and
like a span of two months. I like the idea of so, like,
I'm sure you've seen that. I don't know if it's a toy or
something or an image of its Biggie small as a spider man, I have
seen that. So what if what if he got bit before, like he
really showcased his skills and then he went that route, how do you think
that would have turned out? He wouldn't have been an arrow for sure,
when he was still just doing like Hudlam shit that he was still like because
he was still he was still doing that hitch it like you well, so
we imagine, like imagine like iced teas Wolverine, he's like he's one day
he gets like really upset and his claws pop out. It would be such
a terrible, terrible group of people to endow with those abilities. Yeah,
you can't. Or like like a like an Epstein's he's already a billionaire and
ship Epstein drinks a super Solia formula that's so overpowered too, because he's he's
rich and superpowered, like no one is that, No one is that.
The richest superheroes are often the Regular and Iron Man specifically, because I think
even even writers understand, like that's too much power. You can't be in
vulnerable and immune to socioeconomic issue that I think about, it wouldn't Tony Stark
like drink the super like a soldier serum, Like wouldn't he? But I
feel like, look, I think logically he could make it. He could
replicate only only one persons really tried to make it. Because think of it
like this, like it happened, Cap got frozen, so it was just
gone. So they were like, let's just make other ship like, we're
not gonna wait around for this thing where we gotta think it's dead. So
then Cap comes back and he's like I would have been Yo, let me
see your blood, bro, Yeah, it was your blood. I'm gonna
give you a fuck. I'm gonna give Hulk your fucking formula. Let's see
what happens and fly. Yeah, can he donate blood? I don't know.
I feel like he should be able to. I don't know because I
feel like his body metabolized it. So I don't know, Like, can
Peter Parker do it? No, Peter, Peter hasn't. It's backfired a
few times. Are you serious? What happened? He gave it to May
and now May if she gets uh, she can't get any other kind of
blood. She's super radiated. Yeahcause he's ready acting like green. Whether she
like, no, she just probably has like hyper cancer, but it's dormant.
It's just really aggressive. It's crazy. She like, is she like
like, so she has the blood that heals her? Is it? Is
she like Deadpool? Now? No, she just has Peter. I don't.
It's not real science. Obviously, let's start. Let's start right there,
but then she took blood from Peter, her and Peter being the same
blood type. I think only she can get blood from Peter. Now he's
like one hundred and ten years old in the comics. Let that bitch die.
You know, I don't understand how is I actually never really why is
aunt May so old like like comparatively to say we're is that? Okay?
You know, I've never actually I've never actually dug into this. Is that
truly? Like that is uh his aunt? And not by blood? Okay?
And and and and Ben is his Ben was Ben was his brother's dad,
okay. And then she died. He died, He died obviously Ben
adopted the kid because May did not actually want Peter. Ben was his brother's
dad. Ben was his his dad's brother, sorry, dad's brother. My
politics, So it was it was it was Richard Parker and it was Ben
Parker. And what happened is that like they were like, oh, my
brother died, like, I'm not gonna let he was. Also Ben was
also an older brother too, like much older I guess, yeah, definitely
an older brother. And he was just like my son, my brother just
died. I'm not gonna kid go like by the way side. So they
adopted him, and then what happens is ended up loving Peters is a good
kid, and then it's like, I'll guess I'll raise you for the rest
of your life. I figured there had to be something like that because I
was like, what, what the hell's going? That's why I understand,
Like in the newer movies, they're like, let's make her seem more like
an actual like like an actual aunt, you know what I mean. Or
she's not older. We gotta we gotta remember, we gotta remember that that
is from the sixties. Sure, there's the sixties comic books. And it's
also let's make and I get her role too, like just the mom.
He's the mother, the sweet old lady, like the the matriarch essentially,
because I get like this Peter Parker, like even in comics, it's about
like thirties and some change now like a little over thirty now, it's funny
even in a world of time moves so fucking hyper slow. He's a little
bit over like thirtieth Yeah, just crazy, I guys, a fuck up
at that age. It's crazy, like even like come on, dude,
even by like twenty eight, I started figuring my life out. This motherfucker's
still just it's a genius. I mean, there are some people figuring that
was that it happened. Yeah, I just talked to one of my friends
and I was because always I pushed my friend too. Of my closest friends,
they don't have a PCs yet because they just you know, they're making
excuses. I'm like, you guys are grown ass people. You have his
motherfucker took his wife to CanCon and shit, I'm like, you can.
You clearly can get a PC. You're fucking stupid. My other friend actually,
when I pressed him, he's like, I don't even have a credit
card yet. And I was like he's my age and I was like,
oh, all right, well you're done, bro. I was like I
was. I was like, I was like, all right, I'm not
even gonna press. You're like, all right, man, I didn't know.
I was just like, damn, bro, how do four years will
be forty years old? Bro, there a credit card and have a credit
card. I didn't get a car that no, well yeah technically because he
doesn't have debt by that system, but like you need it to like to
live. Unfortunately, and his country here's the thing. Functionally, do you
really need it? Yes, like really like actually to exist in America.
Yes, unless you have a ton of capital on you, but you needed
to to like get approved for the loans for like houses and stuff. Yeah.
Yeah, if you have no one's kind of no one's in a house.
If you have a ton of capital, it's then you don't need a
credit card at all, like if you just if you just have cash.
No. But what I'm saying is like the the reasons that credit cards even
for like apartments like in houses and stuff like that, I don't need a
credit card to get my apartment. You definitely definitely check your credit scor like
that. Yeah, I guess they definitely did. They definitely. Don't let
them do it. You can't. Don't don't do it. I say,
don't. Don't look in that drawer, don't don't don't look at don't look
at my credit score. What is the lowest to have? Like actually,
like I knew somebody with two sixteen? Is it really a quantifiable like number?
It can actually be like it can go it can go down to it
can go down though, Like I feel like because after like you could have
been lying, But like it would be it would be a dumb lie,
it would be a dumb line. I felt like at like four they stop
counting. I thought like they're just like, you're so fucked it doesn't even
matter. No, you can you can go into the two hundreds. I
know, and I know two hundreds is possible. So how do you get
the lowest? It's three hundred. Three hundred is the possible LOWES score.
That's what it's important to know that typically more than one more than one credit
scovery people have three and then depending on the credits scoring company and when they
were calculated, so about eighteen, I guess it goes zero to what I
didn't have a credit score that's eight. Well, I would beg the question
like what did that person do? Like what kind of high risk because high
risk high reward. That situation with this motherfuckings like, yeah, roll the
diights. I bombed mine to the low fives by didn't pay a medical bill
because I felt like I didn't deserve to pay it because they just kind of
fucked me. It was in twenty I went to the emergency room and I
did a biller didn't even help me. I didn't even see a biller.
You know, they're supposed to see you after. So I didn't know the
process. The first time I ever been to the emergency room. Uh,
they just sent me a bill and I was like, hey, uh what
the fuck? Like y'all didn't anyway, Long story short, later, when
I actually got emergency insurance because I went for the second time, bill or
helped me with everything, and I was like, why the fuck didn't do
this before? Try to explain the situation. They didn't give a fuck.
They're just like, give us some money, or it's going to collections.
I'm like, well, I guess it's going to collections. And uh.
And then I two cell phone things. I just broke the contracts. I
just to stopped paying them because uh, it's predatory. Yeah. They were
back in the day, at and Tea and Verizon were like I would My
cell phone bill was over one hundred dollars a month. Morally speaking, we
should not be paying we should we should default on more bills than we're allowed
to. You know what I mean? Morally speaking, it's crazy. Yeah,
yeah, so much and so much of this bullshit, it's ridiculous.
Yeah. So I was just like, so I fucked on my credit because
of that, and I got to like, I got to like, maybe
like low. I know one of my friends had like for something that was
bad and now he's like he's backing up, and the mine was like maybe
like five for a bit. Yes, mine was probably like higher fives.
But that's still if you're in the fun like it, you might as well
be have no credit or it's nothing. No one to give me show you
something like a credit card? Would like why like such a terrib way?
Why I start at three hundred? Though? That such a weird well I
think I heard people say it's not three hundred from me. Mine started at
five hundred. No, But what I mean is like, well, sorry,
six, it's not a six hundred for me, right, But what
I'm saying is like, why is three hundred the low? Why is it
the low? I just feel like at a certain point it doesn't matter anymore,
right, but at a certain point, But but then why the floor?
Why would seven? Why would seven hundred be good? Like wouldn't you
understand like shouldn't zero be where it stops? And then whatever seven hundred would
be from zero is like where it would people have a universal based income,
no matter what. I guess, you know, I guess what the thought
processes the people that have no credit, and unless they're just looking at actual
numbers, right, the people have no credit a lot of times will have
a little bit of a better shot of getting something than somebody who's better than
bad credit. Yeah, well, do do you think do you think it's
like a destiny thing? Were like even now because it's been going on for
so long, the lowest you can go is nineteen hundred. Yeah, here
we go. I mean, like the because like leveling systems, how like
the new zero is now, like you can't be below this certain level because
it's so late. So you get there. You probably or just one of
those idiots that probably has four credit cards and you're constantly buying, and but
you just you you'd only deal with credit cards. You're not just using your
sepit card because I'm like, what are you doing? I hate using my
credit card bare I have three of them and I hate using all of them.
Yeah, I hate them. I just you know, to buy all
the new furniture and stuff and not even the best furniture. Was just like
just buying what I whatever we need. And I was just so upset,
just like seeing that the you know, just this credits static. That's what
I did. I paid for my computer my credit card. I paid credit
card and I paid off the computer. Like three months, three months?
Have you settling in? Did you get that Fireman's poll? Yeah? Yeah,
I got the I got the Fireman's poll. She said you didn't like
the stairs in your apartment, so you wanted to like, yeah, it's
actually really cool. It's it's it's not Unfortunately, I don't have a ladder
to really really properly secure it, like you know that like bolt it in,
cake it back up. So it's like you kind of have to you
kind of have to be really careful using it. You have somebody being like,
yo, you want to take out my room and like yeah, for
sure. And they go to a fireman's pole and they just hands it no
feet and they call up through a whole like come up here, man,
I'm like, how do I get up there? Climb? Climb? You
don't see the pole in front of you, dude. It's like, bro,
First of all, the fact you did that is insane. Your your
agilities off the charts. You couldn't you couldn't climb a fireming pole, you
think probably, but it would take a lot out of me. I don't
think I would be able to do it now when I was athletic. Yeah,
I definitely. I don't I know the texture of those of those exactly,
but I feel like I could. I think you could. It doesn't
seem like that. I think your body weight to your strength ratio would be
able to you'd be able to do it. Probably. I'm not sure if
I can right now. I I don't know. I wouldn't even want to
try, because then if you you get the idea of doing it straight hands
and like one clap after seeing those crazy calistenic, fucking freaks, like I
want to beat you can't beat those people, but I want to beat them.
I want to beat them because like they just make me mad, like,
don't be like fucking horizontal like a flagpole. Is the audacity of it
seeing them, seeing them outlift bodybuilders is crazy, or match them is so
insane. And it's this guy that's chock full of steroids. He's more steroid
than man. And then the castle birds like, oh wow, that's pretty
cool. Let me go lift the same weight as you. And it's just
like that building is so genuinely like that is like religion to me, it's
vanity, like you're doing the most work to achieve something that is not even
really that useful, purely because you like the way it feels and you like
the way it looks. People. It's people with the rosaries answers for two
things. It's like, all right, I enjoy it. The culture get
gets so fucking obnoxious, to the point where this actually brings me to There's
this guy. I can't remember his name. He went to He's he's in
the alpha bro sphere whatever, that whole thing. So no, no,
no, no, yeah, yeah, I'm talking about I forgot his name.
No, this guy. He was an ex conviic. He went to
prison for like ten years for doing a bunch of wild ship. Is he
a white guy with like reddish hair. No, he's completely bald. He
has a beard, and so the only reason I know about him is his
scalp red Yes, he's because he's angry. Yeah, because he's read.
Because he's angry and pumped full of steroids and so fash and Fit had this
uh, they had this seminar or that was the guy. That guy,
So it wasn't even The guy wasn't even a ban he was just this.
He was calling him a bit. He was a regular conservative that cares about
family. So they asked the question of all the people on the stage.
They were like, I mean I agree, and uh they were like,
hey, what what do you How do you define success? So the first
couple of people were talking about like being free and like the answers were like
pretty generic but fine, yeah, I actually agree with that, And then
it gets to this fucking roided bald asshole. Success is you fucking need to
be rich, you need to be jacked, you need to be this like
he was talking about like money, materialistic and all this crazy shit. Then
they went to this guy, this conservative guy. He's like, my answer
is probably gonna be different from most of you, but it's about you know,
family, having a family, you know, taking care of family,
having a wife, like just things that like a lot of people in the
world value. That seems very reasonable and just normal white paying for this knowledge.
But still all of a sudden, that fucking guy starts getting up just
calling him a cuck and calling him the f slur and saying like you have
man ticks, man should men shouldn't have tits. At one point, the
guy tells him to shave his arms. He's like and then and then the
guy replies, oh yeah, because that's really manly shaving my fucking body,
Like, what are you talking about, dude? And then he kept saying
like yeah, you kept getting He kept firing back of the dude, and
you can tell was getting to him. He's like you, like, I
could tell Matt, you're really repressed. You obviously got fucked in prison.
And he's just saying to that crazy and the guy you obviously got fucked in
prison slept with you. The best part of it, the dude was like,
who the fun would even hang out with this loser? You know,
he's like that. And then a bunch of people in the crowd are like
I will, and he goes, fuck you. He gets so upset when
people are like this, dude is I just like A few weeks ago I
saw the video, so I saw clips of it. I saw him getting
made fun of. H Yeah. I also saw the guy fresh and Frit
going on the because I watch Middle Ground, I think interesting, I think
to it, And what happened is that the guy Freshman Frint went on there
and it was like it was like it was like physically fit people against people
that are not like, oh be stuff like that. And what's funny is
that everyone kept making fun of how fucking small he was. They were like,
you're like, you're like really feel like you're not really that fit dude.
You're built like a fucking teenager. Like you're not like you have no
like build to you, like these guys. Look at these guys. You
guys are impressive, but look at you just like you're built like fucking wily
coyote. Isn't that like that? It's so funny because he's just he's just
so insultable. They're so insultable. One of them looks like I'm not gonna
say it, nor mind you should. The dark skinned one has a look
that I would I would normally make fun of, but I'm not as a
fellow black man, I'm not gonna say that. He's he definitely like we
know usually to make fun of him. Say, I don't know, I
don't know what this person. You've never seen guys, I sincerely, I
don't know what it is about them specific, you know how On my drive
with Jalen to uh La from New York. We survived on Red Bull and
Little Bites, and now I swear to God, I've never I haven't seen
Little Bites in the supermarket since, even though I'm sure I've walked past them.
Fresh and Fit is like that where I feel like, I know I've
seen Fresh and Fit clips, but I could not in a million years describe
the faces and the people on that show. I feel like I like my
brain like replaces them every time. Look, every time they're on screen.
This is them. This is the the what if you don't see anything on
a screen. I have never seen these people, but I've seen clips.
You're you're you are. I'm not even I'm not even exaggerating. Those two
people are not right. You are a master of your own domain for real.
Like you, You've really reached a point where like I wish I did
the things you don't care about. That's wild. I wish a lot of
these people. It took a lot of practice. When I see these people
won't recognize them after this either. You're forgetting them right now as I already
forgot. I'm honest, I'm be honest. If I if they did walk
past me, I would not it wouldn't pick up like it wouldn't register because
I would be laughing at the dark skin once registered. I think he looks
like Alter is terrible. I know it's really not nice to say that.
I know it's very crazy. I think it's fine, but he really does.
He deserves it. He looks like and this is probably only me.
Actually I'm mna forget it. You should you know the you know, the
girl from the Black Lady. God, damn it. I think he looks
like her. I think he I think he Yeah. I think whatever you
say about those guys, they deserve You know what I'm talking about, right,
you know what I'm talking about, Right, Chris, you agree,
you agree, it's fine, It's fine in this context, is sort of
fine. What you're Leslie Jones? Yes, I mean I think he looks
like Leslie Jones. You're not wrong. They both look like does he?
I think he does a little bit. I actually forgot people have the picture
again already actually already I didn't see that though. I don't think idea I
would have picked up on that. The problem it's basically just an ugly man.
Now. He looks like if Kevin Hart was like a little swollen he
was like if Kevin Hart got like ran over by a car and it's stung
by bees and the bees were driving the car together. It's a ton of
bees and it's freaking You can just hear fucking Jerry Seinfeld, this car h
bees in cars running over idiots. Imagine you imagine a car getting pulled over
after hitting a few people and my person opened the window and it's just bees.
I wouldn't even I feel like, is that is that fucking candy?
Man? What is this? That's a different world, that's it. That's
a world where like that's an impractical joker world. Man, that's where that's
where like you go you peer into the past and you see you're you're in
the sixties and you see John F. Kennedy in his motorcade going and then
you hear it cuts to like the impractical Jokers, like all right, now
take the shot, and then and then he shoots him, and then they're
all cracking the fuck up, laughing like joker bro Like they're like they're laughing,
like it's going out of style rules. We did it. You mentioned
they're they're responsible for every single major major historical event ever. Begau just dared
each other. They're the ones that sold MLK the room with the window,
alright, Q no beat Rodney King. A few times it cuts to them
cracking. They're cracking. They're cracking up on the floor. They're rolling around
and dying. They're laughing so hard there's actually tears and it's wetting the floor.
The floor is getting wet from their tears, and it's like, what
the fuck? How do you kill these guys? They gotta find a joke.
They don't find funny. I don't know one of their practical jokes fails
to finally die, but they've never failed. Clips of them, like sometimes
every now and again, my TikTok will show me like a like a behind
the scenes clip of them, like clearly somebody like recording something that they're doing.
It's not them or anything official, but it's them. It's clearly the
things that don't make it on the show, you know, like clearly,
like what the fuck? Like people like really about to beat them up and
they're still laughing and they're having a great time. That's people are writing them.
He's laughing. He's like, I wouldn't try if I was. They
killed those They killed those people. Whenever whenever it goes awry and it doesn't,
you know, they can't use it. Then they kill them. Man,
have you guys seen the video with the guy where he's like like they
were doing like some Miko chat thing or whatever, and it was two black
guys the guns and they were like ha ha, they were showing the guns
and the things like I have a gun too, and a guy points a
gun at them and they're like, ah, it's funny, say one of
the little bang guns. And then he shoots it and he reveals it and
it says the N word on it, and I'm like, what jo I
did somehow see that video and as one of the joker or some guy,
it's really terrible. Some guys get Confederate flag in the back and it's a
white dude and he has a fucking mask of George Floyd on his face and
then the joker. I think I showed I think I showed it to you.
I sent it to you on the Instagram because all my Instagram for me
and Derek, our entire Instagram conversation is just racism. It's just it's just
extreme racist. I love it, dude. My Instagram is fucking people it's
like it's like really explosive ship sounds, nine eleven videos and really serious racism,
my god, really serious racism. Not it's not. It's the kind
of racism that if you're not one of my friends, you won't laugh at
it, right, that's it, Like you'll be like, oh, that's
really not that's pretty clear. I got you. I fix that for you.
I don't want that fix exactly. I think that if I send almost
nothing to fuck it up dude. For a while, Jojo, it was
exclusively like gay horn. It was just dudes because all you have to do
is just on the browsing section, Like, okay, so some muscle guy
came up and then you roll through that, and then it just immediately starts
turning into these muscular gay dudes with like hard dicks, but they're like they
still have their pants on, so like you can you can. It's technically
legal, right, you can like girls period, you know, showing their
nipples and stuff, but like they're it's like transparent, but they're not topless,
so you can do that. These dudes would have like boners and shit,
they're clearly just it's just for gay content, and all you gotta do
is just keep scrolling that and hitting like everything will be that. It was
fucking insane, and right now, since I'm on my little arc of uh
just seeing all the people that are I'm kind of just interested in all the
people that are hating on Starlight because she fed her face up and so that's
basically my feet now. It's just because I read a few things and then
I put one thing in the story and then it's I can't escape it now,
and every day when I see it, I am fucking flabbergasted. I
really am, because she wasn't even like you know some some uh you can
almost see why somebody was a little insecure, like I think. I think
first season she just had a very round face. Yeah. Season two was
what she got some work done, and I think she looked fine. I
thought season two she just kind of stuck a few pounds because I can see
definition in her face. That's what worked on. I've actually got worked done.
In season three three, she definitely got worked on. And in season
four she turned into she looks like an ony fucking mask. Dude, she
looks like a mask. This is the ship that's on Mie? Is that
her? What even is that? Why why is that there? I don't
know how that is. This is the first thing that came up though.
Then it's fine that we're talking about Fresh and Fit. I hope I get
all their content because they're so fucking they're so good. Dude, what what
okay? Other than other than Andrew Tate? Why because Andrew Tate at least
is muscular and he has footage. He pretended to be a champion in kickboxing.
He's not, but let's just say he can fight. He's muscular.
I understand why those fucking in celts will follow him the other people everybody else.
I'm like, what's going on? They're they're not like Fresh and Fit.
You said likes iss No, no, no, no, no no
no. There's Goggins. That's another guy, David Davis. David Goggins.
Look, they like David Goggins, but David Goggins doesn't like those people.
I don't know who that is. So he's just Jesus black dude. Like
he's still team he was he was, He was a fucking a seal and
all he does is do he does impossible ship this guy, mother, this
motherfucker. He does like ultra marathons. You know a whole inness heart and
ship. He does things that like you think a normal human would be able
to do. What the fuck up, dude, that was obviously not he's
done it. Yeah, he's done. He can't do that. I know
what you mean, asshole, but you also know what I mean. He
was like, yeah he's I think he's because I think Goggins is kind of
cool and I'm like, this guy's sort of cool. No, he doesn't,
but he doesn't. He doesn't say he doesn't. He just says like
really like motivation, Like he says like critically motivational. He's in the N
words sometimes it is what he does. He used to wish he said waltson
Niggins at least twice, but he doesn't do it. And I'm like,
come on, Goggins, you're blacks. He has said nigga a few times.
He says it like, but he's like he's just this dude that used
to be like and then he just now runs hundreds of miles like all the
time, and he does thousands of pull ups. I think it's like the
record or some shit, and all he does. He has this cash phrase
goes stay hard, motherfuckers. If you're having a bad day. You just
gotta wait perdict out and let it drag on the floor. Fucking stay hard
the first of all, Walter, no one else's Walter David, no one
else dig drags on the floor. Bro. Yeah, He's like, this
is the dragondd you took on the floor. It's fine, take a dick
out. What do they rest on the floor like it always does. It's
like, your dick isn't ten feet long? Let it rest on the floor
like it always Like it's a relatable problem. Yeah, it's a relatable thing.
It's like, oh yeah, everybody's it's like going on Shark tank.
It's like sharks don't everybody runs into this problem where they can't count past four?
Why got a new thing? Are you five? It's like, why
got anythink four and more? The only program that lets you teach you how
to count past four? No more being embarrassed at meetings when you can't count
pass being a person that has a job that's been able to get there and
facilitate conversation with those people and you can't and you have no and you have
no clue the number six exists, and like five, he's starting to get
the idea, but six is alien his. It's so embarrassing when we all
can't count everybody's. Everybody has this moment. Everybody has this problem. It's
a problem society that no one's no one's brave enough to talk about. I've
come up with a solution, and I'm asking for three percent. I'm asking
for three dollars and it stays for three percent equity in my company. I
don't know what comes after. I'm not doing for three three three three.
Dude, what he just knows he knows multiples of He knows that three multiple
times. And what happens in one of those sharks? What are those sharks?
Just pulls out a five dollars bill? What happens does that guy?
It gets blighted. He's getting a feeling like literally, he says, you
know, in minecraft, you're in a lava's Like I feel like I feel
like it would be like at the end of the whale, that motherfucker with
just a sent the idea of somebody making it that far in life without standing
I don't know, and the assumption that the assumption that he has that everyone
has this problem. Yeah, like it's not just him, He's actually only
met people that can't do that, but they somehow made it this far.
There's a little population like that exists of people that like his job. I
guess it's only people. It's like one guy that knows it's bigger, but
he doesn't want to talk about it. And there's one he knows about six
and seven but he doesn't really know further than that. Well, he put
three more than once and it equals six. I literally can't think of a
scenario where you can keep somebody so compartmentalized, so he never experience that,
like but also be coherent like you can. They can speak in plain sentences.
He has opinions the economy. Yeah, he knows like stuff like this
one, two, three, four four one four and two four and three.
Like he's like, you would remind me of like fucking Terrence Howard,
Like that's like face it would that be? Literally like what if we what
would three threes be? And but he like what would three threes be?
Like what would I get? Can I get? Can I get three threes
on number of pump six? No, there's no pump six, there is
no him get Let me get three threes on pump three? Choice, He
doesn't know that he doesn't understand. It's like you can't like because you can't
he does it. It's so funny, so stupid not knowing that, Like,
and there's other numbers you imagine instead, imagine instead of like in his
world you go to the pump six and it's three plus three, but it's
no six, it's just three and three again. I mean he knows the
equations. He set the answers and sees the equations, but doesn't know the
answers because he can't see them. That's fucking insane. It's something like that's
like some rain Man ship like Verse rain Man or something. It's like something
where I just got it. It's so stupid, rained man, brained man
whatever. I don't even know how the funk we got there. Give me
some, Yeah, there's some. There's some brief steps to talk about before
we get into questions. Oh no, Mark, give me brain man.
We've got so Kendrick Martin. I can't have that on me. This has
a bat of fucking bleach next to him, acids off the black part of
his fingers. You carry sulphuric acid with you just oh no, it's like
p for you. That's racist. That's that's racist, snake. Whenever he
gets Marker on that no I'm closer to them, he turns off the lights
and he gets terrified. That is that is crazy. You're so raised that
turned off the lights really bothers you. Yeah, you know you have night
lights always. You have several night lights and lamp and stage lights on you
while you're sleeping. Bro, you got stage light so hot in the road.
So well, not one dark corner that fucking room, not one shadow,
not one fucking shadow. His house looks like a fucking Christmas tree,
and everybody's like Jesus, dude, because no one wants to come over.
Wow, you gotta wear sunglasses in your house at night time. That's crazy.
It's like those guys who like, what is it the the Borday people
who like got theme like the fucking oh my god, what was it the
X ray lights or something? Oh god, the ultraviolet was it? What
the fuck was it? It was like these the NFT guys who had that
party on the boat, but they got like these crazy powerful lights. I
don't know, you don't know the story. I talked about the story on
this on the show. If we did, I forgot as well. They
burned themselves. It was like it was like like medical grade lights for like
something I can't remember if it was UV or I imagine it was something like
that. I imagine it was. It was something like that. And that's
the type of ship that you would expect those dumb assholes. Wait, look
it up when you okay, because I'm like, I swear to God,
this is real. Look up like n f T party, uh light burn.
I think if you I think if you put if those those keywords,
should should do it. Yeah, the NFT party UV lights party goal is
blame V blame V lights for burned ice and skin. I like how they
blame UV in Hong Kong. They blame the lights, not them. They
blame the lights and not the people who plant, like who bought the lights?
Like who thought? Like well, they literally were just like we need
so much money off of our bullshit thing, let's throw a party and like
buy the most expensive lights possible. And they didn't understand that it was fucking
radiac radioactive lights. Fucking idiots wild wild. She probably says it right on
the box too. Literally, it's probably a skull and crossbones on the box.
You open and say, God damn man, what slayer people. That's
the danger about like not being smart and making a lot of money like that,
you do ship like that. That's kind of the thing. It's like,
at the very least, I feel like at a certain point they were
like, well, I guess no, because you'd always had like royalty and
stuff like that, where they would like inherent like stupid kids who just inherent
ship, right, So I guess you would never really escape that, but
they would let I mean, I guess that's a that's somebody who might be
president is literally that. Yeah, yeah, anyway, hey man, we
might be getting cammlo though there's whispers whispers. I mean, I'll take that
over, fucking I'll take that over, Joe, dude, I won't.
I can't hate her so much. You would rather want because I want that
State of the Union address every every every year where it's just the most haunting
and might burn it down mentality obviously, I want. I just I feel
like that State of the Union would be glamorous because first they couldn't. They
couldn't let it happen, like they can't let him give the State of the
Union address every year in that voice did he have cancer, you have throw
cancer or something? Yeah, something like that, some something fun to start.
He ate a radiator? Hot. Did see that picture of him eating
a dog in like Thailand or something? You don't know that photo? Look?
Look, do you know how beautiful this photo is? Look? Okay,
it looks like something out of Elder's Great. Here's the thing why this
photo is so beautiful. He has been one of the biggest haters of Fauci,
and there's the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then
we're like all the rumors of the dogs, and then we made the whole
thing that Bouci eats dogs. And it turns out RFK Junior is the one
that eats dogs. Have you seen that photo? Said? How could you
eat a dog? As an American person? I mean I could probably eat
it that Well, he's a he's a freak. And he also there's sound
bites of film saying he says, you would never eat a dog, but
he's like almost almost eat I just won't eedit a dog. Careful because j
Rogan's gonna kill you if you do that. He will, like we'll fucking
go ap escape on it. Like yeah, I don't know, man,
Like you could not give me enough you a dog? Do I think animals
are animals? I had to do. There's no like there's dogs are different
from other animals. I mean they're so they're so inherently there's still animals,
yes, but the nature of a dog relationship, nature of your dog's relationship
with you know, dogs and humans. We regally could have did that with
pigs. We just decided pigs of prey animals. No, it's like we
could have, we could have. We're not. But like the pigs that
we're gonna be around aren't going to try to kill us. But pigs are
just domestic domestic. They're different animals. No, they're not. They are
they're not. You can actually set a fucking it it will become, and
it will become. It will become a feral pig, not a bore.
Bars are different, I swear. Look, I know this argument. You're
right, You're right there damn near the same thing. I don't like bores.
They're different. I think there's probably wild boars and there's you know how
there's different like there's different subgroups. There's different subgroups. But I feel like
just the ones that we're used to will because the people have already they've proven
that because you can, you can sell like you're right, you can set
up pig in the wild. Like's not even my argument. I don't care
about that. I'm saying that if we focused on domesticating pigs and having them
be like like fucking homies like we do with dogs, because there's so many
breeds of dogs that can't there helpless, they're not fucking we ruined them.
We ruined them group. I'm saying we could have done that with a lot
of different species, but dogs. We chose dogs. It just it made
the most sense, right. But I'm saying I think they clicked. I
think it clicked the most man. I think I think it made the man.
I don't think I think it might have clicked. But like the issue
is just like it's still an animal. It's still like if you all all
you have to do is watching the footage of people who own other animals and
see how much they act like fucking dogs too. Like I think I think
other animals have have like intelligence actions similar to dogs. But I think the
the timing of when we were how smart we were at the time, opposed
to when dogs shot up around us it worked the best. Definitely address that
was like that that made the most sense at the time. I'm saying now,
I think it's easily just like say it's it's just so simple, like
just look, there is countless hours of footage of people that would maybe even
not want to eat animals as much seen that footage, seeing footage of like
cow is just playing around like dogs, like seeing them jump around and being
happy and fucking fetching ship and stuff. Like. I agree, there's people
don't see that stuff, so then you know they they that they don't have
that connection. They only see it with dogs and cats. But then you
go to the other side of the world where they don't have that connections with
dogs and cats, and I mean, I think, to me, it's
just like I don't think they were just I just don't think they would taste
very good. But like that's really my only objection to eating a dog.
Are there any predators that taste good? Exactly? Probably? I mean that's
I just don't. I just don't. I just I don't. I personally,
I just don't care. Like if I was, I feel like there's
enough meat already. Why are we trying to get everything else? Right.
But I'll put it this way. Like if I was in like I don't
know, Thailand or somewhere, and I was at a restaurant and I was
fucking hungry and they were like, we've only got dog, I'd be like,
all right, you know, I'll have a whatever, fucking a burger.
I would just not have meat. I just went on meat. But
the thing is good. They only had meat that probably need We're kind of
that's crazy, That's what I'm saying. Liver King's fucking palace or whatever out
of fries, everything, no beans, no nothing. It was like,
all right, I guess would have to try to deliver King. I know
we kidnapped you, but we're gonna take good care of you. Welcome to
the liver King. Well that's that's his branch, the liver King. Well,
the liver King. We I know, I know we we knock you
out and and stoy here against your will, but we're gonna take good care
of you. There's a bent in my head and now my head's like my
bones are doing this. There's a little wet like if you touch it,
you feel like a little sluicing. It's like like touching someone's tummy. We're
at a good time. So would you do you want people liver or dog
liver? I've got a dog liver. I guess I could have imagined dog
liver stuffed with people living. There's no good answer to that. Do you
want dog liver? Something? People liver? People a little stuff for some
with dogs, and it's like like hole dogs. You put a puppy on
a fucking broil it. I'm just fascinated as to how those because I had
I've had Ostrich before, i'd be curious about having Gator and some I haven't
had Gator yet Fried Gator. Haven't had snake either, which I heard is
like interesting, I've heard good things about snake, never had it Fried Gator.
People swear by and by you like anywhere, like also fucking byo people.
You know they are, but they have amazing south Man Like that's some
good food. But I know, like, here's the thing though, here's
one thing that I feel like, why a lot of animals even talking about
like prey animals or whatever, sorry preedder animals. I feel like there's a
lot of animals that probably could taste good. It's just learning how to season
them. Because think about a seasonless chicken. It's very it's not good.
It's very gamey. It's very like, don't I would say, it's not,
it's not. It's just very I would say, like there's a there
is a game, there is a well. When you smell, smell a
chicken with that right, just smell the chicken, smell it without any seasoning
on. It has this like like it has this off thing. It's like
it kind of throws you off a little bit when you said the smell of
meat in generally, I guess, I guess beef doesn't smell bad at all.
Beef has I mean, it smells like beef, but it also smells
there's so much blood in it, like there's a lot of like that iron
yeap like I like my beef, pale, like my pale beef. It
looks like chicken like mine. When it's been out just enough where the blood
starts oxidating, it gets all brown. I love that. I still think
about that chicken. I still think about that chicken that Joe brought home that
one day that looks like steak and he ate it, eat it, he
ate it, he cooking it. I'm like Joe, No he's got an
iron stomach. Man. For now. Now when he turns forward, it's
gonna be crazy. Can we see it? Like I want to see the
ecosystem of worms that's like five's more worms than regular matter. And he's got
like more activity than like the old school barrier reef. Like you know when
it was like booming and ship and there's like, don't tell me about That's
one of the most sad things to me, Like the like the physical world.
It makes me really sad. I mean it is the idea of the
I mean what it's the ocean. It was like one of the most beautiful,
like genuinely, it was almost beaut thing I've ever seen in my life.
Actually, like I hate the ocean more than you do. Sure I
remember that, and it's it was beautiful. It was so much something like
beautiful and lemonies and like a little fishies. It was in our lifetime.
That's what's crazy. I remember being a little kid and never like yeah,
if we don't fix the way we're polluting the ocean, it's gonna go away.
And then I saw when I was graduate high school, and I was
like, what happened to him? Who did this to them? Well,
yeah, it's worse probably now it's white, a white white man. O
the Great Barrier Reef. I gotta say, I've never once thought about the
Great Berry Reef in my life. I only I only know about it because
of SpongeBob. Have you never seen it? No? I don't ral.
It would be like Greate Berrier Reef would be like something that I just remember
that, but there was there was another. It was a damn it,
damn it great because there is Ravioli Reva give me the form, but before
because he says, remember that, Raveo, rev give me the Formuoli.
But there was an actual like chant that they said. It was like something
eat something something something something great Berry. It ends with Great Barrier Reef.
I don't know. It's like, god, damn it. I remember a
lot of SpongeBob, but that one doesn't ring a bell. I think the
best sponge like this, the best individual line from that show is because there's
a lot that are like probably in the running I think individual line and individual
just just one line show. I gotta say, probably what that one is
like, Yeah, the jokes doing that practical joker, I think, I
think, when what did you do to my drink the same secret. That
guy's excellent. It's so good. What it's so much power that. How
many times did they tell you this, old man? How many times you
just lesson? Old Man's another good one, like the one when uh with
uh plankton I think he takes over the crystal crabber whatever and he was like,
is this some type of sick joke to you? Or this like an
idea of a joke to you? It was like he was like, what's
wrong with the like what's wrong with the fucking I think squid word was maybe
cooking the patties or something And he was like, I don't know what's wrong.
And he looks at the burger and he's like, oh my goodness,
oh yeah, and it's like green, and it's like, is this a
piece of wood in it? There was an eyeball in it too. It
was like what is it? It was? It was it was like,
hey man, is this how you get your sick kicks? It goes what
it's just an ordinary crabby Oh my goodness, so good, so good.
But there's somebody there's another part that episode too, where he goes like you
think this is funny and he goes in a coup. I think. I
think blankedon is such a funny character. There's so many lies of that,
show man I and so many of them are well. The thing about smiling
princesses too, I think we talked about it earlier. It's like they understand
how to deliver a mundane line, like a line of dialogu where if you
read it, it's nothing special in a way that is fucking perfect. There's
no better way to There was no better take than that version of Oh my
goodness, yeah one so good, one thousand percent. What's another really iconic
one? Here we go, this is this is the this is the line
meatball, meatball, spaghetti underneath. Remember that the Italian mustache? Yes,
I forgot about that formula. I remember that imitation crabs, man, in
imitation crabs. What's another? Do we not? All boy alloy? The
face that is drawn on that fish is perfect. I listened to a ten
hour loop of him going like, it's that is so motherfucking crazy. That
is I just remember that it's psychotic. It totally is. But that was
when I had bad time that what is a salad? Salad? Salad?
You're good, amazing man, and it's just there's careful SpongeBob. That one
is so fu And then what he does after he said, now it's my
turn and he pulls out an axe it wasn't open, and it's like it's
such a quick casual faces pulls out a giant. I love the animation on
his swing is so perfect because there's no weight to it, but there's density
and then he and the paint can like almost burst over. Amazing God,
it's such a perfect show man, it really is. Oh my god,
you know it's another good one. Mind your karma squid word and he blows
up and he gets kicked by the fucking thing. When he's on he has
mystery mysterysaisa Oh. That reminds me of we Wu. There's so many good
lines. He's just standing there walking right right sprinting the cops when the cops
show up. I love the line where he's like, stay indoor, sun
and take that cone off your head, like they're just so like, oh,
that's probably one of my favorite episodes. That is only the first two
seasons we're talking about, honestly, I know which is crazy. That is
only the first seasons in all those fucking ex scene moments. There's really not
there's never going to be a stronger first three season run, in the first
two season run and any anything. Probably it's really better than the Simpsons.
Yeah, better than the Simpsons because like the first couple of seasons, I
like them the Simpsons, but they're not nearly as strong as I really think
SpongeBob. I think SpongeBob is the general definer of what modern comedy is.
I think what modern people like where people like for our generation and like on
people are gonna be like, oh, based off SpongeBob, Like that's what
what's funny was at the time. You're right, And the funny thing is
it doesn't get the respect that it deserves. And if you think about it,
even think there's some people not from like the Powers that even though we
talk about it and we talk about how much we like, it's obvious,
but then you think about like say, memorabilia, gear, anything. Do
you have any SpongeBob stuff other than like maybe one thing maybe yeah, I
mean I have a handsome squid word painting like that, uhthom you have a
bathroom, So I was like, other than like that, like but nothing
else, Like I don't even I had I had a shirt and bras more
like belongs in the dress they have it can bread the way he ran to
it, Oh my god, they haven't. There's that scene too where it's
like he does it one of my favorite bits from that show. I don't
know if it's like a line really, but it's like that secult where he's
like where missus proff is in prison and they're talking about how they visit her
in prison and there it's Spongebrob and Patrick and she's and they're like, she's
forgot what it's like on the outside to be free. And then it cuts
to that guy and he's living the worst life. He's like in traffic,
he's a regular, he's in traffic sad, he's at work sad. He's
like staring out of his window at night sad. And then his wife goes,
are you coming to bed deer and he goes, I can't remember what
it was. I guess he's the same face. And throughout every sequel amazing.
It's something that we could not understand but also understand as a kid,
right, yeah, like we never experienced anything like that. Was number one.
He was number one, dude, Schmitty werm Jensen. That's it.
That's that's I. That's that's a name that I have no business remembering as
vividly you said it without any stutter. I know I was Mitty Werben Yerman
Jensen is in my head forever, and it'll never go away. I'll be
like ninety years old, sen Island. That'll be the only name. I
won't remember my son's name or like anything like that, or my daughter's husband's
day or anything. I thought his name whatever, But like I will always
remember smitdie Werbeniaggerman Jensen. Yeah, he was number one, dude. Oh
my god. Wait, there's way too many moments, way too many good
move dude. Yeah, the fact that you're that was I didn't I'd hate
it for a little bit too. I didn't believe that's too kiddy. And
then I got like I turned like sixteen again. I was like, this
ship is fucking well. I genuinely just at a certain point, I definitely
didn't enjoy it anymore because, like I mean, it is the first couple
of seasons that are like really like those there's two seasons, and those first
couple of seasons in the movie, I think are so good that like it
kind of almost doesn't it. The Simpsons kind of has the opposite situation going
on, where it's like the first it's good, but then it gets really
bad and it's been really bad for a long time, whereas like SpongeBob,
I just kind of feel like just got not. I wouldn't. I don't
know, it's not bad really, I just don't care for it. The
only thing that I remember feeling some clips of it, some of the newer
stuff, laugh, some of the newer stuff. The only thing. And
I might have mentioned this on the products before, because I'm sure we talked
about this once before maybe, and it was that there they were just bowling
squid word too much. It seemed like that was like going back to it
turned into like this making well just like I think it felt weird specifically because
as we grow older, we kind of get more like him. Yeah,
so it kind of feels like we're gonna say like like leave alone, dude,
Like I want I want Squod to have more ws, like he doesn't
have enough, Like say, yeah, I even thought it is so great
is squidword gets his W and he does get episode I get yeah it does
and then like even when he almost got a WLS, like when when you
know, when they did the imagine they were doing the imagination ship in the
box, like there was like robot Pirate Island or whatever, and like there
was He finally plays in it because he gets jealous and like I felt good
from even when the trash can was picking it up and he thought it was
actually working, from even though he got dumped in like you know, ruined
his like imagination. That was an amazingly written bit too, And that's a
really good That is a really well written part. It's really good. I
like it's working and he's just getting dumps in the trash. I love that,
dude. I loved how I loved this. So when he opens the
boxes when they're just looking up at him and they're so tiny. You guys
bought TV just to play in the box. He's the one thing about box
anymore. And he turns on the TV and he's like boxing and it's two
boxes just clashing against each other. I was like walking back to Championship Boxing.
Amazing. That show is so fucking dude. There's so there, there's
two, there's two, Like I'm just having all these flashes. They keep
coming in my brain as we talk about it. That shows so amazing.
I remember the I actually, so there was a brief while I liked poetry,
and then I got older and I'm like that shit's gay those like I
was like, I used to like the tautail Heart. Like, uh,
I hate poetry so much. I mean I do now too, But there
was a time where I thought like, oh, this is a pretty exquisite
and ship, and I would. I was kind of a little bit in
Shakespeare. Exquid you were into Shakespeare. So I had like a book of
all the sonnets, like this couplets and all this ship like I would.
Uh, I was. I was into it for a minute. I was
into I was in a writing. I was in a writing. And then
I got older. I'm like this fucking stupid dude. But like, but
I bring it up to say I love the reference uh of the tautail Heart.
Uh where fucking he got? H He got those squeaky ass boots and
I was driving mister crabs insane. He like buried them and it was just
the whole thing. And I thought that was so fucking brilliant. I was
like, this is most kids like my age, they wouldn't wreckgize the reference
because yeah, you know, I was just like, this is fucking I
found that out way later, yeah, way way later, definitely like high
school. I was like, oh, oh, it's that dumble some SpongeBob.
Wow, there's a scene from like a recent episode that I keep seeing
on Twitter that it's like, no, the best moment, continue continue sea.
Yeah, it's just the scene. It's definitely modern SpongeBob. But it's
like it's like Plankton on a date with his computer wife and it like cuts
to him or I think it's just on a random date with some fish or
something, but it cuts to him and it's like one of those like great
like really hyper detailed paintings. But then his mouth is just like human lips
and he goes it gets the y. It's what I say. I don't
I wouldn't know how to search for it as the thing. Can you can
you look forward? It's it's he said it was Plankton, Yeah, plankton,
but lips human mouth. Maybe plankton lips maybe plankton human mouth. SpongeBob.
I don't know. It is genuine like an event, like I love
it whatever, I have no idea what the context is. I haven't seen
that episode, but they still they still have moments still to this day.
Is that it? Yeah, but it's like he's it's it's a video.
The video of it is mister Crabs is fucking gear. Oh that's an awesome
I love whatever they did that, because they did that a couple of times
with like the Human They're like, yeah, they would do some stuff.
Yeah, oh man, they did. Uh do you remember the Hooky episode
Playing Hooky? One thing I love from that is because you know, they're
like psyching out the people that are fishing, and they cut to the scene
of the people on the boat and they're like upset. And I just love
how like this. I just love like like they're upset, they're visually they're
they're visibly upset, like so you can see like, oh, these they're
they think they're getting bites and they're jumping off for the last second, and
you see the guys in the boat. One guy takes off his hat and
he's like fuck. And I love it so much because you can to really
like you're not thinking about them fishing, and then you get to see them
like, oh, how fucking funny is that like they're they're totally fucking with
them and they're really upset that they're not getting anybody. There's also that uh
that that that clip's been going on on Twitter. It's not a clip anymore.
It's like like an image, but it's like that guy opening the toilet
and goes like, yeah, real nice. Oh that's oh that's real nice.
Oh that's real. Yeah. Yeah. That's my favorite scene about by
Far is I can't wait to get my license and I'll be out there in
the open road and he drives a car immediately it crashes. It's like a
two second image I can show you guys, right, it's fucking I don't
remember that wild dude. There's so many spongebobs. There's so many like I
like him, uh failing, like at the voting school and he goes like
we're him and Patrick are the boating school. I think he was like,
you know what's even funnier than twenty four? Dude? They made That's what
I'm saying. It's like none of these lines by themselves or anything, right,
twenty four? You know what's funnier than twenty four? Twenty five is
not funny? Yeah, I'd be like, okay, oh, that's what
he thinks driving is That is like what if you really think, if you
really think about the stuff that we laugh at, now, that's really dangerously
formative. Yeah no, it's literally the same ship. This cuts to real
life tragedies, because then they didn't they I think this can't be true.
They cut That's what got cut out of the episodes. This can't this can't
be true. But didn't. I must be making this up. They didn't
cut to the Hindenburg, right, there's no way. But I feel like
I remember this. I feel like I remember seeing it on you know what
I mean? Yeah, I wonder, I mean that could be easily verifiable
verified. I know they cut to a column mind color. I know they
often would cut to when they would nuke. When they nuked uh oh my
god, Bikinia Toll or something that were the island where they explode. That's
why they exploded to so much, because that's where it was. M all
right, right right, it's stupid and I'm not seeing Ketrick Lamar. Oh
yeah, not like us official music video. Yeah, it's finally out and
it's I don't know. I liked it a lot it's it's it's it's better
when you know all the subliminal messages within it. It's very Californian. It's
a very very very Californian song. Yeah, so it's it's exactly why I
didn't really care for once upon a time with it. It's like, say,
you don't know who you know who d Rose is? For example,
d ro shows up, you know, so it's like, oh, you
know, like it's there's there's a lot of they're doing the schmeeze and everything
and it they're doing like all the Bay Area things. A lot of California
centric artists like the part when they're going going by. That's like pretty much
every modern black California person ever is like that. So it's like Jesus Christ
bro and basically a lot of the things that Drake said he kind of disproves
in that video about say having a rocky relationship with his manager with Kendris manager,
Yeah, day Free and uh Whitney obviously they're so so like there's things
like that where it was cool. It was not like say, I think
it was once you like, say you have somebody break down the video for
you just capture everything and then it can be appreciated a lot more. Yeah,
probably because on the surface it's like, oh, this is cool,
but it's not like Yeah, I remember being a little underwhelmed by it because
I was like, yo, that that's a really bombastic song, and then
the video is kind of like, yeah, he wanted to go in a
very subtle way with it. He did, except for the pinata obviously,
like the fucking owl, because the owl has been Drake's like some before a
long time, like even on the second second album. I think is that
he's sitting down with that stupid fucking owl. Like you remember he sitting down
at that table and everybody was saying that that was Illuminati ship because they they
worshiped the Stone Owl Mollock, the Court of Owl. Yeah, so like
it basically basically too, I mean weird. I thought that she was.
I thought that she was like interesting until he got into it. I was
like, I have the pyramid on my back, bro. The first test
imagine, did you never notice that? I wouldn't know, I've never seen
your back before. You're like, Bro, what the fuck is on your
back? Bro? Was like, what do you mean, Bro? You
don't got the all thing on your back bro weird man. That would be
so crazy is this SpongeBob Now I get it's poisoned. I think I would
completely poison I think I would get a SpongeBob tattoo. I wouldn't know what
I would get from a SpongeBob as I think I think I might get like,
uh, I'll get a close up like one of the faces. Something.
I wouldn't want anything obviously. I would want something that like if you
if you were big into SpongeBob, you would recognize like almost like like thetoo
get a tattoo of the car crash. No are you getting? You get
you get the mom tattoo upside down for a whole. That's ways one.
That's what I'm talking like, it would be something like that, or like
I would get like I don't know, maybe even bold and brash or something
or I or the squid word drawing milk it is right, Yeah, yeah,
that's where. Yeah that's another one. More like the really really artisiclarly
drawn? Oh are I? Oh? The like maybe the written in that
crazy That's the kind of stuff that I like, Like I don't want it
to be obvious like what it is. Yeah, Like I don't like people
reading like It's why I don't want to have any I don't have any tattoos
with like words in them. I don't want people like reading them. I
just want them to be like iconography, and if you recognize them, cool,
If you don't, you just think it's a good image. I really
want a tattoo. This is a tattoo that was really funny. But I
want a tattoo of the bat. But I want him doing like the shoot
himself in the head thingland. I think that'd be such a funny fucking tattoo.
But people would get so mad seeing it. No one. I don't
think the people that would be offended would understand even this. They wouldn't even
get them. They wouldn't even get the like the comedy of it, or
like that, oh that's that's cute. I think they would imediately just be
like, oh, you're a fucking devil worshiper. It's a joke. It's
a joke that it doesn't let me tell you, the whole joke is the
whole that's the one that I wouldn't get on me, just because like it's
it's just it's I don't especially explaining, like you know, I don't want
to that won't be. That would be like an explainable one unless you get
in a place where it's not visible right right right forehead. The idea of
getting that I did getting something like that no matter if you're not a fucking
weird person. It's like, dude, why do you have that tattoo on
your faith? Would you get tatto on your face for for let's let's say
five million dollars if it turns into a mask? Yeah, what do you
mean tattoo? A mask on my face? Like a door? What I'm
saying like, yeah, would you get like a little circle or like,
you know something? Would you with your scouter? That a scouter, a
two dimensional flat scouter on your face is so stupid. It looks so fucking
bad bad there is that might be. I am not exaggerated. That might
be the worst tattoo ever suggested. Ever, that is the worst that someone
can possibly it has it. There's too many people on this planet for it
to not exist. No scouter the way I see the bros. Okay,
because I'm gonna find the tattoos of a scouter, but it's probably not gonna
be on the face. So I don't know if I have to put face.
Getting a colored scouter tattoo on your face is crazy with the little symbols,
the triangle, the L and a weird symbol. I don't know.
Yeah, so I'm just saying, of course over nine thousand, See,
I wouldn't do that. Yeah, I wouldn't put over. I wouldn't tattoo
over nine thousand on me. The dragon balls are probably the hardest one to
do because like dragon ball Z is like everything everything from it is iconic,
so like it would you, I mean I would get like maybe dragon balls.
I do like the idea of the moden M. The margin M is
cool. But like forehead, well, if if someone's gonna pay me a
lot, no, I wouldn't do it. I was gonna say, if
you pay me a lot of money, I don't even think for a lot
of money I would. I I would get a face tattoo for like five
million dollars. Would spend like a couple I don't know, a couple of
getting it removed, Okay, you gotta keep it. Why, I guess
that would be this. I guess that would be the stipulation, right like
because then it's like, why would I pay you money to get it removed?
I guess, I guess you still have this scar kind of that.
Yeah, it's true. I would get them, all right, you win.
So far, I have not seen somebody do it. I can't find
one. You looking for scouters. I'm looking for a scouter tattoo, But
the problem is you you're just gonna get You're getting tattoos of people with kind
with yeah exactly, yeah, No, I mean a tattoo like some artistic
rendition of the scouter. It would be cool, like if you could figure
out a way to make that, you know. Yeah, I want to
trusting so bad before, I'm kind of I just don't want it anymore.
Now I want one really back growing up, and I'm like you over it.
I waited too long. Yeah, you waited too long. I mean
not the no time can't get after after thirty five. There's no time limit.
But it's like, what's the point, like it's overunded. Well,
my mom got one to us, like I think in her fifties. I
mean, it's just there's no there's no there's no time limit in all time
limit. But for me, it's a new legislation to this leg Supreme Court
just actually in Project twenty twenty five, actually a lot to get a tattoo
past twenty five or past twenty or past fifteen or past one or past one
past one. Can you imagine how? Because you know, people will will
pierce their infant's ears, which I think is a little insane. So like
a tattoo, they get a little baby, a tattoo, does it grow
with them? Like what happened? Actually know that? Actually that's why you
can't do it. I think that's really I think it would stretch, it
would look really bad. That's why, like Laura Kenny doesn't have an adamantium
skeletons. He's still growing up. This is all like it's like, oh,
that's why he doesn't have it, because like why did they give her
all automated grow stuck like brow? I really yeah, I wonder what that
would look like. I think it would look really warm. Surely they've like
I don't know, you'd imagine they like they tatto like maybe maybe baby livestock,
you know what I mean? Like I would imagine that that's probably something
that their ears. Definitely tattoo babies, I'm sure some fucking Look, dude,
there are pedophiles that do worse things to babies. So I think there's
some people have fucking Like you have a baby a full back tattoo, and
a lot of times full back it would just look like it's two eighty having
grows up. It's just four forty p max. It'll look tattoo. It
look really fucked up, really bad, because the way tattoos work is crazy,
Like the way your body's just constantly fight the ink to not spread,
and it's like, what would you what do you do when the skin grows?
It's so weird. I can't even imagine. They get tattoos and it
gets flirty, ink gets forced out of them. Yeah, and the skin's
not and the skin's not growing evenly necessarily, you know what I mean.
It's like growing at different rates depending on like slightly. That's that would be.
That would be fact fucking fascinating somebody who's having a babysoom tattooed them.
Yeah, for the experiment we want to see. Come back to us in
five years, come back to us in ten years, come back to us
in fifteen years. Picture of the tattoos. I'll be dead, I'll be
dead in Yeah, you'll definitely be My friends. Their their their their goals
are pregnant. So I'm gonna convince one of them. Yeah, yeah,
I do it, dude. Even if it's just like a circle, yeah,
I want to see whatever it's a circle. What I'm most curious about
is like if the circle will remain a circle, or if it'll be like
kind of like wiggly, you know what I mean. Like I think skin
isn't doesn't grow in a uniform way. I think it might be like an
oval. I think that's what would happen. Maybe, Yeah, I have
no concept a bigger circle or either big to do a square. I then
I I don't know what life is anymore. I don't know. I don't
know how that happens. I don't know how that works. Maybe Terrence Howard's
correct about stuff, because nothing makes sense to me. That's yeah, we're
living in the Terrence how Howard world. If that's if that's you know,
the motherfucker came back on his Joe Rogan's podcast since we talked about him,
Like, yeah, I didn't I didn't know. I saw footage and I
got a new language to pitch. I don't know what all I saw was
this. I saw that he had a new hairstyp so he got corn Rosie,
he did his hair. I guess you wanted to be more presentable.
He came with that fucking idiot Eric Weinstein, who's one of Joe Rogan's friends.
He's like some mathematicians, some fun was he the guy with the obviously
fake hair? Yeah? I met him, Yeah you met him. I
met him a long time ago. I met him at Dave Ruben's house of
course. Oh he was there. Yeah, yeah, oh interesting. He's
complimenting me, and I remember being like, oh yeah, okay, that's
right. They were who you are? What was it called the dark Web
thing? What did they call themselves? The intellectual dark dark Web? Intellectual
intellectual Sam Harris and somebody else. Sam Harris pieced out so fast, that's
so funny. He was like, you guys are stupid. So funny.
Yeah, because he doesn't talk to Joe and not even talk to any of
those people anymore. Like immediately he was like, you guys are fucking awful,
like like he least he still has some podcasts. Well, I'm he's
talking about like the intellectual doctor by people I don't think has. So he
has a podcast and he also launched an app that's like for meditation. So
like I checking on him every once and wh't to see what he's doing,
because he he was somebody that was like straddling the line. He dipped his
toes into like what was going on in our community on YouTube and then he
was like this is awful and he fucking left. So I just kind of
want to see, like what is he up to? I remember him talking
about like when all those all right people infiltrated in and they were talking about
like what were they talking about the like the Bell Curve and all this crazy
ship about what what am I looking for? Like, oh, black people
are genetically thank you that that's what I was looking for. He started talking
about this ship and he was like he was so you can see you can
You can hear the exhaustion in his voice and loses he loses faith in anything
that he's ever was like, oh man, he was like we can and
then I was I was like, all right, yeah, he's this dude's
gonna be gone fast. And he was anyway, uh yeah, so is
funny. Bro. I'd watched I'd watched like funny. It's two hour long
things. People going on so frustrated. It's so frustrating, it's hilarious.
I just don't care anymore. It's funny as fun bro, Look it's not
why. Here's the reason why it's not funny to me. Too many people
believe it. That's the thing, Like, too many people. Too many
people are like, uh, you know what. Black people are late because
of genetics. I'm like, what, like they believe this ship Yeah,
genetic day the low cue genetic kid, I look at theroid. Yeah yeah,
there's too livid. God, I did, I did. I listened
to one presentation of some fucking races professor, because people are and I'm like,
he starts, okay, let's just listen. We'll move on. But
he studied the last Zulus, like, he studied the Zulu. So he
was in like South Africa or somewhere, not maybe in the country specific,
but he was in I think there's a lot of Zuls there. But anyways,
long story shorts, aora are you talking about anyway? So he studied
the Zulu tribe and because of what he observed, he extrapolated that onto black
people in general. And I was like, I'm listening to a a fucking
presentation that a guy is saying this tribe did this this, and that therefore
black people do this. Was that tribe lade like a question? No,
okay, he was saying, okay, he was saying, Oh, the
Zulus don't have they don't have an abstract concept of a promise, like they
didn't even have a word for it, like for a promise. And then
he somehow took that and was like, that's why them niggas don't fucking do
ship or so it was kind of like in a way that he was that's
what he can't promise things. And it's like it was in a way that
I was like, I can't believe what I'm fucking. I mean, that
is like mega interesting from like a from just like a studying that tribe.
If there was this dude was not a racist, and he was, and
because he's racist, I wonder if that's even true, that's the only problem.
If he was just a neutral, like guy, I want to study
I want to learn about the Zoo tribe, and then that's actually true,
I'd be like, that is interesting that they didn't have a concept of well,
it's kind of like, what is it that. I know you're not
supposed to say this word, but I don't know how to talk about the
indigenous snow people, like what do you? I don't know what to say.
I don't know if that's I don't I don't know if that is that.
I don't think any. I don't think the word is a correct word.
What would we call whatever, like Native Americans of the Canada, the
Canadian Native Americans? Yeah, whatever, Like there's some it might be in
you. I don't know, but there's like I guess they have like a
million different words for like snow, but none for like I'm sorry or something.
I remember hearing this somewhere that's interestingly like fascinating. No, it's right
right now, the term, and so they just have to why is eskimo
bad? Though I don't think it's bad. Was a phrase that was used
to describe and that's probably not accurate indios. I think it's like that where
it's like, it's not a slur. Really, it's just kind of like
a make a made up word that they don't it's not it's not okay,
okay, that makes sense. It would be like if I feel like one
group is called eskimos. It would be like if if if you, if
you guys named yourselves black people, and then I came and it's like,
oh, look you're cornbread people and you're like, well, we're not.
It's not a slur exactly, but like I think, in fact, call
us hellcat enjoyers. Now last night, Oh my god, from right this
is I don't know where I found it or like if I saw it on
Twitter or if somebody said it to me, but this is this is.
Look, I don't know if this is real, but I did. I
saw it and it seemed believable enough to me where I'm like, yo,
that's crazy. I saw this this image that was basically like there was a
screenshot of like Wikipedia or some database or something. It was like describing the
origins the origins of the phrase elephant in the room, and do you have
the picture? Can you read it? Because I can't say that. Yeah,
that's true, you can read it. I mean I could, but
like, you know, yeah, whatever the phrase enid would pause a figure
of speech from me and I stumbled through it. Yeah. I literally just
said it literally the United States and it means something suspicious and wrong. Start
over, give me, give me. He was just give me it.
You had to start over because he was talking over you, give me,
give me it. The phrase the phrase N word in the wood pile hard
are is a figure of speech from the United States, and it means something
suspicious and wrong. The phrase was commonly used from the late eighteen hundreds the
early nineteen hundreds, but stopped being used due to people disliking the N word
and seeing a negative connotation to the word in the late nineteen hundreds. To
the present day, the phrase has been replaced by the phrase elephant in the
room in many books due to political gregness. I mean due to just I
mean, I wouldn't even say that, not even they're just like this,
like N word in a wood pile is crazy. I feel like, if
this is true, it should be very easy because everybody, anyone who has
a phone and they have an old book, and if they read that,
they would take a screenshot of that. They would they would pick a picture
of nward in a wood pile or whatever. If it doesn't even mean the
same thing anymore, Well, it's so crazy. They've grown so detacted.
Yeah, because finding that out is insane, because like the elephant in the
room is like something that you should obviously talk about. It's like something that
like should we talk about this? But that kind of implies is that like
it's something like in disguise, you know what I mean, where it's like
this is like, yeah, a piece of pile black people like black person
in a wood pile is kind of like there's something suspicious and almost like an
be sprung up on you. Yeah, like that does belong there. Yeah,
something something's going on there. There's an an word in this woodpile.
I'm sure that's crazy. I'm like I saw it and I couldn't believe.
I was like, I have to I have to send this to you guys.
Oh yeah. Racism in literature is so funny. It's so Beyonce.
It's like why they say that. Yeah, in The Revenue, when he
calls that guy a tree in word, I'm like what. In Tarnation,
I thought it was crazy, and the Revenant went that the bear said it
even my favorite parts, when my favorite part is when in fact attacked the
bear and instigated the problem. The bear was like, I don't want to
fight you, man, go away, bears growling, he's getting attacked the
bear gets he's grown, he's growling black slurs at. I was just thinking
about that. In fact, he in fact keeps calling Leo mister candy,
and it's like, mister Candy, you're not scared of him, mister Candy.
Aren't you scared of him? How'd you end up in the past,
mister candy. I watched them the World the World of Warcraft movie for the
first time yesterday. Oh really, yeah, because so what I was never
never even because I wanted to see why people hated it so much and stuff.
Because I went to my friend's house that was like, wo no,
there was a black girl, goblin, there was ork you know, she
was like a half breed or something. Wouldn't be But it's it's kind of
woke that they're not all you know what, what excuse me? How is
it not with I'm gonna go I'm I think for black people. But see,
the thing is, I think that's so insane. If anything, are
Native American people, if anything, no, there's like no, no,
no, Like like if we're gonna draw a knowledge between anyone, I think
it's obviously like just Native people. I think they're obviously angry authistics. Yeah,
and the thing is and warcraft literally are the voices that they give orcs.
It's always these cock me fucking dude. So I was gonna this is
why I was bringing this up. I can't remember what it was, but
it was about magic and it was it wasn't. They didn't say it didn't.
It was essentially like saying spirit chucker, but it was saying something like
the guy called him like a like a magic chuck or a spirit chucker or
something, and I was like, what WHOA? Like I was, I
was like, I was taken aback because I'm like I you could immediately understand
why he's saying that. It's a fucking so it's just a slur against anyone
who does magic, I guess. And I was like, that's crazy that
this is in this fucking movie. That movie sucked. Though you're knocking down
to orc pure bread or like half we were talking. I would try because
I feel like they would carry you the pieces, but like I knock a
female down, I would try. But the thing is, because you see
how big the orcs are, can how the funk can we can we handle?
Pure bread is a regular or going for it, bro, I'm going
for it. No try, I'm gonna take I'm gonna joke over for a
whole week. I'm gonna take like three extends per day. I'm gonna have
like four rhino pills in and I'm gonna go in there and give them all
and to have a heart attack burst right after simultaneously bust Dan your heart burst
and they can rest, they can re erect me. Is this magic,
bro? That is the best time? That is the best way to go
though it? No man, no, no, when's the okay, how's
the best way to die? I'm not gonna say a terrorists, but like
I'm not gonna say it. I'm just not gonna say it. Okay,
Okay. I was thinking maybe having a blissful orgasm and then dying would be
pretty cool. Dude. I want to I want to die, Like I
want to die, like a roadside bombing or something like that. Like I
want to. I want I want to blow up and I want people to
feel the effects of me dying. I wanted to be other people's problems.
Yeah you are. So here's the thing we were we gotta record to today
right No we missed so no, no, so what because we're we're too,
we're too uh spread apart, We're too We're too We're past the point
on no return. We should have recorded before. So what's gonna happen?
And I'm saying this live does matter, is that I'm gonna message and be
like, hey, we fucked up, you know, because we did,
and so we're skipping because basically an episode is supposed to drop today, right,
but it's just we just missed it. Yeah, I put I wrote
a thing in the beginning of the month that said the schedule will be fucked
in June generally because we were trying to figure stuff out. So we did
miss it. We just missed it, and then we're they basically we're just
gonna reset, and so this coming up Wednesday, we're gonna do normal.
Yeah, J'll like going forward to the schedule will be back to normal.
Catching up doesn't make any sense right now? Yeah, yeah, Okay,
the episodes are longer too, so they are much longer by this. July
Ary is crazy. It's the seventh month, right, yeah, the side
with month, and I feel shitty because I haven't really done anything, like
we've done stuff the podcast. I mean, I want to go I want
to go somewhere I haven't gone. I feel like I haven't really I really
want to go to Puerto Rico, but I feel like I just can't.
I can't take that much time. Where Where have I gone? Some of
this? What do you mean you can just just do it? Just set
it up. It's I don't know. We'll we'll do the podcast traveling.
I'm already going to London in September to London. We're doing that. We're
doing Uh. I don't know if I could say I don't give a ship
all right, whatever, how I went anywhere this winning this year and I'm
kind of bummed about it. No, I want to San Diego. You
didn't go to Diego's was not really it doesn't because you can catch a train
there too. The freaking Diego was like going to the city like it would
be like if we were talked about like, oh we went to the city,
you know when we lived in where we where we lived before. I
want to go to the Redwoods. I haven't been there yet. Joshua Tree.
Actually, I want to do something. I want to take I want
to take streams to go to Joshua Tree. When I get lost. Don't
do that don't do that nighttime. You'll walk off and you'll end up somewhere
you'll never figure out. Pay someone to hunt you too. That's crazy.
That's great what I'm telling you. You know, it's crazy. Like I
said, I took an edible last night. We were watching The Cat and
the Hat because it's the only real estate that you can watch that movie in.
And uh, when I was coming home, I got into the uber
and I was immediately scared. It's like something about the vibe of the guy
vibe. It was high, I was high, it was dark. I
went from like a really loud environment to like a really quiet one, and
I was just like, this guy's gonna fucking killing rate in that order,
in that order, hopefully, right. I wouldn't prefer that ideally. Ideally
is a weird. But the reason so, there's a guy that buried a
dead body, raped the girl, strangled her, buried the body, came
back and sucked her again. That's so crazy. It's wrong with people there.
Yeah, exactly exactly that all right. Well, the reason I brought
that up on the show is because, like I thought we would, if
we're gonna record again, we'll bring this next topic up in that episode.
But since we're just doing this one because we didn't get to the elden Ring
discussion, which is the big thing. So and then we'll wrap up the
questions bringing up right now with it. I think we should. Yeah,
we don't have to cut any of this out, but I think, uh,
yeah, so the Elder elden Ring obviously shout of the trees huge,
it's in the conversation still huge, huge, DLC. It's really fucking good.
Although I have to say it's good, but like the exploration I feel
like is not as good as the base game, which obviously is to be
fair, it's like a very different situation. But it's it's largely very very
very very well liked. But I think there's this There's been this big conversation
online on Twitter about whether about accessibility, yeah, and about easy modes and
stuff and like, oh, should should this game have an easy mode and
whatnot? And the conversation kind of evolved into this this thing where people are
asking for a pause button, a pause button specifically in frum Soft Games and
elden Ring, because that would help with accessibility and it would just be convenient,
And that's kind of spawned this whole debate that's going on. I know
a lot of peers it was like the focal point of it for some reason,
even though she's not really the first person to say this, but you
know, what's her name, A lot of peers, A lot of peers.
Yeah, I think I don't. I wouldn't want to pause by I
wouldn't A pausebon doesn't hurt first thing, hurt the game. You usually you
don't have to use it, simple as that samething with like a easy mode.
If I really come to agree with Derek with that argument mode use it
or you don't use it. Whatever. If it's there, it's there.
If it's not, it's not. I think that pausing during boss fights would
take myself out of the emerging because I feel like it's boss fights in particular,
those particular moments are very like not intimate, but very like like intense,
you know, And I feel like pausing during a boss fight, having
a really to do that would kind of fuck up those interactions. Why would
it? Huh? Just like I feel like for me this in my mind,
I'm like, do you feel like you would use it? Then I
wouldn't use it. I haven't used it right now. No, No,
that's what No, that's what I'm saying. I already already stated that,
like if you use it or you don't use so, I mean, your
scenario is just completely non existent. But it's it's only just in my in
my mental state. That's like if I'm mistakenly positive or something like that,
or something goes on, it's not it's not a real problem. It's not
a detriment to the game. I would admit that. I don't. I
think it's been like this for so long. People have made the game but
have the pausebuond for so long. You know, not that your critiques don't
come up. Critiques of a thing can come up well after it's come out.
That's very possible. You know, some things exist in the way they
are. Then after morphas Pulina you're like, oh, that's kind of problematic,
that could be fixed. Yeah, so I understand that. I just
feel like it's been like this for so long, and it's you know,
we've made it through the game. That's a fucking two year old video game.
Uh, there've been no pause buttons in most of them for years,
and none of them only only second round you can pause second I don't remember,
it's been too long, so I played it, but like that's the
only one you can do it in and it's just like I guess, yeah,
I think you can, but I've been playing it recently kind of yeah,
I don't remember. Uh, But that's I guess. That's the thing
that every to me every game that's not online. Say, for example,
if you go offline mode, I think immediately you should be available to have
a pause button. Yeah, I agree. Like to me, it's it's
the most nonsensical fucking thing because some of the arguments she's making. It's even
in things that I've experienced. I've experienced things like I need to go into
the fucking door real fast, and I have to leave and get my ass
whooped, and then I'm upset that I had to leave the game. Now
understand that that doesn't bother me in an setting. In a PC setting,
I could fucking you know, open the task and then I can stop the
game. So I have that privilege of doing that with PC. But if
I'm on a fucking console, I don't have that privilege. I had BRO
they did that ship for I remember the first time I played reson Evil six,
I was like, oh, let's play, and then I was like,
I need to pause, and I'm like, I can't pause. I
was fucking flabbergasted. I was like, why the fuck can I pause in
that game? In particulars, While I think obviously for the firm software games,
they're built with the online intention initially upon the framework of it, it's
not innately in the game. For me, it's like I I waunched my
ship in offline mode because honestly, I hate seeing all the fucking shadowy people
run around distracting. I often used to it, but yeah, I launch
an offline mode like always because I'm like, well, first of all,
I don't I don't do PvP on those things. I did PvP because people
talk me into the second one because like, you gotta play Dark Souls too,
you gotta play Dark Sousul p VP. It's fucking awesome, it's fun,
and so like I was like, all right, fine, and then
I actually never went back to any of the other ones. So anyway,
so yeah, I think this one to me almost like this one's universally.
I don't know why anybody would have a problem with. I understand there's people
with the easy mode. I understand the people that are that would push back
again, I understand why they push back. I still think they're wrong,
but I understand why they're pushing back. The pause one, I don't see
any legitimate because the thing about the easy mode is that there is a conversation
that we had there about like listen, if you're going to have various difficulties,
that means you have to put various amounts of resources into designing and balancing
for those separate difficulties. That's development time. That's a lot of tuning.
That makes a lot more sense than just streamlining your development and making sure that
your game just plays in a balanced way from one set one set difficulty.
I can see that from like a resource management, from like a just an
expense management, From like a design perspective, it makes sense to not have
multiple difficulties. And I get that from their perspective. But like, a
pause button takes no time, none, It doesn't affect the game at all,
it doesn't affect other plays. There's no good reason to not have a
pause button. Really, online mode, there's an offline mode. Yeah,
yeah, Like if it's online, I get it because it's just like like
we're used to Destiny and like all these other things like it's online online,
you can't you can't pause online? Insane you imagine, and the seeing Yeah,
because that's how it would work. Literally, if one person pauses,
everyone would have to pause. Yeah, what the fuck? So I understand
in that capacity, and I understand if you're playing, if you're playing that
game with the online functionality on, yeah, okay, then you probably you'll
have pause disabled if you're playing offline and you're not gonna let's say you're playing
ellen Ring and the Etherne's out and you have like no internet at all,
no good reason why you can't pause. I don't even think. I don't
even think the immersion thing is a valid complaint because the pause button is for
breaking immersion. That's what's what it's for. Literally, there's no immersive reason
to pause a game for me. For me is I've gotten to the end
of the road with it being like I don't know, man, Like i
feel like I've never I've like i've definitely like what's happened, I've spoked that,
I've I've loved lost fights and I'm like, ah, that sucks,
But I don't know. That's not enough to deter me. It's not it's
not really, it's just a good addition. I understand the argument for having
For me, it's just like whatever whatever, because I feel like if I'm
a beat a boss and be a boss, you know, yeah, I
understand. I don't understand what you're saying. I just I just don't understand
why somebody would oppose a pause, bud. It's so weird. It confuses
it confounds me, Like I really it can confused me. At first that
was like it just hasn't had it. So I don't know, I don't
feel like it needs it. Like you're saying about the like you gave an
argument from especially a developer's perspective, that makes perfect sense. I don't think
there's an argument for the not having it. There's a pausible but yeah,
there's there's I don't think there's one. Yeah, So like in that,
I'm like, at the very least, like I understand like the pause,
I understand the allocation of buttons and why there needs to be like a very
specific thought process behind that. So like the start button in a game like
that should go to your like inventory and your equipment, and that maybe doesn't
need to pause the game really that specifically, but there should be a way
in the pause button to like pause again or something, you know what I
mean. Yeah, Like it's like like even if you were just holding the
button or something. Yeah, or just like a double click where it's just
like, okay, listen, we're done something. Because I don't necessarily I
don't like the idea of like like me going into my inventory and then my
game stops like that. That's kind of annoying. I get that from an
immergent perspective. Is the button called now the select button whatever it is?
Oh my god, it's like back and yeah whatever yet recording something I don't
know, let's start recording or something like that. No, No, that
opens up your opens up setting. It opens up your settings. So say,
if you want to quit the game, you hit select whatever it is.
Yeah, you get selected and open up your options so you can actually
control some you can edit some stuff. You can fuck with your your display
or your audience. Like the PlayStation control quit the game is the touch pad
because because the select button is now like the share button. Oh right,
right, the men for that, God damn it. Yeah, that's crazy.
It used to be starting select, yeah, and then there was like
on Xbox I remember was starting back, which is like at least that start.
Yeah, but like now it's the option. It's like options in menu
and menu I guess, or on Xbox's view and then menu. It's just
like, what does that even mean? I don't know. They're still starting.
They're still starting select. To me, they always will be. If
I tell somebody to press select, they will understand what I'm saying. And
if they don't, you're too young to be playing with me anyway, right,
you don't know what's starting to select? Me crazy? Yeah? What
do yeah? Giving it? Giving it does? It doesn't? It doesn't,
it doesn't. It's only going to be positive. It is only going
to be a positive for people's gaming experience. They're gonna say people that even
the people that are fucking let's just say for the argument, there's people that
are opposed to it once they experience it, like, oh, yeah,
this is good. I was I was opposed to at first because of the
fact that's it's it's sometimes you like funk like even that sometimes, I mean
you saw that you're talking about breaking immersion. I mean sometimes like I really
want people to there. There are like when you think about even some of
the most intense whatever uh basketball sports, there are fucking timeouts, like in
the most intense and the most important moments like we can't fuck this up.
And I feel like some people would like the option to even break the immersion
bracing themselves, like especially in like maybe a phase two, like okay,
fuck, I gotta I gotta calm down, because sometimes you get hit a
few times. But that's my throat. That's that's how I am. Some
people want to spend something beating one person. They would love to see if
they can beat them in like the first go yeah, I get it now,
I know. On the firm to be fair, I know there'd be
people that would be like, well, it's bullshit, and and again it
goes back to when I was arguing for the other people, like it's not
for you though, sir, like you don't have you have no capacity.
I have to use it. And then it's just for other people like this
is so fu convenient. You can even disable it and have like a trophy
or achievement for beating the game. And I was, I was on the
other side of the fense until I know it's like yeah, you know when
I really think about it. I think it's just fine. I always on.
The thing about it to me is like, I know there are a
lot of games that don't have pause buttons that like open like you'll pause it
and the game will still be going on in the background that that are not
online that I noticed that on console. This isn't true with elden Rings as
far as I know, I don't think so. Yeah, but with elden
Ring or with with other games kind of like it where you press start and
it doesn't pause the game. I know it's on console. If you bring
up like the PlayStation button or like the the Xbox Guide, it will pause
it. So like there are like every game can be paused. I think
even elden Ring has some option that like I think it got patched out or
something. It was. Yeah, there was a way like if you went
into the start menu and then you press help, the game would freeze.
So it's the ability is there, the functionality is there. Interesting. I
don't really see a good argument. People like people were like pouncing in Alana
and I just didn't really get it. I didn't know. I saw some
people even it was over. It was over. Yeah, it was overshot.
There was some people that were on her on her choice language, and
they didn't understand that what she was using she was she used something something disability
there. It's a situational disability, which is like I think people are looking
at that from and I get it if you don't understand. I feel like
that phrase is a weird phrase, but it's right to use the right word.
It's it's the words that are used in game design, like it is.
It is how they talk about these specific situations. Yeah, it's like
it's like there are situational disabilities that that aren't like literal like disabilities in the
way that you would kind of colloquially talk about there. There they are.
They are momentarily in hibb and things that inhibit their way to be able,
your ability to be able to play the game. Yeah, And I feel
like using the word disability feels like it could have been work. It could
have been named better, It could have been named better, but it was
but it was No, no, no, no, no, She's right
though, one hundred percent. At the end of the day, she is
correct for the words she used. Yeah, it's kind of how I feel
about, Like, I don't know in in coding how it used to have,
like do you remember how like encoding it used to have like master enslave
you remember it's like that, Like I said, like it's it's I don't
know. It could have been in theory, it could have been named better.
It wasn't and so that's all. And so it wasn't and so she
used that, And there was people that were straw man and that didn't understand,
or maybe some people didn't understand. They were still doing it because they
whatever. But yeah, it was some people that didn't understand and understood,
and everyone would say things, well, we know where we're at. It
just rates me, especially with a lot of that, because she's probably like
one of the most even keeled, reasonable people I have ever met in this
space, Like there's like literally nothing at all and then it's crazy. So
she's objectively well certified for spaking about she's speaking about like she knows she's talking
about in that instance problem all she that is her job, her job for
one of the most accessible games that come out is God of What Ragrock.
It's accessibilities off the fucking charts, and she was a very much so huge
factor. It's definitly being created, you know, and that's just when she's
saying what she's saying that she knows what she's talking about. Dude, the
words she used kind of you know, they were like, well, they
scrambled me a little bit. But there are people outside of there's like there's
gaming lingo and then there's development lingo, and there's certain like the overlap between
those two is very very limited. It didn't do. I'm like, I
don't know what it because it's just when you say the words. And I
guess it's because it's like I guess sometimes people get thrown off where you can
put two words together, you know, change, And I feel like,
so when somebody says situation with disability, I understood what she meant. Oh
yeah, because you have this thing called to be able to understand context clues.
It's fat understand you know what I mean. It's like, my cock's
not literally obese. It is run into the cox. My cock is obese.
It's a cock. It's not that big of an a genuine good example.
Yeah, I don't know, like I saw some people. I saw
something. I admit, like when I heard it the first because I didn't
know about that term, right, So when I saw it. When I
saw it, I was like, oh, that's a funny way to describe
that. But like I understood immediately, and I don't think people really gave.
People had like a knee jerk reaction immediately, as they do as people
one to do. But I don't know. It's just very so and I
saw people getting offended. It's like, my kids aren't a disability. No
one made that fucking argument, man, like that that straw manning bullshit,
whereas they just got to like throw ship out there and like this, we're
gonna focus on this thing now. That's what I hear. There are people
who take it. It's such a weird example of a phrase too, because
it's like it's something that people are both taking to literally and not literally enough,
you know what I mean, Because a situational disability is literally something that
occasionally disables you from playing the game. Yes, literally, that's what the
the etymology of the world understood it. I understood what like, especially referring
to a pause button. I'm like, I completely understand what you say.
I completely understand what you're saying. And yeah, man, I think I
think, yeah, I think I think it's at the same time, I'm
glad when she like this happens because it gives an opportunity for people to understand
why some people would want some of this stuff, and we can actually talk
and have discourse and explain examples of like say, development giving a better accessibility
options. Even say I was talking to my friend He's gonna play Assassin's Creed
Odyssey, because he was just like, he doesn't play very many games.
He plays like two a year or something, and he's like, fuck it,
I'm just gonna buy something. It was like like a Madden or like
NFL. No. No, no, he's like because he's actually he's playing
Elden Ring and he just he's he just beat Red Dead two. That's fascinating.
But then he's a two fascinating games for a person to play. He
doesn't play game, to be fair, he used to game a lot back
in the day, and then he just kind of like time caught up with
him and he's like, fuck, I'm just gonna play just a couple a
year or something. I'll just I'll extend the content. He was like,
Okay, this is a long game, and it was like five dollars Saturs
Creed Odyssey and I was talking to him about it, and I was like,
one thing that I really liked about it is how versatile it is where
you can put it on explorer mode where it doesn't tell you shit. It's
almost like a fucking from software game where you have to on your own.
That was what almost made me play it. Yeah, it was cool.
And then also say, for example, you are a stealth person, you
love stealth missions, you can put that difficulty all the way up, and
you don't really like combat that much, you can put that ship down or
vice versas. Yeah, that's cool. It was cool, like just giving
like I wouldn't expect developers that one of the two. I think the New
Tumora of Games did something like that too, where they had like puzzle difficulty,
combat difficulty, and exploration difficulty and it was on a slider like that's
cool. I fucking dude, puzzles, I could give a fuck less about
it, especially in a game like that. Like if I'm playing a puzzle
game, yeah, you know what challenged me with the puzzles. If I'm
playing Portal, give me a hard something hard. But like if I'm playing
tomb Raider or fucking like Uncharted, where I'm like running around climbing shit and
shooting people I don't want to, or like even Resident Nevil to honestly some
extent where I'm like, some of the puzzles so stupid, dude. I
love them, but yeah, I almost always end up looking them up.
There's some that I get, but then immediately if I if I'm spending like
five minutes on a puzzle or longer, I'm like, this is not the
fun part of this game. I love. This is an elderly I'm not
like or like any this. I'm not figuring anything out. It's not like
a combat puzzle where I'm like, oh, oh, it clicks. It's
just like, oh, the key goes into the asshole of the the statue
of the owl, and then the owl's beak opens, and then it hands
me an orb that I have to eat, and then I shipped out the
right key. It's the dumbest shit ever. Only in the first one.
The puzzles makes sense because it's loopy ass fucking mansion known by some freak you
know right now on every other game makes no sense. Really, puzzles in
this like the world that Ethan Winters and Chris Redfield and Leon Kennedy live in
yeah Is so it's full of fucking riddlers for no reason. Everyone's a they
said they they explained away in number two. Uh, the police department used
to be a museum. But I'm like that's not good enough. Why does
the museum still have all the museums but don't have puzzles either? That club
key, like, fucking Leon, shoot the door handles, please, bro,
that's kick those doors. And you know how sometimes there's a there's a
couch on like a stairwell. I'm just like, I can't. I can't
get it, Like, what do you mean? That bothers me too,
because there's there's a way to do that, Like here's a war used to
do it in a nice way too, where they would have that couch there,
but then they would have like rubble blocking behind it. But then there
are other games that's just the couch like a clear staircase. I'm like,
why can't Joel Miller go over this? What are you talking about? In
that game you meet the bad guy by him just moving on obstruction out the
way you miss actually just moves the helicou the way, and I'm like,
damn, dude, that's so fucking dumb. I wish I could do that.
I wish Leon could climb five feet above and just get over something.
It would be nice. Yeah, those things are silly, for sure.
They're silly. So yeah, for sure. Look up all the puzzle tomb
Raider, the third one, the third one of the the new run of
them is that Shadow Shadow because Rise of the second one. Think I beat
Rise. I stopped playing specifically because of a puzzle, because I was I
was just blazing through it and then it's like a flashback. She's a kid
and there's this like chest piece thing and I was like in like her house,
right the attic, and I never went back to it. I never
because I was immediately I rolled my eyes and I turned the game off.
Those games uninstalled. I actually, I think, you know, it's a
shame about those games, Like those games really almost almost became great, and
then they fumbled it. They fumbled in that last one where like I remember
playing that last one. I brought this up a long time ago, I'm
sure, like when I first played it or something. I think I know
I brought up in like the early Sacred Symbols where that last game I played
the first one, I enjoyed it. I thought it was like, Okay,
you know, Laura's kinda Laura's kind of weak, and you know,
not exactly where she should be, but like this is like kind of like
the beginnings of where she's gonna get to. That's interesting. I'm down.
I'm down to see where that goes, even though like there's a lot of
story stuff about it that's kind of silly. And then it goes into the
second one and then she's still kind of like that and you're like, all
right, ones, all right, we're choking my watch here about on this
character development. But it was still fun. It was like a good those
are good games. And then you get to the third one, and it's
also very very on par, very good. It's very fun. It gets
those moments though where it's like, all right, it's you're getting a little
cute with the puzzles here, but that's in all of them. Yeah,
and then they have this moment spoilers for this fucking game. I don't think
anybody gives a shit, Yeah, but they her fat friend, I remember,
I don't remember his name, you know, you're talking about her fat
friend dies, right, And then she gets blown off this fucking oil rig
into the into like basically the sea, and then it cuts to the ocean
and then you see like the fire behind her and then she rises out of
the fucking ocean and it looks like her eyes are glowing from like the fireflights.
Is like, this is fucking sick. And then it turns into doom.
Really it turns it. There's a sequence in that game that turns straight
up turns into like where she like she snaps and suddenly it's like, oh,
this is it. Oh we're here. Finally. I was like,
oh, sick, this is awesome. And you get through this whole sequence.
You're fighting up this oil rare, you're shooting guys left and right,
you're massacring people, she's stowing and it is the coolest shit ever. And
then you make it to the shore and then her friend's alive actually, and
then all of it's undone like and she's like oh and then she's back to
she's back to normal, and I'm like, I can't believe this, but
we're so close. You almost had it. Like that actually almost became like
one of my favorite trilogies ever because it like the lead up to it.
It's like, oh man, you earned it, and you like actually like
made people, You actually made people have to deal with like okay, Like
here's like Laura and she's like she's weak for two games and she's not exactly
as confidence as you should be. And you know you're taking a risk when
you do that, but you do that knowing that you're going to pay it
off in some way and you're gonna get it into a cool place. I'm
like, yes, this is and then they just fumbled it entirely. And
then at the end of the game, she's like I'm stupid again, and
I'm like, oh my god, I can't believe. But but they treat
it as if she's earned. She's where she isn't like the first game for
PS one, where she's like she's suddenly like this this bombastic like Vixen who
doesn't give a ship and I'm like, no, you can't, No,
Like I was so disappointed. I don't give a fuck about those games.
I don't give a about Little Croft at all. I've never given a ship.
She's a girl. I never cared. Don't play a few more characters.
In fact, put mods in every Metroid game to play as a guy
a Metroid game. That's when I played. When I play uh Metroid dright,
I'm playing as a Samuel, not Samus Samuel. But I just don't
really, I've never been a person. I still love those games, loved
the original games. I'm like, I don't really care. Yeah, I
mean I liked to Rader a lot when I was a kid, because,
like I remember, it was there was something. I mean, it's hard.
They're hard to play now because like the roles have evolved so far away
from there's these fucking bosses that are like Orenstein and small essentially couldn't beat them
because the controls are too fucking awful. Yeah, but Larcroft is just there's
something, there's something like objectively like iconic about that character, and like tomb
Raider is just very cool. It's really early examples of like what we see
now with like Uncharted and stuff like that, where it's like the fact that
they were able to do something like that on a PS one is nuts and
I have a lot of respect for it. I remember playing those games a
lot. I remember those games kind of scared me too. I don't know
what it really, I don't think it's necessarily. There was something about the
PS one and the way that they handled like music and sound effects that made
every game, regardless of whatever tone they were trying to go for, eerie,
you know what I mean, where it's like because they only had room
for like one sound effect and you would have like it just silence behind it,
no ambience at all, so you'd have like crisp footsteping thing. Really
off putting about this, and then that the butler who would like you know,
the butler in Larcroft's manner, would like go around like yeah background.
I was like, oh my god, it's fucking upsetting. I know what
you mean about the I know what you get about the footsteps thing. I
totally that's actually what creeped me out of It was the only thing that actually
really creeped me out about Resident Evil, like would be just be like in
your going around. The limited soundscape really kind of made things creepy. Even
games that weren't scary, like Medieval kind of freaked me out too, because
like the music in NAM is like really weird even though it's not scared,
it's not scary game. I couldn't imagine it's Resident Evil. Dude, yeah,
I mean there was Evil scared the ship, the first resident. Evil
scared the ship out of me, the open scared scary, the opening,
the opening with the zombie eating that guy in the corner and then he turns.
At that time it sounds so stupid, but at the time it looks
so realistic to me. And then I fel like it looked real And what
fucked me up even more about that is that that hallway looked exactly like the
hallway at the mezzanie in my building at the time, like fucking wallpaper,
same floor, everything, and so like it really fucked me up because like
my parents would be like, go take the trash down, and I'd be
like what. And I would go into this dark hallway that had no windows
in it, that looked like that resident and had the same corner too,
and I'm like, this is so fucked up. I was more brutal.
I did like that. I did like boot on the throat, stomp his
head, and that would be like Chris Redfields to see the most powerful white
man of all time, yeah, Christ to stop everybody, even in the
in the sixth one, he got pretty brutal because he would he would finish
some of them he would take the butt of his fucking gun flat their head
one hit, and it wouldn't be that much for us to kind of just
like just said it. What happened? Yeah, I love the five when
you would do the fucking mercenary that he would hate maker and kill four people,
but one swing he'd hit one guy's ahead at the strata from his head,
hit somebody out and blow that head up. And I'm like, I
love this guy just the stuff he could. I think he can be Captain
America. I think I think. I don't think he'd win, but I
think Captain America would not go home hurt. Like fine, he'd be like,
what the fuck is this man? What he be? Sore? I
want to I want to see western fight getting the questions two hours. Jesus
Christ, it's always it's gonna happen. This will happen. Now. Did
you guys see that, by the way, that report that came out about
Seal Team six. What did you not see that? There's a report about
Seal Team six that came out that's wild where they unmasked all of them and
they're all just it's just six seals. The singer baby I am gonna shoot
Ben, loading in his face, throw out as I dance on his grave.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, be an unfortunate reality. Six Seals and
they'll have the Modgin on them. No, dude, they're all like handcuffed,
and like I have handcuffed as I want to be. I got his
handcuffs in a moment a Mogin seal. Oh my god, we're never gonna
We're never gonna kill him. We get a little crazy, crazy good job
Steal ten sixty. It took out London for me. And in six Seals
six, I love the idea that this Yeah, even the sixth it is
represented of there's only six of them, but there is. It is Seal
Team six, and then the seventh Seal is this singer that we know he
broke Yeah, it used to be seven Sealed Team seven. What do you
mean he broke off? And he was like, no, I can't do
this anymore. Yeah, I can't murder people. He looks at his Madgin.
He doesn't. He unmoginifies and he's like, I don't want to kill
people anymore. It's not really m w Under for one, he's war He's
Warrior Seal. Now some of these questions. We gotta clean out this June
question thread. Stupid fucking bitch. All right, it's fucking kangaroo time.
Rode in well because hey there Google searches, kill yourself, bleach guy,
black eye, folding disabled child backwards, and game Metallica guy. Uh,
I've got a short but expandable question today the INCAS. Is it the INCAS
or someone played a sport where the ball was on fire called Pelota beauty bitch.
I don't know if I'm saying that right. And that got me thinking,
what is the most ridiculous, over the top dangerous sport you can think
up? You can either come up with your own sports spotn entirely, or
modify an existing sport, however obscure or niche is that real? The ball
was on fire? How would they do that? Yeah? I just know
we don't have lighters. Though, I know there was one of those places.
I don't know if it was the INCAS or the ass teg so the
mon I don't know who the fuck it was, but they would the heavy
ass like rubber tree ball or whatever those are the chichens, Yeah, yeah,
they would hit it with their their hips. Yeah yeah, I went
there. I was actually there. I went one. You did it.
I'm not playing that shout a fucking very racist, but I was like,
I want to show, uh, I know, but they're that place is
crazy. Those pyramids are way smaller you think they are, though, Oh
yeah they look small. They looked very big at all. I'm like,
whoa, man, the speak were tiny. An what I'm saying about,
there's another a mounta rushmore situation. Man Like things are just like not living
up to our expectations. They're still big obviously, but like I'm a big
ass human being and I'm I'm sure I was. They would have thought I
was a god. They're not big. Yeah, You're like, I can
step over those things. You're like, yeah, they were about to.
Literally that's what the advertise them was like Lily in there and I'm like,
that's crazy, just pushing him just because he can. They would have killed.
They would have murdered me. I would even even at my most athletic.
They are killed, hundreds and killers. One of them would have killed
one of those baseball bat with the jagged ivory on the side of it.
They would hit with that twice and I would have fell asleep. I think
it would have been like, you know, like a beatle getting on you
and pinching you. I think it would have been like that. I think
I want basketball on ice with flails. Basketball on ice you don't have to
have the flames if you want, but because I think the ice is cut
enough. But like, do you have to dribble? Yeah, drible,
take the flails out. It's just basketball and ice. But you still have
to drive the same roles. No ice skates, no ice skates, stuff
sneakers you got, someone is gonna get hurt so fucking bad, you hear
like the squeaks still somehow I was thinking baseball, but with actual can dynamite
wrapped in the cannon balls. Got the balls wrapped in dynamite and then you
have to hit it before it explodes in your face and somehow not shatter your
arms by hitting ball. You guys, remember the think that people would get
shot in the stomach of cannon balls, so they thought they were strong man,
these idiots, lunatics. Were you talking about people get shot in the
cannonballs in the stomach? What is that? That's what it is that really
happen. I'm sure, I'm sure exaggerate they did not put a lot of
gunpowder in those things, so they didn't travel at you know, the beads
where they would tail, you know what I mean. It's like, if
you're not what's the point even at that? Just those people are stupid.
They probably don't know the physics of like, oh he any other person that
would have shot straight through him? This guy, so you know, it's
probably like Troyes, so you're not surviving. That to me is like the
this man can survive gunshots, but then shooting yourself with a baby gun,
I mean, like, you cool, sign me up for a lifetime fucking
salary with a circus. What are you doing? Yeah, strong man?
Just fat guys? Yeah, tanking, weak, weak, cannonball hits.
Yeah. There's this video. I was loving this video where some guy's friends
holding his legs apart and he's like, guys, stop. They drop a
watermelon on his dick and away his legs bended as he gets h with that
watermelon and his dick. Is so fucking funny. Why would you who are
the like, are those are those his friends? Yeah? I think so
imagine your friends doing that to you? Would you still be friends with them?
I definitely we definitely would like the podcast would be over. I was
like, what the fuck you guys helped me down and drop the watermelon on
my fucking cos Did you see that video of these dudes, Like it says
I always wonder about cat right, because I'm like, I wonder if this
is true, like oh, pedophiles getting beaten up, and people are like,
oh good, and I'm always I'm just saying, well, I'm just
saying, so this dude said, the dude try to rob these guys,
and these two dudes are stomping on him, literally jumping as high as they
can, stomping on his head and kicking him from east off of their car.
People watch movies, right, and when you watch movies, you forget
how dangerous it is. And when we watch fighters that fight, right,
First of all, fighters are all brain damaged. They're damaged. Their brains
don't work the same way anymore. Like the fact is in like in the
boxing, I think this is so dangerous, the fact that in boxing people
are getting hit and knocked down and get back up if you get I think
it should not be a ten account. It should be like a seven eight
count because you're not ready to get back in a fight sometimes and they go
to get back up and they get beat down again, and then there will
power is like I'm gonna stand up again, and it's like no, dude,
yeah, you are taking you're taking months off your cognitive function fighting her.
Just stay down. The count is not enough time to It's it's very
it's a very stupid. It's primitive. It's because it's it's a rule because
it was a rule. Well, it is a primitive sport. Yeah,
it's also yeah yeah, and back in the day, you you could get
knocked down as many times as you wanted. Before, Like say, it
used to be what if you get knocked down three times, they'll stop the
fight. They'll be like, all right, you've been knocked down three times.
Yeah, that you keep getting up on the goat will come and eat
you on the spot. Before they had like yeah, that's true. That
was the tradition. That was the old Like smoking Joe Frasier, you thought
a you had to fight off a goat, yeah, because like it was
almost lost to goat strong. Yeah yeah, and held him down with his
fingers. Rocky Marciano, he uh, he had his hardest fight was the
goat that was he was containding with after he got knocked down for the first
time. It was pretty sport boxing with goats. I want like angry rams.
I want like hungry rams that haven't that have been bullied. And then
I've seen I've seen. I saw videos on Twitter recently like people doing the
running with the bulls and just getting fucked up. I love It's always justice
why, Like, yeah, it feels it feels very difficult to feel bad
for any of them. Their Spaniards too, so I hate them by Creed,
so I don't give up like I hate them because they really have convinced
them to just kind of color on people in that way, right, I
guess what it is. It's literally just like what are you doing? Have
it three times a year? You see that thing too, where like I
don't know if it was in Spain, it was I at some circus thing
or some fair or the bull just like jumped over. There was a conservative
rally some sorry we still weak American. It's literally it's literally that song play
and then the bull runs into the fucking crowd. What's crazy is that everybody's
running and there's one guy standing there drinking a beer or something. And I'm
like, feller, fella, get out of you don't see do you not
hear that bowl vine? You don't hear that bovine? You're afraid of nothing,
man, nothing, nothing scared, But don't it just hits him just
the way they fucking flike is the fact obviously the way humans are built and
the way bulls hit you. You always it's great, it's always twirl.
It's great because of how like it's just it's just power. Like I love
to just see that display of power, and we are nothing to them,
Like they just bump us and we go flying. Even regular cows do see
people like trying to like like kareem cows and like they're angry. They don't
want to go seeing a man, a grown man get yanked around by this.
The nicest version of them is crazy. Dude's so big. They're so
unbelievably strong because of I mean, just look at their masks, how much
muscle they have. They can move shit, dude, I really wish I
had I remember little cows, little baby cows are so cute. It's crazy,
dude. Yeah, they're so adorable. I really want one, but
like I one one time bad I can't. I don't have a ready to
put them Wait what a baby cow one time? Raw? Yeah, I
was like, just you just start buying because like basically what happens. They
throw it into the tiger cage right and then like they're like, hey,
Derek, you want to eat with the tiger? And I was, and
I was like can I Yeah? Yeah, And if you don't eat with
the tiger, the tiger will assume that your food too. Yeah, you
have to like you have to eat with it so it knows. Yeah,
you gotta show dominant, you gotta push it asidehen it's gonnaok at you,
like what are you gonna do? Not at you? And it's like all
right, fair enough. The famous tiger it takes out the top half,
put it on, put it away. That would send me spiraling. I
think, Yeah, I want to see somebody beat up on like a wild
animal, like not kill it, but like outfight a gorilla. Like you're
not gonna see that, like a real brawl, like yeah, someone with
gloves, no gloves, no gloves, it's like street fighting. You got
to give the gorilla gloves. If you give a gorilla gloves and it like
it like it gets it. It's like, why get hit them really hard?
Dude, We're putting a gorilla in the UFC, Dude, I think
that'd be funnier. I mean, I think it'd be funny at first.
I think it would be I think every match would start funny. It would
and then it would be really not funny by the end. But you'd have
to watch it. It would be the champion until it just died of old
age because no one's beating the gorilla. Yeah, it was just just die
of like sucking cysts or something. You'd have to you'd have to get Lesnar
back and like enhance him to be able to deal with that. He's the
only person you have to build someone. Yeah, you'd have to, like
like Jack from fucking Teching, you have to be like one of those.
You have to be one of the Jacks. And then then maybe stand a
chance the ring and charactering at five hundred pounds in the right side of the
ring. So gorilla, Yeah, go gorilla, and it's mister Gorilla.
And then it's not. It's not it's not even a big one. It's
a small one. It's like a regular sized one. It's like mister Gorilla
and then far start runs up to the grapple. It grabs them and it
bites into their neck and then decides to arm borrow them after they're bleeding out.
So the guy that was swimming with sharks on Twitter and he got his
leg, he got part of his little calf bit and off did it?
Really it looks like a cartoon bite too. It looks ridiculous good. I
remember saying. I was like, what are you doing? Good dangerous animals
on purpose? I love that. I love that stuff. I don't know,
man, I love that stuff. Some guy jumped off of the side
of a cruise ship at night as a prank and he literally got lost what.
He was drunk too. He was drunk. That guy's gone, what
is the prank? I don't know. I don't know. I think it
was prank's wrong. I think it was more of a do it you won't
thing, Like his bros were like, do it you won't, and he's
like, Okay, he's drunk. And then apparently some people it's very dark,
like I think you could see a shark swimming up to him. Dude,
Sometimes you know, I have to say, there are some people.
Look, I've been very drunk I've been very wasted in my life. Yeah,
but I don't think there was a single time where I was drunk,
wasted, smashed, even fucking blackout where I was doing something that I didn't
already understand that I kind of wanted to do, you know what I mean.
We're like, there is so little of me that wants to jump off
of a boat at night that you couldn't drug me to a degree where I
would do that. Never, Sincerely, you have to trick me into thinking
that like I'm on fire or something like literally, like you have to somehow
like put so much acid in me and rooms and it's like also every cycle
that look at once to trick me into believing I'm on fire to the point
where like maybe maybe then even then I feel like I would maybe run to
the bathroom. Yeah. The worst thing ever is water in the dark.
That is like a literal human fear. Is that dark water? It was
to stay away from it, and guy was a yell whatever. I think
people don't understand consequence. That is, you have to understand consequence. I
don't. They just don't get when those people are gone, man, they
just they don't need to be here. That wasn't a bad guy, but
he's definitely stupid. Yeah, you don't need to be here, you don't
need to have kids and like spread his stupid fucking jeans. Was that on
Twitter? Uh? Yeah, I saw on Twitter. I didn't say that's
all new. Yeah, it was months ago. I lost let's see.
Yeah, Jesus fucking Christ. Way to go at night? Like how fucking
like I can almost even understand that if it was during the fucking day,
I wouldn't do it during the day. I'm just saying I can definitely better
as you could not get me in the ocean. You could, like I
would, you would have? I would die. No, it's scary,
like if I if I can't see the like you know when you're when you're
in the ocean, right there, the water is just deep blue. You
can't see anything. I don't want to go in there. I don't know
what's under that, maybe wants to tickle my feet or bite it off or
something. It's just it's too The unknown is terrifying. I've seen videos of
people like swimming with kayak kayaking or like speedboating and then whales coming out the
water, and I would I love wales but seeing that would cause me death.
Did you see that guy on TikTok who's like sailing across the whole himself.
He's like sailing, he sailed from Mexico and he's trying to land in
Oh fuck, I can't like tie it like some something like that. So
he's sailing across the Pacific Ocean like in a sailboat by himself. He seems
like really capable and able to do it. But I'm just I'm looking at
him like, well, why, I don't know, Like, look,
I under people get bored, people get bored living. I think that's really
is it. Here's the thing. If I could, if there was if
I could teleport to like a platform in the middle of the ocean to like
see what that's like for a second, I would do it. I'd look
around, Yeah, okay, sailing across the ocean and unknown to that,
like I already saw one where his sail ripped from the wind, and I'm
like, what do you I don't know. If that guy makes it,
congrats, that's amazing, like sincerely like props because that's insane. But also
what if he dies? I'm not gonna you know what I mean, Like
I can't. I I like, that's that's crazy. I just give him
elden Ring. Man, wouldn't that be like more like because it's been done
to death sailing because people had to when they mapped out the world and they
were mapping out routes and one too, they only did it because they had
to. They made like they needed this man. The one thing, the
one thing that even remotely piques my interest about that experience is I do kind
of wonder, like what because that is the most isolated place you could possibly
be, like where he is currently, like or in the last couple of
days, it's like in the middle of the ocean. He's far, he's
closer to people on the space station that needs the people on land. So
interesting, My curiosity is, Man, the sky must look crazy out there.
I couldn't do that, you know what I mean? Like I would
be curious to see, like what the night sky would look like with absolute
zero light pollution like that that would be fascinating. But he's not made a
video about that, so like, I guess not that interesting. If I
look up. If I look up, yeah, do you panic at this
at the at the galaxy? Who I think it's a black person trade.
I think it's a black Caribbean person trade. They could talk into us so
many times I had to do it, and it's like, don't do that
when you know. When we were driving across the country and we stopped and
like, I can't. I think it was like the top you know that
weird corner in Texas. Oh yeah, yeah, you stopped in Amarillo.
I had to pull over because I was driving, and I was like jailing.
My balls are killing me. I have to stand up. You're driving
for so long. And so we got out in the middle of the road.
It was like I think maybe like two am or something, and you
could just see it looked like mass effect. It's crazy looking. I've seen
that before. It fucking fuck it did something, I think. I think
I peered at something up there and it peered back at me and I noticed
then I was like, it is. It is the most attractive thing to
me about living in isolation in that way, because I'm very much a city
person, Like I like being around like society and people and humanity and knowing
that things are existing and alive and happening. But like, that was really
fucking cool. And if I could see that every day. I think I'd
be like genuinely happier. It super dope, Like even when I was living
in Arizona, I was living in Buckeye for a while. It was nothing,
and they didn't even have street lights where we're at, so you just
see all the ship. So it was amazing that the thing that would spook
me was the absolute darkness. It wasn't the sky. I see. The
sky was amazing. It was me being around no light freaks me the funk
out. And I wondered how the people live like that back in the day.
See that because a person can't see me, I can't see the person.
A beast is different. Beasts can see me. That's unfortunate. But
the thing that's like something could come up on me easily. I'm so much
more worried about human than I am about beasts, I guess. I mean,
I get that. To me, it's just I just don't I just
want to see, That's all I would. I would steak up on you
in the dark real easy. You wouldn't know where I am. I would
impossibly. I would just I'm close to the ground. I would just look
at the sky and I would see, like where your outline is because because
I've been at like I went to Grove Park one time, right, we
were like watching a movie or something like that. I looked up and you
know when some parts of the sky darken than others. No, no,
that happened. Stop And I looked up and I was looking at the sky
and I was like, dude, there's so much up there. And I
just started I think I had an info dump understanding, like all of my
ancestors. Generational fear of the unknown flooded into me and I was like,
we gotta leave the I don't want to be here no more crazy. The
movie started, I was like, really cool happens? And where you stay
where you lay there and like stare for a while and you can kind of
like see I feel like I'm falling up. You start to see like how
fast the planet's actually spinning if you like really pat if you really look at
like the stars and like, oh, they're moving, and then you think
about like, oh, if they're moving that way, we must be moving
this way. And then you'd like think about it and then you really get
in tune with it. It's fucking weird. It's really cool. I've never
notice how fast to me. Yeah, I've never literally feel it, but
like you get a sense of it and you kind of like your brain.
I remember looked at iber looked at the clock so long you saw the things
move, the hands move before, that's happening before, and I was like,
I've never been that. Like the shorthand yeah, no, no,
not the long hand in the one hand is normal to say, I can
see that moved like in a couple of it'll move a little bit, but
yeah, shorthand all the way around there like that long no movement that is
that's cycle ship totally. That is absolutely like just that's like a fucking sniper
that just you know, ships his pants and the jug while he's waiting,
like you know, he's just fucking wait this one. Let's move on to
this one. Pay for this goddamn podcast to hear about Eldon ring In Yeh
says, hello, Peter Parker if he got laid Spider Man six nine sixty
nine and the evil version of Miles. I got a query, or Spider
Peter Parker does get laid? I got a query related to these stupid ass
nicknames. What events in your lives would you would you guys consider your cannon
events AKA what events do you think are so fundamental to your existence? Is
that had they happened to every version of you, or they that they happened
to every version of you, like Chris getting groped in a sea is somehow
extremely important for his character. Anyways, thanks for the laugh. I've been
listening since my late teenage years. Jesus Christ. Oh, so he's jarring
to hear that. I don't know, man, like I guess my mom
dying. Okay, well, I guess it's hilarious. It's not funny,
but like I guess, I don't know me getting I don't know. I
think getting gro ued in series is. I think that's like, that's very
situational with this reality. I think the fireball definitely every Kingston did that.
I think I definitely stepped on a mouse barefoot in every reality. That's gross.
It's really it was a really formative fireball that I already like had like
a it sounds like one of this sounds like one of those self complimentary things,
but I mean it in like a squeamish way. I was always very
very empathetic to animals and like other people as far as like pain goes like
I always would feel it. And so stepping on a mouse barefoot and hearing
a crunch and a squeak, I think accelerated me to a point whe like,
I don't think there's very few animals that I could hurt now, like
like even by accident. When you said, have you ever stepped on your
dog's paw and you just crumble and you feel terrible about it, that happens
to me. Like I stepped on my dog's paw when I was back home
and she like yell, yelped, and I felt like I killed the person.
I've never had some small enough dogs I can't like like really mess up.
I've only had big dogs. That's why unlessach and then I don't give.
Yeah, I definitely crucify mice, but like other than that, like
crucifying little bloody eagle here there, crucif put them on the guilt. Is
that something that every Kingston does. Definitely this one is that Goco. I
haven't played then, and I'm like, dang, and I love it the
fair part moment and dragon Ball was like, yes, Krilling getting her is
awesome. Poor Krilling, dude, he's in fact, what do you mean
poor Krilling. Krilling is like the nicest guy ever. Yeah, he was
wrong with what do you mean, poor Krilling? What's what? He's died
the most sad his death and dragon Ball is the sad as death ever,
dumb death ever. It's it's really like, that's not sad like emotionally,
it's just like, this is such a fund up way. He fucking he
he he ended up coming back and banging you know, eighteen. I can't
feel too bad for him. He's not like, yeah, but she has
gears in her as Yama who like, just I'm just a billionaire dude,
is he? Yeah, I'm just crazy? What what is he a baseball
player? Oh? That's right, he is a baseball He's crazy rich technical
entirely. He just cheated because he has a little bit of key god like
abilities cheating, a little bit of that key in him. So he's just
he's the best player probably in the in the world. Ever. Yeah,
he's in saying I didn't think about that. He's been a basic player.
I remember that, but like I forget. They all play it once.
Wasn't he a thing? At first? Chest One of the Filler episodes,
they all played baseball he's really good, and they're like wow years and he's
like yeah, yeahn I remember, like Pico Piccolo and Baseball like that.
That makes sense to baseball you're thinking about you're thinking of driving test Piccolo when
he's dripped out, please drip the go go do Google. They dressed A
nine. I love the idea of them getting fucking driver licenses dressing people.
Goku doesn't at that time. He does, he has one now, but
and then Piccolo he gets it. Yeah, Piccolo gets one. Yeah,
and Pico's got his driving license before SpongeBob. This is crazy wow, because
in the dragon Ball New movie, Piccolo has to fly the plane and he's
terrible at it. All right, right right, It's like because I can
fly, I've been flying as I was born. I don't want to know.
This is stupid, that's totally like why what fucking who in the right
mind would get their driver's license? Fly miss the idea of things like that,
if you can fly that fast, yeah you know, I mean,
if you can fly, but you only flew like like one mile an hour,
that's hovering you just yeah, focus, you know. You can fly.
You can fly up and down, you can fly up and down at
any speed. But like horizontal, you can ascend. You can ascend and
descend at whatever speed you want, but you can only move forward. At
one point I would do is that was I would ascend up real high and
then I would descend at an angle, so technically I'm flying fast. You
know what this reminds me of. I saw the instagram Mike Dojo life.
They just show all these you know, these frauds that say they have powers
and ship, you know, you know, all those whirdos. The guy
there was one There was one guy. Actually it wasn't it was a it
was a different guy. It it was a simpil. It was like that
though it's literally ship like that. Remember when I convince you that I had
telecnesis that was really high that day so that it doesn't count. Yeah,
yeah, that was really I moved a cup with my mind, all right,
all right. I did a trick to make him, specifically to see
if he would notice. I did one of those tricks, and I saw
his eyes widen and get scared. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen.
How does this spoon bending one work? I think you're just you can only
do it if you're mega gay, you have to have such serious autism that
you believe it was bad the whole time and that it bends autistically. That's
gay. That's still a power at that point. If you're sore, reality
is low scale reality warping. You just don't know you canna go bigger,
you know, like you can go bigger if you wanted to, but you're
so stop take the hat or like the mask or something where like you're just
like anything that you're you're willing things into existence. Essentially, you're willing three
D spaces. You're ignoring the existing function and space and properties of existing objects,
like oh this, oh let me pull out for my Let me pull
out this fucking Ford focus for my wallet real quick because it'll fit somehow.
Why not? What do you do? People like that? Like it's like
warcraft, war hammer. The orcs. The Orcs have the ability to shape
reality, it is, don't They're dumb? Do they? What do you
mean? Because they can make things like if a Orc picks up a back
of chips, right and you're like, that bag of chips will shoot rockets,
a volley of rockets. That's alchemy, man, And it picks it
up. It will it will do that, it'll real Yeah, yeah,
but they're so stupid. I never got into Warhammer. That's physical verse.
Uh yeah, there's just too much ship Man, Like, uh, there's
all the stuff to get into and it really doesn't matter of just like what
finds you first. I think literally it's like because I'm not getting into war
Hammer. I played I played that. Uh no, although I heard good
things about that one. I played this. It was like a boomer shooter
called like bolt Gun. That was pretty good, but I have no idea
what the fuck it is or what's I don't know who anybody is. There's
a button that you can press though that says like hail to the whatever or
like the empire. I don't know what they exactly the terminology is, but
there's a button just for like praising your un I thought it was kind of
funny. Yeah, I just imperiums too much ship man. There's too much
stuff. Like even if you get into like oh hey you want to get
a lord in the rings, that's a whole fucking another. It is pretty
small scale, but yeah, I get to I don't think so, I
don't know compared to like fucking like like comics and ship like that. Like,
but it's like comics of like, so what do we get into?
Are you gonna are you just gonna? Are you gonna follow say Spider Man,
Okay, how many arcs star are there? How many? Like it's
there's a lot of ship and he's kind of just have to pick something.
Yeah, especially like the Warhammer people. I'm like, dude, that's like
I can't, like there's just too much ship to get into. I just
one of my good friends who's like the pussy boy, like he's always fucking
girls like that. He got into Warhammer and he's like, dude, I
like Warhammer. We're not like pussy. He's pussy the pussy pussy Boy the
Badder gets pussy. So this is so contradictory in the way it sounds like
he's like he's weak. He's about pussy boy, he's about the boy,
about his pussy. Yeah, and then like, dude, I'd rather play
Warmmer. As soon as you're saying got a Warmer, already knew like he's
not getting pussy anymore. That's just you can't do both. You can't be
in the Warham. You can only be Henry Cavill. You're gonna be Henry
Cavill. He's not fucking that much. He can literally why he didn't like
he he he didn't turn into a Leonardo DiCaprio is because of Warhammer like he
did. He's he spent all his time playing World of Warcraft, and he
remembers the story he was almost late on set because he was doing like a
raid or something. That's fucking crazy. You're making millions of dollars like hold
on, hold on, probably almost got one. Un he almost missed his
audition for Superman. I think I think he almost missed his audition. Was
that the hold hold on? And who is he playing with that? I
want to know? Right, you imagine somebody guys like, come on,
man, you're not gonna get that far. Come on. His friends are
just fucking sabotaging man. You know you're a terrible hand. Come on,
get out here. He'll need a healer in the tank man, come on
something. You know he's like the he's like the handsome, like successful friend
and all his other friends are fucking bums. Friends look like they fucking looked
like their teeth come the tough front teeth, the upper teeth judged through the
bottom of their mouth, and you're like that so fun that they look like
orcs. They have an inner bite. Come on, you know, I
gotta get that. You get that, y'all. Like the bottom row was
slanted this way, and then toper was slanted this way. Like they meet,
they meet like in here in the middle of your mouth. Come on,
man, you're really gonna disrespect the Horde. What a ripe cut for
the Horde? I think is what it is for the Hordes. The Yeah,
that that is what. Yeah, that's so fucking insane. You know,
you disrespect the old guys. What's funny is that in that universe the
Orcs are the nice people. Actually they're like, other than the whole like
raping and pillaging thing, they're actually not that bad. I don't know how
that. How do you coincide with that? You gotta be they're like pirates,
Like pirates are the Caribbean, right, yeah, they're like what don't
they like rape and the villagers and yeah, but who wasn't then thieves and
and vagons, they're the nice ones near doells and just I love Jackson jack
Sparrow and literally just grabs this girl and like punches here and fucking throws around
the bend and has his way there and he walks out. All all he
has to do is walk out all but yeah, that's all he has to
do. The great right, big, wasn't it? That man's black?
That man's black par to the Caribbean, there's a lot not many black people.
And think those are other movies that I don't think I've really seen what
I've seen them on us? Yeah, well you know what, you know,
I've seen like one or two. I wasn't I love the first one,
first one and second I've seen them. First one for sure. I
definitely remember that's a dead man's chest. I know that, but I don't
remember anything about it. Like I know, I sat. I know,
I've been in a room while while that movie was playing and I watched the
gay Man's Chest this It was like, can I just have my chest back?
He's like no, wait, so is it? Like what is it?
What's what's the way chest? Like dido? And is the chest of
like someone's valuable? So the gab game it means nothing. It's literally just
it's literally just a mundane pile of belonging. It's actual descriptive to the person
that's it. It's a little more description. It's a man's chest, like
maybe there's like a maybe there's like a pride pin by the way in there.
But it's like he's good, he's good, and then bloom. Still
he's like, wait, I don't even know how he sounds. He's like,
whoa, how do you sound? Jack Barrow Orlando Bloom whatever his character.
I was going, it's way only he punched. That's funny parts.
That's the game Karen's looking for. She's looking mighty handsome. I just think
I just I just thought about that. What do you think the etymology of
the term handsome is? I don't know, because it's always been a weird
word to me. Yeah, I agree with that. Like to describe somebody
who's beautiful or like attractive is handsome. I think I understand it. I
think I figured it out what last night while I was really high I was
sleep I think I figured out because you know how awesome inspires. It's like
it's like something inspires awe, So it's awesome, something invites Awekay, handsome
inspires hands like you want to touch him? You know. I wonder if
that's true that feels like not so impossible, not a bad that's that's actually
like not that's not bad. It's the only way I feel like that word
makes sense. A handsome is insane. Sometimes you can reach some good conclusions
when you are high like that. So yeah, I feel like I might
be right. I haven't looked this up, like, yeah, look it
up and it might it might be one thousands. Do you feel like that's
like somewhat valid? That's literally to that statement, like I'm like, all
right, that sounds hippo. Yeah, it sounds Sometimes it's one of those
things where it definitely sounds like it's plausible, and then it's gonna turn out
it's gonna be nothing like that. Yeah, it's gonna be like Professor Hans
invented this word in the nineteen nineties. Hey me, I'm handsome, and
no one was handsome before then, Yeah, no one, nobody. Everybody
before they invented handsome, everybody was ugly. Everybody looked like a fucking Schmiegel,
the gray blob, the gray bobs before your family, my parents.
When he wish everybody was the same, what, oh, yeahs a great
blob. I'm the greatest and blobbyestber that ship, I'm the greatest and them
laugh? Is was that Gilbert guy for you? Right? Yeah? It
was before he died obviously obviously. Yeah. Why was there a gay man's
chest here? What was there a game man's chest going on? With this
gay man's chest? Come here, it's a little pigeon. Just zions.
Oh, I'm not legalists in this fucking movie. Could you swing a little
small legs? And his name is his name? Legalless legless, he's leg
he's he's legless, legalless, legless. He's got he's got Oh my god,
the Wild Wild West spider leg prosthetics. I think that's the next movie.
That's the next movie we should watch. High by the Way is wow.
Yeah, I've never seen that movie. I haven't seen that movie since
the two thousands. I never saw it. Dude, we should watch it
and record our and record our commentary and then just release it as like a
commentary track. I'd be cool because we do during that when we were fucking
watching cat had that was some good ship that was happening. Why don't we
not the movie so like the conversations where we get like a splitter, like
we watch it because like, we can just watch it here and then we
can get a splitter for headphones and then watch it and here we could Yeah,
it's like and then we can record the stuff. It'd be easy.
We just really way to figure that out. Yeah, it would be easy.
All we got to get is something portable to watch it and then get
a splitter for headphones and then we can all watch it. Like that's it's
an idea. Yeah, I'm attracted to that idea. Wow, because that
shi it was there's some sh uh yeah, because he was a part of
Drew Hill. Yeah, so he was singing the chorus too, the wow
o God, I I forgot that. I did a gay version of that.
I took notes about last night we were talking about. I took notes
because there's sothing I didn't want to forget. I'll tell it. I don't
know what the fuck. I don't know how this happened, but we we
invented a band who's like we were oh, because Danny was watching, she
put on she put on a peaceful walk through Elvin Ring. After we were
done, just put on this video of just like a stroll through Eldon Ring
with the ambience. We were like Dann you watched this, like you sit
and watch this and he's like, oh yeah, it's good to go to
sleep too. And I like, I invented this person where it's like I
go to I go to sleep to the sounds of jay Z screaming for his
life. And it's funny. It's a ten hour long script of jay Z's
snowing script. It's like audio, did you get it? That's what I'm
saying. It's like, how does it? So? How does he get
authentic audio of jay Z screaming for his life? Is he terrorizing jay Z
for ten straight hours? Or is he terrorizing it for three minutes maybe a
night? For years? And it's a compilation and does he have is he
selling? Like is he selling these like relaxation tapes of others? He's terrorizing
brand of stuff. He's like, this is Gilbert Godfrey screaming for ten hours
for his life? How does picking? How does he sound? How does
jay Z sound his screen? We're trying to impress it in person, but
we couldn't figure it out. Ho h to the to the wait wait,
let's please stop? That's that? Then? Please stop? Oh my god,
I'm going to sleep to that hope I go to sleep too. Oh
my god, the video Chris attacked me in of the dude at the freaking
at at like Sam's Club or like fucking Costco, and he was like he's
lifted a box. He's like, please, how you my god, that
is a great video. Send it to us. I send it to you.
I sometimes I see things and I tag you in it because I want
other people to know that I've sent it to you. But but like it's
a guy at Costco or like what I really can't tell honestly, but like
they're they're wearing a vest and they're on one of those platforms and they're lifting
a box and the box is crushing him. Oh I have seen that.
No, no, no, it's been a long time. And like the
nobody like helps them, No one's helping. It's only a forty five pound
box, all right. That's that's the thing. I remember this. He's
panicking, man, that's the best. He's panicking. That's the thing.
I'm begging you. I'm begging you what so exacperate a laugh out of his
ship. Oh dude, I would not be able to handle that. Like
forty five pounds is not a lot then it's not for your body, Like
holy shit, what five pounds like like condensed, Like see a forty five
pounds Olympic weight. It's heavy because of how condensed it is, right,
Yeah, but likes dispersed and with your whole body holding that's that's not dude,
that would forty five pounds is only a lot if it's hitting you from
a long way away, Like if you're if you dropped forty five pounds on
someone I don't know where from the sky. Yeah, I mean you're okay,
that's a problem. It would hurt you still, like if he ha
like if somebody does a forty five pounds way that you're back and it'll hurt.
No, of course, but like like something like a box like that
with your whole body forty five pounds. No that that rocks dispersed weight.
No, no, no, absolutely, I like to I like to imagine
that his bat his balsa wood bones are like cracking as you're like DENTI in
he please, Hell, I'm you got a shade up moving you know what?
This reminds me of my uncle. So my uncle is a little uh,
he's a little off right, he's uh six three six four and we
went to Raging Waters one time, where he's six three six four. Yeah,
that's his ratio, that's that's his whole Yeahsion, his dimensions are yeah,
being as tall as you are wide, he's six threes six three six
four and nine to eight. That's crazy, that's fucking So he's like,
Flats, please just read the want to go home, Let's get the funk
out of here. Insane. He's like, Flat, I'm gonna kick your
butt. I'm gonna kick your fucking ass. And I was like, whoa,
I beat them. Do you see that the the uncensored the uncensored individual
audio clips from sailor Mouth or whatever the Sponge episode. Yeah, yeah,
it's not. Somebody hasn't edited them into the episode yet, but like the
clips exist where like uh, squidd says, so blow jobs asking for king
watch it's it's fucking it's really yeah, hold on, I could probably find
it, but we're stuck and Cockston pillaging all these people too. You could
read the names. While I find this, I'll i'll take it over.
I did it last time. Can you take it? I want to find
this thing. Whatever, I'll start excellent, I'll start right. I just
want to find the thing so I can show you and then I'll take count
down. Put on him, so we are going to read our twenty five
dollars up, patron, let me get a countdown. Hold on, I
found it three nigga two? Oh wait? Fuck? So I guess the
blobs out of the question and it was that a blankton fuck. It's amazing.
I love that. All right, give me a countdown, hard are,
give me a big boy bib bib hotline Twink called a jack away call
a jackass for the infamous comments by Swen when we hear in the Smooth cover.
No, Kanye, don't say that the Jews are not gay. There
is such a thing as the good kind of autistic, and I'm tired of
pretending there isn't. Holy shit, Vonna the Dead, I was gonna change
my name to Sheldon's voice come a voice cum joke, but Chris made on
the almost exact same joke Round Eyed Asian Slenderman's pantext your brother, I like
Menderman, Jerald uh phatic bald Sween, star of thirty Cocks. I put
Harry and the Potter now I'm hog hog got Warts. I put my Harry
and the Potter My hog got warts make it an entire alphat of Sween's foreskin.
Sween Er Derek Google Peanuts eleven six, nineteen seventy four, and then
clicked the first link. I promise you'll you'll laugh. Oh, I don't
know if Chris needs confidence. Get grinder you do not? You well,
you get mad numbers, femboy Salarn, Lord of Mordor, Jared Fogels folding
children into tetris blots aries destroy Israel. Well, my life is yours,
Sween siphe and Derek's piss. I saw it. No who death nice Jack
the world's fist Mayori just let us just tell us your spects Sween stop not
telling us. I'm sorry, we'll eventually, I promise, Big Meat,
the stinks Andy, the man whose handies are now eights here but not as
Dandy magin vegeta be like I hate the blast facts see Tom on my d
to like long Heath Smoker gids coming Elma Sween makes uh wait, Sween makes
my solid snake it retarded as rare as his name us snap that Kid's back
goldfish Eldon end Wayne's shadow of the cocksleeve. That's crazy, chosen come.
Ben Shapiro moans when his fingers go through a toilet paper. Mister pants swings
May Cyrus. That's very good, bottom blankedon. It's pretty all of the
first sin, cardboard pines, splumb of butters, red dead to Uh well,
let me have your guy with dicks and balls and I'll suck him,
climb up his back and with my penis and cock and our rail. M
that's the worst name ever, dude, And I'm reading it right, sure,
yeah, yeah, I am. It's all jolly old dip chip the
grassy cart Racing made that little spatter ciphers Drake drake O vio and coming kidney
stones like a machine gun. No, don't say that. I only tipped
Chris, and only fancy. He's a cool guy. Snake saves the kids
from the transagenda featuring Revolver, Redhouse and the bud Light track. Three hundred
do wahs hundred do bas ribus smacking tires like a Myers Elie Frost. You
tak the rest, Chris? I did half? Or you go therek page
two? Page two you so used to. I least process where you started.
Page two. Okay, all the rest of them are just just the
the basketball player Nick Kerr, Nick Kurr with the I still can't believe that.
I still can't believe fucking Steve Kerr named his son Nick. That's so
fucked up that still bothers me. Yeah, that libertarian fucking uh plangton Wait
wait wait, wait, let me think a picture. All right, Martian
manfucker, I love that. I want you guys both in the picture.
Yeah, I got that a wild That is such a wild image. Chris
is jovial ass smile. Look at this is real ship right here. I
used to draw actually, yeah, Cartain characters saying really bad things. Can
you draw a Doug Funny doing that? Maybe from memory? It's been a
while. I want to see that. I haven't seen him so long.
He's gonna be so bad. All right, Limp, dick tip. I'm
just one of those gays. Oh wait, olymp dicky, I'm just one
of those gays. I just want to get fucked deep inside my butt.
Take everybody's nunt. Not bad, not bad, that's good. That's actually
good. That's actually a good one. Well done. Yeah, Well,
Lily's spark is binging pitch dealer. You must go to the Bodega system.
Oops, I grew tits. Guess I'm a woman now was the you gave
me Doug Funny? Why? I just wanted you to draw Doug Funny.
Uh, and I guess have him say something just as controversial. Make him
a mag guard, make him make it make maybe make him saying something very
controversial to Skeeter. Have you guys ever seen the Instagram page? Sonic says,
No, I got get already. It's I already have the idea of
what you're going bro craziest page by far. I have no recollection of his.
That could be eight different characters right now. It's almost like cuphand it's
like the beginning of cuphand or something. It could be, you know,
I can't remember now you did have a very big dog has he has a
very big No dog has a I'm not gonna say, Doug has a very
power Okay, yeah, you finished it? And then triangular up a picture
Doug Funny, get ready to get it ready and it's funny with the f
you N N I E. So don't don't funk it up. I know
how to spell Doug Funny. I used to watch the show because I thought
maybe we do regular Funny, and I'm like, don't disrespect him that way.
It's closed. It's not too bad. Let's see one. Uh,
that is not bad. What is that baby Doug Funny? Remember that baby
Doug Funny. I don't remember what he's he has like like one, two,
three, four five? He has hair like these they're like that.
Yeah, I love that one. The fact that you remember how many hairs?
Yeah, that's crazy. I'm just trying to I'm just assuming because like,
oh, it probably this many fit his head. Let's see. Uh,
okay, wrong for the exonerated Dunny. Help me. I'm stuck in
a well. Would you would you be okay? If Marvel made Black Panther
white? It's so fucking funny. You know the you know the agent that
they saved in the first one. Yeah, what if he became black panther
like he got his back shot and then they healed him. I think he
died the guy I played. I think he passed away actually, like in
real life, I think he did. He died too. Do you think
he gave him like cancers? He gave him cancer too? Somehow they were
but fucking out. Vibranium gives you cancer wo wow, all those properties and
it gives you cancer. That would make sense and that strong exis it kind
of would make sense, would it? Why is he so ship? Why
did you make chippy dunk funny? I really have been coming or snatched she
pipkin on my pip really the face that I don't remember? Yeah, let's
see. Oh it's actually not that far. It's not too bad. Yeah,
I mis remember the nose, you know what? Holding the camera hold
skeeters should skeet out of my community. Will just screenshot it or whatever it'll
be in the video. I want to show you. I want to show
you what I was doing. I was doing captions of a terrible dug funny.
It's it's a pretty bad as it does like it's a little wide,
it takes a blank he looks it actually doesn't like extend paste. Dude,
go down. Yeah, I have these. I'm gonna pull this up.
I'm gonna continue the words in a second. Uh, let me see steal
Sometimes the video podcast is yeah, video dependent. You might want to sorry,
Oh my god, I forgot. If you listening to the audio,
you probably want to. You probably watch one check out the video. I
mean I would recommend watching the video to just to see some of the like
the more outrageous clips. Yeah, I would recommend it to just pop over
and be like, what the fuck was that the credits. I've gotten into
the habit of drawing bullshit. Yeah, here we go. This is what
I wanted to pull up for a while I was watching. I was rewatching,
Uh, I was rewatching all this stuff, and I kept just doing
coptions of him saying dumb ship you know, said Roger put it up Roger
Clotts like Roger was it saying jet Field, cat melts, steal beams.
Fun That was when we were in Vegas. You mean you mean Jalen were
in Vegas. We just kept doing that fucking Roger CLO's impression of him saying
horrible, saying stupid. I know I have one. I'm gonna kill Patty
Man. He's funny. Yeah, yeah, that's right. I think I'm
gonna get you. I think I have a vie of you saying something like
that pussy tells you dies, funny, that's crazy. Know what to do?
Where's he's young, he's a young, beautiful woman. Don't eat her
pussy. No, we'll just just you. I stole it. It didn't
recognize me. There's no face idea because I stole this. No, all
right, possum. Oh Jesus Christ scared me. Actually, okay, just
a noise. Now there are way more durble than I thought they were.
Actually, I'm not worried about it. Like being broken. I just like
starting Christ l Chris Christ is ble Chris. Okay, why'd you why?
Why'd you say that? No? Love? That's one of the names.
I love that. You guys, you guys? Are you guys? Are
you? Guys? Are on point insisting that brow is a stand up guy.
Gay son or thought daughter shit? Why bo? Why not gay son
or thought daughter? Shit? Why not both? And get the best of
both worlds? I guess star coffee, rip the digital hookah, and now
I'm getting molested on the set of Embryonic Sheldon. He's a gooner Dutch.
He's a gooner Dutch. He goons for you. No, I don't goon
for you. I just say that transferm grinlin exposing people with a lactose and
torents of ninety million rodogens of ionized radiation. Yosh Craig the Canadian do you
goo, Do you goon? Son? Do you goon for me? It's
a boy. Shawnyd comes so fast turned bitches just functional. They call my
dick collateral damage. Hook up my car battery to a dead hooker's click and
bling and nose ring and call her Frankenstein's whore. Damn, that is crazy.
Three XO. Tap in a roach and cheese was like an ancient insect
and amber. That's crazy. That's crazy, And that's how we bring the
dinosaurs back somehow. I don't know George Lucas firing an RPG at the Goodyear
Blimp because it rhymes bok is so twenty twenty three, we're all about the
DEI now slurping' stroking, smoking, joking, emotocon going like this. Have
Derek watch just the first fifty episodes in one piece for sake of trying it.
I'll look, I'll watch two episodes and then change your fucking name.
Okay, I'll give it two episodes or something. Don't I don't even have
crunchy role. I don't know where they watch it, man, so whatever.
My dad has two foam kneeling pads for doing housework, one for inside
and one for outside. House kneeler and fe It cuts off en. What
are we doing here? American Outlaw winslow the cream corn kid Obi, won't
you blow me? Krimlin to Grimlin, Lord Bartholomey hand John Venture of anal
sex evil Sween says, I love the gays constanpations so powerful it made a
neutron star. God damn it's a lot. Come come already, shadow Man,
Come stun Comston Gayisin. That could have been better Gay. I feel
like Gamison would have been better Comston Badger, dumb and stupid. Where's the
extramal review of X ninety seven with Kingston Derek? All right, all right
wait Slave five Week three, Yeah, Yeah, We're gonna do that next
week. The Puppini Bros. Moderating the Great Space between Sweden loses points for
not knowing the term spear. Don Donkerson Listen to hit My Spot by your
Pretty Hand is not one of the best original gay songs I've ever heard.
You gotta pay the troll stow again the boys whole Gage six, Solid Snake
tweeting about how the woke mobs took over the military because he can't say slurs
anymore. That nice that's like that one fucking guy that was like, oh
gab it used to be released. We can't say fucked up ship anymore because
the woke modeling. When you fucking talking about you can say whatever you want
with your boys. You can still do it. Yeah, that has not
changed. It's just don't be a psycho. Yea. Even when I was
like trash talking people, I never like called random strangers slurs. I was
like, no, definitely did he wanted exception, he's the fucking crazy guy.
I definitely didn't because I did not do that. I just got a
fucking bitch. I called you stupid thought I would then I would say some
function. Sometimes I would call people. I would talk about people in the
game to the people in my chat, and I would describe them with the
F slur. For sure, right, I would call you. But I
wouldn't say that to people that I didn't know. I didn't do it sword
slur too, me using it them like I was crazy because it was it
was all. It was all to hurt because it's different, like it's a
call, dude, it's a call thing like he's not saying and work is
your race is very likely you just want to hurt someone. I feel like
that all of those people power though. I feel like it just charged everything
it does like it's the thing like I feel like it did the honest they
just gassed everyone up. I'll show you it would turned into it's a slur
cacophony of everybody in songs on the back and forth, and I'm like,
yeah, and he's just it. It's like yay, other people, I
mean, people mad mad because racial slurs, slur for the slurping. Yeah,
I love it. Bro gave me. That gave me life, Bro
made my day better. Good for you man, all right, let me
finish it. I didn't like that ship, Are you serious? And I
only one A lot of people did. But there's also a lot of you
know, people that have issues. Look, I I love trash talk.
I love it. I love when people are like crew An offensive and like
borderline cruel to one another on on video games. I love it. I
just think that there's like a degree of even there's a degree. It's almost
like the Geneva Conventions, you know what I mean, Like there's war and
then there's even still with war, like there's certain things that you just don't
do. And I feel like that's kind of one of those things where it's
like it's not even so much as saying the words so much as it is
just like throwing them at random people, random people, like that's crazy.
I love that shit. I don't. I don't do it anymore. I've
grown, but like I used to, fucking that's used to make me and
I think it's funny when it happened when I see clips of it. But
I think a lot of that is a lot of the comedy from that is
less about like the offensiveness, and it's more about just like the crudeness of
the microphones and like, dude that those Xbox Live messages of like the guy
that were the guys like you'll never be able to play smoke on the water
like me or something. So yeah you're gayay, like it's an iconic fucking
it's iconic, or like you don't have UNO Oh yeah, absolutely, I
have message people fucking ship and then block them so they cave and say it
back to me. I was an asshole, you know. It was the
new offenders of that. Now it's the people that won't let you at them
on Instagram. So if you go on Instagram, there's people that will turn
off the at so you can they can at you, but you can't in
a thread, so they can start a thread. Somebody can, some massive
hater can start a thread and you can't directly at them, so you can
comment under the thread, but it won't get their attention. Motherfucker. Yeah,
and there's all these devians that like and my thing is, I'm like,
bro, you should not be able to tag someone if you turn your
tags off, and they Instagram don't give a fuck. So there's a bunch
of trolls and devians in there. Some dude somebody's ship and I just fucking
blocked them. I know he was furious, and I fucking slept like a
baby because of that ship. Dude. The only time I felt good was
when so this guy, when Kobe Bryant died the same day, I was
like, oh man, I'm sad. I posted a video and ship and
this guy's like, oh fucking get it. Why do you give some I
was like you and I just went on. I just went on them.
I'm like, you're the biggest. I said a bunch of horrible things to
him and then I restricted him. So then he's just yelling into the void.
It feels good, it was good. Break it's fucked up. I
don't do it. That's the one time I did it because I was like,
how trash talking gaming? Why you can't you can't even you know,
that's like that that whole through line which I miss. I miss being able
to hear your opponents and call of duty. That was great. That proximity
was cool. It could happen, but like, yeah, I don't know.
I think for me, it's like, well, I made a video
about it, like the Bully Hunters thing a long time ago, where it's
like, my my problem is like it's just so so many people aren't creative
enough to do trash talking the way that they're emboldened to do it, you
know, like because there's always like whenever like a girl is in a game,
it's like I'm gonna rape you, bitch, and it's like, yeah,
come on, be there's there's you could be so much any more interesting,
be surgical, like find something you play smash when we play Smash at
our house, do when everybody's playing, say it's for both. It's not
like going to rape. It's like if somebody, if somebody would have if
someone were to figure out that I was black, I'd be really impressed,
you know what I mean, because just hearing me, you don't know,
I think you sound black. But I think it's because of the tone,
not because of your not because of the way you speak. Into your tone,
we have a different tone. You have a reverb and no way have
voices sound. Look, man, I feel like that's kind of like gets
into that race realism ship. But like because I don't, you don't you
don't think you don't think we have a particularly because I think it's a part
of our part. I'll do. I'll hear somebody fucking in the UK and
like a black dude in the UK, and if they if they didn't grow
up with with certain black people that you know, immigrated or whatever. I
have no like say, Anthony Joshua is a perfect example. The heavyweight boxer
Anthony Joshua just sounds like some fucking asshole from London to me, Really,
you think doesn't sound back at all. I think I think there's just a
bias from knowing why black, but black Americans I think have a particular tone
at least I think that might be it. I think I think it's especially
for British people to be honest with you, I hear it specific not like
Ari's elbow doesn't sound necessarily I think he does because he sounds like I think
something I've been because it's from fucking London, right, but it just almost
sounds like but like put this way, like ks I, I've met ks
I a million times. I haven't met KSI, you know what I mean,
Like that voice is copy pasted among them and it's kind of crazy genuine
that is, I know what you mean. But that is the animated like
Nigerian London night sounding voice, you know. Look like I've been there,
and I've been around a bunch of Jamaicans that are from London and they just
kind of like they sound in a particular way. To me, it sound
in particular, But I think that's because of like that area of the community
where they sound that way. Because I think I don't I think I don't
sound very black. But then my Lily is like, I think he's not
like a black person, But it's not because of the way you speak.
I don't think you sound I think I don't think you sound black. I
think it's the way it's not the way you speak. It's the sign of
a bit of the reburbing your voice. No, it is the way you
speak. I totally think it would be the way for me, for me,
for me, I think it's a it's a tone. I think it's
one just biased that if you just might if you strip, if you stripped
the and you can say the N word fifty times, so well, yes,
the words. That is the way you speak. By the way,
say, if we if we were to challenge Lily, we line up like
ten people just audio, just voices, and you were like, all right,
what are these people? I think she would get them all wrong because
like you just wouldn't know. It's like people talking to me over the phone
having interviews, say, for example, the racism that I would experience,
say talking calling up a job or something, inquiring about it versus in pulp
and in person, I would get further on the phone than and just looking
at me, they're like, you know, I don't know about this nigga
situation. Yeah, what do you mean debates? Oh, oh, gotcha,
gotcha. It was he was not even he was like the type of
person doing that was like was it was literally way worse than it was the
maids man like actually, like if you listen to them, he was kind
of, well, I don't know what this man is saying, but yeah,
look at me. I have the jaw line. And then man over
here is gang. So this is what you had. You had. You
had the dude bros that were like respect because they're like that guy looks cool.
You had the gaze that were like he's high and the girls are like
he's hot. And then the Nixon who looked like a fucking who looked like
he just raping a roach. The fucking I the visual of get down the
road that is, it's like, actually, that is fucking crazy showing the
funk up. I'm not the last page. Okay, actually I went for
it. Let me do one more. Oh my god, what's happening?
Dude? Help me? Criminal piss Man over here is Rey Todded. Peep,
Peep. I fucked a dude and I liked it the taste of his
wrinkled foreskin. And I fucked a dude just to try it. I don't
get the pepe part, like because it's I know, I know, it's
Katie Perry. It doesn't mate like I get I get what you're doing the
taste of it. His big old black dick. Yeah, that's it.
That's it right there. That's good, big old talking on seven signs.
Smoked your bitch chances. Uh oh yeah yeah. Indiana Bones and the arc
with the come in it. That's good. That's that's good. Yo,
am you listening? That's crazy. That that's pretty, that's really that's actually
genuinely great. Indiana Bones in the arc with the come in it, with
the come in it. Damn. I like you said already, I've been
already said that at least twice probably, and followed by the f slur,
the dominant I'm blue, I'm gay, I need of I'm I'm gay,
I'm in need of a guy. There we go. If I don't seemen,
I'll die. You can feel my behind. Semen as a verb till
you can till you can see was that semen as a verb? If I
don't seemen all it' it's it's it's it's a double entendre kind of oh if
I don't see men all do that is a double on time. Well,
it says, if if I don't get semen, i'll die. But that
doesn't work because there's too many syllables. But if if I don't seemen,
i'll die. Do that's good, that's mega good, that's well runn semen,
I'll die, yo, that's a double guy. If I don't see
man, I'll die. You can feel my behind till you can see intestines
and that's heinous. Damn people. When I see girls that fucking do so
like that like that, like and you can peering in a woman's assholes that
gave ship, Like I don't like, I don't like peering into that cave,
dude, that that that kind of ruins it for me. Like when
I can peer into the cave, I'm like, nope, if I could
see a liar, there's something wrong, Like what have you seen the is
it the prolapse that you almost It's the grossest thing I've ever seen, the
closest thing I've ever seen in my hilarious Do you think that I think it's
funny? I I giggle and I and I chortle and I ha ha,
I tongue them sometimes. I don't think they do a podcast with you,
bro. That's that's that's so gross A lot. I like to I like
to hit the hit him, like like I'm boxing, slap slap him back
in the speedbag. They're sitting on. They're sitting on like two poles,
rouch with their ass open. That is so disgusting. You box it.
That is so gross. And I'm sure that's happened. I'm sure there's definitely
a video on the fun The idea, the idea of people putting it back
in. It's crazy. It's like, up, my asshole came out,
and then you're just like, do you do that? How do you get
it reversed? How do you mean reverse prolapse? How do you I guess
you just shove it back in again? You relapse? How do you lapse?
That was what? That was what Ela. That's why I was so
bad because I was so ad. I'm trying to unprolapse himself. Just gonna
stand there and watch my ass dangle out my fucking button. But it's all
right because I like the way it feels. Oh my god, I like
the way it fuck my butthole. Let his penis wattle. You just hit
my buttole my promlem is dangling my prolapsey hangling. The fact that you would
put hang and dangle together is crazy. That's the same word that's a fusion
of a double word, dangling, laps hangle. I'm wrangling, strangling women
with my angus guys strangling, winging women, wrangling. That guy is following
me, and I don't like it. Eminem no, the guy that did
the Yeah, I don't like that, but it was following me. Of
all. You know, that's a disc specifically that would honestly scare the shad
I would, I would not even today, still no joke. I would
mention. I'd be like, looking look at him, I really I'm not
worth it. Please leave me alone, Please leave me alone. I didn't.
Actually, let's do a lot of his distracts because I don't know why.
I just missed a lot of them. I've been going down and they're
fucking mean. They're very poignant. Yeah, I get the meanest things I
ever heard, the meanest one, the one the job rule, that ship
is not nice, that one to job rules really really from that one that
joll needs it though he needed it, he needed he needed put me into
his place? Is that the one where So what's Haley gonna be when she
grows? And it's like, uh, I don't really want to joy like
you. I mean, it's the songs actually to bite too, and and
then he just like starts making fun of the fact I got undercover cops that
legally pop you. Yeah, I do remember that. That one is the
meanest one by far. That's what's crazy, all of them comparison to like
us, like us, that's crazy. That is the meanest distrack ever.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. The one before
it, yeah, you driver ahead of my life before the Meet the Grams.
No, I mean the one he did on Benzino was like you could
sound he sounded angry, he was he was aggressive at that it was aggressive.
But I think the one because that one is just like, well,
not like us. It's like you're a pedophile. So it's like it's a
genuine allegation the Graham because Don is gonna hear that song eventually, and that's
such a dimastic song for your And when he's distracting people, he's like having
fun with it. Oh Hendricks not have fun. Oh Kendrick is trying to
hurt him. He's so surgical that I actually just heard a breakdown of six
one six in l A the Great Songs, so uh like or six sixteen,
however, you want to say it. Yeah, the breakdown of it,
because there's a lot of nuance. I just didn't understand. When I
got the breakdown of the video I watched, I was fucking like jaw was
like kind of a gape where I'm like, this is so tactical in a
way that he had to have had this planned way in advance. You're not
doing that one now. No, it was the amount of nuance and how
deep it goes in the connections. I was like, it went completely over
my head. He wanted a reason to make fun of he was looking for
Drake Davin Marine. Yeah, he was like literally that's like, that's like
that's contempt. Yeah, it's like I hate you and I'm gonna wait,
I can't content three. But it's all too it. Drake took the fucking
bait man. Yeah, like in that big that big like he was like,
what am I doing? I'm out of here, I'm out of here.
Cole is not a battle rapper, is He's not like that doesn't none
of none of them. The thing is that none of them. Kendrick is
a good rapper, but he's not a bat not about not by any standing.
I guess. So he's just a very good rapper, very good rapper,
very surgical man, and he was not the thing and like Drake is
Drake really isn't cold cold technique. Why he get up there with them and
the heart The problem is that he's not a negative person genuinely. He's like,
I don't I like enjoying my life. I like riding my bike.
You don't have that. Uh. The show that he did where he like
started like kind of apologizing, I did see that clear. He was like
people, I was a couple of queers. He said Peo were making fun
of him during that that situation, he was like apologizing me, Like,
in my heart of hearts, it aged well that I'm not well. It
aged well. But it's like, in my heart of hearts, I'm not
a negative person. I respect Kendrick like I do. If I'm gonna I'm
gonna go up there and insult his music and be like, dude, I
don't mean that. He was probably crying after he released that first track.
He was like throwing up that he has a fucking trash candle on the side
of his bed because I'm throwing up. Does that happen to people? Get
crist about your vomit. People say that and I'm like, when is that
happen? Well, they definitely spur There's no way that's because here's what I
think happens. People are usually so upset that they are crying, but then
they are also so upset that they're fucking nauseous. I don't think they're I
don't think it's the crying. I've never been upset benous before. I've definitely
been so upset that I've been. I think there's people, there's some people
that have been so like because I don't think you've ever hysterically cried to the
level where some people like gag and throw up because like they're they have absolutely
lost my mind at least at least once. I've never I don't remember.
Have you spun? That's the level of that's the level Mario Sunshine Room.
That's the final level. Your toes and you haven't made you haven't gone flat
foot since, and you're just twirling that you gotta you gotta twirl. And
then it's to the point where you just sound like you're laughing now, like
it doesn't even sound like crying anymore. You're just laughing. It just sounds
like have you been there? No, but I've heard it. I heard
not this. I didn't see the swirling, but I heard hysterical crying so
hard that it just sounded like extreme laughter. And I was like, this
sucks because like, you can't. It's hard to feel bad for somebody because
you kind of want to laugh at one of our friends. One of our
friends one time, when she was crying, something happened that was really funny,
and I had to leave the room because I didn't want to laugh at
her crying. And I came back after I went to when I was like,
it's all right, Bud, I hate that. It's the thing is
that if I'm thinking of the situation that you're describing, that's not at all
what happened for a moment. Really, are you talking about when you bullied
that girl and made her cry? Yeah? I didn't. I didn't.
Wait wait wait, wait, wait, what's the story? What's the story?
I think a boy named Kingston who made a little I feel like every
time we talk about things I do, I's like the biggest piece of ship.
But sure, what did you do? She almost killed one of my
friends? And I made a joke about it. And then she started fucking
crying and like I was the bad guy for bringing up even though she fucking
did. She's the one that like almost killed your friend. I mean,
you got everybody. It was like, you're being a jerk, and I
was like, sounds like a little like I'm sorry I did. I'm not
the one who almost killed my homie. Like, what the fuck it was?
It was I've never done. It was a little bit different. There
was something it was because it wasn't immediate. We had already had that conversation
and like it had been kind of like water in the bridge for a while.
No, it was it had been months. It was mons And that's
what I thought. It was fun, dude, because that's the thing is
because the fact that us the dumb ship we do, we can make freaking
laugh at it immediately. That's stupid. But the thing is that I brought
up here and I was like, yeah, it was almost time when you
killed Jalen, Right, everyone laughed, and then she started crying and I
was like yeah, and I literally started laughing at her cry. But that
was so there are certain people that just can't hang, you know what I
mean, Like they can't they can't handle that level anyway? Where were you?
She was like, I'm out of here here hanging a bunch of you
weird me be fishy speaking incantations in the pussy call at spirit Box. Doctor
kid inspect, I didn't hear that one yet. I didn't hear that one
either, Doctor fuck. I'll carpet Bombagaza stripped for a quarter while John Strickland,
Uh, my partner snapped the chairs off my Uh, the chair legs
off my Chris rag and YouTube then proceeded to tear my legs off and self
defense Merks eighteen eighty nine, returning to the hospital I was born in to
reclaim what's mine? Uh? The first turkey David uh, slow motion dodging
cummies like Max Pain and shooting my own fresh load. Second tur to Key
David fishing me being better than the first tar to keep David pre Riz poop
cock Richard Blake eight nine six. Eminem scrambling to write something after Jason Alexander
left him. F YI, it's been over a year and Mama jaf is
still missing. How many pieces? Chris trying to read like Elden Ring shadow
of the N word tree dumb Alaskan oilfield trash textas says out young Sheldon being
thrown from bridge into traffic. I love it. I love it. I
seem to be careening towards trafficshole. I seem to have landed on my skull.
Mad fragment. Mad. He does a U turn on one going lane,
comes back around post on the side and starts beating the fun out of
it. Upset, he said, he jumping. No damage to the car.
You startled, the asshole startled. You're getting beat because you startled someone.
It's crazy. I see the video, the video of the guy being
like, all right here, turkey, get on out of here, and
it runs and it runs into traffic and the person hits the turkey right and
then and then the guy that has the turkey pulls over. He's like,
crazily, ever happened to me? Dude? Fucking turkey came to the wind
show and the turkey's in the window. It's two it's two videos of the
same event from like the perspective of it. That is amazing. You see,
like a turkey get the fuck out of your man. It's in a
truck and then it runs out into the street. Bam. And then the
video ends and then it comes out to some guys like you won't believe what
the fuck just happened. It's amazing, amazing. I saw something very recent
like that. This dumb fucking bitch on TikTok, she's really popular in TikTok,
was like, oh, I don't need a man, and she has
her hood up in her car and she's putting a fucking coolant. Oh when
should wipe her in her fucking engine? That must be on purpose. No,
so I thought I thought it was these days, you know what I
mean. No, so I thought it was too I because I even said
something in the comments, and she's actually very defensive. I was like,
it was real. And then the other thing, here's the other perspective.
She takes it to the mechanic and this is how I know it's real.
So the guy, clearly before he started filming, started opening it and started
seeing blue shiit come out, and he was like wait, wait, wait,
grabs his phone, calls his homie over and he's like, dude,
and you see the blue. She's like, dude, there's like fucking like
cooling or something, and it's pouring out and the guy they're like talking like
I've never seen anything like this before, and I was like, this is
I've never seen the aftermath of the somebody doing something so fucking stupid. That
sounds like something Sheldon would do. And like, I can tell you why
they're working up for this, but I can't tell you why they changed the
people when people danged up. That's over, he's dead. I have so
much rage internally. I'm so angry at women and minority with him. Jack
Sparrow the song to the song, I still remember that clown video. Dude,
Oh yeah, that is so funny because of the fake out. That's
what gets me. Dude, No, no, are you talking about the
guy who shoots the clown in his house? Pates of the Caribbean thing?
Yeah yah yeah yeah for the audience. Why is it that? I mean,
it's an adventure. I guess a song for renegades. You know,
it's a song for renegade behavior, like you if for real? I don't
know how long it's been since you've like driven by yourself, like in a
car and like blasted music. You blast that Pirates of the Caribbean thing.
You feel like you're going somewhere else. You're probably gonna crash. You feel
amazing, You're gonna dude. I did that with the I did that.
I did that with the Destiny sound of the Grass Rabbis Dungeon. And it
feels like you're doing something crazy illegal, even though you're not. You're going
like thirty five. You feel like you're winging it. Man, I'm so
fucking I'm so Sheldon. I'm so Sheldon. If you have so Sheldon,
I can't help. I swear to God, if I ever heard him say
that, I would sneak on the set. I would. It's over now
though I finished. I oh, I would shoot compressed the air up his
asshole until his intestines explode. Dude, those videosse videos are real video.
Oh what a frank motherfucker just collapses because he got his intestines blow. The
pieces like the cushion, the ones that they deplayed an air bag No no,
no, no, that's something else where they put the airbag onto the
cash cushion and somebody breaks their back and fly air pressured hose, which is
like, these people don't understand how fucking dangerous that ship is. Like,
hey, put that ship on your eye, see what happens. They would
know. But then but then for some reason think it's hilarious to put it
down their homies fucking light shorts or whatever had his intestines blowing the pieces days
later. It was an agony for fifteen straight days, and then he fasted
away. It's crazy people really do that. They're like dock like opened the
door and he got flung out led the country too. They got like,
oh yeah, they like, I'm gone. They didn't find him. It
was in India, by the way, of course, where dude, I
mean, these factory accidents there are like here's where they Here's where they happened,
China, Brazil, India. Ye, like I've never like, I've
seen some accidents happen in America, but nothing to the degree. Yeah,
it's where people like, oh, Jim's part of the machine. Now what
makes it funny is I've seen one of the some guys like like doing something
like a bit and then it's like when Trunk's blows up fucking cell, a
blast comes out of the pit and the guy flies away, and I'm like,
if you wecalling correctly, Trump didn't actually beat perfect Shell at all.
He beats Cell though he did. He in the future and he killed Cell.
You're not remembering it as torianma invision, he kills sell. I remember
have you seen have you seen that? That that scene from Big Bank period
where they're arguing about the p S four and the Xbox One. Have you
seen that? I saw a scene of where he can't make up his mind
of which one he that's what it is, where he's he's sitting there and
he's just and there's laugh tracks behind this conversation, and he's like, well,
what's cool about the Xbox One is you can plug your cable box into
it and there's obviously Halo and all these other games laugh track, last track.
But the PlayStation you can share your games. Ha. I want him
killed. So I saw I reacted to that. I reacted to the seat
of from that same episode, I guess where they're in the game store,
and he was saying like this is just as h like, it's hard.
It's so hard to choose. It's like fucking Beta Max versus VCR. And
then he said like the only reason I wanted Yeah, this not a joke.
He says something the oly reason and I went with the Beta Max because
of the format and something something to McNeil report or something something that no reference,
that nobody would know about that would even be watching the show. And
then the audience is I'm laughing, and I'm like I I like my soul
left my body for a minute. I was like, like that that went
viral long time. He was like, we were screaming at the screen.
Wonder that's still up somewhere. It must be Mine's not because my fucking TikTok
got nuked for no reason? Did you see that? U are? Uh,
it's back, it's reinstated now. But the clip of yeah, the
clip of us talking about Martin Scorsese directing, uh, frank is in the
hall, it got flagged for like flag for hates. And then almost like
did Frankie mune I see this ship? Is how I thought he would be,
like brilliant. He was like, this is cinema. This is cinema.
So I'm like, yeah, we went pretty hard on Frankie. He
didn't do anything wrong, not hurt. They fucking painted green shot on him,
didn't even cover his mouth's eyes. Ghost of Mama JF Sorry, Miss
Jackson, Badly Brave Hugger, Derek duck Hunt, the Vegan neckromanser, I
got consent. If you're in Brogerian punter nay from melpus one. I busted
my hands again last week, but the but the doctor diss was too tempting.
Uh and is running out our list as always, the King of haphazard
left track. Is this the longest I think the longest episode is probably the
longest one. You know this is this is an apology length for missing one
in uh in in June. Yeah, we got pretty much everything ironed out.
Now, we've got our we've got our editing pipeline sorded, we've got
this camera switcher work in, We've got everything. Everything's on June June was
uh yeah, the all right pipeline is in stated. Uh So there really
shouldn't be any scheduling issues from here on out. Some growing pains, but
we appreciate you sticking sticking by us. Uh and if you're obviously we didn't
mention Patreon at all this episode, but I want to mention other stuff.
I was saying, Oh, we should talk about doing competition, blah blah
blah. Oh that's right, let me write that down and we'll talk about
it next time. Oh right, Good girls, what's the mock? Yeah?
Do you think that's an inward version of that song? Like if not
Broken Girls? What's crazy that there's so many jokes like that that I thought
people would have made, but they don't because I guess other people aren't.
Just like casual racists, most people are not desensitized to that word as we
have been. That's very true, even I think a lot of black people
are. Quite frankly, that's very true. The way that the way that
you often say that word hard R is crazy. I don't say it that
often. You're out of your mind compared to what torby. I guess you
don't say it that much, but like you say it a lot, I
can. I've listened to my lesson saying it. Even on the podcast,
I don't say that word as much. We just talked about a clip that
guy pan for AIDS being specifically because you said the hard R. I didn't
say hard you are you hard R? On that clip? Are you trying
to gas light? No? I was it was it all? No?
No, it was it was. It wasn't a It wasn't that that it
was that was out. But like I mean, you say it, I
don't say too often anymore I've lessened. It makes you upset because I want
to use it more. There's nobody I know, there's nobody. I know,
there's nobody I even. I feel like you've definitely said it more than
even races have in their entire probably. Yeah, that's that's I believe that
for sure. My I think is my content is so heavily based on around
it now it's like I don't got to say it. M if we go,
if we go through mine and Dereks that is on Instagram, you'll be
blown away. There's even videos of nine to eleven and the N word being
said together listen, and that's just double whammy for me. Bro. Well,
look, the point is there's a lot of there's a lot of comedies
to be mine in in this crazy space that I don't think. I think
most people are too well adjusted to bother with. No, it's great because
they all think it's funny. Yeah you know what I want good we can
be the only people doing it. Someone make this for me, because you
know, obviously there's the Sega jingle and then there's nigga like cute. I
want somebody hard r it though, I think that would be way better hard
like actual say it though you have Sonic, you know when Sonic runs by
and then it reveals the sega, I still want it, but it just
says the N word it real quick, and then there's the blood sign and
then like it runs away. Yeah exactly. He takes off the plan the
plan outfit. And can you imagine a world can you imagine a world where
like racism was branded and treated as if it was like the best possible content
for kids, like in the sense of like Blues Clues, Like it's treated
sincerely like cute. Yeah, but like what's his name? Steve from Blues
Clues has like isn't a clan hoodie? Yeah? He's that is so that
so inherently insane that the world that that exists, that world that that exists
in is a different color from this planet. What's the matter of blue?
Is there a colored fella outside one of them? Uh? Salt and pepper
would be the salt and the N word. Yeah, yeah, I feel
salt and vinegar. What if that's the only difference between say, there's life
in the Andromena galaxy, it's racism is the only thing we have different from
them, Like it's it's the only reversed. Like their racism is playful,
like they see it as so if somebody were to actually make it over here
and they would see and they would think that's the determinative DeArment and fun and
ship and they would see like blues clues here and they'd be like, fuck,
what is this? Like why why aren't they saying slurs? Yeah?
They look the history and they're like, yo, what's wrong with you guys?
That's for TV that's supposed to be fun completely, Like how would you
put all this? Poor Rodney King guy? Why did they do that to
you? Guys? Like you guys still say the N word? What are
you six? You? It's like words. It's almost like it's almost like
they treat it like if you say, mommy, you know what I mean?
Yeah? Yeah, my mommy baby? What is what is the what
is the evolution of that word? Like it's a such a it's such a
visceral slur that you feel hurt when some respect American is where is where it
would have all you and that society, wouldn't it? Yeah? I guess
so exactly you respect the African American person. And it's like how you make
it to the Andromena galaxy and then that's it. How fucking upset we you
be? Like I should have stayed home, like like I. There is
no difference exactly. I should have stayed home as I think, I think,
I feel constantly even when I am home, I should hear home,
and I should have stayed. I should have stayed in the other room.
I should have I should have gotten up at all I did I Why did
I win the race? Yeah, this is like three suck your mother?
Why did I win the race? Why was that the fastest sperm