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Welcome to Spotlight. I'm Adam Novice
and I'm Katie Blake. Spotlight uses a

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special English method of broadcasting. It
is easier for people to understand no matter

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where in the world they live.
Parents do many things that children never see.

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Parents pay school costs, they buy
clothes and food, They pay bills,

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They fix things when they break.
They make rules that protect the children.

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Children do not always understand and all
the work it takes to be a

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parent. Young children sometimes dream about
what they will do differently when they become

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parents. They may think they will
stay up all night, they will watch

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movies and eat candy, and when
they become parents, they will let their

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children have lots of fun. They
will never shout at or punish their children.

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But some children must learn very quickly
that being a parent is not easy.

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In terrible situations, both a mother
and father cannot care for their children.

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The reason may be death, illness, or even parents that are present

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but too stressed. When this happens, the oldest child can become like the

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parent to the other children. The
older child needs to learn about all the

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things a parent must do. A
child is rarely prepared to do any of

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them. Today's spotlight is on forming
a family when siblings, brothers and sisters

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must act like parents. Kathy Bolkowski
was only nineteen years old when her father.

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Her mother had died three years earlier. She had a brother who was

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fourteen, a sister who was thirteen, and another brother who was ten.

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Kathy was old enough to live by
herself, but her siblings were not.

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She did have family, but they
lived far away. Some of her family

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were willing to care for one child, but no one could take them all.

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Cathy wanted to keep her siblings together. Her mother had died, then

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her father had died. She did
not want the best of her family to

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be separated, so she decided to
become mother to her own siblings. Kathy

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had to become more responsible than most
nineteen year old people. She could not

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go out with her friends at the
weekend. She did not have time for

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a boyfriend. She had to worry
about being a good parent. She did

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not even have much time to think
about her own parents' death. She told

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NPR, probably one of the most
difficult parts is that we had to just

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keep going. It has taken a
long time to understand the death of our

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parents. It was difficult for my
brothers and sisters. They had this loss

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too, and suddenly their big sister
was in control and they did not have

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any other choice. Kathy lives in
the United States, but all around the

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world people take care of their siblings. Death, sickness, or even events

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like earthquakes or flooding can separate families. For Gloria Afia, war separated her

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family. Gloria Afia was seventeen years
old. She lived in Juba, the

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capital of South Sudan, with her
brother, aged twelve, and her sister

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aged four. Her parents had died. The children were living with their uncle.

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In twenty sixteen, there was a
civil war in South Sudan. Soldiers

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killed her uncle. Gloria fled with
her younger siblings to the country of Uganda.

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Gloria and her siblings settled in a
refugee camp. There, she began

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to understand that now she would have
to take care of her siblings. She

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explained to the Danish Refugee Council.
When we arrived at the camp, a

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woman was supposed to take care of
us, but she went back to Congo,

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where she was from. Now I
do not know what will happen next.

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There is no one other than me
to take care of my brothers and

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sisters. It often feels like too
much responsibility, but what can I do?

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There is no one else. Gloria
is doing the best she can in

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a difficult situation. She is not
able to attend school because she must work.

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She is learning how to make clothes, but she is proud that her

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hard work means that her siblings are
able to attend school. She is trying

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to give her siblings a good life, just like a parent would. People

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who raise their own siblings have many
challenges. They may need legal control of

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their siblings to make big decisions,
and a sibling in authority is still a

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sibling, and siblings often fight.
They fight about big things and little things.

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But just because one sibling has authority, it does not mean that all

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the siblings are going to listen and
obey. Siblings who act like parents need

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emotional and physical support. They have
lost their parents, But older siblings like

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Kathy or Gloria do not often have
time to stop and cry and be sad.

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These older siblings need to find food, money, and a safe place

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to sleep. But no one raises
children on their own. All parents need

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a support system, people and groups
who can help. Help can be government

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programs, religious communities, families,
or friends. Vicky Panascione is a child

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psychologist and works at the Better Parenting
Institute. She told NPR the support system

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is very important for siblings acting like
parents, and some people do not have

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one. They are alone. They
are in this middle place because they are

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not with people their own age,
but they do not fit in with the

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parents either. Parents look at them
as a child. It is important for

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that sibling to talk with someone who
is in a similar position, or to

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family members or friends. No one
should have to take this work all on

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their own. Siblings that act like
parents are dealing with tragedy. But a

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family formed this way does not have
to hold only sadness. They can also

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hold love. Kathipolkowski from the beginning
of this program raised her siblings to day.

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She says they are very close.
One of her brothers has his own

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three children. Kathy says they are
more than just her nieces, they are

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more like grandchildren. Families like hers
are just one kind of loving family.

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Have you ever taken care of your
brothers and sisters? Do you know someone

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who has? Tell us about it? You can leave a comment on our

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website or email us at Radio at
Radio English dot net. You can also

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comment on Facebook at Facebook dot com
slash Spotlight Radio. The writer of this

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program was Adam Narvis. The producer
was Michio Ozaki. The voices you heard

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were from the United Kingdom and the
United States. All quotes were adapted for

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this program and voiced by Spotlight.
You can listen to this program again and

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read it on the internet at www
dot Radio English dot net. This program

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is called Forming a Family Siblings as
Parents. Look for our app in the

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Google play Store and in iTunes.
We hope you can join us again for

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the next Spotlight program. Goodbye,