Comedy Central Podcast. How we are. I' m Danico and Rivera,
I' m Galician. It' s no weather luck. You have here
impressive uncle. In Galicia we do not conceive temperatures above thirty- five degrees,
that is, the other day a colleague from Cordoba calls me. They
call me no other. You' re gonna believe it. Dani, we
' re at 45 degrees. I didn' t even think I could be
talking about temperature degrees. I thought they' d be very inclined Hostia.
Yes, that' s how this art is to ask me why Galicia has
so much drug trafficking. It' s the last time I say it,
because there' s nothing like Galician character to survive an interrogation by the Civil
Guard. Take your information out to a man who takes a different one out
of every question. You know what I mean. You know this man,
you know, you know what you mean by knowing and you don' t
get any more uncle. That' s how we Galicians are. Forbidding drugs
is forbidding the poor to go on vacation. It doesn' t say drugs
are bad. It' s also bad smoke when your cars go from Madrid
to Valencia, uh, it' s all a fucking caravan. It'
s bad, it' s smoke, because there are people who want to
go on vacation, they don' t have a car and they make a
different smoke, because less harmful, more fun and I can assure you that
more people die traveling by car than traveling in their living room. This fact
is true. There' s no documented case of someone dying of marijuana overdose.
I guess because you' re fucking asleep first. You know, you
' d have to smoke a lot of joints and put a lot of alarms
on the alarm clock. Yeah, man, the other day I was reading
about a girl, an English girl, man, Jemman Mos, keep this
name. Jemmams thirty- one years, the first candidate to die of marijuana
overdose. Jemman Mos' acquaintances said she smoked half a joint a day.
I didn' t understand anything ur until I saw the images. You have
to see that half porroti there were whole eggs and just crapped inside that half
joint. You know so it' s not worth it I feel isolated case.
Marijuana remains the safest means of transportation in the world. It' s
worth ironically. They don' t let you smoke, they don' t
let you drive. I don' t know if I knew this fact.
You go to a drug control and you can give positive marijuana 24 hours after
you' ve smoked. I mean, marijuana THC stays longer in the body
than heroin. That means you could give this case. Hey, Juan Juan
Wake up, man that the one who just remembered that I smoked half a
joint in the morning that you' re going to have to drive, don
' t worry about this one not a coconut. I pricked myself three hours
ago bad was balls how you smoke half a hairy joint you' re crazy.
You haven' t seen what happened to the English girl. Impressive.
Man, no one cares about the poor, not those who care about them
worry badly. An example Antonio Abad, creator of the technology platform Mega Fun
Net aimed at people at risk of social exclusion sharing video image files. That
' s a very good idea, Antonio. If it wasn' t for
people who are at risk of social exclusion don' t have the Internet,
what' s your next project, Antonio, you' re going to organize
a coup tournament in Damascus for Syrian refugees to improve their swings. Those are
your plans. Juan doesn' t like sports, but now I have a
kid. When you have a kid, you have a new superpower to pretend
interest suy a dro. For example, another day I was in my room
jerking off suddenly calls me the kid Dad, Dad Frené, Frené who can
give you a stroke Salgo running with the blue eggs I enter in the living
room and see my son playing the UI look Dad I am champion of the
Cup Caparazon with great trupa cup. Diego, I' m going to my
room to get the champions' flag. It' s been 15 minutes and
he doesn' t want another child anymore. Carloca uncle not another. Now
it' s no longer worth it. They' re for life, man,
it' s not independence anymore. I' ve seen cradles in Ika
that set zero forty years. They' re fucking making you a marriage crib.
There' s no bun oven. Not the bird is the fastest train
in the world and point, there' s no magnet train in China that
' s faster, but it doesn' t touch the ground. If you
don' t touch the ground, it' s not a fucking train.
It' s a semantic issue. It is as if now we build a
highway from here Barcelona to Madrid, we put a plane flying low and say
that we have the fastest bus in the world, but that it does not
touch the ground, not the alsan magneto missile not that lame. The truth
is, I' m an atheist, not because I chose him. My
parents washed my head when I was little. I' d like to be
a believer, dude I miss having faith Dude Any religion would have been worth
less Jewish Don' t get me wrong. It' s nothing racial,
but I don' t trust people who have very bad luck. Both Russians
have very bad luck. Not always surrounded by tragedies. They didn' t
do anything. They don' t remind me a little bit like Mariana Rajoy
and Esperanza Guirde, not always surrounded by corrupt people. The good people they
are. Not me, because they saved themselves from the helicopter, not,
but I' d say they' re Jews Look at the bad luck of
those people. I found a website where they recount all the corruption cases that
have occurred in the history of democracy. Evidently, since I don' t
have DSL, I couldn' t see it and went to another website where
they put a recount of corruption cases that have occurred in this legislature. There
goes the data PP one hundred and seventy- seven cases of corruption, weighed
the one hundred and twenty- eight converged Junion, fourteen PNV, thirteen United
Left, eight fuck, if it is the seats that are giving them the
polls of the FIS. You know what I mean. It' s the
demonstration that people like to vote for those who steal is not how that'
s why the United Left is getting their hands on Auntie Hostia with eight cases
of corruption. We' re not gonna rule in our fucking life. It
makes the ego of the human being respect and rome. It' s like
every time we make a movie, think about this about aliens, whenever they
come down they talk to us, that' s to say they really believe
a being who' s able to cross the whole universe. It' s
good to come here what an intellectual quotient has nine thousand ninety zero. You
think you' re going to see a difference between the intelligence of a human
and any other animal. I' ll put it on another phone. Imagine
what it' s worth to you. Imagine that it takes you a planet
where there are only ilubin salmon who you' d talk to first and fucking
idea truth you still talk to a salmon and you' re disrespecting the bass,
but you have the fucking idea, because why it blows you. And
that' s what I think would happen if they come and blow it to
us, the trees blow it to us, they' re not living beings
like us and we rip them off to make Christmas ornaments, what they'
re going to suffer, they' re not trees. That' s what
we deserve, that aliens come with a single mission, use us as Christmas
ornaments, and that' s the end of the human being. In balls,
in the corner of the living room, of a Vulcanian with two colored
balls, hanging from the eggs and in front a guy saying what they will
suffer. Fuck, they' re just human,' cause I got a
plastic one. Pacma' s Martian plays balls. Even the word alien is
already offensive. Perse extra uncle to you. I' d like you guys
to call you extra- Vulcanians. For example. No one imagines this is
another side. No one imagines believing aliens. True, we assume that they
are atheists, that is, there was never a news in the fourth millennium
of a guy saying that I am abtujero to me they made me the first
Communion. That never happens. No, yeah, they' re always like
scientific experiments that have to do with the ass It' s okay, and
I didn' t do the first Communion. But that' s not the
first Communion. Dude, that' s before in pop parish or. But
we do need to. We don' t need to believe in things.
We don' t always need like a demigod not to tell us more or
less. How to behave, no, how to behave, how to do
Jesus Christ was not even the first, it will not be the last,
that no one will miss if in two thousand years we see a man saying
then I do not like that my wife wear those measures, because Superman would
not see it well, not and hold that at Christmas the gifts bring them
the fantastic four unless you behave badly. Then Magneto comes in and they give
you some bracquets and fuck off. No, because that' s what it
' s all about, not making up moves. Before I leave here,
I want to send a message to a lot of people here right now who
are having a hard time and don' t have to have a hard time.
I' m talking about all those who have been unfaithful to your partner
and feel like your ass, because you haven' t told each other you
can raise your hand. No, we won' t, like there'
s no one here in that situation and hating me I' m not gonna
tell you the truth. It' s okay for you to stay calm,
so tonight you' ll sleep with each other and say it' s okay.
I' ll tell you the truth. Faithfulness is bullshit. Jesus Christ
said it how you stay put it in the fucking Bible. Uncle killed five
twenty- seven Bar twenty- eight and I say literally you heard what they
said. You will not commit adultery. I, however, love jc however,
I, however, tell you that everyone who looks at a woman greedy
for her has already committed adultery in his heart with her, for look male.
If I' ve already screwed up thinking about it, I' ll
fuck her up. I want to go if you think about it, if
the sins of thought are worth the same as the sins of action? The
sins of action are not going to make a difference in global computation, so
since we' ve screwed up so much throughout our lives. Well, cór
is now having a good time and fucking wo.