WEBVTT 1 00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:47.039 Good evening, aunties. Welcome to blurry Photos three photos. I am deviling 2 00:00:47.280 --> 00:01:04.920 in Laura and I am the anguished spirit of Beaviingster. You turn, you 3 00:01:06.040 --> 00:01:15.480 turn into a power drill with the Yeah. Oh see, I can't even 4 00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:23.560 fake and anguished spirit. I'm too upbeat. Uh yeah, welcome to the 5 00:01:23.599 --> 00:01:26.120 podcast. We got a fun one in store for you, guys. Oh 6 00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:30.760 man, we have been dangling this carrot in front of you for some time, 7 00:01:30.799 --> 00:01:38.480 and now time has come to put up and not shut up. Better 8 00:01:38.519 --> 00:01:42.319 than putting out and not shutting up, I guess really no, all right, 9 00:01:44.280 --> 00:01:49.040 so happy hollow mess to everyone. Oh that's right. And uh and 10 00:01:49.040 --> 00:01:53.159 and top of a palm Wayne to you? Is there an M in there? 11 00:01:53.519 --> 00:01:57.239 Wayne? Oh yeah, the M d M's Celtic. So yeah, 12 00:01:57.280 --> 00:02:02.959 so you don't um, but I hope everybody's lighting some bonfires and driving some 13 00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:07.400 model ts up on haystacks. Yeah, I mean, and don't fall for 14 00:02:07.519 --> 00:02:10.360 whatever mom and dad do to keep you out of trouble. You you reassemble 15 00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:16.280 that wagon on top of their house. Don't be swayed by delicious candy corn 16 00:02:19.439 --> 00:02:23.759 bobbing for apples, I mean, take their bribes. Do you know how 17 00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:28.120 many people have stuck their face in that bobbing for apples. Yeah, that's 18 00:02:28.120 --> 00:02:31.960 a set bucket. So tonight we've led up to it and now it's time 19 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:39.719 to deliver. We will be telling ghost stories by candlelights. English tales really 20 00:02:39.840 --> 00:02:43.599 is by candle lights. And you guys are enjoying this, but I find 21 00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:49.360 it romantic and terrifying, mostly because I'm just here with a dude. That's 22 00:02:49.400 --> 00:02:53.439 the terror in the dark. With candles and all we have to console each 23 00:02:53.479 --> 00:02:59.400 other or terrifying ghost stories. It's gonna be great. Absolutely, I'm telling 24 00:02:59.439 --> 00:03:02.840 you right now now, stop listening if you didn't sleep well last night, 25 00:03:02.879 --> 00:03:07.599 because I guarantee you're not sleeping well tonight. I'd also advise stop listening if 26 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:13.439 you are sitting in the dark going to bed, want to go to bed, 27 00:03:13.719 --> 00:03:16.400 breathing, if you consume any liquids at all. Yeah, see, 28 00:03:16.520 --> 00:03:21.080 this is what no other podcast does, will tell you when you shouldn't be 29 00:03:21.120 --> 00:03:23.319 listening. Oh, listen to us all the time. No, there are 30 00:03:23.360 --> 00:03:28.120 circumstances under which you shouldn't be listening. If you are pregnant, if you 31 00:03:28.199 --> 00:03:32.360 have heart palpitations, if you have diverticulitis, if you aren't tall enough to 32 00:03:32.439 --> 00:03:38.080 ride certain rides. If you're taking medications that suppress your immunal response, if 33 00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:43.240 you have gastrointestinitis, if you have recurrent diarrhea, if you make up words 34 00:03:43.280 --> 00:03:51.319 like gastrointestinitis, the whole thing is inflamed. Yeah, if you have a 35 00:03:51.439 --> 00:03:54.639 raging urinary tract infection, you probably don't want to be listening to this. 36 00:03:54.840 --> 00:04:03.240 You got bigger fish to fry. Moving on, So let's just get started. 37 00:04:03.240 --> 00:04:08.520 Because Flora, I believe that you have a tale that will chill the 38 00:04:09.039 --> 00:04:17.680 soul I do. Indeed, this tale is called the mental patience. A 39 00:04:17.759 --> 00:04:23.439 young woman had just finished nursing school and in need of experience, she volunteered 40 00:04:23.480 --> 00:04:27.560 at the mental health clinic near her home. Because it was her first real 41 00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:30.879 job, she didn't have to deal with the really dangerous mental patients. Instead, 42 00:04:30.879 --> 00:04:34.680 they assigned her to work with the less violent patients, the suicidal, 43 00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:39.519 people that depressed, those who heard voices, those who never said anything at 44 00:04:39.560 --> 00:04:43.040 all, things like that. She worked with a lot of mental patience, 45 00:04:43.120 --> 00:04:46.040 but her favorite was an old man named Arthur. He was mute. He 46 00:04:46.160 --> 00:04:48.959 never said a word, He just sat in his chair and nodded his head. 47 00:04:49.720 --> 00:04:54.120 As the days passed by, she became very close to Arthur. He 48 00:04:54.199 --> 00:04:57.519 was a very good listener. She would talk to him for hours and he 49 00:04:57.519 --> 00:05:00.279 would just listen and nod his head. Told him about her parents, her 50 00:05:00.319 --> 00:05:04.639 friends, all her problems, everything that happened in her life. Most people 51 00:05:04.639 --> 00:05:09.079 would have been bored, but not Arthur. He just sat there and nodded 52 00:05:09.120 --> 00:05:12.680 as she moaned and complained and told him about all the little things that were 53 00:05:12.680 --> 00:05:17.360 bugging her in her life. Arthur just nodded. After several months of working 54 00:05:17.360 --> 00:05:21.160 with Arthur, the nurse decided that he didn't belong in an a sane asylum. 55 00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:25.879 He couldn't be very happy sitting in a room by himself, nodding all 56 00:05:25.959 --> 00:05:29.800 day. That evening, she had a meeting with the supervisor of the clinic. 57 00:05:30.240 --> 00:05:32.399 She said that Arthur didn't pose a threat to anyone and ask him to 58 00:05:32.480 --> 00:05:35.680 be allowed to leave the asylum and live on his own. He was a 59 00:05:35.720 --> 00:05:40.160 gentle soul, He was able to feed and groom himself. He deserved to 60 00:05:40.199 --> 00:05:44.000 be free. There's nothing wrong with him, she said. Arthur just nods. 61 00:05:44.839 --> 00:05:47.839 The supervisor didn't agree with her, but the young nurse wasn't about to 62 00:05:47.879 --> 00:05:51.959 take no for an answer. Every day, after working with Arthur, she 63 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:57.079 would corner the supervisor and argue with him about the pros and cons of releasing 64 00:05:57.199 --> 00:06:02.040 Arthur into the community. Eventually, the day came when her persistence paid off. 65 00:06:02.639 --> 00:06:08.680 The supervisor finally admitted defeat and agreed to let Arthur go. The young 66 00:06:08.759 --> 00:06:13.519 nurse was overjoyed and rushed to tell Arthur the good news. She told him 67 00:06:13.519 --> 00:06:15.600 he was free. Now he could leave the clinic and live all on his 68 00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:20.639 own. Arthur just nodded. She wrote her name and address on a piece 69 00:06:20.639 --> 00:06:25.480 of paper and thrust it into Arthur's hand. She kept telling him that she 70 00:06:25.600 --> 00:06:28.160 was really going to miss him. Most of all, she would miss talking 71 00:06:28.160 --> 00:06:31.040 to him every day. The young nurse told him to be sure to write 72 00:06:31.079 --> 00:06:33.920 her as often as possible. She wanted to hear how things turned out for 73 00:06:34.040 --> 00:06:40.360 him after his release. Arthur just nodded. The nurse went home that evening 74 00:06:40.360 --> 00:06:44.720 feeling very pleased with herself. She'd finally managed to get Arthur free from the 75 00:06:44.759 --> 00:06:48.000 insane asylum. She told her parents and her sister the good news. Her 76 00:06:48.079 --> 00:06:51.360 months of hard work had finally paid off. When she went to bed, 77 00:06:51.399 --> 00:06:57.199 that night, she fell asleep with a satisfied smile on her face. In 78 00:06:57.279 --> 00:07:00.959 the middle of the night, she was rudely awakened by the sound of screaming. 79 00:07:00.720 --> 00:07:05.199 It seemed to be coming from downstairs. Frightened, she gathered her wits 80 00:07:05.240 --> 00:07:10.040 about her. She jumped out of bed and bravely crept down the darkened staircase. 81 00:07:11.160 --> 00:07:15.079 There in the hall, she found the bodies of her mother, her 82 00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:18.759 father, and her sister. They were lying in a pool of blood. 83 00:07:19.680 --> 00:07:23.720 As she bent over them, trying to see if they were still alive, 84 00:07:24.399 --> 00:07:29.959 she saw a shadow moving across the hallway. She looked behind her and was 85 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:33.959 confronted by a large figure standing motionless in the doorway. The scream died in 86 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:39.600 her throat. It was Arthur. He was just standing there, staring at 87 00:07:39.639 --> 00:07:43.839 her. His eyes were wild. In one hand, he held a bloody 88 00:07:43.839 --> 00:07:46.800 axe. In the other hand, he was holding a piece of paper, 89 00:07:46.639 --> 00:07:49.800 the same piece of paper on which she had written her name and address. 90 00:07:51.319 --> 00:07:56.920 The young nurse was shaking with fear. Arthur raised the axe above his head. 91 00:07:57.160 --> 00:08:01.040 His eyes were bugging out of his sockets. Are you here to kill 92 00:08:01.079 --> 00:08:09.519 me? She croaked. Arthur just nodded, So, what's is that a 93 00:08:09.639 --> 00:08:15.720 morality tale? Do we not don't help the insane? People just don't help? 94 00:08:15.800 --> 00:08:20.800 People in mutes are just time bombs? Did did she not ever stop 95 00:08:20.839 --> 00:08:24.560 and think why is he in here in the first place? Yeah? And 96 00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:28.920 why didn't they tell her? Yeah? Also, um, maybe maybe there's 97 00:08:28.959 --> 00:08:33.559 not a bad guy. He has just heard this woman complain about everyone in 98 00:08:33.559 --> 00:08:35.639 your life, and he's like, hey, I'm just returning the favor. 99 00:08:37.159 --> 00:08:41.559 Yeah. It's like the world doesn't need such filthy haints like you, you 100 00:08:41.639 --> 00:08:46.200 know, daddy. No, He's like, hey, thanks for doing me 101 00:08:46.200 --> 00:08:50.360 a sell and getting me out of the psycho pokey. Now I'm gonna yeah, 102 00:08:50.440 --> 00:08:54.919 let me clear up some of your issues. I'm like a therapist, 103 00:08:54.279 --> 00:09:00.360 but with an axe. No, I chop through some issue. See it 104 00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:03.679 for you. I like that one. I like that one a lot, 105 00:09:03.720 --> 00:09:07.759 although the very beginning of it made it sound like it might have been a 106 00:09:07.799 --> 00:09:15.000 pornographic story. Well, Eleanor had just finished nursing school and needed to get 107 00:09:15.080 --> 00:09:18.679 more experience with people. Is that just the way I read? She took 108 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:24.240 a job in the non violence wing of the insane asylum. I don't know 109 00:09:24.480 --> 00:09:30.600 what doesn't start out that could be a porn. You're right, You're absolutely 110 00:09:30.679 --> 00:09:35.759 right. There's nothing that cannot be turned into a tale of sexual exploits. 111 00:09:35.879 --> 00:09:39.039 I mean, I'm gonna read just a few sentences from the Monkeys Paul here, 112 00:09:39.039 --> 00:09:41.559 and you tell me if it doesn't sound like a porn Okay, okay. 113 00:09:43.519 --> 00:09:48.240 Without the night was cold and wet, but in the small parlor of 114 00:09:48.480 --> 00:09:54.639 Laburnum Villa, the blinds were drawn and the fire burned brightly. See okay, 115 00:09:54.679 --> 00:09:58.039 all right, I'm gonna test it again. I am randomly. I'm 116 00:09:58.120 --> 00:10:03.879 gonna start a random scary story. One time a preacher went to see if 117 00:10:03.879 --> 00:10:05.759 he could put a haunt to rest at a house and his settlement. And 118 00:10:05.799 --> 00:10:13.360 wait, wait, let me reread that. One time a preacher went to 119 00:10:13.399 --> 00:10:16.000 see if he could put a hand to rest in a house in his settlement. 120 00:10:18.600 --> 00:10:24.720 You are right. Every ghost story has a very palpable sexual subcontext. 121 00:10:24.799 --> 00:10:31.000 I'm gonna I'm gonna test this out to story. This is awesome. When 122 00:10:31.159 --> 00:10:35.000 Arthur and Annie went to high school, they fell in love. They were 123 00:10:35.039 --> 00:10:41.039 both big, fat and jolly and seemed suited for one another. So I 124 00:10:41.200 --> 00:10:46.200 have the odyssey. Oh nice, okay, sing to me of the man 125 00:10:46.519 --> 00:10:52.840 mused the man of twists and turns, driven time and again off course once 126 00:10:52.840 --> 00:11:01.000 he had plundered the hallowed heights of Troy. I mean that one's probably homo 127 00:11:01.080 --> 00:11:07.519 erotica, yeah yeah, but it still works. Or it's Gooney's fan fiction. 128 00:11:09.159 --> 00:11:16.840 Yeah, because Troy. Everything's over when you ride up Troy's bucket. 129 00:11:22.360 --> 00:11:26.879 All right, Spooky's tale. So that's that's a moral not only of that 130 00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:30.919 story, but probably of this entire podcast. Yeah exactly. All right, 131 00:11:30.960 --> 00:11:33.440 Now this one, this is what I enjoyed because of the sound effects. 132 00:11:33.919 --> 00:11:39.080 So I know that you the listener, have come to expect a very high 133 00:11:39.159 --> 00:11:45.960 quality of folly work, and this story will pay you in that. This 134 00:11:46.080 --> 00:12:00.440 story is entitled Clinkitty Clink. Okay, this one might break our story of 135 00:12:00.559 --> 00:12:16.240 erotic opanies. Okay, an old lady got sick and dying man are talking 136 00:12:16.279 --> 00:12:26.240 about I'm so turned on, right, oh man? That is okay? 137 00:12:26.279 --> 00:12:37.480 All right, seriously, this is where the terror begins. We've ruined these 138 00:12:41.240 --> 00:12:48.320 story deep then it's over, sorry, everybody. This podcast will be entitled 139 00:12:48.320 --> 00:12:56.720 We Ruin Halloween. Okay, we started ruining Halloween with the Pumpkin discussions. 140 00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:03.080 True, Okay, I'm ready now I can do. An old lady got 141 00:13:03.159 --> 00:13:07.399 sick and died. She had no family and no close friends, so the 142 00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:09.679 neighbors got a grave digger to dig a grave for her, and they had 143 00:13:09.720 --> 00:13:13.639 a coffin made and they placed it in her living room, as was the 144 00:13:13.720 --> 00:13:18.440 tradition. They washed her body and dressed her up in her best clothes and 145 00:13:18.480 --> 00:13:22.600 put her in the coffin. When she died, her eyes were wide open, 146 00:13:22.799 --> 00:13:26.879 staring at everything and seeing nothing. The neighbors found two old silver dollars 147 00:13:26.879 --> 00:13:31.440 on her dresser and they put them on her eyelids to keep them closed. 148 00:13:31.919 --> 00:13:35.039 They lit candles and sat up with her so that she would not be too 149 00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:39.399 lonely on that first night that she was dead. The next morning a preacher 150 00:13:39.440 --> 00:13:43.480 came and said a prayer for her. Then everybody went home. Were they 151 00:13:43.519 --> 00:13:48.120 there all night? There's two guys, well, it says everybody went home. 152 00:13:48.159 --> 00:13:50.799 So it sounds like the preacher and the two guys. Maybe she had 153 00:13:50.840 --> 00:13:54.360 no family, no close friends, but there's a lot of folks helping her 154 00:13:54.399 --> 00:13:58.840 out. You do that, and good Christian as was the tradition. Later, 155 00:14:00.120 --> 00:14:03.000 the grave digger arrived to take her to the cemetery and barrier. He 156 00:14:03.159 --> 00:14:07.039 stared at the silver dollars on her eyes, and he picked them up. 157 00:14:07.440 --> 00:14:11.360 How shiny and smooth they were, How thick and heavy They're beautiful, he 158 00:14:11.399 --> 00:14:16.759 thought, just beautifully. He looked at the dead woman with her eyes wide 159 00:14:16.759 --> 00:14:20.799 open. He felt she was staring at him, watching him hold her coins. 160 00:14:22.200 --> 00:14:24.279 It gave him a creepy feeling, so he put the coins back on 161 00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:28.120 those eyes of hers and kept them closed. But before he knew it, 162 00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:31.679 his hands reached down again and grabbed the coins and stuck them in his pocket. 163 00:14:33.320 --> 00:14:35.360 Then he grabbed a hammer and quickly nailed shut the lid on the coffin. 164 00:14:37.080 --> 00:14:41.399 Now you can't see anything, he said, Yeah, you're dirty, 165 00:14:41.440 --> 00:14:48.320 hay, who sees nothing now? Then he took her out to the cemetery 166 00:14:48.519 --> 00:14:52.279 and buried her as fast as he could. When the gravedigger got home, 167 00:14:52.320 --> 00:14:54.720 he put the two silver dollars in a tin box and shook it. The 168 00:14:54.840 --> 00:15:01.080 coins made a cheerful rattling sound, But the gravedigger wasn't feeling cheerful. He 169 00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:05.799 couldn't forget those eyes looking at him. When it got dark, a storm 170 00:15:05.879 --> 00:15:09.759 came up and the wind started blowing. It blew all around the house. 171 00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:13.519 It blew in through the cracks and around the windows and down the chimney. 172 00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:24.840 Buzzoooo, it went busy, busy buzzoo. The fire flared and flickered. 173 00:15:26.320 --> 00:15:30.480 Now these are written out, and that is that is how the wind went 174 00:15:31.039 --> 00:15:35.679 Yep, that's how the hound went to. The grave digger threw some fresh 175 00:15:35.679 --> 00:15:39.639 wood on the fire, got into bed, and pulled the blankets up to 176 00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:48.120 his chin. But the wind kept blowing the busso it went busy, busy, 177 00:15:50.799 --> 00:15:56.360 bussou. The fire flared and flickered and cast evil looking shadows on the 178 00:15:56.399 --> 00:16:00.960 walls. The grave digger lay there thinking about the dead woman's eyes staring at 179 00:16:02.039 --> 00:16:06.320 him. The wind blew stronger and louder, and the fire flared and flickered 180 00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:11.440 and popped and snapped, and he got more and more scared. Suddenly he 181 00:16:11.559 --> 00:16:18.399 heard another sound, clinkety clank, clinkety clank. It went clinkenty clank, 182 00:16:18.519 --> 00:16:23.080 clinkety clank. It was the silver dollars rattling in the tin box. Hey, 183 00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:29.840 the grave digger shouted, who's taking my money? But all he heard 184 00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:37.799 was the wind blowing busy, busy, boozy, and the flames flaring and 185 00:16:37.879 --> 00:16:45.519 flickering and snapping and popping. And the coins going nickety clank. He leapt 186 00:16:45.559 --> 00:16:48.799 out of the bed and chained up the door. Then he hurried back, 187 00:16:48.279 --> 00:16:53.720 but his head had barely touched the pillow when he heard clinkety clank, clickety 188 00:16:53.799 --> 00:16:59.720 clank. Then he heard something way off in the distance. It was a 189 00:16:59.799 --> 00:17:06.440 voice, voice crying, where is my money? Who's got my money? 190 00:17:07.039 --> 00:17:18.720 Who? And the wind blew, busy, busy boozoo, And the fire 191 00:17:18.799 --> 00:17:22.640 flared and flickered and snapped and popped. In the money went clicking, punting, 192 00:17:22.640 --> 00:17:26.640 could clamp. The grave digger was really scared. He got out of 193 00:17:26.640 --> 00:17:30.559 bed again and piled all the furniture against the door. He put a heavy 194 00:17:30.599 --> 00:17:34.880 iron skillet over the tin box. Then he jumped back into bed and covered 195 00:17:34.920 --> 00:17:41.400 his head with the blankets. The money rattled louder than ever, and way 196 00:17:41.519 --> 00:17:48.680 off a voice cried, give me my money. Who's got my money? 197 00:17:48.920 --> 00:17:56.319 Who? Who? And the wind blew When the fire flared and flickered and 198 00:17:56.359 --> 00:18:00.799 snapped and popped, and the grave Digger shivered and show shook and cried, 199 00:18:00.400 --> 00:18:06.880 oh, lordie, lordie. Suddenly the front door flew open, and in 200 00:18:07.119 --> 00:18:11.720 walked the ghost of the dead woman, with her eyes wide open. Staring 201 00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:18.160 at everything and seeing nothing, and the wind blew busy, busy blazzo, 202 00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:26.000 and the money when clikety clanked kikety clank, and the fire flared and flickered 203 00:18:26.039 --> 00:18:30.519 and snapped and popped, and the ghost of the dead woman cried, oh, 204 00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:37.079 where is my money? Who's got my money? Who? Who? 205 00:18:37.680 --> 00:18:45.119 And the grave digger moaned, oh, lordie, lordie. The ghost could 206 00:18:45.160 --> 00:18:48.279 hear her money going kikety clank, kikety clank in the tin box, but 207 00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:52.759 her dead eyes couldn't see the box, so she reached out with her arms 208 00:18:52.799 --> 00:18:57.279 and tried to find it. You know. There's a slight editor's note at 209 00:18:57.279 --> 00:19:03.079 this point. This story also includes um stage notes. What are they? 210 00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:07.519 What's the word I'm looking for? Stage direction? Stage directions, which is 211 00:19:07.559 --> 00:19:12.200 great if you want to turn this story a little sexy, do it as 212 00:19:12.200 --> 00:19:18.079 you will the stage. The stage directions are, as you tell the story, 213 00:19:18.200 --> 00:19:22.000 stand up with your arms in front of you and begin groping around you. 214 00:19:22.759 --> 00:19:27.079 Wink. Can you read that the way it's supposed to be read? 215 00:19:29.359 --> 00:19:33.440 As you tell the story, stand up with your arms in front of you 216 00:19:33.680 --> 00:19:41.200 and begin groping around you. Yeah, that'll do that. The wind went 217 00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:48.920 busy, busy zoo, and the money rattled became a clank, clicking and 218 00:19:48.039 --> 00:19:52.000 clank, and the fire flared and flicked and snapped and popped, and the 219 00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:56.960 grave diggers shivered and shook and moaned, oh, lordy, lordy, and 220 00:19:57.079 --> 00:20:02.319 the woman cried, give me my money. Who has got my money? 221 00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:11.279 Who? Who? Now quickly jump at somebody in the audience and scream you've 222 00:20:11.359 --> 00:20:19.799 got it? So ends the reading. I seriously think that that was that 223 00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:27.480 story was a precursor to about half of the show Stomp. I'll tell you 224 00:20:27.480 --> 00:20:32.440 what. I think that there were some some mistakes made in the writing of 225 00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:37.599 that story. Wind doesn't go busy bazoo. That's a huge issue, and 226 00:20:37.640 --> 00:20:41.319 there's no way for you to do that and maintain an aura of terror. 227 00:20:41.960 --> 00:20:45.960 That's true. Um, I like that. Uh, this story had faked 228 00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:51.519 us sexually right off the bat. It said, dude, this is a 229 00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:56.240 story about some old dead lady. And you're like, oh, well, 230 00:20:56.240 --> 00:20:59.440 I guess, I guess I'll just you know, play, Yeah, they'll 231 00:20:59.480 --> 00:21:02.319 put it on the back burner. This now, this is business time. 232 00:21:03.240 --> 00:21:07.480 But then it's all like stand up and start groping, and I'm like, 233 00:21:07.559 --> 00:21:14.279 oh my god, it's business time. So points to the story for for 234 00:21:14.400 --> 00:21:18.559 pulling a great Shamlan towards the end of the Sexy but the Busy Bazoo. 235 00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:23.000 And honestly, that story would have been a third as long if it weren't 236 00:21:23.039 --> 00:21:27.160 for the fire flaring and flickering and snapping and popping. Yeah, that was 237 00:21:27.440 --> 00:21:32.920 that. That cost it. Points sorry my story. And also that was 238 00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:37.039 like over two dollars, Why would you do that? Would you even if 239 00:21:37.079 --> 00:21:41.920 there was a corpse with two dollars on its face? Would you pick it 240 00:21:41.039 --> 00:21:45.319 up? So that was I thought that was I thought that was overall though, 241 00:21:45.359 --> 00:21:48.039 I enjoyed reading that storgment. I picked it so it was fun. 242 00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:51.599 Can you can you rejoin that? I mean, what do you got? 243 00:21:51.680 --> 00:21:53.160 I mean, like, I guess this is like this is like a breakdance 244 00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:56.880 fight. So I want to see right now if if you're going to serve 245 00:21:56.960 --> 00:22:04.799 me, um maybe we'll try going down to um Ol Bayou country what with 246 00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:11.519 losing Anna's scare fast. That's right. This one's called the dead hand. 247 00:22:12.160 --> 00:22:18.079 We'll see, we'll see what this is. Could also be a dead dart 248 00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:21.720 hard that's right. I need to put more syllables in here. Yeah, 249 00:22:21.920 --> 00:22:26.599 just add I'm just like hes between every letter, all right. The village 250 00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:30.160 huddled on the edge of a vast swamp. As far as one could see, 251 00:22:30.200 --> 00:22:34.880 there were soggy meadows, holes filled with black water. Am I do 252 00:22:34.880 --> 00:22:40.200 you want me to be reading the whole thing in caging? I think ay 253 00:22:40.279 --> 00:22:45.559 that you should and be. This thing started off not sexy, then it 254 00:22:45.680 --> 00:22:57.160 got real figured oh gosh, well okay, so let's yeah, let's okay, 255 00:22:57.319 --> 00:23:00.759 take let's take this one from the top. My Kegians are not gonna 256 00:23:00.759 --> 00:23:07.200 be the great. The village huddled on the edge of a vast swamp. 257 00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:11.079 As far as one could see, there were soggy meadows, holes filled with 258 00:23:11.160 --> 00:23:18.519 black water, and glistening sheets of wet, spongy peach out skeletons of giant 259 00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:22.920 trees, snags people called them, rose up out of the monk Dad, 260 00:23:22.920 --> 00:23:33.200 branches dead and reaching out by long twisted arms. Here that's During the day, 261 00:23:33.559 --> 00:23:37.720 the men in the village cut up peete and hauled it home to dried 262 00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:41.759 self of fuel. But when the sun went down and the wind, sighing 263 00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:45.440 and moaning came in from the sea, the men will quit the leave. 264 00:23:48.440 --> 00:23:52.599 Strange creatures took over the swamp at night, and some even came into that 265 00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:59.200 village. Well, that's what everyone said. People were so afraid they wouldn't 266 00:23:59.240 --> 00:24:03.039 go out along after dawk. Young Tom Patterson was the only person in the 267 00:24:03.119 --> 00:24:07.799 village who did not believe in these creatures. On his way home from work, 268 00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:12.000 he whispered to his friends, day's woe and they jump and run, 269 00:24:11.880 --> 00:24:18.400 and Tom would laugh and laugh. Finally, some of his friends tongued on 270 00:24:18.480 --> 00:24:21.799 him. If you know so much, they says, go back into that 271 00:24:21.920 --> 00:24:26.200 swamp some night and see what comes out of him. I'll do it, 272 00:24:26.279 --> 00:24:30.680 said Tom. I work there every day now once if I ever seen anything 273 00:24:30.680 --> 00:24:34.440 to frighten me, why should it be different a night? Huh. Tomorrow 274 00:24:34.519 --> 00:24:37.599 night, I'll take my lantern to walk out into that willow snagg Now, 275 00:24:37.720 --> 00:24:41.680 y'all, if i'd a scared run, I'll never make fun of use again. 276 00:24:44.079 --> 00:24:45.960 The next night, the man went to Tom Patterson's house to see him. 277 00:24:47.000 --> 00:24:51.559 On his way, dick clouds covered that moon. Now it was the 278 00:24:51.599 --> 00:24:56.039 blackest of nights. When day arrived, Tom's mother was pleading with him not 279 00:24:56.160 --> 00:25:00.440 to go. It'll be all right, he said, there's nothing be afraid 280 00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:03.519 of. Don't be foolish like the rest of them. He took his landing, 281 00:25:03.599 --> 00:25:07.359 and, singing to himself, he headed down that spongy path toward that 282 00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:18.359 willow snag over there, that dairy old snag. Some of them young men 283 00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:23.400 wondered if Tom wasn't right, maybe they was afraid of things that didn't exist. 284 00:25:25.279 --> 00:25:29.200 A few decided to follow him and see for themselves, but they stayed 285 00:25:29.200 --> 00:25:33.039 far behind in case he did runs into trouble. They were sure they saw 286 00:25:33.200 --> 00:25:37.319 dark shapes moving about, but Tom's landing kept bobbing up and down, and 287 00:25:37.440 --> 00:25:41.839 Tom's songs kept floating back to them, and nothing happened. Down Yeah, 288 00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:47.119 Finally they caught sight of that willi snag. There was Tom standing in a 289 00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:51.039 circle of light, looking this way and that, and all of a sudden, 290 00:25:51.079 --> 00:25:55.720 the wind blew out his lantern and Tom stopped singing. The men stood 291 00:25:55.759 --> 00:26:00.759 stock still in the blackness, waiting for something awful to happen. The clouds 292 00:26:00.759 --> 00:26:04.519 shifted and the moon came out. There was Tom again, only now he 293 00:26:04.640 --> 00:26:08.559 had his back pushed up against that willow snag, and he had his arms 294 00:26:08.559 --> 00:26:12.359 out in front of him, as if he were fighting something off. From 295 00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:17.039 where the men stood, it looked like dark shapes were swirling in and around 296 00:26:17.119 --> 00:26:21.759 him. Then the clouds covered that moon again once more. It was Pitcher's 297 00:26:21.799 --> 00:26:29.640 black down Hire. When that moon came out again, Tom was hanging on 298 00:26:29.759 --> 00:26:33.720 to the widow snag with one arm. His other arm was stretched out in 299 00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:36.640 front of him as if something was pulling it. It looked to the men 300 00:26:36.680 --> 00:26:41.000 as if a rotten mold. A hand with no arm or dirt hand grabbed 301 00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:48.119 Tom's hand with one final wrench. Whatever had hold of Tom jerked him into 302 00:26:48.119 --> 00:26:52.440 that muck. Or that's what the men said. When them clouds blotted out 303 00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:56.039 that moon once more, the man turned and ran through the darkness toward that 304 00:26:56.160 --> 00:27:00.680 village again and again they lost that path and fell into that muck and water 305 00:27:00.759 --> 00:27:04.240 holes, and in the end they crawled back on their hands and knees. 306 00:27:04.839 --> 00:27:11.319 But Tom Patterson wasn't with them. In the morning, people searched everywhere for 307 00:27:11.400 --> 00:27:15.160 Tom. Finally they gave him up for lost. A few weeks later, 308 00:27:15.200 --> 00:27:19.640 toward evening, villagers heard a cry. It was Tom's mother down here. 309 00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:26.240 She was rushing down that path from a swamp, shouting and waving. When 310 00:27:26.319 --> 00:27:30.000 she was sure the villagers had spotted her, she turned and ran back, 311 00:27:30.200 --> 00:27:33.519 and off they went after her. They found young Tom Patterson by the Willis 312 00:27:33.559 --> 00:27:38.200 Snag, groaning and gibbering as if he had lost his mind. He kept 313 00:27:38.200 --> 00:27:42.519 pointing with one hand at something only he could see, but where his other 314 00:27:42.559 --> 00:27:48.160 heads should have been, there was nothing but a ragged stump using blood down 315 00:27:48.160 --> 00:27:52.880 here. That hand had been ripped clean off. Everybody said it was a 316 00:27:53.000 --> 00:27:57.880 dead hand that had done it, but nobody really knows. Nobody would ever 317 00:27:57.960 --> 00:28:08.799 know Tom Patterson, and he never spoke another world A girl? Oh what 318 00:28:10.039 --> 00:28:14.240 Tom Patterson learning himself a thing? It turned about the swamp? Ta's you 319 00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:18.799 going on swamp down hill? Would you be going on on swamp owning out 320 00:28:18.880 --> 00:28:23.480 hire? So? I just no offense to any of our Cajun friends out 321 00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:29.079 there, that that's all I got. All I want to do is to 322 00:28:29.160 --> 00:28:33.640 show you that we don't dislike Cajun people. We're huge on the bike. 323 00:28:33.160 --> 00:28:37.480 I'm trying to flatter you as much as I can there because it's awesome. 324 00:28:40.759 --> 00:28:42.839 So, like, what is the category for that story? Is that like 325 00:28:44.039 --> 00:28:47.640 swamp? Is that cautionary tale? Is that respect? Yeah? It has 326 00:28:47.640 --> 00:28:51.519 to be because because he was he was boasting and bragging at the top of 327 00:28:51.519 --> 00:28:55.960 it, righting, and then he got his in the end, yeah, 328 00:28:56.119 --> 00:28:59.880 which is still not fair. I mean you say he got his like he 329 00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:06.200 did something wrong. I mean his only crime was being rational, for which 330 00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:11.880 he was punished. That's right. Being rational has no place in the world 331 00:29:11.880 --> 00:29:22.119 of ghosts, which is to say our world. Thunderstand. I like that. 332 00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:26.559 I feel like there was a particularly ethereal quality to that one, to 333 00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:29.960 that thunderstand. Yeah, it was like a spooky thunderstound, Like it's like 334 00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:33.160 the thunderstand that happens at just the right time in the story, you know, 335 00:29:33.880 --> 00:29:36.839 and it kind of lights up the reader's face for a second, and 336 00:29:36.960 --> 00:29:42.160 it's a skeleton face, like Tom Patterson, what do you? What do 337 00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:47.319 you got? Now? All right, I have I've decided to go random 338 00:29:47.480 --> 00:29:51.839 on this one. I have selected a story at random because I just enjoyed 339 00:29:51.880 --> 00:29:55.880 the title and I have read nothing of the story itself to be fun. 340 00:29:56.000 --> 00:30:00.000 So at this point I cannot confirm or deny the erotic content to this tail. 341 00:30:00.920 --> 00:30:04.759 I can. We've already established that it's chopped full of Yeah. Yeah, 342 00:30:04.759 --> 00:30:10.839 it's statistically speaking, you're probably gonna get a little worked up about this 343 00:30:10.839 --> 00:30:15.279 one. This is gonna light some fires, all right. This tail of 344 00:30:15.440 --> 00:30:22.599 misery and woe is called somebody fell from No, it's important to say that. 345 00:30:22.680 --> 00:30:25.079 Like it's like it's like a loft. It's one word. It's a 346 00:30:25.079 --> 00:30:27.640 loft, like from on high, not necessarily like a loft, a loft, 347 00:30:27.640 --> 00:30:34.039 a loft apartment right, hipster f Yes, some real estate speculator fell 348 00:30:34.200 --> 00:30:40.880 from his can you know, refurbished warehouse building loft. I had signed on 349 00:30:41.000 --> 00:30:48.519 as an ordinary seamen. Yes, when you just when you just spin the 350 00:30:48.559 --> 00:30:55.400 wheel, you win, you win. He'd signed on as an ordinary. 351 00:30:59.079 --> 00:31:03.240 I had signed on as an ordinary seaman on the falls of that Trick, 352 00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:07.640 a merchant ship bound for England. The first time I saw that ship, 353 00:31:07.720 --> 00:31:18.039 I knew her right away. She was the old Gertrude spurs shoe. Sorry 354 00:31:18.039 --> 00:31:23.839 old he knew the ship, so Okay, he signs up to be on 355 00:31:23.920 --> 00:31:27.480 a ship and it's called the Falls of Etric But he knows when he sees 356 00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:30.680 her, because he's a man who knows his ship. They renamed her. 357 00:31:32.519 --> 00:31:37.440 That's the old Gertrude spurs shoe. Oh. I had sailed on her years 358 00:31:37.480 --> 00:31:41.799 before when she was painted brown and gold. Now she was painted black and 359 00:31:41.880 --> 00:31:45.519 with a new name. But that was the same ship for sure. We 360 00:31:45.559 --> 00:31:49.079 had a pretty good crew for that voyage, except for one hard looking ticket 361 00:31:49.160 --> 00:31:56.839 named McLaren. I don't describe enough people as tickets. Yeah, I'm putting 362 00:31:56.839 --> 00:32:05.680 that in a lexicon of this dirty old ticket over. What's that hate doing 363 00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:09.440 with that ticket? Can we go to another bar? This place is haytes 364 00:32:09.480 --> 00:32:17.759 and tickets everywhere, Oh, Mal, hayte and ticket. It sounds like 365 00:32:17.759 --> 00:32:25.720 like an English pub. John Barley Corn all right, back to the terror. 366 00:32:28.119 --> 00:32:31.160 Except for one hard looking ticket named McLaren. He was a pretty good 367 00:32:31.160 --> 00:32:37.039 seaman, but there was something about him I didn't trust. He was kind 368 00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:40.759 of secreted, kept mostly to himself. One day somebody told him that I 369 00:32:40.759 --> 00:32:45.920 had worked on the old Gertrude for some reason. He got all the tremble 370 00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:52.640 over that. Then I catched him, honestly, then I catched him giving 371 00:32:52.680 --> 00:32:55.319 me all these ugly black looks. Catched all right, So that means you 372 00:32:55.960 --> 00:33:00.319 need to read it from from henceforward as a pirate. You're absolutely right, 373 00:33:00.519 --> 00:33:05.359 you are God, you got all right. Sorry, we cheated you. 374 00:33:05.400 --> 00:33:07.960 The listener out of that. The beginning of that, well, this is 375 00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:09.880 what happens when you spin the wheel, and we're adapting as best we can. 376 00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:15.880 Back to the terror. Okay, one day somebody told him that I 377 00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:21.440 had worked on the old Gertrude for some reason. He got all a tremble 378 00:33:21.519 --> 00:33:24.680 over that. Then I catched him giving me all these ugly black looks, 379 00:33:25.039 --> 00:33:29.799 as if he was itching to knife me in the back. I guessed it 380 00:33:29.920 --> 00:33:34.119 had something to do with the Gertrude, but I didn't know what. Well, 381 00:33:34.240 --> 00:33:37.519 this one day, we was trying to work our way through a dripping 382 00:33:37.720 --> 00:33:40.440 black fog. You had scarcely no we had the lights on. I know 383 00:33:40.599 --> 00:33:45.000 us dead. Call him, but there wasn't a breath of fresh air. 384 00:33:45.519 --> 00:33:49.359 The ship just lay there, wallowing in a trough, a rolling and a 385 00:33:49.519 --> 00:33:55.039 rolling going nowheeres. I was standing my watcher on the midships. McLaren was 386 00:33:55.119 --> 00:34:02.799 doing his trick at the wheel. Dirty tickets are. The rest of the 387 00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:07.799 crow was scattered around one place or another, and I as quiet as could 388 00:34:07.799 --> 00:34:12.199 be, and then all at once, whack hole. This thing hits the 389 00:34:12.320 --> 00:34:15.039 deck right in front of McLaren. He lets go a screech that turns me 390 00:34:15.159 --> 00:34:21.760 blood cold, and he falls down in a faint McLaren, a second mate, 391 00:34:21.760 --> 00:34:24.800 starts yelling that somebody has fallen from aloft. Laying out there just four 392 00:34:24.880 --> 00:34:30.559 to the wheel was someone or something dressed in oil skins and blood oozing out 393 00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:34.519 from underneath. The captain ron and fetched a big light from his cabin so 394 00:34:34.599 --> 00:34:37.559 as we could see what it was. They kind of straightened him out to 395 00:34:37.599 --> 00:34:42.000 get a good look at his face. It was a big, ugly looking 396 00:34:42.119 --> 00:34:45.679 devil, but nobody here knew who he was or what he was doing up 397 00:34:45.719 --> 00:34:50.719 there, at least nobody was saying. When McLaren come to from his faint, 398 00:34:50.719 --> 00:34:52.599 they tried to get something out of him. All he did was jabber 399 00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:59.760 away and keep rolling those big wild looking eyes of his. Sectionally, ever, 400 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.639 one was getting more and more excainted. Yeah, we all wanted to 401 00:35:05.719 --> 00:35:08.760 heave the body overboard as quick as we could. There was something weird about 402 00:35:08.800 --> 00:35:13.559 it, as if it wasn't real, But the captain wasn't so sure about 403 00:35:13.559 --> 00:35:15.840 good and rid of it that week. Could it be a snow away, 404 00:35:16.360 --> 00:35:22.000 he asked, but the ship was we what what does the captain sound like? 405 00:35:22.480 --> 00:35:27.199 He's a good ship's captain. It's a merchant craft out of Newportshire, 406 00:35:27.880 --> 00:35:30.559 Sure, he had to fill in his roster with some of the rougher looking 407 00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:34.719 men on the docks. But the dip theory I just moved through. Really, 408 00:35:34.800 --> 00:35:37.280 I mean, I can't, I can't. I can't do more pirate. 409 00:35:37.360 --> 00:35:40.800 I can't pirate a captain and then be like, oh, well this 410 00:35:40.880 --> 00:35:45.559 is a this is a South Yorkshire pirate. Yeah, yeah, you're right, 411 00:35:45.840 --> 00:35:47.480 you're right. I want to do that. Thank you if you don't 412 00:35:47.480 --> 00:35:51.519 want to double down on your pirate, because that's what you would have to 413 00:35:51.559 --> 00:35:54.280 do, right, I have to be super pirate exactly. There's no more 414 00:35:54.360 --> 00:35:58.360 I mean, it would be unintelligible. I'll just be all yark and clerk 415 00:35:58.480 --> 00:36:06.519 and flair. German pirates, Swedish German pirate. They happened. There wasn't 416 00:36:06.519 --> 00:36:08.440 like a monopoly on who could be a pirate. No, there's lots of 417 00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:15.519 countries, touches and seas. Yeah see sexual All right, where were we? 418 00:36:15.599 --> 00:36:19.599 Yeah? The captain, he's a company man, he was educated. 419 00:36:20.559 --> 00:36:27.960 Rear admiral. Yeah, could it be a stowaway? He asked? But 420 00:36:28.039 --> 00:36:30.519 the ship was so full with lumber we were carrying there was no space where 421 00:36:30.519 --> 00:36:35.079 a living thing could hide. For three weeks? Did they put the lumber 422 00:36:35.119 --> 00:36:37.800 in the crow's nest though, really, because didn't the thing fall from the 423 00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:43.599 aloft? It fell from aloft, but presumably there was like a lookout that 424 00:36:43.639 --> 00:36:49.599 went up to the crow's nest. I guess the lumber was not in that 425 00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:52.719 slashy trough. Yeah, it was a black, dripping fog and a slashy 426 00:36:52.760 --> 00:37:00.199 trough. Sorry, sorry, sorry, I've derailed this. This derails itself. 427 00:37:00.280 --> 00:37:05.719 Okay, there was no space where eleven thing could hide for three weeks, 428 00:37:05.920 --> 00:37:09.199 which is how long we'd been out. Even if it was a stowaway, 429 00:37:09.400 --> 00:37:15.719 what was it doing aloft in such a dirty day. There was no 430 00:37:15.800 --> 00:37:20.800 reason for anyone to be up there. There was nothing to see. Finally, 431 00:37:20.840 --> 00:37:23.599 the captain gave up and told us to heave him overboard. Then nobody 432 00:37:23.599 --> 00:37:27.840 would touch him. That made ordered us to pick him up, but nobody 433 00:37:27.880 --> 00:37:31.320 made a move. Then he try coaxing, but that didn't do any good. 434 00:37:32.119 --> 00:37:37.480 Suddenly that Lonie McLaren starts yelling, I handled him once and I can 435 00:37:37.599 --> 00:37:40.400 handle him again. He picks up the body and staggers over to the rail 436 00:37:40.440 --> 00:37:44.960 and with it he's just about to throw it overboard when it wraps. It's 437 00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:49.440 two big long arms around him, and over they go together. Then on 438 00:37:49.480 --> 00:37:52.679 the way down one of them starts laughing in a horrible way, and the 439 00:37:52.719 --> 00:37:55.480 it's a yelling to launch the boat. But nobody would get into a book, 440 00:37:57.000 --> 00:38:00.800 not on a night like that. We threw a couple of life preservers 441 00:38:00.800 --> 00:38:04.320 after him, but everybody knew they wouldn't help. So that was that? 442 00:38:05.679 --> 00:38:09.079 Or was it? Oh, okay, so fog just debilitates a crew. 443 00:38:09.320 --> 00:38:14.159 Yeah, on a night light. Didn't even have lights out on the deck. 444 00:38:14.280 --> 00:38:16.119 They had to be in the captain's core, right, Captain Captain's Log, 445 00:38:16.320 --> 00:38:21.760 third of June eighteen fifty seven. It's one of those nights, enough 446 00:38:22.000 --> 00:38:28.400 said XO XO winky face signature. You know, you know how ships are 447 00:38:28.440 --> 00:38:34.400 six hundred years ago? Oh thank god, we don't have nights like that 448 00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:39.239 anymore, Thanks Obama. But that was that wasn't the sarcastic one. I 449 00:38:39.280 --> 00:38:45.119 was really thankful he stopped those He stopped those misty dripping nuts. More lullan 450 00:38:45.199 --> 00:38:51.159 and a trough for us. We were never finishing this tale of mysterious horror. 451 00:38:51.320 --> 00:38:53.280 Okay? Where was oh yeah, the big cliffhanger, or was it 452 00:38:54.159 --> 00:38:57.840 the first chance I had to go home. After that, I went right 453 00:38:57.880 --> 00:39:01.960 over to see Captain Spurshoe who was captain when the Gertrude was around? On 454 00:39:01.960 --> 00:39:07.639 account, I guess name being perspersial. Why did I mean, really was 455 00:39:07.639 --> 00:39:14.599 the captain Phineas J. Dutchman? Yes, no, he was just he 456 00:39:14.639 --> 00:39:22.679 just flew a lot. Yeah, yeah, can't queen the Queen Anne's Blackbeard. 457 00:39:20.519 --> 00:39:31.360 Yeah that was the name of her nethers. Yeah that's little known fact. 458 00:39:31.480 --> 00:39:37.840 Yeah, Queen Anne, but many's the ticket who wrecked up on her 459 00:39:37.960 --> 00:39:46.719 tours. Oh my god, you know what this story is just like a 460 00:39:46.800 --> 00:39:51.719 pool to swim around in this Okay, sorry, okay, here we got 461 00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:55.599 blamed myself. Oh that was the investigator. Okay, who was captain when 462 00:39:55.599 --> 00:39:59.960 the Girtrude was around? He was a captain, all right, so don't 463 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.480 get mad when he has a better They're all good. Well, he says, 464 00:40:02.960 --> 00:40:07.320 wait, damn it. Who was captain when the Gertrude was around? 465 00:40:07.320 --> 00:40:13.719 Well, he says, one ship is two outlandishmen shippable to Gertrude. One 466 00:40:13.760 --> 00:40:17.159 of them was McLaren, the other was a really big fellow. The big 467 00:40:17.199 --> 00:40:22.000 one was always picking on McLaren and thumping him around, and McLaren was always 468 00:40:22.039 --> 00:40:25.000 talking about her, who would get back at him. Well, this wet, 469 00:40:25.039 --> 00:40:30.760 dirty night, this wet dirty night, the two of them was up 470 00:40:32.239 --> 00:40:37.320 okay, dear it. Okay, so he is Oxford educated, but he 471 00:40:37.519 --> 00:40:43.800 keeps some provincial colloquialisms in his speech. It's right. Well, this wet 472 00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:46.239 dirty night, the two of them was up there alone, and the big 473 00:40:46.280 --> 00:40:52.559 one come flying down, killed himself, deader than a herring. McLaren says 474 00:40:52.559 --> 00:40:55.400 the footrope they were using parted, and how he almost fell himself. But 475 00:40:55.519 --> 00:41:00.559 everybody who saw that rope knew she didn't give away on her own. She 476 00:41:00.639 --> 00:41:04.639 had been cut through with a knife. After that, whenever we came into 477 00:41:04.639 --> 00:41:07.800 port, mccleman thought we were going to get the police after him. He'd 478 00:41:07.840 --> 00:41:10.719 get pretty scared, but we couldn't prove anything, so we didn't try. 479 00:41:12.480 --> 00:41:15.480 In the end, I guess the big fellow took care of things in his 480 00:41:15.519 --> 00:41:19.239 own way. If he was a ghost that came back, that's what he 481 00:41:19.440 --> 00:41:28.559 was. If there'll be things like ghosts, I'm so glad that that captain 482 00:41:29.039 --> 00:41:36.760 took the time between his Safari hunts for big African game to command the Gertrude 483 00:41:36.960 --> 00:41:43.119 Spurshue May, there was a bit of a kafaffeo with South South Beachman's Explorers 484 00:41:43.199 --> 00:41:45.079 Club, and he decided it was best he set out on a merchant in 485 00:41:45.159 --> 00:41:51.400 trade for a while, named the ship after his wife, miserable hate as 486 00:41:51.400 --> 00:41:53.719 she was, but came with a lovely dowry. Not to boob joke. 487 00:41:53.880 --> 00:42:02.880 Her family was wealthy, couldn't marry just in your ticket out there used words 488 00:42:02.920 --> 00:42:07.360 like ain't and who so it as to make himself don't feel too far above 489 00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:13.400 his crew? Who will won't to give him snuggies? She did not enjoy. 490 00:42:15.039 --> 00:42:20.280 Yep, that's that's what happens when you pick a random tale and pirate 491 00:42:20.360 --> 00:42:22.119 lore. And that's what happens when I wreck it for you. Oh my 492 00:42:22.199 --> 00:42:25.000 god, do you really do you think you're you think you're the one who 493 00:42:25.079 --> 00:42:29.440 ruined that? No, the author did. Um. There was some guy 494 00:42:29.559 --> 00:42:32.440 in the in the audience for Failure to Launch who made a joke and everyone's 495 00:42:32.440 --> 00:42:40.039 like, well now it's ruined touchet, all right, So I'm gonna pull 496 00:42:40.119 --> 00:42:43.760 him here. This is a this is a nice little nursery rhyme that you 497 00:42:43.800 --> 00:42:50.119 can tell your kid to make him go to sleep. Never. This is 498 00:42:50.159 --> 00:42:54.960 called burning it. When the busy day is done, and my weary little 499 00:42:54.960 --> 00:43:00.599 one rocks gently to and fro, when the night winds saw fully blow, 500 00:43:00.760 --> 00:43:05.519 and the crickets in the glen chirp and chirp and chirp again, when upon 501 00:43:05.559 --> 00:43:10.360 the haunted bay devils dance around their prey. Then from yonder misty skies comes 502 00:43:10.440 --> 00:43:17.119 the thing with burning eyes, through the murk the mist and gloam to our 503 00:43:17.320 --> 00:43:23.400 quiet cozy home, where to singing, sweet and low rocks a cradle to 504 00:43:23.559 --> 00:43:29.760 and fro, where the clock's dull monotone tells us that the day is done. 505 00:43:30.199 --> 00:43:35.360 Where the moonbeams hover o'er playthings sleeping on the floor, where my weary 506 00:43:35.480 --> 00:43:40.239 wee one lies, Comes the thing with burning eyes. It comes like a 507 00:43:40.360 --> 00:43:45.800 fleeting ghost from some distant, creepy coast. And no footsteps will you hear 508 00:43:45.920 --> 00:43:52.079 as that beast draws ever near. Not a whisper, not a word from 509 00:43:52.079 --> 00:43:58.320 that fearful thing is heard by the pale moon's eerie light. With a heart 510 00:43:58.440 --> 00:44:01.960 that's full of spite, and the depths of darken'd skies, comes the thing 511 00:44:02.159 --> 00:44:08.079 with burning eyes with flapping wings. It comes upon my dear weary little one, 512 00:44:08.559 --> 00:44:15.239 and those claws do outward spread to clasp the little curly head, seem 513 00:44:15.440 --> 00:44:22.199 to fondle and caress every little silken tress. Then she smooths the eyelids down 514 00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:28.000 over those two eyes of brown, and such soothing tender. Wise comes the 515 00:44:28.119 --> 00:44:34.079 Thing with burning eyes, dearest, feel upon your brow that caressing magic. 516 00:44:34.280 --> 00:44:38.320 Now for the crickets in the glen, chirp and chirp and chirp again. 517 00:44:39.039 --> 00:44:45.159 When upon the haunted bay devils dance around their prey, and the moonbeams hover 518 00:44:45.280 --> 00:44:51.800 o'er claythings sleeping on the floor. Hush, my sweet from yonder skies, 519 00:44:51.960 --> 00:45:00.679 comes the Thing with burning eyes. Now go to sleep. Yeah, now 520 00:45:00.719 --> 00:45:05.840 I'm going to turn the lights off and leave the room. I don't get 521 00:45:05.880 --> 00:45:08.559 that, is it. It sounds like it's actually kind of nice. Yeah, 522 00:45:08.679 --> 00:45:12.199 pets your head, but it's got burning eyes and it hangs out with 523 00:45:12.360 --> 00:45:16.480 Devil's Bay. Yeah. That's a confusing one. Yeah, each each one, 524 00:45:16.519 --> 00:45:21.639 it's like it's like it's bringing you in and there's pushing you away, 525 00:45:21.880 --> 00:45:22.920 or it's bringing you in. It's stabbing you in the face, and then 526 00:45:22.960 --> 00:45:25.880 it's bringing you in. Yeah, it's all a trap. It's all tar 527 00:45:29.119 --> 00:45:32.039 so like that. Okay, okay, I've got I've got I've got a 528 00:45:32.079 --> 00:45:36.920 ghost story that I read. In my research, I was able to find 529 00:45:36.960 --> 00:45:43.280 the world's worst ghost story. This is a terrible tale of just nothing, 530 00:45:43.960 --> 00:45:49.360 and it is somehow considered to be a scary story. The funny thing is, 531 00:45:49.400 --> 00:45:54.079 I mean, there's a bigger competition for this title than for the best 532 00:45:54.159 --> 00:46:00.920 ghost story. Yeah, yeah, really this is a bottom heavy market sexual 533 00:46:01.880 --> 00:46:06.119 all right. This is called the Big Toe. Now there are a few 534 00:46:06.199 --> 00:46:08.039 versions of it, so if your version differs, I don't want to hear 535 00:46:08.079 --> 00:46:14.039 about it. Much like we will honestly tell you the circumstances in there which 536 00:46:14.039 --> 00:46:16.840 shouldn't listen to our podcast, I will honestly tell you when I want none 537 00:46:16.840 --> 00:46:27.760 of your feedback. And this is that time an old woman was out in 538 00:46:27.800 --> 00:46:34.039 the woods collecting mushrooms when she happened upon a big, large toe. It 539 00:46:34.119 --> 00:46:37.679 was a particularly large and meaty toe, so she kept it. Her plan 540 00:46:37.840 --> 00:46:40.559 was to take it home and cook it up in her soup and eat it 541 00:46:40.559 --> 00:46:46.440 for dinner. Honestly, this is the story she saw Big tones like dinner. 542 00:46:46.960 --> 00:46:52.360 It's a meaty toe. Times is tough, yo, Thanks Obama. 543 00:46:53.559 --> 00:47:00.960 Oh what can't we flavor a story that's like the ranch dressing of phrases. 544 00:47:00.920 --> 00:47:05.719 The old woman takes the toe home, and as she plans, cooks it 545 00:47:05.800 --> 00:47:09.320 up in her soup for dinner, and eats it that night as she's slipping 546 00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:16.440 into bed. She's just about to fall asleep when she hears distantly, whears 547 00:47:16.599 --> 00:47:24.519 my toe, and she huddles into her blankets, thinking to herself, but 548 00:47:24.599 --> 00:47:29.239 I found in the woods. I couldn't possibly know where I am. Now 549 00:47:29.679 --> 00:47:35.320 I'm safe here, And again she hears nothing. From long, long minutes, 550 00:47:35.360 --> 00:47:44.360 It is just about to fall asleep, when somewhat closer she hears whears 551 00:47:44.840 --> 00:47:52.559 my toe, And again she huddles deeper into her blankets, swearing there's no 552 00:47:52.639 --> 00:47:54.800 one who could find her in her home. She didn't see anyone in the 553 00:47:54.800 --> 00:48:00.039 woods that day. And she waits and she waits, and this time, 554 00:48:00.360 --> 00:48:08.760 sooner than before and closer than ever, she hears the mournful cry whears my 555 00:48:09.440 --> 00:48:15.599 toe, And this time she cries out, I don't have anything. Go 556 00:48:15.760 --> 00:48:22.760 away, And the reply, right outside the door to her small cottage, 557 00:48:22.920 --> 00:48:30.639 whears my toe. She says, get away, get away, I don't 558 00:48:30.639 --> 00:48:36.760 have any toe of yours. She closes her eyes as hard as she can, 559 00:48:37.280 --> 00:48:42.599 and she hears the sound of splintering wood, and then in her cottage 560 00:48:42.599 --> 00:48:49.280 she sees just a dark shape, silhouetted by the fire, bellowing wears my 561 00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:55.119 toe and she looks up at the shape and she's so terrified that she loses 562 00:48:55.159 --> 00:49:00.920 all sense and says, I have it. I ate it for my dinner, 563 00:49:01.039 --> 00:49:07.960 and the large dark shape says, yes, you did. The next 564 00:49:08.079 --> 00:49:13.920 day, no one could find the old woman. They saw the damage to 565 00:49:14.000 --> 00:49:19.159 her front door, and all they could find was one large footprint missing a 566 00:49:19.280 --> 00:49:25.159 toe, And everyone in the village agreed, this is the worst story. 567 00:49:25.400 --> 00:49:34.920 We haven't ever hurt Bogaty, Bogaty, I'll scare your dad, all right. 568 00:49:35.119 --> 00:49:38.039 So that's a lot like clinking to clank and yeah, but it's worse 569 00:49:38.199 --> 00:49:44.800 because there's this moment where the giant was it a giant that was missing his 570 00:49:44.960 --> 00:49:49.400 toe and a leg apparently if they only found one footprint, right crutch. 571 00:49:49.519 --> 00:49:52.840 And then when it gets to deliver its line, when it gets its big 572 00:49:52.880 --> 00:49:59.400 moment, it's just like, yeah, you did do that? Like what 573 00:50:00.360 --> 00:50:04.719 who eats a toe? Like it's the there's the beginning of it, like 574 00:50:05.559 --> 00:50:08.960 coume on at least explained that she was starving, maybe, or that she 575 00:50:09.199 --> 00:50:14.440 was a pre existing cannibal. Maybe she's a witch and witches and toes are 576 00:50:14.519 --> 00:50:20.280 lucky. There's just a million reasons why that story could have been better or 577 00:50:20.360 --> 00:50:27.400 interesting, and most of them start with telling a different story and then continuing 578 00:50:27.480 --> 00:50:31.280 on with a different story. Yeah, oh, man, worst story ever. 579 00:50:31.639 --> 00:50:35.760 Sorry, sorry you guys. M oh, here's a good thing. 580 00:50:35.880 --> 00:50:37.639 I would love it, though. I don't want to hear about how bad 581 00:50:37.719 --> 00:50:43.480 my story is. But if you have a worst story, yeah, please 582 00:50:44.519 --> 00:50:46.639 link it to us. Send us an email. I would love to hear 583 00:50:46.639 --> 00:50:51.599 a worst ghost story. Contact us on our contact page on blurry photos dot 584 00:50:51.679 --> 00:50:55.480 org. Send us a horrible Halloween story. Huh, might just read it. 585 00:50:55.840 --> 00:50:59.679 Yeah, wait, we'll do that. Might take us a year, 586 00:50:59.719 --> 00:51:02.800 but we'll read. No, Actually, we'll have a because you know what, 587 00:51:02.840 --> 00:51:08.039 Halloween is on a Wednesday this year, so technically the weekend to either 588 00:51:08.079 --> 00:51:14.039 side is legit Helloween territory. So it's make a little extra bump out of 589 00:51:14.039 --> 00:51:16.440 this Halloween. There's not the finality of a Saturday night Halloween this year. 590 00:51:16.760 --> 00:51:21.760 You know. The The other thing is Christmas time, used to be the 591 00:51:21.800 --> 00:51:25.440 time to tell ghost stories, so maybe maybe we'll tell some a couple more 592 00:51:25.480 --> 00:51:29.800 for the old Yule time. Yeah, you know. I actually because I 593 00:51:30.400 --> 00:51:34.920 was looking for the best ghost stories and I found a list top ten ghost 594 00:51:34.960 --> 00:51:38.599 stories in all of history, and like number one, Charles Dickens a Christmas 595 00:51:38.679 --> 00:51:42.960 Carol funny. Huh. Yeah, I felt like that was a sucker punch 596 00:51:43.079 --> 00:51:46.320 ending. I mean, the Jacob Marley part is is kind of freaky. 597 00:51:46.559 --> 00:51:52.159 Yeah, you know, then in the death part obviously and two and eighteenth 598 00:51:52.159 --> 00:51:55.840 century reader that that was shat material. Yeah, that was chatting. Yeah, 599 00:51:57.400 --> 00:52:01.599 those people literally had to institutionalize them no less than six months after reading 600 00:52:01.639 --> 00:52:08.559 that. They were giving a silent passes away like candy too. Okay, 601 00:52:08.599 --> 00:52:12.000 I've got a good one. I've got a great story. And this is 602 00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:15.079 actually one of my favorites. This is a scary story that I really did 603 00:52:15.199 --> 00:52:19.400 enjoy as a kid. And I'm changing the name of the Indian because it's 604 00:52:19.440 --> 00:52:24.719 more fun. I hope anyone out here has seen the Jim Jarmusch classic movie 605 00:52:24.760 --> 00:52:29.320 dead Man, because it's it's an awesome movie. And I'm naming the Indian 606 00:52:29.320 --> 00:52:32.800 after that because the Indian's name in this book doesn't even sound Indian. Defago 607 00:52:34.480 --> 00:52:39.440 with like an accent. Defago, Yeah, something like that's ridiculous. That's 608 00:52:39.480 --> 00:52:43.400 not what you name an Indian. So I'm changing it. I'm taking some 609 00:52:43.519 --> 00:52:45.440 license. It's in our podcast. We can do what we want. I 610 00:52:45.440 --> 00:52:55.920 don't care America, Thanks Obamama. The Window. A wealthy man wanted to 611 00:52:55.920 --> 00:53:00.360 go hunting in a part of northern Canada where a few people had ever hunted. 612 00:53:00.880 --> 00:53:02.719 He traveled to a training post and tried to find a guide to take 613 00:53:02.800 --> 00:53:06.760 him, but no one would do it. It was too dangerous, they 614 00:53:06.800 --> 00:53:09.960 said. Finally, he found an Indian who needed money badly, and he 615 00:53:10.000 --> 00:53:15.320 agreed to take him. The Indian's name was Xaba Chey. I remember that 616 00:53:15.880 --> 00:53:20.519 They made camp and the snow near a large frozen lake. For three days 617 00:53:20.519 --> 00:53:22.840 they hunted, but they had nothing to show for it. The third night, 618 00:53:22.880 --> 00:53:25.719 a windstorm came up. They lay in their tent, listening to the 619 00:53:25.719 --> 00:53:30.599 wind howling and the trees whipping back and forth. To see the storm bedd 620 00:53:30.679 --> 00:53:34.719 the hunter opened the tent flap, but what he saw startle him. There 621 00:53:34.760 --> 00:53:37.239 wasn't a breath of air stirring, and the trees were standing perfectly still, 622 00:53:37.679 --> 00:53:42.559 Yet he could hear the wind howling, and the more he listened, the 623 00:53:42.639 --> 00:53:47.280 more it sounded like as if it was calling Xaba Chay's name. X saber 624 00:53:47.559 --> 00:53:54.280 Chey, it called, x Sabchey. I must be losing my mind, 625 00:53:54.280 --> 00:53:59.639 the hunter thought. But xaba Chey had gotten out of his sleeping bag. 626 00:54:00.079 --> 00:54:01.719 He was huddled in a corner of the tent, his head buried in his 627 00:54:01.880 --> 00:54:08.119 arms. What's all this about, the hunter asked. It's nothing, said 628 00:54:08.239 --> 00:54:14.360 Xavier Chay. But the wind continued to call him, and Xaba Chay became 629 00:54:14.400 --> 00:54:22.000 more and more tense and more restless. Xabachey, it called, what saber 630 00:54:22.199 --> 00:54:25.880 chee. Suddenly he jumped to his feet and began to run from the tent, 631 00:54:27.239 --> 00:54:30.599 but the hunter grabbed him and rustled him to the ground. You can 632 00:54:30.840 --> 00:54:35.119 leave me out here, the hunter shouted. Then the wind called again, 633 00:54:35.400 --> 00:54:38.159 and Xaba cha broke loose and ran into the darkness. The hunter could hear 634 00:54:38.239 --> 00:54:43.320 him screaming as he went. Again and again he cried, oh, my 635 00:54:43.559 --> 00:54:49.800 fiery feet, my burning feet of fire. Then the voice faded away and 636 00:54:49.880 --> 00:54:53.840 the wind died down. At daybreak, the hunter followed Xaba chase tracks in 637 00:54:53.880 --> 00:54:57.840 the snow, and they went through the woods, down toward the lake and 638 00:54:57.880 --> 00:55:02.159 out onto the ice. But soon he noticed something strange. The steps Xavichay 639 00:55:02.159 --> 00:55:07.320 had taken got longer and longer. They were so long no human being could 640 00:55:07.360 --> 00:55:09.719 have taken them. It was as if something had helped him hurry away. 641 00:55:10.440 --> 00:55:14.639 The hunter followed the tracks out into the middle of the lake, but there 642 00:55:14.639 --> 00:55:19.039 they disappeared. At first, he thought Xhabu Jay had fallen through the ice, 643 00:55:19.280 --> 00:55:22.639 but there wasn't any hole. Then he thought that something had pulled him 644 00:55:22.679 --> 00:55:25.599 off the ice into the sky, but then made no sense. As he 645 00:55:25.639 --> 00:55:30.880 stood there wondering what had happened, the wind picked up again. Soon it 646 00:55:30.920 --> 00:55:34.880 was howling as it had the night before. Then he heard xavi Chay's voice. 647 00:55:35.159 --> 00:55:38.000 It was coming from above. And again he heard xaba Chase screaming, 648 00:55:38.840 --> 00:55:45.239 my fiery feet, my burning feet. But there was nothing to be seen 649 00:55:45.920 --> 00:55:47.760 now. The hunter wanted him to leave that place as fast as he could, 650 00:55:47.960 --> 00:55:51.960 and he went back to camp and packed. Then he left some food 651 00:55:51.960 --> 00:55:57.360 for Xaba Jay and he started out. Weeks later he reached civilization. The 652 00:55:57.360 --> 00:56:00.760 following year, he went back to hunt in that area again. He went 653 00:56:00.760 --> 00:56:04.440 to the same trading post to look for a guide. The people there could 654 00:56:04.440 --> 00:56:07.159 not explain what happened to Xabitcha that night. They had not seen him since 655 00:56:07.199 --> 00:56:12.199 then. Maybe it was the wind, ago, one of them said, 656 00:56:12.400 --> 00:56:15.559 and he laughed, it's a post to come with the wind. It drags 657 00:56:15.559 --> 00:56:21.199 you along at great speed until your feet are burned away, and the more 658 00:56:21.239 --> 00:56:24.679 of you than that. Then it carries you into the sky and drops you. 659 00:56:25.400 --> 00:56:31.440 It's just a crazy story, but it's what somebody Indians see a few 660 00:56:31.519 --> 00:56:36.079 days later, the hunter was at the trading post again. An Indian came 661 00:56:36.159 --> 00:56:38.639 in and sat by the fire. He had a blanket wrapped around him, 662 00:56:38.719 --> 00:56:43.840 and he wore his hat so you couldn't see his face. The hunter thought 663 00:56:43.840 --> 00:56:47.039 that there was something familiar about him, and he walked over and asked, 664 00:56:47.679 --> 00:56:53.360 are you Xabacha? The Indian didn't answer, do you know anything about him? 665 00:56:54.320 --> 00:56:59.639 No answer. He began to wonder if something was wrong. The man 666 00:56:59.719 --> 00:57:02.639 needed help, but he couldn't see his face. Are you all right? 667 00:57:02.800 --> 00:57:07.760 He asked, no answer. To get a look at him, he lifted 668 00:57:07.760 --> 00:57:12.519 the Indian's hat. Then he screamed, there's nothing under the hat but a 669 00:57:12.679 --> 00:57:27.199 pile of ashes. My goold Yeah, I like the wind to Ghost story. 670 00:57:27.239 --> 00:57:31.760 I do too. I think that is a cryptid we might cover in 671 00:57:31.800 --> 00:57:35.880 a future podcast. Man, I like it when we can link them together 672 00:57:36.559 --> 00:57:43.599 once again. Xabache means who speaks much and says little Jim Jarmusch. Dead 673 00:57:43.639 --> 00:57:47.480 Man Johnny. It's got Johnny Depp and what he loves Johnny Depp? What? 674 00:57:47.639 --> 00:57:53.880 What year was this? How old is it? Late nineties before he 675 00:57:53.960 --> 00:57:57.800 was like super huge. But here's a big deal then anyway. But it's 676 00:57:57.840 --> 00:58:00.920 just a great movie. It's shot all in black and white. Iggy Popa's 677 00:58:00.960 --> 00:58:05.960 in it. Yeah, what's it about. It's about a guy who is 678 00:58:06.000 --> 00:58:12.119 traveling west for an accounting job, and by the time he gets there, 679 00:58:12.239 --> 00:58:17.599 he doesn't have a job and he's just stuck in this crazy Pacific Northwest frontier 680 00:58:17.639 --> 00:58:22.559 town that's really dark, and it's about his adventures there. And there's a 681 00:58:22.599 --> 00:58:28.440 reason that he's known as the dead Man because he likes the Undertaker. Yeah, 682 00:58:28.480 --> 00:58:31.679 exactly. He's a pro wrestler and he brings wrestling to the West. 683 00:58:31.840 --> 00:58:37.119 Have you ever seen the movie Ravenous? No. I feel like they reference 684 00:58:37.199 --> 00:58:43.239 the window go in that, but more so the thought that being becoming a 685 00:58:43.280 --> 00:58:46.599 cannibal or eating another human's flesh would turn you into a windo goo, which 686 00:58:46.639 --> 00:58:51.639 makes you crave right see now that's that was my confusion because the window Go 687 00:58:51.760 --> 00:58:53.599 story that I read that I love so much as a kid was about a 688 00:58:53.639 --> 00:59:01.039 bunch of Native Americans who get like trapped in a cave by snow and they 689 00:59:01.199 --> 00:59:07.119 finally resort cannibalism, and how all of them are like gagging and the throwing 690 00:59:07.159 --> 00:59:08.440 up. They can't they can't do it. But what I's like, dude, 691 00:59:08.440 --> 00:59:14.920 this isn't awesome. This this Larry is off the hook and and that. 692 00:59:15.119 --> 00:59:17.519 Yeah, And then they get out of the cave, but he can't 693 00:59:17.559 --> 00:59:22.239 stop eating, like and he becomes the wind to Go. He goes off 694 00:59:22.280 --> 00:59:27.880 into the now he haunts the mountains, preying on travelers because he can't stop 695 00:59:27.920 --> 00:59:30.920 eating flat Yeah. And and the I think the Windo Goo that I'm familiar 696 00:59:30.920 --> 00:59:35.199 with was more along the more along the lines of what was in this story 697 00:59:35.320 --> 00:59:37.880 of like, you know, it's almost like a werewolf almost that that kind 698 00:59:37.920 --> 00:59:42.199 of speeds you along until you burn up, and I don't know, it's 699 00:59:42.440 --> 00:59:44.679 yeah, oh you all have to check that out. It occurs to me 700 00:59:44.719 --> 00:59:47.840 that for the purposes of this story, like is it just the wind to 701 00:59:47.920 --> 00:59:52.960 go? Like wind to go? But that's I think that's part of Yeah, 702 00:59:52.480 --> 00:59:55.079 of the tail too, because it has stuff to do with with the 703 00:59:55.119 --> 01:00:00.199 wind, the howling wind and the cold and stuff. Yeah, that be 704 01:00:00.239 --> 01:00:06.119 a great subject to cover one day soon in the midst of winter. Oh 705 01:00:06.280 --> 01:00:07.760 yeah, that's a good time when you're all hold up in your house. 706 01:00:08.199 --> 01:00:13.000 Yeah, when wind is howling, and when poor mel Evans is hold up 707 01:00:13.039 --> 01:00:17.639 with her ex, stuck by by snow and blizzards reviewing the movie Ravenous. 708 01:00:19.199 --> 01:00:23.800 Yeah, so that that's our friend mel Evins with an hour with your ex. 709 01:00:24.159 --> 01:00:30.119 Their podcast could be an eternity who devours? Who find out this winter 710 01:00:31.119 --> 01:00:37.719 with your check that out on iTunes or pod bean. Um. So I 711 01:00:37.760 --> 01:00:42.280 think that brings us to a close of our stories for this wonderful Halloween. 712 01:00:42.880 --> 01:00:45.719 Yeah, I blow out the candle, turn the lights up, snuggle down, 713 01:00:46.000 --> 01:00:52.079 and don't open your eyes. Yeah, whatever you hear, it's just 714 01:00:52.559 --> 01:00:54.760 nothing's there. You're gonna be fine unless you have a creepy doll, in 715 01:00:54.800 --> 01:00:59.840 which case you will be dead by you. And if you have a door, 716 01:01:00.239 --> 01:01:02.760 a closet, a bed, a phone, oh or if you've eaten 717 01:01:02.800 --> 01:01:07.800 a toe for dinner, you're also left. Yeah, you're truly or truly 718 01:01:07.840 --> 01:01:10.960 left for any any of those toes for dinner. If you are able to 719 01:01:12.000 --> 01:01:15.079 say nope, I have not checked any of these off my list, then 720 01:01:15.760 --> 01:01:20.559 bless you and good night. Yeah, the Sleep of Angels is your reward 721 01:01:22.239 --> 01:01:32.079 chase. That's the sleep of swim there for you, Tarbio kill. Another 722 01:01:32.159 --> 01:01:36.119 movie, pick Darby o Gil and the Little People. You would think, 723 01:01:36.159 --> 01:01:40.599 because it's entirely about leper cons that it's like a great movie for like Saint 724 01:01:40.639 --> 01:01:45.400 Patrick's Day, which I guess it is an excellent Halloween movie. It's got 725 01:01:45.440 --> 01:01:50.639 banchees in it, a spectral carriage, it's terrifying, and it's a young 726 01:01:50.719 --> 01:01:54.159 Sean Connery. That's true. It's a great movie. Sean Connery goes well 727 01:01:54.199 --> 01:01:59.679 with any holiday. When did I just start outing with like movie suggestions, 728 01:02:00.280 --> 01:02:02.760 Well, when we were talking about when we started plugging an hour with your 729 01:02:02.800 --> 01:02:08.039 act to help them get some suggestions I don't like the movie popped in my 730 01:02:08.039 --> 01:02:09.880 head. I was like, hey, I know we're all doing something, 731 01:02:09.920 --> 01:02:15.480 but I'd like to take a few moments out for on Golden Pot. Peter 732 01:02:15.559 --> 01:02:20.840 fond is excellent work and uh, all right, so so we're gonna do 733 01:02:20.960 --> 01:02:22.119 uh, we're gonna do some puns for you. Yeah, we've got something. 734 01:02:22.440 --> 01:02:28.280 We got some scary story puns. I've got one. It's a it's 735 01:02:28.320 --> 01:02:37.800 an adult diaper called When'd I Go? Yeah, that's at Yeah, I'm 736 01:02:37.800 --> 01:02:43.599 pretty pleased with that. Wow. Wait, wait to start off. My 737 01:02:43.599 --> 01:02:46.639 mine are not going to be nearly as good as that. Um mine is 738 01:02:46.880 --> 01:02:54.880 um an orthodontist called the dental patient where you tell you tell the just your 739 01:02:54.920 --> 01:03:01.239 problem and he just nods. Um. Pretty bad. All right, I've 740 01:03:01.280 --> 01:03:06.679 got one. I've got one in my grand tradition of just not doing a 741 01:03:06.760 --> 01:03:09.519 pun and coming up with the product instead. Okay, you're ready for this. 742 01:03:10.639 --> 01:03:15.840 I tried to incorporate your Louisiana because I enjoyed your accents so much. 743 01:03:15.880 --> 01:03:21.280 Okay, Grandpa crowdads, country Cajun big toe and endo. We sausage a 744 01:03:21.400 --> 01:03:27.159 tofae with real juicy chunks a big toe and rich sausage flavor. There's probably 745 01:03:27.159 --> 01:03:36.679 an asterisk like mourning an anti climactic running with a giant will ensue a shadow 746 01:03:36.719 --> 01:03:40.880 giant. Yeah, oh nice, Yeah, how about that? It's really 747 01:03:40.960 --> 01:03:45.360 done. I was pretty proud of it. I mean, I tastes like 748 01:03:45.440 --> 01:03:50.880 you stick your foot in it. Oh, good morning, y'all. A 749 01:03:50.920 --> 01:03:57.639 lot big toe ana wadu. I got a big bubbling pot, a big 750 01:03:57.679 --> 01:04:08.280 twoif toufuh'd say Grandpa Crawford himself. Oh that's I should have saved the wind. 751 01:04:08.360 --> 01:04:13.440 I go for the second part, or should have ended bigger should Yeah? 752 01:04:13.920 --> 01:04:18.400 Uh? My mine are really poor this week? Um? This week? 753 01:04:19.159 --> 01:04:29.559 Yeah, um, I've got a creepy nursery rhyme themed jim called burning 754 01:04:29.639 --> 01:04:39.400 Thighs and it and the the elliptical caresses them. You your golden locks, 755 01:04:40.920 --> 01:04:54.000 sons tresses? Um, I prefer Queen Victoria's black Beard. Well, I 756 01:04:54.039 --> 01:04:57.679 think that that we have certainly wrung all the terror out of our souls. 757 01:04:57.719 --> 01:05:01.760 We're just gibbering idiots staring into the abyss now. Yeah, thanks Nietzsche. 758 01:05:02.679 --> 01:05:06.760 What what you can do, though, to save us is go to blurry 759 01:05:06.760 --> 01:05:11.480 photos dot org and yeah, poke around there for a little bit. Recommend 760 01:05:11.599 --> 01:05:15.039 us to some friends. Why not? Yeah, all your friends are like, 761 01:05:15.199 --> 01:05:19.079 I don't hear any good puns. No more, I don't hear enough 762 01:05:19.159 --> 01:05:27.960 jackass room. Go on the iTunes and give us, give us a rating, 763 01:05:28.199 --> 01:05:30.920 yeah, preferably good. But however, you see fit right. We're 764 01:05:30.920 --> 01:05:32.800 not gonna tell you how to how to live your life. We're not. 765 01:05:32.880 --> 01:05:39.280 We're not big government, thanks Obama. Yeah that never gets old. You 766 01:05:39.320 --> 01:05:44.639 can say that for anything. Um and uh yeah, I write us a 767 01:05:44.679 --> 01:05:47.559 review, give us some feedback, give us a pun for goodness sake, 768 01:05:47.760 --> 01:05:53.199 Yeah, earn a certificate. There's one out there to be Yeah, there's 769 01:05:53.000 --> 01:05:56.840 there. We've got one that's the deadline of which is drawing. Now right, 770 01:05:56.880 --> 01:05:59.760 Well you got you get like a little better than a month. But 771 01:06:00.079 --> 01:06:04.039 um yeah, tell us your favorite crappy ghost story yet, I mean just 772 01:06:04.079 --> 01:06:10.639 the dumbest one, yeah, or one that you've survived that'd be cool. 773 01:06:11.920 --> 01:06:15.800 Like how about like maybe one that you swear is true. I don't care 774 01:06:15.920 --> 01:06:17.559 it's true. Just tell me it's true. Just tell us lie to me 775 01:06:19.840 --> 01:06:25.559 and make sure it has an erotic opening. Ye. They all follow us 776 01:06:25.599 --> 01:06:30.159 on Twitter, blurry underscore photos and like us on Facebook. Do all that 777 01:06:30.159 --> 01:06:32.400 stuff. You can do it in five minutes just sitting at your computer. 778 01:06:32.400 --> 01:06:35.519 Who can you would love to converse with you on the Facebook or the twitters. 779 01:06:35.679 --> 01:06:40.760 Yeah we're on there, we we right, back. Yeah, we 780 01:06:40.960 --> 01:06:45.480 right back hard. You won't believe it, then you will believe it because 781 01:06:45.480 --> 01:07:00.679 it happened. Most importantly, happen how. I'm David Staff. Bye, Stand big