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You're listening to KFI AM six forty
on demand KFI AM six forty. You

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have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you.
This is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show.

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If you're new to my show,
I got to tell you I'm a little

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bit obsessed with the science of love
and this week, oh my gosh,

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my predictions for the Golden Bachelor.
And also let me tell you how mature

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people actually date according to research.
Also, if you're somebody who's plagued by

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envy and jealousy, I've got some
news for you and a few things that

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every healthy relationship needs. Let's make
sure producer Kayla's here you with us.

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Of course, Doctor Wendy. Did
you see the Armie Hammer documentary, the

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docu series on HBO. I've heard
crazy things. Okay. I am late

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to the party because it was a
year ago that launched. I remember,

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like my daughter and her friends looking
at all the texts and saying, oh,

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if you don't know who I'm talking
about. Armie Hammer is the actor

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from Call Me by My Name and
The Social Network, and he's the grand

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great grandson of arnund Arn Armandhammer,
the great philanthropist and billionaire. Well HBO

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did a deep dive, and it
turns out there's a lot of multi generational

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trauma in that family. But where
it began begins in the present, was

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actor Armie Hammer trolling around Instagram,
grabbing unsuspecting pretty girls in cities that aren't

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Hollywood, you know, chatting them
up, making them think they're the only

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one in the world, flying them
to some He takes them to some motel

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out in Palm Springs where he practices
some pretty awful s and m on them

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and calls it b DSM. Of
course, there's no safe word, there's

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no consent. Lapd did an investigation. He was not convicted of anything.

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Now here's so interesting. Now I'm
of two minds because one, you know,

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it turns out his father was bad, his grandfather was bad. There's

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a terrible misogyny in the family.
They would leave money to the sons,

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but never the daughters. The daughters
supposedly were sexual abuse. I mean,

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when you see this, it's like
every generation there was craziness going on.

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So was it learned or or not? But you know how men help each

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other out in all this situation.
So, come to find out he did

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a stint in rehab paid for by
Robert Downey Junior. Okay, nice,

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it's nice of him, but he
was assaulting women. Okay. Now he's

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in the Cayman Islands, living near
his divorce, his ex wife and his

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two kids, trying to rebuild his
family, and they're the family's reportedly staying

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in a home paid for by Robert
Downey Junior. And he's Armie Hammer is

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working as a companion to sober living
person. So you know, when you

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recover from addiction, you help someone
else out. Meanwhile, all these victims

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are out there traumatized and dealing with
stuff. I'm glad they did speak out.

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Now. Army does reveal that he
told one press outlet that he was

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sexually abused by a youth pastor when
he was thirteen years old, and that

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led to his interest in BDSM.
He also does say that he understands what

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he did wrong. Now. He
says, I would scoop up these women,

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bring them into it into this whirlwind
of travel and sex and drugs and

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big emotions flying around, and then
as soon as I was done, I

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would drop them off and move on
to the next woman, leaving that woman

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feeling abandoned or used. So is
that lip service? Is he really understanding

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what he did? Has he offered
apologies to them? I mean maybe he

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has with the AA thing. Also
in the news this week, the Britney

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Spears book is out written by ghostwriters
called The Woman in Me, and it

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documents a family history of mental health
problems and how all the women in her

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past were locked up for things like
postpartum depression. And it makes you think

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about you remember when she really had
her turn for the worse and she had

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the two little babies, and she
shaved her head, et cetera. She

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explains everything in the book. There's
a great review of it in the New

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York Times and the reporter actually apologizes
for having written bad things about her in

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the past that she is so sympathetic
now to Britney Spears. So I can't

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wait to read this book. I
think it's going to be really interesting.

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Also in the news this week,
former President Donald Trump was seen on Halloween

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with his wife Milania for the first
time in seven months. Uh huh.

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It was at a Halloween party in
mar A Lago. They were not in

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costume. She had a black dress
on. He had a standard dark suit

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with the red tie. No,
I love this. You know, when

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you read stuff from the tabloid,
page six, they say sources tell page

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six. Who are these sources and
what are they saying? Well, apparently

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Milania Trump has quietly renegotiated her prenuptial
agreement with Donald Trump in advance of his

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potentially serving a second term in the
White House. So like what it's like

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her appearance contract, she has to
like do it, you know, Like

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now this source is saying, really, she's just concerned about maintaining a substantial

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trust for their son, Baron,
who's now seventeen. But come on,

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to go through four more years of
what she had to go through, there

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better be a payoff at the end. Rightly, I'm sure there is.

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And because you have to be married
to be president, I suppose so he

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has to have his wife in order
to like that's why they're well I think

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you know, there's no law that
said you have to be but in the

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Conservative party, that is the Republican
Party, it would be weird. It's

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frowned up, like you have to
have this quote unquote traditional family. Well,

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he has money, so I'm sure
he's throwing a lot of it at

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her, so she could act like
his happy wife. I often wonder just

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wondering how many abortions he's paid for, just wondering in his life because he's

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such a playboy. I believe it. I've read the nose. Yeah.

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Also, this week I had dinner
on two different occasions, different nights,

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my boyfriend Julia and I with two
different healthy couples, couples who had been

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together more than thirty years. And
it's always fun to be with two people

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who've been together since college, who
are healthy and support of each other because

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I get to see the science alive. They don't know why it's worked,

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and they also are very confused about
people like me who have had a difficult

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time, a challenging time with relationships
in my life. But it was wonderful.

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You see, when you have a
natural secure attachment style, meaning you

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can give love comfortably, you can
receive love comfortably, you have enough of

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a backbone to be able to take
a little bit of criticism. You also

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have the ability to say I'm sorry
and take responsibility for a few things,

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and you can give care. It's
an exchange of care. These people do

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it so naturally because that's what was
done to them in their early childhood,

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so their model for love inside their
head is just well, that's what you

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do, like, that's what love
is. Right. Remember that's about thirty

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to forty percent of the population.
The other sixty to seventy percent have an

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insecure attachment style. Either they can't
tolerate intimacy and they're trying to avoid it

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at all costs, but still maintain
some kind of relationship sort of controlling people,

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like an orbit around them and they're
like a planet. Or they have

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such an anxious style that they send
people running for the hills because they smother

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them. Or they have jealousy.
In fact, later the show, I'm

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going to talk about jealousy and envy
and the role that they play in relationships

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and what you can do. If
you're somebody who feels jealous easily, I've

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got some advice for you. If
you're somebody who's in a relationship with somebody

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who exhibits jealousy a lot, I've
got some advice for you. All that

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coming up, But first, when
we come back, I've got to do

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another deep dive on The Golden Bachelor, because I want my predictions to come

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true, and I really think they're
going to I don't know. Maybe I'm

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just thinking like a producer being a
sleuth online. We'll see when we come

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by my take on episode six of
The Golden Bachelor. You're listening to the

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Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM
six forty were live everywhere on the iHeartRadio

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app. You're listening to KFI AM
six forty on demand. That Golden Bachelor's

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got a wandering eye. He's down
to three women. He had wandered through

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twenty two of them with his eye
and got down to three. You're listening

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to The Doctor Wendy Walls Show and
KFI AM six forty. You know,

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I'm obsessed with this show because they're
treating wise, smart, elegant women like

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girls gone wild, and I know
the producers are making them do that stuff,

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and I'm sorry. Maybe it's agism. I don't want to turn on

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my TV and see people in their
seventy swap and spit in hot tubs.

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It's not working for me. Do
it, yes, I do it,

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Just do it, but don't do
it in front of the TV cameras,

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because TV cameras are supposed to be
entertainment. I just want to say that

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Okay, you can send me all
your texts and some emails saying that I'm

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completely agist, and I guess I
am, but I also have eyeballs and

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I want to be entertained, right. Okay, So The Golden Bachelor,

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if you're just tuning in, is
about a seventy two year old bachelor that

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who's a widow. Of course,
has to be appropriate. He couldn't have

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gone through three divorces like the rest
of the world. No, no,

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no, had to have a long, healthy, happy marriage and had to

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cry telling the story about his wife's
sudden death. He's been single for a

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few years now, and his adult
daughter said, Daddy, do this,

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go out and join the Bachelor.
So it's eight episodes long. I should

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add that the premiere this year was
the highest rated debut for an unscripted series

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on a network. Well wait,
since January twenty twenty two. Okay,

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well we're talking a year and a
half. Okay, so, and you

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know, the premiere is what everyone
wanted to see, like, who are

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these twenty two women? Dress like
schoolgirls? And we saw them and then

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I'm sure the ratings have gone down
a little bit, but from twenty two

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we are now we've just seen episode
six. We are down to three.

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And this is if you've never seen
The Bachelor before, this is when they

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do the hometown visits, where now
he goes and visits the family back home.

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And in this case, usually it's
the parents, right, go meet

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the parents, but parents are all
dead at this point, so now it's

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meet the kids, the adult kids, the grandkids, the of sisters and

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brothers, et cetera. So started
out with Teresa. Now, I don't

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know if you remember Teresa was figured
was like really prominent in the premiere because

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she's the one that got out of
the limo and said, it's my birthday,

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Gary, So I wore my birthday
suit and she unwraps herself. But

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she's just in like some Kardashian skins
or something, skims skins, skims y

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skims right this, you know,
skin colored body suit. But she did

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get a one on one date with
him. She's the one who's been gushing

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and gushing and she made that other
woman, Kathy so mad because she kept

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talking about connection, our connection.
Supposedly, she's a financial services professional in

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New Jersey, which means that she's
apparently a senior compliance in operations Liaison,

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don't know what that is. As
I mentioned, she did rub some people

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the wrong way, especially someone named
Kathy because Teresa kept talking so much about

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her connection with Gary and it made
Kathy crazy and they got into a tiff.

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But the producers love that. They
set it all up a little girl

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fight, right. So episode six, Gary travels to New Jersey. He

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meets Teresa's family, her two sisters, He chatted with her grandsons, he

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talked with her daughter. But here's
the big moment. They have a private

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moment together in New Jersey and Teresa
tells Gary that she loves him. And

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do you know what he says?
He says, oh, that makes me

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feel so special. We know who's
not getting the rose, Okay, just

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saying all right? Then, Faith
her Faith. She's sixty one years old.

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Teresa. By the way, seventy
Faith is sixty one. She made

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quite an entrance in the premiere episode
because instead of pulling up in a limousine,

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she pulled up on her own motorcycle. Now Faith is cool and tough.

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She was born and raised in the
mountains of Santa Cruz, California.

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Then she lived in Utah, and
she finally settled down in a place called

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Benton City, Washington. Her biggest
hobbies are riding horses and apparently a motorcycle.

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So he goes to Washington State.
He meets her sons and her grandkids,

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and she also breaks down and tells
him that she loves him. Ladies,

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please but with faith. You know
what he says. He says,

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I love you too. Okay,
So you think it's a done deal until

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you meet Leslie. Now remember Leslie. She was the sexy dancer from Minneapolis

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who said she once dated Prince.
She's a personal trail personal trainer. In

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fact, she's a former professional figure
skater, founder of her own company,

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which leads Halatates retreats in Costa Rica. So she's the fit one. Of

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course. You know, I always
say peers are attracted to peers across a

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lifespan, but they're gonna pick the
youngest looking peer. Leslie I think is

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a little younger. I think she's
you know, she's maybe sixty sixty one.

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She's a fitness fanatic. Okay,
So he travels to Minneapolis. He

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meets her brother, her sons,
her daughter, her grandkids. She tells

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him Gary, I am crazy about
you and he tells her he loves her.

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What I know what. In one
episode he's telling Teresa, uh,

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that feels makes me feel so special. He tells Faith, I love you.

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He tells Leslie, I love you. I feel bad for Teresa.

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I know all. So the rose
ceremony comes. We're down to three.

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Leslie gets the first rose. I
told you, we're all supposed to be

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rooting for Miss fitness fanatic. Miss
pilates, so she gets the first rose.

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She's safe. She leaves. Then
standing there are poor Teresa and Faith

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and Gary starts turning on the waterworks
again. Dude is crying, tears,

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going down his cheeks, holding his
little rose, trying to decide which lady

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is going to hand it to.
And then what does he do? He

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drops the rose in the dish and
walks out of the room. He can't

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do it. Cliffhanger, cliffhanger,
dun dun, duh. Okay, here's

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my here's my prediction. Bye bye, Teresa fit body. Leslie wins.

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Okay, I'm just gonna say Teresa
has been too cushy cushi from the beginning.

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Okay, now here's what I did
some research. So filming began in

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August, and the locations were.
I think it's a mansion in Agra Hills

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and it concludes, says the internet
in Costa Rica. Ding Ding Ding ding

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Ding who runs Pilate's retreats in Costa
Rica. Uh huh, Teresa, he

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said, Leslie, Leslie the hot
body one, right, so the dancer.

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But I also have another theory.
So my prediction, Leslie wins and

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it all comes down in Costa Rica. Or remember Joan, I said from

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the beginning, Joan was the youngest, literally sixty, and the youngest looking

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maybe something done to her face,
and she had to leave because her daughter

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just had a baby and was all
postpartum and need it mommy. So we

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have this feeling of compassion and sympathy
for Joan, so she made this really

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difficult decision to leave. Blah blah
blah. If you look at Jon's Instagram

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right now, it is highly curated. It looks like a freaking commercial ready

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for sponsors. And the last video
is her crying about having to leave The

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Bachelor and saying goodbye to the Bachelor. No other posting. She's been gone

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for since August, folks, since
August she left that set. Where are

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the pictures of her with the baby
and the postpartum mom where her family life

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back home? Oh no, no, no no. I feel quite sure

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that there are two episodes left and
she's going to come storming back in and

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he's going to have to make a
decision between Leslie and Joan, you know,

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throw in a ringer at the end. I'm just making this up,

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but I should be a producer of
The Bachelor. Sounds like some good TV,

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all right, when we come back. I did some research. Yes,

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they do research on golden people and
how they date. How golden mates

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actually date according to science when we
come back, not like they do on

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the show. You're listening to the
Doctor Wendy wall Show on k I AM

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six forty with Live Everywhere on the
iHeartRadio app. You're listening to KFI AM

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six forty on demand. Oh and
yes we do, Kayla, you picked

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the best music. Thank you.
Doctor. I am s exporting Doctor Wendy

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Waalsh with you. Older women and
older men, how do they actually date?

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It is not like the Golden Bachelor. Nothing like it. Where on

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the Golden Bachelor they have older people
behaving like teenagers. This is not how

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it really is. Okay, So
if you've you know, i'm sorry to

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say, lost your partner recently,
whether through passing or divorce, and you're

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worried about getting out there in the
mating marketplace, and you're a person of

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a certain age, I want to
tell you that the fastest growing group on

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online dating apps are people over the
age of fifty. There are people of

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every age on those apps getting out
there and meeting each other. Now,

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I will say that when you get
to a certain age, love can take

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many different forms, and you have
to understand yourself and also have learned from

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lots of your life lessons. So
let's talk about what the research says.

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How do older people date today?
Well, they talk about sex in a

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mature way, if they talk about
it at all. One study done this

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year found that older people sometimes experience
shame and guilt about talking sexuality because they're

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shackled with old fashioned stigma. Right, So, if you had sex for

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the first time in the seventies where
there was this really hardcore sexual double standard

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and women were not supposed to have
sexual experience and men were supposed to,

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or a time before birth control where
the risk was so high, or maybe

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you were raised with religion. Then
sure, you're going to have these old

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ideas in your head, however,
because you also don't know what's appropriate and

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what's normal for these times and for
this person. But there was another study

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done and it was published in Sexual
and Relationship Therapy, LOVE, these academic

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journals. They found that age was
not seen as an obstacle to continuously being

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sexually active, and in fact,
many couples of a certain age find new

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ways to maintain intimacy and new ways
to describe sexuality. I know, I

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had a friend one time who,
because of medical reasons, she and her

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husband stopped having intercourse, and she
said, but that's okay. We have

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lots of outer course. So you
know, there are ways to be creative.

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But people are talking about it.
They're talking about their health and their

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changing bodies during those dates. They're
not trying to pretend like they're a teenager

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on The Bachelor. I mean,
how many of those women have had Mona

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lisa vaginal rejuvenation. How many of
those women are taken hormones? How many

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of those women have chronic bladder infections
because menopause? I mean, are they

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talking about that on The Golden Bachelor? Probably not all right. Another thing,

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according to research that older single people
do is they showcase very different traits

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than young people in their profiles.
Research that was published in the Journal of

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Gerontology, of course, showed that
online daters who are younger tend to really

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brag about themselves, their achievements,
how attractive they are, trying to look

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as sexy as they can. But
older adults tend to display more positive of

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emotions, and they emphasize the importance
of emotional connection, and also they emphasize

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the importance of health. Right,
So, my sweet Julio, you know,

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when I first saw his profile,
he had one sentence in it that

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I will never forget, and it
was I have been on a dramatic path

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to mindfulness and authenticity. And I
was like, woh, that's a life

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of experience. I want to hear
about that dramatic path. I want to

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hear about how mindful and authentic he
is. Now. Another thing, according

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to research that older daters do is
they sell fun and they sell honesty.

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You know, when you're younger,
you're trying to pretend you're somebody you're not

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that you're richer, you're cuter,
you're thinner, whatever. But older people

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tend to be really, really honest. In one study, both men and

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women showed that they were interested in
a companion and someone who is fun loving

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and kind and compassionate. Women in
that study were looking for a partner who

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was honest. You know, we've
had a lot of lie in men in

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our life, and who would do
leisure activities with them. Of course,

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men, not surprised, sought women
who were physically attractive, but also who

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could provide emotional support, very important. The other thing golden daters do is

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they showcase wisdom. This is the
sexiest thing to put out there in your

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profile. And obviously you don't say
the words I am wise. You sort

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of talk gently about some of your
lessons learned. Let's be real, you

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don't get to be a certain age
without having some past traumas, some health

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concerns, some grieving over the loss
of a previous partner. And this can

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turn into a negative or it can
turn into a positive, right. I

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mean sometimes if you're a widow or
a widower, you might feel feeling of

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guilt or loyalty to a spouse who's
passed away. But you can transform some

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of those experiences into wisdom. And
resilience right, being able to say,

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hey, I've been through this and
I survived. That's evidence of your strong,

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great human spirit. So talk about
the challenges you've been through and also

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don't be afraid to embrace love again
an opportunity. That's one thing the Golden

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Bachelor does do. Right. They're
all full of hope. They're all talking

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about I hope I can find it
again. I'm in love with love,

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which is great. You know.
There was another study I found particularly interesting,

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and it had to do with how
we perceive aging. So this was

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done on people who are divorce,
people who are widowed, people who are

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single, people who are over all
over sixty, and they found that divorced

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or widowed people felt less positively about
aging if you compared with people who are

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still married. On the other hand, people who got married or entered a

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new relationship later in life life felt
more positive about aging than those who remained

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alone. So relationships over sixty help
you feel young again, help you have

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a new spark for life. I
know my Julio and I feel young when

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we're together. We love to be
out doing fun things and laughing, and

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I think if I were alone,
I get that I would probably feel more

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like, oh God, what's left
for me? But now we have so

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many plans that it's exciting when we
come back. One of the things that

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Julio and I don't have much of, well a little bit, just enough

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to keep us on our toes is
jealousy. Uh huh. But I've been

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in relationships where there've been terrible jealousy, damaging jealousy or feelings of envy,

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two different things. By the way, I'll explain the difference when we come

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back and what you can do to
keep it from eroding your relationship. You

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are listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls
Show and KFI AM six forty. We're

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live everywhere on the iHeartRadio. You're
listening to KFI AM six forty on demand

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I Am six forty. You have
Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is

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the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. I
want to welcome my Instagram followers. We've

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just gone live on Instagram. You
are in the iHeartRadio station. If you'd

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like to see our show, then
come on to Instagram. The handle is

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at doctor Wendy Walsh. After the
segment where I talk about I'm going to

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be talking about jealousy and envy in
our personal relationships. Then I'm going to

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be taking your calls if you have
relationship questions. The numbers one eight hundred

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five two zero one KFI. I'll
give out the number again at the end

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of the segment. So a lot
of people don't understand that there's actually a

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very big difference between the feeling of
jealousy and the feeling of envy. Producer,

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00:24:48.160 --> 00:24:51.400
Kayla, did you ever get them
confused? I don't know the difference.

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You don't know the difference, No, all right. So, envy

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is the painful feeling of wanting what
someone else has. So if someone has

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a better job, a nicer car, better clothes, you're envious of them

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because they have something that you want. But jealousy is that feeling of potentially

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losing someone, getting abandoned by someone
because you feel threatened by another well mate

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poacher, right, and so you
want to be protective. So jealousy is

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when there's another person trying to steal
your person, or at least you perceive

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that, even if it's not true. You know, I've always said that

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envy is one of the most dangerous
emotions in our life. In general,

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because it's often uncomfortable. And when
feelings are uncomfortable, sometimes we don't allow

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ourselves to actually fully express them,
right, so we push them down.

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And when you push feelings down and
don't acknowledge them, oh, they come

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00:25:52.839 --> 00:25:57.160
out as behaviors, and sometimes really
negative behaviors you don't even realize, like

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where that came from? And why
did you say that thing to that person?

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And why did you not invite them
to their because you were feeling envious.

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I actually have a personal trick for
what you should do with feelings of

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00:26:07.559 --> 00:26:12.119
envy. First, like every feeling
that exists in our rainbow of feelings inside

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us, you should allow yourself to
feel it, be aware of it.

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00:26:15.599 --> 00:26:22.200
And then what you should do is
turn it into a compliment. Voice it

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even say Kayla, I am so
envious of you. I love your hair.

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I wish I could get my hair
to do that. That's beautiful,

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right, So it's kind of like
you're owning it. You're owning that feeling,

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and as soon as you say it, it becomes less dangerous. Right

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now, It's different from saying I
want your hair and I'm gonna take it

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off, all right. You can't
have that that's jealousy. That's that's if

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00:26:47.119 --> 00:26:53.599
you're trying to steal my Julio.
So we have to convert it to compliments.

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No, here's what envy looks like. If you're not paying attention to

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00:26:57.240 --> 00:27:03.759
envy, fake compliments, really disingenuous
compliments you don't really mean it, feelings.

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Let's talk about how envy can even
hurt your personal intimate relationships. What

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happens if your partner has a successful
moment, your job is to feel joy

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with them, not feelings of envy. Right, So if you find yourself

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getting a little upset because they got
the promotion or they got something great that

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you didn't, that's you not managing
your envy. Well. Also, there's

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no place for competition in love relationships. You guys are a team. Any

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win for one partner is a win
for both of them. You're not trying

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to compete with your partner. If
you feel like, oh, I don't

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want to hang out with my partner's
friends, they probably don't like me,

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then you're feeling less than and you're
envy of their social connections. And if

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you find yourself being critical of your
partner's job or success at their job,

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probably envious. That's what's happening.
Now. Jealousy is a little bit different.

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Jealousy means, you know, you're
feeling threatened that your partner is getting

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too much attention and you're not getting
that attention. Maybe you're really just literally

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imagining that every other person around them
is trying to poach them. So it

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might be like coworkers. They tell
you about a coworker and you're like,

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I don't want you hang you know
with that person, no, right,

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or maybe just friends. You're not
going out for a girl's night. You're

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not going to that place, right, I've needed that guy. Oh yeah.

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So if you're finding that you have
mistrust of your partner whenever you're spending

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any time apart, that's on you. That's your inability to manage your feelings

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of jealousy. Well, if you
find yourself criticizing how your partner's dressing,

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because we had talked about this,
producer Kayline the fact in the past.

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If you think your partner's out there
trying to attract other mates by how they're

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00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:06.559
dressing, again, that's on you. Now, here's why jealousy is so

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bad in your intimate relationships. It
showcases insecurity, right, it makes you

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00:29:11.160 --> 00:29:15.160
look less attractive when you're out there
saying where are you going? Who are

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00:29:15.160 --> 00:29:17.160
you gonna be with? Why are
you dressing like that? You can't do

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00:29:17.200 --> 00:29:22.319
girls' nights whatever. It makes you
look really insecure. And when somebody is

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insecure, it lowers their mate value, makes them less attractive. Also,

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if jealousy can cause controlling behavior,
particularly when men are experiencing the feelings of

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jealousy, right, they're gonna be
like, no, you can't go there,

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you can't do that. I don't
want you doing that, and that

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is never good for a relationship.
That can send your partner running. Right

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now, I do want to say
envy and jealousy difficult, uncomfortable feelings.

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If they're left unchecked, it can
show signs of you know, resentment,

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to resent your partner, there can
be little fights and squabbles and ruptures all

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00:30:03.880 --> 00:30:10.680
the time, or at worse,
abusive controlling behaviors. And ultimately, these

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two feelings can end a relationship I
think faster than anything because they erode trust

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and trust is the most important thing
you need in your relationship. Now,

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I also want to say this,
if your partner is expressing a lot of

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jealousy or envy. You got to
ask yourself, are you doing anything to

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00:30:32.640 --> 00:30:38.720
console them? Or are you exacerbating
the situation? Right? So I remember,

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00:30:38.799 --> 00:30:44.720
years and years ago, I knew
this person and she was always thinking

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that her boyfriend was cheating on her, always thinking that her boyfriend's and he,

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I know, couldn't take this questioning
all the time. So he started

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00:30:53.240 --> 00:30:57.279
disclosing less because it's like she's hounding
him for where are you going, who

406
00:30:57.279 --> 00:31:00.839
are you with? Why'd you talk
to that woman? Look at your dms?

407
00:31:00.440 --> 00:31:04.880
Right, And so he started being
more private and acting more avoidant.

408
00:31:06.079 --> 00:31:10.319
And what did that do? Wound
her up more? Right. I know

409
00:31:10.400 --> 00:31:15.319
it's hard when you're the partner who's
feeling jealous and they're insecure whatever, But

410
00:31:15.400 --> 00:31:18.000
you got to turn around and say, baby, it's okay, I'm not

411
00:31:18.079 --> 00:31:22.160
going anywhere. Calm down, We're
gonna be all right. You got to

412
00:31:22.160 --> 00:31:26.279
calm down, right, I love
you, It's gonna be okay. Also,

413
00:31:26.319 --> 00:31:30.680
if you haven't brought it up,
talk it out very tenderly, you're

414
00:31:30.720 --> 00:31:33.000
gonna say, hey, i've noticed, just bring up the behaviors to see.

415
00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:34.960
I noticed whenever I go out you're
mentioning that I'm looking too sexy,

416
00:31:36.079 --> 00:31:38.480
or when I talk about something from
work, you want to know more details

417
00:31:38.519 --> 00:31:42.480
about them. You've got to find
a way for the two of you to

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00:31:42.559 --> 00:31:48.119
come to terms, to get back
to trust, and that way maybe through

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00:31:48.160 --> 00:31:52.480
couple's therapy, whether you're just dating, living together, married, couple's therapy

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00:31:52.519 --> 00:31:57.160
can always make your relationship better.
All right, when we come back my

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00:31:57.279 --> 00:32:01.319
drive by makeshift relationship advice, Remember
I'm not a therapist. I'm a psychology

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00:32:01.359 --> 00:32:06.680
professor. But I've written three books
on relationships and did a dissertation on attachment

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00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:09.640
theory, and I've got a lifetime
of wisdom and I'm happy to weigh in.

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00:32:10.119 --> 00:32:15.839
The number is one eight hundred five
two zero one five three four.

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00:32:15.359 --> 00:32:20.200
That's one eight hundred five two zero
one. KFI producer Kayla's going to go

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00:32:20.240 --> 00:32:22.960
screen the calls right now. I'm
also going to be taking some of your

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00:32:22.960 --> 00:32:27.160
social media dms. One eight hundred
five two zero one five three four.

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00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:30.240
You're listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls
Show on KFI AM six forty. Were

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00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:36.279
live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app KFI
AM six forty on demand