Hey, what's up? And welcome back to another episode of the Straight Shooter
Recruiter Podcast. I'm your host, Emily Durham aka Emily the Recruiter, and
if it's your first time listening, my goal is to help you thrive in
your nine to five and beyond. And how do I do that? Well,
Baby, I've worked in talent acquisition for over seven years. I'm a
writer for Canadian Business. I've been featured in Forbes, BBC, The Globe
and Mail Like careers is what I do and today I actually got a request.
This is a requested episode and it's all about how do I take someone
from a connection to a referral? How do I get you to work for
me? Well, I'm not even working at that company. And that's what
we're going to talk about today is how to use and leverage your pre existing
or new relationships to help you get the gig. So if that sounds like
your jam, make sure you leave a rating and a review for the show.
And if you're listening, I want to see a baby, I want
to see you ten me or the podcast accounts. All of that is in
the description because it genuinely brings me joy. So let's get into it.
Also, fair warning, you might hear Binky pity pattering around the apartment because
I let him out of his playpen. If you guys follow me on install,
you know, he actually had a pretty major knee surgery a couple of
weeks ago, so he's now able to roam around the apartment supervised for a
little bit. So he's just he's doing that and he's loving life. So
if you hear pitter patters, I'm not even sorry. It just means my
special boy is doing well. Okay. So the real secret, God,
I love that I always end up tangenting about Binkie. It's always Binkie's fault.
But that's okay. He's so cute it doesn't even matter anyways. The
real best way to think about how to have a pipeline from connection to referral
is all about relationships. The worst thing that you can do is reach out
to somebody you don't know and a request for them to refer you to a
position. Now, we all know that almost eighty percent of positions are actually
filled via referral, and the reason for that is Number one, people feel
more comfortable interviewing someone that's been vetted someone who has already said they're a good
person or they're good at their job. The second thing is that you know
why referrals are so beneficial is it really helps your resume stand out because the
recruiter probably gets a direct message about you as a candidate and they have no
choice but to review your resume like they're being held accountable. And the other
thing is sometimes jobs aren't even posted before they're filled because they already have somebody
in mind. So there's no question that referrals are important, and the best
way to get a referral is by building genuine relationships. I do have a
caveat to this. I've talked about this before on basically every platform. But
if you're in a pinch and you see a job that you love and you're
like, I need to get a referral, like I need to be referred
I need this position, and you don't have time to maybe network with people,
go on a website like Fishbowl or like glass Door, actually more so
Fishbowl really, but people are willing to refer you for jobs even if they
don't know you because they get paid a referral bonus. I personally think it's
risky because they're putting their brand on the line for you. But hey,
Adola is a dual. That's a great way to do it. But if
you want to do it the more long term, sustainable way, and honestly
the way that's going to reap the most benefit, it's all about building relationships.
So at this point, I'm assuming you already have a connection in mind
working at a certain company, and obviously that's a company you want to work
at. But if you don't have somebody in mind, I actually have a
full episode dedicated to how to identify and connect with mentors. That's probably a
really good place to start because I walk you through literally how to reach out
to people on the internet that you don't know and how to start building a
relationship. So I would go check that one out. I'll link it in
the description as well. But essentially, at this stage, you have someone
in mind and you're like, Okay, I want to work where you work.
How are you going to help me do that? The first thing you
need to do is build a real relationship with this person. So the best
way I personally do this, or like the easiest way is start off with
a simple message on LinkedIn perhaps it's with an article or something relevant to their
industry that you think is interesting. That's the one I typically do. So
if I'm reaching out to someone in recruiting, I'll send an article about how
AI is changing the future of recruiting and I was like, hey, hope
you're doing well. I saw this article and knew it'd be something you'd be
interested in, so I thought i'd send it over let me know if you're
ever up for reconnecting over a coffee or a quick phone call. Nine times
out of ten they're going to respond and say yes, especially if you're taking
the time to personalize the message and add value so they're not under the impression
you're asking for anything. They're under the impression you're building a relationship. And
that's the secret. The secret to having someone refer you is to build a
real relationship and not just ask for things. Imagine you met someone and you
were like, can you do this for me? Can you fill up my
water bottle? Can you rub my feet? Can you go walk my dog?
That is not a relationship. That is you getting bossed around like that
is not the vibe, and you need to adopt that mindset when you're asking
for referrals as well. So really invest in the relationship in a way that
feels authentic to you. If you have time, I think the best way
to budget this is by doing one call a month. So at the end
of every month, you connect with this person and you use it as time
to discuss what they've been doing at work. Maybe you use this time to
learn a little bit more about them and you can actually ask questions that's going
to help you grow in your career. So maybe you're meeting with someone in
marketing and you ask them, how are you like implementing different processes right now
versus two years ago, now that the pandemic is cooling down, Like,
ask questions that are going to benefit and aid in your development. But it
also gives them an opportunity to share their insight and build a relationship. And
studies show us that people love talking about themselves. So if you're asking specific
and targeted questions to this person about their career, like, that's a big
win. After you do that a couple of times, maybe one or two
times, what I want you to do is reach out via email and say,
Hey, it was amazing chatting with you. I just wanted to reach
out because I noticed this job posting at your company, and if you'd be
comfortable, i'd love to connect with the manager for this role. Notice how
you are not explicitly asking for a referral. Whoop, did you just hear
foreign ask texting me in the background? Pypern. That's too funny, but
Barb, that's on silent now, Sorry about that, but that's fine.
That's our vibe. It's like two friends hanging out, but you're not asking
them for a referral, because even if you have a relationship with them,
sometimes they'll take it as oh, so you only were speaking to me to
get a referral, which is true. But we're all playing psychological game here
right. I'm not trying to make you a sneaky little person, but I
am helping you play the game, and sometimes you need to play the game
to get ahead. Like it is what it is, so I would highly
recommend framing it and positioning it that way, and don't just put all your
eggs in one basket. I would really recommend that you are connecting with multiple
people and doing this thing over and over again until you get a referral that
is actually going to help you out. So this episode topic I told you
actually came through request, but I did not want to neglect the questions that
you guys send in and friendly reminder, if you have questions you want me
to answer, I answer them every week in the podcast, unless, for
whatever reason, it's a really long episode, then I will kind of bake
it into the episode itself. But the link for that is in the description,
so make sure you are checking out. I actually got a question from
someone that I think is really really good, and I actually don't know if
it's something I've talked about, but this person was asking how do I deal
with the emotional aspect of job hunting and the disappointment when I'm rejected. I
have been going through it, my friend. First of all, I know
exactly how you're feeling, like I was in the exact same position when I
was first applying for jobs after I graduated, and then the worst of it,
honestly was in between leaving them when I was at the bank and then
trying to transition into tech because I literally scented my application everywhere I applied,
everywhere I was networking, and I kept being told no, no, no,
and it was really eating at my confidence, because you also have to
remember, as a recruiter, there's nothing more humbling than failing an interview,
Like can you imagine I give interview advice and then I did not pass the
interview, and I was really letting it define my worth and I was like,
what skills am I missing? Like it was just a whole thing all
to say, I totally hear where you are coming from. Job hunting is
emotional the same way that dating is emotional, because you are vulnerable, you
are asking for something you want and ultimately you might get rejected, and those
are things that are really difficult to deal with. The first thing you have
to remember is data, and data is what helped me get through the mental
pain of job hunting, and it's that statistically, it takes at least six
months to find a new job, and that was a statistic before the pandemic.
I'd imagine that stat has gone up since then. So if it feels
like it's taking a long time, it's because it is, and it's because
that's just how long it takes. It doesn't mean that something is wrong with
you. The other thing you need to remember is that the job market right
now is probably one of the worst I've seen in at least five or six
years. It's a really, really ugly job market and that is entirely out
of your control. And speaking of control, it's really easy for us to
think that we didn't get the job because of us. And sometimes that's true.
Sometimes we don't answer the question well, sometimes we're just not qualified,
and a lot of times, I would argue even more times, it has
nothing to do with us. It is a referral that's moving into the position.
Like we talked about before, it is an internal promotion. Actually,
maybe the job got canceled because of this crappy economy. There are so many
things that are out of our control, and maybe it's delusional to think that
it's never our fault. But here's what I will say. If you are
practicing your interview skills, if you record yourself answering interview questions, if you're
you know, following all of the other tips and tricks that I provide on
my podcast. And I'm not even saying that as like a shameless plug.
I'm saying that is like legitimately their good interview tips. If you're doing all
of those things and you're doing your best and you're learning after every single interview.
You need to let go. Like I had to do this too.
You have to let go, and you have to stop blaming yourself. And
the best way to emotionally deal with this rejection is understanding they're not rejecting you
as a person. It doesn't mean that you weren't the best person for the
job. It means there were probably other factors. It could be someone who
has years of experience in the same title or in the same company. You
can't compete sometimes and that's okay, and we need to invest in ourselves,
but also know when to detach. It's the same as dating. Like if
you go on a date and someone says, oh, I'm not interested in
you, Yeah, it sucks. But at the same time, why do
we want someone who doesn't want us? And that kind of mindset is how
I personally kind of crawled out of a dark, scary dungeon when I was
job hunting. This is another one where I'm like, have I answered this
before? But it's another great question. It's how do you go about staying
fit and healthy, especially when you work a lot of hours. I'm not
perfect at this. I'm going to be so honest with you, I think
in life there are always going to be conflicting priorities. Probably three years ago,
I was in the gym five to seven days a week, Like I
would say on average, I was probably six days a week, and I
was super committed to eating really clean, doing all of these things, and
of course was still working a lot, because as you know, I still
have my full time recruiting job as well as my social platforms, which,
to be honest, if you calculate the hours, I work at least thirty
five hours a week on the social media stuff because I also have clients,
like it's a whole thing. But I was working a lot and still managing
my health. But what I realized was that by focusing so much on my
physical health, I was actually neglecting a lot of other things that impacted my
mental health. I totally dropped every hobby, Like every hobby I had was
out the window because it was either the gym or working, and that was
it. Like suddenly I was no longer interested in hiking, I was no
longer interested in baking with my mom. Like I was just NonStop work mode.
There was no play, and I felt really down about that and I
kind of had to redefine what health and wellness means for me today and at
twenty seven, health and wellness for me is, yes, working, it's
going to the gym, it's you know, going on walks, being outside.
But it's also investing in my family, and it's investing in my friends,
and it's making time for dating. It's making time to be open and
like learn and grow as a person. So I say that to tell you
it's okay if you're not in the gym seven days a week. I'm not
in the gym seven days a week anymore. I'm probably four to five days.
And I feel really good about that. Has my body changed? Yeah?
Am I okay with that most days? Because I think the quality of
my life has significantly improved the second I decided that balance sometimes has to look
different. The tips that have helped me stay on track and continue to prioritize
my movement and prioritize help is scheduling. So I have consistent days where I
do work out. For example, Sundays I do not exercise, but Mondays
I absolutely exercise, And it doesn't matter how long the work day is,
I get to the gym because I schedule it in, so I will usually
work out. It kind of depends. Right now, I'm supporting a couple
of countries outside of Canada, so my working hours are a little weird,
like I'm starting really early and then like kind of have to work late.
It's very strange. But on a normal day where I'm working a standard nine
to five, I'm the best at the gym at like eleven, So I
book a one hour meeting with myself and I go to the gym from eleven
to twelve. And that's what I do with my lunch hour. And on
days that's not a possibility, I wake up earlier or I go to the
gym after work. So just schedule it in so that it is part of
your routine, so that it's a non negotiable. But also be gentle with
yourself. And for me, one of the best things I did was on
days where I'm like, oh my god, I don't have the energy to
go to the gym, I let myself either stay home and rest, or
I go on a walk, like just move your body. Sometimes I have
a dance party. Exercise isn't supposed to be punishment. It's supposed to be
rewarding. It's supposed to make you feel mentally clear. It's supposed to give
you motivation and energy and peace like within ourselves. So the second it feels
like it's work, it's okay to find something else that feels a little bit
better. Oh. I didn't even tell you this, but by the time
you're listening to this episode, I think I'm going to be in London,
like the UK. What day is this going live? Yeah, you know
what, I might be in London. I might not. It's either this
Sunday or the next Sunday, so we'll see. But either way, Chip
Chip Cherry are. If y'all have any recommendations of things I should do while
I'm in the UK, please let me know. I'm going for work.
Actually I'm speaking at a conference, which I am super excited about. If
there's one thing I love, it's public speaking. It is my favorite thing
to do. It's I just love it. I love engaging with an audience.
I love telling a story. I love building those relationships. To me,
it is just like I'm the happiest when I'm on stage. I absolutely
love it and it makes me think back to when I was studying theater in
University. Yeah, if y'all know the story, you know, I only
was in that program for two weeks, not even. But it really it
reminds me that all of the little hobbies that I thought were silly and that
weren't going to get me anywhere actually have fueled the work I do today.
So I don't know, just a little aside, but definitely let me know
because I'm super excited. I hope that you enjoyed this episode, and don't
forget submit your questions. I am always going to answer them. Check me
out on my other socials if you haven't already, and I would really appreciate
if you've shared the show. We are not gate keeping knowledge here, so
share it, share it, share it. I so appreciate you, and
I will talk to you next Sunday.