You know, good for nothing, eggs sucking dumb. We did it our
way because we love it that way. We love it that way, And
I have this wonderful gut feeling and I've had it all my life. When
it's time to go, I think it's now it's time to go. Welcome
back to the Lapsed Funk. Funking in the Attitude Era is the next stop
on our journey through the life of the most consequential pro wrestler to ever live,
Terry Funk. Yes, and Boss, I'm sure you became mostly acquainted
with the Funker in the attitordre at WWF. No, Oh, yeah,
absolutely that that's that would be my Yeah, where I was mostly acquainted with
with Terry Funk. I'm trying to remember any other time. Yeah, I
mean, I know I heard the name for sure, but I can't imagine
where I would have watched anything of his or really appreciated his work, you
know. And I remember thinking when they when they made the connection that Chainsaw
Charlie was Terry Funk. I said, oh, okay, like I knew
who it was. It wasn't a who. Yeah, No, it wasn't
a who. It was definitely a oh Okay, that makes sense. It
wasn't a Jim Knightheart. No, no, I was actually disappointed that it
wasn't Jim Knightheart. Actually, so the only person in the world who was
upset that he that he was, you know, unceremoniously excommunicated from degeneration x
on raw rank And that's any the only person, the only person who was
upset about that. But anyway, so not a who in the form of
Jim the avul lightheart Butt. In fact, he in the form of the
Funker. And as we've gone through his illustrious career from you know, Japan
to Puerto Rico to Germany to ECW to WCW to WWF in the mid eighties,
I tried never to lose sight of the fact that most people listening to
this very well may have become first introduced to Terry Funk in the WWF in
nineteen ninety seven eight when he was there side by side with the guy who
we've clearly established by now in the lapsed Funk was truly his chum of the
nineties in mcfoley, be it to callow each other up in Japan or creating
memories in ECW, whatever the case might be. It certainly paid back all
of the sort of mentorship that Terry Funk showed to McK foley when Mick got
on with WWF and took off and was able to bring the Funker in to
compliment his act. Well, you've actually covered the episode of Raw, the
last one of nineteen ninety seven, where Chainsaw Charlie makes his debut in the
WWF, and we'll get into, of course, why it was Chainsaw Charlie
coming out of that box at Nasau Coliseum and not Terry Funk. That's what
I I'm always curious about. I have no clue why that was the case.
It's funny, after you read everybody explain it, you still end up
with no clue why it actually happened, which is about as Terry Funk.
I thought it was just a good idea. You know, why not had
nothing to do with it, you know, leaving me at the last minute
to go check on your horse pal. I can guarantee you that why not
Chainsaw Charlie. You know, I'm a fan of Chainsaw Charlie. Still don't
know exactly what it is, but I got a pair of panty hose here
and that seems like a start. Don't ask me where school from. By
the way, I don't listen. My pantyhose are my business. Terry.
I want to talk to you about attitude. I know you've had a long
career. I want to talk about attitude. I want to talk about maybe
an era of attitude that might suit your needs. Oh, if it's a
I really appreciate you considering my needs. But I always like to think of
myself as coming to a place like this because I'm here to fulfill your needs,
and you know, I want to have to decided I might come down,
come up here and see if I can, you know, make a
difference. Well, actually, I appreciate that we already had a guy do
that too, but didn't really go over too well. I'll tell you this,
Terry. I'm looking here at this online chronology of your career, and
I noted that you said you would never work Puerto Rico again after Bruce of
Brodie was murdered in nineteen eighty eight. It looks like just a few months
later you wrestled T and T in Puerto Rico. Is that true? More
importantly, did you wrestle on TNT in Puerto Rico, because then we got
real problems. Yeah, that's one. That's one thing Terry did, cross
office list wrestling TNT on tnt on USA. I suppose you could wrestle mister
Usa on TNT on USA. You do that too. And among the many
things Terry Funk went ahead and did, those aren't among them. We're here
to talk about what he did do in the late nineties when you know,
of course, as we all know, more eyeballs seem to be on pro
wrestling in this country than at any other time period in history. As the
WWFNWCW going to war, and as we've learned, you know, while the
Funker never really sets down and where's the team colors for any particular wrestling office,
his phone does tend to ring when things get a little dicey. Be
it all Japan, New Japan War. Be it you know, Jim Hurd
trying to break through in the late eighties and to establish himself as the new
owner of the NWAWW ship. Be at ECW trying to get something off the
ground. Be it FMW trying to carve out a space for itself outside the
big two in Japan. That's when the Funker's phone rings, and that's where
the Funker specializes, coming in again, making a difference, and then going
on ahead on down the road the second he feels it all pinned down,
the second he feels it all boxed in, and he started his ww frond
nine ninety seven boxed in, and we're going to go from there and continue
on through his decision actually go with WCW in two thousand instead of WWF And
he was part of the ignominious and brutal end of that company. Not that
he was an author of any of the key storylines that you can point to
as downfalls, but certainly the Funker once again called in from the double cross
when the going gets tough in an office that of course is replete with his
disciples, people who knew him accredited him with helping them in the business.
In the case of JJ Dillon, for a brief period of time after Vince
Russol lost power in January of two thousand, was basically running WCW long with
Kevin Sullivan. You better believe JJ Dillon who really cut his teeth in the
Amarilla territory when you know the Funk brothers were running it shortly after the death
of Dory Funk Senior. You better believe JJ Dillon knew knew who to call
as well. So it's time to warm up the branding eye and saddle on
up to Atlanta one more time. But I would say short of you know
that the dusty stuff on Georgia Championship Wrestling, which was on TBS, and
you I don't have the ratings handy from nineteen seventy whatever the fuck or nineteen
eighty, but this has to be the most watched part of Funk's career.
Besides, you know, if you count like one match against Holkogan on Saturday
Night's main event, which isn't to discount that because frankly, that probably is
the most watched match Terry Funk ever had, right this is probably the most
sustained, the most watched sustained run that Terry Funk had every single week,
and certainly, again just based on demographics alone, the folks around to listen
to the lapsed fan here ten years of strong here in twenty twenty four probably
learned all about him here as well, and they certainly, you know,
talked a lot about his history with Terry Funk on WWF television. A lot
of the history that we've covered. They didn't even really necessarily shy away from
their ECW history together, because, as we're about to learn, Paul Hayman
wasn't exactly operating at arm's length with the WWF by this point nineteen ninety seven,
they were quite chumming in fact, when it came time to find a
place to stage this new concept called Shotgun Saturday Night, the newsletters reporting Paul
Hayman was actually willing to extend a helping hand to the WWF to find locations
to basically replicate the entire look in my opinion of what ECW was doing in
the nineties over on that short lived experience call experience experiment pardon called Shotgun Saturday
Night, And of course Shotgun Saturday Night and its original incarnation did not come
and go without Terry Funk showing up and making it very clear why it might
not be the best idea to do something like this live and to call the
Funker on short notice to come in with his you know, just personal standard
of making an impact and leaving them buzzing, even if you violate every single
rule you're given before you go out there. So looking forward to this.
It's a media part of Terry's career. It's an underappreciated part of Terry's career
in my opinion. Sure, sure, because it isn't you know, there's
not a moment that's a monument or a memorial to Terry Funk in this whole
run. Necessarily he's kind of part of the scenery. But in a way
that really proves that despite the age he was at in nineteen ninety eight or
whatever, still the best performers in the game, still able to leave you
talking about his match second almost none on an entire card populated with what we
know, young and dynamic workers. So we'll talk about that. We'll talk
about so much more. Now. When you think about you think about Chainsaw
Charlie, what do you think about I think about I mean, the first
thing comes to mind is the is the dumpster match at Wrestling your fourteen?
Oh? Sure you you were there, as was I, although we didn't
know each other, That's right, we were there and I loved that.
I loved that match I had. I thought it was so much fun and
different and yeah, I got a kick out of that. Yep. Generally
I realized that Terry Funk was like eighty nine at the time, or that
he suffered just a as it turned out, a horrendous hematoma taking that power
bomb off the apron and of the dumpster at Ringside, A real bad injury.
They even showed it on Rob briefly, as we'll get into, but
that was a real As far as the litany of injuries the Terry Funks offered
in his career, that was what the hell is that? It's a Philly
Philly level. Uh you know, bumps for the funker. Yeah, ecw
the level, bumps for the Funker. Uh there. And you know I've
talked about this before, but it bears repeating here if we're going to talk
about Terry Funk and WWF as Chainsaw Charlie. One of my most vivid memories
of make you know appointment viewing Monday Night Raw during the Monday Night Wars,
making sure my ass was in front of that television at eight o'clock, all
homework done, no no reliance on VCRs, DVRs, any of that shit.
I had to go to school Tuesday knowing what happened. One of the
things was this show long mystery about who's inside the box over at Nasau Coliseum,
which you know as the Crow Flies is fairly close to where I was
watching the show at the time. Not really, but logistically the following was
possible. My brother and I look at each other and go, you know,
Dad's not home yet, story that he supposed to be home like I
don't know, and that treats about every commercial break they show this box on
the stage and the Monday Night Raw entrance set and talk about who the hell
is in this box? What is in this box? Find out tonight and
we just you know, it goes and goes, and it's the night goes
before they make the reveal. My brother and I look at each other and
go, what if Dad's in the box? What? Oh god? The
box pops open and our father walks out on mother night? Yeah, I
mean it's like, of course that wouldn't happen, but you know what,
until the box opens, so you never know, you kind of don't let
the thought rest, you know, it could have been my mom? Right?
Well, yeah, first I wasn't sure, even though I hadn't met
you yet. Have you ever sat their boss watching a live wrestling show and
thought, maybe your mom's coming out any moment that would be terry Funk because
it gets I can be looking at her like right next to me, like
I watched the I wonder if mom than me. I'll tell you what I
mean. I'll tell you what's funny. I can't necessarily be your mom out
there, but the closest thing I can do is put this panty hose on
my head and see what happened from there. I'll go ahead and put it
on my head. I'll tell you what you know. I used to be
a big fan of a panty hose. I'm used to Okay, I repeat,
I used to be a big fan of the panty hose. We'll get
into that. By the way, fucking bizarre. I said, you know,
hey, I might as well wearing on my head, Yeah, I
said, I asked Vince mcman. I said, hey, Vince, Yes,
have you ever worn panty hose on your head? Yes? I have.
Did you like it? Uh? Well? Uh? To be honest,
mister Funk, what I enjoyed about it really was not what was going
on on my head, but was going on down my pants. That depends
what head you're talking about, pal oh, because my member was shiny and
throbbing, because I just I had I had a veiny, gargantuan Darry had
no idea what he's walking into. But then like fifteen seconds later, Vince
is saying words like Gary Danshulan, like, we're talking about like a a
pillar, right, A pillar of sexuality and a pillar of the community.
How can you be both? Well, not everybody can be. Vincent Kennedy
McMahon O a pillar of community sexuality in my pants? Well, you know,
and critics say a pillar of community theater by the way, Ah,
you know what, I uh, I think I'm gonna go a head and
put my head down the toilet in Vince, you know, we were talking
the other day and I got to thinking about this this chain saw Charlie idea,
and at first I said, you know, I'm not so sure that's
for me, But that got to thinking about it, and I said,
you know, you can call me chainsaw Charlie, and you can put a
chainsaw on my head, but you know what's missing. You know, I'm
going to go ahead and say what's missing. And I'm serious about this.
There's a pair of petty hose on my head covered with baby powder. If
we can go there, I can go there. If you know what I'm
saying. I see, Well, I'll tell you what. I'm certainly not
a posed to the idea. I'm not sure if I'm sold on the idea,
but you know the I you know, maybe maybe what raw needs is
a man with pantyhose on his head, right, the chance to to put
a I don't know, there's just something that tickles my balls about the chance
to put a top star on a wrestling dynasty that isn't the McMahon. Isn't
the McMahon's on my television in a complete lampooning of his reputation and his heritage
and the level of respect he's built up in the business. Find a way
to talk him into showing up on my television show acting like a complete buffoon.
See, Because what I appreciate about you, Terry, is the fact
that brother, what Terry not Terry, Terry, Terry. I'm sorry,
I'll go back to nitro dude. So what I appreciate about a man like
yourself is that they know how to make fun of themselves right, I mean,
no, not to take themselves as individuals too seriously. More precisely,
what they know how to keep their fucking mouth shut while I make fun of
them in front of the whole world. More precisely, they know that what
makes me happy makes them happy. Tests correct, So put the panmeos on
your fucking head before I call elder services on you. Middle aged and crazy?
Huh, I'd like to be middle aged and institutionalized. What the hell
is there? Have you? You know people have been pointing this out?
Hold on, let me look at this. Is that is that on your
side? That noise that people are noticing. I'm starting to notice it now
that I'm seeing messages about it. I know, I got that. I
don't know. I don't drive me fucking nuts. It's getting really bad.
I've I've heard it. I've heard it. I don't know. It's something
TJ's doing, probably, you know what, that's all right. We shouldn't
even talk about this yet. I don't know. I didn't ask him about
it. Maybe that's that's like a quirk of post production. Well, I
hope it isn't too bad, because you know, I've heard people mention it
and I haven't heard it, you know, so it's hard to know when
it happens until the episode comes out. But you know, let me.
Let me try to because I'm doing a live you know, I'm recording along
here with the We can edit this out later, but sure, sure,
sure, I'm recording the sound waves here. Let me try to isolate that.
Give it a listen. Okay, I think this is it. You
can only can only hear it my headphone, So if you can't hear it,
that's why hold on. It's like a whisper almost, But it also
sounds like a you know, like one of those things that can happen sometimes
when you export a file and it's corrected or something. Yeah, you know,
it almost sounds like the in when the times I've heard it, it
reminds me of in Twin Peaks, you know, the little person in the
dream sequence who's walking and talking backwards backwards? Oh, oh, that's where.
Do you think it's reversing our audio somehow? I don't know. I
don't know. I have no clue. Maybe it's take the tail into something.
Yeah, let me look. Yeah, let me Actually it just runs
through a filter and see if I can't reverse the audio, because maybe maybe
it is sort of like this weird echo and if I if I reverse the
audio or way it backwards what if you reverse the heat hold on that work
too. I'm working on that. Let me see all right, Actually you
should be able to hear it now, all right, see what it is?
April seventh, Good afternoon. This is a news program service for Wednesday,
November nineteenth, nineteen eighty. We have twenty one stories for you,
including six sports stories. The following change has been made up to now on
today's final lineup, Number ten, titled skating has been dropped and we're now
ready for transmission deck. Last summer, two members of the ITEAM were driving
past former Mayor Rizzo's house at kyw Our sister station in Philadelphia. He had
an epic showdown with the former mayor, Frank Rizzo. We could have shot
here, so we don't know. Well, I take that thing out,
I'm looking, We're off throw it out in the middle of goddamn street.
Just days after protesters tried to take down the statue, a former mayor and
police commissioner Frank Rizzo the city of Philadelphia and did it themselves. Let me
tell you something, you know, I know, you know, I've been
around a long time and I just can't understand. Sorry, I'll another stand
barman from Channel three News. Can we uh buy sir? How are you
get away from me? You crumb? That's the challenge, except I'll put
my dog away and I'll come back. And you got one, two,
three, and I'll do it along with you in that back of that fence,
just the three of us, four of us me and you show you
what kind of a man you are. You're less than a man. Okay,
you're a crumb creep. And I wouldn't take that off of nobody.
And there's three of you, and I'm by myself, and when it's over,
there'll be nothing to it, win or lose. Okay, but you
don't have the courage. You're a real crumb bum. I t on alone.
You're a crumb bumb. Well, it's the last thing I am one
of the ring. You're a coward. You're a yellow sneak. And if
you want to now what I say, let's forget all the rules of this
great country we live in. I will go back to that war with the
three of you is just me. There're a crumb creep, coward. You
can't take you don't. You won't stand up to them. I'm stabs standing
up. We're not here to fight. We're here to get some answers to
some questions. That's what I want to fight you. Why is that because
you're a crumb, creep, lush coward. You don't even know me.
Man, you are a lush. I can tell by looking at you.
I was a cop all my life, and I know a lush when I
see one, and you're a lush. You're going to have the hall of
a story on that. Philip So, I say, Philip, so Philly,
So, Phily, So phili So feel the sun. Bozo's biceps and
bullshit? What do you say, Boss? What do you say? Let's
forget all the rules of this fine country we live in Philadelphia, mayor Frank
Rizzo style, Let's go to the birthplace of the United States, where our
founding fathers met, discuss, debated, and formed a new country. I
think it's about time we sign our own declaration of independence upon TLFX. We
forge a new path by paying tribute to the past. And well, no,
it won't be April seventh, Bagel's Biceps and Bacon as part of WrestleMania
Weekend in Philadelphia. It will be our very own Bozo's biceps and bullshit brunch.
Yes, it will be Punchline Philly, neon eastern Sunday, April sect
seventh. I hereby declear the fucking games because the lapsed fan is fire bombing
the city of brotherly Love. We're back in the spot and this is high
level shit for a high level podcast on a high level year of commemoration,
this being our tenth year. Anyone who's going to WrestleMania within the sound of
our voice and two three four degrees separated from that, your presence is hereby
required. Yes, the club is Punchline Philly. It's in the Fishtown section
of Philly. From what I'm told the emerging Fishtown entertainment scene welcomes the lapsed
fan to the stage the only WrestleMania preview and recap live show that you'll need.
Yes, at all kinds of hijinks from there. Boss. We took
the stage in La last WrestleMania weekend and it was it was a tough night.
It was a tough time of night, you know, North Hollywood,
a Sunday night. People said, God, what are you doing? Place
was jammed, place was rocking. Every One was left wanting more. And
this time the time slot is perfect. The day is perfect, the city
is perfect, Philly tlf Bozo's Biceps, bullshit brunch, the reality is perfect.
Let me tell you we're gonna fill Philly hard. That's right, fill
it like a fucking cheese steak. We're coming with that fucking who. And
you know we go to completion every single time, just like the lapsed Funk.
Hey, you know we need to finish two sometimes. This is how
it was meant to be the crossroads of this Lapsed Funk journey. And all
we've learned about Philly and E. C. Dub and the Philly scene and
the Philly mentality, we've at least in your mind at least boss, we've
built these these rabid Philly wrestling fans up to be almost psychopathic, I would
imagine. So they're hungry for carnage, barbarians at the gate. Yes,
and what do we do We book a show in March directly towards them.
Yep. And ask anybody who was in attendance at the Comedy Chateau in North
Hollywood after WrestleMania Nite too last year. This is the way to make sure
if you are a lapsed fan that your WrestleMania weekend counts because it will leave
you feeling hollow at Lincoln Financial Field. We know this already, and we'll
be there to explain why. We'll recap night one of Mania, we'll preview
night two. We'll make that long walk like Hogan, surrounded by the kids,
remember that all the way. Yes, and we guarantee your disappointment with
WrestleMania. Oh of course, of course. So if we're going to go,
if we're gonna be there, which we will be, it's only appropriate
that we pitch our tent and invite members of the Solar System and all their
friends and family out to Punchline Philly. This is a high level venue and
we're really excited that they're welcoming us. You want to go to Punchlinephilly dot
com p U n h l i n E Philly dot com and just scroll
down to the calendar where they have a search function. Because this is all
the way out on April seventh, it's not really like a page one thing
yet. Just type in LAPS and it'll take you right to all the information
you need to join us at Punchline Philly. We're offering general admission tickets for
thirty eight dollars. That's with the charges it can convenience charges included on a
thirty five dollars ticket. We're also offering preferred seating. So if you want
to know for absolute certain that when you get to Punchline Philly, you're gonna
be front row with your co chairman. Basically, that's the splatter zone.
Oh okay, that's the true that that's that's that's the that's the zone you're
going to get wet. And it's my understanding that this being Philadelphia a state
of the union, is incoming from someone we haven't heard from it a very
long time. He's been in hiding, he's been blotting. It's lapsed Vince.
I believe that one thing that is guaranteed is that we are we live
in a society, We live in a democratic union of of entertainment, and
we will be providing an insight as to the current state of entertainment product.
There is a need for that sort of you know that that that that vision
in totality, that that read across sectors, across industries, across future horizons,
that only lapsed Vince can provide. He's been quiet for a very long
time, and we have it on very good authority that April seventh, noontime
at Punchline Philly in Philadelphia, Lapstvints will have a bit to say, and
also our friends from the stand up comedy world to join us again. That
worked wonderfully last year in LA for anybody who was there, has some really
funny motherfuckers corralled by our good friend the Goots, who will be with us
as well and played a pivotal role in getting this set up once again.
This year, we'll reach out to a network of wrestling savvy comedians who will
provide the sardonic insights you've come to expect from TLF as we have like a
you know, TLF and Friends fucking extravaganza. And the menu looks pretty good,
so oh it does. We actually can deliver on the brunch part,
I think, which is nice. We might be able to deliver on the
momsa front as well. If WWF's going to drop this great tradition, boss,
we can pick it up. I think we have to pick it up.
It's brunch time, noontime, Are you kidding? I'll show up stomach
rumbling. I don't give a fuck. Absolutely, maybe it will be anyway,
I'll be rumbling hard so solar system by now you know what to do,
and unlike last year, there's no excuses around you know, time zone.
I know a lot of our fans are on the East coast and the
West coast was a lot to ask, although God did we reserve a special
place in our heart for fans that flew from the Caroline to see us as
there massive didn't even go to wrestle mass I know that was the best part.
That was the best part. People didn't even go to WrestleMania but came
to see our show. Who's the real draw? This one has to be
a success, and it will be and we'll be there and it's it's a
beautiful thing the way this all came together. Trust us. We'll be bringing
you the whole story soon enough, but suffice to say for now, it's
The Lapsed Fan presents Bozo's Biceps and Bullshit Brunch April seventh, noon, Punchline,
Philly, and if you buy, send us an email with proof of
purchase to the Lapsed Fan at gmail dot com. Not only will we be
glad to give you a phone call to congratulate you on your terrific decision as
we did last year, but we'd also be glad to enter your name into
a special raffle that we're going to be doing as part of this event.
I haven't even told GP about this. No, I don't know about this
one. This is exciting, Yes, So the first to order will get
placed into the raffle if you order your ticket by let's say, the end
of February. I'm prepared to say that if you buy your ticket enact soon,
by the end of February, you will be entered into a raffle to
win a very special, one of a kind prize that TLF is prepared to
bring with them to Philadelphia. The prize to be announced on next week's episode
of The Lapsed Funk. But for now, do not delay. Now.
If you buy a general admission ticket the lower price, you will get one
placement for every ticket into the raffle. If you buy preferred seating, you
will get two for every ticket you buy, so little value add there for
your preferred seating premium, making you that much more likely to emerge from Punchline
Philly with the kind of thing. I prefer that option put into your hands.
I prefer that option I think it's preferred seating. Yeah, I mean
there's nothing look one thing about the show last year. You know, we
came in with kind of like subdued expectations, but if you showed up late,
you were way in the back. Like it wasn't a huge house,
it wasn't a huge room, but like it was hard to get in the
front, Like only the realist motherfuckers got up there. There was a little
bit of elbowing that had to go on to claim that front row. Oh
yeah, absolutely, I mean it was uh, I mean, I do
believe I saw a few heads hit the tables too. Yeah, body's hitting
the floor ECW style as well. So if you want to feel secure and
arriving at Punchlineffilly at noon on Sunday, April seventh, that you're going to
be able to be as close to the co chairman as you need to be,
you do want to opt for that premium preferred seating, which is something
Punchline Fly likes to offer to fan. So we said, sure, let's
do it. I imagine that there will be you know, it's Philly,
it's ECW territory that will have flaming tables at least, right well, I
can't make too many promises on that front. But I but like last year,
I think the goal is to get disinvited. So absolutely, maybe that's
the attack we'll have to take. Let's make sure the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission
doesn't get tipped off to our presence there, But it couldn't be a Maybe
we can get to our lapse time given us Pennsylvania. Maybe we can get
doctors of Horrigan to come make you a cameo. Dude, dude, maybe
we should just go visit him, Just pay him a call, just say
hi, I'm here to see George's Horian. Yeah, I have an appointment
please. Right, we have so many great fans in Philly. Some of
my favorite members of the Solar System are from in and around Philadelphia. Can't
wait to see them, can't wait to see everybody, so many of our
great fans on the East Coast. Hopefully we'll see this as a drive worth
making, a train trip worth taking. I mean, it doesn't even have
to be a flight, although if it is, it's a breeze, right,
I mean, it's nothing for you. It's like Philly's like what maybe
four hours in a car? Three four hours something like that. This is
this feels last year as wonderfully as it turned out. All we could think
about his logistics. All we can think about is people don't have a bad
time because they need to get there, and it's going to be so hard
after WrestleMania this year. Man Man is the wind at our sails, and
we're really looking forward to seeing you there. So please act early, act
often, and send us proof of purchase the Lapsed Fan at gmail dot com,
and we're gonna go balls to the wall making you feel like it was
worth your purchase, because these are the proof points. These are where the
doubters sit in the you know, in the shadows, rubbing their hands hoping
to see us fail. Hasn't happened for ten years running, not gonna happen
this year with your help at the TLF Solar System. So and you know
what, you know what I you know what I still love about about the
last one was how there were people who were newbies who came. Oh it's
so crivi. I mean there are people that didn't no idea. They just
saw us on lists of what to do, made the weekend. They came
up to Westward. They're like that was fucking awesome, Like, who are
you guys? Let me tell you a little something, pal, we been
do in this Okay, and it continues, so we look forward to a
lot of that too, the word getting out on the ground and Philly,
tell all your friends and family, I mean, bring them all. I
want to see everybody. I want to see brothers, cousins, sisters,
wives, girlfriends. I know wives and girlfriends are tough sell, but there
are a few are at the LA show, you know what. That's fine,
It's terrific to see. And if you have a wife and a girlfriend,
bring them both, that's right. Yeah, if we work in Salt
Lake City, you could bring both your wives, that's right. Maybe that's
next year. I don't know. I don't know where they're gonna do be,
but I think this is going to be fucking amazing. So excited to
take the stage. Keep keep it peeled, of course to our ex account
and of course the podcast for announcements on what comedians are going to be joining
us. Couldn't have been more happy with who turned out to support us and
share a little bit of limelight last time. And I know the Goots is
hard at work on securing some perhaps even higher profile folks considering how many more
wrestling friendly comics are you know, have their base of operations in and all
New York, in the West, in the East coast. So it's gonna
be really cool, very much looking forward to seeing you there. We're gonna
keep it tight, we're gonna keep it strong, and you can eat and
drink to your heart's content. I don't know about your heart's content, but
it's all part of a memorable WrestleMania weekend. It's WrestleMania forty. That's an
e. That's that nice zero year boss, that nice decade mark. And
we know something about marking the decade around here. Yep, yes we do,
Yes, we do, and we know that we know most importantly that
we're here to disappoint, that's right, and we plan on disappointing. Yeah,
we come in ready to disappoint because the win for us is entertaining ourselves
and if others are entertained in the process, that's gravy and that's always been
our secret sauce, so count on it. The Laps Fans, Bozos,
Biceps and Bullshit Brunch Sunday, April seventh, noontime, Punchline Philly, Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania. You know you can make it, you know you will make
it, and we're very excited to see you so again. For tickets,
visit Punchlinephilly dot com. Go down to the calendar, type and laps lapsed
fan whatever you'd like and get on board. Send us proof of purchased lapsed
fan at gmail dot com to get one of a kind shout out from your
co chairs and some time with your co chairs and in addition, be entered
into a raffle. The winner will be presented at the event on April seventh,
so make sure you're there in the flesh if you want to claim your
prize. I'm pretty sure we're gonna come down on a rule that if you
know somebody wins who couldn't make it ors in attendance, we move on to
another name because we want that moment of the handoff. So totally excited.
You're gonna bring You're gonna bring your finest boss. You're gonna una dress up
like George the Horrin at this thing around. I think I might not bring
my bow ties, and you know, we'll choose one. I'll wear like
a gray suit and I'll buy some new weird you know, like ad style
glasses and stuff, and yeah, I think that'll have to happen as the
notorian. I'll bring and I'll bring uh, I'll bring a number of syringes.
Oh, turn them out to the boys. Yeah, maybe we'll go.
Maybe we'll go visit the U the field House where they used to take
TV before we take the stage. Anything, you know, I I think
I think, uh, WrestleMania is always a good chance to take a pill
cormage. I think you're exactly right. So uh, you know, make
it, make like the notorious former Philadelphia mayor Rizzo that we just heard from
Rizzo, and get down there and don't be a crumb bum. Okay,
don't be a crumb I help you know that guy is the lapsed editor basically,
oh totally. I mean you gotta look at this guy. This guy's
fucking money in the bank. I mean, this guy is America. He's
like you know, friends of Eddie Coyle era. Yeah, fucking you know.
He lives in like this incredible mansion but just runs like the biggest scheme
going ye, big city scheming, and America he's he is, He's the
American dream. His statue came down, ours goes up. April seventh,
Let's forget all the rules of this great country we live in and let's commence
for a one of a kind Bozo's Biceps and bullshit brunch. You decide which
switch. It's all so excited for that, and also, in the spirit
of TLX, we must tip our cap here to all of the rock solid
members of the Solar System over at the Lapsed power Plant were coming off of
International LATS Day, which took place January twentieth on X on Patreon. As
members of the Solar System who have created and managed and overseen an incredible transcription
archive of the show's history. It doesn't get more tlf X than this.
Manned the controls for twenty four hours and took requests from all over the Solar
System to search the archives and find time codes and episodes of some of your
favorite moments. And what a joy it was to scroll through and see just
how esoteric and weird some of people's like can I tell you? And also
again to just kind of like jog my memory about things, because we always
talk about how shit just goes in and out, Like you know, it's
very rare that something leaves a mark on me that I'm like, oh yeah,
to the point where whenever I've had to make a kind of like a
highlight reel or something, or you know, I'm always like, what's good?
Yeah, what do we What did we do? That's good? And
that's funny. And one that really stuck out, I don't know, did
you go and did you find some of the ones. I didn't go back
and play anything that wasn't already embedded in X, but I did recall a
time stuff I'd forgotten just reading the text I went out. There were a
couple that I went out, And the one that really that really was a
highlight for me was it was from the w BF show Yep, and we
were and I guess that, you know, Luger had gotten in the accident,
and the I guess the doctor that he was, the first doctor he
saw, said that it's likely they're gonna have to amputate his arm. Oh
my god. And we had a whole fucking thing with like, you know,
Jim Hurd coming in having an idea about having him be Captain Hook and
then and then then the doctor. So then you know, Lucer's like you
know, I want to get another opinion. I don't want to have my
arm amputated. And so he gets a hold of doctor Jim Andrews and he's
gonna he's gonna transfer there, and the doctor, the doctor he's like,
you know, he's current doctor keeps saying like, you're not going to Jim
Andrews, you know, with your arm intact. It's like it's are like
I've been paying to make sure you don't leave this hospital with an arm,
Like you're you're losing an arm one way or another. Okay, you're getting
out of here with both arms. Fucking amazing. I was fucking dying.
I was like, this is so crazy, Oh my god, absurd.
There's so many of those like we did what we said, Oh my god,
and people are just like, you know, sometimes it's like something one
of us said, it's just ten seconds. It's just in a side,
some stupid fucking pun we made or something. Oh my god, so fun.
I could never probably mention them all here the ones that impacted me.
But if you were watching our x account and the responses to the you know,
the post that they put out the call far and wide for time code
requests and this is all building towards something very formal that we're going to be
presenting as part of our TLX celebrations here TLFX celebrations, So look forward to
that. But man, just to see those unfold, see the threads unfold
on Patreon, and to see people realize that, like there are so many
people as passionate about the podcast as you are. There are so many people
as you know what I mean, they're almost like they're hesitant to acknowledge like
that these little, completely pointless moments mean a lot to them. Yep,
yep. But when something like the International LATS Day comes along, everybody realize.
Everyone sort of comes out of the shadows, you know. It's like
they emerge from they emerge from underground and see sunlight, you know, for
the first time in a long time. And that's one of many things we're
proud to bring you as a result of the cast. It's just proof of
concept, you know. Whenever people get a little cute and suggesting that we
go too far and talking about what this podcast is and what it means to
people, an event like International LATS Day slaps them back on their heels and
reminds them this is a mighty, mighty contingent that we're talking about here,
and it is very idea of all of podcasting as it should be. So
we've got a great note here as far as who to thank and how this
all came together. Great thanks goes to Carlo Stallion, Big Steve, Chris
Kreva, Austin King, Saliver Goose Hudson and Mike from the UK for their
exceptional help and making Lat's day go round. These are all people just on
the keyboard all day, all twenty four hours, I mean all day looking
up time codes. I'm amazed at that. I'm absolutely amazed at the Yeah,
the patients and the and the endurance that requires. Yeah, And just
like you have to share the enthusiasm of the person looking for the time code,
you know you can't. That's what's great is the person looking forward is
just as excited to find it as you are, because they want to show
that this LATS thing is incredible and that you know that I if I was
organized by the Lapsed power Plant and Solar System. Members who would like to
get involved and various other lapsed projects can contact the Lapsed Powerplant at gmail dot
com. The Lapsed Powerplant at gmail dot com from an address they don't mind
using for group communication. And extraordinary thanks goes to Martin from Scotland and a
particular listener in the Southern United States for their incredible efforts and helping create the
transcript database way back when the three of us were looking up from the foot
of the Lapsed Archive mountain and didn't even know where to place our first step.
Lats Lats, Ladies and Gentlemen operates on a donation basis and is currently
two hundred dollars in the hole and getting deeper every month, even though there
are now more than one hundred users. So if Lapsed fans value the database
and want to financially support its existence and maintenance, they can visit Patreon dot
com, slash lats lats and pledge in whatever denomination they see fit. There
are no added benefits for patrons, but the database already benefits the entire lap
solar system and deserves its support, and I think I think the proof is
in on that front. I agree. Yeah, do you agree? Amazing?
I said Wikipedia, You know, like, yep, you're just doing
it because you could never do it justice without a little bit of money to
throw around for software and logistics and things. So please do consider supporting the
cause and getting getting a peek into what LATS is all about. Folks,
you got to believe me when I tell you that this is not something we
set in motion. Okay, No, these things happen organically. You know.
It's like we're yeah, we're probably shooting the nutrients downstream that hit the
soil and form you know, the growth over time, but we don't realize
it. But there's stuff happening, oh of course. Yeah no, no,
not at all there And there's also seat sprouting at Patreon in general on
our Patreon, patreon dot com slash lapsman. We're coming up on the Rumble,
boss, no better time. Oh boy, get that live call.
Get that rumble. Always fun, always disappointing, although you know it would
happen to Seth. No, what happens is blew his knee out out of
mania. Fuck. Yes, ah, they acted, they're acting like him
versus Punk was the main event. Ah, Punk win's the Rumble and chooses
the world title instead. You're ready for that? Oh my god, I
am so happy. I don't know what they're gonna do instead. I mean
to be fair, we are recording this before he takes the ring to make
the announcement. But it seems pretty clear that that's what's gonna happen. Just
really, please he blew is me out again on Raw Wrestling Gender Mahal because
he's an idiot. That's why he was just going to on his phone.
No, no, he's not doing his job. He's an idiot. Come
on, he's a fucking idiot. Liner. It's gonna get a fucking you
know, his wife's gonna divorce him any minute, one of them. He's
a idiot, one of the finest of our generation. No he's not.
He's one of the worst. So do join us to see what they do
and pivot to that. And you know it wouldn't be a big, big
w w p l E without some last minute, fucking unscheduled emergency throwing coursing
into a tizzy. Go what was it? Some who could like what happened
one year not too not not not not too long ago, where there was
a big change right around the rumble. Maybe it was the day one pay
per view, I don't remember when when something happened and all of a sudden
brock Lesnards winning championships again. Yeah, what else when you panic? Brock
will be back now, Yeah, exactly, Brock will win the world title
and beat him. He'll beat him to god. So it's silly season around
here. Oh and this is, by the way, you know, pretending
that Seampunk isn't going to tear something before Mania two. Oh God, absolutely,
the come on, folks. So so really this is I'll tell you
what, you know, what I can tell exactly what he's gonna tear before
WrestleMania. It's going to be his contract, one could say. So join
us for the live call every month we hit the modern w W premium live
events, so you don't have to walk it through match by match with our
live call perspective the lapse perspective, if you will, and very much look
forward to doing that throughout the course of twenty twenty four. Will be of
course on the ground for WrestleMania forty in Philadelphia as just mentioned, so we'll
bring you that a live college as well as our live event on Sunday,
April seventh at noontime Punchline, Philly. And just a quick shout out as
far as the Patreon goes to the Mote tier occasionally to make sure to carve
out some time to tip our cap to those who give a very high denomination
over at Patreon, our richest tier folks who do it not because there's a
lot in it for them necessarily. There is some like the exclusive Wrestle Mammia
Show with JP's absolutely going very very strong and coming up in episode one hundred.
If I'm not mistaken, that'll be this year. Yeah, later on
this year will be will be episode one hundred with some nice surprises there for
sure, truly amazing what's happened? Yeah? Yes, oh my god,
I mean actually with this one, trying to see what will have been?
I think, what's what's what they just saw? If I'm not mistaken,
it should be the uh, the Rumble, the uh the the God Almighty,
the nineteen eighty nine Royal Rumble. I believe. My mom and I
watched, Oh wow, the whole match. Yeah, that's pretty cool,
I believe. So Yeah, I got I got to hear Bushwhackers versus Beverly
Brothers from Rumbled that was more recent yet, yeah, and Legion Doom versus
Natural Disasters from Rumble ninety two, as well as Cactus for Triple h Rumble
two thousand of the most. It was a rumble, It was a rumble
month, and I believe Yeah, the next one should be nine Royal Rumble
Match, available exclusively to members of the Moat Tire. It's like being back
in the living room carpet again with your parents in the peanut gallery talking shit
about being a wrestling fan. But Mama Sarrow has just a one of a
kind way of doing it, a gentle We was, oh my gosh,
very straightforward, way, very very very very very uh honest and endearing way.
So to the mote tier. We tip our cap. We're talking about
Abel Lettier, Aiden, Kevlahan, Andy Toff, Andy yellenich Arion, Austin
King, Salver, Austin Tyson Better believe it. Wow right Downing, Brad
Brandon, Kaiser, Brendan Moe, Brian Blake, Brian Hinz, Chris Harris,
Christopher Creva, Chuck Pliacio cold Stone, Steve Austin, David camin Ester,
David Style, Dennis Owen's, Dominic Carrera, Doctor Wiz, Pip and
Gabe Yoakum and Hal Cogan, An Intern, Matt and James Irwin and Jim
Rocco and Justin Davenport and Justin Harmon and Kevin Mills and Christopher Craig and Luth
Renoli and Lewis Perez and Lucky Lagucci and Mark Daper and Martin Ferguson and Marty
Longhurst and Michael Taylor and Mike chespl and Juan and Monti Davis Junior and Paul
the Saints Fan Graham Pedro Rios, Pete Cozy and Peter Rustling and r Ronaldi
and Robert Holtz Hammer and Ryan bo Am Fairbanks and Sammy Conduit and Scott Michael
Ferry and Sean McGear and Stephen Laird Thomas at Nacio the top lead leaguer league
leader Tom as Well straight up Tom Vernon Simosa, who we're very glad to
welcome to the Motier recently joined William Murphy and Zach Madrass. Folks, if
these were the only people who listened to the Lapsed Fan podcast, we would
do it, and we would do it with just as much enthusiasm as we
view it today because those are our rider dies and we can't let too many
weeks go without reminding folks that there are people that believe in it that much
and We're humbled and for many geographically, we expect to see you April seventh.
That would be wonderful to see you there. We're a mote badge to
the punchline Philly, so we know that you're of a higher level. But
this is this is exciting times. TLFX is off to a rip roaring start
on so many fronts and rounding third and the lapsed Funk is no exception.
So we need to go to the shore nineteen ninety seven Royal Rumble in San
Antonio when Terry Funk, despite being portrayed as the Savior and Messiah VCW is
sure to take a Vince McMahon pay off amidst all of that and go work
the rumble real quick. You want to hit and got involved in a few
things even ahead of the rumble. You remember a shotgun, right boss,
vaguely. I I never watched it. I remember that it was I remember
that it was supposed to be edgy. It was supposed to be kind of
danky and and run down and just like basically no rules, you know,
just kind of anything goes a very a very you know, anarchic type of
the atmosphere. Yeah, they wanted nightclubs they wanted, you know, it
was it was in syndication. It wasn't unnational cable, so it was you
know, depending on where you lived in the country and what the syndicated clearance
they had was. Just like in the old Superstars and Challenge days, you
might not always be able to see it live if the right you know,
the market in your if the station in your market had something else going on
at that time slot, but they broadcasted live and that was tricky enough.
But they would go to like bars, and they would go to nightclubs,
and they would go to these smaller intimate venues that basically looked like ECW house
shows to me, and and you know, they would have, like you
said, a little more edge to it, and it was like a and
then they have like a tiny ring. It wasn't even like a full sized
ring. You know. I don't know about that part of it. It
would make sense if the ring was smaller because the buildings were smaller. I
feel like I feel like I remember seeing like an episode that was smaller,
the ring was smaller. Maybe I'm maybe I'm crazy. I don't know.
Well, I remember one episode I think it was the very first Shotgun.
To create some buzz, they had Marlene I get up on the apron during
a Golddust match with it, I think against Triple H with their back to
the camera and flash him yes, and it was like they were tits and
WWF and everyone got excited about that. But she had pastes on. Yeah,
they did remember that. You know, still remember that someone in the
building took and she had paste and it was It ended up being in one
of the aftermags. I remember that. Oh a picture of that? Really?
Yeah? Yeah, I wonder why you remember that? Is that a
sticky page? Yeah? You know, at one point I couldn't separate the
page. I couldn't find anymore because it was just the too sticky man.
Couldn't separate the real from the fake. That's your damn right, who can
fair Warning ready? Disc twenty eight. Disc twenty eight because as part of
this Shotgun Saturday Night concept, they booked a buildings very small, intimate sort
of cowboy bar called Denim and Diamonds in San Antono, where Steve Austin was
going to be there. He wrestled Goldust on the show, and you know,
of course it being pay per view, it's part of the lead up
to the brumble, Jim Ross is there, Vince mcmahonnor there in the announced
position, and what the hell right, let's flavor it up a little bit
and let's bring in the Funker. Yeah, of course. And if we're
trying to recreate the feel and no one will admit this at Titan, but
they're trying to recreate the feel of E. C W, let's bring in
mister ECW himself, Terry Funk and so on the January eighteenth watch. I
don't even know what an ECW is. I'm simply I'm simply trying to create
a different, you know, a new concept, a new entertainment concept.
You know. We you know, we're trying to really basing it off of
a more of a Saturday Night Live edgy sort of thing. And you know,
we're we're trying to disrupt the wheelhouse, you know with this and kind
of at a kind of go at it with a holistic approach, uh,
and to create a content not a macro cyclic approach. Well, now,
you know, I believe at this, for this, we wanted to do
more holistic and uh, you know, to to to to to really you
know, create you know, asks for the fans. You know, what
exactly is it that they want? What are the things you know we want?
We actually want to partner with our with our fans many ways for next
gen game changing influential cybernetic content. Don't we all Easier said than done?
Vince cybernetic content, Get the fuck out. It wasn't Cybernetico and the Rumble
that year, I think, so speaking of what, Yeah, they reached
the alliance with Triple A to bring in a flurry of lucadors. God,
you knew, you knew, you knew the roster was shit. When they're
suddenly fucking bringing in the luchadors in the minis too, remember Minni Vager and
Muscri de Sogrodod. It was quite a time in the Federation rule. And
so yes, it's part of building up the buzz. Let's bring the funker
in, Let's put him on this live shot. Not even like you know,
I'm not trying to shit the on the Lucha libras. But but it
wasn't even like the really because all the good ones were over in WCW right
very much so. And that's why you know, they had some really talented
ones that came in. It's just a question of why did you do it.
You did it because w CW has cruiserweight division. That's part of its
different and so you try to match them there. And you had it also
because you know, being a border town San Antono, maybe we can draw
some Oh, sure, that's true. The fires over the border not a
bad play. I get where they did it, but it always felt whenever
WW have tried light heavyweight or Luca, just seems so tacked on. It
seems such a yeah, you know, such a half hearted attempt to match
what was, you know, one of the more dynamic parts of the w
W show, which of course, in its own right was almost wholly imported
from ECW in terms of where a lot of those Lucadors first got their their
prime experience the United States, from Ray Mysterio on down. So we're calling
in the Funker and he's going to have a live mic, and Vince McMahon's
going to be there, And do you think Terry Funk's going to take the
opportunity to say some things about Vince McMahon that he always wanted to be able
to say with a live microphone in his hand. Yes, better believe it.
So go to two O five ten two five ten and actually let me
what's that? Which one is it? Which? Let me mix this up.
Actually, let me do something different than that, Vivie. I'm going
to send you a link to Daily Motion. And the reason I'm going to
do this is because, in fact, the version that we've been working working
off of for our videos on the series has this segment. However, it
hasn't muted. Oh as far as yeah, let me pause that, as
far as you know, some of the some of the language Terry uses,
and ah, the whole magic is in the fact that he was using this
language on the live WWF broadcast, of course, and so fortunately for us,
this moment where he comes into the ring on Shotgun Saturday Night lives unedited
on Daily Motion. So give me a second. Here, that's a surprise.
I know you'd be in a rummer tomorrow. Why that's a surprise.
I know you know Texas legend. Here we go, Terry, my goodness,
Terry fuck is here? Why that's a surprise. I know you'd be
in the rummer tomorrow about paper here, Jerie, want to tell me what
the hell? Terry clinks? Look at him? Are the all Cora.
Wow, look at that son of a bitch. No, no, no,
no. He might be from Texas, but out of Texas, old
son, I hold the state. Yeah, is he a legend? Yeah,
let's listen to him run his back trap. This is my state.
Wrong, this is wrong, wrong in the heart of Texas. Wrong.
Where I wanna be bet Gale, This is where I wanna Benna be there
by everybody out here knows. And I'm a windmill and pile driving, neck
breaking, back breaking bear huggins and knee dropping hold on, son of a
son of a gun. Let's a laugh and more dangerous than our hallow lines.
I'm ready to rumbo, and that means he's ready to take you on.
Stone Goad, Austin. I got a couple of knuckle sandwiches I brought
with me. I'll just feed those tongue. If you cross, do not
cross. One going to be in that ring? What number am I going
to be? Number one? Where am I going to be? Twenty nine?
Would be number fifteen? If you be number five, doesn't it?
Nobody knows the hell Todd Patton Gill, by the way, and look at
him, Look at him. Oh yeah, he's in full of fact.
First man, George Butch and the represented is of Texas. What has they
played me as a Texas member? I want to start What the fuck is
he talking about in the rumble? I want to start that rumble, not
tomorrow night. How about on one sided rumble with you right now? Pett
and Dale throw your carcassist Tombo with dude with you. Is there somebody else
out there? I am looking for anybody. Don't look too far as a
person that wants with me. There's not a person who let him in with
me, not a person in a W seat. I'll be on w suckings
comeback and we apologize. Lait enough for me. I'm looking around here.
Where's this big man looking? Oh? I realize this is life, heyn
face, give me the microphone. How about rumbling with you? Your mother
is a hard shut up the wind, you rumble a little good? You
want to rumble? Bendale? No, No, you don't very anybody O
God enjoy you legendary asshole. Fuck shot ser and I think we apologize for
some of those. Remarkably Harry fuck has just five of those homes to be
Boston. He's wasting time. He's calling you out. Steve Boston got you
you whyn't you just cool your jets there, mister Austin, Wait a minute,
he's leaving the ring of course a man no cost to god rel Son.
You ain't that stupid? Yeah, and he's here in the fact,
so wait a minute. Uh honly gonna hit physic man, Yes, shoving.
Vin's gonna come my yar tabs son. Okay, okay, all right,
all right, all rights, very fun ladies. Head gentlemen, taking
it bad, you'll get a knock of service. I got over with those
Jared coll taps. Lay down the gun for you. You ain't got to
lay down for me. Son, I'll knock your ass down. You better
get back in the ring. I'm gonna caupt the three. Look, he
already started walking. That's what I figured. That's what I figured too.
I'll meet come out here trying to call my bluff, and I'm a little
smarter than that. Son. Look at him. He thinks he's really special.
It's a complete idiot. He's an icon. Listen, he's a jackass.
He's going bottle. He's in jackass. Kerry fight guy, You'm gonna
put up a this trap man, Wells side to Terry fumps. Show shot
done, Coach Steve Aston headed back to the locker. Now wait a minute,
right, hang off, wait a minute, gone, Coach Steve Austin.
What's he doing now? He's coming to fight and folk very he's not.
He's going back to the locker room getting Oh he is. He's coming
right into the rag yellow ropes. By the way he slapped Funk slapped Austin.
Look at him, face to face his money godsh Austin, Terry,
Yes, yes, boom, oh, of course he does. And he's
swinging outside again. Hold, that's tremendous. What do you think of that?
I love it? I love it. I fucking love nervous vincig man.
Right, there's this combination of like, we gotta play into it because
it's Funk being funk, it's live TV. But at the same time,
we got to also pretend that he's not infuriating us by how long he's going,
by the language he's using. I'm not even sure, and I'm surprised
this has never been clarified historically. I'm not even sure he was supposed to
confront Steve Austin because Steve Steve reacts like he's been putting the spot and like
he knows he can't get up because he's not supposed to, yep. So
he's trying to find a way to like explain why why he wouldn't immediately get
up and kick this guy's ass, and then he does it. Anyway,
what it's clear that Funk is going to go back into the ring and keep
talking, right, So it makes me think someone's in his headset or maybe
Vince has given him the high sign off off Mike to go in and throw
some rights because Funk will arrest nothing so tremendous. Let him in the door.
Man, he's gonna do shit like that, and he's gonna put a
paperbag on somebody's head, you know what I'm saying. He's gonna do it,
and he's he's gonna, you know, someone's gonna get hurt. Pretty
amazing, and that that was Terry Funk's returned to WWF television for the first
time since nineteen eighty six. J Jesus, there he is running absolutely fucking
wild on a shotgun Saturday night. And let's hear Bruce Pritchard on Something to
Wrestle with talk about you know, the shotgun concept and how one of his
all time favorites, Terry Funk, fit in. I called Terry and I
asked Terry, hey, would you like to be in the rumble? Of
course he did. In addition to that, we're gonna be doing a live
Shotgun Saturday Night, which was a syndicated television show that we did on Saturday
nights at midnight in air, live across the country. Oh that sounds like
that. Terry was the first person at Diamonds and Dallas that day. He
said in what was the makeshift dressing room, had his bag there, share
all kicked back and feed up, and I walked in. He got out,
and I gave Terry a hug and said, good to see you,
man, Love you. He sat back down and he says, what are
we doing tonight? Richard's Night Off Terry. I'm gonna work with Brett,
have hell of a match. Let's get him over and uh a little promo
beforehand. But all I ask of you, this is live and or we're
everywhere. I know it's late night, but we're live, live, and
we got a lot of eyeballs on us. Please just watch your language.
No hells, no, goddamns no ship during this episode of Jesus looks at
me as all laying backs. Did Junor send you in here to tell me
that? Jor and I laughed listen. Vinced mentioned to me and please talk
to you about it? But it was on my checklist. Is it's just
we can't do it? Terry, Oh damn Prichard. I don't worry about
me, so all right, just and I minded him right before he went
out, all right, please watch your language. I think you called Vince
a Yankee bastard, Jim Ross and Oklahoma son of a bitch say that,
but okay, and then turned the Brent and I understand getting Todd Petton Gill
confused with Brett Hone to you never happened this ship shot again Saturday night,
I say, Terry funk. So yeah, we had thrown off the air
for those comments. I think we had a goddamn in there. I think
we had everything that I asked him not to do he did. And there's
one point in the match where they had the big troughs the beer you know
on ice, like you know, old fashioned washtubs, and at one point
he grabs me and put me in it. And the ice and the water
and the beer, he remembering I didn't have a change clothes, so a
lot there. But I choose to believe that the interactions he had before the
show with Terry Funker one hundred percent accurate because they're hilarious. But I can't
go with First of all, the Shotgun got canceled. I mean after this
one in January eighteenth. There was one on January twenty fifth from Webster Hall
in New York City. There was one on February first at the Mirage Night
Club in New York City. There was one on February eighth at Penn Station
in New York City, right, and then I think that's when they switched
to doing it in arena like tapings, and for years Shotgun was just like
a fucking syndicated series of matches with mid carters. Right after that, but
if they got canceled because of Terry Funk, it certainly took them a long
time to get around. Actually, it doesn't make any sense unless they have
some kind of a weird contract with them maybe and they were like, you
know you won't you know, you said you'd give us at least this many
episodes live and in the way we wanted. So Pal, I believe that
that you that that this is the way that it goes, although I don't
know how that works in syndication. I mean, they who doally have a
deal with well every station every New York so five, you know, and
maybe maybe maybe someone did cancel them and then but they had all other you
know, maybe yeah, maybe just uh, some markets continue to carry them
and some didn't. I don't know. But it's funny that he mentions Brett
Hart there not because you Brett clearly wasn't there. He clearly wasn't the person
that said your mother is a whore too. There's the main event of us
on that show of Steve Austin, and I think it was gold Dust,
right, we'll take a double look here, Yeah, at gold Dust And
at the end Terry comes out and continues to brawl with Steve Austin and they
do more hygiens. But but you know, does uh does does Todd Pett
and Gill like, does he does he come out as a sex offender on
this one? No? He does. He looks like it, and he's
just smiling along. He's loving Terry. God, he looks so stupid.
With his with his buzz cut and uh and his goatee. Now, like
he just looks like a like a p Do you prefer that one to the
the slip back here in a ear ring or I I prefer there's like a
middle ground. He has like normal hair and no earring and just you know,
just doesn't fucking you know, he's just he's he's just normal annoying.
But this no, this is this is it. He's trying to make the
look happen on top of it. Yeah, like, dude, you're not
to stop right whenever Son tries to make a look happen, it's offensive.
It's really amazing how long he stood with the company, really is he's a
survivor man, you know how to thread that angle with Vince like the way
that I mean he was there from ninety three until ninety eight. Amazing,
just bizarre, And don't forget, you know, when we're looking at stone
Cold here, we're still looking at a guy that the audience is kind of
getting to know. Yeah, yeah, this is not stone Cold. Yet
he hadn't even won the first rumble, which when he did win it,
he was like a total underwent the next the next one the next that's that's
it. The rumbled that he was going in right, and so that's Steve
Austin that confronts Terry Funk is not one that the audience yet has really said
like yeah, man, stone cold fuck yeah, Like that's a heel getting
in there and throwing punches on. Yeah. Yeah, I mean this is
this is just after the first match with Brett, and you know he's definitely
he's definitely you know, uber heel. Well, Austin you know, expressed
a great degree of respect for Terry when he had him on his podcast years
and years later. It is a program that we never really got to see,
you know, Austin and Funk, but that that that wouldn't have excited
me in the day, but it would certainly excite me now. Yeah,
it would be great to look back on. But this is going to have
to do for the closest we got to because Steve Austin's about to shoot stratospheric
and Terry Funk's about to leave the WWF Yeah, just as quick as he
got there after the rumble. And so throughout nineteen ninety seven, Funk goes
back to ECW of course, wins the world title, at the first pay
per view barely legal in April. As we've talked about here in the lapsed
Funk and you know, continues to be a key fixture of VCW scene through
nineteen ninety seven. But it's funny that Pritchard mentioned spread Heart because by the
time we get around to September, there's a little business to be done down
in old A Marilla. And anybody who's yeah, Matt knows about this.
It's the fifty years of Funk, you know, kind of retirement show for
Terry Funk where he goes back to the sports arena and just calls on all
it's called contacts in Amarilla and tries to do one last big house. It's
it's the it's the dentist stamp moment. It's where the Dennist stamp moment comes
from. That's right, Terry. I'm not booked. I'm not booked,
Terry, Terry, I'm not but I can't do anything again. I'm not
booked exactly. But I want you to come in to be a real honor.
I really want you to be there. I want you to refee the
match. I'm asking I want you to referee the match. I'm please,
I'm asking, I'm begging you. I'm on my knees, I'm walking away
from you. But I'm begging to Dennis. And I'm serious about this.
But Terry, I can't referee if I'm not booked. I'm trying, Dennis.
I'm Dennis. I'm trying to book you. I'm trying to book your
hell, but I'm not booked. I'm halfway. I understand, But can
I try? I want to do it now. I want to book you,
but I got plans? What plans? I don't know? Well,
Terry, I have to understand the way I talk. There's no difference between
I'm pretending and I do. So when I say I have plans, what
I merely mean is I pretend I have plans. I'm pretending I have plans
that I can cancel in a moment. I want you to cancel them.
I'm gonna book you for a past and Brett, I want there, Come
on, I want you to do it. I can't. I'm not booked.
Could you go ahead and book the Son of a Bitch? Honey?
Can you? Can you get the Son of a Bitch booked? For God's
sake? Put him in a book? Write him in a book. Yeah,
that's when he gets back to the office, like a mile away from
Dennis Stamp. I mean, Jesus Triticky, can you book Dennis Stamp.
I'm in the I'm just trying to get the guy in referee the goddamn match
has a favor to me, and he's talking about not being booked. I
don't even know if the hell that means. Can you find a book for
this son of a bitch. I've been in the business fifty years. I
don't even know what language he's speaking. I want a head and I want
to head and decided I don't even know my own language. Vigory, what
the fuck am I saying? Vic Venom's like, huh, wrestling Terry.
So you know this is a key moment of Beyond the mat They followed Terry
back to his hometown and his retirement show, and he pulls all the old
tricks to fill a house at Amarillo one last time. Of course, the
territory is long gone and long dead, but the Funk name still carries a
lot of reverence in that city. In that West Texas city Panhandle, a
stronghold of the Funker still living on the double cross. The family you know,
of course, has depicted in the film the daughter's getting married. He's
very much a man of the community, and he's got still enough widespread respect
and reverence in the business that he can pick up the phone and he can
get WWF Champion Brett Hart to come to Amarillo and wrestle him in the main
event one on one, and Brett does not bat an eye. And if
you wonder why, we'll turn to a couple of sources. First, Boss,
please share with us the passages from Brett Hart's book about working the special
event for a very special wrestler in Terry Funk. Dorry Funk Junior had asked
me a couple of months earlier if I'd mind working with Terry for his retirement
match and I am Maarillo on a big card build as fifty years of Funk
mind. I had said that I'd be honored, and Dorry said that Terry,
who like many of the old school boys, had retired only to return
again and again, actually meant it this time que crickets, Oh totally.
So after Toronto I connected with I connected through Dallas where I caught a charter
to Amori. Jesus what do you get a fucking a flight travel plan from
Kevin Nash? And why did he have to call Dallas Page to reach Terry
Funk? Anyway, Uh, I got you the door. I caught a
charter to Amarillo that was packed with the remnants of v c W. I
don't understand that. I was when you when you say the remnants. Isn't
that when something is gone, something's left behind? Yes? Left behind?
Like and why would Amarillo have the remnants of e c W? Very strange,
got nothing to do with Amarillo at all. I looked at the heads
of the young wrestlers, bandages hiding their gig marks, and they reminded me
of my old stampede days. I had a bad flu, but couldn't miss
such a significant night. I crawled out of bed and drove to the fair
grounds, where I met up with Stu and Bruce and with Saddenity. Hear
from them that Fritz van Erik had died of cancer. I'm okay, so
much information that is just being thrown away. He's just like toss and shit
like I mean, I don't know. Some of these deserve their own fucking
paragraphs, like you know, And in many ways the Funk Show was like
traveling back in a time machine. Dory and Terry were old school pros who
kindly conducted business the way it always had been done. Japanese reporters swarmed all
over as Dorry led me down down back hallways to a room where he gave
me and Terry are finished in great detail. I was happy to put put
up, to put the title up against Terry, but Addison distance he wanted
to be, he'd wanted, he wanted to put me over, even though
it was his retirement match. Well that's just what we do, you know,
you put the young guy over. The Amarillo fans were so fired up
about my anti American heel status that I feared for Stu, who was sitting
at ringside. The special referee was Dennis Stamp, the big lanky wrestler who'd
given me one of my first matches back in Amarillos so long ago. Wow,
when it was over, I didn't know that that's crazy. When it
was over, I was so sick. I had to crawl back to bed
before Terry could even thank me. Hey, hitman, where'd you go?
You know what? He I think I'm gonna put us in front of hitman
from now on. Yeah, yeah, guy skipped town. Didn't even fucking
say let me say thank you to him. He's a shit man. Red
Hart taking the time in the middle of his WF terrain to fly to Amarilla
and work Terry Funk on a car with a bunch of ECW guys and stuff.
It's really yeah, it was really remarked. I amost couldn't believe what
I was reading when I saw what Brett was up to that week. Yeah.
Yeah, but that such was the respect and reverence that Terry Funk had
way back in our NWA World Championship episode when we talked about Terry as the
traveling World Champion from seventy five seventy six, Calgary was a key stop and
he developed a really strong bond with a heart family upon visiting Calgary and defending
in the territory, and a lot of the kids looked up to him and
cross paths with him over the years, and this was the culmination of that.
In a lot of ways, it goes back and also to ninety five.
We mentioned this when we were breezing through Terry Funk and ECW, but
one of the detours he made internationally was to work stew Heart's fiftieth anniversary show.
So in a lot of ways, this was reciprocation for that that took
place December fifteenth, nineteen ninety five. You'll remember we've talked about this as
the show where Brett Haart wrestled Davey Boy before he wrestled them at the In
Your House that year, and they had you know, Chris ben wa versus
Rad Radford and a WC WWF match and all of that. But among the
features that night are on our disc twenty seven if you can ready that as
Terry and Dorry formed, you know, one of the more vaunted tag teams
of the modern era went up to Calgary to face off against the dynamic team
of Heart family member Bruce Hart and Brian Pillman, so the Loose Cannon crossing
paths with the Funker as well. There were nineteen ninety five to we take
quick sample. It's not a long match, but it was. It went
down as one of the more impactful and buzzed about matches on this big tribute
to Stu Heart card where the Prime Minister came through of Canada and all kinds
of dignitaries. It was a huge occasion for Stu Heart. They're put on
by the Calgary folks, and we're going to take a look at some of
the ways that Terry did favors for the Heart family and thus was paid back
in full upon his calling it a career at Amarillo, or at least we
thought in nineteen ninety seven. So boss, if you want to go to
one nineteen thirty four, we'll be ready to rock. Okay, the Heartfelt
performing two and three two one. They come ed wheeling on the call.
Checks your story, crowd, it's Terry funked it over the crowd. Dor.
He doesn't even know where he is. John jacking with Pilman a ringside
look at him. They eye bad company. Bruce Hart and Brian Pillman.
I don't you know, I didn't even I didn't Terry, Terry, what
do Terry? What? Wow? Terry, it's even Terry. I just
I don't where are we doing, Terry. There's a big fat man in
the I don't even know what's the big fat man doing on the ring.
He's making me nervous, Terry, Terry, I gotta go home, Flash
Harry, take me home. Bruce Heart takes on the funker here goes Terry,
Oh, ship, you always wanted him to sell for Bruce, didn't
you, boss? Oh the dream of mine? Shots, look at him,
look at it. He ends up saying, how seated on the middle
rope, Terry, look at Bruce hard? What a dufis? A rocking
horse? Spot from the funker? Here ass in the middle rope, hands
gripping the top, ye back and forth like as he saw or yo yo,
yeah, happy eightieth birthday. Here's a tag. Get me starting on
head whiling, double whammy. There, I'll think what my pants? Oh?
Funker grabs a headlock on pilmean and kicks him in the nuts. I
could have sworn that a young lady touched my penis dory, looking like a
lady in the nursing home who just came out of the shower. Head mom,
I know, Sunny, well, you know they didn't bring my My
chains are closed, Terry, I got, Terry, I got? Where's
my nightgown? Terry, Terry, my nightgown? A fucker's grabbing at Whaling's
table. Can you find me a nightgown? Please? Will need a nightgown
for my pants. There's pants. He's grabbed the table. Indeed, ed
who's that fucking chubby motherfucker O Jesus, Pillman sent sailing over the table and
hit his head on the guardrail. Let just see Terry Funk. Who else
Terry's in Canada? Boss, ring it ding Dong is rugged, ring ding
Dong a souplex. Oh, Pilman out of the table and it collapses.
That's why you bring it the funker right there? Yeah, I don't think
they're ready for that. Ninety five in Canada, No rolled back in his
Pilman. Dory Funk with the lateral press gets two and a half. Pillman's
still in the fight and oh seven eighths excuse me at will, it'll taste
of stampede here boss, or such as it was in ninety seven, big
double arm butterfly superplex by Dory Funk to the float over on. Pilman gets
too in another kickout. You know they had uh uh Terry, Terry,
Terry, my my hair, My hair just isn't working for me. Terry,
can you please, can you please? Well you are dorn what HI
laid vertical nicely done by Dorry still had Terry. I hurt myself just there,
I really hurt myself. I need you to Oh god, Terry,
this young this youngster here, he's making me feel uncomfortable in my pants,
and so he tags out to the Funker comes Terry closing in like a fucking
but I'm gonna go ahead and hit a D d T on your ast.
Brian, Hey, Pillman, d d T. I'm gonna get too d
d T for two. This is his restaurant focus back got Funk, brothers
working together, doubles who play on order. Here, Bruce Bruce there.
For some reason, Bruce just needs all the attention. Isn't that it?
Bruce always needs to be the focus of attention. Bruce borrowing Owen Hart's nineteen
eighty six Nucan. There's a tagero, goes Bruce, and they're going crazy
for Bruce. He look at a bush, such a problem there to the
floor. Bruce sends Terry Funk into the table. This guy like still you
know, he still thinks he knows best. Still your Favorite and Survivors series
ninety three, right, Yes, he was. Would have been an occasion
where Terry Funk cross paths with Bruce Hart, because remember he was supposed to
be one of the Knights. That's true, Maybe not glory over to grab
Bruce another exchange. Bruce's duck about him? What about him is interesting myself?
He's such a loser. It's like the promoter of the family. He
was the one that actually wanted to like take over the office and book talent
and mind the family history and all that. Is that Robert Craft over there?
Hey, don't put it passing. Terry has got in color. Birthday,
Bruce. I'm gonna go ahead and get some color. Dunk, dunk.
I'm gonna get color. You should get color too, Terry. How
do I do that? Terry? Do I get? What do I do
to get color? Can you? Terry? Terry? Terry? What's the
next match? What's the next thing in the script? Terry's like, Dorry
funk works? What's next to the script? Terry? Did? Terry?
Can you let me know what moves are gonna happen next? Please? Terry
put the chair off his neck, threw it in the air, and it
landed on his own head. Bruce, I'm gonna go ahead and toss a
chair and let it hit me in the head. Just let it happen.
That's exactly what happened. Yeah, bunkers popping ed whale and my crazy you
can't keep a straight face. He's laughing. Lar Terry just gets so brilliant
and absurd. And Pillman, he's a nutcase. Is banging away. He's
banging away, ah Man, pill them before the accident. Look at the
move man. I know bro liven't middle ring pile driver on Terry funk Wow
spikes him tough. Kill them with the cover now, Dory quick to enter.
Are about as quick as he can Terry. Hey, Terry, I
saved you by kicking my guy in my head? Terry, you care to
keep reading the script out loud? Terry? I read, Terry, I
got the pages in my pants, and I decided to kick the guy in
the head. Did I do it? Ride? Terry, Terry. I'm
trying to work right now. John. We'll talk about it later, but
I gotta know what's I gotta know if I did? Okay, seeing all
this from the y at the top of this line from the apron at Terry
Terry, Terry, Terry, you gotta see the natch parts, like how
far away Harry is? Come on tack me, Okay, I'm coming in,
Terry. It's my turn. Oh God, Bruce attacking Terry. Bruce
is attacking me. Terry, I don't think that's that's in the script.
Clothes line by Bruce leaves his feet pups and cover one no funk played earlier.
All god Ell then cuts off Terry with a clothes line. It's getting
physical here in Calgary and it looks like can fly. Hey, Terry,
I can't breathe in the middle of the ring. I can't breathe in the
side of the ring. Top up splashed by Bruce. No FuG says,
story is that it kick out? Ah, I'm gonna try something. I
don't know if I can what us ship snap superlex by Bruce on dory.
Here comes Terry the chair missus c again. I'm gonna go ahead and take
a pick a chair. Terry. I don't know what saws to happen next.
Can you please can you help me out? Shot becomes Terry hell cracks
brookes across the back of the chair. Shot I want to had him smacked
him in the back of the head with a chair. L sounds as Terry
crowns Bruce with a chair. It's a disqualification all the way exactly where head
forget it. Oh my, you have Ben Bruce, I think I've been
through a war button. So there's Terry giving back to the Hearts and uh,
with that prelude, we need to turn now to Bruce Heart's book.
Boss. I know, one of your favorite volumes, one of your favorite
wrestling books ever published. But man does he delineate the history of the Funks
and the Hearts too with the great wrestling clans of all time? And you're
making me read it too? Fuck that? Are you kidding me? Of
course, give it to the people. Bruce Hart on Terry Funk Funk,
whose father Dory Senior, had a promotion down in West Texas, seemed to
be able to relate to us. What what does that mean? I guess
he's gonna explain it. So our wrestling family, both second generation, we
became pretty good friends, so much that he invited Dean and me to come
and visit him and his family down on Amarillo. I'm still not sure if
he was kidding or not, but we took him up on his offer and
set off that August along with my brother Brett for what would turn out to
be one of those coming of age type adventures, kind of like stand by
Me. That was the first time any of us had truly ventured beyond our
home turf retrospect. We were naive as hell as Dean Brett and I,
all of whom had long hair intended to be unabashed mark types, made our
way through these redneck states like Montana, Wyoming, Oklahoma, and Texas.
We ran into all kinds of hassles and near calamities with anally retentive truckers and
narrow minded misfits who seem to think we were draft dodgers or hippie radicals from
up north seeking to cause problems in the Land of the Free and the Home
of the brave. As only Bruce could put it, Yeah, what exactly
is an anally retentive trucker? How did you get enough time around him to
know it means retentive? I mean seriously, Like what I mean, I'm
assuming that we're having like a you know, Rambo situation like in First Blood,
where you know, he's he's there, they're being they're being mistreated because
they're drifters. I see that's what he's going for. But it's still like,
I mean, yeah, I don't know, it still seems so stupid,
Like what were you at what don't talk to the fucking trucker right,
leave them alone by your space, mind your mind, your own business,
you fucking idiot. Even though we endeavored to be as unobtrusive as possible,
because of the prevailing norms at the time, we were routinely refused service at
truck stops and restaurants along the way, and on a few occasions found ourselves
having to high tail it out of town with vigilantes and rednecks hot on our
tails. What did you do? I don't Yeah, you know, Bruce.
The problem is I don't believe you, Like, what did you do?
What? What I mean? You had to do something? You skip
the part when you took a ship in the guy's salad, right, You
skipped the cart where you pissed. Skipped the part where you where you hit
a woman and uh and her husband came to beat the ship out of you
because it was pissed. After having experienced on our way down to the Lone
Star State more high spots than a Ray Mysterio Jeff Hardy pay per view match.
That's enough of that, Bruce. Please? Have we finally arrived on
Dorry Junior's doorstep, wide eyed and eager to hook up with the Champagne.
Why did he spelt like that? He does that through the whole book.
We were chagrined when his wife, Jimmy informed us that he was still on
the road defending his strap in Florida. She said that his younger brother,
Terry, would entertain us in the meantime. That was the first time I
met Terry Funk, who was one of wrestling's legendary characters. Come back.
We can still talk him and Donk, but let me show you a couple
of things. Let me show you. I can you know what we can
do. We can go downstairs and we can maybe, uh, you know,
kind of have a grappling contest. What do you think of that?
I heard? You got your your old Your old man likes to take guys
downstairs stretch him. Is that right? To stretch him then make him make
him scream and waal just screaming, well without even being touched. So let's
see if we can work on that scream. Even Ed Whalen, he came
out to the house and invited us to tag along with him for a show
they they were having that night in Lubbock, the hometown of Buddy Holly and
the Crickets for all you rock music trivia types. Thanks Bruce. I count
myself among that group. I mean very nice of him to put that in
the book. Yes, yes, and especially the condescending remark afterwards. Given
Terry's superstar status at the time, that would be about like Tom Brady or
Peyton Manning asking some what behind the years young fans if they'd like to tag
along for some big game. We eagerly jumped in Terry's big buick Riviera,
the kind with the boat tail back back end. We were about to embark
on what would prove to be a memorable adventure, or should I say miss
adventure. Shortly after we set out, Terry pulled out a pouch of red
Man chewing tobacco and offered me a jaw back in Canada. I'd never seen
chewing tobacco before, much less used it, But since I didn't want to
appear to be a prude or a whimp, I took a big wad of
it and stuffed into my cheek. Not long after that, Terry began cussing
that his electrical system with malfunctioning. God, damn it, hey, you
know, damn it. The son of a bitch, the goddamn air conditioning,
the electrical systems malfunctioning. Do your sons of bitches from Canada not a
fixed mouth functioning electrical systems? Air conditioning, electrical windows? What the fuck
do you son of a bitches from Canada know how to fix malfunctioning electrical systems
electrical windows? What the fuck? They never can They never consult and terry
before making all these technological breakthroughs. No one asked him if you is okay
with it? Hey? Did you what to you? Some of the pitches
from Canada they're about to leave because Dunk's in home. Hey, hey,
hey, where the fuck you think you're going? I didn't see I didn't
say you could leave, say you could leave the ranch? Oh wait?
Oh well thanks. I don't let me tell you. They don't call this
the double cross range for nothing. I'm gonna double cross your asses. Well,
thank you, missus Funk. We appreciate it. I'm sorry to have
called it a bad time, but we'll come back some other time. We're
gonna be on the territory for a couple of weeks and hopefully we can meet
Dorri then Okay, thank you, Bye, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, I didn't say you could on the second floor. They're
walking down the stairs. You can hear like the noise of the gravel in
their cowboy boots, and then all of a sudden, from the second floor
window, Hey, hey, hey, I didn't say you could leave your
sons, the bitches, your Canadian focks. Hey, no fucking idea.
He's there. They don't even know who he is. What you think you're
doing up there, you fucking pieces of ship. Get your asses back in
a malfunctioning Hey, don't you understand the mod god damn electronics or malfunction.
I need some help from your Canadian folk. Stop touching your cocks and get
your asses back in here. They're standing there like their hands nowhere near their
cocks. Well, Bretts would because it had thumbs in his. You know
you, you're scrubby looking, motherfucker. I'm tired of waiting. Imagine that
you're leaving to Dori's house and then you're hey, I'm tired of waiting.
There, you're son of a bitch and casts an actual fishing line from the
second floor and it hooks inside of Bruce's lip. Yes, yes, how
are you son of a bitch. I hooked you, you god damn Canadian
bitch. Get your ass backer. He's like, I'm not done, frantically
spinning the wire back like you do on the fish poles, like ripping Bruce's
cheek. All right, then where do we go? Bruce? Ah fucking
electrical problems uh, And that as a result, his air conditioning and electric
windows weren't working. Since it was well up over ninety degrees out, it
soon became quite stifling in the car. In the meantime, I was still
chewing my big wad of tobacco, and being the naive mark that I was
back then as opposed to the naive mark that he is now, I had
no idea that you were supposed to spit out the juice rather than swallow it.
My head soon began to swim and my guts began to churn, and
I finally had to ask Terry to pull over so I could puke my guts
out. Terry, I noticed, seemed to be having some trouble keeping a
straight face, and once I'd finished my up chucking on the side of the
road, the air conditioning and power windows somewhat miraculously seemed to start working again.
Just before we pulled into Lubbock, Terry said he had an angle in
mind, which entailed me pretending to be so there are all of a sudden
they're working essentially. Yes, you know, I had an idea for an
angle. If you guys were interested, where you go or you know,
you could be a mark in the in the crowd and he'd run into the
ring. And uh, and I'm a finisher, save local hero Dick Murdoch.
What do you think of that? You want to you want to play
a game? You want to play a game, be a wrestling mark.
Huh huh, huh huh? And where are we? Why don't you go
ahead and say, yes, you little fuck, I'm waiting. I'm waiting.
Huh. Hey, I'm not finished with you. Hey, I didn't
say you could leave. I'm not done waiting for an answer the lapsed funk
T shirt. I didn't say, hey, I didn't say you could leave.
Hey, I didn't say you could leave. Your stupid cocksuckers. Fuck
Murdoch would be caught in the Russian sleeper hole being applied by the dastardly Boris
Malenko, their top heel. I told Terry I'd be happy to give it
a shot. Since I was supposed to appear to be a quote mark,
Terry didn't want us to be seen getting out of his car or walking in
with him, so he dropped us off what he said was a block or
two or so from the building, which proved to be a mile or two.
I'll tell you what, you know, I'm gonna drop you off here.
I want people seen you come out of my car. Otherwise i'll know
that wrestling's fake. So why don't you So, I'm gonna drop you off
here about a block or so from the day place, from the damn building,
and you guys can hot tail it up to the place and get your
seats. Oh, as he's driving off, I'm sorry, I'm meant a
mile or two of you dumb fucks each eat shitting dark Canadians. And then
Terry Funk shifts gears and guns guns to pick up so hard that it proceeds
to take off like a bow in seven thirty seven into the sky. I
go on to he shifts into gear. You know, he pushes the gas
so hard that you know the wheels start spinning. Is not going anywhere.
And then finally it starts plowing away and then it hits a tree and he
comes out walking like he sells, you know, because hands going, he's
throwing a fists in the air. I want you to know, after all
these weeks of doing the lapsed Funk, that we finally landed, or at
least JP did on. The sound Terry Funk makes when he sells, for
some reason, sounds a little something like this. Oh oh, so when
you picture the funker, you know, like legs spread open like he's being
a pat searched at the airport security, rocking back and forth, knock need
like he's about to fall over. Know that the sound version of that is
those moans you just heard, all right, huh huh, huh huh International
Lats to Day twenty and fourteen, Pardon two thousand and thirty four. Can
you find out that the episode where JP moans when making the noise of Terry
Funk's cell job and when his truck takes off into the horizon like et,
oh my god, O fucking plays the et theme as he's fucking does he
flies away. Uh. When we finally made it to the arena and sat
bringside and proceeded to play our roles hardcore mark types, booing, cheering and
whatnot. Our actions seemed to rub some of the rednecks. We were sitting
here the wrong way and we almost got into a fight or two. Why
did you keep calling everyone rednecks? He loves that term. It's like he's
proud of himself for me. Their rednecks up in fucking Canada too. They
were next everywhere. I suppose, yeah, I suppose. During the main
event, when Maleenko got his drinded Russian sleeper hold on Murdoch, I slid
under the bottom rope and jumped on Malenko's back piggyback style. I should note
that I'd never met either Malenko or Murdoch before this, and I said something
was wrong as Malenko tensed up, and I heard him telling Murdoch, some
fucking Mark just jumped on my back. Amazing. He then gave me a
stiff head mayor. Stiff head mayor onto the mat. Is that a snap
Mayor? I think? So? Okay. As I was lying on the
mat, I saw him wrapping the chain around his fist and drawing back to
clobber me with it. Wide eyed and scared shitless, I began shouting wide
eyed and scared shitless. I began shouting k fabe, k fabe, Bruce
Hart, ladies and gentlemen, which is the wrestler's way of letting the other
guy know that you that you're not a mark. He looked at me and
kind of perplexed, and I shouted, shouted, mind you, not whispered
or anything. Shouted Terry fun Dormana running on the Finish. He did not
say that. That's what it says, and he says he shouted it.
He looked at me kind of perplexed, and I shouted quote Terry fun Domoa
running on the Finish up. Malenko and Murdoch looked at each other, puzzled
and and Murdoch then snarled about fucking Terry in his ribs. Okay, I'm
sure that's exactly what happened. At that point, I suddenly found myself surrounded
by cops who handcuffed me and dragged my ass out of the ring. They
threw me in the back of the police cruiser, and I was contemplating having
to spend the night in a Southern jail, which, based on movies i'd
seen, was nothing to look forward to. Because the movies are the truth.
My spirits brightened momentarily when I saw Terry Funk come out the back door
of the arena and approach the police cruiser. I figured that he'd tell the
cops everything was cool, but he instead launching into an Academy Award deserving rant
about how I'd endangered the safety of thousands of fans. I don't even know
who the fuck this guy is. I know that he's the son of a
bitcher, came up from Canada, and he came down here to try to
fuck with my guys in the ring. You better take him away, and
you better hang the son of a bitch officer. It's my understanding that you
want to check this guy's papers in addition to you know, taking him down
to the jail, and my understand he's in the country legally, and I
want ahead and verify that with Immigration and Naturalization Service. I did that in
the last five minutes. I have friends, I'm the biz. I made
a couple of calls, and I went ahead, made a couple of calls,
and you know what I did. What I had yep, yep,
yep, yep, yep. That thing, yep, that thing went ahead
and I'll tell you what this thing's going over? That guy's head rot?
Now, can you give me a head? Please? Does everybody want a
head? To get a to get ahead? He ordered for the lands,
beseeching the cops to lock me up and throw the keys away. He then
stormed off in a huff, making out to be in sense and leaving me
to ponder how I was going to get my ass out of this sling.
Luckily, just after that, Lord Alfred Hayes, who later gained fame and
acclaim in the WWE came up to the cop car and in his very proper
British accent, pleaded for leniency. He told the cops that I got caught
up in the heat of the match, and I tested that he could that
he could vouch for me. Much to my relief, the cops agreed to
let me go. I'm not sure if that was some kind of routine initiation
for the new kid on the block, but after I had paid my dues,
Terry and I had a good laugh. We it would go on to
become great friends. He remains one of the people I respect and admire most
in the business. So there you go, the funks and the hearts forming
bonds very early on Great Malnko. Of course, Boris Malenko referenced there as
in the match as one of the promo inspirations for Terry Funk. We talked
about that all the way back in the beginning. Yeah, I remember that.
It was discussing the inspirations for his promo styles that he would see when
he just broke into the business in sixty five. And then, of course
Dick Murdoch, somebody that Terry Funk counted as a close friend, a fellow
West Texas boy, someone who claimed to have gone to West Texas State when
he never really even did, but still played in the alumni football game because
he was that much of a worker that he convinced them that he belonged to
the gridiron and actually did quite well for himself, wow, but had an
untimely death due to heart issues and was something that Terry often pointed to and
shoot interviews. It was, how you know, part of the reason he
kept in such cardiovascular shape was seeing what happened to the likes of a Dick
Murdoch, who had all the athletic traits you could hope for as a professional
wrestler, but you know, didn't necessarily mind the p's and q's of his
personal health, and of course the death of his father to a heart attack
hung like a dark cloud over the rest of Terry Funk's life. Really,
so the ties that bind, they are being formed between the Hart family and
the Funk family way back in the Amerala Territory days. It's crazy Bruce and
Terry were just young folks and it pays back all the way later. September
eleventh, nineteen ninety seven, Terry Funk versus Bretttheart at Wrestle Fest. Boss,
I ask you to pull up disc thirty one because it's time to watch
Wow, the definitive collision between Terry Funk and the hitman Brett Hart. Just
thirty one. You got it right at the very beginning. Too great.
We've got a tiny ring as picked it and beyond the mat three two one
play Ladies and Gamer. If attention real quick, we have two ex woman's
World wrestling champions here with us tonight ladies in Noble Lady Noble, Jamie Noble,
relation to Jamie Noble in a relation to Barnes. And there's the Desperado
entrance theme for the Funker Wow Joey Styles took the announcing duties for this one.
That's wild. It's pretty much an e c W show. Yeah,
it was filmed and distributed by our video, the same guys who did all
the ECW hole videos Arena matches the name. Who is this pervert in the
ring? Who's this pervert? Announcer? I couldn't tell you this announcer was.
Actually he said it right there last time. An ambilla. Dorri's got
his type song. He's ready for action. What's that? Dorri's got his
types on He's ready for action. Yeah, he wrestled Brod van Dam earlier
in the night. Terry. I don't, I don't Terry. What Terry?
What? Whoa Terry? What's going on? Terry? People are touching
Terry. People are touching My god, two people are touching Terry. Terry,
Terry, Terry? Why are people touching people? I don't like people
touching Terry. Somebody threw a black cowboy hat on the funker there he is,
look at him, Look at Dennis Damp Terry. Who's this fucking clown
of the referee. I've never seen him before? Terry the referee y b
pointing to both all sides of the ring. Thank you's out? Terry is
my mom the referee is that my mom at WWW is on top of it?
Terry, is this my final match? Is this my retirement match?
Terry? Am I winning the title from Brett Hard? Terry am I Woody
am I Woody Harrelson. Terry that crazy would be to go to the show
and fucking Brett Hart is there? Oh god, Yeah, winged eagle title
on his waist. Yep, yep. Montreal around the corner for the hit
Man is like a week before Vince tells him at Madison Square Garden that we
can't honor your contract. And you know what, Pell, We're not.
You know, you know Terry, you know you know that he went down
to to do this fucking Terry Funk thing. You know what, I don't
want to in my company anymore. I'm gonna tell I can't afford anymore.
Yeah, oh my god, think about that. It's a catalyst get another
thing, Terry Funk said in motion to change the whole business. Gotta tell
Brett a little lethargic on the walk to the ring, not feeling great,
ye style of a bit of a history lesson fucking Bruce Jesus, that's the
Ambrella story, saying that a Stamp when Brett was a teenager visiting Amarella as
they did, and so Brett caught in the ring and had his first match
against Dennis Stamp. Would have thought Amrella had a It's a central role in
Brett Hart's story. Yeah, and rustlers. And now Terry Funk's daughter is
entering the ring. Who's that in the back there? Who are all these
people? Candido? Oh my god, see Paul's mahoney. Basically all the
e c W guys. They came to the shower in the ring. Now
surrounding Terry for group photos. There's Vicky, He's beloved Vicky Funk. Sure,
I'm sure those camera men are for Ry Blaustein or some of them.
Oh yeah, there's two daughters. Paul Hayman in the ring as well.
Looks like a little impromptu speech here from Paul Hayman microphone. Victor Quinonez as
well as Dory Sadman. Tommy Dramer bears the boom mic for Barry Blaustein,
Well, Texas to patribute to Terry Fuck. Terry retiring from full time competition
in the United States, at the end of nineteen ninety seven. What a
great career it has been, Bridies and gentlemen. For those of you who
don't know, the wrestlers that are in the ring within me to night represent
a promotion. BOBCW. I guess they're happy. What are you doing?
Here's a promotion that I swear to you was put on the map because we
had the services of election that Emmy Roll lent to us by the name of
Terry Buck in nineteen eleveny three when we sawbody c W with perhlf of Barley
Funk Junior and with the pleas of Terry's white and there's two beautiful borders,
the literally on behalf of the state of Texas with us and the man Vicky
stepping into the foreground there. That was interesting the night I assume everybody is
here the sum of fifty years at the thank Berlin I want, I had,
I went, I went, I had him, and and and and
and and and retired way the harder three years. I want the fun family
tax done, but I wanted docation of this city n the Royal Texas.
As you all know, tonight is Terry Bump's final match in his hometown are
down the roll, Kerry Funk on behalf of not only Extreme Championship Wrestling,
on behalf of not only your family, but on beha we would would say,
who would hearts Life Time Tommy Dreamer hoisting the memorial Championship belt for the
Funk or he'd already lost it at Hardcore Heaven. Ye pardon it was the
saboo before Hardcore Heaven. Nonetheless, Terry Funk presented with a permanent championship down
strong embrace from his family. Hey, Terry, is this for me?
That Dory's very confused? Terry? Is this my belt? Have I won
the championship? Did I beat Brett? Okay? Terry? Can I Can
I go home when the match is about thirty five minutes? And you can?
Dory? Terry? Do I need to be here for this? No,
it's all right, you can go home. Ben. I just you
know, I certainly got really tired and all, and you know what,
my feeling really tied it on my crotch, Fifetime Championship belt high above his
head. It's funny that Brett Hart, the WWF champion, has to stand
there in the corner of leg Yeah, watch this whole thing with his hands
on his hips. C W takes the fucking Center's dage right, Barry blasting's
boom mic. You see it seriously like it's all over the place, the
size that fucking boom too. It's cut the full into the ring. I
wonder if Berry used that to like get you know over here, neighbors having
sex or something in apartments. Bratt's got a mic. They're pulling the hell
out of him. Hear me out. I just want to say, tonight,
where their in the history of the game. There's another one. You
got it, Brett, I made up from the bottom of my heart.
I know a lot about the room, the men of Texas. I was
invited down here years ago when I was Anna sop Kiddy. I favor with
Dory and I'll favored carry you up for one down a wrestling. I will
say one thing with the greatest rustling you have the law. It's a very
important thing for great to be here tonight. So I was just one of
the bad teams and doctor too long. The luck on people the arm as
long as third one last seven, I'm gonna give you a pay ask womany
the holidays last That was good. That was good Breton Brett Hart showed a
a spark, class and sportsmanship, but the competitor always shives through go to
qualifications in this sign one fall to a finished no, d K. Let's
keep it clean right all right? So again, you've never seen this before,
have you? No? Never, Let's go takes on a life of
its own when you see it in the movie. You know, yeah,
right, Coulering, you all go to the corner now, Funker backing up
the hit man. Get in there, Dennis Brett, come on, basing
your book to call it down the middle. I mean, look at that
looks like big bird? Does it looks like the love child a big bird?
And Tony Gia definitely stole total Grea's hair hair, there's no question about.
After a brief lock up, Brett hits the floor looking to regather his
wits. Joey Styles says psychology. Yes, so we're off to a good
start. I think the key factor for Brett is that he's in a ring
much smaller than he's used to it. You have to account for that absolutely.
You gotta think Terry's home turf. You know, he's probably had a
little bit of an edge as far as getting a preview of the ring early
Dennis Damp, very very thorough. I sees one shoulders off the canvas.
Brett finally pins it down, rolling up Terry's from the headlock position. Funk
or how many how many uh, how many minutes do you think uh uh
uh Stamp spent on the trampoline before coming. It's a great question. I
mean, you got to get your wind up if you're gonna referee amavement like
this. Yeah, so Brett taps the matt furiously while trapped into submission.
Get the matches not over. Yeah, that's still a new thing. Shammy
was tapping people in WWF by this point though, Yes, yes, this
is when it all developed. Yeah, but I don't think it had branched
out as much to other places. Right Jane of Terry going up as Funk
Squeeze is tight on the headlock, Brett looking at break by pushing to the
ropes. It's free brother heel Brett here. I love it. I always
loved Heel Brett funk with a low base, wide stance. Yep, look
at it working some real Greco Roman grappling wristlocks and tie ups, and it
gets wrist clutch carried by the Funker in nineteen eighty seven. I'll take it,
and he goes to a side headlock. This is like keep in mind
too, you remember this is this is peak violence Terry Funk, and he's
doing absolutely some traditional catch you know, catches catch can style. Yeah,
it wasn't just chainsaw, Charlie. That was the only version of Terry Funk
that refused to be put in a box. Okay, that's true, right,
keeps that sign headlock on the on the canvas on the getting too.
But I will say Terry Funk always insisted on being in Vicki's box. That's
what I heard. Great point, the only box he was very comfortable and
can put in. Oh nice. Brett extracts himself from the headlock and grabs
the front of Chancery Funk now in all fours in the canvas trapped in Brett's
clutches as he tries to stand up, and the bread had the style in
him back then, you know, ye ever got to flex this kind of
methodical pace in w w F No, right right behind the age from standing
up heart standing up. But I'm trying. I mean it also goes it
goes to show you too, and it's a real testament to both these guys
that that this is also it's in engaging stuff. It's not like it's it's
not like it's boring at all at all. It's very very animated. Yeah
ninety seven, no less, Yeah, single like pick up funk code and
the spinning to hold and Brett scrambles to the ropes and gets free. It's
battle of the spinning to hold in the sharpshitter. Wow, he bailed out
of there like hul Cogan, you know, avoiding a fucking roll up.
Cogan bailed out. Nick Teeney, that's right. Brother k goes right out
after Brett, and Brett slips right back into the ring. Got a stamp.
Is loving life right now? Oh my god, this is it.
He's so happy to be happy to be booked colraand Elbow Center ring. Yeah,
Horn, Dennis stopped making me stop dragging all the attention to yourself though,
Okay, pal, it's a great answer the trivia question. Did Joey
Styles ever call a Brett Hart match? Hey, there you go? Should
a minute series of rights? Now? Brett opening up with stumps to the
bad knees of the funker. Certainly came in knowing all about the weak points
of Terry Funk after all the years of abuse and the knees are certainly the
beginning of that of that at the top of that list. You think you're
gonna be doing fifty years celebrating another wrestler fifty years from now, doing a
show like this where everybody comes together to pay tribute. I don't. Somehow,
I don't think so. No, not at all. Fifty years of
Adam Page center ring Brett looking that headlock and throw in some Oh you can't,
we might say, cheap shots in there in the funker is Terry.
Terry can never touch the ropes without just like getting all entangled in them.
Oh and the Funker takes a violent ride through the ropes to the hard concrete
with the a Mailla Fairgrounds. I don't know, Boss, this might be
the Amilla unfair Grounds at this point. That's true. Brother girls laughing at
wrestling neighbors, their black Funk goes up to the apron and Brett throwing heavy
rights. Such an old school field in this building. Oh yeah, totally.
It really was like a blash in the past. Was like a time
capsule in terms of psychology. Like you said, it seems like you've got
a lot of people here that aren't necessarily going to wrestling matches all the time.
You know, I'm sure Terry Funk's good friend, former footballer John Ayers,
is here. Wouldn't surprise me if they convinced Jack Briscoe that the Governor
of Texas was here as well. Remember that story. I'll tell you I
heard that the I don't mind telling you that. I heard that the governor
was many places at the same time, and I wondered if I could believe
that, And I said, you know what, I might be able to
believe that if I talked myself into it. That's a good lie, right
with fucking absolutely perfect How good is this step Suplex. He's so much good
it's ridiculous. Pretend to forget how good he was. I mean, he
was in like he was in his his like his prime between ninety four and
ninety seven. It's right easy. And the only reason he got out of
his prime in ninety seven is because he went to WW Right, they slowed
him to a crawl that one exceptional match with the rec Flair right away,
and then he just ever do you have a chance to do that again.
Brett sits across the leg of Funker draped on the bottom rope and whet,
it's really opening up on the bad wheel of the hometown hero. Here here
he goes, he's gonna kick up. No, hope, he's gonna twist
it. No, I'm just gonna twist. This is giving Funk a chance
to sell almost like you know, late seventies, early eighties, all Japan.
Yeah, totally, he states. There's a similar affinity in the air
for him from the fans. You know, Brett, I was thinking,
what if we go ahead and do it like a like a Japan match,
you know, go back to the kind of the old school instead of doing
the hardcore stuff. The hands him a fork like a but I'll tell you
the next thing you gotta do is you gotta stab me in the head with
a fork and let it sit there. Speaking of old school. Right,
With a single leg, Pickup continues to attack the left knee of the Funker.
I hope we see h a figure four on the post. It's a
good call, that's right. Ninety seven Brett totally Funk with the striped red,
red, black and white number on the pants. It goes funk with
the boxing and they're coming alive for it. Look at him staying in the
comboy ass. They believe in Terry's right jab still an amarilla. They also
believe in Terry's right to jab and is right to bump, right to bear
jabs. The floor goes Terry after a piston like right hand from the WWF
champion. I mean, I think this is unprecedented. I think you'd be
hard pressed to find an example of a WWF champion under Vince Junior going to
an American indie. Yep, they did go through USWA, but there was
an alliance there with Jerry Lawler. I'm talking about a promotion of an event
that they had nothing to do with, you know what I mean, they
know, business alliance whether or anything like that. This definitely seems like something
Brett asks that didn't ask permission to do. You know, It's like very
clear he's going, Yep, I love your thought there that maybe that's the
first straw on the camel's back for Montreal. Pissed Vincent. It really you
know, you know, like putting up Vince's belt down and yeah, making
Vince realize that WWF champion is willing to go and do some other company show
and not taking no for an answer. I know this isn't an ongoing concern.
This isn't a company. It's gonna be around, you know, Brett.
I'm glad that you went down there and collected that payday because quite frankly,
I'm not able to afford your contract with the d W tow anymore.
Well, Brett, I hope you collected all the money down there that you
could, because I've got some bad news. You're not collecting any more money
from me, exactly correct. As of right now, I cannot pay you
a single dime. I made a contract with you, and I only have
to live up to it until I feel like it. Uh and uh,
you know, I know you're going to say that, Wait a minute,
didn't you give Steve Austin Sean Michael's raises just now? And that is true,
nor is it your business. But nonetheless, I can't afford you.
I don't want to afford you. Nonetheless, Brett, I don't want you
here. Right now, we're getting it again, old school like intensity building
for it looks like Terry's about to make a comeback. Yeah, crowd starts
getting up for it, and then Brett cuts him off. It's like Terry
used to do to Jerry Lawler in Memphis. Yeah, right's now locked down
a figure four and grabbing the middle ropes for dastardly healish leverage. There's Dory
nowhere to be found to stop this injustice. It's no DQ anyways. I
don't well, I didn't even you know, I don't. I don't.
I don't a bit. What was I supposed to do? I don't.
I don't watch things. Who's that? No, it's reader? Oh yes,
Ross Smith or Ross Ross Parole. Yeah, the only time there there
he is wow seated ringside but not in front of the way Hart boys talking
all kinds of ship to Terry. Hey, hey, hey, Brothie,
Berthie, I just took a ship in my bands. Oh take the ship
and smothered in Terry Funk's face, and then go find me some chicken soup
so I can put it in my jock chicken soup for the Jowels. For
some reason, Dennis Stamp decided to extract Brett's figure four in a no DQ
match, and then, uh, Bruce Hart plants a steel chair on top
of Funk's head. One of those cowboys is being let out. I think
somebody had to hop the the rope railing. Here comes a slug fest,
Brett throwing rights, Funk throwing from his knees left and right to the gut.
Yep, oh my god, look at him. Was a cotback.
Huh, I'm gonna go ahead. Funk stands tall, left hand drops the
hit man drops some cold and look at the baby face. Terry Funk come
back. He knows he's going back to the Al Japan bag of tricks,
heavy jack. It's also interesting to see, uh, like, you know,
because I'm like in WWE at the time, Brett Hart's playing like traditional
baby traditional heel stuff like back in the way and being coward and I don't
recall him doing that in w W. He was more of a of a
deliberate heel, right, you know. I know he was dastardly on the
mic and what he did between matches, but in the body of the match,
he wouldn't really do much dastardly and coward nor cowardly. Right, Terry
Chance go up as Funk hits and covered by the Funker off the DDT gets
too some reason, I don't mind Terry Funk using the DDT as a non
finisher. I don't know why, well, you know, because I feel
like he's earned it. Maybe that's it. And a ring pile driver Funk
plants Brett hard yep, definitely heavy cardiovascular demands on the fifty plus year old
Bruce Brice try to put a Brett's foot on the rope there, Brett's delabled
to kick out after the pile driver back up and Funk tosses Brett to the
floor. I love the silhouette cowboy hats in the front. Yeah, ye
had some high ceilings there at the fair Grounds. Seriously, it really is
woof brad Han's heads slammed right into the chair there. Had Terry taking this
one to the people as he's wont to do. People flip it off Brett
in the audience attitude to get up? Were they just in the Canadian Stampede,
you know? And that was all about marshaling people to chant Usa at
the at the heart to reciprocate for how nationalistic the Canadians viewed it in that
show, and that one was that, you know, Calgary Stampede week and
all that is very similar to this, Ye fair Grounds you know, cowboy
culture had something else the heart shared into common with the funks. Is from
a cowboy town. Funk's honors over to Brett and here you go. Your
boy is about to become true. There it is that's about to lock on
the figure four around the ring post. Ooh, and it's one of those
with the those kind of extended handles too. That can't be good funking a
lot of trouble bred absolutely cranking upside downing Dennis Stamp What are you doing,
Dennis? It's a no DQ match. You don't need to touch him.
Yeah, Brett, Look at he's get dog shit on his back. Is
that what that is? Now? I'm sure it's just stampede cowshit? Is
it? Manure ringside absolutely packed with photographers and personnel and managers with a sad
Russian Oh no, no, he just jumped over the leg and he worked
in the right laying into the funker. Here. What's on that name?
You get the crowd shout and Terry Terry is funk in agony. If Bruce
described the mic, come on, he's such an asshole. Mike Brett's about
to sit on the leg across the ropes. Oh, devastating to Terry Funk.
Terrence Funk, that's a great point. M h, where's Durrance?
He just bounced. I gotta go home back there's a classic bred heeart backbreaker.
You know people are there. I got TV shows to watch at home.
Yeah, maybe you should really go Dorry, that's a good that's a
I tape Party of five. I don't want to miss it. Oh my
god, he said, I taped Party of five. I don't want to
miss it. Party of five. That was the Reform party when Jesse Ventura
was in it. It's on tape. You taped it, Dory. It
ain't going anywhere. You can't miss it if you taped it. He thinks,
after so much time, VHS tapes just dissolved in the thin air.
Bred is just pill and I left you. No, I've I've seen the
news and I can tell you that I know the tapes to disintegrate after five
years, Dorry, that was a recall. That's not every tape. I
don't want to lose Party of five, and I don't want to lose you.
So despite this Party of one loves Party of five, Party of one,
the Dory Funk story, despite wedging Terry Funk's legging a chair and stomping
away. The Funker is on the comeback trail and he's dropping a leg across
Brett's knee. Now, my heart being shown by Terry Funk in this most
important matches is he wants chairs? Oh please don't. There's another one.
He's gonna do it again. Brett is not prepared for this. Wow,
Terry let the chair fly down under the knee of Brett. Man. Terry
Funk has been driving steel chairs into knees to greater What is Dennis Stamp doing
is an no d Q match? Pale, Oh my god, cheers a
flying again. Oh, Dennis is trying to stop him. Look, oh
the funker. These are plastic chairs, but he's still letting him. Raine
down on the hitman. Yeah, Evince, I'm gonna go down to Amarillo
to work with Terry and let fans or chairs at the ring and ship to
the floor they go. Funker picks up another ring side folding chair, smacks
it across the back. Wow, Terry, these these chairs weren't booked.
They can't be in this matter exactly. Terry ends up knocking down Brett underneath
the ringside table. And now he's positioning the table over Brett's carcass. Terry's
about to climb to the Brett effort. Wan ahead butt Mmm, oh no,
Brett, it's been splayed out of the table. He's on top of
it. Funker's in the middle rope. What's he gonna do? Fifty years
a fuck? Oh oh, he missed a vaderbomb. He tried a Vader
bomb down on the table. Brett rolled off, and not only did Terry
crash at the table, he smacked his face on it. Terry came to
Amarilla to risk it all, Yes he did. It's going to be his
last match, all right, but not for the reasons. You think red
Heart really dodging a panhandle sized bullet right there? Look at the funk.
Call up, juice, you do what it took? Mm hmm. The
business commands him to run the razor. Hey, you know, if you
want to make a match matter despite all these for him, Terry bleed for
me, Terry, prove to me you still love the business. Bleed,
Prove to me you love yourself. Carve your head up, exact and a
stamp jaw jacking at ringside with Bruce and ross Hart, Chance of Terry going
up in Amarilla as the wounded blooded warriors rolled back into the ring, the
hit man and after him. Now see what Brett has in mind. He's
limping a bed as he drops an elbow. Brett's in full command. That
is building, Yes, he is full command up here. He goes,
rights him to the center and drops the head button the lower abdom into the
funker, signaling with the thumbs down to the people. The Brett He's gonna
put away Terry that steps through the fit to the sharpshooter. No funk inside
cradle cover two. Nice position is dead A stamp yet to he slapped.
They had to move his whole body to slap too. I mean, that's
Dennis Stamp for you. He wasn't booked to be in that other position.
Put a stamp on this one single leg here by the Funkers who tries to
rise to his feet while controlling one of Brett's legs. Good position for an
insegurary if he asked me, Brett ops instead to hop on one leg and
throw rights. Yeah, he wasn't much of an instagrae guy, was he?
Brett? I really know. I don't think I can remember him ever
doing it, but this would be the time. Finally Brett loses his balance,
flatbacks and the Funker steps over flash bumps, popping an amilla, his
dad's old hold, his brother's hold. I just don't get it. He's
twisting away, that's tapping like a drunk man, but it doesn't count step.
I wouldn't imagine Denis Stamp would know anything about the requisitions off the spinning
tol gets too, almost pulling the rug out from under the funker. There
was the World Wrestling Federation champion. Brett Up springs off the rope and levels
Funker with a clothes line. It's bad. Brett's swinging desperately on the clothes
lines, trying to keep Terry at bay so we can recuperate. Here.
Third launch, Terry this time hits the ropes himself. They bunk heads.
Well, Terry kind of falls on top of Brett. See if Dennis Stamp
goes for it, Yes, he does one. Two, Brett lifts the
shoulder. They think that Terry Funk is going to win the world title.
The title isn't on the line. I thought you said how you wanted the
title online, So they say that I thought it was that was in the
book whatever some of you read. That'd have been something to come home and
tel Vince h Yeah, I dropped the belt to Terry. We decided to
be best on the night back Suplex Funk with the bridge too. Brett lifts
the shoulder but stays on top. Dennis Stamp slaps three and you know what
that means. Yep, it appears that Brett Hart has out foxed Terry Funk
and a compromising convoluted position. Yeah, fans throwing it in the ring.
There's already some projectiles. Get the official decision. Joey's screening at Dennis Stamp
to raise somebody's hand here, and he does. He raises Brett the hit
Manhart's hand. So it's that old finish were Funk, you know, you
do the backsup plex you bridge one two, but the other guy lifts the
shoulder, which is always so weird to me because they're counting both shoulders in
the first place. Yeah, that's what it is. They're counting both shoulders,
right, Yeah, which is weird. It's it's a weird thing.
You shouldn't become both shoulders. Terry Funk, blood dripping from the tip of
his nose seated against the ropes, dejected that he took the l there,
but he insisted I wanted to put him over to hear him tell it.
And judging by the response to this finish, that may have been the move
tonight. Not what Terry Funk came to a Mailla looking to do. Arguing
now with Dennis Stamp, but it looks like not arguing so much as and
again next make sure like Tree, I tried to understand the call, and
his body language indicates that, as Joey Styles just said, Terry Funk accepts
Dennis Stamp's decision, crawling into the ropes, righting himself. Brett has extended
a hand. There's the handshake. Kick him now, kick him, Yeah,
Terry does want to overdo it. He's demeuroring here. Let's just get
some extra heat and kicked Dennis Damp raises Brett Hart's hand one last time.
Remarkable this came together. Let's said. He crawled out of the ring and
went right to bed. He's in the ring and Terry's out the funk he's
talking about now he's going. So there you have it. The match,
the moment, the occasion is so dramatized and beyond the match. Yep,
Terry Funk's last match, then his last match in the United States, then
his last full time match, then his last match in Near Marilla. I
want to know about his I want to I'm sure we will. I'm assuming
we will see his actual last match. Yeah, we will know which one
it is, but we will not be able to see it interestingly. Ah,
thanks for the memories. Indeed, Terry Funk will always be out here,
always be our hero, bloody mess. He'll be your hero. Yeah,
they should have saved it for him. He row, he'l be your
hero. Whoa Yeah? What does it take to be a key role question?
What does it take to be a Manunk? With the mic? No
complaints now about my family. Blood dripping from his nose to the microphone,
Terry Funk says bye to his hometown. Things were coming out that in the
heart of operations for his father's territory, dating all the way back to cal
Fartley's Boy's Ranch. I'm sure there are some boys Ranch folks in the crowd
tonight. I have home. Carefully, is Terry Funk let up the isleway?
And that is that for the wrestle Fest event in nineteen ninety seven,
Terry Funk given the sendoff, and if you want to figure out where to
place this in terms of Terry's many retirements and the degree to which he meant
this one certainly seemed like a lot to go through for a retirement that he
didn't quite believe in or buy into. Piece of sound from Barry Blaustein should
tell us how to feel about it. So this is Terry Funk talking to
Barry Blaustein on the director's commentary which you pointed me to for under the unders
in that episode, on the significance of this match and what he really hoped
it meant and what he actually thought of as the stipulation in his mind it
retirement match. Did you really think you were retiring? I really did retire
and been back to Amarilly. I've never wrestling back at Amarilla, and you
know Dennis is I would. I wanted Dennist be there because it was it
was a show in Ambrella. It was my last match in Amreilla, and
it really is my last match. I'll never go back here. And how
many towns are there in America? Thousands? So then we fousends my retirements
maybe just five hundred or so. I no, I really mean that as
I, you know, as it's a has a pretty big deal to me
that night, it really was, you know, and and UH people laugh
about that about how many times we retired, but I did go after that
night and I said that's it. I'm not going back, you know.
And uh Brett beat up Terry for a wh and again there's that dad gim
Brett, you know. And at this time Brett was wrestling for the w
w F and it was quite an honor to have him come down or as
being champion, you know, he didn't think man, it was a man
who could beat the chance. Can you talk about why you wanted to lose
the matter, Well, you know, it's kind of funny, you know
with UH, I really do with uh again as UH, I wanted to
go out as UH as a wrestler. And I don't I know that doesn't
mean and I much to some people, but I wanted to go out as
a wrestler and passing on something to and don't ask me what it is,
but UH passing on something to somebody else and UH being a success in my
business. And I think it shows something like that doesn't mean that you have
to be a Winterberry, you know, and uh that that's very very important
to me and to pass that on to other wrestlers that you don't have to
be a winner. You just have to go ahead and and uh and and
and give a give a great amount Mick to have to give. Mick told
me that wrestling true the truly I'm not classifying myself in this group, but
what I consider truly a great wrestler is a wrestler that that gives and doesn't
take. And I think that there's a lot of guys that have have done
that in this profession that had never been recognized for it. You know,
I think that that's uh, that's the epitome of a great wrestler is to
go out there and do what is best for his other people. But see
as I grew up in a different era. I grew up whenever it was
appearing all of us depended on each other because we didn't have contracts. We
got paid by the number of people over there. So if what we did
could help them the next week, it helped all of the other wrestlers on
the card make a few more bucks. And you always did what was best
for your fellow wrestler so he could go ahead and feed his family. How
has that changed Tonight's daughter, Well, it's it changed so much, it
really has, because it's a contract situation anymore. You know, you signed
for a year, so it really doesn't matter to you about the crowd.
But I still can't wipe that away. I can't wipe that away. I
can't wipe that that that's ingrained in my mind that I have to help my
fellow wrestler, you know. And I think that there is a lot more
of individuality, you know, where these guys want to maintain their super stars
status. But it's a funny thing, you know. I in w c
W, one of the chips are on the table, wrote me, and
uh, you start not doing the ratings that you were doing before. It's
amazing that this is how much more compatible some of these personalities are. And
by GLLI, you've got to do it and they're forced into the situation of
becoming that giving person again. This is me and in its own way,
and you know, being down can have its can have its pluses to it
by sometimes making you a better person, you know. And I think that
that's what happening with w c W, you know at this time is a
hint, But we're attempting to close the gap and somewhat narrowing it and might
continue to do so, might not, But the people that were impossible to
deal with are becoming very, very compatible as far as it's good things that
are asked of them. Terry part of WCW at the time he sat down
to record that, yeah right, and talking about the uphill climb but recovering
the lost ground that he was brought in to try to help recover for WCW,
but talking about how you know, when you're on top, people act
like they can't work with each other, they're not compatible. That the idea
that we're all responsible for each other's fates in a wrestling locker room is just
like this outmoded notion. But when the chips are down, you actually then
start to realize all over again what Terry Funk knew from the moment he was
born into the business, and what any wrestler worth a fuck knows that unless
you're creating value for everyone up and down the card, you're not a good
progress you're not a great pro wrestler. If you if your ray of sunshine
doesn't you know, provide sustenance to the plants elsewhere on the card, then
you only deserve so much credit in terms of the plaudits that can be assigned
to you. Sure and Funk remembers a time where you, you know,
like you said, you got paid on who showed up. And sometimes I
wonder, boss, how much better wrestling could be if somehow we could return
to that. You know, you got to pay the guys, but you
got to pay them to keep them away from opposition. You got to lock
them in contracts, and you got to you know, take care of them
when they're hurt. It's just it's great for the guys. You love to
see it, but it does take away the discipline of like, okay,
say is it working. We can't feed our families. We have to change
course instead of we're telling a story, give it time and wait so long
that people stop caring about whether it actually counted as a success or not before
it suddenly gives away. And you hope nobody notices that it was a lot
of wasted time. So I'm going to feed you now a little piece.
This is terry reflecting because if we're going to be here. We've talked so
much about beyond the mat justifiably sure. Over the course of the Lapsed Funk
of course gave you an under the cinemat entirely on that landmark film, but
considering they were in attendance and conspicuous, they're shooting all over the place in
this bread heart match. A quick passage from Terry Funk's book about what's actually
being depicted here. Blausting ended up filming the events leading up to my latest
retirement match at a show called fifty Years of Funk, celebrating the anniversary of
my father's nineteen forty seven debut in the city. It was set for September
eleventh, nineteen ninety seven, and was to be my last match in Amarilla.
In my mind, I needed another reason besides the fifty years to make
the show a special one, one worth promoting. So I announced it would
be my last match and Amarilla. I never intended to retire altogether even then.
I just wanted one last reason to do big business in Amarilla. That
show had some incredible talent from Japan ECW and even the WWE. You know
they were guys. I knew where had worked with like the Heart Family in
Calgary. I asked Brett Hart to come in and he okayed it with Vince.
Vince also okayed my good friend Mick mcfoley, a work in the show
as Mankind is WWE persona. One of the more memorable scenes in the movie
is one where I'm talking with Dennis Stamp, a former wrestler in the area
who I've known since the mid nineteen sixties. Dennis was telling me he had
wanted a match on the show and was refusing my request for him to referee
my main event against Press Prett Hart. Although he finally agreed to do it,
I've had questions about it from people who think Dennis was working for the
camera's benefit, so let me said things straight. That whole conversation was one
hundred percent real. Once I real his feelings had been hurt, I really
did regret not having him on the show because he was exactly the kind of
guy I was doing that show for. I was doing it for my friends,
for the guys who had wrestled around there, the guys I liked.
I really did want Dennis to be a part of it, and I was
glad when he finally said okay. Dennis was actually one of my first tag
team partners when I wrestled for Verne Gagn's AWA in Minnesota. He came down
to Amarilla in the mid nineteen seventies and has been here ever since. These
days, he has a pretty successful bug spray in business. Dennis was actually
a good wrestler with some amateur wrestling background. He was a solid worker and
did not rely on gimmicks or anything. He believed that straight wrestling was the
way to go. To this day, he's very involved with amateur wrestling in
the youth leagues. He referees matches and just loves working with kids. He's
a very good legitimate amateur wrestling referee. He takes a great deal of pride
in it, and he should. Dennis was also an excellent referee for my
match with Brett Yeah Saint Louis times where sea how much Nick was preoccupied with
these referees having credibility and not being made fools up by the heels because they
would referee legitimate youth sports like wrestling in the community right. He was perfect
in perfect position for everything. I worked hard promoting the show. I went
to one of the TV stations in town and got E c W on the
air for about six weeks before our show. This wasn't a lot of lead
time, but it helped to establish who those guys were so people would know
that I'm a little when they came here. I had well over thirty five
thousand dollars invested in the show, and we ended up grossing about forty five
thousand. As you can see, even under the best circumstances and independent promotion
is not an easy road a hoe. I think a lot of people who
try to become independent promoters have no idea what the about the expenses involved.
As time goes by, it gets more expensive. The expenses are unbelievable,
especially when you're running up running spots shows as opposed to a regular territory because
of the cost of transportation for the talent. Thirty years ago or more,
a promoter would never want to drive a car up to a newspaper building.
He wanted to drive an old, beat up car and go in and beg
for what he could get for free. You have to think about your venue
nowadays. You look at these independent guys running spots shows, it seems like
all they want to they seem like they all want to run Philadelphia. How
are you going to buy advertising in the newspaper for your show? It'll cost
an arm in a leg. Is he talking to us here? I think
so. I think he is. On the other hand, there are plenty
of good sized markets that aren't the biggest cities in the country. But there
are places where WW hasn't run too much and where you can go and beg
to the newspaper because you can afford their ads, you can afford the radio
spots, and Marilla was a pretty good sized market that fit that description at
that time. At that time, and I was very pleased with the fifty
Years of Funk Show. One of the things I was most pleased was that
I was that I got to work with Bret Hart. Brett Hart was my
first choice for an opponent at the show because of his in ring talent and
because of his status in the business. I also wanted him as an opponent
to make him a part of it, because I love that family. When
I asked Brett to do the show, he said, Okay, just send
me an airplane ticket. It was just that simple. Brett was another second
generation wrestler, but he was a very good businessman and a very sharp wrestler.
Sometimes younger guys forget that have a knowledge of the business and working smart
means more than all the tanned muscles in the world. In order to put
to be someone who consistently puts people in seats, you have to be sharp.
And I should stop again here and respond to something from Rick Flair's book
where he called Brett a mediocre wrestling talent. I think Brett Hart was an
excellent worker. He had a great feel for the crowds and had as much
athletic ability as anyone, and he had a good mind for the business.
Yep. Brett was a creator of moves and a real innovator. I think
his and Knightheart's matches against the Dynamite Kid and Davy boy Smith were some of
the of the best tag team matches I've ever seen in the States. Again,
I'm totally at ODZ with Rick and this asset in his assessment of Brett
Hart. For fifty years of funk, Brett the ww Champion was open to
anything, including me beaten him that night. Should that right there should tell
you what kind of guy Brett Hart it is. However, I thought it
would be ridiculous for an old fart like me to beat the champion. I
said, let's do something no one is expecting. And I think the match
was accepted better with Brett beating me in the middle of the ring than it
would have been if I'd beaten him, because it was fifty years of Funk.
It was known that I was promoting it. It was known that this
would be my last match in Amarilla, So what are you gonna What are
you gonna think? As a fan, You'll think, Oh, it's his
show, so you know he's gonna win the thing. Our match was actually
the first time I had ever worked with Brent. His dad's too hard,
uh and pretty and much of our hard family came down for the match,
and I really enjoyed seeing them again. So a better night for Terry Funk.
And he goes out like he wants to doing the honors and what he
considered his final match in a city boss where this whole fucking thing began Amarilla.
Yep, uh, it's on of the chainsaw chartlie portion of his career.
Now, of course, we're just a few months from him signing with
WWF and making his debut on the last Monday Night Raw of nineteen and ninety
seven, and for the setting there. In the context there, we returned
to mcfoley's book, because of course, it's the association with mcfoley that creates
the opening for Chainsaw Charlie. In the Attitude erat WWF, Personally, Mick
writes, I felt as if my career was at a crossroads. I knew
that Vince was a big fan of both mankind and the Dude, but I
felt personally that Cactus Jack could draw the most interest in money. But the
return of Cactus Jack in mind, I proposed a somewhat bizarre series of matches
with my old friend and nemesis, Terry Funk, which would culminate in a
Coudi gras of barbarity at WrestleMania. I want you to picture this boss for
WrestleMania fourteen, Okay, m I'd been talking with Victor Quinonez of my iw
WA Japan past, and I asked if I thought death matches would ever go
over in the States. Now. It's just my personal opinion, but I
find blood letting and savagery between two friends to be less offensive than heavy sexual
content, at least when it's done well, I would never propose putting this
type of match on raw, but if it were on pay per view the
disclaimer, then it wouldn't. I mean, that's typical American censorship. That's
the systemic sense nsorship we've been presented. Oh yeah, bet violence. That
violence is much more acceptable than sex and titties on network television on Monday after
righth exactly, which you know is common in Europe. Not common, but
you can find it. I would ever propose putting this type of match on
raw, but if it were on pay per view with the disclaimer, then
I wouldn't see anything wrong with it. I came up with the idea of
the best of seven death match tournament. Magnum Ta and Nikki da Koloff had
enjoyed incredible success with this concept in the mid eighties featuring regular matches, and
I figured the added a lure of danger would complement their concept nicely. Imagined
a press conference where Terry and I would pull these ridiculous matches out of a
fish bowl. Mister Fonk has just chosen a bet of nails match, The
announcer would say, after six matches we picked were picked, the fans would
be allowed to choose the stipulations for the final showdown. Now, I'll admit
I was going to tamper with the votes just a little bit so that the
finale would be a rematch of our Kawasaki Stadium Classic no rope, barbed wire,
barbed wire board CE four explosive exploding ring deathmatch. Can you imagine proposing
this in the WWS ah, I mean I can imagine proposing it. I
can't imagine that it's going to go over. I pictured it an airing on
wrestle Mania via satellite live from Terry's Double Cross Ranch near Amarillo, Texas.
He thought it was going to be a cinematic one. I thought I had
winner on my hands, and I wanted badly to propose it, but first
I had to make sure that I had an opponent to propose. I gave
the Funker a call. Less than a year earlier, Terry had been brought
in for a couple of shows and the Federation had vowed never to use him
again. He had on the air called an announcer a Yankee bastard, an
announcer you can be more specific than that, Mick, and had referred to
Vince as a goddamn sun. I'd prefer if you don't refer to me at
all in your book. The company had been somewhat less than thrilled with him,
but hell, looking back, Terry's verbal rampage had been a precursor of
sorts for the current Raw show. The words he had been reprimanded for were
pretty common utterances for the new Federation attitude, and I thought that maybe they'd
give the goddamn Texas bastard another try. I called Terry up and ran my
idea by him. His answer was simple, Cactus, I would love to
work with you. Again. Came the hard pitching part. Now came the
hard part pitching the idea, Evince. I requested a meeting with a man.
We met along with Bruce Pritchard and Jim Ross after television taping in a
dressing room in Columbus, Ohio. I tried to stress the human drama aspect
over the blood and got although I freely admitted there would be plenty of that.
Also, I also wanted him to know that the quality of matches would
be accounted, and I personally gave him my guarantee that they would be top
notch. I proposed that the series of matches would cover the January, February
and March pay per views, with March being WrestleMania blowout. The other four
tournament matches could take place after television tapings, with cameras still rolling, so
that the highlights of the ring atrocities could be aired. I also speculated that
a home video of the death Match tournament would bring in big money. I
wonder where he got that idea. Vince seemed intrigued, especially with the notion
of a ring exploding at Terry's ranch. We might possibly be able to do
this, the Evil McMahon stated. A few days later, Jim Cornette called
me up, Cactus. Vince loves the idea, but we're going to change
it up a little bit. Corny told me we want you and Terry to
start off as the tag team at the Royal Rumbland January. Somehow you too
have a falling out and Terry challenges you to Texas Death Match right there in
Houston for the February pay per view, and then you'll have the damned to
fight they've ever seen at WrestleMania. It sounded great, but there was one
problem. Vince was planning a huge surprise which would turned out to be Mike
Tyson, and he was expecting a lot of mainstream media to be covering the
event. He didn't think that having two human beings blow each other up would
be the best way to expose our product to this new audience. In retrospect,
he was probably right. They still wanted the Funker, but they wanted
him as my tag team partner. Hell, that didn't sound too bad.
After all, Terry and I had probably done enough damage to each other.
Maybe it was time that we were on the same side for a while.
Now, all he had to do was come up with a way to introduce
Terry to an audience that, unfortunately hadn't been privy to the Funker's exploits over
the last thirty years or so, they told themselves as a big frustration that
Jim Cornette talks about as Kevin Dunnacht and like nobody knew, nobody would know
who Terry Funk was when he came in as Chainshaw Charlie, And as Terry
wrote in the book, when I came back to work for Fince in late
nineteen ninety seven, one of the first things Vince said to me was,
so, how's your horse it's incredible. Well that's your horse, pal,
do it? Okay? Do you touch the horse? Do you mate with
the horse? Are you fucking your horse? Terry Funky is what I'm hearing.
True, is what I saw on my videotape. Truth. Notwithstanding,
Yeah, Bruce Pritchard on the arrival of Chainsaw, Charlie and the WWF.
He didn't want to just didn't want to. Terry wanted to work. And
then if Terry wasn't working, he wanted to be home. He's talking about
why he left it. Terry didn't want to travel, Terry didn't want the
responsibility, and Terry didn't want the bs. And Terry wanted to be his
own man, with his own rules and be able to do it his way.
So if that, if that meant that he was going to not make
as much money, that was with him. He liked ranch, like riding
his horses, he liked being home, he liked going out making the occasional
appearance. But that the rest of it didn't mean that much to him.
As much as it did. I'm not saying it didn't mean anything to him,
but it wasn't. That wasn't life or death to him. Life and
death to him was his family and being happy. So if he was happy
doing X y Z, he didn't give a shit about d E and F.
It's just who he was, Darry Funk. That makes a nod fit
for the WWF though, doesn't it. Yes, it does. And you
can see him sort of being content with this life where he just you know,
makes a trip to Japan for a couple of weeks pockets five figures.
And it's almost like Terry went through wrestling in the later stages of his life
thinking about what can this run by me? You know, like there's a
new need in my life that requires a nice infusion of cash. And if
I just take this shot, if I just work a year for w c
W, if I just you know, work a couple more months for ECW,
if I just go to Japan and blow myself up for a couple of
weeks, then I can check that box. But they but you know,
Terry Funk's lives a testament to the fact that those bills never stop coming in.
They never do. They never do. And so so long as you
tell yourself you're only in the business because new, new, uh new debt
instruments arrive in your mailbox. You're never going to get out of the business.
Yeah, because you live in America, and so you will die in
debt. Right, that's the whole idea. Exactly. You can't live,
you need to do, you need you need, you need to die in
debt so that your loved ones can inherit that correct, And so that's the
reality. And so off to Connecticut, we go off to New York,
so to speak, and uh, here's Terry Funk and his book Boss.
If you could convey this police briefly explaining the atmosphere he found upon returning to
the World Wrestling Federation the first time I walked in in nineteen ninety seven,
the atmosphere there wasn't really very positive. I don't know if the deal with
Brett Hard and Montreal was the cause of interfer was just the WCW was kicking
the w's ass, which it was. There was a definite feeling from McMahon
and from the guys in the locker room that WCW had become the real power
in the profession. Coincidentally, this was also around the time Vince was starting
to make his stuff Corner programming by incorporating some of the Hard edged style that
allowed a niche group by like ECW to make a national impression. I got
ready for my big debut on Raw that Monday night in December, and the
plan was for me to come out of a box. Bruce Pritchard, one
of the backstage guys, was describing to me what they wanted me to do.
I said, that's it. You want me to come out. You
just want me to come out of a box. Yeah, he said,
just come out of the box. Do you want to come out of as
anything? Before my brain could fully process the question, my lips blurted,
blurted out chainsaw, Charlie, give me a chainsaw so I can go out
there there. It is the origins mechanics. I can't explain it. It
just popped into my head. They asked me what I wanted to wear,
and then got me some Levi jeans and a pair of suspenders. I already
had a red shirt, so I kept that. Then they got me a
woman's panty hose stalking and some baby how powered to put on my head.
All that my request. What an idiot, I guess. I could have
just gone out there without without anything over my head, but I would have
had I wouldn't have been chainsaw Charlie with Terry Funk's head, would I?
I'd have been chainsaw Terry? Brother? What big problem? What do you
mean chainsaw Terry? Dude? What? That's why I'm asking you did what?
Brother? What? What do you mean chainsaw Terry? Dude? You're
gonna change something, dude? What do you to cut me? Brother?
I don't understand. What where did you come from? Hulk? It came
from out of nowhere. You're making me nervous. Well, brother, that's
making You're making me nervous to do with the chainsaws? Dude? Who you
cutting? Brother? Who you cut in half? What? I didn't say
anything? Terry? Well? Why not? Terry Terry? Terry, Terry,
Terry Terry Terry Right, Terry? I really I just figured out something
about Hogan. Boss. Hogan thinks that you said something whenever he's talking.
So whenever Hogan utters something, yes, he always thinks that you took that
opportunity to slip in exactly. That's why always goes, what would you slip
in? Brother? Right? Right? What? What? What would you
slip in? Dude? Terry? I didn't slip in anything, brother,
That's the problem. Dude, I don't know what you've been slipping in,
brother, another wedding without your without telling you. Terry, you know,
my my own daughter slipped in the wedding, Brother, She didn't invite,
mean or anything. Dude. What's going on? Brother? What's the deal
dude? Well, Terry, you know, I don't know. I don't
know Brooke at all. I'm not aware of what Brook's uh, you know,
social calendar looks like I'm not. I don't. I'm not privy to
that, brother. What do you mean, privy? Dude? What are
you privy to? You? Brother? That's a very good question. I
don't know what I'm privy to. I'm privy to whatever Vicky says. I'm
privy to you? Word, brother, privy? Like, what the fuck?
Privy? What like? Dude? Why why are you talking big language?
Brother? Well, Terry, I don't. I didn't mean that.
I'm not talking big language, brother, Terry. Wats this? You call
me? Terry? How do you know my name? How do you know
my name? Dude? How do you know I'm Terry? Brother? What
do you get off? What do you get off talking to Terry? Dude?
What do you get off talking turkey with Terry brother ship talking turkey with
Terry. That's gonna be Hogan's podcast. Well, Terry brother, who's this
dude, Terry? It's Dorry Dorry brother Terry? I what Terry brother?
Terry donk Terry. I don't which Terry's Terry Funk? I'm not Can you
can one get tell me? Can one of you direct me to Terry?
Can one of you Terry's direct me to Terry Funk? Please? He's a
brother of mine. Yeah? How many of them are of them? Are
you? Don't we establish that Terry had and Dorry had another brother? As
weird as that is, I feel maybe they have a brother or sister or
something something like sister Terry brother sister Terry, like sister sherriff. Dude,
what's going on? Where's Sherry? Brother? What I didn't talk about?
You didn't expect them to notice that rhymes? Brother? What do you?
Dude? Why? Brother? What are we talking about? Dude? Well,
I'm trying to get to the bottom of that. Hey, Terry can
Terry and Terry? I don't know who either of you are grooming. I
feel like right now, I feel like I'm being groomed. Is someone grooming
me, am I your parents, but I don't see I feel like I'm
talking in my head? Right are you guys? Let's have let's have help
talk to Dory here health. Do you have any questions for Dory on the
line? But I won't know who you are? Dude? What who said?
Hey? Brother? Why I'm the champion? Dude? What do you
mean? But I think you've got the work of a champion? Did I
talk to you? Brother? And it took a lot of wrestling training.
It took a lot of amateur wrestling training, because, well, who's working
amateur style on me? Brother? I didn't get an amateur push? Dude?
What if somebody decides to shoot on you? Well, brother, why
are you what are you trying to shoot on me? Dude? Who's trying
to shoot on me? Brother? Are you shooting on me? Dude?
Champion away from you? Brother, No, I don't always taking my belt.
Brother, I'm Hulk Hogan, Dude. I roll people. Nobody rolls
me up. I roll them, my brother. What has happened, No,
it hasn't happened, dude, on occasion on occasion of what? Brother?
What occasion? Dude? No? What goes into what? Dude?
Why are you being secretive? What days of the National Wrestling Alliance? Some
promoters who work very closely together? Brother, who's conspiring? Dude? Who's
Edda in Florida? Brother, I'm not Territory Jim Crockett, Brother Atlantic?
What Jim Crockett was very close? No territory. Are you talking to Tennessee
Lee? Brother? What are you talking about to the Tennessee Lee territory?
Get together? And who could groom somebody for brother World Championship? Okay,
that's what I want? No, Brother, who's being groomed? Dude?
Who's being groomed? What you are? Brother? What your family decided to
push me for the title? Who? Why? No? No, that's
my belt? Brother. You can't push yourself for the belt. Dude.
I'm at the same time, Eddie Graham had his eyes on a great wrestler
who was doing a great cab in his territory. And it may be a
surprise to some people. He Brother, hear about sud broke my leg?
Dude, you can't have brother. He makes me nervous. Dude, you
make me nervous, Brother, I'll make myself nervous. I had to stop.
That was too fucking amazing. No planning at all. I just toggled
to a random part in Dory shoot interview from our video and he starts talking
about pushes. That's that's Terry right there. Hey, he went to hero
Mat Suda and uh, Terry, Uh, you know, Terry just Terry
didn't know what where to go about from there? Brother? I know what
do you mean? I didn't know where to go about? Brother? I
what do you? What are? Who are you? Brother? Right?
Who am I to you? I'm Terry Hull Hogan brother for my brother.
Why do you keep mentioning? Brother? I mean you keep mentioning? Are
you looking for Terry? Brother? Whether I am Terry? Dude, You're
not Terry. I know Terry. You're not Terry. Terry's not here right
now? Then where am I? Dude? If I'm not here, where
am I? Brother? I don't know where you are, but I know
Terry's not here. Ah, you little motherfucker. I don't know what the
fuck you're trying to do to me, dude. I don't know what you're
trying to pull on me, brother, But you're making me nervous, dude.
You're making me very fucking nervous. Brother, I don't mean to make
you nervous. But I don't even know. But you're you keep calling me,
you keep looking for my brother, but my brother's not here, brother,
and Terry, Terry's not here either. Terry is my brother. And
I don't know what I'll tell you. You know what I want to do
right now is I just want to go get a chicken salad sandwich. Who
why? I want to know where you came you went from? Terry,
Brother, Terry is not here. I'm not here, dude. That the
fact is that i'm your brother, brother, but where your brother is not
here? Brother? Yet I am here, dude. And now you're talking
chicken salad, brother, right exactly, and you expect me and somehow I'm
the one that's, you know, being paranoid by expressing concerns and you're the
you're talking about chicken salad dude, Like, well, you know I'm a
former world champion there. Oh well, brother, I'm a champion, dude.
I was a champion. Brother. While we're who said you could be
champion? Well, you know, there are a lot of guys who groomed
me. I was groomed to be a champion. Pat Patterson was one of
them. Terry, Garvin, Mel Phillips, Mike Tyson. You know I
was groomed by Mike Tyson and Steve Austin. What, Brother, I'm so
worried what the ramifications could be of that? How that could that's relevant to
him? You know? I'm right? Did I get groomed by Mike Tyson?
Brother? I've been groomed? Brother? Well, you know, Terry,
everyone gets groomed one way or another. Sometimes people get groomed by Mike
Tyson. Some people get groomed by Sean Michaels. And I'll tell you the
thing that groomed me the most was was was going was going to the barbershop
with Terry? Brother. I didn't go to any barbershop with you? Dude?
Why are you saying I went to the barbershop? Brother, I've only
been we're talking. You're talking to brudeye? Brother? Are you talking to
Brudus? Brother? You feel? Are you thrown me through the barbershop window?
Dude? You are you cutting my head? Brother? Is it plate
glass? Brother? Brother? Who's hey? Who's let's call brooken? Brall
over here? Brother? Who groomed you? Do? Brother? Who groomed
you? I want to talk to Steve Lombardi. Dude, right, let's
get to Jason. Hey, I don't know. I don't know Steve Lombardi.
I do know that my brother Terry should be coming here any moment.
I'd be a great person, asked Terry Dorry about, you know, go
to a signing. Dorry, what are your thoughts on Steve Lombardi. I'm
well, I remember back in the day I talked to Steve Lombardi. I
knew a Lombardi. I don't know if it was a Steve Lombardi. We
did have a neighbor. We had a neighbor who who was a Lombardi.
He might have had a relative, names football coach or something. You know,
I thought, we I know, I know a Lombardi who was as
a football coach. Never meant to die. I don't remember him doing anything
significant, but I knew I do you know? Besides that, I really
don't remember much past nineteen sixty five. That's kind of where my memory ends.
I don't even know where I came from this morning, well, or
where I'm going to for that matter. Well, Dorry involuntarily memory holes things.
Terry wishes he could here. He is an art a video talking about
the Chainsaw Charlie idea and how he looks back on it and Chainsaw Charlie.
Now are you shocked? God I killed Chainsaw Charlie. I hope I did
it. Thank he's dead. I want Chainsaw to be dead. That was
the most well, that was the most absurd thing that I ever came up
with in my life was Chainsaw Charlie. Chainsaws Charlie was not successful. Chainsaw
Charlie. And I did another one one time for Joe Blanchard Donner. I
came in one week, lasted one week. As doctor knows it all,
it's your occupation, chiro practice. I did seriously, I put on a
mask, thought the hell, this is the hell of an idea, you
know? And that one sucked too. Uh. I guess everybody's going to
have a couple of a couple of sucking creations in their life time, you
know, Well I did. I hope I don't have any more. Kind
of curious that Terry, one of the more successful legitimate actors that's ever been
a pro wrestler, was never really good being anybody else but Terry Funk and
pro wrestling, that is true, ever could pull off anybody else and I
guess that's what we'd love about him, right, I guess yeah, always
getting us right. So, looking back on the Chainsaw, Charlie Genesis Funk
writes in his book one time in the late nineteen seventies, I wrestled once
and only ones in San Anton under a mask as Doctor Knows it All and
Honesty. I thought it was a clever idea to go out one week as
the mysterious Doctor Knows it All. Didn't last long. Since my match was
over, I pulled the mask off. I knew it wasn't working. Another
one that didn't work was change such Harley. The WWF was in trouble in
late nineteen ninety seven. Eric Bischoff and WCW had recruited away a lot of
Vince's stars. Vince Damner lost at all. If WCW had been smart and
hadn't gotten complacent in the late nineteen nineties, they could have finished him off.
They thought they were smart, but he was the one left standing.
And he was left standing because he was forced to push some new names,
and a lot of them clicked with people. One of the ones who clicked
was my Japan and ECW running buddy Mick Fuley aka Mankind dude loving Cactus Jack
ed Mick was about to get a tag team partner. He hadn't yet watched
reached rather his peak as a superstar, but he was definitely getting there.
Jim Ross, the great announcer who had come to the WWF and had become
Vince's right hand man, was the one who gave me the call. I'm
pretty sure Cactus had prompted to him and Vince the idea of us working together.
But hell, if they didn't want me at all, they wouldn't have
called Paige. I agreed to come in because I wanted to help that company.
There's just a challenge to going to a company that's an underdog and trying
to make whatever changes you can to be a part of its improvement, and
I think I was part of it. I wouldn't say I was the swaying
factor, nor did I ever expect I would be, but I pitched in
my two cents. I also wanted to go for Cactus. I wanted to
do anything I thought would help CACTIFS, and I still would now why I
would want to do something for the Big Goof, I'll never know. I
guess I just liked the guy. I was actually supposed to work WWF.
Late nineteen ninety three, they had called me about becoming head booker. They
were doing their big Survivory show in Boston and they wanted me to wear some
silly outfit with a blue mask to be one of Jerry Lawler's nights taking on
Brett Hart and three of his brothers had a big tag match. Their plan
was, but it was going to beat me, then take my mask off
and put his finishing hold the sharp shon, run me and beat me again.
After that, they they said I would become the creative head of the
company, replacing Pat Patterson. My old friend. Patterson had gone from being
Ray Stevens tag partner to being the WWS booker, but pat was looking to
step down and take a little easier. I went to meet with them about
it, and going from my ranch with all the open space to New York
City with cabs and people, the hustle and bustle, was culture shocked.
It was an hour to get there, an hour to get there, It
got an hour to get here. There was no place to go that I
was going to get very quickly. I met with them and had dinner with
Pat and it was great. We laughed and told a lot of old stories,
and I went up to my hotel room and went to bed. As
I lay there, I got to think, and I'm not sure if I
want to follow through with this deal. I got up the next morning left
the note Evince. It read, my horse is sick. I think he's
dying. I'll see you later. A couple hours later, I was at
the airport when I heard from my a call from my name for calling the
airport paging system. I was running by that time, and I came home.
I escaped again. As it turned out, that was when Lawler was
having his legal trouble, so they were replaced him with Shawn Michaels. I
would not have I would have been one of Seawn Michael's knights. When I
came to work for him in late night ninety seven. One of the first
things Vince said to me was, so, how was your horse? First
time I walked in ninety seven. The atmosphere there wasn't really positive. I
don't know if the deal with Brett Harten you already said this, Okay,
I covered this, sorry Ontreal. And then he starts talking about the chainsaw
Charlie idea okay. Coincidentally, this is also the time Vince of starting to
make his stuff counter programming by incorporating some of the hard edge style that allowed
a niche group like ECW to make a national impression. I got ready for
my big debut on Raw that Monday night in December, and the plan was
for me to come out of a box. And this is where he says
he just wanted me to come out of a box. And he says,
Chainsaw, Charlie, like you read, I feel like there's a little bit
more I wanted to convey here, but let's move ahead. This is him
talking about out the Road Dog match that the New Age Outlaws match that they
went on to have at WrestleMania. Okay, let's see Robert James. Okay.
This culminated in a false countmy where a match on Raw where we brawled
all over the place that both tag teams. The match ended with us both
in a dumpster that was going to be pushed off stage. Who a Brian
James, son of Robert James, whom I'd wrestled, no telling how many
times under his ring name of Bob Armstrong was involved. We set up for
it by Cactus tossing me into a dumpster set up on the stage at the
top of the ringside ramped. You remember this, boss, when they pushed
a dumpster off the raw ya Cactus? Oh god, yeah, that was.
That was an amazing moment, really was. They played it ap huge
and we'll look at it here in a moment here. Yeah, the lapsed
funk. Then Cactus climbed up the railings alongside the monitor and delivered a big
elbow on me in the dumpster. It was supposed to be a thrilling,
dangerous spot when Cactus did his big dive onto me. The thousands and thousands
of little styrofoam puffs I remember this put in there for our protection, poofed
up into the air. That was not our idea of hardcore. I guess
it would have rather had just the metal floor on the bottom and killed our
damn selves. Ye Jesus sent that up. A WrestleMania fourteen, he writes,
fifteen, the wwf S Bigga show of the Year against the New Age
out Laws and a dumpster match. But the only way to win was to
put both the opponents into a dumpster ring. We ended up in WrestleMania two
thousand, we did a spot during the match of road Dog power Bomb.
Me was actually Billy gunn into a dumpster from the ring. This meant that
he would pick me up over his head and fling me forward, send me
back first over the top rope and into the dumpster. Below is actually off
the apron, not over the top rope. It was a dangerous spot because
there wasn't much room for error with metal dumpster, but we thought it was
worth it because we wanted to do something memorable for the major event. It
was especially dangerous because I was flying blind, so to speak. Since I
was going backwards. I was pretty much relying completely on Brian's guidance to make
sure I laid it inside the thing. Okay, his guidance was perfectly good,
but what we didn't know was that there was a big two x twelve
plank in the dumpster. Of course, he checked the dumpster beforehand. Hell,
who would think that there would be a huge plank in the dumpster we
were going to use for our match. I hit the board right on the
right cheek of my ass. Immediately a heemotomas swelled up on me. It
looked later like I had a blue watermelon sticking out of my side of my
ass. I damn sure. I didn't feel like moving, but I knew
I had a match to finish, so I got on and on out of
there and kept on going. Still. It was awfully painful, but that's
the kind of thing that happens. The match ended with us putting them in
a dumpster backstage to win the match. Immediately after, I wasn't looking to
celebrate the victory. I went to the doctor backstage. To this day,
I have no muscle tone to the right cheek of my ass. The whole
cheek just hangs there, drooping. The funker, oh my God, leaves
the WWF attitude arrow with a drooping ass cheek, and let's figure out how
we got their boss. I turned your attention please to Disc thirty one,
Disc thirty one, t D thirty one. Where did you go? Here
we go again? What is the time? Cold forty one thirty six.
It's time for the debut of Chainsaw Charlie in the WWF. Now again.
This is available in our archives. It's the December twenty ninth, nineteen ninety
seven edition of Monday Night Raw, where we get a lot more into the
logistical complications of Terry Funk coming out with a sparking chainsaw that he holds over
his head. Gasoline God pours on his fucking head another insanity from that night,
which, of course, it could have lipped the penny hoose on fire
easily, and I think actually very easily did when they parted the curtain after
the segment. But here we go. This is the ill fated WWF debut
Chainsaw Charlie December twenty ninth, nineteen ninety seven. That's at play in three
two one play, Cactus parked the curtain for the first time in a while.
Of course, we're heading into the ninety eight rumble where the three faces
of Foley. Well, all, yes we are. And there was a
big spot in that match, wasn't there where Cactus and Terry mix it up.
Yeah, well, they open it up. They open the match up.
The Outlaws in New York Rangers jerseys and hockey sticks are in the ring.
It fully hits the ring and Cactus Jack Garbman a barbar bat. He
goes right in to the right hands of road Dog and Billy Gunn, his
partner. Having it to be revealed, do you remember this raw vaguely.
Yeah, I back when you could just bring a sign promoting your business to
show you those are the good old days man. Yeah. Just when I
see this ninety seven rods like, I still don't feel attitude here. I
still feel like, like, I know, WWW still winning and winning so
hard. Yeah, but like I see, I can always think back to
the time when I was like, when I was like, because the storytelling
quality was so good, I didn't really think, yeah that W was still
winning the war. Yeah, if you didn't know that's interesting, like if
you didn't read any websites to know who actually was winning, no idea changing.
Yeah, I felt I felt that, like in late ninety six,
early ninety seven, like that this was more. This was obviously when like
W was obviously winning the war. Boston Dex does it again. Off the
apron, Cactus drops a big elbow and road Dog halfway up the aisleway,
bang banging away. They're making reference to the fact that Chainsaw Charlie is here
already, but we had to see him, so this appears to actually be
a one on nine match between Cactus Jack and the road Dog. Road Dog
with the short hair looking like he's got that justin Timberlake hair. Yeah he
does, looking like Michael Rappaport. Yeah, folly with the classic wording clothes
line. Both spill over the top of the floor. Back then the tables
were so much closer to the ring they really were. Cactus stalking road Dog.
Well, Billy Gun sneaks up behind and picks up a hockey stick baseball
bat, the barb wire bat, but he gets cut off before he can
swing it in while get ready sickening coming up a road dog absolutely wearing a
chair over the top of the head. There is no dqu apparently, I
guess. So those weird tights that Billy Gun would wear at this time,
like the rock like as Techi type things you know back in the ring.
Fully shot off the ropes, but catches road Dog with a double arm ddt
rolls him over cover to no bill Billy gunn And now now you go,
Russo has the pencil here. They spent all this time talking about being no
DQ right or freeze discretion? Yeah, well no good, save Jr.
Again. Just closeesline Cactus out of the ring, and Cactus is walking up
the aisleway saying, come on, come after me, bring it because he
knows he's leading them into the lions down of the chainsaw man. You see
that big wooden box off to the left of the entrance, way up on
the stage, looking like the leg lamp from Christmas Story. I know it
really does. I mean though, funny enough like anything. Oh that that
was his cue, right, yeah? I think so. He just smacked
road dug into it, into the box and then here comes the chainsaw cutting
through. You know, funny enough, like what the contents of this wooden
box or anything? Butt for gla. Yeah, it's listening as Funker opens
up the box, just like ECW. That's where they got the idea.
By the way, him comes up out of the box and give it.
Sure, he's having a hell of the time opening it, and he does.
Looking on it. He looks horrifying. Sparks flying the chainsaw, billy
gun backening up down the ramp, his chainsaw Charlie with a long John red
shirt overalls. Oh my god, he's swing everywhere. He's totally playing leather
face here from That's exactly where he got it from. Yeah, come on,
folks, but like we're talking a real chainsaw. Yeah, well it
was his gimmick. To not turn but still shoot sparks. But how did
he cut through too? So we had a real one to cut the box
open, and then you'll see him hand off to a gimmicked one and he
left the other one on the floor of the box. I see. Still
this one's full of gasoline so we can create the sparks and is holding it
over his head and spilling gas all over the place. We're gonna stick with
it past this segment because now Chainsaw Charlie is here. It's like Terry Funk
to me. Yeah, I know, he's throwing such a nut. We're
just standing there like, what the fuck is this doing anything? You can't
entertain? Oh my god. So now we're going to go over to the
January twenty sixth, nineteen ninety eight RAW. That's right about this time of
year. I think this is the first Chainsaw Charlie and Cactus Jack first New
Age Outlaws match. Back then, of course, the Outlaws were WWF Tag
Team Champions members of Generation Next, but not quite yet, yeah, not
yet member. They would meet members until after WrestleMania officially, although they would
team up with uh Triple H and Wright Savio Vega, but it was supposed
to be Sean Michaels at No Way Out the February pay per view, which
has Terry Funk across the ring from them teaming with Stone Cold, because right,
exactly, that's something. When did Terry Funker a team with Steve Austin
so road Dog doing his whole promo. They're both wearing Catcher's masks and there's
a chef from South Park side in case you forgot what year it is.
Yeah, right, still the traditional tag belts that matter. Oh they had
those for a long time, longer than the other two, that's for sure.
Oh you didn't know so fast? How did how did fucking road Dog's
hair grow so fast? That's a great point. It's just a month later
he's got dreads after the cactus music, here he comes baiting Dan Dan danned
Dad and he stumbling around. Yeah, like he walks with like the the
chainsaw is so heavy. The same we can see is they replay the debut
of Chainsaw Charlief. You can see him switch off milling show. They just
got right to the match, because of course they get right into it,
really gun punching cactus up the steel rampway while Terry Funks in the ring working
over road Dog. Those fucking grandpa jeans that he's wearing too, so deranged
looking locked soup lay Funk with the jack. His hair is so massive.
Now from from a month prior, what is road Dog's hair? It's massive.
Yeah, that's actually a great call. How he pulled that off.
Maybe they're extensions. And I remember that wide ass ramp they used to have.
Oh yeah, cacked a sup plex billy gun on the ramp and then
kicked him down it back in the ring. The Funker didn't bother mixing up
his offense try to mask his identity. These are classic Terry Funk moves,
duding the hangman's noose. Oh look at this, Harry Funck. He says
it right there. I see. I knew they said it pretty early on.
I remember when they said that a little bit note in some circles,
as Terry Funk say it's name to deal with the fact that people would know
who he is, and he hasn't made his bones in the modern WWF.
And so a low blow attempt by Cactus, which, for some reason,
probably because he's wearing a baseball cup, Road Dog was able to blow off
that Billy Gun hits a cactus in the head with a tag belt and now
working over Terry Funk and his chainsaw Charlie Garb in the middle of the ring.
That's a testament to Terry Funk that you bring him in trying to rename
him something and eventually you got to change your mind. Held wide open as
the Funker swinging at nothing and falling on his ass. Geez, they're on
Monday Night raw. It's like such prime conditions for Terry Funk to enter because
they haven't shown signs of life yet. From a rating standpoint, right,
just seems like so dour. He's like Terry like specializes in distressed assets.
You know, he's like, Yes, he's the guy you bring in right
before you file for bankruptcy. I mean, it's probably a wise idea for
him too, because like you know, they can't. He can't. You
can't blame a decline on this exactly because you're already declining. But you know,
if you do get started getting better, you can always say, hey,
he helped Bunk. Still fighting like hell, grabbing Billy Gun by the
shirt and throwing looping lefts. But the outlaws are all over the Funker here,
it's gonna be yep. Oh, it's a wonderful time in wrestling.
It really is. It really is being so cold out when the show happened,
like yep, and there's just you know, everything was like unpredictable and
it was exciting and you feel like anything was gonna happen at any moment.
Pump comes back up, swing and grabs the headlock, shot off by the
road Dog. Tackle down goes the e O double G as Funk stumbles around,
references on commentary to Stone Cold and Austin having a confrontation that's still to
come, but he was due to appear at the Rumble, of course,
side headlocked by the Funker and road Dog with a high delayed backsop play rocks
the Funker. That's right, his face turned around. Ten Circles finally makes
a tag to Cactus Jack, who comes in swinging again, taking bumps,
befitting the best athlete in the WWE. That's true, chairs he is.
He is so unpredictable and so dangerous, turning the Outlaws against each other.
Now Big Double Arm DDT on Billy Gunn. Meanwhile, Jesse James takes off
from the middle rope here's Funker throwing chairs in even did he hit road He
threw a chair jesus fifteen feet. Here comes another. Oh my god,
he's not even like he's just like tossing ship Jesus, Terry. The other
chair is Billy gunn backdrop out of the ring. Road Dog charges with a
chair, gets a kick back in his face by cactus. Chair is still
landing on the prone body of road Dog. Oh fully pulls the cup out
and kicks him in the knight. He took the fucking cup out. I'll
help us chairs of the head of the Outlaws, both on the floor and
in the ring. Cactus crowding road Dog, Terry hitting Billy gunn ah elbow
off the apron with a chair. This is that beautiful time where they had
the scratch attitude logo in the corner of the screen. Ye put the yellow
logo on the tables, yep. And now the mannible claw from Cactus Jack
has put on referee Jimmy corderis so apparently that was a disqualification that Mick jumped
off the apron. He did it again, started smacking together in the head
with weapons. No one said a word and then just decided arbitrarially that one
of those attacks was the d H. Well, if they attacked the referee
or but they dec after who knows still put in the chair show. Maybe
he just lost and maybe he'd lost enough patience in control. So they're wearing
that road Dog with more chair shots. And now they're covering Oh no,
when you cover an opponent with chairs, and this is road Dog, this
is Bob Armstrong's little boy. The first time Funk Moon salted on a little
pile of chairs, who was underneath them? Boss well at bar bombshronk,
Yeah, we go funks in the Moon's all un raw noh, he sacrifices
it all. He just hit it like he hit Oh my god, they're
right on his shoulder on the pile of steel. Bunker came to the WWF
to sacrifice and to matter. Yep, Jesus bunks up cross legged again.
We can freaking one more. I don't know if that's when he's signaling or
not. We take another look at the removal of the cup and the kicking
the nuts by a cactus chare over the head of road Dog. See right
there, he lands that, and then they call for the bell. Ah,
Funk Jesus moon Salt for the industry, terry moonsalt, because without that,
we don't care about you. Is that guy in the front rows like
screaming, Ah God, to go back to this air of Raw? That
was January twenty six, nineteen ninety eight, And it's important to remember that
before before they went for the tag titles together, Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie
actually had a match against each other on Monday Night Raw. And that's what's
up next here from the February two, nineteen ninety eight addition to the programs
Jesus, Oh my god, here comes Chainsaw Charlie pushing a complete bin of
gimmicks, tables, up chairs, garbage cans in there only an attitude af
would you beat each other? And they noticed beat each other senseless at a
no DQ match before going for the belts to other. Yeah, what what's
the fucking America balloons for? What the what are the America balloons for?
That? I couldn't tell you. That must have been some segment earlier with
it's back when oh my god, look at him, the addressed from the
presidential podium that was a ninety seven yeah right here, Well, oh my
god, supporter. Okay, Kevin Kelly, oh boo fuck fuck Moon Salting.
They keep replaying it. It's because it's horrifying because I'm not a kid
anymore. Jim buttressed with what type of legacy I'm going to leave this sport?
You don't want to go down to history as the guy in the toget
WrestleMania nine? Do you you want to go down in history as the greatest
play by play man that's ever announced a mask? You want to go buy
the toga guy wrestling at nine Good Time? Ten years ago, after a
match in Columbus, Ohio, I'm just a twenty two year old kid,
impressionable kid, just overjoyed to not be sleeping in my car. I came
back from the match and the world heavyweight champion at that time was waiting for
me with anger in his eyes, and he says, don't you understand nobody
cares about you, and no one cares about that high flying stuff. You'll
be in a wheelchair by the time you're thirty. He's going to care.
And I'm sure he doesn't even remember that moment, but I have not forgotten
it for a single day. And I love, dude, love he's a
hip cat. But when people mention the name Mick Foley, I want them
to remember what they're going to see in that ring tonight. If I I
was due to be in a wheelchair by the time I'm thirty, then I
guess I'm on borrowed time. So if I've got to go, it's damn
sure going to be going down swinging a cactus jack. And who knows,
maybe he'll be tonight with this man right here, Terry, what are your
thoughts? Well, my thoughts are this, Jim. If there's a lot
riding on this match tonight, a whole lot riding on. Oh you know,
Jim, whoever wins this match is going to be King of the hard
cores. And all of my life, I've been a hardcore wrestler and that's
what I want to go out as. And it's not that long till I
go out, and I've got the opportunity to do it tonight. And I
love you like my own son, but not tonight, Kac, because when
we get in that ring, we may go out together. Pantyse face Now
he's showing his face in the pre role. Yeah, yeah, Terry Funks,
still taking the time to put panny hose on his head and cover it
with baby powder to go to the ring. What's the problem. So yeah,
an extra extra wide BFI dumpster being pushed out now by Cactus Jack for
this hardcore match. Terry Funk wielding a chair, and there's the all the
popcorn there, Yeah, the styrofoam coming out of the dumpster. They meet
on the ramp and here we go, they go. Why did they fight
just for the reasons they just outline in that pre roll because they have to
just for kicks, pretty much, because they wanted to prove that hardcore has
a place or whatever and compete against each other to see who's going to be
the king of it. Terry aren't already down on the still rampway. Cactus
lands a big chair shot and he's gonna garbage bag full of god knows what
trash I guess is there snow, Look at the look at the Look at
the floor there. I think that's just the ash of the burn marks or
the pyro shooting off underneath it. Okay, I mean it's weird. Jar,
Yeah, I know it is weird. It looks like it's been salted
for the winter. Yeah, it's it's like a thin layer of snow on
it. You know, cactus with the double arm DDT on the steel grating.
That must not have been fun to bump that stuff. So this is
a this is false conny way. I mean, look, oh maybe okay,
so I guess that's I don't know, total mess. Near the aisleway
here is Cactus negotiates up a ladder. It's going to suplex it down on
a Terry Funk's prone carcass. Jesus, you just had that wonderful you know,
catch classics with set Heart And now he's months before this, and now
he's wearing this outfit and getting a with JR. Saying they fought in Bingo
halls and bingo halls. Yep, we're in Indianapolis for this one. Inside
Cradle and look at there, gonna roll down the ramp together in cradles.
It's gonna work out quite as planned, But it's funny. It's so funny
yet, spotyhead. Oh, when I hadn't tried to do a rolling down
inside cradle, brother, what do you mean inside cradle? Dude? Solding
down brother, Big jabs by the Funker and the left drops Cactus signature punching
flurry there from Terry Funk because he loads the ring up trash cans from the
the rep the receptacle he brought out here and boom right into a shot to
the head with the trash can, goes to Funker. Another one on order
here Terry's selling his ass off. Oh boom into the fucking old man dome.
There he goes. It's dumbles the ropes. It's kind of wild think
these two wrestled singles matches against each other in WWF Yes, really forgot about
it. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Funk doing the drunk man stumble
Cactus with a can high over his head and oh, Cactus can't do it.
Her hands, Cactus, he saw that the garbage can. He's saying,
do it, damn it, come on, damn it. Terry hits
the ropes and he can't do it. Dully hey fully and now he's wearing
him out with the trash can. He throws it a his even basically gives
him a big splash with the trash can on the canvas. Bringing the pain
is the Funker on USA Network. Cactus with a big back elbow puts down
Terry. Yeah, Jesus trash can on his head. Now Terry's head didn't
fully stomping it. What could him stand with the trash can in the national
television Such a ship shot of his fucking mind, always going to pile drive
him with his head in the can. Oh my gosh, oh fu.
He was like suspended air. This fight it's gonna continue. They're gonna last
find out when we come back. Cactors go ahead, which oh, now
they're in the rampway and Funk's gonna wear the ladder necklace and spin around with
it. Just keep hitting fucking Foley Jesus off. These buddies like to fight
their tip team partners. Anything goes in this match. This is exactly the
kind of match that Terry Funk Funk with plunder galore here, who's the king
of the hill, who's the man? And these type of matches. Funk
with a steel chair now up near the rampway. On the rampway, I
should say to have this matchup. They wanted the one on one matchup,
they wanted no horse parts, and they're getting it here tonight. They're crazy.
They brought the party gifts with themselves. Cactus Jack brought that dunster full
weapons weird. I remember, I have these really vague memories of seeing this
when it happened, but I also feel like I've never seen it. It's
it's such a strange combination. Yeah, I know what you means. Now,
there's a table on the ramp. On the the ramp, Terry's gonna
pile driving, but he's backdropp from the table into the dumpster and Mick pushed
out oversize Jeez look pacts with the mandible claw, trying to put Terry to
sleep inside the dumpster. Now, what's gonna do Jesus, Charlie Parker requested,
Oh my god, I forgot he jumped off the trunk. Oh yeah,
he does jump off the ladder of the stage. He climbs the actual
trussing on the perimeter of the tron. It's on a ladder. Jane saw.
Charlie's inside the dumpster and Cactus is standing on the truss at the bottom
of the Titan tron and he takes off with the elbow and there goes the
poof. No, No, I don't think the poof is that bad.
Does it make it look cartoonish to you? Uh? No? And now
this is where those bastards the new Age laws strike, they creep out.
They close the dumpster with both men inside. Takes a hell of a long
time for them to negotiate it, seriously, tying the lid shut as best
they can. What do these men have in mind? I shudder to think.
H m hm. Both seem to be trying to figure out what to
do. Yep, we look out over the edge here we get boy,
they're looking. I think it's signed for some sacrifice. Oh boy, either
Jim for the ride, they get pushed the road. Jesus Christ. There's
people in there. Thus people in here too, outlaws looking down like what
the hell did we just do? That'd gonna be personality. Got Patterson,
Brisco officials out here trying to open this thing frantically. Even Mark Merrow and
other wrestlers are out here. They really put this over as a serious angle.
I remember being a big fucking deal. Yeah, because they have this
whole element of, like, you know, people legitimately panicking over it.
Wrestlers that have nothing to do with these two are like rushing out here or
trying to get them out. Yeah. Michael Michael Cole somberly addressing the fall
there's own heart of all people. We can hear the s from the crowd.
When do you want the ambulance? I think that was Bruce Pitcher who
said that Sergeant Slaughter, the commissioner at the time of w w F,
is out there. Oh yeah, that's porcherd given stage direction ambulance in three
minutes, stayed with them. Yeah, somebody do something. We look inside
the dumpster. They're covered and white popping. You know, I've never seen
anything like this. It hacking peanuts. Well, it's a whole hell of
a lot over the line. We've gotta We've got to get a lot of
folks are here. Nick Pauley and Terry pug both have a great deal of
respect in this business, and they're very much respected here in the w w
F. But no doubt they're professional professional cactus jacks change Sawky. They wanted
the match. Who's the king of the hardcore. We're gonna show you how
this whole thing kind of got started. There you say, cactus jack up
play off the tron Jacks standing boom and there then the opportunistic new age laws
and this is off the rent I selling by Mike Jim Corderis there some of
you they have been fortunate enough to be in a car accident, and I
don't want to turn your head. Here in slow motion, human beings are
in a dumpster, and I hope there's not some idiot there saying, well,
they learned how to fall this is uh is j R. Deploying Then
they know how to fall. Line they put this over, big man,
Yeah they didn't. I remember this being one of the kind of the key
moments of early ninety eight. There's a lot of a lot of the boys
Terry stuck, whether over a couple of commercial breaks, which is a huge
commitment to the angle, A legend in this business, to say the least.
Cactus Jack certainly a one of a kind human being. I'm just and
Jerry Lawler looks to be that. Vince McMahon himself is out there, look
at that in front of the Outlaws, like, what the hell did you
do? What does the matter with you? Guys? There's sons of bitches.
What do you have to hear? It's phenomenal, man, it's good
stuff. Yeah, yeah, I forgot that Vince himself got involved, yep,
dressing down on the Outlaws, yep. A quarters, but that obviously
talking with the new way Jackwais. You could hear Terry is screaming in there
and of the dumpster. Hey, look at Terry's old Puerto Rico chum Savio
looking down Yep. Television ratings and competition and all that stuff. Jerry making
reference to the Wars. Obviously, these two men packed this Jack and chainsaw,
Charlie, Jesus, we gotta shout at Terry's convulsing hand. Look at
him work. Oh wow Ah. They zoom in tight on Terry's shaking hand
as they go to a commercial break, and we're still with it. Jeez.
Now Terry has been taken out of the stretcher. He's got a neck
brace on. He's being loaded on taking on the dumbstter I should say it's
been loaded onto a stretcher. Those men off the edge of the stage say,
crying going on. Look at look at Tammy Sitch crying for the wow
crying. She's crying because she's high. Well there's that too, Yeah,
she's crying because Terry was her connect for tonight. Terry Newar We're in town
to get the drugs. The race, you know, the new the tag
champions are arametic scrambling the strap, Terry Downald Gurney, look at Terry.
Tammy Sitch crying her eyes, holding Terry's hand, look at this like he's
out of his tenth bed. It's wild. Getting over a term that the
wrestlers use to get over with their peers and get old get over using choop
terminology as well. Just uh, too much cactus being loaded on as well,
and there's a commotion. Oh if Flash Funk wants to fight the outlaws
over this ship and they're holding him back, Lash Funk would go on a
team with Terry Funk and wwf that's so good holding back Funk like he has
nothing to do with Flash Funk. He has nothing to do with it,
you know, with Terry on screen, but he wants to kick his ass.
It's awesome. And Vince of course makes it. You know, he's
he's so money. Yeah, totally. Every officials out here trying to stop
the whole thing is so mesmerizing with the You see a tight shot of Cactus
with the big ass neck breaks on Terry Funk as well. Oh, now,
brawl's breaking out there we go. Looks like the Headbangers and some others
attack and the Outlaws. Ship's on. Do an angle like this again?
Man, they never go this hard, just committed over a break. It's
just not gretty enough. The TV is too slickly produced. It'll look phony.
Ken Shermrock out there. Oh e've ben Kevin, Kelly Pinces in the
next trying to break up the brawl or something. Individuals or in very crazy
Terry can't stop shaking on them. They're given him oxygen, so money,
Jesus Christ. They get thrown off a stage in the dumb store? Did
they get fucking firebomb with poisonous go? Look at Terry. His old face
is covered in medical apparatus better than Paty Hose. I guess you're right,
actually one, you're on raw tonight here in Indianapolis, Jactus, Jack and
Jane saw Charlie let On. In most circles is Terry Pump great friends one
on one in a match up. They wanted a match. They love each
other. They wanted hardcore. They got it, traveled together, but they
wanted to fight who's the king of the the hardcore matches. They had their
match and us Terry Funk with the help of Flash Funk being lifted up the
Flash Funk, the the third Yeah or fourth brother of the He's the lands
Fine Erica, the family favorite ambulance has been backed right up out of the
floor here next to the rampway and with the help of Miguel Perez, Savia,
Vega, Mash and Flash Funk, Terry is loaded into an ambulance.
Not to mention unfortunate situation, Sonning keeps crying, there's cactus being wheeled off.
It's a hell of an angle. That's one thing about being a They
take a lot of pride and how hardcore they are. This is what hardcore
gets you, oh jem with tomoralizing games, this is what hardcore gets you.
Absolutely not. And this before Coley came off the top of the cage,
so numerous people hadn't seen it all yet not fathom anything to this degree.
It has stopped this program in mid stream again. For those of you
that may be just joining us, we'll show you what what happened here here
again Cactus Jack showing the elbow again in front Yeah, fearlessly dropping the elbow.
The hell of a way to build a dumpster stipulation or dumpster match.
So then the lid was tied shut and here's what the New Age out Laws
did blatantly pushing that dumpster rod off the stage. Michael Cole mentioned about a
ten foot drop slow in the h dumpster going off the edge. They set
a table up so it landed on tables, but it did tilt way too
much over it CD ofver heels. It didn't fall straight down, so it
went a little bit tilted a little bit past the center point yep, which
must have rattled them pretty good in there. Tammy such an absolute mess as
the ambulances take off here. That's how you do business, I guess.
So it's a little tough getting it out of here. And this is probably
the most hideous shot of all. Show you this, uh, I understand,
we have this shot. Look at the reaction of the new Age total
heels. Both those men have children. You know how it's going to be.
Both of those men have children. I am proud of your daddy,
have no idea the condition of these two man. We willemy go all in,
We'll be right. How far crazy angle and so of course it's going
to lead to the dumpster matchet at WrestleMania. But before we get there,
here is Terry Funk reflecting on working with the Outlaws and you know they had
the Pavlovian promo. Oh you didn't know. And the crowd shows up in
this attitude era. What do they show up to do? Boss? They
show up to play the hits, right, they show up to to play
their part, and you know being you know, the b side of a
lot of the stick that doing. Yep. So here's the Funker on a
shoot interview commenting on what he started to be noticing about changes in the business
when he was working against the Outlaws in the WWF. They just want the
simplest of things. They want to hear the same thing over they want to
hear. I mean, here's two guys that are here's Rod Dog, who's
capable of doing wonderful things on a microphone. But the people dictate to us,
the fans dictate, but they just want the same thing over and over
and over, and they don't want anything else. But I mean, here's
the guy. I mean, that's what's so absurd about this time and restling,
because here's a guy with this wonderful talented can spout out all of this
craziness and stuff forever. The fans don't want it. They want to hear
the same thing so they can do the same thing right with him and repeat
the same lines with him. That to me me, way did he call
that change in the business or what Jesus I mean? That would become the
whole defining characteristic of the attitude era, showing up looking at channelong, looking
to be a participatory audience. And of course that got totally out of control
as the years went to the point where the what chant overwhelmed years of WWE
promos without I mean Steve Austin here in the vicinity, and yeah, he
still does, still does at times. Yeah, it completely can take.
It take on a life of its own to this day. And here's Terry
saying, you know, this is different like when I when I showed up
on a town people didn't expect, didn't feel dissatisfied if they didn't see me
do the exact same stick that I did last time. I had to make
sure to do a different stick because if you did the same one every time.
I guess on the microphone as well as in the ring, it's phony.
It's like you know you're what you're You're here to see the the globetrotters
or the the circus do their thing and in a pre prescribed program as opposed
to just live in the moment and feel like you're seeing these people reacting in
a real way. So it's interesting that if all the opponents Terry Funk worked,
it was the New Age out Laws and ninety seven who you know,
knowing Brian James could cut a hell of a promo that really laid bare to
him that you know, you're not even if you're capable of doing very organic,
wide ranging interviews, that's simply not what the business wanted you to do.
That's not what kept you paid and kept you over with the fans at
that point in time. So we're gonna go to wrestling. Oh, it
was like it was like show short term memory stuff, you know, like
that's basically what it was. It was the attention span. Yeah, yeah,
it was. People would watch raw, they'd watch the crowds react and
have a ton of fun to their you know, cues, and when you
went to the show, you felt like it was your turn. It looked
like fun to watch other people do at other crowds, So when they came
to your town, you showed up so that you could do it too,
and it was like a party, and it was sort of like it,
just it was less about wins and losses. It was less about showing up
to see who left with the belt that was still there. But the people
would have been equally satisfied if all that stuff was ignored and they just got
to do their chance and they got to pop in the entrances and the guys
hit the finishes that they wanted to see, the big finishers, and that
was pretty much it. I mean, that's the conditions in which the Rock
became the Rock, because he took that to its like logical extreme, where
every other thing out of his mouth is like a prompt to the audience.
And to this day when he comes out, even when he came out on
day one on Raw and did the this side of the building says this,
This side of the building says this, The people still kind of, you
know, see him as a monument to that era in wrestling where it was
just sing along with the Rock, you know, play along with the characters,
yep, play your little role, and the matches are so deeply secondary
to that. But this did build to a match, of course, WrestleMania
fourteen, Boston, The Night Stone cold Steve Austin becomes WWF Champion for the
first time, Shawn Michael's doing the honors, though not without a pity fit
or a hissy fit, I should say, and disappearing for years as far
as in ring, and it's a monumental show, and Terry fun found himself
and a key part of it. It's Cactus and Chainsaw versus the Outlaws,
bost in the same file which is yep, it's thirty one, We're going
to move to one fifty three forty seven a sample not only the WrestleMania fourteen
match, but also the very next night on Raw and what I consider to
be the oh yeah, greatest Monday Night Raw of all time. The concluding
match, Let's not forget Terry Funk finds himself in the middle of industry shifting
angles and moments and matches once again. They take on the Outlaws in a
rematch in a cage in the main event, at which point it's revealed that
XPOC, who had returned to the WWF earlier in the show, which was
a huge shot across the bow in the Monday Night Wars because he was one
of the first after Jeff Jarrett to go over there and come back to go
to WCW, take the payday, and then come back to WWF. Yep,
and that was huge. That's sent a huge signal as far as you
know what WWF was able to muster at the time. And then uh,
and then the Outlaws join the Degeneration next to very end of that show,
forming the X table. That would be so definitive to the Attitude era.
So for at one fifty three, forty seven and here we go three two
one play. We got nineteen thousand ringside here at the Fleet Center in Boston,
and our booking is gross one million, twenty nine thousand, two d
and thirty dollars. It's the highest grossing event in the history of Boston.
Man, this is this is the turning point this show. Sure, it's
amazing to be there for this. Well I have I'm a little busy right
now, if you don't mind. As they roll the dumpster out to ring
side, big grossing event in the history of Boston. I guess he means
wrestling in Boston, all all events. I assume he means ww F events,
but here it brings side all events ever, NBA Finals, NHL Finals,
and here he comes back on WrestleMania for the first time since nineteen eighty
six, where a team with his brother, and he's not even Chainsaw Charlie
anymore. There is Terry Funk in the red bandana that band rather well he
is, but just not with the face thing. Yeah. Yeah, he
still has the chainsaw flanked by cats and they call him Chainsaw Charlie and they
you know right see they added the WW logo to the transition the wipe there.
Yeah, what's your problem? I guess you're right. It was always
there. It's always been w I just weren't paying close enough attention. Get
the blurred out T shirts at ringside so crazy, so fucking ridiculous. There,
I am up there on the hard cam where the pinpoint. But I'll
try. When someone goes to the top rope on the left, the far
left corner, you can see me. But on the hardest cam shot it's
just a little too low. I'm right above it. There comes the Outlaws
with that sing song entrance I mentioned. Oh he hadn't he didn't have it
down yet, No, I didn't. It was still it was still he's
still putting it together. But he did have mister ass back when they were
still doing airbrush T shirts. It was ten rows behind Jr. Wow,
where are you now? Yep? Incredible to think about that. This is
so wild to me. I mean I'd never been to a show. I
never been to a wut BIF show, any show at all. Wow.
You can see me there, white T shirt. My brother's to my right,
to my left, rather right there with a blue jacket. Left one
had a black hat on to wear that hat on fucking day and night.
Here we go, Here we go, and the matches underway. WrestleMania fourteen.
Terry Funk is back on the grand stage here his old pal Foley.
So this is what we ended up with instead of the originally proposed exploding barbed
wire boss, Well, I prefer that. Hey, yeah, yeah,
I don't think. I do remember that, the buzz and the speculation about
that. I remember hearing that they were going to a barber and match it
no way out. I don't know how I heard that. Running knee from
cactus smashes a road dog's head against the dumpster at ringside. Well, Billy
basically hits a stunner on Terry Funk across the top rope. Now, why
is it taking a stone colds heat. It's a great question, especially in
a show where I love he's going to use that hold to become champion for
the first time. For talk of Mitch Noko versus on this show, it's
basically a casket match, Yeah, very much. Do you have to put
him in the dumpster and roll to the back? Oh? I don't think
so. I think dumps are just there to use. You don't need it
to win right now. You got put him in the dumpster and close the
lids. Oh really, that's the win when you close Yeah, I'm pretty
sure. Remember that. I thought it was like a stretcher Matchere you have
to hug him a stretcher and then cross a line. No, I don't
think so. Comes to make first big bump of the night. Here we
go. Oh, front flips throws himself into the wall of the dumpster.
So stupid. There's something Billy Gunn was supposed to do. He was waiting
on it, Billy to do something. He didn't do it. Well,
Billy did it. He was Billy was waiting to do the baseball slide.
He's the one who you know. He kicked road Dug out of the way.
Oh, that's why he did it to move his partner. I say,
okay, yeah, funk into the rail now and funk his backdrop,
dump back drop. It's half over. Jerry says. It's just not the
compliment itself. Up the aisleway now, cactus sent into the dumpster side Russian
legs. Wee bit of the dumpster by the Jesus Christ. Just do that
in a railing too, man, those crazy flowery bird it just throw his
body at the dumpster, Jesus coctus. Now they're putting their heads there we
go edge. They're shutting the lid of the dumpsters on the back of their
heads. They're draped in position like guillotine almost remember and blum that's crazy.
Or someone had a big ass WrestleMania sign like the the old gold WrestleMania sign
that just he replaced wrestling with Austin yeap so good. Billy has a bunch
of nose somehow, brother rip off the shirt of the funker and start going
to town with chops it again, son of a tell me again, you
stop ship, come on hit me again. What do you think this is
a dance? I love how they're never peeking into the dumpster with the camera.
What do you think this is a sock hop son of a Biteah that
on your head, didn't you, Terry? I don't think Cactus emerges from
the dumpster, blocks the lid shot and then puts a mandable clow dog for
twenty see it says in a shirt. Damn right, yep, just too
cool for us. Oh yes, where is that idiot chainsaw? There he
is with a Hey, I found myself a cookie shit. I'm gonna go
ahead and hit your in the goddamn head, Billy, I asked. Terry
emerges screaming billy ass, screaming fucking hey, hey, ask gun, I'm
coming for you, piece of shit. Hey you said wrestle, We need
to hear then? Yeah, yeah, Jay I recalling the last time he
was out the Funker on the Grand Stage. Every would have thought he'd be
back all these years later, especially in this incarnation. Oh there's Jared's Muscogee
Muskogee. There. I ever went there and got my yellow sign in front
of me, man said icon, suck on it Hagman's noose by the funker.
My sign got taken away from me, did it? Really? Yeah?
I had? I had uh an Austin three sixteen sign and no,
I said it was a Steve Austin sign. I said, pure unsaturated wood
mass with two you know, two hands, given the bird and like a
beer can of whoop ass, phenomenal the word unsaturated them there. Well,
I just very carefully, yeah, and it uh. They they took it
away because of the because of the fingers, which is hilarious because like that's
all that's Steve Austin's gimmick. But they were still a nile kind of about
the direction. They sell the fucking foam fingers of him, of the of
the fucking middle finger, but they're gonna take away my, my fucking sign.
They were still acting like that wasn't the direction. That seems like right.
Terry just got a broom like a like a dust pan and threw it
up. You got thrown in the ring, and you just threw it back
out of the ring. Now the ladder's in play. Cactus is climbing the
ladder. They went through this matchup where they going, where are they going
to the question what's this ladder doing? Up here? We go he Kerry
bump in the head backs into the ladder and they've destroyed the dumpster. They
can't use that dumpster anymore. This is why they go in the back because
they they ruined the the covers. Yeah, they had him had damn thing
clothes and they bumped right through the roofe what hllacious ride that with very fun
ahead. This is where Funk takes the horrendous injury. You see Billy Gun
loading up the power bomb. I guess he was kind of right that road.
Doug was responsible for guiding his body. See. Oh and that's where
Funk lands on a two by four in there? Why is there a two
by four in there? That's his point, you know, huge power bomb.
I remember that was like the big moment in the match to me is
when he did that. Yeah, it was. It was a sick match
six a sick moment, right that that strange L shaped dial away they had
that year yep yep, which they used to do it for Summer Slams and
stuff, you know, yeah, true, Remember Summer Slam ninety one had
that weird I don't know, that's a good question. Where are where the
hell are they going? We got to get a recordable showing the big ladder
bump again d X rated Remember that Yep. This was d X rated because
d X was raiding the WrestleMania. Of course a Funk there's j R.
They know how to fall. Yep. Wo oh geez. Dinner was such
chaos. All the catering there, the kitchen guys, Come on, folks,
are they're guys in there? Sweets? Were getting food security guys like
all right, folks, Hey, hey, hey, why don't you two
guys calm down? All right? You know what is this ship? Billy
goneag all over there? You have Billy Gunn and Billy Gonne got it right?
Yeah, you know you clowns. You you sitting here. You know
I thought what you did. I thought what you guys did was fake,
like a real chair shot to me. Remember those big ass buckets of powery
ch and Terry Funk is driving a fucking fork left, God help us.
That was guy's name, Chang Saw Shaali. That's what we used to call
my brother. Right not in dow Chester. You know just how I got
him. He's lifted up on the forklift at the Funker is driving the Outlaws
around backstage. It doesn't matter what as long as it's a dumpster. He's
trying to control the things. So they roll off into the dumpter and they
just do it on their own. So crazy, well fled shut Terry Funk
lifting the outlaws on a forklift, dropping him in a dumpster. He's gonna
there, he goes, he's gonna leave it there. And now he's dropping
the shaking. Yeah, we got He's punching the dumpter like he's insane.
He's now he falls, he's back looking, Oh my god, I remember
it, kind of being a bum You can pop for them in the arena.
Yeah, i'd say, Terry's banging his head into the dumpster now celebration
of course. And this would be Terry Funk's first and only WWF title belt
too. Yeah, but it's true. It's fucking crazy man, hardcore legends.
Indeed, this is the highest grossing event in the history of Boston massass
See, the highest grossing event ever. So go to the March thirtieth,
nineteen ninety eight Steel Cage, Blue Bars. I was so bummed about this.
What was your hope? I didn't want I I've never really been a
fan. Wow, what did you funk? Having this back the night before
the day after and you can see how wide and read that back injury is.
Oh, it's got big ass fucking like poison ivy. Then wait,
where are their belts? Why don't they have their belts? It's a great
question. I'm sorry I couldn't hear you. Why were you bummed? I
was bummed because I've never been a big fan. I mean, on certain
occasions it's okay, but I really was not a big fan of like twenty
four hour title reigns. I don't like that. I don't like them changing
the title. The only time I've ever liked it was Brett Hart losing the
night after Final four because I couldn't stand Brett Heart and Austin winning back from
Kine because I was like, Kine should never be with such a hot show,
you know, after that only. But besides that, I've never really
I don't I don't buy it. I don't like it. Yeah, yes,
your ass better call somebody south Park shirts and this being on Monday nights,
they saw in one yet in the ratings, No, not yet,
still a couple of weeks away. That'd be April, whenever Vince wrestled Austin
for the first time. I'm gonna say it was like three weeks after this
one sounds about right, yeah, because Mitt H. Foley has to go
away as Cactus and come back as Yeah, this is the end of it.
This is the end of his run as Cactus and then yeah, And
I think they were like, yeah, I'm pretty sure that there were three
a few weeks of Austin, you know, the Austin McMahon stuff building up.
So the Outlaws under the ca Agent We're underway made event on raw tag
titles on the line of the cage just the last time you saw the blue
Bars too, I think no, yes, yes, it is blue Bars,
Yes, yes, because now they used him on a ninety ninety eight
Austin the October ninety eighth show. I think too. Roustin threw Mark Henry
around on the pre show. I seem to remember that blue bars or was
it black bars, because I know that did change it to black bars maybe
a onetimes because like the what do you call it? The same Valentine's Day
massacre had this kind of cage, but it was black bars. Oh tree
of woe for Billy Gun with his legs over the top of the cage.
Double suplex by Foley and funk Pot on the run off the Elbow to the
upside down Billy gunn Funk gutting it out getting in the ring in that condition.
Man, you saw the back. I always preferred this cage, Oh
well by a mile to me. Just felt so violent to me, absolutely
wow by Billy Gun took a nasty bump. Remember the first time I saw
the WCW cage, like you know, that was the chain link cage.
Was the first time I ever saw the WW cage or the first time I
ever saw the chain link cage was in W CW, and I was like,
Oh, Terry swinging on anybody who moves, grunting, mounting Billy Gun
with punches. Meanwhile, road Dogs thinks it behind the Funker and starts choking
with the belt. Terry floiling about, Oh Rocker dropper, the famous sir,
if you will buy Billy Gun on cactus. Terry threw the ropes up
against the cage wall, getting pummeled, abused, his T shirt tattered and
ripped. This is where they handcuff him, right yep. Laws working to
handcuff Terry Funk to the cage wall is they tied him king to the cage.
Can't move Funkers flailing one arms free the other one's locked down. Oh
it's by his neck. That's right by his neck while they hot shot Cactus
throat first across the top rope, looking at this road dog slapping Terry Funk,
who can't move an inch because his neck is to the cage wall.
Jesus, what are you compelling imagery there? Double whip Foley stops in a
dime and DDT's both outlaws. Hey, w he hey, road dog,
chain me up by my neck? Same me, shame me, ba hme,
wrestle me. Let's do some chain grappling with real chain. He's in
d a. All of a sudden, All of a sudden, fucking Bryly
comes down fully catapults Billy Gun into the wall. He eats the wall and
stumbles into a right hand, and Terry Funk still manages to throw despite being
chained by his neck. Hey, why ain't gonna help Terry not die before
climbing out of the cage. I know, because then you know you can't
if you both guys have to leave the cage. Cactus, it's just he's
just not thinking out there. Cactus and Billy Gun battling on the top rope
and Billy Gun knocked down lands crotch first on the top and here come wait
a minute, the Triple H China X POC. What are they doing out
here? Oh sean wallman cracking this several times in the head. He is
hanging over the top of the wall, trying to make a run for it
China, distracting referee Tim White. And they just fed a chair into the
ring of the Outlaws. There we go. And how revolutionary is this?
I mean, think of the stuff this sets in motion right totally up spike
pile driver on a steel chair by the Outlaws to Cactus Jack. Terry Funk
still strapped to the wall, helplessly hanging there trying to prevent himself from a
worm by Billy a road dog under the cover two three, And just like
that, the Outlaws are tag champs again, Triple AH and XPOC entering the
steel cage. It's amazing that Terry Funks found himself in the middle of this,
too happy he did, fucking helping to get it over big time with
his body language. And like he's like the compelling victim there hanging there like
that, yep, take it up now, working to tie his hands down
as well. Are China and road Dog channing for Austin. No, it's
not quite the plan had agreed by Triple H on Cactus Jack and they're just
laying waste to the former tag champions. Put the pieces together, and this
was the night that the d X that we remember from the Attitude era was
formed. Some crotch chops for the Funker Bronco Buster by x poc. Look
at that. Billy gets up on the ropes and just starts punching the helpless
Terry Funk on the head. It's like Shina taking over the rain Olka Terry.
Look at him, he's fucking furious, talking shit even though he's hog
tied. Oh my god. Triple H completely dense a chair on Cactus's head
and embraces Billy Gunn once again. Cactus to thank for the big angle,
taking the punishment to get it over. Always always he's on to do it
first to you Austin as well. In just a couple of weeks, and
that was a closing image of all four of them climbing the wall of the
cage. Ww dot com DX Music playing Wow