Hey, I'm back with something for you to think about. I know I
kind of talked about this before, but I'm gonna explain why significant others offer
you a pass. They offer you a pass for several reasons. One,
they want one. They wanna pass, so to get one for themselves and
not feel guilty about it, they ask you or they offer you a pass.
Two, they really don't feel about you the way you feel about them,
so they offer you a pass because they wanna do what they wanna do
anyway, because they don't feel about you the way you feel about them.
Three, they're so desperate for your love they'll do anything for you. They'll
do anything that they think will help them to keep you, so they'll even
off of your past. Well, let me tell you this. All of
the reasons, and I'm sure they're probably more, but all of those reasons
our excuses. They are because number one, a person who cheats, they
don't need to get a pass from you because they're gonna cheat anyways. They're
gonna cheat anyways. Trust and believe they are going to cheat anyways, because
a cheater does just that. They cheat. When a person don't really feel
about you the way you think they do because some of you are, Oh
you're so sure. Oh he loves me, I know my man loves me.
Oh she loves me. I know she loves me. The whole time,
they treating you like crap behind your back. Some of them treating you
like crap in your face. So just imagine what they're doing behind your back.
And then that individual who really want to pass, but they want you
to have one too so they don't feel so guilty about taking theirs. Come
on, if you are in a relationship with someone and it's so unhealthy that
you feel you need to offer a past or ask for a past, you
got a problem. You have a problem that you should have worked on long
ago, because taking a past most times, listen to me, most times
causes more problems. It causes more problems because a lot of times it's like
when people choose to bring in a third person or s or they choose to
swing or whatever. Most times it causes issues because that other person may do
something that you're not doing, or they may do something better than what you
were doing. So now your significant your significant other wants more of it.
But with past, it's supposed to be one time that's normally the rule,
and then with bringing in third people or the third person that normally that's not
supposed to happen without the other person. But when you get into that world,
things do happen without that partner, your significant other, And then trouble
starts. More trouble because you obviously have trouble to get to that point,
but more trouble because now you're seeing that individual without your significant significant other,
knowing you're doing things behind your significant significant others back that you agree that you
wouldn't do. Now you're doing those things behind their back because of these pastes
you that you agree to. That's why I think they're terrible. I wish
somebody would say, can I have a pass? Yes, you can boot
boot, pass right on by me out that door. That's the only past
you're getting with me. Pass right on by me out that door. Because
one thing I will never ever accept and allow again in my life is for
any man to not appreciate me and think that I'm not enough. I don't
need no one if that's the mindset that they have. But so many people
settle because you just want someone, even if they are a nasty, no
good joker and I'm talking about a male or a female, because females can
be nasty. No good jokers too. I'm just telling you the truth.
It don't sound pretty, and it's not pretty, but it's still the truth.
Be careful of what you open yourself up to. Be careful of what
you open your relationship up to, because once you do it, there's no
going back. You can't undo what you've done. If you step out on
a pass, or if you bring in a third person or a fourth person,
whatever, you can't undo it. And I'll tell you this without a
doubt. Men hold on to things in a different way than women. Let
me say it again, Men hold on to things in a different way than
women. Women or we can go through something with you and we can forgive
and move on. I'm not saying that we forget, but we can forgive
and move on. But men, huh, it's a whole different ball game.
Men don't forget their women being with another man. Oh, they can't
live it down, they can't stomach it that. It's hard for them to
handle their woman being with another man. But oh, they can be with
another woman all day. They're supposed to be okay with you. As a
woman, but they can't handle it. They hold things in totally different than
a woman. It's very important to be careful and mindful of what you open
your relationships up to, because if you open up your relationship for foolishness,
that's what you're gonna get. If you make your significant other things you love
them beyond loving yourself, meaning you will do any thing for him or her,
you're gonna find yourself doing just that anything. They're gonna treat you like
bub boo dog pool on your shoe. That's how they're gonna treat you because
you allowed it. You taught them they could treat you that way. It's
what's going to happen. That's why I always tell you be careful of what
you open your relationships up to. Be careful of what you open yourself up
to, what you allow into your life, because what you allow, what
you accept, that's what you're going to get. And I'm telling you thinking
about it is nowhere near the feelings of going through it. You can think
about it all day and it may feel good to you in your mind,
but when you go through it personally, it's a whole different beast. You
must learn to love yourself, make yourself more important because significant others they see
when you show them that they're your world. Number one, you're wrong because
nobody should be your world. I don't care who it is. No one
should be your world. That's why people cannot keep going. When people die,
or when they break up, or whatever happens, people keep going.
They break down, they stress out, some commit suicide. What kind of
stuff. Because you made that person in your world, You made them your
everything. You made them know that they were far more important to you than
yourself. When you open yourself up like that and you let your significant others
see that, anything, anything they do, anything they say, anything they
want, whatever it is, you will deliver. You will let them have
it. You don't care if it's something that you hate, you still will
accept it. Oh my gosh, you're gonna have a hard time. You're
gonna find yourself miserable. Because baby, let me tell you something, and
you could take it to the bank. And the pot of this, how
you start out, it is how you're gonna finish. If you open yourself
up to foolishness, that's gonna be the very thing that drives you away.
Whatever that foolishness is that is gonna be what drives you away if you also
gonna pass. Like I said, a lot of times people continue doing things
that they shouldn't do, and because of it, sometimes people break up.
Oh you were unfaithful, Well, they were unfaithful when they had to pass.
I don't care that you agreed to it. They were still unfaithful just
because you okay them doing it. It's still being unfaithful because they're in a
relationship with you. So when you open yourself up, when you allow that,
when you give an okay to that, a lot of times people are
not ready for the repercussions. They're not ready. They can't handle it.
And bringing in third people and four people, four people or whatever in your
relationship. It has ruined a lot of people, a lot of people.
So you get to know you, love you, understand who you are,
work on yourself, heal from all of your unresolved issues. You will see
more clearly. You will see way more clear than you've ever seen in your
life. And you will love yourself, not even negative, pompers, narcissistic,
egotistical way, but a healthy, wholesome way, in a way where
your eyes are open and you're not led by your feelings, wants, and
desires and emotions anymore, because the things that you thought were so important,
you realize they're not as important as you thought they were. When you love
you and you figure you out, to know who you are, and you've
dealt with all of your mess, oh, your eyes open and you see
things that you didn't see before, and you will not let anyone do whatever
they want to you anymore. You will not allow and accept the foolishness anymore
because you know you deserve better. You understand your worth. You don't look
to people to validate you because most times they can't because they got so much
inside they can't even be happy for you. They cannot give you your due
because of what's inside of them that's blocking them from being able to do that.
So a lot of times people look outward to other people, but they
don't get what they're looking for because those people are broken, they have their
own unresolved issues. It's just a mess. It's a total mess. It
truly is. You have to want to be the best you that you can
be for you, not for him, not for her, not for your
children or anyone, for yours because guess what, The only person in this
entire world that you cannot get away from is you. You can and get
away from you. That's why it's important to be the best you that you
can be. When you have to be by yourself, it won't bother you.
You have peace with then. Unfortunately, so many people neglect self,
and therefore they don't ever get to that place of peace because they're still on
the wheel living life the same, allowing and accepting foolishness in their lives to
be with someone who's not worth their time of day at all. But oh,
I love him, But do he love you? He sure don't act
like it the way he's talking to you. He don't act as if he
loved you, the way he treating you. He's doing this and that behind
your back. He's treating you bad in your face. She don't love you,
She just want what you have. I mean, you have to be
honest. I told you months ago. People love their significant others according to
what they want, not their significant others. The individual you love according to
what you want. Most people fail to see what they're actually getting and what
they actually get him nine out of ten times is not love at all.
But you can't see it because you're blind. You're blind, you cannot see
it. Many people, many are in unhealthy, unhappy relationships because they have
unhealthy hearted minds and they don't love self, but they think they do.
Most people you ask, they really think they love self. But I've always
challenged you, and I will always challenge you. If you want to know
if you love yourself, sit down and look at your life. What are
you allowing and accepting in your life from other people, especially especially your significant
others, your children? Also, what are you allowing and accepting in your
life from other people? Some of you will do anything just for people to
be in your life, and you find yourself doing just that anything, accepting
anything, going along with anything, because everyone and everything else is more important
than yourself. That's a hard life to live. That's an unhealthy life to
live. You have to want the best for you, not in a selfish
way, but in a healthy way. You get from people exactly what you
accept and allow, that's what you're gonna get. So be careful when you
offering these passes and you're agreeing to swing or whatever it's called, be careful
because you more than likely will not like the repercussions, the consequences. More
than likely you will not. It seems all innocent and all of that in
the beginning, but most people don't really think it through to the other side.
So that's all I'm gonna say on this episode. Thank you for listening.
Please go check out Relatable Life Chronicles. I appreciate you so much much
love to each and every one of you. Please share I in every episode
the same and I hope I really do. I hope you do it.
Thank on it