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Hey, I'm back with something for
you to think about. I know I

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kind of talked about this before,
but I'm gonna explain why significant others offer

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you a pass. They offer you
a pass for several reasons. One,

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they want one. They wanna pass, so to get one for themselves and

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not feel guilty about it, they
ask you or they offer you a pass.

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Two, they really don't feel about
you the way you feel about them,

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so they offer you a pass because
they wanna do what they wanna do

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anyway, because they don't feel about
you the way you feel about them.

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Three, they're so desperate for your
love they'll do anything for you. They'll

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do anything that they think will help
them to keep you, so they'll even

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off of your past. Well,
let me tell you this. All of

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the reasons, and I'm sure they're
probably more, but all of those reasons

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our excuses. They are because number
one, a person who cheats, they

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don't need to get a pass from
you because they're gonna cheat anyways. They're

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gonna cheat anyways. Trust and believe
they are going to cheat anyways, because

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a cheater does just that. They
cheat. When a person don't really feel

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about you the way you think they
do because some of you are, Oh

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you're so sure. Oh he loves
me, I know my man loves me.

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Oh she loves me. I know
she loves me. The whole time,

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they treating you like crap behind your
back. Some of them treating you

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like crap in your face. So
just imagine what they're doing behind your back.

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And then that individual who really want
to pass, but they want you

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to have one too so they don't
feel so guilty about taking theirs. Come

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on, if you are in a
relationship with someone and it's so unhealthy that

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you feel you need to offer a
past or ask for a past, you

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got a problem. You have a
problem that you should have worked on long

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ago, because taking a past most
times, listen to me, most times

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causes more problems. It causes more
problems because a lot of times it's like

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when people choose to bring in a
third person or s or they choose to

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swing or whatever. Most times it
causes issues because that other person may do

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something that you're not doing, or
they may do something better than what you

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were doing. So now your significant
your significant other wants more of it.

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But with past, it's supposed to
be one time that's normally the rule,

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and then with bringing in third people
or the third person that normally that's not

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supposed to happen without the other person. But when you get into that world,

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things do happen without that partner,
your significant other, And then trouble

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starts. More trouble because you obviously
have trouble to get to that point,

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but more trouble because now you're seeing
that individual without your significant significant other,

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knowing you're doing things behind your significant
significant others back that you agree that you

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wouldn't do. Now you're doing those
things behind their back because of these pastes

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you that you agree to. That's
why I think they're terrible. I wish

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somebody would say, can I have
a pass? Yes, you can boot

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boot, pass right on by me
out that door. That's the only past

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you're getting with me. Pass right
on by me out that door. Because

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one thing I will never ever accept
and allow again in my life is for

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any man to not appreciate me and
think that I'm not enough. I don't

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need no one if that's the mindset
that they have. But so many people

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settle because you just want someone,
even if they are a nasty, no

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good joker and I'm talking about a
male or a female, because females can

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be nasty. No good jokers too. I'm just telling you the truth.

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It don't sound pretty, and it's
not pretty, but it's still the truth.

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Be careful of what you open yourself
up to. Be careful of what

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you open your relationship up to,
because once you do it, there's no

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going back. You can't undo what
you've done. If you step out on

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a pass, or if you bring
in a third person or a fourth person,

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whatever, you can't undo it.
And I'll tell you this without a

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doubt. Men hold on to things
in a different way than women. Let

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me say it again, Men hold
on to things in a different way than

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women. Women or we can go
through something with you and we can forgive

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and move on. I'm not saying
that we forget, but we can forgive

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and move on. But men,
huh, it's a whole different ball game.

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Men don't forget their women being with
another man. Oh, they can't

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live it down, they can't stomach
it that. It's hard for them to

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handle their woman being with another man. But oh, they can be with

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another woman all day. They're supposed
to be okay with you. As a

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woman, but they can't handle it. They hold things in totally different than

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a woman. It's very important to
be careful and mindful of what you open

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your relationships up to, because if
you open up your relationship for foolishness,

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that's what you're gonna get. If
you make your significant other things you love

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them beyond loving yourself, meaning you
will do any thing for him or her,

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you're gonna find yourself doing just that
anything. They're gonna treat you like

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bub boo dog pool on your shoe. That's how they're gonna treat you because

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you allowed it. You taught them
they could treat you that way. It's

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what's going to happen. That's why
I always tell you be careful of what

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you open your relationships up to.
Be careful of what you open yourself up

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to, what you allow into your
life, because what you allow, what

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you accept, that's what you're going
to get. And I'm telling you thinking

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about it is nowhere near the feelings
of going through it. You can think

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about it all day and it may
feel good to you in your mind,

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but when you go through it personally, it's a whole different beast. You

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must learn to love yourself, make
yourself more important because significant others they see

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when you show them that they're your
world. Number one, you're wrong because

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nobody should be your world. I
don't care who it is. No one

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should be your world. That's why
people cannot keep going. When people die,

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or when they break up, or
whatever happens, people keep going.

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They break down, they stress out, some commit suicide. What kind of

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stuff. Because you made that person
in your world, You made them your

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everything. You made them know that
they were far more important to you than

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yourself. When you open yourself up
like that and you let your significant others

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see that, anything, anything they
do, anything they say, anything they

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want, whatever it is, you
will deliver. You will let them have

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it. You don't care if it's
something that you hate, you still will

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accept it. Oh my gosh,
you're gonna have a hard time. You're

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gonna find yourself miserable. Because baby, let me tell you something, and

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you could take it to the bank. And the pot of this, how

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you start out, it is how
you're gonna finish. If you open yourself

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up to foolishness, that's gonna be
the very thing that drives you away.

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Whatever that foolishness is that is gonna
be what drives you away if you also

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gonna pass. Like I said,
a lot of times people continue doing things

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that they shouldn't do, and because
of it, sometimes people break up.

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Oh you were unfaithful, Well,
they were unfaithful when they had to pass.

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I don't care that you agreed to
it. They were still unfaithful just

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because you okay them doing it.
It's still being unfaithful because they're in a

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relationship with you. So when you
open yourself up, when you allow that,

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when you give an okay to that, a lot of times people are

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not ready for the repercussions. They're
not ready. They can't handle it.

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And bringing in third people and four
people, four people or whatever in your

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relationship. It has ruined a lot
of people, a lot of people.

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So you get to know you,
love you, understand who you are,

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work on yourself, heal from all
of your unresolved issues. You will see

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more clearly. You will see way
more clear than you've ever seen in your

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life. And you will love yourself, not even negative, pompers, narcissistic,

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egotistical way, but a healthy,
wholesome way, in a way where

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your eyes are open and you're not
led by your feelings, wants, and

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desires and emotions anymore, because the
things that you thought were so important,

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you realize they're not as important as
you thought they were. When you love

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you and you figure you out,
to know who you are, and you've

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dealt with all of your mess,
oh, your eyes open and you see

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things that you didn't see before,
and you will not let anyone do whatever

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they want to you anymore. You
will not allow and accept the foolishness anymore

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because you know you deserve better.
You understand your worth. You don't look

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to people to validate you because most
times they can't because they got so much

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inside they can't even be happy for
you. They cannot give you your due

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because of what's inside of them that's
blocking them from being able to do that.

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So a lot of times people look
outward to other people, but they

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don't get what they're looking for because
those people are broken, they have their

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own unresolved issues. It's just a
mess. It's a total mess. It

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truly is. You have to want
to be the best you that you can

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be for you, not for him, not for her, not for your

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children or anyone, for yours because
guess what, The only person in this

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entire world that you cannot get away
from is you. You can and get

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away from you. That's why it's
important to be the best you that you

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can be. When you have to
be by yourself, it won't bother you.

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You have peace with then. Unfortunately, so many people neglect self,

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and therefore they don't ever get to
that place of peace because they're still on

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the wheel living life the same,
allowing and accepting foolishness in their lives to

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be with someone who's not worth their
time of day at all. But oh,

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I love him, But do he
love you? He sure don't act

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like it the way he's talking to
you. He don't act as if he

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loved you, the way he treating
you. He's doing this and that behind

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your back. He's treating you bad
in your face. She don't love you,

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She just want what you have.
I mean, you have to be

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honest. I told you months ago. People love their significant others according to

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what they want, not their significant
others. The individual you love according to

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what you want. Most people fail
to see what they're actually getting and what

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they actually get him nine out of
ten times is not love at all.

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But you can't see it because you're
blind. You're blind, you cannot see

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it. Many people, many are
in unhealthy, unhappy relationships because they have

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unhealthy hearted minds and they don't love
self, but they think they do.

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Most people you ask, they really
think they love self. But I've always

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challenged you, and I will always
challenge you. If you want to know

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if you love yourself, sit down
and look at your life. What are

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you allowing and accepting in your life
from other people, especially especially your significant

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others, your children? Also,
what are you allowing and accepting in your

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life from other people? Some of
you will do anything just for people to

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be in your life, and you
find yourself doing just that anything, accepting

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anything, going along with anything,
because everyone and everything else is more important

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than yourself. That's a hard life
to live. That's an unhealthy life to

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live. You have to want the
best for you, not in a selfish

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way, but in a healthy way. You get from people exactly what you

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accept and allow, that's what you're
gonna get. So be careful when you

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offering these passes and you're agreeing to
swing or whatever it's called, be careful

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because you more than likely will not
like the repercussions, the consequences. More

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than likely you will not. It
seems all innocent and all of that in

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the beginning, but most people don't
really think it through to the other side.

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So that's all I'm gonna say on
this episode. Thank you for listening.

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Please go check out Relatable Life Chronicles. I appreciate you so much much

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love to each and every one of
you. Please share I in every episode

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the same and I hope I really
do. I hope you do it.

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Thank on it