So, Paul, this is coming out in December, but in the real
world, we're still in November. And I just saw this video on Instagram.
It's an Ina Garten video where she's trying to give people tips on what
you can make ahead of time for Thanksgiving so that you're not rushing around the
whole day, okay, trying to you know. And so they were already
had my schedule, said Erica, thank you for the recommendation. I don't
need it. Ah ah, I already had everything written out schedule. That's
cute. That's so cute. I just show up position. But so the
person interviewing her was asking her like do's and don't and blah blah blah,
and she was saying, like, what would you want people to bring to
your Thanksgiving? If they offer to bring something? And I know, very
very kindly, was like, oh, if someone offers to bring something,
of course I say yes and say bring a dessert. And I was like,
who in the world has the hootspah to bring food to Aina fucking garden
Thanksgiving? Who out there in the world is like, is like, you
know who? Stuffing is perfect? Mine? You bring a bottle of wine
and that's mile and that's it, and an appetite and maybe some to go
containers take leftovers. No, I think she saw that and they're better than
yours. There's no way unless you're maybe Martha Stewart. Yeah, the only
other person who can I can be. I can see being like I've created
to go containers for you. Thanks Martha. I can't get over it.
I'm like, I need to know, I need to know who I want
names I want. What did they bring to your house that they thought Paltro
and she brought like Apple Strudel that they thought, you mean her child,
just like strud Hey, I'm Paul and America and this is that aged well
holiday edithes December, dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh,
hiding in the closet, getting drunk by yourself. And also Yesterday's Pop Culture
Today that the whole new I just do a whole fucking song song and then
get to like Yesterday's Pop Culture Today really breaking people's brains. Ah, Erica,
it's December. It's twenty one days to Christmas. Oh my god,
have you done all your shopping yet? No? Because we're recording this in
November. Correct, I've only just begun to think about my nephew's presence.
I only buy for my nephews. That's it. Yeah, my family is
a really smart thing because we're all adults and everyone just buys their own thing
that they like, and so we just pick a name and we only have
to buy for that one person and it's excellent. And except for the poor
slove who always gets my grandfather who's ninety six and hates everything. We can't
like, not include it, feel bad, but he hates everything. Erica,
we have five star Apple podcast reviews, two short ones excellent. Do
you want to read first or should I read first? Read first? Okay,
ladies first? Ladies first, or second? Trollop second. I love
the name of this review. This person hot Sandy. Hot Sandy. You
know what appropriate for this episode. Yeah, that's true because we're talking about
a hot Sandy today. Sandy also sounds like a little bit like a sex
act. I think this is this is the Sandy at the end of Greece.
That's what they're going for. That's hot Sandy Sandy. And what is
the hot Sandy sex act? Pill has to do with the beach? When
you get a hot Sandy it's when you get a hot sandy. It's when
you're it's when you're it's when you're getting buried in sand and it fels you
don't feels so good. But they leave your genitals exposed so they can you
can do sex stuff with Oh, and then the waves lap on your on
your genitals and that's how that's what. It takes like hours, but eventually
climax that way. It takes a really long time, but it's so worth
it. But it's so worth it. It's a Kama sutras or. I
think sex right, Yeah, I think Sting does that on his private island
every year. Sting In and Trudy are doing came up with the hot sandy.
Yeah, Sing and Trudy are doing hot sandy to each other, hot
pioneers. I always love that Sting's wife's name is Trudy. I don't know
why that makes me laugh one hundred percent. I love that Sting's real name
is Gordon. Gordon and Trudy that's their names. That's actually like the weird
neighbors in Suburbia. That's not that's not Sting and his wife who have four
hour orgasms of each other. Ha ha ha, Well, Hot Sandy says,
screaming with laughter. I started with a bang. For my very first
episode I listened to was the Mommy Dearest episode. Good thing I had my
windows up while driving because I was literally screaming along with the hosts. We
did scream during that one quite a bit. So much screaming us, crist
I am not one of your thanks for the laughs. Must listen. It
sounds like Hot Sandy is one of our fans. Yes, yeah, and
also a fan leaves reviews, you know, like one of my favorite ones.
Oh, you play favorite everyone more than people who joined the patriarch A
hot Sandy, by the way, I love your interpretation. But what a
hot Sandy actually is is it's a threesome where you all get in a in
a steam room together and you make a sandwich and then it's a hot Sandy.
It's a yeah, it's a it's it's a it's one of those sandwiches
that you dip in jew. You know what I mean. Oh, I
love a sandwich chip dipped in jew. I'm not even being gross now.
That is fucking delicious when that happens. You know. Also the Hot Sandy
Peter Gallagher and the o C Sandy and he is hot in Hot Sandy.
That's a hot Sandy. Yeah, we also haven't. We thought this was
going to be short, but we've gone on for five minutes about Hot Sandy
and the first view. We also have a review from Erica ninety two seventy
three. She's from the future. Pot we really hit it big. Erica
says, don't listen to this if you're trying to fall asleep. Fair again,
we scream. I have made the mistake of listening to Paul and Erica
at bedtime too many times. I always end up laughing so hard I never
get any sleep. I'm having so much fun reliving movies from my childhood,
and I look forward to each new episode, hopefully enjoying them bright and early.
When you pop out of bed getting ready for work, putting all your
brush in your teeth, you may spray the mirror with a little bit of
a toothpaste residue, but that's much better than not getting get any sleep.
We want you to sleep. We want you to get your good eight hours
of beauty sleep every night unless something in the future. Maybe have a pill
you can take so you don't have to sleep. Oh there you go let
us know Erica nine two seven three. What is the future life like the
Jackson said it would be? Is Judy Dench still alive? I bet she
is? I bet she is hot? Sand the Erica ninety two seventy three.
Thank you so much for those reviews. We so appreciate them. If
you would like and that ah weel topeg, please just reach out, let
us know this is you, and I will send it off for you.
Erica. What is the very first holiday film in this the Year of Our
Lord? Twenty twenty three. Today's film is the nineteen ninety five romantic comedy
While You Were Sleeping. While You Were Sleeping was requested by Alison, by
jan by Satana, by Lee, by Sabrina, by Emily, by Maggie,
by Mara, by Rebecca, by Jenny, by Sophie, by Mackenzie,
and yet still more people whose names I could not determine from their social
media profiles. So this was a big hit. People wanted to hear this
one number one with a bullet wow for December easily well, number one with
a bullet. Oh, I'll show myself out. No, No, I'm
done, No, you stay here. This is exactly the energy I want.
There's nothing I like more than wordplay. While You Were Sleeping was written
by Daniel G. Sullivan and Frederick LeBeau. It was directed by John Turtle
Taub and its stars Sandra Bullock, Bill Pullman, Peter Gallagher, Peter Boyle,
Glennis Johns, micol Mercurio, Michael Rispoli, Jason Bernard and a Jack
Warden. It's a really solid cast. Peter Boyle do a little deep dive
one day. Fascinating person, best friend with all the Beatles. Who knew?
I did not know that? Yes, like really interesting guy. I
bet you the Jack Warden and Glennis John's had so many stories, oh yeah,
of old Hollywood, Like it just must have been the most incredible group
of people to be around all the time and just like soak in the energy.
While You Were Sleeping was originally set in New York City, but was
changed to Chicago for budgetary reasons. It was once called coma Guy, but
that title didn't stick. Fair. You know what, Some studio executives earn
their money, That's all I'm saying. Every once in a while they do
stumble across a good note. Yeah, even a broken clock. You know
what, I'm saying ball I do, I do. And it was originally
about a man pretending to be the fiance of a woman in a coma,
but that setup was deemed quote unquote to predatory too overboardy I mean predatory.
I mean whatever studio executive was doing this one nailed it. Yeah they're not
currently working for the AMPTP. I don't think. Yeah, no they are.
They are a fucking genius because they fixed a broken movie and made it
this one, which was not broken. Not broken. Erica While You Were
Sleeping has an eighty one percent critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a seventy nine
percent audience score. It has a seventy three percent critical rating on Cherry Picks.
You know, I kind of see that. Don't don't turn on the
audience. Okay, I don't like this movie that much. Okay, I
want to, I really do. It has all the ingredients of a movie
I would love, but I feel really like tepid towards it. I wonder
if it's literally because it's not in New York. I'm thinking if this was
set in New York and you to see your beautiful New York City and around
Christmas, I think that would have been the added spice that was needed.
It was a little bit of salt that was missing a little bit. Well.
Also, I was telling you this off Mike earlier, but I think
I've written a better movie in my head, and I will tell you that
movie later. Yeah, but my movie's better than this movie, and it
has all the same characters. We don't have to lose anyone. But like
I made some tweaks in my mind, full disclosure. Better. She's right,
she has written a better movie in her head. It's a good movie.
Yeah. Again, I have nothing against this movie. I kind of
I kind of like it. I enjoyed watching it, but I was I
was really disappointed in myself because my response was so tepid. I total I've
had movies like that where you're like, I want to love this more than
I'm loving it. Yeah, I was more on this, like I loved
this movie. I love this movie when it came out. I won't get
too far ahead because I have some fun story from some fun stories about the
first time I saw it. But like, I'm more on the eighty one
eighty five percent and you're probably more on like the seventy percent scale of the
yeah, yeah, like it. Like I see like moments where you can
just like tweak the film to make it a little bit better. I think
I disagree with you. I think Chicago at wintertime looks very beautiful. Beautiful
enough, is it New York? No, I just obviously I'm not saying
Chicago's not beautiful at Christmas time. I'm just saying that our personal connection to
New York, like we see when Harry met Sally and we see New York
and we're like in love because it's our home, it's our place. Yeah,
Oh, Chicago's coming for you, Paul. I think they're coming for
you. Well, I said Chicago was beautiful, and you were like,
no, it's a dump. That is the rewriting of the facts. That's
exactly what she says. This is. I'm gonna release this unedited. I'm
gonna go through the notes once again. I believe what you said was Chicago
is a hellscape and New York is the only acceptable Christmas movie location. All
right, Erica, when did you first see while you were sleeping? I
saw it in the theater. I didn't love it. I have friends who
love this movie, and it's just like it didn't hit and so I was
really excited to come back to it again this week because I was like,
this is it, It's gonna hit it. I'm an older woman now I
find Bill Pullman very sexy, which I didn't in nineteen ninety five because I
was too young. And I'm like, I'm gonna get it, and Bill
Pullman is very sexy, and I still was like, it's a pretty good
movie. It's a pretty good movie and for some reason just misses you.
It does. Yeah, yeah, how about you? When did you first
see? While you were sleeping? I also saw in theaters. This movie
is very important to me Erica for a reason. I'm not yet told you.
Okay, are you ready? Oh my god, I can't wait.
There's so few things I don't know about you that when I do there's a
new one. I'm like, oh my god. Sandra Bullock was my movie
star beard in high school. Uh huh. She was my favorite movie star
because of this movie. Because I love this movie and I was straight and
I love Shandraw Bullet. You think she was so hot? You think loving
Sandra Bullet made you seem less? It did in the nineties. They did
in the nineties. Okay, like all the boys are around and they're like,
have you seen that latest Playboy? Have you seen? Have you seen
that that broad Cindy Crawford, I've in my mind you're hanging around solely like
I'm hanging around in like revel without a Cause and in nineteen sixties garage,
like you should think that fixing cars, fixing cars out with grease lightning,
And then you're like, I love that Sandy Bully. She's got spunk.
So I have not seen it for a long time. I remembered quite a
bit of it. There was actually one specific part that will get to where
I didn't realize I was remembering the movie. I thought I came up with
a joke myself, and the joke happened, and I was like, oh,
I guess that was just in my brain. Oh, I've done that.
Like when we were doing She Devil, there was there was at least
one joke where I was like, oh, I thought that was an Erica
original. My bad. Sorry. So I am very very much on the
l train for this movie. I love it. I love all the actors.
I did find Bill Pullman sexy when when I was young, I did
not find Peter Gallagher sexy. That was a bigger problem for me. Oh
yeah, when I was a kid, I remember being like that guy.
And now I'm in my forties and I'm like that guy. Yeah, Now
I'm like, how do you choose Peter Gallagher really does? Maybe they should
make a hot Sandy because you know, the two brothers aren't actually related,
So exactly, that's a real hot Sandy because in the middle you got a
Sandy. Yeah, and she's hot, and she's hot. She's a hot
so hot, she's a perfect childhood beard. I mean, I guess it
could have been Madonna. So this is kudos to you for picking a slightly
less obvious choice. It could have been fucking Maggie Smith, okay, who
was a very handsome woman, Erica. The tagline for While You Were Sleeping
is a story about love at second sight. Nope, nope, I hate
that. That is a tagline for a movie about a fortune teller. It
is at least a tagline for a movie about someone who is friends with someone
and then falls in love with them after yes, they're friends with them.
That movie that Randall Park and Ali Wong made, Yeah, that's exactly.
Maybe that's that. That's that that's it. That's the perfect There's no second
site here, No, there's there's not even a first site. I mean,
it's it's this is all this is all wrong, all wrong. Boo.
Whoever that studio executive who fixed the movie then puned this off on a
junior executive. They're like done, I'm gonna take a vacation, and that
junior executive really shit the best? Do you want to read the iTunes synopsis?
Sure? When a woman visits a man in a coma whose life she
saved, she is mistaken as his fiance by his family, but as she
finds out more about her alleged bridegroom, she soon begins to wonder if mister
Perfect is really mister Wright. A synopsis that completely leaves out the second lead
of the movie. I think I think that's okay, though, because once
you start to explain that it's a complicated movie, it is. This is
a long recap because there's a lot of twists and turns that we're gonna go
on in this plot. Yeah, and so if you try to get into
like the nitty gritty of everything, you like, it's a lot just fine
man in a coma very handsome she finds out he's kind of a douche.
Yeah, move on, move on, that's it, Paul, Do you
have an actual synopsis for while you were sleeping? Yes, while you were
sleeping a fairy tale featuring dozens of fairy godmothers and not a single one of
them with a usable piece of advice. Well, someone give this woman a
piece of good advice for god sake, ghost for you to you for help,
and you basically shrug again and again or actively harm her in her pursuit
for finding the right choice. All right, everyone, stick around. We
are gonna come right back. We're gonna take you through while you were sleeping
after like ninety seconds maximum of ads. That's right, we're doing that now.
Yeah, we're doing ads now. If you hear one. By the
way, some of them were sneaking in. If you hear one, it's
like pro gun. Let us know, because we are not pro gun here
at that age. Well, and some of them are sneaking in there.
Yeah, so please reach out and we're back. We open in Chicago,
beautiful, beautiful Chicago. Unless you're Paul and you're like brought worst and thick
pizza. No, thank you, get out of here. Jeremy Allen White.
Lucy Eleanor moderates played by Sandra Bullock, narrates in voiceover over scenes of
her childhood. She tells us the following, Okay, there are two things
that I remember about my childhood. First, I remember being with my dad.
He would get this far off look in his eye and say, life
doesn't always turn out the way you plan. I just wish i'd realized at
the time talking about my life, but that never stopped us from taking adventures
together. He would pack up our sometimes working car and he would tell me
amazing stories about strange and exotic lands as we headed off to the exotic destinations
like Milwaukee. It's amazing how exotic Wisconsin isn't. But my favorite memories were
the stories he would tell me about my mom. He would take me to
the church where they got married, and I'd beg him to tell me more
about the ceremony and about my crazy uncle Irwin who fell asleep in the macaroni
and cheese. And I asked my dad when he knew that he truly loved
my mom, and he said to me, Lucy, your mother gave me
a special gift. She gave me the world, and then we see a
little globe light up next to her, and she says, actually it was
a globe with a light knit, but for the romantic he was, it
might as well have been the world. Okay, I wrote this down for
two raisins erica verbatim, by the way, yep, number one. It's
not particularly well written. It opens up with there are two things I remember
about my childhood, and then it never gives us the second thing. It
just says, I remember being with my dad, and then it goes off
on it is on her father, on and on and on, and then
it says things like I asked him when he knew I was in love he
was in love with my mother, and then he just gives her a non
secretary about a globe and doesn't ever really answer the question. Right. So
that's the first thing. Second thing I don't care. Sandra Bullock is already
charisma bombing us with her nuclear levels of charm. She is a super nova
of charm. Two actresses enter the shoring, one super nova chrisma bomb Sandra
Bullock, one super nova chrisma bomb. Julia Roberts, who out Charisma,
is the other Sandra in a walk it's not even close. Yeah, it's
not even close. And look, I like Julia Roberts, I do,
but Sandra Bullock can literally sell me anything. Yeah. I saw a movie
where she was lost in space for two hours and I was fucking riveted,
riveted, could not stop watching it. Yeah. If Sandra Bullock started goop,
oh, yeah, I'd be putting jade eggs up my wazoo every day.
So we cut to the present day and Lucy continues to narrate about the
first time she saw quote unquote him. She was working your job as a
total collector in the on the l and she's in her booth and she's treated
to a gorgeous businessman running by. He has a mane of dark hair,
plush lips, eyebrows. It would make Carra Delavine blush. We eventually learned
that this man's name is Peter Callahan. He's played by Peter Gallagher. Not
hot to me in the nineties, extremely hot to me now so handsome now,
so handsome. I think he looks the same. So it must have
been me who changed. It's us who changed. Is we found We now
find this handsome and we didn't back then. We sure didn't. I was
like, boo, it's love at first sight for Lucy. She tells us
that she's sure someday she'll find the courage to introduce herself to Prince Charming and
their relationship will be perfect, just like her Prince. Have you ever seen
anyone that look you look? I don't mean to dog the people of the
MTA. They are wonderful people. They do God's work. They get us
from point A to point B every day, mostly without getting shot, and
that's not really their job. But I have never seen anyone that looks like
Sandra Bullock in one of those booths, not ones, not ones do they
try to cast Nicole Kidman And they were like, you know what, no
one would believe her in the booth? Like, are we expected to believe
Sandra bull look? I would fit in the booth? I'm not saying I
wouldn't. Oh I am, I am too. I'm not good enough for
the booths? Yeah, frankly, Yeah, but I'm a troll. Is
luminous. There's something about her. I was like, you expect me to
believe? People pass by her every day and don't know. Yeah, that
Peter Gallagher, this troll. Peter Gallagher. This is sixteen year old me
now passes this this goddess and it's just like what's up and keeps going.
Yeah. One of my complaints about the film is that, like, we're
set up to believe that this guy is gonna be kind of a dick,
right because he's this like suave businessman, and the movie goes there, but
they don't. They still give him plenty of humanity because the movie is ultimately
extremely kind and I wanted him to go full out and like he literally doesn't
look at her, yeah, because she thinks she's beneath him, and that's
interesting, But the movie kind difficultes there and skirts by it because he just
doesn't look at her. He just throws his token in and keeps moving on,
which plenty of people do. It's not like that in and of itself
is a bad like you're a bad person, but if they kind of hammered
it home that there are people in the morning who are like, good morning,
yeah and pleasant, but he doesn't even look at her, or at
least gave him a little bit more of a runway so he could be a
dick at this portion of the movie. And then later in the movie he
can become a changed man. It gives him more of an arc, a
little bit more of an arc. And like Peter Gallagher plays such a good
dick, like he's so good at it. I'm like, I really wanted
to see full scumbag Peter Gallagher where she is staring at him and going,
oh, he's so lovely. I'm gonna marry him someday. And then we
catched him on his cell phone being like, I don't care if the orphanage
is full of nuns. Blow it up anyway, like, oh my god,
that got so dark, orphanage full of nuns. And then he's blowing
up. I thought he's just gonna evict me. He's not mister Potter,
He's mister Potter's evil step son. We cut to Lucy hoisting a Christmas tree
up to the apartment, like her second or third story apartment through the window.
Bold choice, bold choice. Can I just say PSA for this episode?
Kids, If you're hoisting anything with a rope or with any fabric,
wear gloves, wear gloves, wear gloves. You need gloves. Also,
Christmas trees are not that heavy. No, the Hollywood industrial complex leads us
to believe that Christmas trees are impossible to lift. Impossible. I will have
you know I have single handedly lifted a six foot tree by myself, walked
it to my apartment up a flight of stairs. Fine. Unsurprisingly, this
crack plan does not go well, and the tree winds up through the window
of her downstairs neighbor and landlord Joe. If someone broke my window in the
middle of a Chicago winter, death immediately, just death behead her. This
man is so kind, Yeah, bring it to me. This man is
like, don't worry about it. It's the holidays. So anyway, Joe
adores Lucy like like I said, he has no intention of asking her to
even pay for any damages. No, don't worry, princess, it's the
it's the holidays. We're like family basically. And speaking of family, right
then, his son Joe Junior played by Michael Rispoli, enters in you wrote
here too small t shirt. That's not what's happening. He's he's wearing a
child's shirt as though he doesn't own adult clothes, and I was like,
the first thought I had was like, is Joe Junior special? I can't.
I don't remember how special Joe Junior is supposed to be. He's not.
He's just for some reason, wearing the tiniest T shirt. His pants
are undone. He's a mess Joe. He obviously has a crush on on
Lucy. Joe Junior. Let's talk a little bit about Joe Junior, shall
we. I have questions for you about Joe Junior. Okay, because when
I was recapping this, I was a little concerned about saying anything. He's
not very threatening, and I was like, is that because I'm a dude.
And also, we obviously know what the movie is. We know it's
a romantic comedyst Sandra Bullock. Sandra Bullock is obviously annoyed by Joe Junior,
but not frightened of Joe Junior anyways, Like that takes a lot of the
teeth out of us. Yeah, is it possible for a man to be
this kind of lovable scumbag in real life? No? Absolutely not, It's
not possible. Okay. This performance is truly one of the best ones in
the movie that I was great. I didn't notice the first time because again,
like literally everyone is great in this movie. This performance is a miracle.
And what Michael Risbolli does with this part because exactly what you said,
he creates a lovable scumbag that you never feel frightened of or threatened by.
The two of them together have great chemistry, and that she's almost like sisterly
towards him, even when he's like actively trying to bang her. Like,
he manages to make this performance something that's funny and almost vulnerable while being a
scumbag, And I was like, Holy, how did he do that?
Yeah? How did he pull that off? Brilliant? It's brilliant. You
did mention earlier that everyone in the movie is good, and I mostly agree
with you. I do have one note on one performance, which one the
I don't know the name of the actor, but the character is mel Sandra
Bullock's cat ha ha, and I really found the performance kind of flat.
It's one of the worst cat performances we've ever seen. And we're actually gonna
see another cat performance later in the movie that is also it's flat. Yeah,
and you know they needed Carol the Tarantula Wrangler to come in and bring
a higher quality of cat. Yeah, hi all, I know you wanted
a very specific, kind of very charismatic cat for this role, but what
I've brought you here instead are two doped up alley cats that I found yesterday
behind the Dunkin Donuts and enjoy. Yeah, that's why they weren't. They're
not even credit on IMDb. I don't think they've worked again. A then,
Pop, do you think you're still alive? Paull? This movie's thirty
year old. Oh God, they're dead, aren't they. Well, then
we shouldn't speak ill of the dead anymore. You know who's not dead,
by the way, Glenn's fucking John. He's not that woman, the old,
old old lady in this movie. Fucking She's gonna live longer than Peter
Gallagher. So we cut to Lucy grabbing a hot dog the next day her
boss slash best friend. You know how that thing where you're best friends with
your boss, that's a totally normal thing that everyone has. His name is
Jerry. He's played by the wonderful Jason Bernard. Very funny, very funny.
He meets up with Harry tells her that he's nominating her for Employee of
the Month because she's so delightful and a wonderful person, and she's never late
and she always works holidays even when she worked the last holiday, and Lucy's
like, hey, I smell what you're putting down, and I don't care
for it. Sir. Yeah. She tells him clearly that she's not working
Christmas, and he pushes back. He's trying to walk around the topic,
but he just eventually hits her with you're the only one without a family,
and she's like, okay, so, yeah, sure, I guess I'll
work holidays. That is art hard. Look. I worked in businesses for
many years that were open on the holidays, and the fact of the matter
was sometimes you have to work the holidays. And you figured that out like
three months in advance. Yeah, and the people whose whose families were closer
and the people who, if the holiday was religious, were not of that
religion. You step up and you fill in. And I have difficulty believing
that there's no one in the entire Chicago transit authority who's Jewish Jewish. I'm
like, do we not have a single person or Hindu? Yeah, or
just doesn't give a shit about the holidays, or doesn't have a family,
or has a family that they fucking hate, Yeah, doesn't want to be
around them because it's he mentions it's triple overtime too, and I'm like,
well, shit, girl, yeah, take the take the money, Yeah,
take yourself somewhere nice for New Year's Yeah. Well, we'll also find
out later in the movie that she is freshly without a family, Like a
year ago she lost her hame, So it's like sad man her. Her
coworkers really jumped on that advantage, didn't they. They really were like,
Hey, you're alone now right, You know how you're gonna die alone?
Would you like to do that in a booth? You know how you have
no connections in this world because your entire family is dead. You know how,
somehow it's your fault even though it's not. Hey girl, Hey girl,
Hey girl, you know how you're really really lonely and sad. What
if you got paid triple over time to be lonely and said, well,
I had some nog also, he could have gone the other way and been
like, hey girl, I know how hard this time of year is for
you. How about you bury yourself in work and forget about it? Yeah,
and like, how about that instead, like try to make it seem
like a positive, which, to be fair, I think would work in
a Yeah, like if you really have nowhere to be. Okay, I
could sit at home listening to because apparently my boss slash best friend isn't fucking
inviting me over for fucking Christmas dinner. Lord, come on, just hire
more people of different faiths are doing? Why is everyone Christian here? Hey
girl? Hey girl, Hey girl, you know how you're really sad?
See how your life is a desolate, desolate baron hellscape. Hey girl,
you know how you've never no one's ever touched your genitals. You know how,
you know how like you're somehow, even though you're beautiful, you're the
opposite sex things you're disgusting. You know how your father, Hey girl,
Hey girl, you know your father's so fresh on the ground you haven't even
had time or the money to get a gravestone yet. Yeah, hey girl,
Hey girl, remember how the other day you thought about marrying your cat
just to feel something. Hey girl, Hey girl, you know how the
Chinese food guy is your best friend after your boss. Hey girl, you
know how like your neighbor has to check in on you to make sure you
haven't killed yourself in your apartment. Hey girl, I read a statistic the
other day that suicides go up around the holidays, and I'm really concerned about
you. Maybe you should go to work where we can monitor you. All
right, So we cut to Lucy sitting in her booth on Christmas. She's
taken the shift, she's getting her triple over time. She's distracted, she's
depressed. She barely even notices Peter Prince Charming dropping a token through the window
and wishing her Merry Christmas. He's gone before she can respond with anything more
than uh huh. And then Lucy sits there and brats herself from missing her
chance to connect with Peter. She's so angry that she nearly misses him being
mugged and being pushed onto the train tracks by I like to point out two
white people, but also the funniest mugging ever. So like we see it
from her perspective is she doesn't hear everything at first, but all years Peter
Gallagher going like, come on, guys, I don't want the trouble.
It's the holidays, like that's ever been, Like like those two criminals were
gonna be like, oh it is I forgot what day? It is?
Good? I have to go to church. Yeah, and then like just
give him your wallet, dude, I don't understand. I think this is
theory based on like the fight choreography. I think the intention was supposed to
be that they go for his wallet and then he falls onto Like they don't
actually push him onto the tracks. They kind of get into a scuffle quickly
and he falls accidentally. Yeah, but that's me doing work for the movie.
Like you are correct. They really should have made that clear, like
because he's like, I don't want any trouble, so give him your wallet.
Be done with this? Yeah, be downe. It's not like it's
nowadays and you have your cell phone with your entire life history and you're like,
please, I don't want to give this over. Can I at least
export my contacts real quick? I'll give it to you. Can I just
give it to factory reset first and then you can have it. So the
muggers run away and Lucy runs out of the booth. Hey girl, look,
I don't want to Monday Morning quarterback this. Uh huh. But if
you're working at the booth and you see someone fall in the tracks, do
you think that there's maybe a button or a switch that you could throw to
let the all oncoming trains know human on the tracks. Stop, hit the
brakes, Hit the brakes please. I feel like that. If there's not
a switch like that, I'd like there to be. We would love that,
We would love for that to happen, that innovation. Dear MTA please
and CTA, please create that switch. If if like a house can have
a panic button, I feel like a subway should. Yeah, she rushes
to Peter. She's calling for help. She gets down onto the train track.
She essentially winds up lying on top of him, begging him to wake
up. There's no response. There's a train bearing down on him. For
some reason, she keeps trying to wake him up rather than just fucking getting
the fuck out of the way. So at the last possible second, she
grabs his coat. She rolls him over. They barely avoid both getting smushake
pancaked by the train. He wakes up for a second, she says,
oh, no, I'm kidding. She says, hi, and then he
passes out again. Yeah, yeah, okay, couple of things. Are
these not the absolute cleanest train tracks you've ever seen in your entire life?
Chicago looks pristine. You can in this movie you could eat meat off those
train tracks and you'd be fine. Honestly, one of my biggest fears of
falling into the train tracks here is not even getting hit by a train.
It's the it's the green sludge. Yeah, what is that green? I
don't know. And guys, if you haven't been to New York City and
seen it, it's not like, it's not a normal green sludge. It
is a lime, fluorescent, lime green sludge. It is a this will
turn you into a spiders Avenger, spider Man or the Joker sludge. It's
like, what is that sludge that is in every fucking train track in New
York City? And you would land right in it. I'd be like,
well, now I want to get hit by a train. Now I want
my life to end because I will never be clean. And then a rat
runs over your foot and you're like, well, okay, let's let's bring
bring it on, sweet death, for I am unclean and shall never be
whole again. Because anyone's wondering if this crime of him being pushed out of
the train tracks is ever will ever be solved, it will not. It
will be drop to me. Oh yeah, no one cares. Ye the
way the muggers don't get his wallet because while it is a plot point later
in the movie. So he got nothing from this. Yeah, so you
know how you said you want to switch that like stops oncoming traffic. I
would like a few more switches to be added, since we're doing this right
when those groups of children that come on and go show time and then do
do those dances where they kick you in the face, I would like a
switch that stops the train and like ejects them out like into air. See.
I appreciate the people asking for my money who have a little a little
skill to show me. Oh yeah, that's great, don't kick me in
the face. I will often feel the urge when they start that to be
like, if I give you twenty dollars right now, while you stop,
you stop. I was like, let's all pull our money together, Let's
give them everything we have we can, just we can. We can end
this now and everyone can escape with fully intact noses. Yeah. Here,
my great great grandmother brought this necklace over from the old country. Can I
if I give this to you, will you go away forever I have a
set of play. I will wrench my own finger off and you can probably
sell it on the black market for money. If you could just stop that.
Like I have been in scary situations on the subway, like genuinely frightening
situations, and yet the most uncomfortable I am is when there is a teenager
dangling from the pole in front of me with his like foot inches from my
face, and I'm like, I know you mean well I do, I
know, I know this is this is your fun side hustle. I get
it, but you're terrifying me right now. Please stop. You know what
I love? You know what some befowards. I love the Mariachi band.
I do like the mariachi band. They get money from me, so I
sometimes in the morning I don't love the mariachi band, Like on the way
to work, I'm like, no, no, no, no, there's
a time and a place, sir. But an afternoon mariachi hell yeah.
Or the barbershop quartets. Oh I every time I will give all my money
to the barbershop quartets. It's always like four middle aged men and they all
look so happy to be there, like this is genuinely just their fun side
hustle, and I'm like, all of you, yes, you can have
all my money. So we cut to Peter being rolled into the er,
Lucy being denied access because she's not family, so he's being wheeled off into
some section of the hospital she can't go into. As the doors closed,
she laments quietly, I was gonna marry him, a fateful statement that is
overheard by a very kindly nurse named Wanda. Wanda immediately is like, oh,
you're his fiance, and she brings Lucy into Peter's room, where she
is almost immediately joined by Peter's family, his father whose name is Ox and
for some reason, it fucking works, and I'm just gonna let it go,
played by the wonderful Peter Boyle, Peter's mother Midge played by the also
wonderful Nicole Mecurio, his grandmother Elsie played by the luminous Glennis Johns, his
sister Mary, who's played by the wonderful Monica Quina honestly no skips in this
act, and his godfather Saul played by Jack Warden. Yep, I have
a question for you. Did it take you a minute to figure out what
the relationship everybody was here? Because I got real confused. I well,
I because i'd seen the movie originally, I don't remember, Okay, like
maybe I was like, who's sol again, How is he related to them?
Because they don't mention that he's the neighbor for a while. Well,
it's also the fact that, like Peter, so, Peter Boyle is sixty
and Jack Warden is seventy five, so there is an age difference. But
Peter Boyle is bald, and he already looks exactly like he looked, and
everybody loves Raymond. He could be anywhere from sixty to eighty two and I
would believe you. And then there just seems to be this random teenager that
doesn't fit with everybody else. Oh yeah, because right, because Mana Kakuina
is probably sixteen, she's legitimately sixteen when they made this movie. Yeah,
that is it's not even like twenty playing down. So Peter Boyle and McCole
mccurio are both. Peter Boyle is sixty, McCole mccuria is fifty seven.
I looked this up. Okay had a baby when she will I guess when
she was like forty one forty two, like really pushing it there. It
was a whoopsie baby. It was a whoopsie baby. When you pitch your
adjustment to the script, I also have an adjustment to the script that is
also going to add even more beauty to it. Oh, I'm excited to
hear it. The one thing I will say about Saul is I think maybe
the first time I saw the movie, I assumed he was the grandfather exactly
because he and Elsie have so much chemistry and like banter and like sexual chemistry,
and I'm like, oh, well, if he's either Grandma's boyfriend or
Grandma's husband, like clearly agreed. When Ox asks who the hell are you
to Lucy, which is excellent, Wanda helpfully supplies Wanda the nurse she's his
fiance. Wanda, girls, step out of this. Stop helping, stop
helping. This is just go don't you have a life to save Somewhere?
Wanda is here to incite the rising action of the plot. Autifully, nurses
are the real heroes, except in this situation, Lucy's speechless and soft spoken
and can't get a word edgewise, and before she can be like, no,
no, no, no, no, I'm not as fiance, Elsie
sits down and we find out that Grandma sweet, adorable, weirdly British Grandma.
No one else in the movie is British, but her just her.
The Glynnis Johns was like, I'm not interested in doing an accent, thank
you. Ah. So Elsie sits down. She's having a spell, and
we find out that she has a heart problem and she cannot handle shock and
stress. Is literally the reason Peter Parker can't tell aunt mahe's Spider Man in
the comics. Also, don't bring Grandma to the hospital. Are you doing?
What are you doing? Hey, Saul, why don't you hang out
with grandma for a little while. Play a little hide hide the canoli with
her? Play a little play a little hide the Kinish hid, hide the
Halla, hide the brisket. Yeah, there you go, play a little
hide hide the brisket with grandma. Well, we kind of suss out what
the situation the brisket in the bagel. We would like to apologize to our
Jewish listeners. Ah, just tongue down that Postrami sandwich you're in, I
do I do? So Lucy's like, wait, I'm not his fiance,
and the Grandma's starting to have like a preheart attack, and she stops because
she doesn't want to like make the woman go over the edge. She doesn't
want to like She's like, okay, let's just everyone calm down and then
I'll explain to everyone. De escalate, everyone de escalate. So once they
realize that Lucy saved his life, Midge the mom bursts into tears, so
relieved that Peter's found a nice girl like Lucy, and Lucy's like shit.
She pulls Wanda aside. She's like, why would you say that? Wanda
says, because you're his fiance. You said it downstairs. Lucy says,
I was talking to myself. Wanda says, well, maybe next time you're
talking to yourself, tell yourself you're single and I'm the conversation, which is
fair. Lucy wonders what should I do and starting the trend of horrible advice
given. Wanda says, I don't know, really, Wanda, girl,
you have a nursing degree. Wanda's like, I gotta go clean some bedpants.
Excuse me if you're concerned about Elsie. Pull pull Midge aside and be
like, can I speak to you in private for a moment. I don't
want to shock your mother. But like all of misunderstanding, I made a
mistake. I'm so sorry, like it misunderstanding me and Wanda, I did
save his life, were not engaged, but then the movie would end and
we would not get all the delight that follows. So okay, see now
I have a way to fix the movie. I'm gonna fix this movie.
Before Lucy can form any sort of plans, Saul appears. He's looking for
medicine for Elsie to help her with her attack, and he tells Lucy that
he thinks you didn't only save Peter that day, I think you saved the
whole family. I'm mean, I mean, now, really, your lips
are sealed. That kind of pressure the go goes because your lips are sealed.
So we cut to Lucy sitting with the Callahans quickly getting a picture of
the family. They're loud, chaotic, and very very loving. It's a
great lived in chemistry with this cast. Yeah, there's also clearly some sort
of schism between them and Peter. Is it because they're working class and Peter's
so obviously like a YUPPI is gumbag. He there's a douche and they haven't
spoken recently. I'm kind of curious where he was going on Christmas. Actually,
I think here's the implication is he is going to work whoa, because
he's he looks exactly the same. He has his briefcase and he goes in
at the same time and he drops a token. Oh so I think the
implication is he's going to work on Christmas. Poor Peter. Yeah, I
feel bad for him for the robber baron. I think it was his choice,
unlike Lucy. So they're all fascinated with Lucy because they've never met her
before. And the last girlfriend Peter had was this woman named Ashley Bartlett Bacon
excellent name, no notes, who Ox thinks was pretty high and mighty for
someone named after breakfast meat. So we cut to Lucy driving home after that
whole exchange. She's a little worse for wear. Joe Junior shows up and
arms that he'll be taking her to the ice Capades the next night. I
got tickets to the ice capade. Hey, I fixed someone's John and they
gave me two free tickets to the ice Capades. Lucy barely has the interest
even to grunt at him, like She's like, bitch, I have had
a day, a long day. It is Christmas, and I have had
a day. She can't sleep. She heads back to the hospital, has
no one in this movie heard visiting hours, including the hospital staff. But
she's the fan, said, oh, is this just like the nineties where
you can just go anywhere like in the airports? No, you can just
like walk into the cockpit like, hey, what's up? Girls? Am
I interrupting you? Okay, So if we're gonna put those buttons on the
MTA, we're gonna put some in the cockpits of the airplanes too. The
minute someone takes their shoes off, uh huh, ejecting jecksy out out out
the plane. Yeah, you get you get your own I don't think you're
gonna have to die for it. You get a little pod, a little
pod that you get sucked into and ejected out the bottom of the plane,
and and you have to make your own way home. Yeah, oh yeah.
If you're the it's not our fault. Yeah, enjoy this the ocean.
Motherfucker. You took your loafers off, and you weren't wearing socks on
an airplane. The first second you snap at a flight attendant, eject,
you're gone. Oh you're out. If you're even the slightest bit salty with
a flight attendant, no, thank you? Ye, yeah, absolutely so.
Lucy goes to the hospital. She sits by Peter's bed and she starts
talking to him out loud. She apologizes for the whole mess, and as
we pull the camera back, we see that Saul is standing right behind her
through the glass, but still he has heard everything. So now Saul is
looped in yep. We cut to the next morning. Lucy wakes up,
having fallen asleep next to Peter's bed. Before she can leave, she's cut
off by the arrival of the rest of the Callahan. Clan Ox invites her
to join them for the delayed Christmas celebration that night. After all, he
says, Jack is going to be there. You haven't met Jack. You
know what this movie writes? Check it does not cash because they're all like
Jack is the greatest, and then he shows up and they're like, oh
hi Jack. Yeah. I was like, wait a minute, why are
you all not more excited? And also you would expect Jack to be from
like another state or something that he's flying in for this. No, no,
no, Jack fucking lives there. Jack sees the dad every day.
I think this is a case where Jack is the preferred somebody never gets told
he's the preferred. Sun he's actually the one there doing stuff. Yeah,
so when he's not there, he's praised all the time, but when he
is there, he's just treated as like a hutch. Yeah, you're doing
a lot of work for this movie. Oh yeah. Lucy tells Ox that
she has to work. I'm so sorry, but Ox and says, look,
give me your address and your phone number so Mitch can call you and
convince you otherwise now, and I'll give you our address so you have it
for when you change your mind. You can come. Very cute, very
cute. Lucy leaves the hospital and orderly rushes up, gives her a box
of Peter's things, and as she's getting into the elevator, she's interrupted by
one of Peter's coworkers, presumably arriving to visit another total douche. This actor
nails. It's a minute you see him, You're like, yep, I
get it. You're you're like Wolf of Wall Street level douche. Yeah,
you just got off your cocaine bins. You haven't slept yet, right.
Despite her best efforts to excuse herself, the coworker pulls her into a conversation,
and then suddenly he's upset because he thinks Peter badmouthed them and spins out
into some sort of story about an accident that happened last month and it's not
his fault. He's a lawyer, heah, carries pencils in his pocket.
That's what he does. Is that true? Do lawyers carry pencils in their
pockets? I don't think so. I don't think so at all. If
anything, they carry it pen in any case, he says it wasn't on
purpose, it was an accident, and we see the elevator doors closing as
Lucy's like, OHI they you know? Basically, can I tell you?
I had no idea what this movie was talking about in nineteen ninety five the
first time I saw it, like, it wasn't until she actually says it
out loud, like thirty minutes later that I was like, the fuck is
that guy talking about? They're playing basketball and he has a pencil in his
pocket. I'm like, what does that even mean? This is the joke
that I thought I came up with in my head that was actually from the
movie, Like the ultimate end of this little loop of a story was what
I was like, Oh what? And then I came up with the actual
answer in the movie, and I was like, oh, I just remembered
that from the movie. That's amazing. Ever, yeah, because I'm a
girl and I don't have testicles, and I don't play basketball, and I
never carry pencils on principle, I had just like, all of this is
foreign to me. What is he talking about? Someone explained this joke to
me. We cut to Lucy getting more bad advice. This movie should be
called The Bad Advice Bitch, Dear Abby, dear crappy. There you go.
This time, the bad advice comes from Jerry, her boss slash best
friend, who doesn't see what the problem is. After all, if Elsie's
at Death's store, just go along with it until Peter comes out of the
coma, which everyone always does, don't worry about it, and then the
family will be so happy that like their son's alive and well, they won't
even care that she lied. They'll find the whole thing humorous. And if
he never wakes up from the coma, also not a problem. Look,
not technically a bad plan, but ted opened. It's bad advice. But
if you're a sociopath, yes that works, ha ha ha. We cut
to Lucy sitting down to a sad TV dinner. Okay, this scene,
she's she has a cat. We discussed this the Luisa Jacobson of cats.
Let's carry number three. If you're wondering who that is, we generally referred
her as Gumber three. Let's get real. So, okay, she's having
a sad TV dinner. She's pouring some milk into the cat's dish, and
she's contemplating her life. She takes an Oreo cookie. First of all,
she hasn't touched her dinner. She's eating her Oreo first. Look, I
like a Maverick. Look if I was a middle aged dwarphan too, I
might do the same thing. She takes the Oreo Paul, Yeah, she
dunks it in the milk in her cat's dish. By the way, it's
one of those dishes it's like two parters, and so one half of it
has cat food in it, like presumably like like the most disgusting, fucking
smelling cat food, because they all smell disgusting. And then on the other
side milk. She dunks her her cookie into the milk side and then puts
it in her face. Hey girl, are you dipping? Are you dipping
Oreos? In your cat's milk. Hey, girl, this is rock bottom.
You've hit it. You've hit it, you found it. Good,
Good for you, you found rock bottom. You are drinking your cat.
Also, I don't think oreoles are good for cats. What are you doing?
Yeah, I mean, milk isn't good for cat contaminating that poor cat's
milk is gonna be shitting all over your house. Also, unless you have
unless that is a brand new bowl. Even then it's still not okay.
It's still way too close to the cat food for this to be okay.
Apparently that was a Sandra Bullock in the moment in Proving, and she was
like, yeah, I was really high on benadrul because I guess she was
allergic to the cat. I love that. I love everything about that.
I mean, as an improv, it works because it shows a certain patheticness
to this character that you're like, I personally couldn't come back from. Yeah.
I was like, well, she's broken, she's too poked on the
train tracks. She's too broken to be fixed. Everyone just move on,
all right. So Lucy makes the decision. She heads to the Callahan house.
She arrived, she has a Poinsettia arrangement and she gets out of the
cab, she goes, what am I doing? She's about to get back
in, and then Saul appears. He intercepts her. He's walking around the
block. He's enjoying a cigar and he says, oh, come walk with
me. So they sit on the stoop and Saul explains that he's Peter's godfather,
which makes him practically family. And Saul asks after Lucy's family, and
this is when we find out that her father died the previous year after a
long battle with some unnamed medical issue. They had moved to Chicago to get
him into special treatment that didn't work and he passed away. Saul shares that
he lost his wife two years prior. The Callahan's got him through it,
and he says, I would never let anyone hurt them, and Lucy says,
neither would I, and Saul believes her. She passes the test right
that she doesn't know she's taking. They head into the party and the Callahans
fully embraced Lucy as part of their family. I'm going to skip over the
scene because it's long and we only have so much time here. Charm happening.
I was like, I was so into this scene. Yeah, you
talk to me a little bit about how you like got teary eyed during parts
of the movie. This is the one scene where I was like, okay,
genuinely like forclemped watching it. I was like, oh, this is
so she like looks longingly at them while they're just being normal, like loving
family at Christmas. She's so good. Yeah, she conveys so much with
just a look, and I was like, oh, this is a heartbreaking.
We cut briefly away to Peter's answering machine in his very bougie apartment.
We'll get to that later. It picks up a call from Ashley Bacon,
remember her, who says she's cutting her trip to Lisbon short because she's been
doing a lot of thinking and you know what, Hey, what the hell,
I will marry you. Just what you dream of hearing on your answering
machine. Yeah, sure, sure, why not? You're rich and handsome.
Okay. We cut back to the Callahans. Night has fallen and a
truck pulls up. We follow the driver into the house, and finally,
thirty minutes into this film, we had our first glimpse of Jack Callahan played
by the great and good Bill Pullman. He is an Ellban catalog come to
life. Is that correct? I mean he's like what Hollywood thinks a lumberjack
looks like. But yeah not and Mary, the teenage sister, excitedly greets
him. They're like that weird creepy sibling sibling couple in the Folders commercials.
He asks who the strange woman is who's sleeping on the couch, and Mary
tells him that's Lucy, Peter's fiance, and Jack is immediately suspicious. I
don't know why he goes to immediately suspicious. Huh. The movie does not
explain it. What's wrong with her? If the movie made it clear,
it like maybe Peter and Jack are closer than Peter's rest of the family,
and Peter was and Jack was like, I saw him last week. He
had not fiance didn't saying about that. That's weird. Yeah, but that's
not really where the movie goes. Yeah, the implication is that Peter hasn't
spoken to these people in six months. He could have a fucking wife somewhere.
He's like, I'm gonna spend the night, so okay, is it
possible he's already attracted to her and he wants to stay in the house to
keep. I'm gonna say no because she's literally facing away from on the couch.
She doesn't even see her face. So if he's attracted to a shapeless
lump under an afghan, I mean, that is my type. That is
what I go for. You know how some people use hinge or bumble.
I use faceless lump under an afghan. Dot com that's your Yeah, that's
your thing. And you know there's no swipe left or right, ye,
just yes everything, yes and yes. And we cut to Lucy hiding under
the afghan, and we see that she's heard the entire exchange, so she
knows there's a new there's a new player in this game. Can I pitch
what I think would have improved or solved the problem one of the problems with
this movie, Go for It. I e the random teen when he came
in, I thought that she was his daughter. Oh okay, And because
I didn't remember the movie that well, I's been having seen it a couple
of times. Oh, he probably had a wife that died very young,
and he's a single father and his parents are like helping him care for his
daughter. And then when Lucy meets her and they're gonna have that bonding thing
of like, oh, our mother's passed away and there's gonna be this whole
parallel thing going. I love that. I love that rather than having just
a random sixteen year old with two thirty plus year old brothers. I mean,
both Bill Pullman and Peter Gallagher are well into their thirties when they film
this, so I think they're meant to be playing down as is Sandra Bullock.
I think she's like thirty one. I think they're all meant to be
like in their mid to late twenties, early thirties. Yeah, but they're
all like ten years older than that, older than they need to be.
And then well then why did they bother? Like, look the teenager.
The girl is great, who plays her, She's very charming, but she
does nothing to the plot. There's not a single moment of the plot where
she is essential where she's like, well, I guess there's one moment,
but that's it at a complication, but that could easily have been another carried
like, we don't need a teenage daughter in this situation. Not really,
Okay, I'm gonna start right now with how I would improve the plot of
the film ready. Instead of Saul being the one who like catches on to
Lucy, I think it should have been Jack. Jack is the one who
overhears Lucy. He takes pity on Lucy. He's like, look, my
family's been through enough. Let's wait until Peter comes out of this to like
tell them the truth. Basically the exact same plot as Saul. It makes
a little more sense because it's coming from one of the family members, right,
and b it gives the two of them like something to work toward together
so that when they do fall in love. Right it like spoilers, they
have to like hide it and like stop and like they're they're true. And
that just makes a well fuck yeah, a that makes it hotter, and
it gives Lucy an actual reason to keep going along with this dumb fucking plot.
Not because some random old guy told her, hey, no, keep
lying to these people. It's great. But like the hot guy that she's
like instantly attracted to tells her and the brother no less. So she's like,
well, okay, I mean if this guy seems to think it's a
good idea, I guess I'll go along with it. Yeah, that makes
sense, Like it just all makes a lot more sense if it's Jack and
not Saul. I think my actual problem with the movie is the Jack and
Lucy relationship doesn't work for me. Ah Okay, it just doesn't work for
me, and it's not the actor's fault. They are so good together,
they have so much chemistry, but like, don't I don't believe them fair
enough? I just straight up do not believe that. If you don't,
I get why why I wouldn't work for you. I am one hundred percent
in no, No, it's on them. I'd buy it completely. So
the next morning, Lucy tries to sneak out before anyone gets up, but
Jack is waiting for her. They have a little awkward meet cute, and
Jack finally says welcome to the family, and Lucy heads out. Later we
see the Callahans at church. We see Elsie saying, I like masks better
in Latin. It's better when you don't know what they're saying. Jack starts
asking questions about Lucy and also hinting that he needs to speak with his father
about the future of their business together, which we learned earlier is the estate
furniture and resell it. Right, we cut to Lucy in her apartment,
she's going through that box of Peter's things that she was given at the hospital.
This is when she finds his wallet, which in which he has two
pictures of himself. I don't think that's what those are for, sir.
You're with you. You shouldn't have to stare at pictures of yourself. And
you can you imagine if you went on a date with someone who's like,
let me pay, he pull his wallet and you just sell pictures of himself?
Yeah, or do you have an identical twin? Or are you weird?
Or he pulls out his phone and he's the picture like, and you're
like a glamorous shop. Why isn't it your dog? Like what it is
for literally everyone? So in his thing she finds a bag with catfood in
it, and she realizes there's a kiddie who needs feeding, so she heads
directly to the address in his wallet. She barely manages to avoid Joe Junior,
who's attempting to fix his car. By the way, I am not
claiming any expertise in cars, but I saw my father fix a lot of
cars. I saw my father go under a lot of hoods in my day.
Is that that when you were trying to convince him you were straight by
telling him you love Sandy Bullock. Actually, I know ever ever pretended to
my father that I cared anything about cars, But I never once saw him
pick up a hammer and go to town at anything. Ah under the hood,
unless there's a raccoon living in there. Very weird. But he So
Lucy heads off, She avoids Joe Junior, and she just misses Jack,
who arrives moments later. He sees Joe Junior, who of course tells Jack,
oh yeah, Lucy moderats with dating. Lucy heads up to Peter's apartment.
It is extremely modern. It's lifeless. I hate it. I think
it's so ugly. I mean, the view is spectacular, sure, I
will say that, like if you have a place like that, just like
you don't want to go too much because like the view is the thing.
Yeah, but that black and white nonsense looks like a lab. The best
thing about it is a headshot of Peter Gallagher looking foyn Haha. All right,
So Lucy's calling for the cat and she doesn't hear Jack enter behind her.
For some reason, he doesn't announce himself. He's not like, hey,
I'm here too, So now the two of them are just like wandering
through this apartment. He knows he's there, he's there. He winds up
taking a door to the face because he didn't say anything as he deserved exactly.
He's like, why are you here? She tells him she's there to
feed the cat. Jack says Peter doesn't have a cat, and on cue
a cat enters another cat that's a little listless. Oh here's the thing about
this cat, though, it's so pretty. It is pretty. It's one
of those big, fluffy, little like thousand dollars cats or some nonsense like
I get it. Yeah. By the way, will she come back to
feed this cat at any point in the film? No? Will anyone do
a wellness check on this cat ever? Again? Yeah, in the rest
of fuck this cat forever, I guess, leave a lot of food.
Yeah, we're never coming back. That's it. Ha ha. Peter's gonna
come back to that apartment and the cat will have eaten his furniture. Yeah,
to survive. The cat's wearing like a little bandana. John Farrel,
He's like, I'm the captain now, haha, I'm the captain. Mio.
Ah, it's holding a little spear that it fashioned out of like kitty
litter. Captain meow, I love you, thank you. The phone rings
somehow inexplicably, it's for Lucy. It's the hospital. The hospitals tells her
it's customary for the friends and family to come give blood, which I'm like,
is it I've never heard of that before. Whatever. Peter has lost
zero blood. By the way, yeah, it's not like the coma is.
Because Peter's bleeding out. There wasn't even like a picturesque little bloodstream coming
from his forehead. After he'sall into the tracks, he looked fine because those
tracks were so clean. His coat was actually nicer than when he fell on
them. Jack suggests, why don't we go to the hospital together get this
done. So Jack continues to question Lucy. She manages to escape by after
they give blood. They wind up back in Peter's room. There's a cute
moment where like he faints right after giving blood. The rest of the family
is there in Peter's room and Jack becomes more aggressive with the questions. Rightmily
is confused, You're like, why are you giving Lucy the third degree here?
Leave her alone? And Jack claims because she is cheating on Peter with
her boyfriend Joe Fusco Junior like, aha, gotcha, Lucy just laughs.
She's like, Joe Junior is delusional. He thinks he invented aluminum foil,
and Jack responds that he was very lucid when they spoke earlier. He's like,
he sticks to this plan. And finally Elsie waivers and she goes,
if she wanted to prove it, she would prove it, which I'm like,
literally how the family looks at Lucy and then she pulls out her ace
in the hole and explains something very important to fifteen year old Erica, who
did not know this, that apparently you can lose a testicle in a basketball
incident. She goes, Peter has one testicle, and it turns out that
the coworker was talking about pencils in his pockets for a good reason. After
all, there's a great moment where the whole family's like, someone's got a
check, huh, And the mother finally is like, I'm his mother.
All look, and it's funny is the teenage daughter is like, oh,
which, now I'm glad I had a teenage daughter in this movie, because
yeah, you want that that's exactly their correct reaction too. Let's all look
at your brothers junk together as a family. Yeah. We smash cut from
Midge looking at Peter's junk to the Callahans piling into the elevator and Elsie's saying,
well, look on the bright side, he's got more room in his
jockey shorts. Lucy arrives home. It's been another long day for old Lucy,
and she's immediately confronted by Joe Junior, who's very put out that you
stood me up. We had a date for the ice Capades. No we
didn't, Yes, we did. Before she can get rid of him,
Saul arrives. For some reason, Lucy doesn't throw Joe Junior out of the
apartment. She instead throws him into her closet. She lets all in.
Saul tells her, look, I know the truth. I heard you that
night at the hospital and Lucy. Sandra Bullock is great in this moment because
you can tell that she's sad, but she's also like, Okay, thank
god, this is over. I'm done, which this helps me buy the
movie so much that they really give her like as opposed to my best Friend's
wedding, where every moment, Jules is continually like digging herself deeper. Yeah,
Lucy in this movie keeps trying to keep her head above water and then
something comes along an the anksor down and she she keeps trying to get above
there. And she's not not complicit in this. I'm not saying that,
but like there are actual reasons given and the intentions are really good, yes,
like really solid. So Saul, continuing the theme of bad advice in
this film, tells her don't tell them anything. Since meeting her, they
all feel like they have Peter back, and losing her would be like losing
him all over again. Truly, How great was the estrangement in this family?
Who was Peter? I was so disappointed when Peter wakes up and he's
just like a totally normal guy. Yeah, and he's not some like evil
monster. I'm like, but I wanted an evil monster. That would have
been funny, Yeah, or make like someone who forgets he's an evil monster
and then kind of relearns it and maybe feels bad about it. Yeah,
like he like slightly. Oh, I love that show so good PSA for
this episode. I don't know if it's streaming anywhere, but if it is
Find Yourself episodes of Samantha Who with a pre famous Melissa McCarthy and a post
famous Christina Applegate excellent television show, and a still famous Jean Smart and it's
still in an evergreen famous Jean Smart. Like I just I was so ready
for there to be this fun like villain in the movie but played by Peter
Gallagher, and it just didn't happen. I think the movie kind of wants
it to be that, but it doesn't really make any sense, Like the
way well, because he wakes up and he's fine, Yeah, he's totally
nice, and people keep telling me he has amnesia, but he actually doesn't.
Yeah, there all this gaslighting of it to think he has amnesia,
so he should. It doesn't work, But I think the intention of the
movie is what you're saying, Like he woke up and he's a new man.
Yeah, so saw the art. Lucy doesn't even have time to get
Joe Junior out of the closet where he's trying on her shoes. I this
made me so happy. Okay, he's embarrassed enough that like he got caught
trying on her shoes, but not so embarrassed that he gets all toxic masculinity
on her. He's just like they were really nice shoes. Yeah, like
it was very sweet. There's another knock on the door. She tosses Joe
back into the closet. She goes to the door. She greets Jack.
Jack is there because his parents have sent her an engagement present, and she's
like, you know what, why don't we take it to Peter's apartment.
We can hear Joe crashing around in the closet. I'll go with you.
Let's get the hell out of here. Yep, the fuse in the charisma
bomb has been lit. Ahaha. They arrive at Peter's apartment. Jack opens
up the back of his truck full of furniture. Lucy sees this, like
beautiful, very simple, hard darkwood chair. Yes, and she immediately compliments
the chair. She's like, it's beautiful. I'm so like, that's such
a lovely gift. And turns out the chair is not the gift. It's
a Jack Callahan original. He's actually like got a side hustle making furniture,
and it turns out he's really fucking good at it, and he's got a
lot of people wanting his furniture. But he can't do it full time because
his father needs him to take over the business and he doesn't want to disappoint
his father. Is furniture maker, the most romcom job ever for the mail
lead. I wonder if Jack walked so that Aidan could run, and if
Aiden ran, so magic Mike could soar. Ah. That's where I forgot
Magic Mike furniture maker, and that's what inspired Michael Shuffling to become a furniture
maker in his real life acting behind it all fits together. It's that whole
pygmalian fantasy. Who doesn't want a man who can carve you into stone?
Yeah, who can bring life into lifeless objects with the strength of his hands.
So it turns out the chair is not for her and Peter. The
gift is, in fact, this rather ugly sofa. Why they thought this
would work in Peter's apartment, I do not know. It is blue like,
and Peter's entire look is black and white, black and white and like
like angry art film from Sweden. That's what his That's what his entire apartment
looks like. If you want to decorate your apartment like an angry art film
Sweden, take a look at Peters. Yeah, if you want the seventh
seal, but furniture that's Peter's apartment. The two bring the love seed up.
The new doorman is meeting Lucy as Peter's fiance. Along the way,
a great deal of cuteness ensues, a lot of floppy nineties hair, uncontrollable
giggling, and pratt falls is used to try to move the furniture. They
like knock over a vase filled with blue water. What wasn't that vase the
Angryish art film water? Yeah, that is like if this were like a
student film, that vase would have fallen in slow motion before it like collapsed
on the floor and the water when it was blue in the vase, when
it hit the floor it became blood red uh huh yeah yeah, and screamed.
So they they cover up the blue stain on Peter's carpeting with the couch
like so there are giggling their conspiratorial It's adorable. Afterwards, they walked through
Chicago together. They're getting to know each other. Jack asks Lucy if there's
one place in the world she could go, where would it be? She
says, without hesitation, Florence. Excellent choice. Good Joyce, excellent,
joy we can, we can, decides. She even shows him that she
carries her pashport pashport port. Hey, no, Cholly, helly jolly,
oh no, he's Channing again. Guys, get the get the paddles.
What if Carol Channing was talking to Lucy and she worked at the at the
CTA with her. Hey, girl, I know you, I know,
I know you don't have a family. For Christmish, you look delightful in
that booth. You just look smashing in that booth. Florence, how did
you feel to be so alone? Dying alone is the best, didn't it?
Hello? You? All right? So Lucy even shows Jack that she
carries her passport, her passport around and he notices that there are no stamps
in it, and she says, someday there will be. I mean she
works at the MTA, Jack, come or the CTA. I know it's
not New York, but I only know the MTA. The wage gap is
real, asshole. If Florence isn't free, The two arrived back at Lucy's
and what I would like to call a lawsuit waiting for happen, which is
an icy sidewalk. Okay, I guess Joe Junior is too busy banging the
broad and on the fourth floor. He's not banging the broad, he's banging
the muffler with a hammer under that the hood to put some fucking salt out
for the sidewalk. There's an extended sequence. They're grasping each other for balance,
they're laughing. Finally, of course, they wind up falling onto the
ground. They're laugh They get up, They wish each other good night,
and Lucy heads upstairs and watches Jack as he walks away. She smiles,
and then reality sets in. Carrol Channing is like, hey girl, Hey
Lucy, remember you said you were You said you were engaged that guy's brother.
Yeah, you can't be in love with this guy because you're in love
with the other guy. Everyone's gonna hate you when they find out what's happening.
And she got awful. Just the worst lonely is. She's to only
worse when it's like doubled because you had his taste in not being lonely.
There be lonely again, Hey, Lucy, and goodbye, Lucy. You
lost your first family to cancer and your second family to you being horrible to
your own horrible choices. Jesus Christ. This is the definition of irony.
The next morning, Lucy announces to Jerry that she likes Jerry remembers the boss
that she likes Jack, Peter's brother. Jerry is really too busy to be
bothered. He's like, wait, what's happening? Is the coma thing still
going on? I have my own life, Lucy. Not everyone has dead
parents, real main character syndrome. Some of us have a family, Lucy.
It's the holiday week. Finally someone tells Lucy to just tell the fucking
truth. Jack's like, all right, this has gone on long enough to
tell it's Jerry. Jerry. There's too many characters in this movie. Yeah,
yeah, it's Jerry. The boss tells her just tell the truth,
just get it over with, and she says she can't because Elsie's sick and
she'd lose Jack and it's all so complicated. Jerry tells her to just pull
the plug, and I can't tell it first honestly if he's talking about Peter
or the lie, because I'm like, you know what if he does die,
this is this does just end for poor old Lucy. She says,
you're sick, and he points out I'm sick. You're cheating on a vegetable,
solid solid. We cut to Jack spending some quality time with Peter.
He's playing I think twenty one with Peter, or poker poker, one of
those cars, think cards, but he's playing both sides. He tells his
brother that he's never been envious of anything he had until now. No,
No, I love Bill Pullman so much. I just want to clock here.
Look, and I don't mean to be an asshole. He met her
two days ago. They did it take you that long to fall in love
with Sandra Bullock? Eric didn't take me that long. When the boys in
the locker room ast, I told them right away, Sandy Bullock. It's
Sandy Bullock. I love her breasts and her vagina and all the parts.
I always dream about her breasts feeling like bean bags filled with styropham, the
those styrophoonm things. That's what breasts feel like, right, right, you
know, you know I love touching my girlfriend's breast. They feel just like
two tennis balls, like hard, really really hard. That's normal, right,
That's what they feel like. I love touching women's breasts, and you
touch they sound like balloons. No balloons, make that sound. That's what
breasts make. Yeah, okay, that's what Sandy bullocksrests sound. Her nipples
look like Pepperoni's. I love it. They're like, who else do you
like? Paul? And I'm like Carol Channing and yeah, you know,
Paul, you just tell us all the truth and just save us all a
lot of a lot of time. Here we see you. We cut to
the Callahan family dinner. Jack and Lucy wind up under the mistletoe walking out.
Okay, why would anyone have missletoe up and enforce the mistletoe rule when
ninety eight percent of us shared DNA in this situation, here's my answer.
I think Ox and Midge are trying to parent trap Elsie and sal Or.
They just all want a piece of salt. The only reason you should have
missletoe up if it's like a cheeky, fun holiday party and literally no one
in this room is related to each other. So the family's like kiss kiss,
kiss kiss, and I'm like, she's engaged to your other son,
remember that one? What's wrong with you? People? They give each other
a quick peck and instead of everyone being like that was a terrible idea,
why didn't we insist on that Everyone's like, Oh, what a cute couple
you two would make. Anyway, we cut to work. The next day,
Mary arrives with a friend. Lucy invites her into the booth and they
visit briefly, and Lucy's work friend, Celeste, finds out that apparently Lucy
is engaged. Celest it's thrailed, very excited, very wondering why why Lucy
didn't tell her earlier Becau apparently they're very close? Yeah, who knew.
As the girls leave, Celeste asks if Lucy's pregnant, and Lucy's like,
yes, the lest I'm pregnant. But because teenage girls don't understand sarcasm,
Mary's friend hears it and is like, whoa, yeah, you're late.
Your friend Lucy's pregnant, yeap, Lucy's pg Mary rushes home and immediately announces
that Lucy is pregnant to the entire family. We cut back to Peter's answering
machine and Ashley Bartlett Bacon leaves another voice message, angry that Peter hasn't called
her back, and also inquiring after her cat. Ah, what if Ashley
Bartlett Bacon was played by Carol Channing. Peter and I'm very Yeah, you
haven't told me about my cat. Any excuse to do Carol Channing today?
Huh, Carol Channing, We're just gonna keep doing. I'm cutting my trip
to Lishpin short because I thought she'll marry ye hey, what the hell?
Also, I just want to point out it's not a trip to Lisbon.
Later on, he says, you moved to Lisbon, correct, she left
her cat with Peter? Does she not know anyone else? We cut to
Lucy's Joe Junior presents Lucy with an enormous wreath of flowers, which he says
they give in the winning circle at Arlington, and he comes on to her
again. Lucy refuses. Joe Junior is finally getting the hint. He looks
dejected and Lucy gives him a hug. She says, thank you for the
flowers. Little does she know that the bottomfirstaire is Jack is there and he
sees this interaction. Lucy. It's now New Year's Eve, we find out
apparently she doesn't have to work on New Year's Eve. Subways free on New
Year's Eve, just go crazy. Everybody enjoy It's the purge. But on
the subway, Lucy goes out to attend her very best friend in the whole
world, Celest New Year's Eve party, even though we met Celeste literally four
seconds ago, yep. And she finds Jack loitering outside her apartment, and
Jack kind of like muscles his way into the party with her. He's like,
I'm coming with you, and she's like, okay, I guess you're
coming with me, and she doesn't like turn around and be like boundaries.
Yeah, I need boundaries from you and your whole fucking family. Boundaries.
You're all a bit much and they wone ever told you that. Please.
It doesn't take very long within the party filled with Lucy's colleagues and friends,
for Jack to shout you're pregnant loud enough for everyone to hear. Yeah,
tries to have a drink, he gets very upset. Yeah. We cut
to Lucy walking home. Jack's trying to apologize. By the way, these
two walk so much, And I get it, the movie's trying to be
like romantic they're walking through the city, But all I can see in these
scenes is how fucking cold it must be. Are there no cabs in Chicago?
There are there no says these two could take. I don't think it's
that. I don't think they filmed during during the winter though, because you
never see their breath. You never see their breath. Yeah, I know,
so it must be fake. Okay, so I think the actor.
And also at one point Bill Pullman is like, I'm shivering over here,
and like, then, fucking zip up your coat. It's not a coat,
it's not a coat. It's not a coat that is as a bomber
jacket. Yeah, he's wearing a full fucking bomber jacket in the middle of
a Chicago winter. Lands endes a good bomber that's all. That's all.
So outside of Lucy's apartment, the two of them get into another extended flirting
session. Jack brings up her encounter with Joe Junior earlier I saw you you
were leaning into that hug, and she's like, okay, you have to
stop stalking me. And seriously, this is now getting out of hand.
And also, did the writers of this movie really like my soul called life?
Why is there so much talk about leaning? A good call back?
The two of them wind up very close to each other and snap out of
it when Joe Junior interrupts and he notices that is leaning very close to Lucy,
are you okay, Lucy? You need me to get rid of this
guy for you, And Lucy's like, no, it's fine, thank you,
Joe. So this nice moment of leaning quickly sours when Lucy takes Jack's
belief in her pregnancy and spins it into the only reason someone like your brother
would want to marry someone like me's because I'm pregnant, right. Jack finally
says, I just want you to be happy, and Lucy wonders, what
would you know about it? You can't even have a conversation with your father
about not wanting to be in the family business. She goes nuclear. She
sure does. She goes, I'm like you've again. I just want to
clock here. And they've now known each other three days. He says,
knowing my family for three days does it make you an expert? And she
says, knowing them for a lifetime has it made you want either? Okay?
Still three days? Slow your goddamn roll, Lucy, He fires back.
He wonders if her father would be happy knowing she's sitting in a toll
booth planning vacation that she isn't taking. Okay, if she went nuclear,
he went apocalypse. Don't invoke the memory of my dead father. It's New
Year's Eve. We're supposed we're both hot, we're supposed to to be out
getting drunk and getting plowed. What are we doing? She admits, no,
my father wouldn't. But she says, you don't know what it's like
to be alone. And she heads into her apartment and she says to herself,
Happy New Year. And at that moment at the hospital, Peter wakes
up. You know I was ready for like they needed a change. Yeah,
we needed a moment when I was really really ready for a little Peter
Gallagher. Yeah, charm and charisma. I was telling you earlier. For
this movie. For me, it was like it starts and you're going along,
yes Andra Bullock, and you're like, man, this woman is charming.
And then it starts like, wow, the weight of this is really
starting to strain even her charisma, Like like there's a lot of plot going
on, and they give you Bill Pullman and you're like, great, I'm
good, no problem, and then there's the weight starts to drag the two
of them down too, and then they're like here you go, Peter Gallagher.
It's like a triple scoop. Of charisma. Yeah, it's just like
just smooths over all the cracks. For me. The only thing is I
just like again, like because they the way they wrote Jack as like instantly
auspicious of her, kind of shitty to her the whole time. I want
this plot to go better. I want these two to be in it together,
figuring out a way to get her out of this situation and him into
her bed and make it all okay for everyone. And at some point maybe
in the movie, they do sleep together, and then they have to hide
it from the rest of her family, his family rather, and then Peter
wakes up and they're like, oh my god, what have we done.
I'm writing such a better movie in my head. We cut to Peter's room
at the hospital. He's woken up from the nep he was taking, and
he sees his family and Lucy. That one face gives him pause and he
asks who are you? And his family assumes that he has amnesia. That
is really funny to me. He's like, hello, you know, Saul,
mom, dad, everyone. He's like, who are you? And
they're like, he has amnesia. That's definitely a real thing. Lucy decides
it's finally time to come clean. She's like, excuse me, everybody,
I have an announcement to make. But before she can, Saul takes her
aside and tells her that he'll handle telling the Callahans the truth. I don't
know if I would trust Saul to do it for me. And you know
what, I'm not wrong, you are correct. Yeah. Jack drives Lucy
home, and the argument from the night before suddenly seems silly. A day
later, Jack tells her that he really thinks that she and Peter will be
a good couple, and he's glad that she won't be alone anymore. He's
basically saying I love you without saying I love you. The next morning,
Jack arrives at his parents' house. He's got a box of donuts, Ox
is feeling philosophical, and he says, I really love this line. He
says, life's a pain in the ass. You work hard to provide for
your family, and then for one minute, everything's good, everyone's well,
everyone's happy, and in that one minute you have peace. I thought that
was very beautiful. M Jack says, well, sorry, this ain't that
minute, and he comes clean about his decision. He's going to start a
furniture business. Ox is like, you don't want my business, and Jack's
like now, He's like, I could have sold this years ago. What
are we talking about? By the way, Mary is really being left out
of this entire conversation. She looks very sturdy. She could hork a couch
up a set of stairs. Also, like, doesn't she seem like the
kind of person who's gonna grow up and convince old people to give away their
loved one's furniture. Absolutely, I would give that woman anything she asked for.
She has a really like trustworthy, earnest face. At the hospital,
Saul goes rogue. He asks to speak with Peter alone, and he tells
Peter that he's got a lot of great qualities, but he's a putts.
He tells Peter to do him a favor. When Lucy arrives, look deep
into her eyes, and if he's not madly in love with her in two
minutes, then he should break up with her and go back to being a
putts. But if he has any brains, he'll propose to her again and
make it official. So Saul's like, I know how to solve all of
our situations. We're just going to like actually get Peter to fall in love
with Lucy and it's fun and we're good. Lucy arrives and Peter takes Saul's
advice to heart. He asks her to sit down. The two talk and
would you believe it? Sandra Bullock also has off the charts chemistry with Peter
Gallagher. Can you believe it? This made me want more movie with these
two together? Oh yeah. Meanwhile, at Peter's building, Ashley Bartlett Bacon
played by Carol Channing, Oh Jesus Christ played by Ali Walker arrives. She's
greeted by the doorman. Remember the doorman met Lucy as Peter's fiance. Ashley
is not pleased when he hears that Peter has a different fiance than her.
Jack arrives at the hospital. He's helping Peter move floors from the fourth floor
to the second. Peter tells Jack that he feels reborn. He's making a
clean start with Lucy. After all, Lucy is Lucy is and Jack can't
help himself, He says, I'd say she gets under your skin as soon
as you meet her. She drives you so nuts you don't know whether to
hug her or just really arm wrestler. She would go all the way to
Europe just to get a stamp in her passport. I don't know if that
amounts to insanity or just being really, really likable. And Peter says,
no, that's not it. He is like, she's also smoking hot and
the rack on her. Yeah, did you notice the perfect body and perfect
face? No, you didn't look again. Also, she's not going just
to get a stamp in her passport. She's going to Florence for the same
reason we all go to Florence to see the David's dick, to see to
see that the world's least hung statue, the most noble title, that David
has the world's largest statue with the smallest cause with the smallest schlan. Well
done, Michelangelo. You don't have to play hide the salami, David.
Michelangelo already did it. His hands are huge, and his penis minuscule,
perfect juicy melon buttocks and a Vienna sausage penis. Outside the hospital, Lucy
is not thrilled to find out that Saul is not followed through on telling the
Callahan's the truth, fair the hell Saul worst fairy godmother ever. She actually
agrees with you, Paul, because She fires him and she heads in,
nearly running into Ashley Bartlett Bacon in the process, so Ashley as the more
up to date information. She gets to Peter first. She's furious that he's
engaged in another woman, and Peter calmly points out that she turned down his
proposal. They broke up. Ashley snaps that you should go ahead and marry
Lucy, you one bald bastard, and she flounces out of the room.
Wanda meanwhile intercepts Lucy and brings her to the proper room. Lucy walks in.
Peter laments he's not happy with the life he's made, and his family
loves her. He might as well love her, he proposes. Wanda faints.
This is the best day of Wanda's life. Wanda is going to dine
out on this story for the rest of her exist. She's like, I
made a couple out of sheer fucking will my shorts Chuck woolerrade. I will
these two people together and it worked. I'm a witch. We cut to
apartment. She's wearing her mother's wedding dress. I did not catch that it
was her mother's wedding dress, and I was like, what, why does
she have a white suit from the forties. I am presuming that because I'm
like, why else, It's like there's no scene for buying it, so
I'm like it makes sense to me, Like they make a big deal about
her mother, like of course her mother's wedding dress PSA for this episode.
If you are a single lady, just buy yourself a wedding dress. You
never know when it's gonna come in handy. You might need to step in
real quick and become a bride. Just have one on the back burner.
Are you in a romantic comedy you need You need a couple wedding dress office
and keep them in the back of the closet. Yeah, like a sensible
suit, suity type one like in case you're getting married in a in a
hospital chapel like in this film, or a big romantic princess e one.
Yeah, you never know what the occasion's gonna call for. Yeah, in
case he shows up on a helicopter on your doorstep. Yeah. You Also,
if you're a rom com heroin you also probably should have like Margarita mix
at all times because you're definitely gonna need like a late night Margarita sessh with
the girlfriends. With the girlfriends, you're gonna need some motown on the boom
box, ready to go absolutely Diana, a little Aretha, perhaps that you
all can lip sync into a hair brush too. Yeah, and oh,
you should probably have, speaking of the hair brush, a karaoke machine,
because you're gonna have a party at some point and there's gonna be karaoke.
Yep. Everyone's gonna be bad except for you, because you're actually probably like
you did Broadway when you were younger. You're gonna need a lot of architecture
magazines because you want to meet and marry an architect. And you didn't know
that until you met and married the architect. But you're gonna want a lot
of architecture of magazines just to lure him in. You're gonna have You're gonna
wanna have no fewer than four sets of glasses because you are gonna break yours
during the course of your little flight of fancy. Yeah, and god forbid
you ever try to wear heels bigger than two inches. Yeah, you are
a klutz. Oh, you are a major clean You know what, You're
gonna want to get those little corner protectors they have for babies and put them
on all the sharp corners in your house. You could lose an eye real
quick. Yep, one hundred hundred percent. So yeah, these are just
a few of the things that rom com heroines need to have in their back
pocket. Just keep it. Just keep a closet full of rom com heroin
paraphernal paraphernalia, just to just to make sure that you serve the film intact.
U. Okay, So she's wearing some random wedding dress. So she's
that she has in her apartment, and yes, let's go with Paul's thing.
It's her mother's. There's a knock on the door. It's Jack.
He stopped by to give her a present. It's a snow globe with Florence
inside. No one's ever given me a snow globe in my life, but
I probably wouldn't like one if I got one. Frankly, I'd be like,
what am I supposed to do with this? Every time it shows up
in a movie, though, I'm like, Oh, have you ever been
given a snow globe by anyone? I don't think so, Like I can't.
I can't tell if they're good gifts or not. Let's give each other,
give each other snow globes of the David and his tiny dick. That's
why it's so tiny, because it's cold. Ha haha. I have to
say, one of my favorite touristy souvenirs in Italy while we were there was
the David with an enormous Schlang apron. Yes, because you don't want anyone
to think that your dick is small, just because David's dick is small and
you're wearing an apron, which can't bode well for your manhood. It's absolutely
not if you're wearing one. Yeah. That was always sold right next to
the Hot Priest Calendar, which is the absolute best thing Italy has ever given
the world. I know, they invented a lot of wonderful foods and art,
yeah, and art and music and like, but nope, it's the
hot priest calendar. Yeah. Who do you think picks out the hot priests?
Is it the Pope? Does he get to do it? Oh my
god, is that a job. I would murder for that job. Show
me all your priests, Show me the hottest priest you have. I'm gonna
need disroad, can I tell you? When we were in Rome, I
was not expecting the amount of priests that are just walking around in Rome and
like full priest outfits, because you don't see that in New York really ever.
And a lot of them were hot. Yeah, it's not a small
amount. It's not a small percentage of them there. A lot of them
were actually kind of hot. I was like, oh shit, the thornbirds
is real. Oh no, okay, So anyway back to the film.
Back to the film. So he gives her the snow globe. She thanks,
He says that Peter is a very lucky man. She asks him if
there's any reason at all that she shouldn't marry Peter, and he says,
nope, don't got one. Anyway, enjoy the snowgla by bye. Okay
Paul again, like it's a silly movie. I don't know why I'm taking
this so so hard, but like, why is she actually marrying Peter?
Like that is weird? This is this is a this is hard to swallow
too for me. I will admit this is like like it's like if they
you know what this now is a good time to pull another Elsie moment where
she's like, oh I could I could go with any minute, and all
I want is to see Peter and Lucy finally wet and you're like, well,
I guess I have to go through it and we'll just we'll get we'll
get it ann Old after after she passes or whatever. But like they don't
do any of that. She Lucy's like, she gets the proposal and she's
like, Okay, yeah, guy I've never met before whose apartment is horrifyingly
cold. Yeah. I also did a lot of work for the movie because
of the scene that comes up. And I will tell you after we describe
the next scene. Okay, you want to, you describe the next thing.
Okay. So the next scene is Lucy's at work. She drops a
wedding invitation off to her boss and best friend Jerry. Jerry's extremely confused.
She says, every day, I sit in my booth like a veal.
There are some flourishes in this movie that I love, and I sit in
my booth like a veal is one of them. I'm waiting for my life
to begin. And you know what a rich, handsome man proposed to me,
and I'm saying yes. And Jerry's like, what happened to the other
guy? And she says he didn't want me? Okay, so look,
I know this doesn't work. You've known him for three days, a girl,
she's four days now, Erica, Erica. It has been at least
eight, but not since these two have met. She met him on December
twenty sixth, canonically the day after Christmas. It is now at least January
second. Oh well, then it's fine. Never mind, play on,
play on everybody. They've known each other six days. My bad, bad,
it's fun. It's good. In in my head, I had written
that. She hadn't actually accepted that. I want. I know this is
stupid. This is not supported by the movie. You want this movie to
work so badly. I get it. I'm usually in your shoes and you're
usually in mind. I don't care for this. I don't like being on
this side of the table. She didn't say yes the proposal, and then
she screwed up her courage and she felt like she was reaching her hand out
to Jack. Jack pulls his hand out, and she was like, fuck
it, I'm marrying Peter. I'm done. Jack doesn't want me and I
I have to stay. I have to keep the I want. I want
Ox and Midge and Elsie and I want the family. Yeah, and like
that apartment is pretty sweet. Not gonna lie, and she won't have to
work anymore. She doesn't want to. She can do whatever the fuck she
wants with her life, and like she can go back to school. I
can give this the old college drives, working out in a couple of years,
no harm, no foul. Yeah, you know, fall in love,
some harm, some foul. Let's get real now. By that time,
Elsie will have you know, naturally, naturally except unless you're actually Glennis
John's Yeah, and you lived another thirty fucking years, because that gonna dance
on my grave. We cut to the hospital chapel. Everyone is waiting for
Lucy. She arrives, she walks down the aisle and before the ceremony can
even start, she objects, and then Jack also objects, and she tells
the cow I want you to know right now. I cried this entire scene.
Oh we cried. Sandra Bullock is so fucking good. Huh. I
am not into this movie at this point. I am annoyed by this movie.
I'm annoyed that it's not better. I'm annoyed that, like they didn't
give Bill Pullman enough to work with to make him more like more of a
romantic lead. I'm annoyed that I'm annoyed because I know people love this movie,
and I'm like, this could be so much better. And yet,
and yet, when Sandra Bullock tearfully gives the following speech that you are going
to describe, I'm in. I am all fucking in because I genuinely don't
think there's a more charismatic actor in Hollywood. I think she might be number
one. Like I used to think it was Tom Hanks, it's not.
It's Sandra Bullock. Yeah. So she tells the Callahans, I'm in love
with your son, and they say we know, and she says, no,
not that one, that one, and she points to Jack and Jack,
what did you do? And she says, no, no, it
wasn't him, it was all me. She tells him the whole story.
She admits it all got out of hand because I fell in love with you,
and Ac says, you fell in love with me, and she goes,
no, you, all of you. I fell in love with all
of you. I went from being all alone to having a family again,
and I just didn't want to let go of that. And I'm very sorry,
and I will love you always. And then she steps off the altar
just in time for Ashley Bartlett Bacon to burst in. She objects to the
wedding. Then another man bursts in and he objects to the wedding, and
they're like, who's that guy? And then they're like, that's Ashley's husband,
and mid shows you proposed to a married woman at Peter and all the
chaos that erupts, Lucy just slips out Pete. The best part is Peter's
reaction. The family's like, you were proposed to a married lady, and
he goes, yeah, I don't, what's the big deal. We cut
to Lucy at work, so Leste is giving her a hug on her way
out, and we hear that it's Lucy's last day. An engagement ring suddenly
drops in the token slot. She looks up and she sees the Callahans minus
Peter. Do we think that Peter Gallagher just was busy and they couldn't get
him to do this scene, or do we think that Midge was like,
Okay, you proposed to a married woman. Lucy is now part of the
family. We're gonna go marry. You're not welcome here anymore. Ah See.
Now at this point, I'm like well, why not just have Peter
be I wanted Peter to be part of this moment. If I'm being honest,
it will come up very very briefly, like the voice over at the
end. Obviously he is still part of the family, so probably you're right.
Peter Gallagher was just like off doing doing something else, or like,
yeah, I had to get to the Noises off Saturday he had the flu
and he's like, I can't do I can't be there today. I honestly
was like, wait a minute. I paused the movie and I was like,
what, Peter's not in this scene? But it makes the movie so
much better and sweeter if Peter's part of this anyway, all of the Callahans
except for Peter are looking at her expectantly, and Jack says, I need
to ask you a question, and Erica goes, a week, you've known
each other a week, how about would you like to have dinner with me
tonight instead of want to spend the rest of our goddamn lives together? And
Paul goes propose purpose, no, no, this bothered me so much.
You can picture me just staring at it with a big dope. Carol Channing
grin on my face, and I'm just like, it's been a week and
they all only just found out that she's been lying to them this whole time,
Like it's been a week and they haven't had a date since he's known
the real her, And like, one date, you guys just go to
one dinner together, bang one out first, and then decide you want to
spend the rest of your lives together. Okay, that's it, I'll stop.
The family immediately starts up with their banter and Jack asks if he can
come into the booth, and Lucy tells him he needs a token first.
He drops a token in and walks into the booth and he says, marry
me, and she says, yeah, I love you. Not really,
that's not how she says it. Now you're ruining it. Yeah, that's
not how she says, but that's how I would say it. I guess
I kind of love you. Tell me literally anything about yourselves, because I
don't know any of it. He says, I love you back, and
the two of them kiss, and Erica's cold dead heart goes, no,
no, we know we'll of the Grinch. This kid takes up a rolled
up newspaper and backs this movie on the nose and goes no bad. We
cut to them on the back of the l train. They've just been married.
In voiceover, Lucy tells us so, I had planned to marry Peter,
but I married Jack instead. Thank goodness, my father was right.
Life doesn't always turn out the way you plan. But Jack gave me the
perfect gift. He gave me a stamp in my passport. He took me
to Florence for our honeymoon. I guess you might say he gave me the
world, just like her father used to say about her mother. And then
she goes on to say, Peter once asked me what it was that I
fell in love with Jack, and I told him it was while you were
sleeping. End of movie. In my in my head, she and Peter
going to have a torrid love affair. Oh no, no, no,
no, no, no no no. She realizes, she realizes, like
six months in marrying Jack so early was a mistake, and she like goes
to a bar one night to have a drink and Peter's there and the two
of them just start chatting like friends, and then they get too drunk and
end up going back to his place and Bangan went out is it cold in
your heart? Yes, I see it. It's you know what it is.
It's a snow globe with a tiny dick in it. That's what my
heart looks like. End of movie. So stick around. We will be
right back with our random observations and final rankings. After these messages, we'll
be right back and we're back. I hope those I hope those commercials were
informative. Yes, and helpful and helpful and sold you things you wanted to
secretly buy. Anyway, Therefore, advertising does kind of work, and our
big CONSUMERI is society. Yeah, you know, just keeps the wheels turning.
I've lost the threat. I've lost the thread, Erica quick and finally,
any random observations on while you were sleeping. There is a small,
tiny moment in the film. They had no reason to keep it in,
absolutely none. They could have edited it out, they could have reshot it,
but the movie fucking kept it in. And I will love this movie
forever for it. It is the paper boy eating it on the icy sidewalks.
Did you look into that moment? I did not. I think I
know what happened. That's obviously not planned. Correct the boy ate it because
you look at it. Okay, look, it's one of those b roll
moments in a movie where they're like establishing, like, how cute the neighborhood
is. Right, So they show like a young boy on a bicycle throwing
newspapers on lawns, like ah, Suburbia. But the kid that they had
filming it just fucking eats it and they kept it into the movie. He
eats it and apparently broke his wrist hopefully as I would assume, be as
I said, you were about it, like people have been laughing about my
pain for thirty years. Thirty years. I thought this was my break.
Oh it's so good. Another line I loved when Jack and Lucy are walking
to Chicago and they're falling in love and everything is perfect and I have no
notes about that. He asks her what was your dad like? And she
goes, oh, you know, like me, dark hair, flat chested.
Good joke, good joke. But is Sandra Bullock flat chested? I
don't think so. I can't tell. She's swallowed in a lot of layers
in this movie. Okay, that's the other like rom com heroin nonsense in
this movie is a They're like, she's so unattractive. She's wearing wool She's
covered in woolen sweaters. Why do people wear woolen? It is it's just
so bad. Well, she's wearing it because she's poor and she can't afford
kashmere. But Ashley Bacon Bartlet the third always wors cashmere. I'm gonna take
us back to that scene in the hospital when Jack's trying to stump Lucy and
he's like giving her rapid fire questions about Peter. One of the questions and
I just want to point out that Peter is supposed to be about thirty years
old in nineteen ninety five, so which means that at most he was born
in nineteen sixty five. And he goes, what, what's his favorite stooge?
Why would anyone in nineteen ninety five have an opinion about the three stooges?
A timeless? Is there not another reference we could have made here that
might have been a little bit like beetles or rolling stones and like literally anything.
He's like, between William Henry Harrison and Grover Cleveland, which did he
think was the better president? What are you talking about? He said?
Why does he have an opinion? She goes Curly. She's guessing, and
he goes Everyone's favorite is Curly, And then in the background you hear Saul
go I like Shemp. I barely even get those jokes. It's so random.
I actually do know who all these people like. I am a Shemp
girl myself saw I see you, But like, I'm a weirdo who happened
to have caught some three stooges when I was a kid. Why would anybody
in nineteen ninety five have an opinion about the Three Stooges PSA for this episode,
at one point, they're outside, saws outside, he's letting, he's
smoking a cigar. They get called in. He leaves his lit cigar on
the Santa Claus on the porch. I had to rewatch the scene after because
I was so concerned about the house fire that was about that. Do that
that was imminent? Yeah, don't do that. That's not safe. That's
not cute. You like that fucking plastic thing on fire, and not only
do you have an inflagration, but you have a toxic fumes from all the
plastic. Yeah, yeah, not good. Those things are not made in
good conditions, Absolutely not. I just have one more and it's Uh.
There's a line when the father laments that he should have sold his business earlier.
He's like, I could have taken your mother on a cruise with Kathy
Lee Gifford. And I really felt bad for the younger viewers of this film
who don't understand that reference, huh, because they missed out on a moment
on a series of commercials that are seared into my frontal cortex and will not
let go. And it is Kathy Lee Gifford for carnival cruises, singing if
they could see me now out on a fund ship cruise, I'm eating fancy
food and doing what I choose. Google it you got it is so good.
It is sweet charity moment. It is peak American advertising. I like
those songs live red free in my whole being. Okay, Paul, how
should Kathy Lee Gifford sing us off this cruise ship? How should we rank?
While you were sleeping? Hey girl, Hey girl, girl, I
know you're like bereaved, bereft barken, but could you maybe come and work
my booth shift on Christmas? Because I actually have people in my life?
Hey girl, you know how no one loves you? That sounds really terrible.
You know, a good way to like drown your sorrows is to buy
into the capitalist machine. And just I'm gonna keep bringing up the capitalist machine
for the rest for no reason. That's usually me for the rest of the
podcast. You have switch pase we really have. I don't like it here.
I want to I want to be a consumerist again. How about one
attend rom Com professions like woodworker, furniture maker. Oh yeah, yeah,
whole booth attendance, Oh, magazine editor, magazine editor, yes, features
writer for a fashion magazine, theater reviewer. Oh, that's a good one.
That's a good one. And then you have your whole closet full of
rom Com paraphernalia in there, ready to go at a moment's notice. You
have like a very very tiny, tasteful vibrator that is going to accidentally fall
out onto the bed at the worst time, or like out of your purse
at a dinner party because your quirky best friend gave it to you, played
by wait for it, Judy Greer, of course, of course, the
iconic rom Com best friend Judy Greer gives you a vibrator as a gag gift
on your birthday. You don't realize you slipped it into your purse. Your
purse falls out at the company corporate event in which your colleague whom you are
secretly in love with, is there. Everyone sees it. You are mortified.
Oh my god, I am a lady who masturbates. I don't deserve
love. That's right, that's right. Do you think Judy Greer's actual best
friend is like a quirky best friend? Oh? Oh, like Judy Greer's
actual best friend is like a magazine editor who's so un marouin, who's so
unlucky in love. Yeah, and her name is definitely like a traditionally male
name, like Sam or Alex or Taylor. One hundred percent. Yeah,
yeah, yeah yeah. One to ten. Subway buttons, just a button
you could press to eject someone off the subway if they if they clip their
tone in if they bring a tune of fish Sandwich on there, Yeah,
not even open it to eat it, just bring it on there. Or
if they start playing music loudly rather than using headphones. Oh, villain,
villain, villain. Or they're just thirteen years old. People thirteen years old
should not be on the subway. From the age of thirteen to sixteen.
You are not allowed on the subway. You are not allowed on the subway.
You are a menace to society. To walk figured it out. You're
gonna make everyone uncomfortable. Everyone hates you. Also, you smell. I
don't know if people know that. If I don't think thirteen year olds know
that about themselves. Everyone hates you. I'm sorry you had to find out
this way. One to ten on hung statues, just gorgeous, gorgeous,
iconic men with the tiniest little like flickable penis. I want everyone to know
I'm doing the flicking motions to fall. I want everyone to know that I
think your penis is beautiful. Then how small it is I want? Or
big it? Well, it does matter. Look look, I don't care
what people tell does matter? Too big is no good to ten Carol's Channing?
Oh god, hey, yeah, yeah, that he knows how much
upsets me. He is. I can't look at him. I'm supposed to
know. I can't Harmonia Gardens. This is how I die. You guys,
He's gonna murder me. He's gonna murder me. And the last thing
I hear is hello, Carol Channing? Or should it be sexy Carol Channing
drag like Merci and Julie. That is our version of whatever happened to Baby
Jane? I get it an accident, I'm in a wheelchair. You end
up having to take care of me putting on Carol Channing shows until I just
fling myself off the parapet. That's how. That's how our version of should
we do this one? Sure? Yeah, yeah, Carol's Channing? Please
why don't Why don't you go first on this one? So? Yeah,
okay, I have trouble with wrong coms. You do, like, there's
not enough Nora Efron's out there who actually know how to write these things well,
and so it's just it always disappoints me. I want them to be
better than they are. Now, that's not enough of a reason to like
ding it. However, I was just really trying to rack my brain,
and I think the only time it squeaks sueaks by the Bechdel test is the
end of the film when Celeste and and I was just gonna say, Sandra
Bullock and Lucy are talking about it being Lucy's last day at work. That's
just not enough, Like she doesn't we had a chance to have like another
woman friend that's like, that's someone you can really talk to. Why Celeste
wasn't a bigger role? That seems like so easy, such an easy fix.
Also, like doesn't every rom com need like the quirky best friend?
What a perfect way to introduce that in Celestie. I guess Jerry kind of
eight Celestes lunch. I would say, saw yet, Yeah, because it
you would expect this quirky best friend to be the one being like, no,
he's so cute, you love them, stay with it like like that
that's the role traditionally filled by Judy Greer. Yeah, part so, yeah,
it doesn't quite even pass the Bechdel test. Jerry and celest are both
African American, so there are people of color in the movie. They are
named. They have some like Celeste is not a character. Celeste like has
like three lines in the whole movie. Jerry is a character. I'll give
him that. But it's it's pretty white, pretty white, I mean a
lot of it's the same family, right, So sometimes that's that it becomes
a bit of a blocker. Although so lately I've noticed in pop culture,
like we both watched follow the House of Usher. Yeah, recently, and
I'm like, well, yeah, you can be a family and still be
diverse, Like family doesn't necessarily mean everyone has to be the exact same race
of people. Like so again, little little too white for my taste.
And I think that the fact that the secondary characters are black is a nod
to the fact that the movie takes place in Chicago, and they're like,
you know who lives in Chicago people of color, black people. At least
they said that though, but you know what I mean, I'm like,
uh so, it's not enough for me to give it a high rating.
It's not that bad though. It's not like the movie is sexist, overly
sexist, or like overly racist or overly homophobic in any way. There is
that little cute bit with Joe Junior loving her shoes, which is maybe a
tiny nod to like, not exactly like queerness, but a like, hey,
people people enjoy different things. People are people, and it's fun and
it's cute, and like she seems okay with it, and so like the
movie generally is okay with it. I'm gonna give it a five. Okay,
I'm gonna give it right down the middle of five because it doesn't do
anything to like make me think this is a movie people shouldn't watch. But
it doesn't do anything to make me think this is a movie people should watch
fair enough, frankly, how about you, Paul, I don't have like
a response to those those notes. Those notes are accurate. I think that
Lucy is is a pretty good character overall, but you're right, she doesn't
get a chance to like talk to another woman really, And the family,
like Elsie and Major, are comic foils, which is great, and I'm
glad they that they weren't just like nothings and the men had all the jokes
like the women at least get jokes like that they do, which is nice.
But yeah, there's not a lot of interaction between them outside of like
group scenes and stuff. Yeah, the movie just works for me in a
way that it doesn't for you. But perhaps it is uh Sandra Bullock's long
time role as my as my high school beard, as your crush is your
first crush, as I thought about her, her breasts that feel like federals
melting in your hand, melting in my hands, like breast stew. I
love this movie. It works on me. I love Bill Pullman. I
love Peter Gallagher, I love Sandra Bullock. It just it gets me.
I absolutely don't care about any of the legitimate complaints that you have about the
movie, which just like you not liking the movie, that doesn't mean it
necessarily age as well. It just works for me. I'm gonna go a
little higher than you. I'm gonna say a six out of ten. Carol's
Channing, Oh I wouldn't. I didn't even try. You didn't Carol's Channing?
If they could? She mean, now O're on a fun ship cruise.
Shocked she didn't do those? That is a lost opportunity. No,
no, yeah, these are from the eighties. She definitely could have done
it. There's something the greatness of it being Kathy Lee for though, the
ultimate eighties nill. Yeah, A six out of ten for me, but
for enjoyment and eight out of ten, nine out of ten, ten out
of ten. And I will not be offering a palate cleanser. Aha,
that's another fantastic romantic comedy. You can watch a long shot, but that's
that's it. I was gonna I thought of a good palate cleanser for this
one. Okay, if you want to see Peter Gallagher be the dickhead he
was supposed to be in this movie, but like the lovable, roguish dickhead.
Might I suggest another film we have covered in the past, Center Stage,
Center Stage, where Peter Gallagher plays the artistic director of a dance school
who is both abusive but also weirdly loving towards his perfect answers the perfect movie.
All right, Erica. That is the end of our show. Everybody
listening can follow us on the social media. We are on Instagram, We're
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You do that, just like Hot Sandy and Erica ninety two seventy three
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has been a day that aged Well is produced and edited by Carol Channe.
Yes, Hello podcast, Shell, Hello podcast. We would like to thank
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I love every time Paul puts up the call for like the thing and like
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from a podcast character and today we're hearing from Actually we're hearing from the two
of us. Oh Carmela, our listener, asked us to thank her as
ourselves. Should we just get like a glass of wine and kick back and
relax. That's a great idea. Honestly, I could use a tiny bit
of a break because I feel the vitriol I have heaped upon while you were
sleeping has made me tired. So let's okay, we'll be right back.
Listeners. Is that too many glasses of wine? There's never such There's no
such thing. It's too many glasses of wine. You have to they were
so close to have to finish, to finish, the to finish, the
thinks. But I said I wanted a rose, and you just gave me
a bottle of red and a bottle of white and said, make it happen.
I thought you were crazy, but you know what that works. I
gave you two straws. Well you mix it and there's a rosette and it's
so it's so yummy. All right, So we just had a little drink
to loosen up, and now we're gonna thank Carmela. Thank you, Thank
Carmela, Caramela for listening. I'm glad someone is, because you know,
I don't Erica, people listen people like us. I want I want to
be clear about that. Okay, Paul, you know whatever you said.
I don't know why you're rolling your eyes at me. I think it's just
this is too sometimes I think, like, hey man, sal v you
know, no one ever says sail levee anymore. People like literally say like
all the time, just like Lazzy Fair. You just saying French words.
Smart, you know that, right? Like like if I am smart,
I say you are smart. I'm the smartest person, you know, I
said, speaking Frenchish doesn't thank you smart so great because you because you no
big words and you have a penis. I do a penis. And were
you grabbing my ball? Don't make me grab your Okay, fine, Prince
Paul is upset just because I grabbed his balls and honked them. Typical snowflake
there, I said it. I said it. You're a fucking snowflake.
You know what. You know what I think it's I think we need I
think we need water and coffee and we need to need to sober up and
pizza and pizza. I want pizza. Thank you, Carmela. I'm sorry
that we have had a little too much to drink and some truths happened,
but we're gonna go deal with those. Paul's never read a book in his
life. All right, Erica, we're not really drunk, you guys.
That was that was acting. Was acting. We're acting. We went to
theater school. Do you have any final thoughts on while you were sleeping?
If they could see her now, she has a family, She's not gonna
die alone in her apartment and leaving her face for her cat to eat.
It's a whole hippolata. Yeah right, that's the one where he creates her
out of stone. Oh no, no, oh, I I Pigmalion,
Pygmalion. Thank you all for googling. I beat it Gay versus iPhone. I won