WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:07.120
Creativity and a learning mindset are essential
to succeed. Learn how these innovators put

2
00:00:07.160 --> 00:00:12.199
these skills to use to become the
best in their fields. Welcome to Innovators

3
00:00:12.199 --> 00:00:18.519
to Know. Brought to you by
Idemics. In the first phase of her

4
00:00:18.519 --> 00:00:23.839
professional life, doctor Cindy Say served
as a primary care physician and medical director.

5
00:00:24.679 --> 00:00:28.839
In this more recent phase, she's
a writer and a coach, helping

6
00:00:28.920 --> 00:00:33.560
impact individuals by enabling them to take
control of their own health and wellness.

7
00:00:34.320 --> 00:00:41.320
Her book So Much Better offers a
practical toolkit for reflection and change. Her

8
00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:46.399
own healing journey informs her own empathy
and advice to her clients, as well

9
00:00:46.439 --> 00:00:52.280
as her knowledge of a wide range
of therapeutic modalities to further holistic wellness.

10
00:00:52.799 --> 00:00:57.000
Cindy, I'm delighted to welcome you
to the show. Thank you so much

11
00:00:57.039 --> 00:01:00.880
for having me. I'm really excited
for the conversation. So, Cindy,

12
00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:04.959
I covered a few topic areas what
did I not tell our audience that you'd

13
00:01:06.040 --> 00:01:11.640
like to share with them? So? I like to see myself as a

14
00:01:11.640 --> 00:01:19.640
healer and someone who is here to
bring love and light and to help others

15
00:01:19.879 --> 00:01:26.120
see that in themselves. I love
that that's wonderful. We're definitely going to

16
00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:32.439
come back to that concept. I
want to take a quick look at this

17
00:01:32.640 --> 00:01:38.439
short video where you talked about it
being a good thing to feel uncomfortable,

18
00:01:40.239 --> 00:01:47.000
and I definitely agree. Discomfort makes
us push ourselves and learn new skills in

19
00:01:47.040 --> 00:01:51.239
my view, So let's take a
quick look. I just coach a client

20
00:01:51.319 --> 00:01:57.560
today about how the comfort zone can
be very misleading because we may end up

21
00:01:57.599 --> 00:02:00.879
doing things or putting up with things
to be comfortable, but it may not

22
00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:06.920
be for our highest good or for
our growth. And as an example,

23
00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:10.919
this client has been dealing with challenging
relationships in her life and it's been causing

24
00:02:10.960 --> 00:02:15.680
a lot of stress and anxiety and
worry, and it's been really weighing on

25
00:02:15.759 --> 00:02:20.280
her and it's taking up a lot
of energy and also time in her day.

26
00:02:21.319 --> 00:02:24.439
And through coaching, I taught her
a lot of tools, techniques,

27
00:02:24.479 --> 00:02:30.520
and perspectives so that she can move
past it and advocate for herself. And

28
00:02:30.599 --> 00:02:38.080
if you are a modern superwoman who's
been feeling unsettled or stressed and overwhelmed even

29
00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:43.479
though things look good on the surface
because you've checked all the boxes, I

30
00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:49.120
want you to book a free breakthrough
call with me, because we're going to

31
00:02:49.159 --> 00:02:53.479
talk about what's really going on,
and you're going to gain insights you've never

32
00:02:53.560 --> 00:02:59.000
realized. And if it feels aligned, I can share my thoughts and resources

33
00:02:59.039 --> 00:03:04.199
to support you to get to the
other side with ease, because you deserve

34
00:03:04.520 --> 00:03:08.439
to enjoy the life you worked so
hard for and to feel so much better

35
00:03:09.759 --> 00:03:15.159
city. So, what do you
think are a couple of great ways for

36
00:03:15.240 --> 00:03:20.599
people to actively push themselves outside of
their comfort zone? We all fall into

37
00:03:20.639 --> 00:03:27.199
these patterns of our daily lives,
and how do we make a sustained effort

38
00:03:27.240 --> 00:03:32.039
to actually push ourselves out of that
zone? So I think it takes intention

39
00:03:32.919 --> 00:03:40.400
and it's also a practice. And
I think you're totally right that we as

40
00:03:40.479 --> 00:03:49.280
humans default to the comfort zone right
from a physiological perspective where our brains are

41
00:03:49.280 --> 00:03:54.080
wired for survival, and so we're
always looking for things experiences that keeps us

42
00:03:54.120 --> 00:04:02.120
safe, and what that means is
things that are familiar, right because we

43
00:04:02.199 --> 00:04:10.360
know, we know what to expect, and so oftentimes we get essentially almost

44
00:04:10.360 --> 00:04:15.479
complacent in a sense right when we're
in that place of comfort. So it

45
00:04:15.560 --> 00:04:23.600
does take active intention and effort to
continually evolve, to grow and expand and

46
00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:29.319
also I think recognizing that it is
uncomfortable. Right, change and growth is

47
00:04:29.399 --> 00:04:33.839
uncomfortable, but it's also on the
other side, it can also bring you

48
00:04:33.959 --> 00:04:41.360
so much more and really enrich your
life in so many more ways. That

49
00:04:41.360 --> 00:04:45.879
that's why you do the work right, so that you can experience the whole

50
00:04:45.879 --> 00:04:53.120
spectrum of life. Yeah, totally
agree. I think it's fascinating because we

51
00:04:53.399 --> 00:05:00.240
in our coaching business encounter so many
people who agree with the need to change,

52
00:05:00.319 --> 00:05:03.560
to push themselves outside of their comfort
zone, and then struggle with the

53
00:05:03.639 --> 00:05:11.240
how One of the pieces of advice
that we always have for people is pushing

54
00:05:11.240 --> 00:05:15.519
yourself outside of your comfort zone.
Doesn't have to be in your workplace or

55
00:05:15.560 --> 00:05:21.279
in your role as a wife or
parent or sister. It could be something

56
00:05:21.319 --> 00:05:28.120
as simple as push yourself to take
up a new hobby or try something different.

57
00:05:28.279 --> 00:05:32.439
Right, that's not kind of so
fundamentally threatening and challenging, but is

58
00:05:32.519 --> 00:05:39.560
almost a sort of enjoyable environment to
try something new And tell us a little

59
00:05:39.560 --> 00:05:44.240
bit about that in terms of how
you help your clients put this into practice.

60
00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:48.639
Yeah, I think that's a really
good point of that. I always

61
00:05:48.680 --> 00:05:56.399
say that everyone is different, so
that things you need are different and a

62
00:05:56.399 --> 00:06:00.199
lot of times I think we have
a tendency to look external, to look

63
00:06:00.199 --> 00:06:03.199
at what's going on in the world. You know, there's so much comparison,

64
00:06:03.680 --> 00:06:08.160
and we think it has to look
a certain way or be a certain

65
00:06:08.199 --> 00:06:12.759
way in order for us to be
successful or whatever it is, right,

66
00:06:13.279 --> 00:06:19.600
And I think when you are talking
about growth and change, whether it's professional

67
00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:29.160
or personal, it's a process and
everyone can do it at their own pace.

68
00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:34.360
Yeah, And it's really about giving
yourself permission to do it your way,

69
00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:38.519
right, Like what are the shoulds
that you have to let go of?

70
00:06:39.240 --> 00:06:40.800
You know, I think there are
people who are like, oh,

71
00:06:40.839 --> 00:06:43.759
I can't do that. I've never
done that before. And it's like,

72
00:06:43.759 --> 00:06:46.600
okay, well, but the question
is do you want to do it right?

73
00:06:46.879 --> 00:06:54.680
Right? And really tapping into that
and also breaking it to smaller digestible

74
00:06:54.759 --> 00:06:57.639
pieces. Right. It's like if
you want to run a marathon, you

75
00:06:57.639 --> 00:07:00.639
don't just go out and run a
marathon. You know about a train,

76
00:07:00.920 --> 00:07:03.000
right, you don't. You don't
go for like never running to like running

77
00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:09.759
twenty six smiles, but you don't. It's it's not really ideal. Right.

78
00:07:09.839 --> 00:07:15.680
So so it's and especially as we
talk about how we have to learn

79
00:07:15.720 --> 00:07:21.160
to be uncomfortable. Everyone has a
different threshold, yeah, And so it's

80
00:07:21.240 --> 00:07:29.839
recognizing who you are, right,
recognizing what works for you, and building

81
00:07:29.959 --> 00:07:33.199
up to that. And I think
a common misconception is people think that,

82
00:07:33.639 --> 00:07:36.560
Okay, if I break it down, if it's really simple, it's not

83
00:07:36.600 --> 00:07:40.519
going to work, or you know, it's going to be too slow,

84
00:07:40.839 --> 00:07:44.680
or like right, we work with
all the high achievers who wanted things done

85
00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:50.920
like yesterday, so um, it's
but it's actually on the contrary, right.

86
00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:54.879
I think we see this all the
time, where it's like sometimes you

87
00:07:55.000 --> 00:08:00.600
have to slow down to speed up. Yeah, And it's about being in

88
00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:07.000
full alignment with who you are right, knowing what you need, and having

89
00:08:07.040 --> 00:08:11.560
that clarity so that you know exactly
where you want to go and then you

90
00:08:11.600 --> 00:08:16.959
can be very intentional about the steps, the how and all of that,

91
00:08:16.680 --> 00:08:20.120
as opposed to you know, getting
stuck in the first part of like you

92
00:08:20.160 --> 00:08:24.759
know, just wanting it all done
and then it's too overwhelming for your system

93
00:08:24.240 --> 00:08:28.680
and then you don't get anywhere.
Now, that's very well said, and

94
00:08:28.079 --> 00:08:37.080
I think it's a perfect segue into
this idea of connecting to our intuition as

95
00:08:37.159 --> 00:08:43.039
you said, everyone is different,
and we each of us knows ourselves best.

96
00:08:43.279 --> 00:08:48.039
No one else can tell us that. Even in coaching in the end,

97
00:08:48.039 --> 00:08:52.200
as a coach, you play an
interpretive role as sort of a guide

98
00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:58.559
and a shirt buy in a way
to help individuals map themselves better and understand

99
00:08:58.600 --> 00:09:05.519
themselves better. I want to take
a quick look at this video where you

100
00:09:05.639 --> 00:09:11.960
talked about how hard it is to
trust our gut. Let's take a quick

101
00:09:11.960 --> 00:09:16.879
look, and I spoke on the
topic of giving yourself permission to trust your

102
00:09:16.919 --> 00:09:22.440
gut. And it's really important to
know that you have all the answers within

103
00:09:22.799 --> 00:09:26.879
you really do. But a lot
of times when we're really stressed out,

104
00:09:26.960 --> 00:09:33.000
when we're overwhelmed, we can't access
We're in a state of survival and fight

105
00:09:33.080 --> 00:09:35.519
or flight, so we can't access
our inner wisdom and our true knowing.

106
00:09:37.320 --> 00:09:41.360
So I led the group in an
exercise to connect to your intuition, and

107
00:09:41.480 --> 00:09:46.120
it was super well received. People
were asking for the recording, and so

108
00:09:46.200 --> 00:09:50.120
I was able to create a short
recording that I wanted to offer to you

109
00:09:50.519 --> 00:09:54.480
as a free gift in case you
are feeling stuck on something. If you

110
00:09:54.600 --> 00:10:00.559
notice yourself saying I don't know I'm
not sure. I'm confused. Please try

111
00:10:00.600 --> 00:10:03.720
this exercise out. Okay, It's
less than five minutes, and I provide

112
00:10:03.720 --> 00:10:07.639
a simple practice and technique for you
to connect your intuition, using your body's

113
00:10:07.679 --> 00:10:11.720
intelligence and wisdom and using that to
guide you so that you can make the

114
00:10:11.720 --> 00:10:16.000
best decision for you. All right, So try it out, let me

115
00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:18.879
know how it goes, and if
you're really feeling stuck, please come talk

116
00:10:18.879 --> 00:10:20.759
to me. You don't have to
be stuck if you don't want to,

117
00:10:20.960 --> 00:10:24.279
Okay, Cindia, As you said, it is hard to trust our gut

118
00:10:24.720 --> 00:10:31.440
and stop second guessing ourselves in a
decision making process. What are the steps

119
00:10:31.480 --> 00:10:37.960
that you recommend to your clients so
they can start to listen to themselves,

120
00:10:37.960 --> 00:10:43.639
start to learn to listen to themselves
more. Yeah, I think it starts

121
00:10:43.879 --> 00:10:48.399
with very simple things, right.
So, I think intuition is a really

122
00:10:48.440 --> 00:10:56.000
great skill and tool that helps us
in our every day whether it's professional business

123
00:10:56.000 --> 00:11:01.120
decisions are also personal life you know, whatever, to decisions you're trying to

124
00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:09.399
make, and when you haven't necessarily
honed or developed the skill, Yeah,

125
00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:16.399
it feels very confusing to to like, it's like, what do you mean

126
00:11:16.480 --> 00:11:20.440
intuition like I don't know, you
know, I don't know what answer is.

127
00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:24.480
I don't even know what that means
right exactly, And so it's it

128
00:11:24.559 --> 00:11:28.080
comes from I always like to break
things down and make it very simple,

129
00:11:28.320 --> 00:11:33.000
and it starts with the little things, you know, start with things like

130
00:11:35.440 --> 00:11:43.080
the decisions that are very low stakes. For example, instead of maybe you

131
00:11:43.159 --> 00:11:46.679
have to make a decision about okay, do I let this team member go?

132
00:11:48.600 --> 00:11:52.559
I mean that can be really really
stressful and this this decision that could

133
00:11:52.600 --> 00:11:56.120
impact a lot of people, your
team and all the things. And so

134
00:11:56.759 --> 00:12:01.799
instead of going there right, let's
start with something like Okay, what do

135
00:12:01.840 --> 00:12:05.480
I want to eat today? What
do I want to be for lunch?

136
00:12:05.240 --> 00:12:09.600
And just like in tune into your
body to be like, okay, well,

137
00:12:09.799 --> 00:12:13.720
take a few breaths and see ask
yourself, like what do I feel

138
00:12:13.720 --> 00:12:16.559
like eating today? And then you
know, it could be the salad,

139
00:12:16.600 --> 00:12:20.200
it could be whatever, you know, whatever it is, and then go

140
00:12:20.360 --> 00:12:30.320
with the answer that you feel most
connected to and then actually do it right,

141
00:12:30.480 --> 00:12:35.519
follow through and then see how you
feel after right, Because there are

142
00:12:35.519 --> 00:12:37.159
certain things, I mean, I'm
sure you know for me, I know

143
00:12:37.200 --> 00:12:41.240
that there are certain foods that just
don't agree with me, right, I

144
00:12:41.320 --> 00:12:46.159
can't eat really having you like whatever
oily creamy things and and so I know,

145
00:12:46.240 --> 00:12:48.240
but then sometimes you're like, well
you really want to eat it?

146
00:12:48.559 --> 00:12:54.759
Yeah, so's it's just about really
tuning in and as you continue to build

147
00:12:56.080 --> 00:13:01.440
that practice of listening to yourself,
Yeah, that's how you build trust in

148
00:13:01.480 --> 00:13:07.840
yourself, and that's what strengthens your
intuition. Because think about it like a

149
00:13:09.759 --> 00:13:16.120
it's almost like a friend who's always
been there, Yeah, but you haven't

150
00:13:16.159 --> 00:13:20.919
been in conversation, so you haven't
been nurturing and building that friendship. And

151
00:13:20.960 --> 00:13:26.600
then it's almost like all of a
sudden you're like calling them up and be

152
00:13:26.639 --> 00:13:30.039
like, hey, tell me this. I mean they're like confused, right,

153
00:13:30.080 --> 00:13:31.960
They're like what do you want?
Like you never talk to me and

154
00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:35.840
now you want me to help you. Right. So it's about really rebuilding

155
00:13:35.840 --> 00:13:39.480
that relationship and connection. So I
really hope people can see it like that

156
00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:43.679
and know that you know this intuition, this skill and ability, your gut,

157
00:13:43.720 --> 00:13:48.200
like the answers are there, it's
within, right, but it's learning

158
00:13:48.279 --> 00:13:54.320
to cultivate that relationship again and rebuilding
that trust. Totally agree. I think

159
00:13:54.399 --> 00:14:00.399
so much of this ties into this
idea, and I think it is especially

160
00:14:00.440 --> 00:14:05.519
as women, we struggle with this. I know I have in at phases

161
00:14:07.559 --> 00:14:13.840
how to prioritize ourselves right when there's
so many different demands on our time,

162
00:14:13.120 --> 00:14:20.080
it's often a struggle to make an
active decision to I am going to carve

163
00:14:20.120 --> 00:14:26.000
out some time to think about myself, to go exercise for myself, whatever

164
00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:28.639
it is you decide to do in
terms of how you interpret that, but

165
00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:35.679
you had this to say in terms
of how people can start prioritizing themselves.

166
00:14:35.759 --> 00:14:39.000
Let's take a quick look. I
let a workshop on how to prioritize you

167
00:14:39.519 --> 00:14:45.879
and redefine self care to thrive in
work and life, and I shared golden

168
00:14:45.960 --> 00:14:50.080
nuggets from my Signature Connected program and
how it all starts with C for clarity,

169
00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:54.120
because we have to know where we
want to go in order to get

170
00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:56.960
there. Same thing as when we
go into our car putting the address in

171
00:14:58.000 --> 00:15:01.159
the GPS and then the GPS can
guide us. Right, It's the same

172
00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:05.519
thing. And I wanted to offer
you the questions that I share earlier so

173
00:15:05.559 --> 00:15:09.759
that you can start this process too. So number one, what does taking

174
00:15:09.799 --> 00:15:16.519
care of myself look like? Number
two? What is preventing me from prioritizing

175
00:15:16.559 --> 00:15:22.159
myself. And number three, what
does it mean to thrive in work and

176
00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:26.759
life? So I want you to
pause, save this, take some time

177
00:15:26.759 --> 00:15:30.159
to reflect and think about this and
really see what do I really need right

178
00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:33.759
now? And if you're ready,
if you want the tools and techniques to

179
00:15:33.799 --> 00:15:35.960
get you where you want to go, come talk to me about coaching.

180
00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:41.919
I'm excited to offer my signature Connected
program in a group coaching experience starting in

181
00:15:43.039 --> 00:15:46.679
January. Applications are being reviewed on
a rolling basis, and I really want

182
00:15:46.679 --> 00:15:50.080
you to apply, especially if you're
ready to move from a place of constant

183
00:15:50.120 --> 00:15:56.000
stress and overwhelm to a place of
calm and being unstoppable. So, Cindy,

184
00:15:56.799 --> 00:16:03.759
what are the acts of self care
that you recommend? So people start

185
00:16:03.799 --> 00:16:06.799
to do this on a systematic basis, so it's not a question that they're

186
00:16:06.799 --> 00:16:11.000
asking themselves once a month, but
it becomes, as you said, almost

187
00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:15.759
part of their daily kind of mindfulness
practice of what is the time you carve

188
00:16:15.799 --> 00:16:21.200
out for yourself during a day?
Yeah, I think the first thing to

189
00:16:21.279 --> 00:16:26.960
know is that, yes, we
have limited time in our days, but

190
00:16:27.240 --> 00:16:33.759
you actually get to choose how you
spend your time. Yeah, and knowing

191
00:16:33.840 --> 00:16:41.799
that a lot of self care practices
don't take law. You know, there's

192
00:16:41.440 --> 00:16:45.120
all kinds of self care you can
do, and I think a lot of

193
00:16:45.120 --> 00:16:51.279
times we have this idea that self
care needs to look a certain way.

194
00:16:51.399 --> 00:16:55.320
It's like those pampering moments. You
go to the spa, you know,

195
00:16:55.399 --> 00:16:59.279
you go on a retreat, you
you know, take this lavish vacation,

196
00:16:59.399 --> 00:17:06.160
and absolutely those are great, but
it's also the things you can do in

197
00:17:06.200 --> 00:17:10.680
the little moments throughout your day.
Yeah, a lot of the things,

198
00:17:10.759 --> 00:17:15.559
especially with mindfulness, it's about connecting
to the present moment. It's connecting to

199
00:17:15.640 --> 00:17:19.680
your body. It's taking that simple
cleansing breath, you know, it's ground

200
00:17:19.720 --> 00:17:25.279
and feeling your toes on the ground, and these are the things that help

201
00:17:25.319 --> 00:17:32.240
you reset and recharge. And so
I think it's really important to recognize that

202
00:17:33.799 --> 00:17:41.920
you are absolutely worthy and deserving of
of taking care of being taken care of,

203
00:17:41.960 --> 00:17:47.119
you know, and that it's only
when you are well that you can

204
00:17:47.160 --> 00:17:53.680
really be the best you can be. Right. We think about think about

205
00:17:53.680 --> 00:18:00.359
when I know, for me,
when I am so hungry, like if

206
00:18:00.400 --> 00:18:03.519
I haven't been able to eat on
time, and it's like hours passing,

207
00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:08.279
I'm hungry and I get angry,
right, and it's like I'm not in

208
00:18:08.319 --> 00:18:14.599
a good mood. You and me
both, right, and then you know,

209
00:18:14.720 --> 00:18:18.720
so that's an example of when I
didn't take care of myself right,

210
00:18:18.759 --> 00:18:22.680
and I let myself go way past
empty and I'm not in a good place,

211
00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:25.319
even though I could be like Okay, yeah, you know, let

212
00:18:25.359 --> 00:18:30.359
me do this talk, this presentation, but from you know, at the

213
00:18:30.440 --> 00:18:34.440
core, I'm not necessarily in as
good a place as I could be had

214
00:18:34.480 --> 00:18:38.240
I been you know, had I
eaten at the time that I could have,

215
00:18:38.559 --> 00:18:42.480
or you know, whatever it is, and that all adds up,

216
00:18:42.599 --> 00:18:47.960
right, And so I really encourage
people to recognize that, hey, it

217
00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:52.799
does matter. Right, people can
tell when you're not in a good place,

218
00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:56.240
even though you know you might look
the same, but like there's just

219
00:18:56.319 --> 00:19:00.519
something there. It's like, because
you're not able to be fully you and

220
00:19:00.759 --> 00:19:03.480
bringing that best version of you.
And I think that you know, it's

221
00:19:03.720 --> 00:19:08.279
it's doing a disservice to others and
also yourself right, because you can and

222
00:19:08.359 --> 00:19:12.000
you do have so much to offer, and it's so important to make sure

223
00:19:12.039 --> 00:19:18.039
you do take care of yourself along
the way. Yeah, absolutely critical let's

224
00:19:18.039 --> 00:19:23.400
ship gears a little bit, Cindy. For all of us in our lives,

225
00:19:25.480 --> 00:19:29.920
in the various ways that we've evolved, coaching and mentorship have played a

226
00:19:29.960 --> 00:19:34.319
really key role. Whether that's happened
through more informal channels or through more formal

227
00:19:34.359 --> 00:19:38.400
ones. Tell us a little bit
about the role it's played in your life.

228
00:19:40.039 --> 00:19:45.920
It's been so transformative. I can't
even tell you. I think that

229
00:19:45.079 --> 00:19:52.440
I love coaching work with so many
different coaches have in the past continued to

230
00:19:52.279 --> 00:20:02.279
and I think that it's we do
have the air within, but a lot

231
00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:10.640
of times there's so much noise right
that we can't hear what we're really meant

232
00:20:10.640 --> 00:20:18.000
to do. And I think coaching
offers that support that very practical and tangible

233
00:20:18.400 --> 00:20:25.680
way of really moving past and making
really moving forward. You know, a

234
00:20:25.680 --> 00:20:30.480
lot of times when we're stuck,
it can feel it's like muddy or like

235
00:20:30.039 --> 00:20:37.160
you know this like thickness. It
feels unsettling and you know, just not

236
00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:40.920
a good place to be. But
I think coaching for me has been really

237
00:20:40.960 --> 00:20:45.680
helpful because I can sort through all
of this. I have the support,

238
00:20:45.160 --> 00:20:52.079
the wisdom and guidance right, and
also the accountability to canta critical peace,

239
00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:59.200
right, and you know, having
the discipline and all that to to continue

240
00:20:59.240 --> 00:21:04.000
to evolve and grow. And I
think the something to to also pay attention

241
00:21:04.039 --> 00:21:08.799
to is recognizing that when I always
I heard this a long time ago,

242
00:21:08.839 --> 00:21:14.960
and I really liked it that when
the student is ready, the teacher will

243
00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:21.279
appear. And I think that is
so true in terms of the coaching and

244
00:21:21.359 --> 00:21:26.440
mentors I've had where you know,
depending on where I was where I am,

245
00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:30.079
there are different things that are going
to be most helpful and supportive to

246
00:21:30.119 --> 00:21:37.960
me, right, And so recognizing
that there as different people with different skills

247
00:21:37.039 --> 00:21:42.680
that can support you and guide you, and that we all go through phases,

248
00:21:44.559 --> 00:21:48.200
right, and that there are there's
so many tools and resources out there

249
00:21:48.599 --> 00:21:52.319
that can be supportive. And I
think a big part is actually being open

250
00:21:52.400 --> 00:22:00.279
to it and giving yourself permission to
know that. I actually see it as

251
00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:07.480
a huge investment in yourself, right. It's knowing that you are deserving and

252
00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:12.039
worthy of this level of attention and
care, right so that you can continue

253
00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:17.599
to grow and become better and show
up better and share that with all the

254
00:22:17.640 --> 00:22:22.480
others in your life as well.
You've been to that journey for yourself,

255
00:22:22.039 --> 00:22:26.400
tell us a little bit about what
made you want to write so much Better?

256
00:22:27.079 --> 00:22:32.759
So So Much Better is a best
selling self help book that's based in

257
00:22:32.839 --> 00:22:38.680
mindfulness, and I share my various
tools and techniques. I created the Inspiring

258
00:22:38.720 --> 00:22:45.119
success Story method, which is comprised
of three key pillars of calm, confidence,

259
00:22:45.160 --> 00:22:49.920
and curiosity. And I saw this. I wrote this book because I

260
00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:55.480
kept seeing the same things come up
again and again through coaching clients, through

261
00:22:55.920 --> 00:22:59.799
my speaking, just talking to different
people, and I saw that these things

262
00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:03.920
coming up again and again, and
so I wanted to provide a very simple

263
00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:12.119
resource for people to start this process
there on their own right, to learn

264
00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:19.640
about some of the science behind stress, you know, getting past you know,

265
00:23:19.680 --> 00:23:23.599
the fear, working through your comfort
zone, things like that, and

266
00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:30.400
having tangible tools and techniques to really
shift your life so that you can become

267
00:23:30.440 --> 00:23:36.640
that inspiring success st or you're meant
to be. Love that and I'm very

268
00:23:36.680 --> 00:23:42.640
much looking forward to eating it.
Before we wrap up, Cindy, tell

269
00:23:42.759 --> 00:23:48.079
us, so, what message do
you have for so many women out there

270
00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:52.640
who are sort of who feel stuck, you know, whether it's in their

271
00:23:52.680 --> 00:23:59.680
own heads, whether it's by their
circumstances. They feel stuck in some way,

272
00:24:00.240 --> 00:24:03.960
how would you advise them to start
to focus on taking care of themselves.

273
00:24:06.599 --> 00:24:11.720
Yeah, And I see this a
lot because I focus on helping the

274
00:24:11.720 --> 00:24:21.079
these successful women right who are actually
hiding their suffering behind the scenes. And

275
00:24:21.880 --> 00:24:26.839
we live in this world where we
strive, we're expected to have things all

276
00:24:26.880 --> 00:24:33.519
figured out, this perfect life and
everything in order, when in reality everything's

277
00:24:33.519 --> 00:24:37.720
a mess. Yeah, you know, life is messy. Yeah, and

278
00:24:37.880 --> 00:24:41.160
nobody wants to admit it. And
I think along the way, we picked

279
00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:45.119
up these messages, these beliefs about
how we should act and behave in a

280
00:24:45.119 --> 00:24:48.599
certain way, that there's a right
way and a wrong way to do things.

281
00:24:49.160 --> 00:24:52.200
You know, we have to check
off the boxes, taking care of

282
00:24:52.240 --> 00:25:00.319
everything and everyone else. And essentially
all of these messages that we receive really

283
00:25:02.200 --> 00:25:07.319
I think feed into this this mistaken
belief that we're not enough, you know,

284
00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:12.559
that that we're not accepted as we
are. Right, And so the

285
00:25:12.599 --> 00:25:18.200
first thing is to stop this nonsense, right, that we have to let

286
00:25:18.279 --> 00:25:23.400
go of what's not working for us. And so it first comes to the

287
00:25:23.400 --> 00:25:27.279
first step is really awareness, Right, we have to recognize where we are

288
00:25:27.680 --> 00:25:34.079
what's not working, because we can't
change what we don't know yeah, right,

289
00:25:34.519 --> 00:25:41.359
And so I think a big part
of it is taking those those moments,

290
00:25:41.400 --> 00:25:48.480
whether it's two minutes or three hours, but just creating some space in

291
00:25:48.519 --> 00:25:55.359
your life so that you can be
with just you, Yeah, you know,

292
00:25:55.480 --> 00:26:00.640
having that space to be in silence, to allow the messages, the

293
00:26:00.720 --> 00:26:06.240
feelings to come up, to be
like, hey, well, who am

294
00:26:06.279 --> 00:26:10.680
I really like? What did I
come to do? Did I come to

295
00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:14.440
you know, check off all the
boxes? But you know all of that?

296
00:26:15.079 --> 00:26:18.079
Or is it because I have some
gifts that I really enjoy and I

297
00:26:18.119 --> 00:26:21.400
really am meant to share, you
know. I think we talked about this

298
00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:30.480
earlier about how um UM in terms
of UM the educational system. A lot

299
00:26:30.519 --> 00:26:36.400
of times, you know, we
have UM we're so focused on performance,

300
00:26:37.079 --> 00:26:45.480
on what success looks like that UM
it's it's a very narrow definition, and

301
00:26:45.640 --> 00:26:49.960
it can be very limiting and UM. You know, we're we're selling ourselves

302
00:26:51.000 --> 00:26:56.480
short. And a lot of the
clients I work with, they're they'll tell

303
00:26:56.519 --> 00:27:00.680
me they're like, oh, I
would really like to start my own business

304
00:27:00.680 --> 00:27:03.640
doing you know, arts and crafts
or this and that, and I'm like

305
00:27:03.680 --> 00:27:10.119
that's amazing, and you know,
and to really cultivate that and they're like,

306
00:27:10.160 --> 00:27:11.119
oh, but I don't think I
can do it. You know,

307
00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:15.119
this is a buch safer job.
I went to school for this, and

308
00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:18.440
you know, all things right,
like all of these beliefs that we've been

309
00:27:19.279 --> 00:27:26.319
fed and held on addition to have
exactly And it's about really pausing to question

310
00:27:27.319 --> 00:27:33.759
and to really ask yourself, like
things like you know, if you knew

311
00:27:34.119 --> 00:27:41.559
you couldn't fail, what would you
do differently? Yeah, Like if you

312
00:27:41.640 --> 00:27:45.759
had special gifts, which we all
do, We're all here for a reason.

313
00:27:45.839 --> 00:27:48.759
Like if you had gifts only you
could share, what would you do?

314
00:27:49.240 --> 00:27:53.880
And like if there are people out
there waiting for you to shine your

315
00:27:55.000 --> 00:28:00.960
light, how would you show up? No, and really connecting to that

316
00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:07.359
essence of people right that's within and
knowing that you know it's it's you get

317
00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:12.160
to do it your way and to
really enjoy the process as it unfolds.

318
00:28:12.920 --> 00:28:18.240
So that's great advice and I love
the way you put it. You know,

319
00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:22.680
if you were guaranteed not to fail, how would you show up?

320
00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:27.119
And how would you share your own
unique light? Because that is the thing

321
00:28:27.319 --> 00:28:32.400
each of us has to bring into
this world and give it to others,

322
00:28:33.640 --> 00:28:40.359
and that is ultimately the path to
feeling fulfilled and happy and well, it

323
00:28:40.400 --> 00:28:45.480
really is. And I think especially
working with high achieving women and us having

324
00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:51.000
our own experiences and journeys ourselves and
working through so much of it right,

325
00:28:51.079 --> 00:28:53.720
it's it's breaking through, letting go
of a lot of conditioning totally. And

326
00:28:53.920 --> 00:29:00.359
also I think for me growing up
in Taiwan, having a lot of the

327
00:29:00.559 --> 00:29:06.440
traditional Chinese cultural values and you know
that part of my upbringing. And it's

328
00:29:06.480 --> 00:29:10.640
also recognizing that it's not either or
it's not like you know, having a

329
00:29:10.680 --> 00:29:14.480
business, not practicing as a physician, that's a failure that you know,

330
00:29:14.559 --> 00:29:21.200
it's it's I actually am honoring my
family, me and all the right and

331
00:29:21.519 --> 00:29:26.880
so it's I think really helping people
see that they do have choice and options

332
00:29:27.400 --> 00:29:34.319
and that it's never too late.
It's positive evolution. Yeah, wonderful.

333
00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:42.160
Well, thank you so much for
joining us. Thank you, thanks for

334
00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:47.839
listening. Please subscribe wherever you listen
and leave us a review. Find your

335
00:29:47.880 --> 00:29:52.920
Ideal Coach at www dot vidmx dot
com. Special thanks to our producer Martin

336
00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:55.960
Maluski and singer songwriter Doug Allen