And here we go with today's Minnesota Goodbye. Yesterday, we made the mistake
of asking for a certain kind of email, and we've got one already.
It is the emergency Pooh story, So here we go. Nicole writes,
saying, hello, my favorite podcast. Thank you. That is very much,
very flattering you asked for emergency Pooh stories. I was in college and
I went out to Big Island on the fourth of July Classic with my friends,
and I slept on my friend's boat that night. The boat was docked
at their marina. The next morning, I woke up very early around five
a into some rumbling. I knew I had to act fast. For those
that don't know much about cabin sleeper boats, one huge rule is you do
not pooh on the boat, and I think that is whenever I talk to
bands that travel by bus, they have a rule that you don't pooh on
the tour bus. I knew there were some public porta potties about a half
mile away, so I began my track. Well, basically, I got
off the boat, started walking down the dock and things were really starting to
move. I had to make the quick decision on where to do the deed.
I ended up squatting in a corner of the marina, right out in
the open for everyone to see. To my knowledge, nobody saw me.
But every time I go that by marina, I'm reminded of this shitty memory.
Love you, guys. I would love a staff writer sticker from a
beer fridge. Ha ha ha. If you still have some, I am
running out. I'm getting down to the last few, so I get a
mail some more out. I haven't done any in a couple of weeks,
but yeah, you will get it. Thank you, Nicole. That's why
we call you a staff writer, because you wrote content for the show next
one day for the first time ever since playing wordle. I'm about to google
today's answer. I can't figure it out. For the life of me.
I'm on the last line and I can't even get that wrong. Oh I
can't wait. Okay, the shame anyway, have you ever googled the answer?
I mean, you are a MENSA member, so I imagine not Love
you, David Jenny, Thanks for all you do. Dart licking from Stacy.
I did play wordle today and it took me five guesses, so let
me just look again. Here, hold on, I got to write myself
a note. Yeah, hold on, Steve Lettarte gave me an idea,
and hold on, I will tell you about that in a second. So
I did play wordle today, and I know you're not that fascinated with what
my wordal score was. But I got wordle today in five and it's not
the six tries get six tries. And I'm not going to give you any
clues because I've noticed that I'm not going to get too deep into wordle that
if you even make a comment like, oh, it's a really easy word,
that's a little bit too much of a clue. Or if you go,
oh, I guess to D and that wasn't in there, then well
that is too much of a clue. And if you say something like oh,
it was a really hard word, you're gonna hate it, well that's
too So I don't give clues, but it's a very I will say this
one. It is a standard wordle word difficult but not crazy. And I've
never googled the answer. I just keep guessing bad. Can I tell you
what I do know? This is a confession. You ready, Yeah,
I'm a little bit embarrassed about it. Okay, here we go. Only
a few people know this. You get six chances on wordle to guess a
five letter word. If I get frustrated, I'll guess pussy, pussy,
pussy, I do, and they'll tell you what the word actually is.
But I will guess pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy or whatever just until
it because I'm frustrated. I'm like, fuck it, I don't care,
and I think it's funny. And then I'll send it to my friend Nate
and another friend of mine and they're like, oh, you gave up and
you guess pussy. I'm like, yeah, that's because it's funny. You're
funny, Okay, thank you. What do you call in this episode?
Pussy? I don't know that I can do that because then it'd have to
be like pee with five stars after it, So I could, I mean,
that'll probably drawn, you know, or four stars puss. Why that's
four stars? I had to think for a second how many stars it actually
would be? Yeah, no, whatever you want to do. Or you
could do P star star star y or p star ss y. That would
probably get you. Yeah, I know, next one. I love y'all
forever. Listening to The Dave Ryan Show pre Dave even in the eighties.
I want a lovely neon splatter painted sweatshirt. Emblaze it with the station logo.
One of my biggest regrets is letting that prize go. I was also
a guest on Dave's Take a Shower podcast about drinking too much wine. I
think I remember you, spoiler. I still drink too much wine, and
I have written to the Minnesota Goodbye Pod a few times. I'm just gonna
stop there for a second and say, Jamie, I don't remember your specific
story by your name, but I kind of do. I will tell you
this one. I have not had a drink since eleven forty five New Year's
Eve, and I sometimes want one, but my sleep is is one hundred
times better than it was. I don't have troublego when you drink before you
go to bed. This is what I would usually do. I'd have a
drink before I went to bed, and it was like ooh, a nighty
night, warmy, warmy, cozy, cozy. And then I'd wake up
three hours later and I'd have to pee, yeah, and I wouldn't feel
warm and cozy, and I couldn't get back to sleep. So I don't
do that anymore. I still wake up sometimes, but I usually get pretty
much right back to sleep. And sleep is a natural deep sleep, not
an alcohol and do sleep. So if you want a reason to stop drinking,
sleep, Yeah. I believe that. I talked to one of our
sales guys at our holiday party, and I think like a lot of people
have a little bit of a misconception about who I actually am outside of work
because we talk about how much of a party are right right, and realistically,
I actually, like do not drink punch at all anymore. And I've
never been like a just have a glass of wine at night type of person.
You really It's like, if I have something fun going on, I'm
probably drinking. But like I'm getting older and I don't do as many things.
So he was like, you know, I'm gonna we were talking about
getting good sleep. He goes, I'm gonna tell you something You're probably not
gonna like it. And I go, well, tell me, and he
goes, well, I cut out alcohol like six months ago, and like,
you know, I was having a drink a day and I go,
I just want to clear something up. I am not drinking every day,
I am. I've never been that person. I rarely. I drink maybe
once twice a month now, like total, at something that I have going
on that's a social event. And and he was like, oh, well,
I just you know, I thought maybe that would help you. And
I go, no, I'm not the person who's having a glass of wine
and going to bed and then waking up because of the alcohol and stuff.
That's not who I am. Yeah, And it is kind of a misconception.
It's kind of like, you know, we make fun of Jenny being
a drunk, and I used to be. I'm not saying that that never
was dry. I wasn't a dry, but I definitely partied a lot.
Well, here's the funny thing. A lot of kids when they were little,
they played duck duck goose. Jenny played duck duck, gray goose.
And I made up that joke yesterday just for you. So there's duck duck,
duck duck, what is it dunk duck, duck goose or duck duck,
great gray duck, duckduck goose. Yeah. I came from Wisconsin,
where it's duck duck goose, and when I heard it was gray duck in
Minnesota, I was like, you all are a bunch of weird I was
over here. He was duck duck goose when I was growing up in Colorado.
But I was pretty proud of myself because I came up with a joke.
Jenny, when she was a kid played duck duck gray duck gray goose.
Fucked never mind, fucked up my own joke. Shut up, fuck
up, Dave go retire. Okay, next one. And today, she
continues, Jamie, I would like to weigh in on the happily ever after
subject that's come up a few times in the recent past. I'm forty seven.
I first met my husband when we were twenty. At that point,
I was with my son's father, who had recently become friends with this new
guy who I couldn't stand. He was cocky and rude and always had to
be right. I was super annoyed whenever he came around until I wasn't.
All of a sudden he was charming and thoughtful and even kind of intelligent.
We became friends. Now, Remember she's married. Fast forward, No,
she wasn't. She was not married. She was It was her son's father,
So in other words, they weren't married. They just had a baby
together. Fast forward about a year, we started dating, really digging each
other. But we were young, so young, on again, off again,
rinse, repeat. But at twenty four we were married. At twenty
six, we had a baby. Over the next decade we would endure physical
illnesses in one child, emotional trauma, behavior problems in the other, and
a betrayal problem between each other. But we eventually overcame it all against all
odds. We fought and we won. We reclaimed our friendship, We invented
our we reinvented our love. And today I couldn't imagine my life with anyone
else. My point, nothing worth it is ever going to be easy.
You never get to stop working at it. But I promise that if you
do, if you do, it can be the best thing you ever did.
Next to dart Lick, dart Lick, I love that you are funny,
So hang in their lovers forever, Jamie, and she gives me her
address for a staff writer sticker click took a picture. Thank you, Jamie.
I love that, Charie says my favorite morning show crew. This is
Charisse, one of your biggest fans. I always say your name wrong,
and I always will even if I knew how to say it. Right,
I'd probably say it wrong just to piss her off. And I feel like
she she came up to us at the stay fair, right and so and
I and I was like, called, we're gonna remember, We're gonna remember.
But now, because you go back and forth of the proper way to
say it, now, I can't remember what she told us. That's fair.
I don't either, wondering if anybody has ever met or believed they met
their soulmate while they were already in a relationship, and what happened if they
decided to leave their relationship and start a new one. I saw it on
readit by the way, and thought it would be an interesting discussion. I
think it happens all the time. I think that your d I think a
lot of people, especially maybe younger people that aren't really experienced in love.
Didn't we talk about last sometimes you know you're in love in the same way
you know you had an orgasm. Didn't we make that analogy last week?
Man? We talked about a lot last week, So probably and I'm blanking
on what the conversation was, But because I think I remember saying, sometimes
you think you're in love, Like the first girlfriend I had I was eighteen
or nineteen years old that we would say I love you. We weren't in
love. We were just kind of smitten and we had a good time and
it was all new and whatever. But then when you're really in love,
you kind of know. It's like, oh, I thought I was in
love before. Maybe we use the good the analogy good sex. It's like,
I thought I had good sex before. Did we use that analogy we
use that? We said that it was mostly just like, yeah, you
knew when you were actually having an orgasm because you thought you were, but
then you definitely know when you actually have it. Yeah, And I think
that's kind of what And so I'll go back to your email, Scharise that
you absolutely can meet your soulmate while you already in a relationship, and what
happened if they decided to leave their relationship and start a new one. Yeah,
I think that you they say this, and I think it's true.
Don't be with the one that you can live with, be with the one
you can't live without. And I really that echoes in my mind because it's
like, don't be the one that you can live don't be with the one
that you can live with. Like, oh, yeah, he's okay.
Oh she's okay, Yeah she's all right. Be with the one that you
can't live without. Yeah, that's all I got to say about that one.
Okay, more emails. By the way, I'm curious. I wonder
how many people don't make it to the end of the Minnesota Goodbye. So
I'm just curious. We're not done yet. But I gotta believe that there
are people who absolutely listen through the entire thing every day, and then there
are people who listen and go, ah, I've heard enough. I mean
I do that once in a while. There's an airplane crash podcast. I
love it. There's these two women, Stephanie and Shelley, and they're so
I've gotten to know them. I almost feel like they're friends. And if
I ever met them, I'd be like, I feel like you two are
friends because they start the podcast with ten minutes of personal stories, then they
get into this serious plane crash stuff. Then they ended up with ten more
minutes of personal stories. And sometimes I stop after the plane crash content.
But I just wonder, do you listen to the very end? Do you
listen till you get bored? Do you listen till you go. I don't
care about that email anyway. Curious next one, I missed my missed calling
her texting my two best songs in the past twenty years, so I figured
I would email the podcast instead. Earlier on Wednesday morning, Jenny brought up
that the two best songs of the last twenty years are Cycloned by Baby Bash
and Photograph by Nickelback, which we thought was kind of funny. So Casey
writes in I'm gonna go with Somebody that I used to know by Gotia and
Can't Stop the Feeling by Justin Timberlakekay, I kind of forgot about, honestly,
both of those. But good songs, you know for sure, and
you know now that you mentioned it, I would say Mirrors by Justin Timberlake,
Well, that's not better than Cants Out the Feeling. I remember when
Cants Out the Feeling came out. I was still working on City's ninety seventh
morning show, and I thought it was such a good song. And I
was seeing some guy at the time who was totally a douche bag, and
I don't know why I was wasting my time with him, but I remember
being like, how's your day going? He's like, not great, and
I was like, oh, could it not be great? When this great
song by Justin Timberlake just came out and I sent him the link to it
across such a dead I was such a nerd. Oh my gosh, yeah,
because I was chasing something I shouldn't have been chasing. And it only
lasted about three weeks till I realized I wasn't going to chase that anymore.
Yeah, that's funny. I do love that song, all right. So
just a little challenge for you. You don't have to write him in if
you don't want to, but just kind of fun What are the two best
songs in the last twenty years? And the funny thing is, if you
haven't played this little challenge yet, you can change your mind because as soon
as you come up with two, you'll go, oh, well that one,
all right, Here we go emergency Pooh story and here we go it,
says Dave Jenny Drake. I always make sure I do number two before
going on a run, says Nicole. There was old There was one early
summer morning where I didn't. I began a couple of miles run out on
a trail. About halfway through I felt the gurgling gut. I thought I'd
keep going, but it got worse. I turned around to go back home,
hoping i could make it, but soon I realized I'm too far away.
It was coming now. I went off the trail into the trees near
a park in someone's backyard. Thankfully I was able to keep it in long
enough to pull down my shorts and underwear. The pooh exited quickly, and
I thank god I had a Kleenex in my pouch. The saving grace was
the early hour and the having the trees to hide in the sun hadn't come
up yet and not many people were out more pooh situations. Anybody's served in
the military surely has had to go in weird places at weird times. I
was overseas in Iraq on a long convoy. We would take bathroom on the
side of the road. Usually most of the time it's number one because we
had to drink so much water and stay hydrated while they're in the desert.
In Iraq, I had a few number two's on the side of the highway
next to the truck with traffic driving right by. I don't know if anybody
saw my bare bottom of that point, you don't care, you just gotta
go. That reminds me that I remember when I would do marathons, women
and men would trot into the woods just off the road to pee. Yep.
And I remember in the start of Grandma's marathon, maybe three or four
miles in, your bladder starts to act up and you go, oh,
I got a pee. I got a pee right now. So people would
see somebody run into the woods and be like going in to run the woods
too. I remember a woman ran into the woods no farther away from me
than you are right now, about six feet away, and I was facing
this way, and she squatted kind of like out of my peripheral vision,
and I might have glanced just to like, you know, like because you
can't help it. But let me tell you, there is nothing attractive about
watching somebody pee unless you're into that. No. So, but it was
like, I think you can easily safely do it without feeling like stared at
or oogled or whatever, because nobody cares you're there to pee just like they
are. Yeah, that makes sense, it totally does. But I man,
I can't imagine having to have done stuff like that in I mean,
if you're in the military and serving and stuff, and I know that it's
just like those are the situations you're put in. I would have such stage
fright always. I think I would just like constantly, like it would sit
in my system and I wouldn't be able to get it out if I was
having to do it on the side of the road like that. Yeah,
thank you for keeping me entertained and informed at work, Nicole, Thank you
very much. Next one is from sid in New York City. I'm out
in Colorado with my family this week. I've saved up a ton of show
podcasts Minnesota Goodbye, and I'm still fun to listen to while I'm here.
Which is your podcast with fallI Yeah, I, like many people have been
listening for almost a decade. I didn't know Dave's kid details. Question for
Dave, can you share how you and Susan ended up back together? You
know, I guess I could, But I really it makes somebody else not
look so good. I'll be honest, it makes Julie not look so good.
I'm and she's dead and I'm not going to make Julie not look so
good. So but yeah, I don't mind you asking I hope you don't
mind me not answering question for everyone, what place would be the best fit
for you to live in? Not necessarily that you want to live there right
now, but what place would fit your lifestyle vibe where you could be happiest
in the US and the entire world. Not talking family vacation into consideration,
we can assume they all live close oh family location. Yeah, So in
other words, I wouldn't want to move away because Alison lives here. But
I don't know. I would say, I don't know, maybe Montana or
Wyoming. Yeah, what about you Oregon? Okay? I went there last
year for a snowboarding trip, and it has the perfect mixture of activities.
You're right in between. It's kind of like Denver, where you've got mountains
on one side desert on the other, and then it's also decently close to
the ocean. So when we went there, I think our bartender told us
that he doesn't really travel to go on vacations because the vacation is just like
six hours away driving distance, because he could drive to like Napa Valley in
California from there, And so I think, yeah, Bend was just such
a cool city. That had so many things that Andrew and I like to
do activities wise, so totally, Ben I get that because that's a part
of the country that I've always wanted to visit and I've just never been out
that way. So that was one of my goals is to go out there
and ride the motorcycle around the Cascade Mountains. I think it'd be really awesome.
Did she answer for herself where she would? She did not know,
Actually she did not. There's one thing you haven't covered, Oh, she
It was somebody else asking the same question when you got together the final time
and when you got married, what was it that brought together? And again,
So like I said, I don't mind you asking if you don't mind
me not answering. Dave Jenny Drake, longtime listener, first time email or
when people were calling to talk about things they've seen on zoom calls. Last
Friday, you had a side discussion about beeping smoke detectors. I wanted to
give in your listeners a friendly PSA. Smoke detectors should be replaced every seven
to ten years. If your smoke detector starts beeping after you change the battery,
usually beeping once every five minutes or so versus the old sixties thirty to
sixty seconds. It is likely reached the end of its life and should be
replaced. Thanks for making me smile every day. Keep up the good work,
dart lick lick lick, dart lick. Ooh, that sounds delicious,
Laura, or you wanted to use delicious. Yeah, that sounds delicious.
That's from Laura in Eden Prairie thinking Laura, last one, I believe,
and here we go. This is from Kua. I don't know if it's
something you can help me with, but I remember Jenny had jury duty.
I just got a summons, and the instructions for what I'm supposed to do
on the day off is very confusing. I just want to know if Jenny
can do a quick summary of the steps you're supposed to do, that would
be appreciated. Fellow dart lick from Kua, Jenny. Yes, so they
should have given you a website and or a phone number you call in.
You have to check in the evening before, At least for mine, it
was like a six pm or later. You check in to see if you
have to report the next morning at like eight thirty or something. Like that,
So they will say a list of numbers. If your group number was
called, you have to go in. If your group number was not called,
you then have to check in again around like twelve thirty PM. I
think it is that next day. So say that's a Monday. Now you're
calling in at tenth or twelve thirty to then see if you have to report
for the afternoon time slot. It might be noon, like there's at least
like an hour of time in between where you you know if you have to
report. But that was always really frustrating to me because I would basically do
the morning show, sit around and wait until noon to call to see if
I then had to report for the afternoon and then you listen again to see
if your number is called. The website, I will say, fun fact,
was always updated sooner than the phone call was like updated, so that
was a faster way to see. But until your number is called or until
your two weeks are up, you do have to consistently be checking in if
you have not been called in. If you get called in, you could
be sitting in a waiting room forever. For me, I had a really
quick like they called my number right away. The day I reported, and
then I sat through a jury selection and was on a trial the next day
already that luckily was solved that day. So it really depends on how many
court cases they have that week, how serious the court cases are, stuff
like that. But yeah, the main thing is just pay attention to the
website and call in if that makes you more comfortable to call versus just looking
at the website. God, you just gave me like a post from I
had to express disorder because I remember all the days of wait to see whether
Jenny was coming back in and then calling Bailey and letting Bailey know whether shinny
to come in and work and anyway. And I one other thing is I
will say they skipped my group number and went to a different round because they
were just going in order of numbers and they skipped mine. And I was
like, sweet, there's no way I'm getting called in. And then I
got called in on my second week. And most people had told me like,
if you don't get called in the first week, you're probably not getting
called in. So just know that you still need to check every single day
up until your two weeks are over. Because I think I was called in
on a Wednesday in the second week of my call ins. You know what,
and some people go their whole life without doing jury duty. I've never
done jury duty and I don't mind. If I do, I wouldn't mind.
And that is it for the Minnesota Goodbye. If that sparked any ideas
you want to write in, get a staff writer sticker. Even if you've
written in before. You're more than welcome and encouraged to. I mean,
you're a staff writer, so you've got a duty to fulfill to come up
with content for the Minnesota Goodbye. Send those in you Ryan Show at KDWB
dot com. And if you're a first timer, Ben, thanks for being
here. We really appreciate it.