1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:15,800 Made a decision face sunny sad on I had a vision. What's up, 2 00:00:15,839 --> 00:00:21,879 everybody, Welcome to our Thursday special guest episode for crying out loud. We 3 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:25,079 have a special guest in studio. Well she's not in studio, she's on 4 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:29,039 our zoom. It's the first time we're doing a zoom guest, and it's 5 00:00:29,079 --> 00:00:35,439 the great Lisa Lampanelli. Yeah, you wish this wasn't the best thing in 6 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:43,000 your life, but we've been so genuinely excited to have you. I did 7 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:47,880 a deep dive into like what's going on with you? And I watched a 8 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:53,560 clip I was telling Lynette of you announcing your retirement on Howard Stern and it 9 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:58,799 was so you were so funny about it and so heartfelt, and then you 10 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:02,840 made sure to say that you would still call people cunts, which, oh, 11 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:07,760 yeah, we're big cunt callers. I honestly credit myself. I used 12 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:11,239 to feel like, oh, what if I actually contributed to the world, 13 00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:15,439 And then I was like, I made the word count possible for millions of 14 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:21,239 cunts and twats and labi is everywhere, because it really isn't a bad word 15 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:23,079 if you mean it with good intentions. If I said to you, guys, 16 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:29,200 Hey, a couple of counts. You laugh because and I just think 17 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:33,920 intention is important, so that it might be the only thing I've ever done 18 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:38,079 for the world. So we used to we used to call each other cunts, 19 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:42,959 you know, for a long time, and some people would get offended 20 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:46,400 and we had to you, guys, you have to stick with it until 21 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:51,799 people get through the being offended and to the other side where they feel confidently 22 00:01:51,799 --> 00:01:55,079 embraced it. It's a journey, but I think people get it. And 23 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:59,280 you know, also, you can't if you're saying it to each other in 24 00:01:59,359 --> 00:02:01,760 friendship like that. You know, when I was doing comedy and it was 25 00:02:01,799 --> 00:02:07,040 insult comedy and I'd include every race, creed, color, sexual orientation, 26 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:13,719 those people themselves knew and we're in on the joke. So if you're joking 27 00:02:13,719 --> 00:02:16,520 around with your friends and saying, oh, this dirty twat, they know 28 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:23,280 you're not serious. Although Lynnette has a very dirty tat. I think we 29 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:28,159 know this. Let's talk about that air, Yes, help yourself, Okay, 30 00:02:28,199 --> 00:02:32,120 thank you all. So I think a big thing that people know about 31 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:37,759 you is that you did retire from comedy. Everybody knows you as the queen 32 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:44,639 of mean like an original roast person Rose master Rose participant. I mean, 33 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,400 and you are the best at it, and I mean, I feel like 34 00:02:47,439 --> 00:02:52,599 we should just skip too, just because it's such an interesting story about how 35 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,800 you. I know, you lost a lot of weight and you had kind 36 00:02:54,840 --> 00:03:00,680 of a transformation physically but also mentally, and I want to know what brought 37 00:03:00,719 --> 00:03:07,680 you to decide like people are misunderstanding my comedy. Well I don't think that's 38 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:12,560 That's not why I retire everything as a as a as a you know, 39 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,919 something to talk about after a time. And I was like, well, 40 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,719 I'm glad that a byproduct is I'll never be misunderstood again, you know, 41 00:03:17,759 --> 00:03:23,840 because really things did change, and the way the reason I actually got out 42 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:29,639 was honestly, I started to become a noticer of my own life. Like 43 00:03:29,719 --> 00:03:34,479 I would literally be on such an autopilot, like so many people achievement oriented, 44 00:03:34,879 --> 00:03:37,639 or you're on this treadmill and you can't get off. And I was 45 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:39,439 like, wait, I started noticing every time I went to pack for the 46 00:03:39,479 --> 00:03:42,800 weekend away, I'd be like, oh, I don't want to go. 47 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,639 So the Thursday was always miserable because you're packing and you're like, oh my 48 00:03:46,719 --> 00:03:51,479 god, I'm only my dogs and my family and my parents at the time, 49 00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:54,639 and you just your house and your life, and I'm like, hmmm, 50 00:03:55,360 --> 00:04:00,560 I don't have to keep going. I just started noticing I wasn't lit 51 00:04:00,639 --> 00:04:02,560 up by it anymore. So I'm like, well, before I hate it, 52 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:08,479 before the audience is like she's phoning it in, let me just talk 53 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,800 to my business manager, see how much I have to save, and then 54 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:16,079 get out and live like a small life. So it's been great, crazy, 55 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,560 a weird adjustment, But I mean, I think people don't. We 56 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:27,879 don't notice our lives enough to get out before it's make guess miserable. Wow, 57 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:31,439 so there's nothing to you feeling like I don't want to be seen as 58 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:36,639 mean. I'm no. I mean, I that's a good byproduct of it, 59 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:40,839 of like, wow, I never again have to like get an email 60 00:04:40,959 --> 00:04:46,839 going. I didn't appreciate those jokes or whatever. It's just a byproduct of 61 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:49,079 it. But also I just kind of, I mean, I could go 62 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:54,279 back tomorrow and do stand up the exact same way, just because I'm the 63 00:04:54,319 --> 00:04:59,439 only gift I ever had was being likable. Honestly, rickles me to a 64 00:04:59,439 --> 00:05:02,439 certain extent. Jeffrey Ross Howard Stern. I think the only things we really 65 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:06,160 got going for us is somehow people let us say shit, you know, 66 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:11,879 because there's an underlying thing of like we know she's kidding. What a good 67 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:15,360 byproduct is those people who can't see that. I don't have to defend myself 68 00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:20,199 ever again, because I really never wanted to explain a joke or defend myself. 69 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:24,319 So it's nice to be kind of in a quieter place with that. 70 00:05:24,879 --> 00:05:28,680 Wow. I mean, think about it. It's like you've done so many 71 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,639 roasts and you've we were talking about it before the show, like you've paved 72 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,839 the way. Do you feel like you've paved the way for some of these 73 00:05:34,879 --> 00:05:41,120 other young women comedians, Well, I will say they say that instead of 74 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,920 me, like, for instance, Nicky Glazer all the time, I was 75 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:48,120 just gonna think. It's such a sweetheart. She remembers when she opened for 76 00:05:48,199 --> 00:05:51,720 me. She was like doing comedy like one year and she opened for me 77 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:56,759 in Kansas City because she's from Saint Louis. And I said, oh my 78 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,560 god, I'm sorry if I was a count when I met you, because 79 00:05:59,639 --> 00:06:02,360 you know, I don't know how I acted. I might have been tired. 80 00:06:02,439 --> 00:06:05,160 I usually was pretty nice everybody's like, oh, she's so nice, 81 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,800 but she goes, no, no, you were great. You'd give me 82 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:11,519 great advice. And I was like, oh good, but like girls like 83 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:15,079 that, and even Amy Schumer had said nice compliments and this one and that 84 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,199 one. And I always crack up when I see somebody's performance and I DM 85 00:06:18,319 --> 00:06:23,040 them and they go, oh my god, coming from you, that means 86 00:06:23,079 --> 00:06:26,879 a lot, and I'm like, oh cute. So I think the real 87 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:32,199 paving the way people were like the Joan Rivers is and you know, people 88 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:36,040 like that. But it was nice to be able to show I'm a badass 89 00:06:36,079 --> 00:06:40,680 and I can get away with being one of one of the guys and doing 90 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:45,160 it like a man. Absolutely. I mean, John Rivers can't pave the 91 00:06:45,199 --> 00:06:48,920 way for everybody. At some point, at some point, Alisa Lambinelli gets 92 00:06:48,959 --> 00:06:50,839 to start paving the way. You know what I mean? We can't. 93 00:06:50,879 --> 00:06:56,639 Oh yeah, like you're right there are on a highway. There's many layers 94 00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:00,480 of pavement, so I would say I'm probably layer three and then hey, 95 00:07:00,519 --> 00:07:05,040 I'm paved over. The greatest thing, though, is knowing it doesn't mean 96 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:12,160 shit, It doesn't matter like it literally our legacy, and that's the one 97 00:07:12,279 --> 00:07:15,759 thing. I mean, Hamilton I loved so much. But the thing that 98 00:07:15,839 --> 00:07:24,240 resonated me with me most about Hamilton's was when he says legacy. You cannot 99 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,319 plan your legacy. You can't plan for who lives, who dies, who 100 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:30,399 tells your story. You literally just have to do your ship and however it 101 00:07:30,439 --> 00:07:34,439 works out. If I'm remembered more for oh my god, she was nice 102 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:38,680 to me in the green room when I was starting. I fucking rather that, 103 00:07:39,399 --> 00:07:41,879 you know. And I'm not even joking, like, I've worked on 104 00:07:41,959 --> 00:07:46,040 myself so much that it doesn't matter if I'm remembered. Who cares? I 105 00:07:46,079 --> 00:07:50,680 want to get into like that, that path to working on yourself. But 106 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,800 can you just tell us how you got into stand up? I mean, 107 00:07:55,279 --> 00:08:00,439 who was your inspiration? I know you were doing journalism and you yeah, 108 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,759 and you were. I read a bunch of stuff about your start, But 109 00:08:03,879 --> 00:08:07,240 what sparked you and just trying stand up? Well, I think it always 110 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:11,759 was gnawing at me like, oh, that looks cool. But I'd never 111 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,879 watched stand up. We watched when we were kids, the Dean Martin Ross, 112 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:18,319 I think it was NBC with my parents. Never seen stand up, 113 00:08:18,639 --> 00:08:20,800 didn't know what it was like, didn't know how you went about it. 114 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:26,839 And I was working as a researcher at Rolling Stone after college and was in 115 00:08:26,879 --> 00:08:31,319 my late twenties, and I said to this guy, Steve Butterman, he 116 00:08:31,399 --> 00:08:33,639 was a researcher. I go to him. I don't know. I always 117 00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:37,399 wanted to try stand up, Like I don't know how to get started. 118 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:41,879 Goes uh, you to do that. Everybody who does it is self absorbed 119 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:48,559 and needs all the attention. I'm like, sounds perfectlogically for whatever. Being 120 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:52,799 a middle child or whatever, I had to be special and you don't realize 121 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:56,639 later that no one needs to be special. You'd just be you. But 122 00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:00,720 that's when you're sixty years old and figure it out. But I was like, 123 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,039 oh, then I'm just gonna take a little class and figure out how 124 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:07,840 to write five minutes and get on stage or whatever. So thank goodness, 125 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:11,840 I heard an ad for like some stand up class in Connecticut where I was 126 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,720 brought up, and I'm like, I'm gonna just do that class, and 127 00:09:15,759 --> 00:09:18,639 if I suck at the open mic we have to do, that's fine. 128 00:09:18,639 --> 00:09:20,919 I'll just I don't have to continue, Like why do I have to make 129 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:24,440 myself miserable? But thank god. It did go well the first time. 130 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,519 It was like one of those magical things, and it inspired you to just 131 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:33,480 keep going. So, I mean, I just loved doing it. I 132 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:37,320 loved that every time in the old days you'd had a a cassette deck in 133 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:43,399 the car and you'd listen to your sets that I always was laughing out loud 134 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:46,080 at the ad libs and the insult It was never at the bits. So 135 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,759 I noticed that and I was like, Oh, I want to talk to 136 00:09:48,799 --> 00:09:52,440 the audience more. I want to insult them because they don't seem to get 137 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,919 mad. And it helped that I was older too, I was thirty thirty 138 00:09:54,960 --> 00:10:00,960 already, so people kind of got my personality. I think, right, 139 00:10:01,279 --> 00:10:05,600 what was your first success, like stand up success? What was the first 140 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,879 show you got on or the first time that you were like, oh, 141 00:10:07,919 --> 00:10:13,000 this is really something I could do well. I was the first time on 142 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,240 stage I was like, this is it. I'm a comic, like I 143 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:22,159 literally knew. But the first outward show of oh you're gonna be okay, 144 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:28,200 or you might have a chance at making this a living. I remember I 145 00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:31,559 was talking about it last night. It was like getting the call I was 146 00:10:31,639 --> 00:10:35,080 doing stand up like seven years and I had read that, like Seinfeldt said, 147 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,200 it took seven years to write a good special or something like that, 148 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:41,120 or did you have your first success at seven year or something like that. 149 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:43,279 And I got a call because I was hanging out at the Friars Club in 150 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,919 the city a lot, and they said, Comedy Centrals doing the roast to 151 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:52,279 Chevy Chase in two weeks and we are a producer on that, and we 152 00:10:52,399 --> 00:10:56,799 told them they have to have you. And because you do insall comedy, 153 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,759 I was like, oh my god, and they go they didn't want you 154 00:11:00,039 --> 00:11:03,960 because you're they don't never heard you because I was a nobody, and they're 155 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:09,440 like, but this is your shot. And I swear to God, I'll 156 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:13,799 never forget where I was sitting. I was sitting in my apartment studio apartment 157 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:18,960 in the city at the IKEA desk, and I was like, this is 158 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:22,919 my chance. And I canceled everything I had. For two weeks, me 159 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:26,080 and this writing partner got together. We banged out all these jokes, and 160 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:31,799 as I'm leaving that little six hundred square foot apartment, I look back at 161 00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:35,480 its corny as fuck, but it's true. I was like, when I 162 00:11:35,519 --> 00:11:37,799 come back into this room, my life will have changed, either for the 163 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:43,600 worst or the better. And thank god, that night was very good and 164 00:11:43,279 --> 00:11:46,960 it was for the better. So once that happened, then Howard Stern had 165 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:52,639 me on and then it's I got a manager and then it sort of started 166 00:11:52,639 --> 00:11:56,879 snowballing from there. Wow. Wow, let's see, it was insane that 167 00:11:56,919 --> 00:12:00,879 they believed in me and we're like pushing me like that. It was sick. 168 00:12:01,519 --> 00:12:03,960 Well, you're absolutely very talented. I want to I want to talk 169 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,039 more about the Chevy Chase Ross. Let's take a quick break and we'll be 170 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:11,159 right back. And we're back. Yeah, So can you tell us more 171 00:12:11,159 --> 00:12:16,320 about the Chevy Chase Rose, because like, were you scared? I know 172 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,519 if like for myself, of course I have to interject myself in here, 173 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:24,399 but Lynne knows this about me. I get so nervous and anxious about any 174 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:28,559 kind of big breaks or or things. I talk about it for weeks. 175 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:33,360 I'm so scared because everything feels so big, Like when you have that thing 176 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,399 where you're like, this could really change my career. Did you get like, 177 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,840 oh god, what if I don't what if it doesn't go well? 178 00:12:37,919 --> 00:12:41,519 Or do you just have do you just find that confidence. Well, I'm 179 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:46,399 nuts because I think there's two types of people in the world. There's overthinkers 180 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:52,480 and I, unfortunately or fortunately aren't. I don't. I can't even imagine 181 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,360 being an overthinker. I think it probably feels like, hell, I'm an 182 00:12:54,399 --> 00:13:00,639 underthinker, which backfire's less but still does backfire, meaning you'll mary the wrong 183 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:03,840 person. You'll just go with your what you think is your gut, but 184 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:07,120 it's not really your gut. It's just have it. So with the gross 185 00:13:07,279 --> 00:13:09,679 I was, I'm all business. I'm like a guy in a way, 186 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,799 We're all fucking big. I got that call. That's why I can still 187 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:16,919 remember where I was within like a fucking hour. So my writing partner's book, 188 00:13:18,039 --> 00:13:20,440 The hair appoint was was book, The makeup point was book. The 189 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:24,919 fucking nail appointment, the fucking it was like gonna go to Bloomingdale's this day 190 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,759 because in the old days, like it was my first thing, I didn't 191 00:13:28,759 --> 00:13:33,480 have anybody given me or offering me close. So no, I'm also know 192 00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:37,519 how to set myself up. So I know already that the Friars Club really 193 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:41,559 loves me, and I'm like they're kind of darling. I know Paul Shaffer, 194 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:46,879 who's the MC loves me from the priors. So I wrote my intro 195 00:13:48,279 --> 00:13:52,120 and I knew the audience was ninety percent Friars and it's fifteen hundred people, 196 00:13:52,519 --> 00:14:01,120 so I had him say Frior, Lisa, lamp and llat and make a 197 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,279 joke. He made whatever joke he made, so if he puts the word 198 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:09,000 Friar first, you'll watch the tape. Now they applaud at my name already, 199 00:14:09,159 --> 00:14:13,559 so I already have them. I'm on their side there on my side 200 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:18,679 because I'm one of them. Okay. So then also there had been nine 201 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:24,320 guys before me that either did very mediocre or bad and I'm a fucking we 202 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,960 know, I don't have much going for me, but I am a killer 203 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,519 when I wanted to me, so I was like, oh, it's on. 204 00:14:30,799 --> 00:14:35,519 And I also grow very sharp stuff. I also had a lot of 205 00:14:35,519 --> 00:14:41,159 bomb lines just in case, like to make fun of other guys if oh 206 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:45,559 you know, oh go ahead, moan, I'll bring so and so back 207 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:50,120 again and name like someone who bombed or whatever. So I know I'm loaded 208 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,559 for bear. And then I was like, what's up to the universe now? 209 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:58,240 Yea, And Chevy has said it was the absolute worst night of his 210 00:14:58,279 --> 00:15:01,000 life. He realized that he didn't have any friends because no one showed up 211 00:15:01,039 --> 00:15:07,200 for him, and he misbehaved horribly at the Rows. But he did say 212 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,879 Paul Shaffer told me later goes Chevy said, You're the only one he liked 213 00:15:09,919 --> 00:15:16,159 because you didn't mention his drug addiction or whatever, because I just didn't find 214 00:15:16,159 --> 00:15:22,200 it that funny. And Chevy has since apologized for his shitty behavior. He 215 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,960 basically wore sunglasses the whole time, and I was like, I'm not even 216 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,759 looking at him. I'm not engaging this fuck because this is about me. 217 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:35,080 I made that whole night about me, and then I never really got nervous 218 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,759 for them because I'm like, I'm I'm nervous for other things, like if 219 00:15:37,799 --> 00:15:39,919 you put me on a movie set, I want to shoot myself in the 220 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:43,039 fucking head. I stink. I can't memorize. I always think I sucked, 221 00:15:43,559 --> 00:15:46,639 But I had one gift. I have two gifts. Actually one is 222 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:52,039 comedy. One is driving. I'm the best driver in the world, so 223 00:15:52,799 --> 00:15:54,679 oh, the best and the best parker in the world. Like people die 224 00:15:54,759 --> 00:15:58,320 when they see me parallel park, right. I don't do that anymore. 225 00:16:00,039 --> 00:16:04,639 And I think I just knew I had it, and then other things have 226 00:16:04,759 --> 00:16:08,279 gone badly, but those roasts, Thank god, I kind of knew what 227 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:15,519 I was doing right, Well, what's that? What went badly? Well? 228 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,879 Like things like I literally did a movie once. David Chase, the 229 00:16:18,879 --> 00:16:22,240 creator of Sopranos, was making a movie about his life when he was a 230 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:27,320 teenager, and it didn't come off badly. In the movie, he cast 231 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:32,039 me as his aunt growing up. If you watch the movie, it's not 232 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,600 bad or my scenes aren't bad. I don't suck. What's the name of 233 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:40,120 the movie, h not fade away? Oh yeah, it's really really good. 234 00:16:40,679 --> 00:16:44,600 And I just felt like garbage because I'm like, I'm not a trained 235 00:16:44,639 --> 00:16:49,360 actor. I don't know how to fucking memorize. I felt insecure. I 236 00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:52,360 would cry every time I did an acting job. I'd like, sob all 237 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:56,039 the way home and cry and go I'm never acting again. Why do they 238 00:16:56,039 --> 00:16:57,679 make me do this? Like what? Am I an idiot? And like 239 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,080 so I just those kind of things, I'm like, oh, well, 240 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,119 that wasn't my path. I wasn't supposed to be doing that. If I 241 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:07,920 wanted to be an actor, I would have been an acting class. You 242 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,720 know, what's about the whole thing. I'm an acting class now for fun, 243 00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:17,160 with no goal of ever acting in anything. You know. It's so 244 00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:21,039 interesting because I was like, I need a hobby because when you were tired, 245 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:26,599 you need some accountability and showing up to certain places or whatever. So 246 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:32,960 I cobbled together this little string of activity every week. And I was watching 247 00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:37,279 Barry you know that show, and I was so jealous of the character because 248 00:17:37,279 --> 00:17:41,079 he was in an acting class as a beginner. So I took beginner acting 249 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:45,119 and like, I'm just learning how to act, but I have no intention 250 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:49,279 of ever doing it again. Wow, that's funny. I took improv classes. 251 00:17:49,799 --> 00:17:55,960 No, you know, I wasn't going to be a comte comedy or 252 00:17:56,519 --> 00:17:59,799 you know, I just I wasn't going to take going on auditions or it. 253 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:03,240 Just doing it just to do it. It's fun. It's fun to 254 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:06,839 challenge yourself. I think, I don't even think it's the challenge for me. 255 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:12,400 It's the what can I do as a hobby that just makes me happy. 256 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:17,039 So and every time I'm driving into the city from Conneticut, I'm like, 257 00:18:17,079 --> 00:18:18,599 oh, man, why am I in this such a good mood? 258 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:23,960 Oh? Because I'm with this community of people I'm if I'm bad, who 259 00:18:25,039 --> 00:18:27,880 gives you shit? So I think it has to be with me. No 260 00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:33,880 big goals anymore, No, maybe not even any small goals other than to 261 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:37,000 live day to day and have a good time and just be present, which 262 00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:41,359 is hard. It's hard. So with like with the acting, do you 263 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:47,079 feel like taking the class take some of the sting out of that feeling. 264 00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:49,480 I mean, I know the feeling too of I'm a terrible actor. And 265 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:56,039 I got a show. I was hosting a little talk show for moms a 266 00:18:56,079 --> 00:18:59,640 while back, and we had to do these little acting things in it, 267 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,400 and I the same as you, I was like you, guys, I 268 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,400 don't, I'm not, I can't act. I don't. You can't expect 269 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:08,079 this of me that I can host and I can. I can do the 270 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,920 monologue. I know how to do that. I've been doing it for years. 271 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,799 But when you ask me to I sound. And one of the girls, 272 00:19:15,799 --> 00:19:18,079 who was the head writer on the show and one of the producers, 273 00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:21,200 told me I had to do a scene where I was sitting up from I 274 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,599 was getting my like nails done and I had to sit up really suddenly, 275 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:27,160 and she told me that I seemed like I was rising out of a coffin 276 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,519 and I was like, I can't. I think, yeah, it's like, 277 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:37,759 that's not bad, you know, And I think, no, it 278 00:19:37,839 --> 00:19:41,319 doesn't take the sting out of past failures because the only thing that does that 279 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:45,839 is trauma therapy. I really believe that adding a goal on top of something 280 00:19:47,039 --> 00:19:51,000 does nothing. It just buries it deeper. So you know, if I 281 00:19:51,079 --> 00:19:53,200 was, I mean, obviously I'm not ashamed of that performance, and I'm 282 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:56,839 not sitting here going, oh my god, David Chase was hate me. 283 00:19:56,279 --> 00:20:00,839 David Chase, and it's been said by who work with him, and it's 284 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:04,480 not an insult. He has resting bitch face. He will never indicate you're 285 00:20:04,519 --> 00:20:08,680 good or you're bad. He just and that sucks for someone who at the 286 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,599 time was so fucking insecure, because I was like, he just hates me. 287 00:20:12,039 --> 00:20:15,519 It turns out he didn't hate me. He just doesn't emote. So 288 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:19,319 I think the only thing really that helps to when I look back on things 289 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:26,400 I'm ashamed of, whether it's snapping on an audience member, whether it's I 290 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:30,079 don't know, getting in a fight with a friend, you know, telling 291 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,279 someone this or that that I shouldn't have said. I think it's just all 292 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,880 therapy. It's not. I don't think adding shit on top of shit is 293 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:41,400 a good idea. Right well, I'm going to ask you about your transformation 294 00:20:41,559 --> 00:20:45,240 that you went through, like, you know, quite lovely and beautiful. 295 00:20:45,319 --> 00:20:49,559 God damn it you are. And I'm trying. I'm always looking for people 296 00:20:49,599 --> 00:20:55,759 to inspire me to get out of my rut because I'm you know, I'm 297 00:20:55,759 --> 00:21:00,000 still going through a divorce and I have this routine where I'm with the kids 298 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,559 a few days a week and then I'm not with the kids. When I'm 299 00:21:02,559 --> 00:21:06,960 not with the kids, I just like I tend to shut down and not 300 00:21:07,079 --> 00:21:11,799 want to. I don't have any motivation to do much, you know, 301 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:15,559 as far as like exercise, take care of myself. It's like, you 302 00:21:15,599 --> 00:21:18,480 know, I just want to like order fast food and watch you know, 303 00:21:18,599 --> 00:21:23,440 bad TV. But like so, I'm always looking for people to inspire me, 304 00:21:23,599 --> 00:21:29,039 Like how do they how do you pull yourself out? The only thing 305 00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:32,880 I'm going to inspire you to do is stopping so hard on yourself. I 306 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:38,680 would argue you are at capacity right now emotionally. I've been through divorces that 307 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:44,079 were actually really easy because it just wasn't meant to be. Me and Jimmy 308 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,640 when I got married in twenty ten, after like a year and a half, 309 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,720 we're like, well we're not happy, so let's just fucking wrap this 310 00:21:48,759 --> 00:21:53,079 thing up, right. So your problem is I love saying that to people. 311 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:59,799 That's really inspiring, But you don't think you're going through trauma, and 312 00:21:59,839 --> 00:22:03,839 you are. You're going through probably something between a SMALLT and a capital T. 313 00:22:04,039 --> 00:22:10,079 Trauma. Capitalty, they usually say, is like assault or rape or 314 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:17,759 whatever. Death. You're probably somewhere in between. Let yourself fucking rest. 315 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:23,720 God damn it. You're doing everything you can. You're doing the best you 316 00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:29,680 can the way we and not just women, but a lot of times women 317 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,880 and sometimes men. I know a lot of straight guys who are very sensitive 318 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:40,319 and came into we think we have to do it all. There is no 319 00:22:40,839 --> 00:22:45,960 triumph in being skinny. There's no triumph in being healthy, there's no triumph 320 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:49,200 in being fit. Who gives a fuck. You get your blood work every 321 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:53,039 six months, make sure you're not dying. You're fine. If I had 322 00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:57,440 the trauma of only seeing my kids part time, going through a divorce, 323 00:22:57,799 --> 00:23:03,640 trying to start up a career, whatever it is, moving if if if 324 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:07,240 you said. If I said to you all in it, I'm so bad 325 00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:11,200 because I just moved into a new house and it's not set up and I've 326 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:12,599 been here a week, you'd be like, are you fucking kidding me? 327 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:18,880 Calm down, Like you're going through a big change. I want you to 328 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:22,960 get off this thing today and go. I don't have to add one more 329 00:23:23,079 --> 00:23:30,000 thing, I would argue. Subtracts things. Okay. The pressure to be 330 00:23:30,279 --> 00:23:34,119 anything other than where you are right now, well, okay, it's hard. 331 00:23:34,599 --> 00:23:40,559 It is hard, well, very tough on yourself. Yeah, I 332 00:23:40,599 --> 00:23:45,200 mean it's good to hear you know. I just it's you know, it's 333 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,400 you're you do. When you're alone. A lot too, you start to 334 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,559 think like, oh, you know, I should be exercising, I should 335 00:23:51,599 --> 00:23:56,839 be doing should I should should goofy expression, stop shooting all over yourself. 336 00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:03,160 I do only what I want to do. I was seeing an intuitive movement 337 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:07,160 coach for a minute, because I hate movement, I hate exercise. I 338 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:11,680 won't I won't do anything I dislike she said to me, You're never gonna 339 00:24:11,759 --> 00:24:18,559 die from not moving like you literally are fine. Like my mother lived till 340 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:22,119 ninety one, never walked a fucking mile in her life. She didn't walk 341 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:26,359 a foot, she didn't give a shit. And the thing is, nobody's 342 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:32,359 dying, right. I just think it's all so overblown and there's so much 343 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:38,160 pressure to be a certain way. It doesn't matter. It's like, and 344 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,359 that's why I say, you know, just get blood work if you want. 345 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,079 That's what I do. I don't move. I don't give a shit. 346 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,480 I fucking go all right, My iron's good. My this is good. 347 00:24:47,519 --> 00:24:52,119 My that's good. Right? Cool? Now has you has your attitude 348 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,799 changed since? Because you did? You did lose like a hundred pounds, 349 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,200 right, you had the yeah, and it was probably and I've never said 350 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:04,000 this publicly, but I will that surgery might be the worst decision I ever 351 00:25:04,039 --> 00:25:10,559 made. Really literally, I've learned so much. I'm one of the lucky 352 00:25:10,599 --> 00:25:15,000 ones who kept some weight off. Most people gain it back. I have 353 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:21,759 had since two other operations to fix shit that happened because of it. I'm 354 00:25:21,799 --> 00:25:25,519 not angry anymore about it. Because I made I was beating myself up. 355 00:25:25,559 --> 00:25:30,079 I was like, this was mutilation and it should honestly not exist. So 356 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:33,079 I'm very anti the surgery. If anyone asked my advice, I say, 357 00:25:33,079 --> 00:25:37,039 you have to make your decision. But here's my experience. It leads to 358 00:25:37,079 --> 00:25:41,680 weight gain and further operations. I mean, I just had an operation a 359 00:25:41,799 --> 00:25:48,799 month ago today who called the hiatal hernia where your stomach makes its way into 360 00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:52,000 your chest. And I couldn't eat for two years, so I want to 361 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,039 know the great irony of it all. Couldn't eat for two years, but 362 00:25:56,160 --> 00:26:00,240 ironically the body thinks you're starving. So I put on twenty fucking pounds. 363 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:06,920 Oh my god. But instead of beating myself up for having initial surgery, 364 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:11,200 I said, I'm getting this thing fixed. And of course the twenty dropped 365 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:15,200 in a month because it was all water. I was literally very sick. 366 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:19,160 I didn't know I was holding on to everything I drank. I mean it 367 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,240 was my body was swollen. So I don't have a shame about it, 368 00:26:22,279 --> 00:26:26,839 thinking, oh my god, here I am this person who is known for 369 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,200 this and they gained twenty. So I just admitted it in public and he 370 00:26:30,279 --> 00:26:37,079 was like, fuck it. So my attitude changed a lot. I'm very 371 00:26:37,279 --> 00:26:45,400 into working on anti fatness, really into working on fatphobia, internalized self hate. 372 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:51,759 I think all bodies are good, all food is good. I don't 373 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,880 use the word junk food, bad food, good food. So it's been 374 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:59,000 a huge, great shift, but boy it came at a big price. 375 00:26:59,039 --> 00:27:02,279 Man. For two years, I mean it was my friends were like, 376 00:27:02,799 --> 00:27:07,359 what's happening to you? You are just you can't get food down? Was 377 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,880 this was this well after the original surgery? Yeah? Yeah, so you 378 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:17,000 had like a complication like way afterward. Yeah, well what happened a very 379 00:27:17,079 --> 00:27:22,039 common thing that happens to people who have weight loss surgery. But I'm not 380 00:27:22,079 --> 00:27:26,079 going to say I wasn't warned about it. I don't remember being warned about 381 00:27:26,079 --> 00:27:30,039 it, and probably because I was on autopilot to get out of a fat 382 00:27:30,079 --> 00:27:34,960 body because you are so ashamed and put down constantly that I would have done 383 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:40,519 any That's why people are on diet will do anything to escape from being made 384 00:27:40,599 --> 00:27:42,640 fun of. And I was made fun of so publicly, and yeah, 385 00:27:42,799 --> 00:27:48,079 ROSSI give it back and everything, but you feel like a failure. So 386 00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:49,440 it hurts so much that I was like, how do I get out of 387 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:53,480 this? Because diets don't work because for every diet, there for every restriction, 388 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,640 there's a binge. That's why no one keeps weight off after weight watchers, 389 00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:00,640 and that's why it's a business and they have recurring customers. I've been 390 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:07,039 there five times, so kept the weight off for ten years, but still 391 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:11,960 with some trouble, like it was hard to keep off. The initial thing 392 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:17,960 was a gallbladder surgery two years after and that sucked. And then this surgery 393 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,880 and I'm like, okay, I gotta just work on anti fat bias. 394 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:25,440 This is bullshit. So and again, thank god I'm healthy no matter what 395 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:30,519 weight I am. So I feel like it was a good psychological turning point 396 00:28:30,559 --> 00:28:34,519 for me, and it opened me up to this world of like everybody's fine 397 00:28:34,559 --> 00:28:38,160 and whatever body they're in, let's stop this ship. You look, I 398 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,960 mean you have to. I have to say, you'd really look radiant, 399 00:28:42,519 --> 00:28:47,000 and I guarantee you I'll tell you why because of that fucking hernie and getting 400 00:28:47,039 --> 00:28:51,559 out of me because it was a size of an orange. He told me 401 00:28:51,599 --> 00:28:53,119 this weeks later, the surgeon because he didn't want me to panic in the 402 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:59,319 hospital and it collapsed one of my lungs. So I'm so fucking happy right 403 00:28:59,359 --> 00:29:03,160 now because I who goes down easy. I mean, it's like a gift, 404 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,240 like it literally used to get stuck in the middle of my throat for 405 00:29:06,319 --> 00:29:10,880 ten minutes, Like it was hard. So thank god I got it done 406 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:12,720 fixed. As he told me about it, we scheduled it the next day. 407 00:29:12,759 --> 00:29:17,960 Like I'm not protective. I'm an underthinker. I look around, so 408 00:29:18,359 --> 00:29:21,920 I was, I have the best recovery ever. I think it's my skins 409 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:26,880 better. I just skilled energy. Yeah. I just would say it's everybody's 410 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:33,720 journey what they decide to do. But boy, my experience is that it's 411 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:37,519 it should go the way of the lebotomy eventually, because it's literally cutting out 412 00:29:37,519 --> 00:29:41,359 a part of yourself that you need. I think they're still doing it, 413 00:29:42,039 --> 00:29:45,920 and it's again, it's totally common practice. That's fine. I don't and 414 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:52,319 that's why it's interesting because I respect to anybody who does that. If that's 415 00:29:52,359 --> 00:29:56,480 what you need to get out of being in an airplane and have people making 416 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:57,680 fun of you because you can't fit in the seat, you know what I 417 00:29:57,759 --> 00:30:03,000 mean, Like, do anything to escape the world of hate that comes at 418 00:30:03,039 --> 00:30:07,279 fat people, black people, gay people. I had a friend who was 419 00:30:07,359 --> 00:30:11,359 fat. I have a good friend who was fat, black and gay, 420 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:14,119 and he's like, at least I can fucking take care of the fat part. 421 00:30:14,559 --> 00:30:15,880 And he got the surgery and I said, you know what, God 422 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:21,759 bless you. You know, just just be careful, right right? Have 423 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:27,359 you had issues with food since you were a kid eating? I was eighteen. 424 00:30:27,799 --> 00:30:30,839 It was really funny because I wrote a whole show called Stuffed, and 425 00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:36,119 it was off Broadway for two runs, and it was about me and four 426 00:30:36,119 --> 00:30:38,319 other women, three other women, and are like body and food image, 427 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:45,079 excusing body image and food journeys and so the only I remember starting to use 428 00:30:45,119 --> 00:30:48,720 food emotionally, which is not a bad thing anyway, but I started to 429 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,920 use food for something other than hunger when I went away to college and was 430 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:59,279 miserable, and that's when it be up and down started and everything. So, 431 00:30:59,359 --> 00:31:03,000 yeah, it's been. It was eighteen to fifty two. Than the 432 00:31:03,119 --> 00:31:08,720 surgery, and then the issues don't go away. You still hate yourself and 433 00:31:08,799 --> 00:31:12,519 how you look and all that stuff. The only reason I joke around and 434 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,720 when you say you look good and I'm like, I'm nailing it, it's 435 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,039 because like I'm fine, Like I'm never going to put in a beauty contest. 436 00:31:18,279 --> 00:31:22,440 I'm fucking never going to get a botox or a facial thing. I 437 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:25,920 don't give a fuck more. There are looks, you know, but yeah, 438 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:29,440 I had food and body and stuff from probably eighteen on. I know, 439 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,880 I know I'm focusing on the wrong thing, but what can you tell 440 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:36,599 me more and more about? So you went to college and you didn't like 441 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:41,799 it. We have I have a college age kid right now who didn't get 442 00:31:41,839 --> 00:31:45,319 in to college, and I literally was kind of trying to make her feel 443 00:31:45,319 --> 00:31:48,160 better by saying, you know what, not all of your friends that are 444 00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:52,359 going to college are going to freaking love it. Like there are many people 445 00:31:52,519 --> 00:31:56,079 who have never been away from home are going to go to college and be 446 00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:57,799 like, what the fuck did I get myself into? And maybe quit? 447 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,480 So I'd love to hear about your experience. Well, first of all, 448 00:32:02,519 --> 00:32:07,839 just in general, college is a scam. We all don't well it is, 449 00:32:08,079 --> 00:32:13,359 we don't meet Bill Maher said it really well, not everyone needs to 450 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:17,240 go to college. It's like we don't have enough plumbers and enough people doing 451 00:32:17,319 --> 00:32:21,680 trades, and we don't we don't have enough. Not everyone's journey. You 452 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,000 could be a musician, you could be a comic, you could be an 453 00:32:23,039 --> 00:32:28,559 actor. Like it's this weird default everyone gets into. Exact I didn't go 454 00:32:28,599 --> 00:32:32,559 to college, by the way, so I'm there. I'm so fucking proud 455 00:32:32,599 --> 00:32:37,279 of you that you did not waste for college. College, no college, 456 00:32:37,839 --> 00:32:42,759 God bless you smart at your time. Oh, it's miserable. And I 457 00:32:43,519 --> 00:32:45,799 wasn't miserable because I went to a bad college or I was not smart. 458 00:32:46,119 --> 00:32:51,920 You srac right. I went first to Boston College. The first year was 459 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,880 so miserable. I transferred to Syracuse because my boyfriend at the time was going 460 00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:58,039 to Cornell. It was an hour away. I was like, well, 461 00:32:58,039 --> 00:33:00,119 at least I won't be as lonely. But it was just a whole series 462 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:06,440 of awful events and nothing traumatic as far as a capital T trauma, but 463 00:33:06,839 --> 00:33:13,519 help some date rate b possibility moments. There was a you know, housing, 464 00:33:13,759 --> 00:33:17,519 real housing problem. There was money problems because I spent all my money 465 00:33:17,559 --> 00:33:22,000 because I had no freedom as a teenager at home because we're like kind of 466 00:33:22,039 --> 00:33:25,720 just my mother's Italian and you're home by eleven kind of think when you have 467 00:33:25,759 --> 00:33:30,640 no buddy, the answer two you go insane. I did. So. 468 00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:34,039 I was miserable for college. I don't know how I even got through it 469 00:33:34,079 --> 00:33:37,160 and graduated, but I somehow did. And I was like, Wow, 470 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:43,400 it's not for everybody, you know, and I just don't anyone to me. 471 00:33:44,039 --> 00:33:46,359 The fact that she didn't get into college. I am viewing that as 472 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:52,200 the best win of all time because it sounds fokey, but rejection is God's 473 00:33:52,240 --> 00:34:00,160 protection. There's something she's meant to do that's different than that than any thing 474 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:05,440 I didn't get, like meaning a party auditioned for or a comedy experience or 475 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,239 whatever, anything that didn't work out. Thank god, it didn't, Like 476 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:14,000 they're right, wasn't for me. It's hard though, too. I agree 477 00:34:14,039 --> 00:34:17,000 with you, and I'm scrappy. I think we're there's three of us scrappy 478 00:34:17,039 --> 00:34:22,199 women and yeah, but uh, and I just moved to LA at eighteen 479 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:25,480 and then started I took improv and then I tried stand up at like twenty 480 00:34:25,519 --> 00:34:30,440 two or twenty three. So I'm in the position of telling my daughter, 481 00:34:30,599 --> 00:34:34,800 like it's fun, like something else is going to work out. I mean, 482 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,440 she's in she's going to community right now, and she was going to 483 00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:43,719 transfer next year, but she just went through a breakup and all her friends 484 00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,519 are leaving her for college. So she's in a in a place right now, 485 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:51,440 young and going through a lot of disappointment. And when they are it's 486 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:54,000 just so hard to tell them like, you're gonna look back on this and 487 00:34:54,039 --> 00:34:59,159 be like, I'm glad that happened. Yeah, but I would argue you're 488 00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:02,760 wrong because you just need to let her feel it, like the whole thing 489 00:35:04,039 --> 00:35:07,280 moms. Thank god I wasn't a mom, because I would have been a 490 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:14,039 total fucking helicopter. I might have a great niece who was born two years 491 00:35:14,079 --> 00:35:17,679 ago. She's about to turn two. I worry about her as much as 492 00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:21,440 I would probably were about kids. So I would have been the worst mother. 493 00:35:22,519 --> 00:35:28,800 But the problem. Listen to the Renee Brown chapter on disappointment. You've 494 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:34,679 got to let people feel disappointment because then they learn to handle it. So 495 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:39,199 you saying all those platitudes to your daughter are well intentioned, and I've done 496 00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:42,599 it. I do it to friends because I have a lot of younger friends. 497 00:35:43,519 --> 00:35:47,760 That's for after they feel it was disappoint Brine Brown talks about sitting. 498 00:35:49,119 --> 00:35:52,559 I love this phrase because it's so fucking transformative, sitting in the dark with 499 00:35:52,679 --> 00:35:59,360 them. She's in the dark right now. You just have to sit there 500 00:35:59,679 --> 00:36:04,639 and the most fucking uncomfortable thing because we want to fix Yeah. I literally 501 00:36:04,639 --> 00:36:07,199 have an necklace on that I will hopefully hand off to somebody someday. That's 502 00:36:07,199 --> 00:36:10,960 because I won't need it anymore. It says, no fix or uppers because 503 00:36:12,119 --> 00:36:15,480 all I fucking attract is people who need fixing, and it fox me in 504 00:36:15,519 --> 00:36:20,760 the ass every time because they don't want to be fixed. So you're I 505 00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:23,480 would argue, if she's normal, which she sounds it, he's feeling all 506 00:36:23,519 --> 00:36:28,920 the right feelings, doesn't want you to fix or it. Just gotta let 507 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:30,920 her be sad. And that's to me, that's got to be the hardest 508 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:34,960 thing in the world. It's really hard. It's what we're talking about, 509 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,599 because I do I do do that. I am letting her and I'm telling 510 00:36:37,639 --> 00:36:40,960 her that, like, Okay, you're going to feel sad for a while. 511 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:45,119 It's normal to feel sad. You got really disappointed. But then I 512 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:50,599 have to do that to myself because then I walk away from that and want 513 00:36:50,599 --> 00:36:52,599 to fix it and want to like have a snack and want to like, 514 00:36:52,760 --> 00:37:00,440 I'm like, how do I deal with feeling? Well, what's greatest? 515 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:06,159 You're disappointed for her? Yeah, super sad for you, because what about 516 00:37:06,199 --> 00:37:08,960 me? Well, no, I agree too, because death of a dream 517 00:37:09,039 --> 00:37:12,880 is a thing, like you had this dream for your kid that everything would 518 00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:16,679 work out. It's like when I was thinking about being a coach and I 519 00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:21,320 was doing some practice clients, I end up disliking it because I wanted people 520 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,920 to change too fast and it was on my agenda. It was crazy. 521 00:37:24,119 --> 00:37:29,840 But I had this guy who led an autistic kid and he was so angry 522 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,280 at everything in life, and I was like, what do you think it 523 00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:37,360 really is? And we figured it out that he was just sad because he 524 00:37:37,039 --> 00:37:40,760 had dreamt that him and his kid would have, you know, different relationship 525 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:46,280 that's some non neuro a, non neurodivergent kid and him would have and he 526 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:51,000 had to be sad and disappointed, and now they have the best fucking relationship. 527 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:54,199 So it's just us going super fucking sad. I mean, my kid 528 00:37:54,199 --> 00:38:00,519 aren't shopping for school stuff right now. So then that's you to process with 529 00:38:00,599 --> 00:38:06,679 your significant other or your therapist or whatever. It's just fucking sucks all around 530 00:38:06,679 --> 00:38:08,800 to be a mom. Yes, I went out. I'll tell you a 531 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:14,480 story. Let's take a quick break, we'll be right back. So last 532 00:38:14,559 --> 00:38:17,039 night I went to dinner with my best friend and her daughter is the same 533 00:38:17,039 --> 00:38:21,719 age as Stephanie's daughter, and she just went through this break her boyfriend broke 534 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:27,400 up, very similar story to your daughters. And my best friend Suzanne, 535 00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:32,159 she's she's a helicopter mom. She wants to fix everything. She actually googled 536 00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:37,800 what do you do when your daughter's teenage daughter gets her heart broken? And 537 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,199 the first day, everything that came up was don't try and fix it, 538 00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:45,719 just sympathize, be there for them. Sounds hard, I understand. I 539 00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:50,000 could, you know, tell, maybe relate, like the same thing happened 540 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,199 to me kind of thing, but don't try. And she was just going 541 00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:54,960 like coming out of her skin, like, but I want to fix it, 542 00:38:55,519 --> 00:38:59,679 and she had there's like a learning experience for her. Yeah, what's 543 00:39:00,199 --> 00:39:04,760 uncomfortable thing in the world to realize we can't help, right, Like, 544 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,280 we don't know shit, we can't help. The only thing we know is 545 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:12,239 that it didn't help us. When people said there's other fish in the scene, 546 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,599 you'll meet someone else, it's the worst fucking advice in the world because 547 00:39:15,639 --> 00:39:19,800 guess what, we know it, but yet aren't we allowed to feel sad 548 00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:22,679 that this one got away? So I think the whole thing is great. 549 00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:30,519 That discomfort sucks, But I've had the most unfince retirement. The first five 550 00:39:30,599 --> 00:39:34,320 years were the most fucking uncomfortable things, and I just had to sit in 551 00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,599 it because I didn't want to do comedy anymore. Did I want to do 552 00:39:37,639 --> 00:39:40,920 this thing? Did I want to do that thing? And then that discomfort 553 00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:47,119 of doing nothing career wise and going well, who am I? And then 554 00:39:47,199 --> 00:39:52,719 realizing oh, I don't need an identity other than just me? And that's 555 00:39:53,159 --> 00:39:57,880 that took five fucking years. That's okay, just to be who I am 556 00:39:59,079 --> 00:40:01,639 as a person and not as an entity. And yeah, I still love 557 00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,679 it. Get a kick out of when somebody says you want to come on 558 00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,199 the podcast or one of the little a Broadway show and they're like, come 559 00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:09,480 backstage. The guys want to meet you because every gay loves me. So 560 00:40:09,559 --> 00:40:14,880 I'm you know, that's still a little cute, little ego boost, but 561 00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:19,400 it doesn't drive my life with the discomfort sucked. Man. Yeah, I'm 562 00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:22,039 just looking at my backyard. I'm like five years of going like looking out 563 00:40:22,039 --> 00:40:24,639 that window, going what the who the fuck am I? And then gone 564 00:40:25,159 --> 00:40:30,320 on, doesn't it doesn't matter? Wow. I want to understand though, 565 00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:34,320 because when you quit doing stand up, I mean you retired. You made 566 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:37,400 like I'm not gonna do it anymore. So, going back to what you 567 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,400 were saying early in the show, you said you started to feel like I 568 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:43,480 don't feel that same spark. I don't. I don't look forward to going 569 00:40:43,519 --> 00:40:46,360 on the road. But couldn't you just cut back to doing a few shows 570 00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,559 here and there? Or were you like, no, I have to just 571 00:40:49,639 --> 00:40:52,519 remove it from my life entirely. Yeah, well I wasn't happy doing it 572 00:40:52,559 --> 00:40:58,599 too, So why do something I'm when I'm I'm good at And again the 573 00:40:58,679 --> 00:41:02,920 underthinking comes in great for this, well I'm done, I'm done, so 574 00:41:04,519 --> 00:41:07,159 basically okay, So I sold. For just an example, I had a 575 00:41:07,159 --> 00:41:12,039 beautiful house on the water in Connecticut, and one day I was like, 576 00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:15,079 oh, you know this was cute. When the kids, my niece and 577 00:41:15,119 --> 00:41:19,360 nephews were little, they come sleep over. No one needs a huge house 578 00:41:19,519 --> 00:41:24,280 for one woman and fifteen pounds of dog. That's like, it's just why. 579 00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:30,079 So I'm like sold it. And my sister goes to me all the 580 00:41:30,079 --> 00:41:31,039 time, she goes, oh my god, do you ever drive past that 581 00:41:31,079 --> 00:41:34,480 house? That was such a great house? Why would I drive past it? 582 00:41:34,559 --> 00:41:37,199 Like it's not mine? I don't care, so I know when it's 583 00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:40,800 over. So with Jimmy and me. With divorce, we was just like, 584 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:45,079 yeah, it's fucking over, like so I don't go back and forth 585 00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:47,840 with things. So with standup was the same. It was like, oh, 586 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:52,360 I don't enjoy this anymore, okay, And there's no emotion involved, 587 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:54,920 there's no torture. If there's a pro and con list, it's always a 588 00:41:54,960 --> 00:42:00,400 con because you know in your gut it's a pro. You know what I'm 589 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:04,039 saying. Yeah, I quit doing stand up too, and a lot of 590 00:42:04,079 --> 00:42:07,360 my friends I was, you know, way more famous than you, So 591 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,480 it was different. Now I'm just kidding. I was not. I'm just 592 00:42:09,559 --> 00:42:13,960 joking. I was not. Ever. I never really made it as a 593 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,719 stand up It led to a lot of other things. But my point is 594 00:42:16,119 --> 00:42:21,719 I never loved the performing because I am an overthinker and I would get so 595 00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,760 nervous every time. And at some point I was like a lot of my 596 00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:28,280 friends would be like, you can't be such a perfectionist about it. It 597 00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,239 doesn't matter, don't don't worry about bombing. And I did stand up for 598 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:36,880 over twenty years, and I was like, never one single time did I 599 00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,199 look forward to my set or go, this is gonna be fun. I 600 00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:43,360 hated it every time, and you know what, at a certain point, 601 00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,280 I was like, why am I doing this to myself? I don't have 602 00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:49,960 to I was. I got a job as a writer. I was writing 603 00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:52,840 on like some TV shows, and I loved that so much more. I 604 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:57,719 loved writing and letting somebody else do the joke. And I went, that's 605 00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:00,559 what's so much more fulfilling to me. Why am I torturing myself? And 606 00:43:00,599 --> 00:43:02,840 I made the decision. I'm like, I'm never going to do it again, 607 00:43:04,079 --> 00:43:06,079 and I don't care how many times my friends were like, but do 608 00:43:06,159 --> 00:43:07,760 you want to do this one show? I was like, no, I 609 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,599 don't have to do I'm done. And I felt really good about it. 610 00:43:09,639 --> 00:43:14,559 But I thought for you, since you were saying that you actually love doing 611 00:43:14,639 --> 00:43:17,519 stand up and you felt comfortable and you were super successful, I was like, 612 00:43:17,599 --> 00:43:21,519 that's so interesting that you also were like, no, I don't like 613 00:43:21,559 --> 00:43:25,039 it. Well, well, so it's like it's not that I didn't like 614 00:43:25,159 --> 00:43:29,119 it, it's like it doesn't light me up anymore. There's a difference, 615 00:43:29,199 --> 00:43:32,760 Like I like cooking, but it doesn't light me up, So if I 616 00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:38,119 quit tomorrow, it doesn't matter. So you can like something, but to 617 00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:42,480 do stand up on the scale that I was doing. You gotta fucking love 618 00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:45,800 it because you got to bring it with that audience. Money, you can't 619 00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:52,000 be that person. So I think it's just like a wise choice to get 620 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,239 out when you want to get out. What light you up? Now? 621 00:43:58,199 --> 00:44:01,760 Honestly, that weird enough? Just driving? I love fucking driving. I'm 622 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:06,559 honestly, I can't ride out it enough. I always thought if I got 623 00:44:06,599 --> 00:44:09,400 made off and my guy stole all my money by business manager, I'd be 624 00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,760 a driver. I'd be the best. People would be like, oh my 625 00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:16,400 god, she best driver or five stars. I just I get it. 626 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:22,199 I like it. I love listening to the right podcast. I love god. 627 00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:28,239 I love being a hot tub at midnight. I know it sounds super 628 00:44:28,519 --> 00:44:32,199 pokey, but it's very peaceful to me, especially in the winter, to 629 00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:37,239 just be like I mean. I bought my parents' house where I grew up 630 00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:40,920 in. I asked my mom because they had built the house before she passed 631 00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:44,719 away, like a couple of years before. She wasn't even sick or anything. 632 00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:46,320 Because I wouldn't make you happy if one of us bought the house, 633 00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:50,800 just oh my god, I'd love that. So I bought the house I 634 00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:54,559 grew up in. That lights me up. I'm so basic. I literally 635 00:44:54,639 --> 00:45:01,760 decorate for every fucking season so nicely. I'm that lights me on. I 636 00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:07,159 fucking love it's so like. I literally don't have a time of year in 637 00:45:07,199 --> 00:45:12,679 my house that there's not special stuff up. I create these things. I 638 00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:15,719 love going to dinner now that I can meet, it feels really great. 639 00:45:16,519 --> 00:45:22,079 I love sitting outside with the dogs for only ten minutes because I can't they're 640 00:45:22,079 --> 00:45:29,119 fucking annoying. Just going theater shows. Oh my god, I left my 641 00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:34,320 ass off. I screamed the whole time. I love hanging out with nieces 642 00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:39,079 and nephews, my great niece, a little angel. I've almost also picked 643 00:45:39,159 --> 00:45:43,760 up the ball for things when my mother couldn't do anymore. Like, I 644 00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:47,079 love sending everyone in the family's Father's Day cards and Mother's Day cards, and 645 00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:51,760 hosting game Oh my, got fucking game nights at least once a week. 646 00:45:52,639 --> 00:45:58,519 I'm so such a fan of game nights, and I love hosting. Yeah, 647 00:45:58,559 --> 00:46:00,639 I'm not a good book, but I'm a great host making everybody feel 648 00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:05,880 comfortable. I could see you're Italian, right, You're full blooded Italian. 649 00:46:06,599 --> 00:46:08,519 No, a little bit of polish from my mother's side, but we don't 650 00:46:08,519 --> 00:46:13,559 own that. We kind of shirk that asign. But yeah, I like 651 00:46:13,679 --> 00:46:16,000 to make a house smell good, like with all the little things you do, 652 00:46:16,039 --> 00:46:20,400 and I don't know, I'd like shopping for a little silly things but 653 00:46:20,519 --> 00:46:24,519 now fits together. So it's really normal, normal, normal, normal life. 654 00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:29,880 Right about performing, like not stand up? But what about performing? 655 00:46:30,079 --> 00:46:31,519 I mean, I know you do not stand up, but I mean like 656 00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:35,679 you were doing the Broadway show, the off Broadway show, Like do you 657 00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:39,760 still like writing and performing? Do you want to do another one? Really? 658 00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:44,079 I mean I did two shows after retirement that were just sort of like 659 00:46:44,119 --> 00:46:47,639 one was like a Q and a thing that was a lot of fun in 660 00:46:47,639 --> 00:46:52,119 a theater and I was just like that's fine, like who cares? And 661 00:46:52,159 --> 00:46:57,880 then last year I felt very compelled to write a show about failure called Lisa 662 00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:00,960 Lamp and Ellie Big Fat Failure, and was about all the failures I had 663 00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:06,840 through life to kind of normalize that it's okay, because I don't think a 664 00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:12,679 show by a failed person is impactful because you're like, I'm not going to 665 00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:19,280 learn from you. But if I, as an ostensibly successful person, get 666 00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,440 up and say yeah, well I fucked up this, this, this, 667 00:47:21,519 --> 00:47:24,280 and this, and we did songs and funny parodies and stuff, but it 668 00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:29,199 was a lot of serious stuff. I go, that's important. People can 669 00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:32,199 know whatever they failed that at least it wasn't as bad as mine. So 670 00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:36,400 I did that twice and then didn't have to Once it was written, it 671 00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,199 went through me and I was like, kind of those failures lifted and I 672 00:47:39,199 --> 00:47:45,480 can laugh about them now. And you wrote a memoir, right, I 673 00:47:45,519 --> 00:47:47,559 did, But that was years ago when everyone was getting a book deal. 674 00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:51,800 Every stand up was getting a book deal in the nineties or early two days. 675 00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:57,920 So we made bank bro and it's thinks that's fascinating, non best selling 676 00:47:58,559 --> 00:48:00,719 book. But it was actually really good. It was deep. But I 677 00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:06,119 also fucking love I love going to therapy. It's hard, but I love 678 00:48:06,159 --> 00:48:08,639 it. I love Oh my god. I have three beginning not beginning stand 679 00:48:08,679 --> 00:48:13,119 up. They've been doing stand up like five years. These three straight guys 680 00:48:13,199 --> 00:48:16,199 that I'm really good friends with. We meet every single Tuesday with this big 681 00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:22,079 dinner and then we work on writing and literally it's the appointment that I love 682 00:48:22,119 --> 00:48:25,119 the most every week. And then the acting class. I'm taking a directing 683 00:48:25,159 --> 00:48:29,480 class. That stuff stuff I'll just do as a hobby and we'll see what 684 00:48:29,519 --> 00:48:34,960 happens. I'll probably never use it. But what's interesting and ironic. I'm 685 00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:37,599 a fucking good actor. I now that I took the goal out of it. 686 00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,559 Everyone in class is like, what the fuck, and I'm like, 687 00:48:40,639 --> 00:48:45,360 yeah, that's so. It isn't an interesting. My dad was the same 688 00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,119 way. He didn't know he was a great painter until he went to a 689 00:48:47,159 --> 00:48:50,920 beginning class and they were all like, what the fuck, Land, You're 690 00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:54,519 a great painter. It just when we have no goal, we don't want 691 00:48:54,519 --> 00:48:59,760 to sell whatever we're creating it, we're somehow allowing ourselves to be good at 692 00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:05,519 it. It's funny. That is interesting. Yeah, Like before we go, 693 00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:07,440 can you just give us some fun stories about, Like, what's the 694 00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:12,639 worst roast you ever did? Crazy? Something crazy that happened. The David 695 00:49:12,679 --> 00:49:15,559 Hasselhoff roast was like insane, right, I was a blast. See, 696 00:49:15,639 --> 00:49:21,559 no roast was ever that much fun because I don't drink and I'm not sober 697 00:49:21,599 --> 00:49:25,519 or anything. I just never liked the taste of booze and everybody's drinking and 698 00:49:25,599 --> 00:49:29,199 having a good time and I'm sitting up there. If you ever see a 699 00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:32,320 camera and they pan out, you will see me with those papers on my 700 00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:37,679 lap, fucking cross and shit out rewriting because the whole time you're like, 701 00:49:37,039 --> 00:49:39,599 oh, no, I have to edit because this guy said this or whatever. 702 00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:44,920 So I never had a lot of fun, although I fucking looked like 703 00:49:45,079 --> 00:49:47,719 I was having fun. And also I looked like I was the best sport 704 00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:52,599 ever. Because the trick is because I would always get these you know, 705 00:49:52,679 --> 00:49:54,920 fan letters, going oh, not only do you give it, you could 706 00:49:54,920 --> 00:50:00,519 take it? Well, the trick is, there's a big tele rompter for 707 00:50:00,559 --> 00:50:02,519 all the guys doing the jokes, right, some of us use paper, 708 00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:07,280 some of us use the telegrapter. Well, they used to put up the 709 00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:12,280 teleprompter joke and I'd glanced at the teleprompter or what they were going to say, 710 00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:15,760 and if I saw my name, I'd sit up and I'm not getting 711 00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:19,880 ready for that fucking fake laugh, even if the joke sucks. So every 712 00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:23,480 fucking joke they did, I would just sit up and I'd be flying even 713 00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:27,920 it was dumb. So I was known as this really good sport. Right, 714 00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:31,159 did some jokes hurt only lazy, badly written? Because I'm like I'm 715 00:50:31,159 --> 00:50:35,960 worth more than that. But dude, that's how I fucking tricked the world 716 00:50:36,039 --> 00:50:39,079 into thinking I was the best sport on the planet. Wow, that's interesting. 717 00:50:39,159 --> 00:50:42,360 Gotta do what you gotta do. Gotta do what you gotta do. 718 00:50:42,599 --> 00:50:46,559 Did anybody that you were roasting genuinely get pissed off? Though? Well, 719 00:50:46,599 --> 00:50:53,199 Andy Dick was always acting pissed off and everybody, but he was so inebriated 720 00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:58,320 that I'm never sure if that he was just acting that, but he was 721 00:50:58,519 --> 00:51:01,320 damaged, so like, I didn't worry about it too much. I remember 722 00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:05,559 Hulkogan went up to my husband at the time and he just goes, oh, 723 00:51:05,639 --> 00:51:09,119 man, a woman is brutal, my friend, And I thought that 724 00:51:09,159 --> 00:51:15,440 was a nice compliment. I don't think. What about Trump? How was 725 00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:19,199 the Trump roast? Well, let's I think it was way before any presidential 726 00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:22,800 ship and he put me in Adam on the Apprentice after yeah, so will 727 00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,760 correct me. I was like, oh, he really liked that roast, 728 00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:29,880 because I got a call like three days later, do you want to do 729 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:34,599 the Apprentice? I'm like sure, fine, and I'm like, oh shit, 730 00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:38,440 no. He was fine because honestly, the way Trump was back then, 731 00:51:38,519 --> 00:51:43,719 at least it was just like mother saying my name, I'm getting attention. 732 00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:45,760 It was how I was when I would sit up and laugh at all 733 00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:49,480 the jokes. The more airtime, the better, you know. So yeah, 734 00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:52,800 it was fine. None of the roasts were miserable, but I wouldn't 735 00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:54,800 say they're fun. It's fucking work. Yeah, that's the It's a lot 736 00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:59,079 of work, right, So when you were on the Apprentice, you got 737 00:51:59,119 --> 00:52:07,199 in some like little many altercations with some people, right enormous battles. Was 738 00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:13,480 furious every second of every day because I really the fact that I resented the 739 00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:15,880 fact that the men had a smart team and we had a bunch of fucking 740 00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:22,760 dummies. Say which a will about Adam pendialet All these they're fucking smart. 741 00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:29,880 So you got on that team too, literal geniuses. Then you've got hard 742 00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:35,079 working guys who were smart, like d Snyder was really brainy from I mean, 743 00:52:35,119 --> 00:52:38,039 I didn't know that. And then there's all these other guys who carried 744 00:52:38,119 --> 00:52:42,840 water. You know, we're really bright, Clay Aikins really smart, and 745 00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:47,239 my team was a fucking dumb, real housewife squat fucking and you know what, 746 00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:50,400 Honestly, I was just about to joke and say, Debbie Gibson. 747 00:52:50,519 --> 00:52:54,800 She was actually really smart and a bunch of fucking dopes, and again that's 748 00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:58,840 so egotistical. And some of them, I'm sure we're smart, but I 749 00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:01,280 wouldn't give anybody to chants because I'm always right now, I'm always want with 750 00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:07,639 the big mouths. So I was in epic fucking battles. Dude, if 751 00:53:07,679 --> 00:53:09,840 you ever saw the ones, they didn't er. I mean, there was 752 00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:14,440 some shit I said that. I think I would have been canceled before that 753 00:53:14,519 --> 00:53:21,960 exists. Right, was so bad, but you know, it is what 754 00:53:22,039 --> 00:53:24,119 it is. It was. I was sleep deprived, but I was also 755 00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:30,280 just a raging, unhappy cunt. I think that would be a good title 756 00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:35,519 for your one woman's show, just raging unhappy count. Yes, you know 757 00:53:35,639 --> 00:53:37,679 what, if I ever decide to do another show, that's what the title 758 00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:44,599 is. That's a good note to go out. Yeah yeah, yeah, 759 00:53:44,639 --> 00:53:47,800 you are awesome. Will you come back and do it again? Please talk 760 00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:52,519 about something else. I love you guys. This was so painless, Like 761 00:53:52,559 --> 00:53:57,880 I literally love being a guest on podcast. I I mean, I certainly 762 00:53:58,079 --> 00:54:02,440 don't do any that aren't good, and I wouldn't do anything that's against my 763 00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:07,880 political leanings and things but boy do I love being asked questions. And you 764 00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:14,280 know when I always tell beginning actors and comics ask advice because no one loves 765 00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:17,079 anything more than talking about themselves. I'm like, everyone's going to give you 766 00:54:17,199 --> 00:54:21,559 advice because they get to tell stories about themselves. We're big fucking egomaniacs. 767 00:54:21,599 --> 00:54:25,800 So thank you for letting me start this day totally full of myself. So 768 00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:29,880 thank you, well, you know, and also it's Labor Day. It's 769 00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:31,119 you know, it's a holiday, and it's first thing in the I mean 770 00:54:31,679 --> 00:54:36,679 it's in you know, So thank you for taking the time on a holiday. 771 00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:39,440 No, I love you, Lisa, We really And occasionally, by 772 00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:43,440 the way, I'll be strolling through my camera all just to like the leave 773 00:54:43,519 --> 00:54:45,320 things, and I'm like, oh my god, Lynette's picture with me. 774 00:54:45,599 --> 00:54:50,159 I remember that. I love that picture. Yeah, that was fun. 775 00:54:50,199 --> 00:54:52,679 When I did your podcast, it was I would never get invited on podcasts. 776 00:54:52,679 --> 00:54:57,079 That was amazing, Like, yeah, it was so much fun with 777 00:54:57,199 --> 00:54:59,639 my gun. I was like, oh, I like her, she seems 778 00:54:59,679 --> 00:55:04,320 cool. Yeah. I am leaving friends ever since. So you don't do 779 00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:07,880 that podcast anymore. But we asked you ahead of time in case our audience 780 00:55:07,039 --> 00:55:10,480 what you wanted to promote, and you said, just life, just living 781 00:55:10,559 --> 00:55:15,280 life, Instagram. Are you on social media? I mean I am. 782 00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:19,199 I'm on Instagram, but just for fun, Like I don't have anything I 783 00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:23,199 help. I definitely try to lift up other people because you know, I'm 784 00:55:23,199 --> 00:55:28,039 friends who are comics or things on TV that I love or whatever. I 785 00:55:28,039 --> 00:55:31,599 don't like have anything to promote. I don't care because I'm just like at 786 00:55:31,599 --> 00:55:37,639 that stage of life that life is just fun. But also you know it's 787 00:55:37,679 --> 00:55:43,480 so funny to kind of do shows and then remember that's why people do shows 788 00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:46,320 to promote shit. It's like, I got nothing, but this means you 789 00:55:46,360 --> 00:55:50,840 owe me one that if I ever decided to do a comeback or which I 790 00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:52,239 won't stand up, but if I ever decided to do a show, I'm 791 00:55:52,239 --> 00:55:57,119 calling in a favor and saying, listen to wats get right now? Of 792 00:55:57,159 --> 00:56:00,480 course done? Yes, oh I got You'd be honored. Well, thank 793 00:56:00,519 --> 00:56:04,199 you. So we can't thank you enough. Lisa. You've been the best. 794 00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:07,480 Everybody, go check out Lisa Lampanelli wherever you want to check her where 795 00:56:07,599 --> 00:56:14,840 the fun is. Thank you, Lisa, I love you, take care 796 00:56:15,559 --> 00:56:21,079 right, letting go