WEBVTT

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This episode is sponsored by the Second
City Love Comedy in Filmmaking than the Harold

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Ramis Film Schools yearlong program at the
Second City is for you. Visit Ramis

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film School dot com for more info. Hey, Babe, I just I've

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just really been just been such a
great year, and I wanted to make

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this anniversary special. So I got
you something goblin. Oh, you went

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to Jarriff. That's right, Sarah. I went to Jarred. I sell

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your goblins, had related pets supplies
Jareff the galleria of Goblin. Are you

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looking for a special goblin for that
special someone, Put on your red shoes

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and come to Jariff's. At Jariff's, find your perfect goblin from our fine

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selection of above and blowground goblin varieties. Take I ninety four to the Eisenhower

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and to change then turn left,
Sarah. Take advantage of our first time

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goblin buyer financing today with our flexible
credit forget about the layaway. Oh my

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god, Sarah, is that what
I think it is? It's sure?

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And he went to Jeid. He
went to Jerid. That reminds me of

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the Saale. What sales sale on
Friday? Come in this Friday for big

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savings with discounts, giveaways and valet
parking. I move these carts for no

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one. There will be no valet
parking. What kind of goblin? Where

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you choose at? Jaif the Galleria
of Goblins dep boo baby, Hi everybody,

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welcome to Bloody Photos. We've missed
you of Sannah. This is David

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Floora. How did you do?
Hell? Yes, freak out in the

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Moon Edge podcast. Oh yeah,
there we go. That's it. That's

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David's Stecko and that's flirting, flirting
Flora. I hope everybody's doing well.

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We got a real good show for
you. Guess you can't guess what it

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is about what we're sober? Can't
tell can't tell that either, Jesus.

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We're talking about goblin, talking about
goblins, talk about talk about single the

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whole time. That is that all
we're gonna do. Yeah, that's uh,

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that's what the show is going to
be about. Great great intro,

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David, Um, Yeah, thank
you, so real quick news for you

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before before we launch into this,
because we got a lot to get to.

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I was really pleasantly surprised by how
much concise information there was and yet

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how much to draw from. Yeah, exactly there's there's a lot of really

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fun information we found in our research
and also heavily aided by oh yes,

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listener Brook. Yeah, listener Brooke
gave us a huge amount of links and

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stuff and this this, this is
one of my favorite kind of things where

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there's a great amount amount of information
about the folklore and the mythology. But

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man, if you want to take
that that motorcycle up to in the Crazy

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Bull Reservoir, du Chevy to that
Levy Chevy, it's my Chevrolet motorcycle.

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We're all up in the music references
in this episode apparently so. But before

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we get to a huge announcement,
Yeah, guys, Patreon, no no,

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no, we can quit. Oh
yeah, some so we gave us

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one star. It's over. It's
all you know. We tried, We

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tried, but boy, like a
sniper, he just put us down.

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We'd have quit a few times,
by several several times more than that.

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Knock us off this pony. Yeah, we have started our Patreon. Yeah,

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go to patreon dot com slash blurry
photos and you should be able to

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find us there. I'll have the
link on the website of course, yep.

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But it's a great way to support
us a month to month. It's

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kind of like subscription based. Yeah
yeah, but when you pay for it,

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you get something back out of it. Exactly. We made a point

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of as much as as two guys
with jobs can possibly incentivize every month.

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Yeah, more than we can Exactly, I don't say that, but we

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do have. We we tried to
make everything worthwhile and rewarding, and I'm

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really excited about You might even notice
that there are some tiers like the above

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fifty dollars a month. Listen,
we're not greedy bastards, but I mean,

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what kind of idiot wouldn't make that
option? How do I know that

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Chesterton J. Money Bags isn't one
of our biggest fans. That's right,

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Chesterton who is loath to give away
one hundred dollars to anyone unless he wants

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to be on a bull phone.
So yeah, check it out. Great

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great rewards on there, and then
you know, the more you guys support

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us, the more we get to
do. We've also listed our goals on

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the side. Did I say that? Really? Weirdly, it doesn't matters

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on the side goals. I love
goals goals on the side. So um,

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yeah, we we've we've got big
plans, bigger plans, the biggest

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plans, the biggest plans, the
best plans. Yeah, so it's awesome.

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I couldn't be more excited about it, which isn't to say, I

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mean, listen, I get it. Yeah, monthly. Maybe that's not

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your bag. Maybe you don't have
that there, Maybe we're not quite that.

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What can they do in that case, Dave? They can. They

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can make a gigantic fist. They
can get a couple of friends that are

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probably puppets, they can make their
way to the center of the Goblin Kingdom,

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and then they can punch that fucking
baby of a donut donate button.

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I'll call it the donut button until
I die. I can't get around that.

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This has never been a problem too
recently. Well, I was going

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to say, Toby, the donate
button. If they if they want something

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out of it, out of the
money, instead of just throwing money,

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why not get a T shirt?
Oh, some are fully functioning store.

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Yes, how about that guy's store. It's fully operation. Oh I'm afraid

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your wallet. We'll find these store
fully operation. God, it gets really

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condescending. Oh well, sure,
so that's that's enough business. Let's get

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to some of the fun shit.
That business is their pleasure. I'm going

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to start in on on this because
man, there's a lot to get to

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and it's all fun and games and
you will lose an eye. So Goblins

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are malevolent little creatures from folklore that
live in dark places and delight and causing

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trouble. As a mythological creature,
they have evolved into grotesque, pointy eared,

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green skinned, the little bastards that
live deep underground and have quite the

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murderous streak. Oh no, oh, We're gonna look at the history of

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them in folklore, where the term
came from, how they're described, and

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their influence in pop culture. We
even have a few news articles of recent

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goblin activity, which, as we
said, we're provided very kindly by listener

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Barok. Yeah, if you want
a goblin hunt, there is one place

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on earth you need to go.
Where's it? I'm not telling you yet,

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Okay, Okay, dangling that carrot
Jesus. So if we and if

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we have time to get to a
story or a poem here there we've got

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that. So yeah, we'll see, we'll see. Let's get to the

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etymology of the name. Cause yeah, as you may have found. The

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frustrating thing about goblins is that the
name is synonymous with a host of fantastical

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creatures. Goblin is usually a general
term that's used for a small evil creature,

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but that could encompass such variations as
you wanna you wanna join me on

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this list, you want to tennis
rackets, such variations as bogarts, bogies,

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blobbins, bogels, brags, farfadet, jiggle, nibs, gobbies,

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jul hobgobs, go bowls, little
nickels, luton knockers, pooka spriggan,

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bugbear, bo bach, pickle sniffer, patroll brownies, and so on.

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It's up to you to pick out
which ones we're not We're not actually terms

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back, that's a pretty good one, you know what. Well, gosh,

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what have we got over here?
A couple boo go with my garden.

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Do you remember talking about the grog, Yeah, the grog or the

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grogac, the little hairy naked man
that that loves I love that cream.

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Oh God, just to give in
so rich full of cream. Fun me.

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It's kind of like that. So
anyways, in British folklore, there's

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sometimes a type of faith folk albeit
a very mischievous or malicious one. Not

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The word goblin has no definite origin, but a lot of potential rig Oh

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yeah, may have derived from the
Greek cobolos, which from a cheat were

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which we're michievous MutS could be done
a trey hobos uh, which were mischievous

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little known dwarves or you know,
a little tricky elves of Greek mythology who

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hung out with Dionysus um. From
there developed the Latin cobalus or mountains hear

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it? Then how about it take
a trip up to France for Goblinus Gobelinus.

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What do you think? I don't
know. I like Gobelinus, a

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demon which was expelled from a temple
in Normandy. English have borrowed this version

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to arrive at Goblin on the Welsh
Coblinum, which means either knocker thumper or

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spirit or fiend. Yeah, well
we'll come back to that too, because

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knocker thumper, spirit, spy,
sweater puppy spy. Eleven forty one is

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when we have the account of Gobolinus
written by or Drake Vitalis, and then

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eleven ninety five Goblin appears in Amboie
of Normandy's Garasant. I would have said

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Ambrose, but I would have been
wrong. Yeah, there's no are it

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wasn't. What does that does that
mean? Holy War? Um? Yeah?

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Or War Saint War Saint? Yeah? Yeah, I just figured War

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Saint was kind of weird. But
if it's if, if that's not what

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it is, that's our new comic
book. It'd be probably be pretty cool.

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Yeah. It wasn't until the fourteenth
century that English records the first use

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of goblin as we know it.
And here's a little fun aside for you.

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Okay, the words elves. The
words elves and goblins go back to

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Guelphs and Ghibellinus, the names of
two political parties that divided Italy during the

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Middle Ages, when the Pope and
the Holy Roman Empire had a dick measuring

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contest. Who I don't know.
I don't know that much about popoury and

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what were they using measure? Oh? Did you mean that in a not

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literal way? Do you want to
you want to listen on how to kill

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jokes? Or sorry, are you
gonna teach me saying that's my job?

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Job? My job should never be
that. But sometimes you don't make enough

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money. Sometimes I Moonlight. The
author of this etymology was E. K

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Akaan Spencer, the author of the
poem Fairy Queen. His take was that

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elves and goblins were invented to keep
the common people in ignorance, saying,

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when all Italy was distracted into factions
of the Guelphs and the Ghiblins, being

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two famous houses in Florence, the
name began, through their great mischiefs and

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many outrages, to be so odious
or rather dreadful, that if their children

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at any time were forward and wanting, they would say to them that the

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Guelphs and the Giblin came, which
words now from them become into our usage,

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And for Guelphs and Ghiblins we say
elves and goblins. That was a

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good reading getting, considering like enough
there was enough Middle English with the extra

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ease, and in there there were
a lot of rogue e's going around.

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Yeah, forward is froward that that's
actually more fun? Oh I missed that.

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I could have said that I will
regrets. The hardest thing to live

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with shere is God? Can that
be the subtitle of art podcast Flurry Photos

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Regrets The hardest thing to blowin?
Now? Here's the fun fact. A

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group of goblins is referred to as
a horde. Female goblins are referred to

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as hags or crones. Really for
the Horde. They didn't know that,

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do you know? There were three
nights a year when goblins were most active.

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On Those evenings were called tier tier
nos Oh tierns, yes, bran

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nos, or three nights for spirits. That's Welsh by the way, Oh

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sweet may Day Eve, Midsummer Eve
and all Hallows Eve. Yep, so

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there are three separate nights in the
year, and it kind of ties into

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like Solwin in a way, you
know, where the veil is innest.

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In a work by sixteenth century occultist
and egotistical renaissance man Paracelsus, the king

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of the cave dwelling Gnomes is named
gob and the subjects are goblins, although

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arrested development taught us that that's pronounced
job joblins joblins. Yeah, Paracelsis.

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I have a feeling we'll be hearing
back from him later on in the season,

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just because of his work in chemistry. Oh yeah, you like to

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look at that ankle, good sir, About a little whiff of wrist,

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worst riffa How about let's let's describe
these things and get off the first page

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of this Goblins stand between a foot
and a half to three feet tall or

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up to a meter and more often
cratch tall is what they are, and

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more often than not, they are
disgusting, ugly, dirty, ransdly odiferous.

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They are revolting in many ways.
They can have small yellow eyes,

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long thin, warty noses, long
pointy ears, thin sneering lips revealing crooked,

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sharp yellow teeth, and long fingers
with sharp nails which accumulate filth so

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that any scratch quickly becomes infected.
They're dirty. Nowadays they're typically depicted with

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green skin, wearing whatever clothing they
come across. Their intelligence is well below

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average, now I mean not always, though sometimes they're very clever. I

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mean, and I'm not just talking
about like World of Warcraft goblins, but

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like the there is like a fair
amount of like crafty goblin things. You

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know what? You know what a
goblin? I just thought of that I

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forgot all about. Did you ever
see, uh, what was that Stephen

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King movie Cat's Eye? I never
saw it. It's a collection of stories,

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as I recalling. In one of
them, there was a little goblin.

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M Yeah, it was the cat
fought a goblin for who got to

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be the biggest hole in the house
for a while. In older tales,

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you're right, they have well,
they their descriptions. They have bushy brows,

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gray hair and beards, and they're
not green at all, and they're

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more humanlike, and they have a
cunning intellect. They may also possess magical

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abilities, including a degree of invisibility. Sweet In some cultures they are more

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like tricksters who steal horses, horses
horses who steal horses to ride at night,

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hide small objects, tip over pails
of milk, altar signposts, much

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like the pixies of Great Britain.
Some believe that goblins are more malevolent,

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weaving nightmares out of Gotham there and
inserting them into weaving nightmares with out of

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Gothamer scream scream for your life from
the dingear and inserting them into the ear

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of a sleeping human, Stealing human
and women and children and hiding them away

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underground, or even stealing human babies
and replacing them with ugly goblin babies.

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A changelings and ps. You're We're
going to come back to some of that

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goblin behavior later boy, Now many
tales paint them is greedy, with a

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love for silver, gold or other
bulbles or Michael booblats. We mostly think

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of them living underground, but those
of a more phalite characteristic were said to

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inhabit households like brownies did. If
they were given gifts, they would be

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helpful, but if they felt slighted
in the slightest they would bang pots,

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pans, knock on walls, doors, which is why they're called knockers.

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Oh, also that gigantic boobs.
They would rearrange items, throw things,

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tangle horses, manes, and tails. And if that wasn't whimsical enough,

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how about they just dig up the
bones of your loved ones scatter them things.

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Yeah, that that really escalated.
I'm gonna get your horsetail. Look

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00:18:03.640 --> 00:18:08.119
out, I'm gonna take your daughter
and scatter the bones. I'm gonna bang

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these pots together. And if that
doesn't work, I'll desecrate the grave of

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your loved ones. That's how you
do it. Now, it may have

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been a good omen if you find
goblins living in a mine, because they

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00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:26.079
were thought to linger near the richest
loads loads loads. A couple of articles

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are goblins may have originated between the
French or Spanish Pyrenees, from which they

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spread throughout Europe. You know,
that's one of those things where it's like

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00:18:37.319 --> 00:18:41.440
one out of every three things you
read says that, Yeah, you know,

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00:18:41.559 --> 00:18:45.319
one of these days and maybe when
we finally get around to doing Atlantism,

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00:18:45.400 --> 00:18:49.200
we got to talk more about the
Pyrenees Mountains. In Andorrach, that

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00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:55.079
tiny, tiny little country that lives
between France and Spain. They speak a

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00:18:55.400 --> 00:19:00.920
completely unique non Romance language. There's
a lot of weird anomalies about and Dora.

220
00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:04.599
And mean, you know, one
of the running theories that I think

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that even they are like sure is
that they are a little enclave of displaced

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00:19:10.920 --> 00:19:15.680
Atlanteans. Yeah. Another here nor
there. We covered alley near the Ding,

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somewhere near the gothamous strands of nightmares
and cobwebs. You know, we

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covered a lot of creatures that are
kind of lumped under the goblin umbrella.

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And we have before, I mean
we got I mean even in Kentucky there

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00:19:30.680 --> 00:19:36.559
was like a gremlin goblin alien.
Oh yeah, then diagram with a whole

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bunch of shotgun wielding people in the
middle. Yeah, the the Kelly Hopkinsville

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encounter. They called those goblins,
didn't they Sometimes we we went over down

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00:19:47.599 --> 00:19:52.640
our Grimlins episode, but I think
they're they're more classified. If you google,

230
00:19:52.759 --> 00:19:56.559
do you classify the right? If
you google Kentucky goblins, that's what

231
00:19:56.640 --> 00:20:00.960
you're gonna do, You're gonna get. But we've talked about specifically in our

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00:20:00.039 --> 00:20:03.839
Irish Legends episode. I feel like
we hit a bunch of these. Yeah,

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the Puca, the grogach, which
we've talked about red cap. Maybe

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00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:12.240
that was on the Gremlins, but
we've we've gone over that, so we're

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not going to talk about every specific
type that's lumped under goblin. But this

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is important too, because I mean, it's kind of I enjoyed this in

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the same manner I really liked our
ghost Taxonomy episode of Yeah, okay,

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what's the difference between a goblin and
a hobgoblin and a green goblin in a

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00:20:33.640 --> 00:20:44.480
green lantern huh in in Lanta lantan
Lantana in black Manta lantern Lantana. That's

240
00:20:44.519 --> 00:20:52.160
who I dressed as. I'm lantern
Lantana. My my? What have we?

241
00:20:56.200 --> 00:20:57.640
There are two rules you remember if
you want to have a good time.

242
00:20:57.839 --> 00:21:02.319
Rule Number one never run out of
coot foot if rule number two,

243
00:21:02.720 --> 00:21:07.119
never forget rule number one. Oh
that's cool, thanks, Billy d oh,

244
00:21:07.279 --> 00:21:11.000
Billy d All right, what are
we talking about goblins? Probably?

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00:21:11.240 --> 00:21:15.240
Yeah, we talked about having having
talked about them. But the difference between

246
00:21:15.319 --> 00:21:18.440
YadA YadA, we haven't talked about
talking about them. So you you you

247
00:21:18.759 --> 00:21:22.119
said hobgoblins. Yeah, I want
to know what the difference between a goblin

248
00:21:22.200 --> 00:21:25.519
and a hobgoblin is? Well,
I do too. Hobgoblins seem to be

249
00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:30.480
a spirit of the household. A
hobb is a term for a fireplace,

250
00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:33.279
shelf or maybe a cook top.
Right. They're almost like a combination of

251
00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:38.359
a goblin and a brune, which
is a brownie. We call them brownies.

252
00:21:38.400 --> 00:21:45.640
It's the Scottish is brune. They'll
help around a house if they're fed,

253
00:21:47.200 --> 00:21:51.200
and their pride causes them to leave
forever if they're giving a piece of

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00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:55.839
clothing instead. Is that like reverse
house elves. It's probably where it came

255
00:21:55.880 --> 00:22:00.319
from, right, Probably. Unlike
brunis, they are fond of practical oaks

256
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:04.319
and calls mostly harmless troublemaking, like
putting Grandma's skull in the hood of your

257
00:22:04.359 --> 00:22:14.200
car. Now Cobalds. Oh yeah, we've heard of you know, I'm

258
00:22:14.240 --> 00:22:15.799
sorry to interrupt you. A lot
of the stuff I'm not A lot of

259
00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:21.079
stuff comes from our nerds circles like, yeah, we go back to D

260
00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:25.200
and D and the fantasy realm and
all that stuff. Anyone who's ever played

261
00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:30.680
a pen and paper role playing game
or any fantasy video game RPG. Yeah,

262
00:22:30.119 --> 00:22:33.720
you're gonna kill a lot of cobolds
and goblins. Really yeah, like

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00:22:34.079 --> 00:22:38.680
right off the tip, it's always
cobald time. Yeah. So in the

264
00:22:40.119 --> 00:22:44.160
Balder's Gate, I think with like
your first big quests were like, go,

265
00:22:44.440 --> 00:22:48.680
go take a cave of cobolds out. Oh yeah, the same World

266
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of Warcraft. Man. The thing
one thing I always liked for some reason,

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00:22:52.680 --> 00:22:55.079
in the World of Warcraft, they
made it so that the Cobalds were

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00:22:55.400 --> 00:22:59.359
positive that your job was to steal
their candles. There actually might be a

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00:22:59.440 --> 00:23:00.920
question we have to take them,
but for the rest of the game they'll

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00:23:00.920 --> 00:23:07.839
always scream, you know, takey
candle, cheese Yoh yeah yeah, mister

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00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:14.200
Cobald, me take candle, Me
takey candle. So sorry, so so

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tell us about what they are.
They are Germanic in origin, um and

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it's it's kind of tough to say
if it has any direct ties to the

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00:23:22.039 --> 00:23:26.759
Greek cobalos, which I don't see
how it couldn't um or the Latin cobalis,

275
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which I also feel like is related
to the Greek whatever. You know.

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And as we said, like I
don't consider Cobald to be a goblin.

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00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:38.200
They're like, yeah, they're like
rat dogs, rat dog things.

278
00:23:38.319 --> 00:23:44.880
Yeah, humanoid rat dog yeah,
man bear peg man bear pigs, totally

279
00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:48.839
seal. Having said that, though
they've they're also historically been more of machieval

280
00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:55.680
miss a machetti spirit, a mischievous
spirit that inhabits people's homes. They live

281
00:23:55.720 --> 00:24:00.440
in deep minds, duh or this
is a good one. Live on ships.

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00:24:00.799 --> 00:24:03.839
They're like like gremlins, but for
ships. Oh that's great. Yeah.

283
00:24:04.400 --> 00:24:08.240
I think they even wear little sailor
outfits too. Oh they're like wheel

284
00:24:08.279 --> 00:24:15.440
little sailors. Look look at the
mist your week. Oh that's adorable.

285
00:24:15.640 --> 00:24:19.400
Now give me that can candle.
I take your candle. I don't know

286
00:24:19.440 --> 00:24:27.000
why we're Scottish when they're Germanic.
Oh look little salem on hey e schools

287
00:24:27.079 --> 00:24:30.559
me me, it's the tiny sailor
I would like to take a candle.

288
00:24:30.920 --> 00:24:36.799
That's all your sinkings about that?
Oh it was a TwixT question because I

289
00:24:36.880 --> 00:24:42.000
don't care. You can make that
a candle, any kind of candle,

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00:24:42.720 --> 00:24:48.799
and a kind of salem on.
Alright, you've exhausted it. You're getting

291
00:24:48.920 --> 00:24:56.559
real self indulgent there. How about
the underground dwelling cobolds. These guys are

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00:24:56.599 --> 00:25:03.079
little fuckers. And actually they name
the element cobalt is from cobalds. It's

293
00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:07.680
kind of cool a medieval mimers.
Medieval miners would blame the ill effects of

294
00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:14.880
the arsenic ores that was found in
cobalatite and smellatite on cobalts, so whenever

295
00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:19.240
they were getting poisoned by their surroundings, they were like, it's the darty

296
00:25:19.359 --> 00:25:23.519
cobalds, these little cobolds doing it. Yeah, pretty cool. They named

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00:25:23.559 --> 00:25:27.079
an element after the Yeah, I
think so too. Calicant Zaro's is a

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00:25:27.160 --> 00:25:32.759
type of goblin in Greek and Cypriot
folklore. They are creatures of a night,

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00:25:33.119 --> 00:25:37.720
but emerge from their underground dwellings from
December twenty fifth to January sixth,

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00:25:37.519 --> 00:25:45.599
when the sun ceases its seasonal movement. It's believed that calicant zaroi stay underground,

301
00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:51.279
sawing the World Tree that holds up
the earth so that it will collapse

302
00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:56.079
along with the earth dicks. However, when they're about to saw the final

303
00:25:56.240 --> 00:26:00.119
part Christmas Dons and they're able to
come to the surface, they forget the

304
00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:04.240
tree and come to bring trouble to
mortals. Finally, on the Epiphany,

305
00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:08.480
which is January sixth, the sun
starts moving again and they must go underground

306
00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:14.200
to continue their sawing. They see
that during their absence, the World Tree

307
00:26:14.319 --> 00:26:18.200
has healed itself, so they must
start working all over again, which happens

308
00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:25.480
every year. Idiot's interesting that it's
it's Greek and they have a world tree.

309
00:26:26.240 --> 00:26:30.400
Yeah, kind of like the Scandinavian, the Norse, Igjrazil, you

310
00:26:30.440 --> 00:26:34.759
know. And then I mean Epiphany
very Christian, right the stuff? Yeah,

311
00:26:34.880 --> 00:26:41.720
so I mean, what an inclusive
little tale. How about the Duende?

312
00:26:42.720 --> 00:26:48.720
They are goblin like creatures from Spanish
pork porkages. Jesus, what what

313
00:26:48.920 --> 00:26:52.200
happened to me? Port crimes?
Yeah? I like, I want to

314
00:26:52.240 --> 00:26:59.359
go to pork porkage. They are
goblin like creatures from Spanish, Portuguese and

315
00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:03.480
Philippine fork folklore. Do you smell
toast Jesus? Maybe? I need a

316
00:27:03.559 --> 00:27:10.480
drink. Parts of cheesus particky,
okay, start all over. Goblin like

317
00:27:10.599 --> 00:27:15.880
creatures from Spanish, Portuguese and Filipino
folklore and they are more forest spirits can

318
00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:22.400
with the tick belong. They wander
the forest in big hats, look out

319
00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:29.559
everybody, they whistle and in enchanting
tour they whistling and chanting tune and lure

320
00:27:29.680 --> 00:27:33.000
children off the path to lose them
in the forest. In Mexico, they

321
00:27:33.079 --> 00:27:37.839
live in homes and try to clip
toenails of unkempt children, sometimes taking a

322
00:27:37.960 --> 00:27:45.119
toe in the process. Slapped Lo
Santo Chico. In the Philippines, they

323
00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:48.920
come in white or black colors and
play with children. Are just straight up

324
00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:55.599
take children like hey, you know, dealer's choice hopscotch or getting the veil.

325
00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:57.960
It's the white the white goblins play
with them and the black goblins take

326
00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:03.039
them away. Are you sure?
Huh? Okay? Sorry, racist,

327
00:28:03.960 --> 00:28:06.839
just don't Oh no, no,
no, you're not racist. But you

328
00:28:06.920 --> 00:28:11.160
know you're just gonna continue to make
sure propagate them very exactly, or you're

329
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:14.400
a mom, or maybe I'll teach
him so they can make the choice.

330
00:28:14.759 --> 00:28:18.279
Do you guys know? No joke? And please write in about this floor

331
00:28:18.440 --> 00:28:22.200
is gonna vote for Trump. That's
his thing. He's gonna do that.

332
00:28:22.519 --> 00:28:26.599
Someone just want to watch the world
bon monster Bruce. In Zimbabwe, one

333
00:28:26.720 --> 00:28:33.279
cause of a child being born with
a disability is that a goblin called a

334
00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:41.440
figwompo may have impregnated the mother while
she was sleeping. Jesus Zimbabwe, Gross,

335
00:28:41.880 --> 00:28:45.559
We're gonna go back there now.
Some consider the Japanese Tingu to be

336
00:28:45.640 --> 00:28:48.640
a type of goblin. And how
many times have we talked about these?

337
00:28:48.880 --> 00:28:55.119
Yeah, no doubt real quick Tingu
from what we have have read Apostle fucking

338
00:28:55.279 --> 00:28:59.200
awesome PS one game. Oh yeah, just called tingu, yeah, Ninja.

339
00:28:59.480 --> 00:29:03.599
I like the version where they're little
bird men. They're like a bird

340
00:29:03.799 --> 00:29:07.839
humanoid types that are very well versed
in martial arts and sword fighting, and

341
00:29:08.319 --> 00:29:11.400
they live up in the mountains.
And I think there are a couple of

342
00:29:11.519 --> 00:29:15.640
versions of them. But in early
Tengu legends, they did such evil deeds

343
00:29:15.680 --> 00:29:22.960
as starting fires and kidnapping and eating
children. They could also transform themselves into

344
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:26.759
humans and mislead people. You want
to see some more of this ankle this

345
00:29:27.039 --> 00:29:40.319
way te tang janglers. In later
Tingu legends, they become more mischievous and

346
00:29:40.400 --> 00:29:42.920
even helpful to people, so they
kind of soften up. I guess those

347
00:29:42.960 --> 00:29:48.960
are Those are a few different,
you know types of goblins from around But

348
00:29:49.079 --> 00:29:52.880
now that we've scared you into a
coma, you're terrified about having a pot

349
00:29:53.000 --> 00:29:59.400
clanked or or the skull of a
loved one. Dug up Flora. Can

350
00:29:59.480 --> 00:30:04.079
a man protect this family? Water
filters? Only if you buy little silver

351
00:30:04.279 --> 00:30:11.319
too. That's the family. Buy
my supplemental vitamins. Uh, well,

352
00:30:11.400 --> 00:30:15.400
here's some here's some things you can
do to protect yourself if if you have

353
00:30:15.519 --> 00:30:18.960
a goblin infestation. I'll tell you
all right now, Well, before you

354
00:30:18.039 --> 00:30:21.799
go to bed, it wants you
to tell your family that you love them.

355
00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:25.039
I want you to read the Constitution
to your children. Then I want

356
00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:30.400
you to scatter flax seed all over
the place. Buy my non GMO flax

357
00:30:30.440 --> 00:30:33.000
seed. Feel like my Alex Jones
is going flat. I haven't spent an

358
00:30:33.039 --> 00:30:36.759
afternoon listening to them for a while, so maybe I'm due. I thought

359
00:30:36.799 --> 00:30:41.400
you were speaking more intelligently. Yeah, you can scatter a bunch of flax

360
00:30:41.480 --> 00:30:45.720
seed on the floor before you go
to bed. When the goblin sneaks into

361
00:30:45.759 --> 00:30:49.079
your house, it'll be obliged to
pick up the seeds. It'll seldom complete

362
00:30:49.119 --> 00:30:53.480
this task before dawn, and after
several unsuccessful attempts, it will give up

363
00:30:53.480 --> 00:30:59.319
and leave. I love that like
it's seldom Like sometimes you get a really

364
00:30:59.400 --> 00:31:06.680
diligent oblin and he's all like,
I'm done, wake up. Nightmare than

365
00:31:06.880 --> 00:31:15.839
God the movie. They can be
propreciated by small gifts, so you can

366
00:31:15.880 --> 00:31:18.599
bribe them, you can give them, but don't give them broken tablets of

367
00:31:18.680 --> 00:31:23.960
propecia. If they're pregnant. For
the Kelen Gonzo roy one could leave a

368
00:31:25.119 --> 00:31:30.200
colander on their doorstep. If a
Kelen Conzaro's approached for his evil doings,

369
00:31:30.759 --> 00:31:36.079
he would instead decide to sit and
count the holes until the sun rose and

370
00:31:36.200 --> 00:31:40.119
he was forced to hide. There
is some kind of OCD with counting.

371
00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:42.759
Yeah, I guess, am I
crazy if we run across that before?

372
00:31:42.839 --> 00:31:45.599
Is there something about that's really ringing
a bell in my head? About like

373
00:31:45.799 --> 00:31:51.079
scattering seeds and they have to pick
them all up before they can m Oh,

374
00:31:51.240 --> 00:31:53.400
you know what it is. It's
a it's not from the podcast.

375
00:31:53.480 --> 00:32:00.240
It's um x files X files.
There's the episode with the vamp. It's

376
00:32:00.319 --> 00:32:04.400
one of my favorite episodes. It's
the one with Luke Wilson who plays the

377
00:32:04.440 --> 00:32:07.599
handsome sheriff, and Scully and Mulder
each tell their own version of it.

378
00:32:07.720 --> 00:32:15.039
In Mulder's version, he's got these
giant teeth and he's all like full and

379
00:32:15.079 --> 00:32:17.200
She's like, he doesn't look like
that, Mulder, stop it. And

380
00:32:17.640 --> 00:32:22.839
um. The kid, the redheaded
kid from the sand lot, is the

381
00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:28.240
vampire. He's also the pizza delivery
guy. And mulders scatters toothpicks everywhere and

382
00:32:28.279 --> 00:32:30.720
he's like, oh, why do
you have to do that? Because the

383
00:32:30.799 --> 00:32:32.599
vampire also had that OCD thing.
They had to pick him all up.

384
00:32:32.799 --> 00:32:37.079
That's it. Could you want me
to tell you the whole episode? Because

385
00:32:37.079 --> 00:32:38.759
I think like, I'm eighty percent
of the way there. Will you wait

386
00:32:38.839 --> 00:32:45.079
until I go get a beer?
The calen CONZOI also could not count above

387
00:32:45.319 --> 00:32:50.839
two since three is a holy number
and by pronouncing it they would kill themselves.

388
00:32:51.279 --> 00:32:53.079
Now, how am they gonna sit
and count calendar holes if the ki

389
00:32:57.839 --> 00:33:02.079
over two? Mm? No no
no no, no no no no.

390
00:33:04.039 --> 00:33:07.640
Another method of protection is to leave
the fire burning in the fireplace all night

391
00:33:07.720 --> 00:33:10.519
so they can't enter through there,
like like little evil Santa Claus. Yeah,

392
00:33:10.559 --> 00:33:15.319
that's wasteful. So that's that's the
Greek way to protect yourself. That's

393
00:33:15.359 --> 00:33:19.480
such a weird thing that they've got
OCD. They have to count, but

394
00:33:19.759 --> 00:33:24.359
they can't count. Yeah, yeah, how does did they? Did they

395
00:33:24.400 --> 00:33:28.160
think about the tales they were telling? Well, you know, if you

396
00:33:28.279 --> 00:33:31.359
put out a dish of cream,
you know they can't resist it. But

397
00:33:31.519 --> 00:33:37.000
they're all lactose and taller, and
it'll spend the entire night throwing up,

398
00:33:38.359 --> 00:33:45.079
farting all of the place. So
now comes the part of Sprockets where we

399
00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:52.880
dance. We've got some cool literature
here, and uh, I think we

400
00:33:52.960 --> 00:33:58.000
should start off with our good buddy. You know what, we love you

401
00:33:58.119 --> 00:34:00.599
guys. You know what that means. He's gonna give you something special.

402
00:34:00.640 --> 00:34:05.039
We're gonna give you the d We're
gonna give the Chucky Dren. We're gonna

403
00:34:05.119 --> 00:34:13.079
give you the Dickens. Charles Dickens
and his short story Christmas Goblins. Chuck

404
00:34:13.239 --> 00:34:15.719
d Dave, would you like to
would you like to regale us? I'll

405
00:34:15.760 --> 00:34:21.800
provide some flavour or color commentary.
You'll provide some flavor flavor for this Chuck

406
00:34:21.880 --> 00:34:25.719
d oh No, I'll provide flavor
with an O U nice, let's see.

407
00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:29.199
Oh okay, I know it's voice. I'm gonna do this in what

408
00:34:29.360 --> 00:34:32.079
well what is it? On the
firsth Fandyke scale, firsth fandex scale.

409
00:34:32.159 --> 00:34:37.079
I'm gonna go towards Firth on this
one because this is a kind of a

410
00:34:37.119 --> 00:34:40.599
long story, and when I get
real deep in the Van Dyke, it's

411
00:34:40.840 --> 00:34:45.039
it's tough for a long, prolonged
listening listening in for a telling, I

412
00:34:45.119 --> 00:34:55.480
think, yeah, yeah, everybody
loses. Okay. In an old abbey

413
00:34:55.559 --> 00:35:00.760
town a long long while ago,
they're officiated as sexton, grave, Daggel

414
00:35:00.800 --> 00:35:04.719
and the churchyard. One Gabriel grub. He was an little conditioned, cross

415
00:35:04.920 --> 00:35:08.760
grained, surly fellow who consulted with
nobody but himself and an old wicker bottle

416
00:35:08.800 --> 00:35:14.880
which fitted into his large, deep
waistcoast pocket. A little before twilight,

417
00:35:14.960 --> 00:35:19.519
when Christmas Eve, Gabriel shouldered his
spade, lighted his lantern, and betook

418
00:35:19.599 --> 00:35:22.159
himself toward the old churchyard, for
he had a grave to finish by next

419
00:35:22.239 --> 00:35:27.599
morning, and feeling very low,
he thought it might raise his spirits perhaps

420
00:35:27.639 --> 00:35:31.760
if he went on with the work
at once, hap phaps, mayhaps he

421
00:35:31.880 --> 00:35:36.559
strode along until he turned into the
dark lane which led to the churchyard,

422
00:35:37.000 --> 00:35:39.920
a nice, gloomly mournful place which
the townspeople did not care to go to

423
00:35:40.119 --> 00:35:45.199
except in broad daylight. Consequently,
he was not a little indignant to hear

424
00:35:45.239 --> 00:35:52.760
a young urchin roaring out some jolly
song about a merry Christmas, goddful Christmas.

425
00:35:53.480 --> 00:35:59.639
So did you? Gabriel awaited until
the boy came up, then wrapped

426
00:35:59.679 --> 00:36:02.039
him with a head with his lantern
five or six times to teach him to

427
00:36:02.159 --> 00:36:07.280
modulate his voice. Wow, it
begs the question, what kind of urch

428
00:36:07.440 --> 00:36:13.119
and stands still for such a drubbing. I like to think that he's like,

429
00:36:13.480 --> 00:36:19.760
ah, oh, that's the right
one, hair it is. As

430
00:36:19.800 --> 00:36:22.880
the boy hurried away with his hand
to his head, Gabriel Grubb chuckled to

431
00:36:23.000 --> 00:36:29.400
himself and entered the churchyard. Locked
in the gate behind him, he took

432
00:36:29.440 --> 00:36:31.679
off his coat, put down his
lantern, and, getting into an unfinished

433
00:36:31.719 --> 00:36:36.079
grave, worked at it for an
hour or so with right good will.

434
00:36:36.679 --> 00:36:38.920
But the earth was hardened with the
frost, and it was no easy matter

435
00:36:39.000 --> 00:36:43.039
to break it up and shovel it
out. At any other time this would

436
00:36:43.039 --> 00:36:45.719
have made Gabriel very miserable, but
he was so pleased at having stopped the

437
00:36:45.760 --> 00:36:53.079
boy singing beating a child? Or
do remember drubbing a child? Fondly?

438
00:36:53.719 --> 00:36:59.800
Do boy? Oft times? Find
my mind turning back a pace you a

439
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:05.599
omen I first heard the lapid clack
crossed his face. Oh how he wailed

440
00:37:05.719 --> 00:37:09.639
and moved, Happy day, Happy
day. It warms a cockles of me?

441
00:37:09.800 --> 00:37:14.360
Are it does? Now? Where
was I? Oh? That's right,

442
00:37:14.679 --> 00:37:21.119
don't get a grave? And he
took little heed of the scanty progress

443
00:37:21.199 --> 00:37:23.440
he had made when he had finished
work for the night, looked down into

444
00:37:23.480 --> 00:37:28.320
the grave with grim satisfaction, and
murmured at his as he gathered up his

445
00:37:28.440 --> 00:37:34.119
things. Brave lodgings for one,
brave lodgings for one, A few feet

446
00:37:34.159 --> 00:37:38.639
of cold earth when life is done. Or he laughed and set himself down

447
00:37:38.719 --> 00:37:43.400
on a flat tombstone, which was
a favorite resting place of his, and

448
00:37:43.599 --> 00:37:51.119
drew forth his wicker bottle a coffin
at Christmas. A Christmas botts ho ho,

449
00:37:52.039 --> 00:37:57.519
repeated a voice close beside him,
wars the echoes, said, he

450
00:37:58.000 --> 00:38:02.119
raising the bottle to his lips.
Again it was not said a deep voice.

451
00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:07.400
Gabriel started up and stood rooted to
the spotted terror, for his eyes

452
00:38:07.480 --> 00:38:10.280
rested on a form that made his
blood run quite cold. Seated on an

453
00:38:10.360 --> 00:38:15.760
upright tombstone close to him was a
strange, unearthly figure. He was sitting

454
00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:20.000
perfectly still, grinning at Gabriel grub
with such a grin as could only a

455
00:38:20.159 --> 00:38:25.079
goblin call up. What do you
hear, Old Christmasy, said the goblin

456
00:38:25.440 --> 00:38:30.119
sternly. What kind to dig a
grave? Sir, stammered Gabriel. What

457
00:38:30.480 --> 00:38:42.320
man wonders among graves on such a
night as this? Cried the goblin screamed

458
00:38:42.320 --> 00:38:45.320
a wild course of voices that seemed
to feel the churchyard. What have you

459
00:38:45.639 --> 00:38:52.079
got in that bottle? Saith the
goblin? All in, Sir, replied

460
00:38:52.119 --> 00:38:54.239
the sexton, trembling more than ever, for he had bought it of the

461
00:38:54.320 --> 00:38:59.239
smugglers, and thought his questioner might
be in the excise department of the goblins.

462
00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:05.440
You drink solids alone, and in
a churchyard? Aren't such a night

463
00:39:05.639 --> 00:39:15.679
as this? Exclaimed the wild voices
again? And no, then is our

464
00:39:15.920 --> 00:39:22.119
lawful prize? Exclaimed the goblin,
raising his voice. The invisible chorus replied,

465
00:39:28.239 --> 00:39:32.239
Well, Gabriel, what do you
say to this? Said the goblin,

466
00:39:32.320 --> 00:39:37.599
as he grinned, abroad a grin
then before sexton gasped for breath.

467
00:39:37.079 --> 00:39:44.280
What do you think of this Skypbriel, bitch, it's very curious, sir,

468
00:39:44.840 --> 00:39:47.920
very curious, son, very pretty, replied the sexton, half dead

469
00:39:47.960 --> 00:39:51.960
with fright. Well, I think
I'll go back and finish my work,

470
00:39:52.119 --> 00:39:55.760
sir, if you please, work, said the goblin. What work the

471
00:39:55.920 --> 00:40:01.679
grave, sir? Oh? The
grave? They who makes graves at a

472
00:40:01.760 --> 00:40:07.719
time where other men are mary and
takes a pleasure in it. Again,

473
00:40:07.159 --> 00:40:19.679
the voices replied, I'm afraid my
friends want you, Gabriel, said the

474
00:40:19.760 --> 00:40:23.480
goblin. Under favor, Sir,
replied the horse stricken sexton. I don't

475
00:40:23.519 --> 00:40:28.159
think they can. They don't know
me, sir. I don't think the

476
00:40:28.239 --> 00:40:32.519
gentleman I've ever even seen me.
Oh yes they have. We know the

477
00:40:32.639 --> 00:40:37.599
man who stroked the boy in the
envious malice of his heart, because the

478
00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:43.719
boy could be merry and he could
not. Here the goblin gave a loud,

479
00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:53.960
shrill laugh, which the echoes returned
twentyfold. What I'm afraid I must

480
00:40:54.079 --> 00:40:58.719
leave you, sir, said the
sexton, making an effort to move.

481
00:40:59.039 --> 00:41:05.320
Leave us, said the goblin.
As the goblin laughed, he suddenly darted

482
00:41:05.320 --> 00:41:08.760
towards Gabriel laid his hand upon his
collar and sank with him through the earth.

483
00:41:10.119 --> 00:41:13.880
And when he had had time to
fetch his breath, he found himself

484
00:41:13.960 --> 00:41:16.159
in what appeared to be in a
large cavern, surrounded on all sides by

485
00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:21.400
goblins, ugly and grim. And
now said the king of the goblins,

486
00:41:21.639 --> 00:41:24.079
seated in the center of the room, on an elevated seat, his friend

487
00:41:24.159 --> 00:41:30.559
at the churchyard, Show the man
of misery and gloom a few of the

488
00:41:30.719 --> 00:41:36.559
pictures from our great storehouses. As
the goblin said this, a cloud rolled

489
00:41:36.599 --> 00:41:40.519
gradually away and disclosed a small and
scantily furnished, but neat apartment. Little

490
00:41:40.599 --> 00:41:45.119
children were gathered round a bright fire, cringing to their mother's gown or gamboling

491
00:41:45.159 --> 00:41:49.840
around her chair. A frugal meal
was spread upon the table, and an

492
00:41:49.960 --> 00:41:52.480
edibow chair was placed near the fire. Soon the father entered, and the

493
00:41:52.559 --> 00:41:55.519
children ran to meet him. As
he sat down to his meal, the

494
00:41:55.639 --> 00:42:00.719
mother sat by his side, and
all seemed happiness and comfort. What do

495
00:42:00.880 --> 00:42:07.119
you think of that, Ebenezus,
Gabriel, grub said the goblin. Gabriel

496
00:42:07.199 --> 00:42:10.239
murmured something about it being very pretty. Show him some more, said the

497
00:42:10.320 --> 00:42:15.199
goblin. Many a time the cloud
went and came, and many a lesson

498
00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:19.039
it taught to Gabriel grub He saw
that men who worked hard and earned their

499
00:42:19.039 --> 00:42:22.480
scanty bread were cheerful and happy,
and he came to the conclusion that it

500
00:42:22.599 --> 00:42:25.960
was a very respectable sort of world
after all. No sooner had he formed

501
00:42:27.000 --> 00:42:30.239
it than the cloud closed over.
The last picture seemed to settle on his

502
00:42:30.360 --> 00:42:34.480
senses and lull him into repose.
One by one, the goblins faded from

503
00:42:34.480 --> 00:42:38.480
his side, and as the last
one disappeared, he sank to sleep.

504
00:42:39.639 --> 00:42:44.360
The day had broken when he awoke
and found himself lying on the flat gravestone,

505
00:42:44.679 --> 00:42:47.119
and the wicker bottle empty by his
side. He got on his feet

506
00:42:47.119 --> 00:42:50.760
as well as he could, and, brushing the frost off his coat,

507
00:42:50.840 --> 00:42:53.880
turned his face toward the town.
But he was an altered man. He

508
00:42:54.000 --> 00:43:00.159
had learned lessons of gentleness and good
nature by his strange adventures in the Goblin's

509
00:43:00.199 --> 00:43:13.320
cotin. Okay, So, Charles
Dickens apparently tried like a lot of attempts,

510
00:43:13.800 --> 00:43:19.519
like like Christmas Carol is like the
forty fifth version. Yeah, although

511
00:43:19.639 --> 00:43:23.480
I wish that we had goblins in
Christmas. Christmas goblins. That'd be great,

512
00:43:23.599 --> 00:43:25.920
that'd be great. That was a
good one. Christmas goblins that have

513
00:43:27.000 --> 00:43:30.559
a moral and teach lessons of h
Yeah, that's that's a lot of fun,

514
00:43:30.719 --> 00:43:31.559
that's all. That's all well and
good. But you want to know

515
00:43:31.639 --> 00:43:37.079
what I want to hear? What
I want? A perm? Perm perm?

516
00:43:37.239 --> 00:43:40.760
How about the Nine Little Goblins by
James Whitcomb Riley. I'll accept it

517
00:43:40.840 --> 00:43:47.320
because I love math. They all
climbed up on a high board fence,

518
00:43:47.679 --> 00:43:52.440
nine little goblins with green glass eyes, nine little goblins that had no sense

519
00:43:52.519 --> 00:43:58.480
and couldn't tell coppers from coldman's pies. And they all climbed up on the

520
00:43:58.559 --> 00:44:00.960
fence and set and I asked them
what they were staring at. And the

521
00:44:01.039 --> 00:44:05.159
first one said, as he scratched
his head with a queer little arm that

522
00:44:05.280 --> 00:44:07.639
reached out of his ear and rasped
its claws and its hair so red,

523
00:44:08.159 --> 00:44:12.559
this is what this little arm is
fur. And he scratched and stared,

524
00:44:12.639 --> 00:44:15.480
And the next one said, how
on earth do you scratch your head?

525
00:44:15.039 --> 00:44:20.079
And he laughed like the screech of
a rusty hinge, laughed and laughed till

526
00:44:20.159 --> 00:44:22.679
his face grew black. And when
he choked with a final twinge of his

527
00:44:22.760 --> 00:44:27.760
stifling laughter. He thumped his back
with a fist that grew on the end

528
00:44:27.800 --> 00:44:30.559
of his tail to the breath came
back to his lips so pale. And

529
00:44:30.719 --> 00:44:35.440
the third little goblin leered round at
me, and there were no lids on

530
00:44:35.559 --> 00:44:37.320
his eyes at all, and he
clucked one eye, and he says,

531
00:44:37.440 --> 00:44:42.039
says, he, what is the
style of your socks this fall? And

532
00:44:42.159 --> 00:44:45.800
he clapped his heels, and I
sighed to see that he had hands where

533
00:44:45.840 --> 00:44:49.760
his feet should be. Then a
bald faced goblin, gray and grim,

534
00:44:50.079 --> 00:44:52.880
bowed his head and I saw him
slip his eyebrows off as I looked at

535
00:44:52.960 --> 00:44:57.480
him, and paced them over his
upper lip. And then he moaned in

536
00:44:57.599 --> 00:45:02.039
remorseful pain wound a would i'd me
rouse again? And then the whole of

537
00:45:02.079 --> 00:45:07.000
the goblin band rocked on the fence
top to and fro and clung in a

538
00:45:07.119 --> 00:45:09.800
long row, hand in hand,
singing the songs that they used to know,

539
00:45:10.719 --> 00:45:15.599
singing the songs that their grandsires sung
in the Goo goo days of the

540
00:45:15.719 --> 00:45:19.559
goblin tongue. Us, Hey,
at least it's no Vaneta, Yeah,

541
00:45:19.639 --> 00:45:22.360
that's true. And ever they kept
their green glass eyes fixed on me with

542
00:45:22.480 --> 00:45:28.119
a stony stare till my own grew
glazed with a dread surmise, and my

543
00:45:28.280 --> 00:45:30.800
hat whooped up on my lifted hair, and I felt the heart in my

544
00:45:30.920 --> 00:45:36.079
breast snapped two as you've heard the
lid of a snuffbox, dude, And

545
00:45:36.239 --> 00:45:38.679
they sang, you're asleep. There
is no board fence, and never a

546
00:45:38.760 --> 00:45:44.840
goblin with green glass eyes. Tis
only a vision that mind in fence after

547
00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:49.320
a supper of cold mince eies.
And you're doomed to dream this way,

548
00:45:49.519 --> 00:45:52.119
they said, And you shan't wake
up to you a clean plum, dad.

549
00:45:59.519 --> 00:46:06.920
That is truly a fever dream.
It really was hands feet oh man.

550
00:46:07.119 --> 00:46:10.800
Now I've heard every I've heard it
all. James Whitcomb, Riley Waito,

551
00:46:10.840 --> 00:46:15.320
great to do it. Lots of
literature with with goblins. Yeah.

552
00:46:15.480 --> 00:46:21.079
The Goblin Market was a lengthy poem
written by Victorian poet Christina Rossetti. I

553
00:46:21.199 --> 00:46:23.840
thought about including that in this Just
too long man, it's just too long

554
00:46:23.920 --> 00:46:27.719
man, too much work. We're
already getting long in the tooth. Yeah,

555
00:46:27.920 --> 00:46:29.760
And we've already, you know,
and we've gone on with some of

556
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:32.920
these other these other sources. You
know, plenty of folk tales, and

557
00:46:34.079 --> 00:46:38.960
stories about tricksy goblins and tricksy Hobbits. I mean Tolkien, for for sake.

558
00:46:39.079 --> 00:46:43.920
There you go, tons of goblins
in that. They feature in all

559
00:46:43.960 --> 00:46:46.280
the big Ones Haunts, Christian Andersen, the Brothers Graham, of course they're

560
00:46:46.320 --> 00:46:50.280
in there. But yeah, Tolkien, I think is what has formed the

561
00:46:50.400 --> 00:46:52.920
basis for the modern goblin. I
think so. I think so too.

562
00:46:52.960 --> 00:46:55.800
You know, it's funny. Actually, just the other night I was watching

563
00:46:55.840 --> 00:47:02.719
The Two Towers because Deathly and He
died plug I will be helping dark Mark

564
00:47:02.800 --> 00:47:08.079
souloff with blaster A podcasts Muff movies. We're doing The Two Towers, which

565
00:47:08.119 --> 00:47:15.519
I think will be out in three
weeks. But I was struck by the

566
00:47:15.800 --> 00:47:21.559
goblins are by far the most terrifying
creatures in that. I think they're way

567
00:47:21.639 --> 00:47:25.880
spookier than the Orcs because they're just
beady eyed and very very just vicious looking,

568
00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:31.039
and they have so many different colorations
and little little bits of metal holding

569
00:47:31.079 --> 00:47:36.519
their heads together. And yeah,
oh man, and the newer Hobbit movies

570
00:47:36.880 --> 00:47:40.159
have the goblins in there, obviously, the scene with the Goblin king in

571
00:47:40.320 --> 00:47:45.480
those, they're very much little little
spinley spidery, little little guys. The

572
00:47:45.599 --> 00:47:51.159
Goblin King made no sense to me
in the Hobbit because it couldn't look any

573
00:47:51.639 --> 00:47:57.239
less like a goblin. Yeah,
it's like all the goblins in it are

574
00:47:57.320 --> 00:48:01.480
like sinewy and lean and tiny and
tiny, and this thing was fat and

575
00:48:01.599 --> 00:48:05.800
job of the huttish. It was
like the size of the what are those

576
00:48:05.880 --> 00:48:09.599
ogres? The trolls mountain trolls?
Is that? Which one are you thinking

577
00:48:09.599 --> 00:48:14.280
of? Because there's the three trolls
that turned to stone? Right? Oh?

578
00:48:14.440 --> 00:48:17.119
Yeah, yeah, but but I'm
talking about the big things that fight.

579
00:48:17.519 --> 00:48:21.079
Yeah, I mean, I don't
know if they're ever identified, always

580
00:48:21.119 --> 00:48:24.960
figured they were ogres. You know
what's what's killing me right now is I

581
00:48:25.039 --> 00:48:30.280
can't get Harry Potter out of my
head with the mountain troll that comes,

582
00:48:30.800 --> 00:48:32.360
Like I keep that keeps popping in
my head. Are there? Because there's

583
00:48:32.400 --> 00:48:37.000
the three Maybe those are ogres that
turned to stone. No, I think

584
00:48:37.039 --> 00:48:40.559
those are trolls. I think you're
right about that. But yeah, the

585
00:48:40.840 --> 00:48:45.440
in the first the Fellowship of the
Ring, Yeah, he well, yeah,

586
00:48:45.639 --> 00:48:49.840
anyways, Nerd nerding out and I
mean and and Tolkeen. From there,

587
00:48:49.880 --> 00:48:54.239
it's a hop skipping a jump to
uh Gary guy, GaX and in

588
00:48:54.519 --> 00:48:59.519
Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah, all
of wizards, Wizards of the Coast over

589
00:48:59.599 --> 00:49:01.360
Magic the Gathering. I mean,
one of my good friends in high school,

590
00:49:01.480 --> 00:49:07.159
like swore by a goblin deck.
Like he he made it his mission

591
00:49:07.239 --> 00:49:09.719
to create the ultimate Goblin deck.
You know how how people do you know,

592
00:49:09.840 --> 00:49:14.360
you have different builds and stuff.
But yeah, he totally went and

593
00:49:14.400 --> 00:49:16.639
got the Goblin King. And was
that Magic the Gathering. Yeah, yeah,

594
00:49:16.760 --> 00:49:20.159
that's what That's what I'm talking about. I think I might even have

595
00:49:20.239 --> 00:49:22.880
a Goblin deck myself, but I
just my heart was never into the goblins.

596
00:49:23.119 --> 00:49:29.639
You were just a tourist. I
made an elf deck, I yeah,

597
00:49:29.719 --> 00:49:32.920
you know, and it's all of
the it's one of like the top

598
00:49:34.079 --> 00:49:37.840
villains. I mean, if you've
got a real classic fantasy story, there's

599
00:49:37.840 --> 00:49:40.400
going to be a dragon, there's
going to be an arc. There's gonna

600
00:49:40.400 --> 00:49:44.679
be a goblin. Yeah, you're
you're easy fodder. Is is goblin?

601
00:49:44.840 --> 00:49:46.880
Yeah? And of course, of
course, as we have referenced at the

602
00:49:46.960 --> 00:49:52.719
beginning the old Classic Labyrinth. Oh
did we I don't remember. Oh,

603
00:49:52.800 --> 00:49:58.360
I guess we didn't talk about that, dude. Now, one thing,

604
00:49:58.360 --> 00:50:00.760
I thought it'd be fun to throw
in here. You heard of a goblin

605
00:50:00.800 --> 00:50:02.760
shark? Have you ever heard?
Oh? Yeah, yeah, But I

606
00:50:02.880 --> 00:50:06.880
mean all sharks can kind of like
launch their jaws for it, but a

607
00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:09.559
goblin shark, oh my god,
like a full foot it feels like the

608
00:50:09.880 --> 00:50:15.280
Oh yeah, they're spooky. This
it's an ugly assid deep sea shark whose

609
00:50:15.400 --> 00:50:20.119
name is a translation of its old
Japanese name, Tingu Zame, and of

610
00:50:20.199 --> 00:50:22.920
course Tingu you know, as we
said, it was considered a goblin early

611
00:50:23.000 --> 00:50:28.239
on. But yeah, it's got
kind of like this flat sword like projection

612
00:50:28.320 --> 00:50:31.840
coming out the top of its skull, and then its mouth is underneath,

613
00:50:32.079 --> 00:50:37.880
and it's kind of like it's like
a car port on a house and the

614
00:50:37.119 --> 00:50:42.480
jaws are the car. It just
comes zooms out. Yeah, it's just

615
00:50:42.719 --> 00:50:45.679
all spointy teeth and it just launches
out. It's like a separate fucking thing

616
00:50:45.800 --> 00:50:50.519
from the shark. This it's jaws
and teeth. It's it's hell thusting.

617
00:50:50.880 --> 00:50:54.639
I hate fish with teeth. They're
just grossish, have teeth. I hate

618
00:50:54.679 --> 00:51:00.440
them, hate them all all.
I don't friminate. Let's talk about some

619
00:51:00.840 --> 00:51:04.320
some modern goblin encounters. What we
got where we're Yeah, let's get to

620
00:51:04.360 --> 00:51:07.159
some of these rights things that Brooks. Yeah, and I'll tell you what,

621
00:51:07.280 --> 00:51:10.519
brook thank you so much for all
those awesome links and what they what

622
00:51:10.679 --> 00:51:14.880
they If you want to put all
these in one pot, the pot is

623
00:51:14.960 --> 00:51:22.760
called Central Africa is really into goblins
and they are fucking up everything. Boca

624
00:51:22.800 --> 00:51:29.440
Haram might entirely be made up of
goblins. Every single story is uh Goblins

625
00:51:29.519 --> 00:51:34.039
stopped a school from they had a
shutdown school because of goblin assault. Local

626
00:51:34.119 --> 00:51:37.639
women are getting impregnated by goblins at
night. Goblins telling God, you know,

627
00:51:37.920 --> 00:51:42.159
telling guys they have to leave their
wives so that the goblins can have

628
00:51:42.280 --> 00:51:45.719
them a lot of goblin action all
right. Here, here's a great one

629
00:51:45.760 --> 00:51:51.840
that Brooks sent us. Goblins terrorize
in Yathi villagers. Goblins have allegedly been

630
00:51:51.920 --> 00:51:57.199
terrorizing villagers in Dromo Land Village eight
in in Yathi, which which is in

631
00:51:57.559 --> 00:52:01.880
uh Nigeria, where they are alleged
to may thunder like noises at their homesteads

632
00:52:01.920 --> 00:52:07.599
at night. Somebody taking thunder sounds
because I will sue a goblin. I've

633
00:52:07.639 --> 00:52:10.599
seen green guts. They've got money, well, that means they can hire

634
00:52:10.679 --> 00:52:16.960
good goblin law. The goblins are
also alleged to turn into spiritual husbands and

635
00:52:17.119 --> 00:52:22.280
sleep with female villagers. By the
way, spiritual Husbands is the name of

636
00:52:22.320 --> 00:52:30.320
our next R and B band,
Good Leaving Ladies. My name's Dave Stecko

637
00:52:30.320 --> 00:52:39.960
with me as always David Flow,
and we are spirituals yea, thanks for

638
00:52:40.039 --> 00:52:47.119
coming out. That can be our
two thousand dollars market. Yeah, there

639
00:52:47.159 --> 00:52:53.280
you go, our R and B
album Spiritual. By the time we get

640
00:52:53.320 --> 00:53:00.800
that done, we'll be literal husbands. So, uh, I just want

641
00:53:00.840 --> 00:53:06.280
to make a real quick observation here. Doesn't seem like all these African tales

642
00:53:06.400 --> 00:53:14.519
of witchcraft and voodoo and goblins and
whatnot creatures they're all sexual based or like

643
00:53:14.719 --> 00:53:17.239
rape. Well, I mean we
talked about this before. There's um the

644
00:53:19.199 --> 00:53:23.199
cultural psychosis, a penis theft,
Yeah, penis theft, penis wizards and

645
00:53:23.280 --> 00:53:29.960
things like that. But yeah,
these there definitely is like a very sexual

646
00:53:30.159 --> 00:53:34.679
component to it. In some of
these accounts, the goblins aren't actually raping

647
00:53:34.719 --> 00:53:38.480
women, but they're giving them sex
dreams or they're yeah, and they're they're

648
00:53:38.599 --> 00:53:44.679
messing with the family dynamic. They're
interceding between husband and wife. They're they're

649
00:53:44.760 --> 00:53:49.519
really they're really in it for the
sweet sweet sex um. They're not like

650
00:53:50.239 --> 00:53:55.199
whimsical pranksters, like like European guys, all right. In an article from

651
00:53:55.239 --> 00:54:00.679
twenty fourteen, this comes to us
from Zimbabwe, the Ministry of Primary and

652
00:54:00.800 --> 00:54:08.360
Secondary Education has transferred fifteen senior teachers
and their headmistress from Nagababi Primary School in

653
00:54:08.519 --> 00:54:14.519
deep following a fallout with the community
over the issue of goblins that are alleged

654
00:54:14.559 --> 00:54:19.599
to have terrorized them. I keep
imagining like a cross between a witch trial

655
00:54:19.679 --> 00:54:23.519
and a PTA meeting. Oh wow, and it's it's great. It's I

656
00:54:23.559 --> 00:54:27.599
mean, it really is. It's
like they're it's like they're describing like a

657
00:54:28.199 --> 00:54:31.199
raccoon problem in a school. Yeah. Yeah, I guess people in the

658
00:54:31.320 --> 00:54:37.039
village actually got together and wanted them
to remove the teachers from the school because

659
00:54:37.079 --> 00:54:42.239
they thought maybe the teachers were faking
that goblins were running amuck. Yeah that

660
00:54:42.440 --> 00:54:45.400
that somehow seems like maybe that's what
was going on. But one of the

661
00:54:45.480 --> 00:54:50.719
teachers who spoke to the interviewers said, at one point, we heard children

662
00:54:50.800 --> 00:54:53.480
crying outside and we warned each other
not to go outside. Is we didn't

663
00:54:53.480 --> 00:54:58.519
know what was happening, especially when
movements could be heard on the rooftops of

664
00:54:58.559 --> 00:55:02.119
the cottages. They've got a Kelly
Hopkinsville, they really do. Yeah,

665
00:55:02.159 --> 00:55:06.039
they just got the shotguns. Uh. You know what one thing I liked

666
00:55:06.039 --> 00:55:10.559
about this story is um there is
the quote from the Progressive Teachers Union of

667
00:55:10.679 --> 00:55:19.320
Zimbabwe Matabeleland North provincial coordinator whose name
is never nuan Zavi, first name never

668
00:55:20.519 --> 00:55:23.719
said and I just love I would
love to be like to hear the quote

669
00:55:23.760 --> 00:55:29.440
because I hope that there was like
a exasperated resignation. Uh. And he

670
00:55:29.559 --> 00:55:34.239
said it was unfortunate that the root
cause of the goblins issue was not addressed

671
00:55:34.559 --> 00:55:37.800
and to accuse the community elders of
judging teachers based on failure to attend the

672
00:55:37.880 --> 00:55:44.920
chiefs meeting and not a issue.
The issue at hand is goblins. And

673
00:55:45.039 --> 00:55:49.320
I'm tired of the spin cycle.
I'm tired of the whitewashing. I'm tired

674
00:55:49.360 --> 00:55:52.039
of the lies. I want to
get to the root of it. There

675
00:55:52.079 --> 00:55:57.559
are goblins in our schools. No
one's doing anything about it. Whistleblowers.

676
00:55:57.639 --> 00:56:02.039
This is this is a political attack
based don teachers, educators who are fearing

677
00:56:02.119 --> 00:56:07.880
for their lives. They don't want
their family members, the village media trying

678
00:56:07.920 --> 00:56:10.559
to say, these guys didn't show
up to their meetings. They're too busy

679
00:56:10.639 --> 00:56:15.119
fighting goblins. Of course they didn't
go to the chiefs meeting. They can't

680
00:56:15.159 --> 00:56:17.480
even leave the school for fear of
all the noise on the roof and the

681
00:56:17.599 --> 00:56:22.599
children crying. Buy some of my
supplemental zebra pellets. That's right, it's

682
00:56:22.719 --> 00:56:25.039
terrible. But like we said,
these poor people in these villages in the

683
00:56:25.199 --> 00:56:30.519
and they they get worked up over
what they consider witchcraft, the mass hysteria

684
00:56:30.599 --> 00:56:35.400
going there. Yeah, which is
a little bit ironic. Don't you think,

685
00:56:35.639 --> 00:56:37.639
No, I'm not gonna sing the
album why not a good little pill?

686
00:56:37.719 --> 00:56:40.719
Why? Why aren't Why aren't you
to think that this is happening in

687
00:56:40.760 --> 00:56:45.400
a school. You'd think the one
place where you would kind of fight the

688
00:56:45.639 --> 00:56:51.360
uh, the mass hysteria and the
witchcraft. Spread of witchcraft thoughts. Anyway,

689
00:56:51.599 --> 00:56:52.840
all right, let's get down some
of these other things. These are

690
00:56:52.880 --> 00:56:58.360
the great things. Uh, Goblin's
overpower, traditional healer, Goblin's order men

691
00:56:58.400 --> 00:57:06.519
to surrender wives. It's just the
How about A regional politician name Fumi denied

692
00:57:06.599 --> 00:57:09.039
that goblins had been found on his
home premises. No, no, no

693
00:57:10.119 --> 00:57:19.079
goblins terrorizing at the village Goblins suspected
goblin's force closure of Nickhaigh School, mass

694
00:57:19.119 --> 00:57:23.800
transfers of teachers of goblins, drama
as women threatens to kill sik Mutanda over

695
00:57:23.960 --> 00:57:29.159
goblin. Yes, there's gonna be
some drama there. Girls at Zimbabwe school

696
00:57:29.159 --> 00:57:34.880
attacked by goblins. Goblins hunt village
heads over food aid. Notorious crow Day

697
00:57:34.960 --> 00:57:39.239
Park Goblin has finally been exercised.
Weary Zimbo's turned to goblins for cash,

698
00:57:42.760 --> 00:57:49.039
bring your old, unused goblins and
goblins for goblins. I just can't help

699
00:57:49.079 --> 00:57:54.960
but think is it a cultural thing
that when women are sexually abused that it

700
00:57:55.119 --> 00:58:00.679
turns into some sort of fantastical thing. Is it that they don't want to

701
00:58:00.719 --> 00:58:06.159
face the fact that that the men
are doing this to them? I don't

702
00:58:06.199 --> 00:58:10.599
know. I think that there is
um and I'm literally just pulling things out

703
00:58:10.599 --> 00:58:15.360
of thin air. But um,
considering you know, the the the sexual

704
00:58:15.519 --> 00:58:21.880
climate in Central Africa, it is
for the most part very conservative. But

705
00:58:22.079 --> 00:58:25.039
having said that, they have rampant
HIV there's a huge problem with that.

706
00:58:25.360 --> 00:58:32.000
There's a lot of extra emotional weight
and baggage to issues of sex and yeah,

707
00:58:32.840 --> 00:58:36.960
and how that gets dealt with.
And I'm sure, there's I wonder

708
00:58:37.039 --> 00:58:40.800
how often the goblins come up as
a is a way for people who are

709
00:58:40.880 --> 00:58:45.400
having not sexual necessarily, but any
relationship problems, problems in the marriage,

710
00:58:46.039 --> 00:58:50.280
um, you know, arguing,
fighting. Oh well, it's not that

711
00:58:50.440 --> 00:58:53.639
I'm being an atoll or you're you're
not listening or whatever it is. It's

712
00:58:53.679 --> 00:58:58.320
that god damn goblin. Yeah,
you know, it's yeah, you know,

713
00:58:58.440 --> 00:59:00.639
I and I'm maybe all through maybe
none of the above. I don't

714
00:59:00.679 --> 00:59:07.119
know, but there's yeah, there's
there's the cultural safety valve. There,

715
00:59:07.159 --> 00:59:10.960
there's there's something about everyone's willing to
accept goblins as the source of a problem.

716
00:59:12.639 --> 00:59:14.920
It's an area I don't know a
lot of it. And here's another

717
00:59:15.079 --> 00:59:17.440
very important thing to say that really
just crossed my mind when I say,

718
00:59:17.920 --> 00:59:22.719
uh, for all problems, I
mean, this is a handful of very

719
00:59:22.840 --> 00:59:28.760
clearly cherry picked articles because yeah,
the episodes about goblins. You know,

720
00:59:28.880 --> 00:59:32.239
it's like, if I could I
could find five six articles about leprecons across

721
00:59:32.280 --> 00:59:36.280
the United States. That doesn't mean
that. I mean, it's not as

722
00:59:36.320 --> 00:59:38.800
though everyone in the United States is
running around screaming leper con. Oh you

723
00:59:38.880 --> 00:59:43.519
know, true, you know,
it's it's we're talking about an entire section

724
00:59:43.599 --> 00:59:45.599
of a giant continent. So by
no means are we saying, oh,

725
00:59:45.679 --> 00:59:50.199
everyone's running around freaking out about goblins. No, that's not true. But

726
00:59:50.719 --> 00:59:54.679
it does exist at a higher propensity
than virtually anywhere else on Earth. And

727
00:59:55.159 --> 00:59:59.880
you know, people in the United
States blamed demons and angels for things.

728
01:00:00.519 --> 01:00:02.440
It's it's your regional thing, you
know. And it certainly doesn't mean that,

729
01:00:04.119 --> 01:00:07.480
you know, everyone you know is
blaming demons and angels for things happening.

730
01:00:07.559 --> 01:00:10.880
But you certainly could find a note
end of stories. There's entire publications

731
01:00:10.920 --> 01:00:17.199
and magazines devoted to stories in which
angels and or demons have improved or with

732
01:00:17.360 --> 01:00:21.639
somebody's life. You know, I
would say that we are far more further

733
01:00:21.719 --> 01:00:24.559
down that scale than they are.
A breath of levity from Dave Stecko.

734
01:00:25.280 --> 01:00:30.559
Thank you for that perspective, Dave, I totally agree. I think that's

735
01:00:30.559 --> 01:00:34.079
a great point. Well. I
on that note, I think that I

736
01:00:34.159 --> 01:00:37.880
think we should just stop talking.
I think we should wrap up goblins in

737
01:00:38.039 --> 01:00:45.920
a jagged, filthy, ugly,
warty, green skinned needling. Yeah.

738
01:00:45.599 --> 01:00:49.719
I like that. Who hates it
when you beat children and graveyards? Apparently?

739
01:00:49.920 --> 01:00:52.000
Yeah? God you know what else
we need to clunk over the head

740
01:00:52.039 --> 01:01:05.320
with a lantern six or seven times. Well, it's that puns. All

741
01:01:05.400 --> 01:01:07.440
right, who's going to take the
first bite? You go for it?

742
01:01:07.760 --> 01:01:12.360
Okay, all right, right,
okay, Well, Dave, you know

743
01:01:12.519 --> 01:01:16.519
that there's a lot of mischievous little
edible creatures that inhabit farmer's fields. Have

744
01:01:16.599 --> 01:01:20.400
you heard of these things? No? If you catch them and take off

745
01:01:20.440 --> 01:01:23.519
their thin husks, you could eat
the corn on the coblins. Oh nice?

746
01:01:24.360 --> 01:01:31.920
Oh dirty puns done dirt cheap.
You know. There's another kind of

747
01:01:32.199 --> 01:01:37.199
um goblin, sort of an offshoot, a subspecies, and they're just filthy.

748
01:01:37.599 --> 01:01:43.119
They don't flush the toilet when they're
done. They walk around with food

749
01:01:43.239 --> 01:01:50.280
stains on their clothes. They leave
just empty cereal bowls everywhere, pizza boxes.

750
01:01:50.800 --> 01:01:58.440
They they don't do their laundry.
Slob goblins. Sloblins. Sloblins Like

751
01:01:58.920 --> 01:02:00.280
I've got any business for are you? Oh? Yeah, it's a hot

752
01:02:00.400 --> 01:02:04.519
chocolate boutique. Oh I like hot
chocolate. I know you like that.

753
01:02:05.360 --> 01:02:08.760
It's uh, this one's actually underground. You have to go down underground to

754
01:02:08.880 --> 01:02:12.960
it, and all the fixtures,
the tables and the chairs, they're all

755
01:02:13.000 --> 01:02:23.800
made of cobalt. It's called coco
bold nice. Oh that's funny. You

756
01:02:23.840 --> 01:02:29.679
should mention that because there was in
the early eighties there was a very brief

757
01:02:30.880 --> 01:02:36.639
there was a cartoon slash toy craze
centered around creatures of folklore that would not

758
01:02:36.760 --> 01:02:42.480
only live in deep minds, but
they could also change their shape into race

759
01:02:42.599 --> 01:02:49.159
cars or jet planes or anything.
They were the go bolts. I always

760
01:02:49.239 --> 01:02:52.199
like the gobots. Those were my
go too, because transformers, I think

761
01:02:52.239 --> 01:03:01.719
we're too expensive, peasant listen.
I in my elementary here's the funny thing,

762
01:03:01.800 --> 01:03:07.000
Like, uh, in retrospect,
everyone realized the supremacy of transformers over

763
01:03:07.079 --> 01:03:08.920
gobots, which when you really,
if you go back, like look him

764
01:03:08.960 --> 01:03:14.039
up on non Google sometimes, like
gobots were pretty fucking lame. They just

765
01:03:14.519 --> 01:03:19.000
they were as good as built as
well. Sure, but a couple of

766
01:03:19.079 --> 01:03:22.480
fun things. The leader of the
enemy gobots, SI Kill, which was

767
01:03:22.559 --> 01:03:28.719
pretty great. But the best gobot, and I remember this so distinctly from

768
01:03:28.760 --> 01:03:32.960
elementary school, was like this mystical
unicorn that no one could ever get because

769
01:03:34.400 --> 01:03:37.719
most of the gobots they just made
lame shit like an ambulance. Yeah.

770
01:03:37.960 --> 01:03:43.639
Like, and there was one really
awesome murder thing. It was a it

771
01:03:43.800 --> 01:03:47.920
was an F fifteen fighter jet and
it was like the leader of the gobots

772
01:03:49.679 --> 01:03:52.079
and his name was Leader one.
And I remember this because no one could.

773
01:03:52.159 --> 01:03:57.480
You could never find Leader one store. And one kid who was actually

774
01:03:57.559 --> 01:04:00.079
Kenyan at my elementary school's name was
Asa Kabazi. I don't know, like

775
01:04:00.239 --> 01:04:05.480
maybe I shouldn't say his whole name. Who cares? Asa had Leader one

776
01:04:05.840 --> 01:04:09.679
And when he brought that to school
for show and tell, it was a

777
01:04:09.800 --> 01:04:15.360
genuine like oh, like everyone's like
could I hold it? And he would

778
01:04:15.400 --> 01:04:19.719
like really, lord it of me? Like mmmm, okay, there's a

779
01:04:19.800 --> 01:04:27.000
big deal when somebody had Leader one. Diaggressions them's puns and puns. Yeah,

780
01:04:27.440 --> 01:04:31.480
well now we get to uh,
we get to step up from our

781
01:04:31.559 --> 01:04:42.639
cheaply made puns to the more expensive
and interchangeable form of new machines and the

782
01:04:51.239 --> 01:05:01.719
listener mail more than we can read
listeners wags there battle to destroy the ignorant

783
01:05:02.000 --> 01:05:14.519
forces, Dave and David kicking it
off New Listener Lawrence writer well sure sympathize,

784
01:05:14.760 --> 01:05:17.440
sympathizes with us about all the weird
Feedbacker getting on the flat Earth episode,

785
01:05:17.440 --> 01:05:23.039
which I really enjoyed, and talks
about that you can. The Bedford

786
01:05:23.159 --> 01:05:28.559
level experiments, which we even talked
about, actually did have some false readings,

787
01:05:28.599 --> 01:05:31.440
but that did show that the earth
is curved and it's testable and repeatable.

788
01:05:32.079 --> 01:05:34.440
Also, if the south pole is
an ice wall, then surely it

789
01:05:34.480 --> 01:05:39.280
would take longer to sail around the
south pole than it would sail around that

790
01:05:40.079 --> 01:05:44.119
point. That is a great point, right, wouldn't that be wouldn't you

791
01:05:44.159 --> 01:05:46.360
think that would be the case.
Yeah, I mean, if you think

792
01:05:46.360 --> 01:05:51.159
about a record, a vinyl record, the little hole in the middle being

793
01:05:51.199 --> 01:05:56.840
the north pole, how you put
your finger around it, just encircle the

794
01:05:56.880 --> 01:06:00.320
whole and then go down to the
outer edge of the record. Yeah,

795
01:06:00.679 --> 01:06:03.480
you know. And and how does
that figure in? Well, it doesn't,

796
01:06:03.480 --> 01:06:08.360
the kid because nobody does. That
also recommended that we might enjoy the

797
01:06:08.440 --> 01:06:13.159
parapod. Okay, yeah, so
it's uh one skeptical and was one ghost

798
01:06:13.239 --> 01:06:17.159
hunter both comedians. What Yeah,
I feel like they're stepping on our son.

799
01:06:19.559 --> 01:06:21.800
No, that sounds awesome. Thank
you, Lawrence, Thank you,

800
01:06:21.880 --> 01:06:27.280
Lawrence Dave. We've heard from Maxi
Lou Oh hello Maxie Hot, Maxalu,

801
01:06:27.639 --> 01:06:31.599
you bastards. She wrote, I
recently discovered your podcast and have since lost

802
01:06:31.719 --> 01:06:34.679
all my reading, TV, gaming
time trying to catch up. Oh,

803
01:06:34.840 --> 01:06:40.679
don't give up gaming, listen to
us while you uh go craft minds.

804
01:06:40.880 --> 01:06:44.880
Oh yeah, that's that's a that's
quality podcast times when I when I try

805
01:06:44.920 --> 01:06:47.960
to listen to something, though when
I'm playing, I retain zero. I

806
01:06:48.039 --> 01:06:53.360
don't I'm so focused in building my
stupid ass cobblestone structures. I you know

807
01:06:53.400 --> 01:06:56.639
what I listened to, or I'll
bring up like I've been on a real

808
01:06:56.960 --> 01:07:00.920
run lately of listening to to my
mind when I class comedian bits like Eddie

809
01:07:01.000 --> 01:07:06.199
Murphy raw, or I've been listening
to a ton of George Carlin lately.

810
01:07:06.320 --> 01:07:10.519
Beautiful. Yeah, it's it's awesome, she says. To make matters worse,

811
01:07:10.559 --> 01:07:15.000
I now find myself thinking in puns. Nice. My quality of life

812
01:07:15.039 --> 01:07:18.159
has decreased remarkably, and yet like
a junkie, I can't quite manage to

813
01:07:18.199 --> 01:07:21.960
walk away. She says. She
grew up in a small town in central

814
01:07:23.079 --> 01:07:28.199
Utah, and Uh, there's a
tradition in the town that if a younger

815
01:07:28.280 --> 01:07:31.519
brother gets married before his older brother, the older brother has to dance in

816
01:07:31.599 --> 01:07:36.519
a pig trough at the wedding.
I love it. Yeah, that sounds

817
01:07:36.559 --> 01:07:39.760
awesome. She says, it's a
small town. We have to make our

818
01:07:39.760 --> 01:07:43.519
own entertainment. I believe, Thank
you, Maxie Lou, thank you got

819
01:07:43.559 --> 01:07:50.000
one from Lunar Kiddy, Doo doo. I don't even know what noises making

820
01:07:50.039 --> 01:07:54.239
that it's fun the shark and I
like the sprockets sound that. Yeah,

821
01:07:54.400 --> 01:07:58.440
thank you. Luna Kiddy wants us
to know that for all of the primitive

822
01:07:58.519 --> 01:08:02.519
screw heads, I think that's are
bad luck Miow, Miamaw, you stupid

823
01:08:02.840 --> 01:08:08.800
Miamyow. What the fuck miaw the
Miamiyow? I thought miaw was the beat.

824
01:08:09.239 --> 01:08:14.119
No wrong, No it wasn't.
PS pro tip for me learned from

825
01:08:14.119 --> 01:08:16.880
a true Vulgarian. Learned to insult
with twenty words where only one of five

826
01:08:17.039 --> 01:08:20.640
is a swear word. Luard Kitty
also suggests for low card beer, there's

827
01:08:20.680 --> 01:08:24.840
nothing better than Guinness. Very true, and we certainly made use of that

828
01:08:25.439 --> 01:08:29.560
rum or maybe Eagle Rare, perhaps
some hard cider. I'll drink all of

829
01:08:29.600 --> 01:08:33.159
it because I like to drink,
Thanks Lunard Kitty. I'm not a fan

830
01:08:33.239 --> 01:08:36.279
of cider, really, I'm not. I'm hit or miss some of them.

831
01:08:36.319 --> 01:08:40.079
I don't like some of them,
I really like it's a little too

832
01:08:40.199 --> 01:08:42.640
sweet for me. Yeah, they
run the gambit. You know, they

833
01:08:42.720 --> 01:08:45.960
just opened a cider bar by my
house. Maybe we should go check that

834
01:08:45.039 --> 01:08:48.239
out. Which or maybe if you
just told me you don't like cider,

835
01:08:48.319 --> 01:08:51.439
maybe we should never check that out. Maybe that's the better. I don't

836
01:08:51.479 --> 01:08:56.600
have to fix that problem for yourself. It is okay if you don't like

837
01:08:56.760 --> 01:09:00.079
cider. I don't know why I
just decided to solve that for Jesus,

838
01:09:00.199 --> 01:09:03.279
well, maybe it is a problem. I don't know what kind of awful

839
01:09:03.399 --> 01:09:06.800
person am I. You know what, we'll go to half Acre and drink

840
01:09:06.840 --> 01:09:10.159
beers that we both never been so
I like that. There we go,

841
01:09:11.079 --> 01:09:15.920
when you pass the cat important so
much sighter in your gullet. Who's next?

842
01:09:15.279 --> 01:09:18.279
Well, you're never gonna believe this, Dave. I probably won't.

843
01:09:18.720 --> 01:09:26.279
But we've heard from King Jeremy the
Wicker liar. You're right. I didn't

844
01:09:26.279 --> 01:09:29.279
believe you, And this is what
he right, I would say, Jeremy

845
01:09:29.560 --> 01:09:32.439
roing. He's got some wedding customs. Oh sweet, So that's that's the

846
01:09:32.479 --> 01:09:35.920
point we're up to. We're getting
caught back in two thousand and one,

847
01:09:35.960 --> 01:09:40.479
instead of rice, which we were
told did kill birds. We gave out

848
01:09:40.560 --> 01:09:43.760
little bottles of bubbles, and the
people blew bubbles on us as we walked

849
01:09:43.800 --> 01:09:46.600
out of the ceremony. So passed. Four or five weddings or however many

850
01:09:46.640 --> 01:09:49.600
I've been to, have all been
bubble weddings. Yeah, bubble weddings.

851
01:09:49.840 --> 01:09:53.840
You you and I went to one. Yeah, we did with Kurt Monica

852
01:09:53.920 --> 01:09:58.439
that our friends that and we blew
bubbles. Adam, bubble weddings. Bubble

853
01:09:58.479 --> 01:10:01.399
weddings, get them. Another odd
custom that I did not know about until

854
01:10:01.399 --> 01:10:05.319
the day of was that during the
reception, if people tap on their champagne

855
01:10:05.319 --> 01:10:10.439
glasses with their forks, the bride
and the groom would have to kiss that.

856
01:10:10.600 --> 01:10:14.079
Again, that's something that comes up, and I've seen that. I

857
01:10:14.079 --> 01:10:15.279
always just thought they were like,
come on, do a speech, and

858
01:10:15.319 --> 01:10:19.079
they're like go if I no,
oh no, yeah, when you tap

859
01:10:19.119 --> 01:10:24.319
the glass, they you're you're making
them kiss in front of everybody. That's

860
01:10:24.399 --> 01:10:29.000
weird. It gets old now.
He even says, this kind of got

861
01:10:29.039 --> 01:10:32.479
annoying after fifty times, and so
we slowly just ignored everyone. Yeah,

862
01:10:34.319 --> 01:10:38.159
I'm just gonna scream you're not the
boss of me, and then knock something

863
01:10:38.239 --> 01:10:43.840
over and here's something to the tradition
of the bride and groom not seeing each

864
01:10:43.840 --> 01:10:45.479
other before the wedding. We did
this, and if we could do it

865
01:10:45.560 --> 01:10:48.920
again, we would not do it. We were both excited, nervous and

866
01:10:48.960 --> 01:10:53.119
anxious and want to share as much
of the experience with each other as we

867
01:10:53.199 --> 01:10:57.640
could. Regrets the hardest thing to
live with. Oh that's our podcast.

868
01:10:57.800 --> 01:11:01.840
There's congratulations and good luck to us. Thank you well, I can I

869
01:11:01.880 --> 01:11:05.439
can play this game too. Got
one from James the Skeptical Oki. Hey

870
01:11:05.560 --> 01:11:10.319
James, he writes, congratulations on
our upcoming dual nuptials. Thanks. James

871
01:11:11.000 --> 01:11:15.960
has some other fun traditions in his
family. Two main traditions are alcohol,

872
01:11:16.359 --> 01:11:19.399
you know, get everybody good and
drunk, and then a shotgun to keep

873
01:11:19.479 --> 01:11:25.399
him there, which I enjoy.
Another tradition he's seen a few times is

874
01:11:25.439 --> 01:11:30.600
where the wrists are bound with a
ribbon or a fancy rope to signify the

875
01:11:30.760 --> 01:11:33.840
unity. The binding could be a
Celtic tradition. Now. When James and

876
01:11:33.960 --> 01:11:40.039
his lovely wife were married, they
received a pair of Korean wedding ducks.

877
01:11:41.319 --> 01:11:45.680
Might Yeah, the female has a
string tied around the bill. Yeah,

878
01:11:46.359 --> 01:11:50.399
that's it. That's right. Exactly
it's and he writes, and by the

879
01:11:50.479 --> 01:11:54.680
way, Stecco, you sounded worried
about your life now consisting of being told

880
01:11:54.720 --> 01:11:58.079
what to do. I am embrace
being told what to do. I like

881
01:11:58.199 --> 01:12:01.199
to follow directions. Yeah, I
get that, I understand that. Don't

882
01:12:01.239 --> 01:12:04.560
worry. An interesting side effective marriages, the males tend to develop a condition

883
01:12:04.640 --> 01:12:12.720
known as selective hearing. Nice.
Uh, yeah, I I I just

884
01:12:12.800 --> 01:12:14.479
can't wait to get married. I
just want to get it. I just

885
01:12:14.560 --> 01:12:16.079
want to get done, and I'm
looking forward to it, excited about it.

886
01:12:18.840 --> 01:12:21.399
So thank you, James, Thank
you, James. Big shout out

887
01:12:21.439 --> 01:12:24.560
to James's son, Hey, buddy, how's it going. I hope you're

888
01:12:24.600 --> 01:12:30.119
excited for Captain America Civil War shout
outs, high fives, hard dive boy.

889
01:12:30.359 --> 01:12:36.880
We're hard from, is it not, which is different from Lepershan,

890
01:12:38.000 --> 01:12:40.800
which we feel very bad for.
Yeah, I'm sorry, Lepershan. I'll

891
01:12:40.880 --> 01:12:46.600
never make that mistake. I hope
you found your nose. Oh no,

892
01:12:47.279 --> 01:12:54.359
the Lepershan says, recently found us
via expanded perspectives, and he's enjoying it.

893
01:12:54.640 --> 01:12:58.239
Uh and and mentions me losing my
ship in the flat earth. Love

894
01:12:58.319 --> 01:13:01.159
it? Oh and and interest of
full disclosure. He says he's carried a

895
01:13:01.199 --> 01:13:05.359
deep, dark bias against all things
pun for most of his life. Can't

896
01:13:05.399 --> 01:13:11.319
blame him and cheese. I hope
it isn't grounds for expulsion from the club.

897
01:13:11.399 --> 01:13:13.640
No, it's not not at all. But we have made him laugh

898
01:13:13.680 --> 01:13:16.079
with the couple, so perhaps there
is hope after all. A So,

899
01:13:16.680 --> 01:13:20.960
with that said, he's gonna he's
gonna load up. He's gonna load up

900
01:13:21.000 --> 01:13:26.479
the old shotgun and tell us to
pool nice. There's a small but growing

901
01:13:26.720 --> 01:13:30.680
group of hyper smart individuals that have
seen past NASA's lies and deceit, thank

902
01:13:30.760 --> 01:13:35.000
god, and have discovered the truth
that the Earth is indeed flat. Have

903
01:13:35.119 --> 01:13:41.479
you heard of these people? No, they're called asoles. Yes, that's

904
01:13:41.960 --> 01:13:45.600
inglorious. That's a top ten that
is this guy came out of the gates

905
01:13:45.840 --> 01:13:49.279
swinging hard. That is a top
ten career pun right there, he says,

906
01:13:49.560 --> 01:13:51.800
No, don't think I did that? Right? Oh well yeah,

907
01:13:53.000 --> 01:13:56.279
not mad Nope, still a good
joke. That's great, that's great.

908
01:13:56.640 --> 01:14:05.399
Thank you. We've got an email
here from k B who will be henceforth

909
01:14:05.520 --> 01:14:15.840
known as Pandora. Oh, Pandora
rights, Hey, guys, just listening

910
01:14:15.399 --> 01:14:20.039
finished listening to Hendrik Kaife murder episode
truly mysterious and disturbing in a number of

911
01:14:20.079 --> 01:14:24.520
ways. But I can't help but
equate it to a similar set of murders

912
01:14:24.560 --> 01:14:28.560
here in the US, which I
think that Pandora's playing catch up. I

913
01:14:28.600 --> 01:14:32.359
think she's said in here she's fifty
six episodes behind, so I think this

914
01:14:32.439 --> 01:14:39.239
will come up later. But she
mentions the Valiska Iowa Ax murders, the

915
01:14:39.479 --> 01:14:42.600
bludgeoning. You know, we have
the house, yeah, the murder house,

916
01:14:43.319 --> 01:14:45.600
which we have talked about. I
believe it's International Haunts and Pancakes.

917
01:14:45.760 --> 01:14:49.039
That's it, International Haunts and Pancakes. Yes, we've got that on there.

918
01:14:49.079 --> 01:14:55.239
That is in my betrothed's home state
of Ia, which someday I would

919
01:14:55.239 --> 01:14:58.600
like to visit and check it out
for myself, So thank you very much.

920
01:14:58.600 --> 01:15:00.720
But yes we do. We actually
you scratch that particular itch, not

921
01:15:00.840 --> 01:15:06.159
a whole episode. Yeah, just
a little little in there, and uh,

922
01:15:08.039 --> 01:15:09.960
you know, just a little bump, just a quick just a quick

923
01:15:10.000 --> 01:15:13.760
hit to get you through the work, just a quick oh yeah, not

924
01:15:14.319 --> 01:15:17.520
like a full rail. Yeah.
But Pandora writes having a great time going

925
01:15:17.560 --> 01:15:20.720
through the back catalog and only have
fifty six more episodes to be caught up

926
01:15:21.239 --> 01:15:25.680
who, she says, thanks for
all the great work, especially the one

927
01:15:25.760 --> 01:15:30.600
hundredth episode. Yeah, those Chrono
Knots, they're squarely. I'm mentioned to

928
01:15:30.640 --> 01:15:32.399
get get back to some me too. I think we should start working on

929
01:15:32.439 --> 01:15:35.720
it now so it's not such a
gigantic project when the time comes. Yeah,

930
01:15:36.000 --> 01:15:39.239
now that our break is over,
we have so much more time.

931
01:15:40.479 --> 01:15:45.800
Plus, if if you look on
the old Patreon yeah pledge levels, you

932
01:15:45.920 --> 01:15:50.000
could subscribe and maybe get a Corona
Knots episode here or there a month way

933
01:15:50.039 --> 01:15:54.640
to work it in there. Thank
you, Pandora, Thank you Pandora.

934
01:15:55.039 --> 01:16:01.479
And finally Dave Ye heard from a
friend of the podcast Amy him, why

935
01:16:01.600 --> 01:16:05.000
you gotta be some mean. We
don't know where that came from. We

936
01:16:05.159 --> 01:16:08.239
literally made it up, Amy,
because I heard it from Dave, and

937
01:16:08.319 --> 01:16:10.920
Dave he claims he heard it from
me. Right. She says, this

938
01:16:11.119 --> 01:16:14.520
happened recently, thought she chaired.
We have a medium security prison here,

939
01:16:14.840 --> 01:16:17.199
and I guess there was some kind
of audition for a new reality show.

940
01:16:18.079 --> 01:16:20.399
I didn't get all the details,
but a friend of mine who was working

941
01:16:20.439 --> 01:16:25.079
with the production company said that they
had all the cameras and lights set up

942
01:16:25.119 --> 01:16:28.760
and we're ready to go. When
they discovered that the scripts they'd brought with

943
01:16:28.920 --> 01:16:31.319
them were for a Downton Abbey knockoff. Oh no, yeah, it was

944
01:16:31.359 --> 01:16:43.039
a twenty sixteen miss scripted contest,
scripted con test. Well play, thank

945
01:16:43.079 --> 01:16:45.479
you, I'm here all week.
Try the veal, which is also a

946
01:16:45.560 --> 01:16:49.279
pretty good warning to everybody. We're
just just over a month away. Just

947
01:16:49.439 --> 01:16:58.199
a month away. We're exactly a
month away, twenty sixteen, which I

948
01:16:58.279 --> 01:17:00.239
think I think we should probably just
start singing that on our own because we're

949
01:17:00.239 --> 01:17:03.359
gonna get in trouble. Yeah,
we're gonna have to gonna have to put

950
01:17:03.399 --> 01:17:06.760
the kai bosh on that and figure
out some way around such a great song.

951
01:17:06.880 --> 01:17:10.439
But I think we could do it. Yeah, we'll figure it out.

952
01:17:10.439 --> 01:17:13.279
We're very clever. But thank you
Amy for writing in, and thank

953
01:17:13.359 --> 01:17:15.880
all of you for writing in.
Please continue to do so where you we

954
01:17:15.079 --> 01:17:17.920
continue to read them. How's that
for a deal? That's true, all

955
01:17:17.960 --> 01:17:20.239
of it, not a word of
it a lie. Yeah, go to

956
01:17:20.680 --> 01:17:23.600
if you got a second here,
and if you don't, make one,

957
01:17:24.239 --> 01:17:28.560
Facebook like us, if you haven't. Yep, we're we're almost at eleven

958
01:17:28.760 --> 01:17:31.880
Thildos eleven Hildo. I don't know. We're like eleven eleven, Hildore,

959
01:17:31.960 --> 01:17:36.199
like a thousand and a half eleven
Yeah, eleven, Hildo. I think,

960
01:17:36.359 --> 01:17:39.920
Yeah, we're doing great. Um, we are. We are still

961
01:17:40.039 --> 01:17:42.840
just we've got so much beat.
I want to keep that going because don't

962
01:17:42.880 --> 01:17:46.520
forget. I want to, um
smugly inform my company that we have more

963
01:17:46.600 --> 01:17:49.680
likes than them. It's something I've
looked forward to a very very long time.

964
01:17:50.279 --> 01:17:54.720
Very thank you. Thank everybody who's
gone out and spread the gospel,

965
01:17:54.840 --> 01:17:57.680
told their friends, told their neighbors, told the the ups. Guy.

966
01:17:58.880 --> 01:18:01.159
Um, we really I appreciate that. Go to Twitter, follow us on

967
01:18:01.279 --> 01:18:06.319
blurry underscore photos. Yes there's always
audible trial dot com, slash blurry photos

968
01:18:06.399 --> 01:18:10.840
to yourself free book, free book, and give us a high five without

969
01:18:10.880 --> 01:18:13.439
even having to do anything. Yeah
it's easy. That's the best part.

970
01:18:13.600 --> 01:18:17.560
I'm onto the drawing of the three
in the Dark Tower series. Let you

971
01:18:17.640 --> 01:18:20.520
know how that goes. I did
chuck, did a chuck. I finished

972
01:18:20.560 --> 01:18:25.520
my book on poker. Yeah,
yep, can you school me? Am

973
01:18:25.520 --> 01:18:28.359
I going to get schooled? You
know, all so because it's hard.

974
01:18:29.000 --> 01:18:31.439
It's a book that I'm glad I
listened to it because I like hearing the

975
01:18:31.560 --> 01:18:36.920
guy describe it. But imagine a
book where over Norway says, all right,

976
01:18:38.079 --> 01:18:41.039
you have a you have a six
of clubs, seven of diamonds.

977
01:18:41.079 --> 01:18:44.279
The flop is three of hearts,
two of spades, jack of diamonds.

978
01:18:44.800 --> 01:18:48.199
Now the person playing across from you
is pretending, is you know, indicating

979
01:18:48.239 --> 01:18:53.159
that he's got pocket queens. Now
you have, and it's like you really

980
01:18:53.239 --> 01:18:57.439
have to remember all the cards in
play. Yeah. And also it's spent

981
01:18:57.520 --> 01:19:01.319
a lot of time describing card games
that I will never play, like ohmaha

982
01:19:01.439 --> 01:19:04.319
eight or better. I was like
what Yeah. I was like, I

983
01:19:04.359 --> 01:19:06.720
don't need any of this, but
the parts that I liked, I really

984
01:19:06.800 --> 01:19:10.159
liked. It was totally worth it, which is what I like about audible

985
01:19:10.520 --> 01:19:12.760
dot Com. Like you get like
the credit a month boom, Yeah,

986
01:19:12.920 --> 01:19:15.439
you can free book. Go ahead
and just listen to it. Try something

987
01:19:15.479 --> 01:19:17.319
new. That's what I'm doing.
Um, so that's worth it. Don't

988
01:19:17.359 --> 01:19:24.439
forget once again. Punch Toby our
baby shaped donate button. Um check out

989
01:19:24.520 --> 01:19:30.520
Patreon we Are It's uh patreon dot
com. Slash blurry photos. It's p

990
01:19:30.680 --> 01:19:34.399
A t R E O N yes
dot com slash blurry photos check it out.

991
01:19:34.600 --> 01:19:36.760
If you want to support us,
that would be great. I'm not

992
01:19:36.840 --> 01:19:39.560
saying you have to, but I
sure would like it if you did.

993
01:19:39.600 --> 01:19:42.000
It'd be great if you could.
We'll try to give it back to you

994
01:19:42.279 --> 01:19:45.600
in that case. And it's a
it's the best we can do as far

995
01:19:45.680 --> 01:19:49.039
as is making this is even steven
as possible. You know, we're not

996
01:19:49.159 --> 01:19:56.680
asking for handouts. We're asking for
hand ups and handouts. And always remember

997
01:19:56.800 --> 01:20:00.720
the store is now open. Oh
he'll get yourself a T shirt or two.

998
01:20:00.079 --> 01:20:02.399
We've we've got a couple of designs
on there. We've got some things

999
01:20:02.439 --> 01:20:05.199
in the work, so I gonna
head to it and stuff that store.

1000
01:20:05.239 --> 01:20:10.960
We'll just grow, get international set
up and taken care of. And if

1001
01:20:11.039 --> 01:20:14.840
there's if there's something you'd particularly like, put it into an email. You

1002
01:20:14.880 --> 01:20:16.359
know, we read them all,
so yeah, yeah, we that helps

1003
01:20:16.439 --> 01:20:20.159
us. We've got ideas, but
obviously we're not going to be the ones

1004
01:20:20.239 --> 01:20:24.159
buying the shirts. So yeah,
it's it's tough from our end because we're

1005
01:20:24.159 --> 01:20:26.119
like, well, we have all
these ideas, like we'd love to make

1006
01:20:26.159 --> 01:20:29.079
this and this, but we can't
like just make all the shirts. Yeah,

1007
01:20:29.159 --> 01:20:31.000
and then hope it works out.
So we'll probably put some some polls

1008
01:20:31.079 --> 01:20:34.279
up, try to gauge interest in
things. And maybe you guys hate shirts,

1009
01:20:34.359 --> 01:20:39.439
that's cool. Yeah, still be
your friend. I love They'll be

1010
01:20:39.520 --> 01:20:43.319
there shirtless people. They'll be there
for you when you when you come around.

1011
01:20:44.800 --> 01:20:46.439
Um. So yeah, let's see, we've got the live show of

1012
01:20:46.560 --> 01:20:51.560
the live show Duh April seventeenth,
Doors open eight eight pm at LOL Chicago,

1013
01:20:51.800 --> 01:20:56.000
which is on Lincoln just south of
Irving Park. It's a great neighborhood.

1014
01:20:56.039 --> 01:20:59.079
There's a wonderful sushi restaurant, there's
the Brownstone over there's a ton of

1015
01:20:59.159 --> 01:21:01.640
great restaurants, the great bars.
It's a fun place to hang out.

1016
01:21:01.760 --> 01:21:05.680
And we would love to see you
eight pm on April seventeenth. Yeah,

1017
01:21:05.800 --> 01:21:11.279
you can get tickets through their website. Laugh. It's a laugh outloud theater.

1018
01:21:11.479 --> 01:21:15.079
There you go dot com Slice Chicago. We'll have all that stuff on

1019
01:21:15.199 --> 01:21:17.840
the on the site that you can
go to and everything exactly. That really

1020
01:21:17.880 --> 01:21:20.680
easy for you. Uh, you
know, it's it's not the biggest venue

1021
01:21:20.720 --> 01:21:23.840
in the world, but I think
it'll be all right. I would love

1022
01:21:23.880 --> 01:21:26.159
it if it was a problem.
And yeah, you know, and we're

1023
01:21:26.239 --> 01:21:30.880
actually already looking to rebook. So
yeah, so you know, I think

1024
01:21:30.920 --> 01:21:33.600
I think I think it'll cover it. I'm excited by hook or by crook.

1025
01:21:33.640 --> 01:21:36.319
We will fit everybody in as good
as my winness. I will break

1026
01:21:36.439 --> 01:21:40.399
every fire code in the city of
Chicago. It'll be fine. It's not

1027
01:21:40.479 --> 01:21:43.239
like the city ever has fires.
We don't take up a lot of space

1028
01:21:43.319 --> 01:21:45.640
on the stage, so it's not
like we're gonna be you know, you

1029
01:21:45.640 --> 01:21:47.640
can come up sit next to me, great cat fancy if you sit on

1030
01:21:47.720 --> 01:21:53.960
my lap, it'll be great.
Let me tell you a story. I'll

1031
01:21:54.039 --> 01:21:57.840
pretend you're a mannequin and you can
do the podcast. April seventeenth, eight

1032
01:21:57.920 --> 01:22:00.840
pm, lol Theater, Chicago.
Oh. Tickets are ten dollars. One

1033
01:22:00.880 --> 01:22:04.399
thing that I don't want to forget
right now the penalty box. Yes,

1034
01:22:05.039 --> 01:22:09.119
I've been tried and convicted, both
Flora and I have. This episode ran

1035
01:22:09.159 --> 01:22:11.920
Actually we thought this is going to
go shorter than this episode ran a little

1036
01:22:11.960 --> 01:22:14.359
long, so I'm afraid we have
to punt the penalty box. We are

1037
01:22:14.399 --> 01:22:17.399
not shirking justice, but sometimes the
docket gets fulled and we can't get arraigned

1038
01:22:17.439 --> 01:22:20.720
properly. Well, when they don't
feel you know, sometimes they don't confirm

1039
01:22:21.479 --> 01:22:26.560
one of the justices, so it's
it's in gridlock. Yeah, there's any

1040
01:22:26.600 --> 01:22:32.319
cases that call you off Congress,
Yeah, you know, you know.

1041
01:22:32.439 --> 01:22:38.880
Also most of Congress is rich,
Flora. Congress is rich Flora. They're

1042
01:22:39.000 --> 01:22:45.600
rich. I'm going to kick you
until they feel it right. The head

1043
01:22:45.640 --> 01:22:50.479
of the Climate and Science Advisory Board
brought him in Snowball. I don't think

1044
01:22:50.520 --> 01:22:53.680
he's the head of that one.
He was just an idiots trying to goad

1045
01:22:53.720 --> 01:22:56.439
you. So there you go.
Everybody, that's blurry photos for this week.

1046
01:22:56.760 --> 01:22:59.880
That's all right, I'll do it
for this episode of blurry Photos.

1047
01:23:00.199 --> 01:23:02.760
I have been Dave, not one, not two, but three British accents

1048
01:23:02.800 --> 01:23:09.920
Stecco and I have been David Farfide. That was the best one on the

1049
01:23:10.079 --> 01:23:13.119
list. Hey, Flora, Yeah, you remind me of the babe.

1050
01:23:13.199 --> 01:23:50.079
What babe, the babe with the
pie. Let's see. Oh okay,

1051
01:23:50.199 --> 01:23:54.119
I know it's voice. I'm gonna
do this. What well? What is

1052
01:23:54.159 --> 01:23:58.399
it on the first Vandyke scale?
H no, no, oh okay.

1053
01:23:58.880 --> 01:24:04.000
Our former god ner Jesse Ventura in
an old labbey down a long, long

1054
01:24:04.199 --> 01:24:12.399
while at the section and grave digger
in the churchyard of one Governbriel grub my

1055
01:24:12.640 --> 01:24:15.319
body do it. The bio is
just doing that with Yester the body.

1056
01:24:16.439 --> 01:24:24.880
Mister. He wasn't ill condued,
okay, but seriously surely shorted with no

1057
01:24:25.000 --> 01:24:31.439
body but himself like a good marine. I saw my David crying hard as

1058
01:24:31.880 --> 01:24:41.199
Dave could cry. What could I
do? My David's love it live my

1059
01:24:41.680 --> 01:24:49.760
Davey Blue nobod new what keen is? Suck is it