WEBVTT 1 00:00:16.320 --> 00:00:21.519 The Valley of the Giants more than forty years ago, right at fifty. 2 00:00:21.719 --> 00:00:25.719 Really, I did a thing that no one in my family ever knew about 3 00:00:26.239 --> 00:00:30.679 and would not have approved if they had found out. I have kept the 4 00:00:30.760 --> 00:00:35.280 secret all these years because it is my intention not to hurt in any way 5 00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:40.119 those I cared about. Telling of what I knew would have dredged up bad 6 00:00:40.200 --> 00:00:44.840 feelings and opened old wounds, and I would not do that. I'm early 7 00:00:44.880 --> 00:00:49.159 into my sixties now and no one remains but me, And while I feel 8 00:00:49.159 --> 00:00:53.079 strange for doing this, I'm glad I finally got to be able to tell 9 00:00:53.159 --> 00:00:58.799 this without anyone being bothered. As you have probably already guessed, life was 10 00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:03.200 confusing and comp located for me when I was growing up, and while I 11 00:01:03.240 --> 00:01:07.640 cared deeply for those in my family, I have to admit to a peculiar 12 00:01:07.760 --> 00:01:11.239 sense of relief that I felt when I laid to rest the last remaining member 13 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:17.239 of my family besides myself. I do not count my wife among those, 14 00:01:17.280 --> 00:01:21.120 because she has known the secret for quite a while now and is sworn to 15 00:01:21.200 --> 00:01:25.719 keep silent until I no longer do. I guess she can do as she 16 00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:30.480 likes. But now I'm finally going to tell of what I know. My 17 00:01:30.599 --> 00:01:34.280 father was a good man, a good man as I ever met, and 18 00:01:34.359 --> 00:01:38.640 I'm not being biased just because he was my father. All those I knew 19 00:01:38.680 --> 00:01:42.680 throughout my life thought the same way, because I heard them say the same 20 00:01:42.719 --> 00:01:49.439 thing repeatedly. He worked hard and provided for us, and was honest in 21 00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:53.239 all things, and was a devoted husband. He was steadfast when my brother 22 00:01:53.400 --> 00:01:57.799 was taken from us in an automobile accident, and when my mother was losing 23 00:01:57.840 --> 00:02:02.680 her health battle, he was by her side from the diagnosis until we laid 24 00:02:02.719 --> 00:02:08.039 her to rest. But he was not perfect. I never saw him display 25 00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:14.599 anger or hatred toward anyone aside from one person, and he carried that bitterness 26 00:02:14.639 --> 00:02:19.560 inside him every day that I knew him. There was one person my father 27 00:02:19.639 --> 00:02:23.759 could not tolerate for a reason that I will never understand completely, and that 28 00:02:23.879 --> 00:02:30.879 man happened to be my grandfather, my father's father. My grandfather only lived 29 00:02:30.879 --> 00:02:35.520 a few miles from where our house was, but I never saw him until 30 00:02:35.560 --> 00:02:38.800 I was old enough to come and go as I pleased within reason. I 31 00:02:38.840 --> 00:02:44.080 only knew where he lived because my mother had told me in strict confidence one 32 00:02:44.159 --> 00:02:49.000 day when I was about twelve. I had gone with her to buy groceries, 33 00:02:49.080 --> 00:02:52.800 and she slowed the car down as she drove and pointed to the house 34 00:02:52.840 --> 00:02:57.120 as we passed by. Now, this is where your grandfather lives, she 35 00:02:57.280 --> 00:03:00.120 told me. But you are never to tell your father that you know that. 36 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:06.039 I thought it wrong for you not to know. Being twelve, of 37 00:03:06.080 --> 00:03:08.960 course, I hammered her with questions about the man I had never met, 38 00:03:09.400 --> 00:03:14.280 but she refused to answer any of them, and finally grew so tired of 39 00:03:14.360 --> 00:03:19.319 refusing to give up any information that she told me to shut up and forced 40 00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:23.400 me to sit in the car alone while she did her shopping. Her silence 41 00:03:23.479 --> 00:03:29.879 only fueled my curiosity in the subject that she had brought up. I asked 42 00:03:29.919 --> 00:03:34.800 her no more questions when she returned or any time afterward, but that didn't 43 00:03:34.840 --> 00:03:38.439 mean I stopped thinking about him and what he was like. All of my 44 00:03:38.520 --> 00:03:45.039 friends had grandfathers, and they talked about them often. Now I finally did 45 00:03:45.120 --> 00:03:50.719 too, only I knew nothing about him. We lived not so far from 46 00:03:50.800 --> 00:03:55.719 Mamo, Louisiana at the time. I now live in Missouri. That part 47 00:03:55.800 --> 00:04:00.280 isn't important. I just thought I would say it for the record, but 48 00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:02.919 it does point out that I grew up not in a busy city, but 49 00:04:03.120 --> 00:04:10.039 was raised enjoying and appreciating the rural life and the outdoors. My father was 50 00:04:10.080 --> 00:04:14.360 a big believer in the outdoors as well, and I have to assume that 51 00:04:14.479 --> 00:04:17.199 he learned much of that from the father that he grew up to despise. 52 00:04:18.600 --> 00:04:25.120 Love of that lifestyle is a tradition passed along from fathers to sons, or 53 00:04:25.160 --> 00:04:28.759 at least it was when I was growing up, and I guess it still 54 00:04:28.839 --> 00:04:32.439 is. My wife and I were never able to have children, so I 55 00:04:32.519 --> 00:04:35.920 never had the chance to do as my father did for me, and that 56 00:04:36.079 --> 00:04:40.800 is a regret I have. But when I was young, I wondered a 57 00:04:40.879 --> 00:04:45.319 lot if my father had been taken fishing and hunting by his father the way 58 00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:49.480 that my father took me. I still don't know if they ever shared times 59 00:04:49.639 --> 00:04:54.560 like that, but I hope that they did, and I wouldn't take anything 60 00:04:54.639 --> 00:04:59.879 for the moments I shared with my father and the outdoors. For my thirteenth 61 00:05:00.040 --> 00:05:04.040 birthday, I was given a new bicycle, a big blue shwim typhoon that 62 00:05:04.120 --> 00:05:09.279 could bore a hole in the wind, and once I had that, anything 63 00:05:09.319 --> 00:05:14.240 within five miles of where I lived was mine for the exploring. It was 64 00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:18.079 during one of my rambles that I rode past my grandfather's house. I had 65 00:05:18.120 --> 00:05:23.720 never forgotten my mother telling me of him or pointing out the house, but 66 00:05:23.800 --> 00:05:28.879 I had filed away where he lived because we never rode by it. Seeing 67 00:05:28.920 --> 00:05:32.120 it from the seat of my bike stirred up all the curiosity again, and 68 00:05:32.160 --> 00:05:36.759 I started right then to wheel into his driveway. But it was getting late 69 00:05:36.759 --> 00:05:41.240 in the afternoon, and if I found him at home and we began to 70 00:05:41.319 --> 00:05:45.079 have a fine talk, I didn't want to just up and leave so soon 71 00:05:45.120 --> 00:05:49.319 after arriving, so I decided to plan on getting there earlier the next time 72 00:05:49.399 --> 00:05:55.279 in case things went well. It was summer and I was out of school, 73 00:05:55.319 --> 00:05:59.000 so me being gone all day on my bike was not unusual. And 74 00:05:59.040 --> 00:06:01.720 I glanced one more time at the house and began to peddle home. And 75 00:06:01.800 --> 00:06:06.120 I reminded myself along the way to make no mention to my parents of where 76 00:06:06.160 --> 00:06:11.560 I had been, Telling them that I had ridden anywhere near that house was 77 00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:15.040 a good way to get my bike taken away from me. And it was 78 00:06:15.040 --> 00:06:19.720 two more days before I was able to go back. When the opportunity finally 79 00:06:19.759 --> 00:06:26.240 presented itself. I did not waste time peddling around or bumming with my friends. 80 00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:30.519 I went straight as a string to his house. As I coasted into 81 00:06:30.560 --> 00:06:35.160 the driveway, the fear I had had not sense enough to have finally grabbed 82 00:06:35.199 --> 00:06:42.079 a hold of me. I remembered asking myself what I was doing. Even 83 00:06:42.120 --> 00:06:45.759 though times were different back then, you still didn't just go into a stranger's 84 00:06:45.839 --> 00:06:49.120 yard, especially when the stranger had been banned from our lives, as this 85 00:06:49.160 --> 00:06:55.399 one had been. He could have been anything a robber, or a murderer 86 00:06:55.560 --> 00:06:59.959 or something worse. But he was still my grandfather and I wanted to meet 87 00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:02.480 him. So I pedaled up near the porch and I got off my bike. 88 00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:06.839 When he met me at the door before I had even had a chance 89 00:07:06.879 --> 00:07:12.360 to knock. He was not what I had been expecting. He was a 90 00:07:12.480 --> 00:07:15.519 nice looking old man with a full head of white hair, and he was 91 00:07:15.519 --> 00:07:19.040 wearing the kind of denim pants that had the hammer loop on the side of 92 00:07:19.079 --> 00:07:24.759 the leg and a plaid shirt with two pins in the pocket. He was 93 00:07:24.800 --> 00:07:28.160 holding a coffee cup in one hand when he opened the door and spoke to 94 00:07:28.199 --> 00:07:31.319 me through the screen. He didn't bark at me or cuss at me for 95 00:07:31.439 --> 00:07:35.800 disturbing him so early in the day. He just asked me if he could 96 00:07:35.879 --> 00:07:41.920 help me. There was something about the sound of his voice that started to 97 00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:45.480 put me at ease, and I was still scared, but not like I 98 00:07:45.519 --> 00:07:49.680 had been when I first walked up his steps. I suppose I just stood 99 00:07:49.759 --> 00:07:55.000 there because he asked me a second time, and that was when I blurted 100 00:07:55.040 --> 00:07:59.040 out my name, and I told him that I was his grandson and that 101 00:07:59.160 --> 00:08:03.079 I had just come to say hello and meet him. I didn't know the 102 00:08:03.120 --> 00:08:07.120 best way to start the conversation, so that was what came out. I 103 00:08:07.199 --> 00:08:11.040 remembered that he took a step back, but he never stopped staring at me. 104 00:08:11.879 --> 00:08:15.839 He tried to make me feel a bit more at ease and jabbered out 105 00:08:15.879 --> 00:08:18.480 something about me not trying to sell him anything like they had us do in 106 00:08:18.519 --> 00:08:22.759 school from time to time, and I really just did want to meet him 107 00:08:22.800 --> 00:08:28.160 and maybe talk for a little while. He took a drink from his cup 108 00:08:28.240 --> 00:08:31.519 and pulled the watch from his pocket and looked at it, and then he 109 00:08:31.600 --> 00:08:35.000 told me that I caught him on a bad day. Well, I apologized 110 00:08:35.080 --> 00:08:41.000 and started down the steps of the porch. The meeting had not gone as 111 00:08:41.039 --> 00:08:43.279 I had been thinking it would, but at least I had done it, 112 00:08:43.639 --> 00:08:48.399 and now it was out of my system. Now I could go back to 113 00:08:48.440 --> 00:08:52.679 spending my summer doing the things a kid my age was supposed to be doing. 114 00:08:52.440 --> 00:08:56.759 And that was when he called to me from the porch. He had 115 00:08:56.799 --> 00:09:00.240 stepped through the door and out onto the porch while I had been retread. 116 00:09:01.519 --> 00:09:05.919 I promised to help a friend do some work to his kitchen, but we 117 00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:09.200 should be finished with the work by tomorrow. You're welcome to come back if 118 00:09:09.240 --> 00:09:13.519 you'd like. I'd very much like to get to know you, also, 119 00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:18.799 my grandfather told me. I turned and once I stood up on my bike, 120 00:09:18.840 --> 00:09:22.279 I told him that I would be back, and I rode away without 121 00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:26.279 saying another word. I spent the rest of the day and all the next 122 00:09:26.360 --> 00:09:31.200 day trying to decide if I should go back. He seemed like a kind 123 00:09:31.279 --> 00:09:35.039 old man, and he was my grandfather, who I had every right to 124 00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:39.639 know. But my father had always taken care of me and had never steered 125 00:09:39.679 --> 00:09:43.879 me wrong in any way, so some of my thoughts were toward trusting him 126 00:09:43.919 --> 00:09:48.440 in this and staying away. But what upset my father might be nothing to 127 00:09:48.480 --> 00:09:52.000 me, and I really wanted to know this man while I had the chance, 128 00:09:52.720 --> 00:09:56.559 So after eating my breakfast and taking out the garbage, I mounted my 129 00:09:56.639 --> 00:10:03.720 bike and I headed for his house. Maybe it was his usual habit when 130 00:10:03.720 --> 00:10:07.480 he wasn't helping to rebuild kitchens, or maybe he was anxious to meet me 131 00:10:07.840 --> 00:10:11.840 as I was him, but either way, he was sitting on his porch 132 00:10:11.879 --> 00:10:16.799 when I rode into the yard. He was drinking coffee again when I walked 133 00:10:16.879 --> 00:10:20.679 up the steps, and he told me his name and stuck out his hand 134 00:10:20.679 --> 00:10:24.039 for me to shake, and then he offered me a seat and a chair 135 00:10:24.080 --> 00:10:28.360 across a small table from where he sat. I knew of you, but 136 00:10:28.759 --> 00:10:33.919 hadn't given any thought to how big you had grown to be. Your grandmother 137 00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:37.320 passed a long time before you were born, before your parents even married. 138 00:10:39.320 --> 00:10:43.399 Had she lived, I expect I would have seen a photograph or two of 139 00:10:43.440 --> 00:10:46.279 you, and I was never sent one, being as it is just me 140 00:10:46.399 --> 00:10:50.480 here now. I knew that you had been born because a friend of mine 141 00:10:50.559 --> 00:10:54.799 had heard that news, but he didn't know what they had named you, 142 00:10:54.159 --> 00:10:58.399 so I never heard. I'm betting that your father doesn't know that you're here. 143 00:10:58.559 --> 00:11:03.440 Does he, He asked me, No, sir, he doesn't, 144 00:11:03.679 --> 00:11:07.679 and he would wear me out if he did. My mother pointed out your 145 00:11:07.720 --> 00:11:09.600 house to me one day and says she thought I ought to know where you've 146 00:11:09.679 --> 00:11:13.120 lived, but I didn't tell either one of them that I was coming. 147 00:11:15.360 --> 00:11:18.440 We'll make a habit of breaking your parents' rules, do you, he asked, 148 00:11:18.600 --> 00:11:22.960 Well, no, sir, I almost never. I told him. 149 00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:26.080 So you've known of me of all five minutes, and already my bad influence 150 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:31.360 on you is proving itself out. That's what your father would claim, He 151 00:11:31.399 --> 00:11:35.279 said, yes, sir, he likely would, but I'm not making any 152 00:11:35.320 --> 00:11:37.879 plans for him to find out about this, and I don't reckon you'll be 153 00:11:37.960 --> 00:11:41.519 telling him. So, just why is it you and my father hate each 154 00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:48.080 other? I ask? My grandfather looked shocked to hear such a question from 155 00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:50.600 a kid, but I think he knew deep down it was coming at some 156 00:11:50.799 --> 00:11:56.200 point. That is complicated, But I don't hate your father. He's my 157 00:11:56.440 --> 00:12:01.679 son, and I couldn't never feel any hatred to I don't think he hates 158 00:12:01.799 --> 00:12:07.039 me either, But he was hurt by something a long time ago, and 159 00:12:07.080 --> 00:12:11.120 he never knew a way to show that. Except for acting angry, and 160 00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:15.559 then it became easier for him to live that way. It was just something 161 00:12:15.639 --> 00:12:20.320 he could never understand, nor did he try to. I guess I can 162 00:12:20.360 --> 00:12:22.960 see his point. I just wish he had tried to see mine. He 163 00:12:24.080 --> 00:12:28.279 told me, So, what did you do that he holds against you? 164 00:12:28.519 --> 00:12:31.639 I ask him, I'm not sure if that's any of your business, but 165 00:12:31.720 --> 00:12:35.840 I'm not trying to be rude. It was just something that happened ages ago 166 00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:39.679 and might ought to be left where it is. He told me, well, 167 00:12:39.720 --> 00:12:43.919 I came here hoping to know about my grandfather, and I don't know 168 00:12:43.960 --> 00:12:46.679 that I'll ever get to come back. I'd like to know why we were 169 00:12:46.720 --> 00:12:50.759 never allowed to meet. I mean, we are family, so I'd say 170 00:12:50.799 --> 00:12:54.879 that makes it my business, wouldn't you? I asked, You have a 171 00:12:54.879 --> 00:12:58.480 lot of your father in you. What I'm afraid of is that if I 172 00:12:58.559 --> 00:13:03.720 tell you that story, the true story, you either won't be able to 173 00:13:03.840 --> 00:13:07.000 keep your mouth closed about it, or you'll take sides against me or your 174 00:13:07.080 --> 00:13:09.960 daddy. And I don't want you to do either one of those. He 175 00:13:11.000 --> 00:13:13.519 said, Well, I reckon, I can make my own mind up and 176 00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:18.360 keep it to myself. The story and who I think to be right, 177 00:13:18.519 --> 00:13:22.639 I told him. I watched him consider my words for a minute or two 178 00:13:22.679 --> 00:13:26.879 before he spoke again, Do your folks allow you to drink soda pop? 179 00:13:28.360 --> 00:13:31.840 Some parents don't. Is the reason that I'm asking, Yes, sir, 180 00:13:31.840 --> 00:13:35.360 I'm allowed to drink sodas as long as I don't go overboard with him. 181 00:13:35.399 --> 00:13:39.919 I told him he brought us both a glass bottle of doctor pepper. He 182 00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:43.200 must have kept them in the fridge, because mine, at least was very 183 00:13:43.240 --> 00:13:48.080 cold. It's funny the things you remember. For me. It was how 184 00:13:48.120 --> 00:13:52.480 cold that soda was that morning? How old did you say you are? 185 00:13:52.039 --> 00:13:56.879 I only asked because I'm wondering about something. Well, I started to speak, 186 00:13:56.919 --> 00:14:01.600 but had to let out a loud belch. I guess I had been 187 00:14:01.679 --> 00:14:05.399 drinking my soda too fast. I then told him I was thirteen, after 188 00:14:05.440 --> 00:14:11.000 saying, excuse me thirteen. Uh. So you know about boys and girls. 189 00:14:11.559 --> 00:14:16.320 Boys your age are always sniffing around girls, trying to hold hands with 190 00:14:16.399 --> 00:14:20.639 them and sneak off behind the building somewhere to steal a kiss. But guess 191 00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:24.320 what, grown men and women are the same way. A lot of men 192 00:14:24.519 --> 00:14:26.960 like to do that sort of thing so much that they leave the family they 193 00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:31.039 already have, just to try to have a little fun. Well, that's 194 00:14:31.080 --> 00:14:35.639 what your daddy always thought I had done, no matter how many times I 195 00:14:35.720 --> 00:14:39.840 told him he was wrong. I told him exactly where I had been and 196 00:14:39.879 --> 00:14:43.039 what I had been doing, and he thought that I was a liar. 197 00:14:43.159 --> 00:14:48.120 I understand him being sore. What I did put him and his mother in 198 00:14:48.200 --> 00:14:50.679 a hard way for a long time. But I never did what your daddy 199 00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:56.080 believes I did. I was honest with him, and I'm gonna be honest 200 00:14:56.159 --> 00:15:00.120 with you. If you call me a liar after I'm through, then there 201 00:15:00.200 --> 00:15:03.080 will be no reason for you to ever come back here again. I don't 202 00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:07.039 have enough time left to put up with the nonsense again. If you don't 203 00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:11.120 believe what I tell you, then don't but just go after I'm done and 204 00:15:11.159 --> 00:15:15.759 don't come back. Do we have a deal, son, he asked me. 205 00:15:16.240 --> 00:15:20.639 I told him that that was fair enough, and I sat back waiting 206 00:15:20.720 --> 00:15:26.600 to hear what he had to say. Some men are nothing but hounds, 207 00:15:26.039 --> 00:15:31.679 always trying to slip around after things that they have no business with. They 208 00:15:31.720 --> 00:15:33.840 do that when they get bored or fed up with what they have at home. 209 00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:37.600 I know that because I got tired of it too, but I didn't 210 00:15:37.639 --> 00:15:43.279 go stepping out like some men do. I just stepped out and stayed out 211 00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:46.720 longer than I should have. I never believed in having a wandering eye, 212 00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:50.320 and I thought the world of your grandmother and your father. But there came 213 00:15:50.360 --> 00:15:54.360 a time I just had to go and clear my head. I was a 214 00:15:54.399 --> 00:15:58.200 good man, but I suppose I was a selfish one too, And when 215 00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:03.399 you think only of yourself, that's being selfish. One day I walked out 216 00:16:03.399 --> 00:16:10.799 the door and then just kept walking. I was raised more outdoors than in 217 00:16:11.639 --> 00:16:15.960 most of us in that part of the country were back then. Being out 218 00:16:15.000 --> 00:16:18.919 in the wilds, the woods and swamps and bayous wasn't just natural to me. 219 00:16:19.559 --> 00:16:23.480 It was where I felt at home and at peace. Because I was 220 00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:27.399 providing for your grandmother and your father. I had moved us all into town 221 00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:33.360 where I could work steady. That was before we all moved here. I 222 00:16:33.399 --> 00:16:36.399 thought that to be the right thing to do. But I always felt like 223 00:16:36.480 --> 00:16:40.440 I was being strangled to death, like I couldn't ever get a deep breath. 224 00:16:41.879 --> 00:16:45.919 One day something happened. I can't tell you what it was because I 225 00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:49.639 can't remember. Probably couldn't have told you then either. All I knew was 226 00:16:49.679 --> 00:16:53.799 that I'd had enough and I had to get out and away from everybody and 227 00:16:53.879 --> 00:17:00.480 everything. I wasn't planning on being gone but a couple of hours I started 228 00:17:00.559 --> 00:17:07.119 walking. But plans change, I guess. I lit out like my head 229 00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:11.599 was on fire and my rear end was catching and it seemed like the farther 230 00:17:11.759 --> 00:17:15.640 I went, the faster I needed to go. Now, I'm telling you, 231 00:17:15.720 --> 00:17:18.440 it was the strangest feeling. I had no idea what I was doing 232 00:17:18.559 --> 00:17:22.759 or where I was going. I only knew that I had to make good 233 00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:26.880 time. Having moved to that town not so long before, I really didn't 234 00:17:26.920 --> 00:17:30.680 know much about the area, but it didn't matter to me. All I 235 00:17:30.759 --> 00:17:34.279 knew was that I was seeing less people with every step, and I was 236 00:17:34.319 --> 00:17:40.000 feeling better all the time. As soon as I ran up on a great 237 00:17:40.039 --> 00:17:41.960 patch of woods, I darted in there. I had to get off the 238 00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:47.559 asphalt, on the dirt and leaves. I was practically running by the time 239 00:17:47.599 --> 00:17:51.519 I was in amongst all those trees, and I felt good for the first 240 00:17:51.519 --> 00:17:56.759 time in days. Once I stepped far enough away from the world, I 241 00:17:56.799 --> 00:18:00.920 could hear nothing aside from the breeze through the tree limbs. It was as 242 00:18:00.920 --> 00:18:04.119 if a heavy load had been taken from my shoulders. And if you had 243 00:18:04.119 --> 00:18:08.319 asked me long about then exactly where I was or exactly how to get back 244 00:18:08.359 --> 00:18:11.640 to where I lived, I'm not sure that I could have told you. 245 00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:17.279 I was in sort of a daze, the good kind where you just feel 246 00:18:17.319 --> 00:18:21.440 good all over. And I watched where I was stepping because I didn't want 247 00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:25.079 to fall into a hole or stumble over a log of some sort. But 248 00:18:25.160 --> 00:18:30.000 otherwise I wasn't caring where I was going. I was just happy to keep 249 00:18:30.039 --> 00:18:33.440 walking where I was at, and there wasn't any other concern on my mind. 250 00:18:34.319 --> 00:18:37.920 That was about when the breeze that was blowing into my face allowed me 251 00:18:38.039 --> 00:18:45.240 to smell something strange. It wasn't altogether bad, but it was different from 252 00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:48.920 anything I've ever smelled before. It was strong, but kind of sweet in 253 00:18:48.960 --> 00:18:52.720 a wrong sort of way, like when you run up on an animal that's 254 00:18:52.759 --> 00:18:56.880 been dead for a while, long enough dead that most of the bitter smells 255 00:18:57.079 --> 00:19:03.160 washed away and only that sweet ra remains. Since I didn't know or care 256 00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:07.720 where I was, and I had no agenda, I started following that smell 257 00:19:07.880 --> 00:19:14.799 just out of curiosity, I suppose. Deeper and deeper into those unfamiliar woods 258 00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:17.599 I went, And in the back of my mind, I guess I was 259 00:19:17.640 --> 00:19:21.240 aware of all the things that could be in there. After all, I 260 00:19:21.240 --> 00:19:25.400 had spent most of my life in those places. I knew there could be 261 00:19:25.480 --> 00:19:29.839 anything from wild hogs to the snakes that will bite you. And if there 262 00:19:29.880 --> 00:19:33.799 happened to be any water around there, there could be a gaiter or two 263 00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:37.480 lying real still. But I don't remember caring about that at the time. 264 00:19:38.079 --> 00:19:44.279 I just kept sticking my nose into that breeze and following that smell. I 265 00:19:44.359 --> 00:19:48.160 must have walked steady for an hour or more. Sometimes the smell would get 266 00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:52.400 stronger and I would hurry a little faster, and sometimes there would be nothing, 267 00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:56.799 and I'd have to wait for the wind to shift or go backwards until 268 00:19:56.839 --> 00:20:00.039 I picked it up again. But eventually I ended up on top of this 269 00:20:00.279 --> 00:20:06.480 ridge. It wasn't like I had climbed some great hill. The land just 270 00:20:06.519 --> 00:20:10.799 sort of rose up that way. I was figuring that when I got to 271 00:20:10.839 --> 00:20:12.640 the top, I would see the land flatten out in front of me, 272 00:20:12.880 --> 00:20:17.119 like I had been walking in the lowland all the time, and was finally 273 00:20:17.160 --> 00:20:22.119 out of the bottoms. But it wasn't like that. What I saw was 274 00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:26.440 a I don't know how best to describe it to you. It was a 275 00:20:26.559 --> 00:20:30.720 valley, a bowl of land down below all the upland ridges that surrounded it. 276 00:20:32.839 --> 00:20:34.519 Now, I know, when you hear the word valley, you're probably 277 00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:40.079 thinking peaceful, grass filled land that looks like a pasture. But that isn't 278 00:20:40.079 --> 00:20:45.680 what this was. It looked to me like a grown over quarry, scrub 279 00:20:45.720 --> 00:20:49.160 brush and rocks where there weren't any big holes and ditches, And it wasn't 280 00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:55.000 a pit. This stretched for quite a way. It looked like a place 281 00:20:55.079 --> 00:20:57.680 you might see in one of those monster movies that they show on the television 282 00:20:57.720 --> 00:21:03.039 on Saturday afternoon, one of those places where the cave men still lived because 283 00:21:03.079 --> 00:21:07.440 they never had died out. I didn't know there was any kind of place 284 00:21:07.519 --> 00:21:11.880 like that in the world, let alone losi Ina. But there it was 285 00:21:11.960 --> 00:21:17.359 in front of me, graveling dirt, cave looking hollows in the steep banks, 286 00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:22.200 dark looking pool of water that didn't look fit to drink, and bushes 287 00:21:22.200 --> 00:21:26.759 and trees that seemed to have grown just so far and then stopped like they 288 00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:32.400 couldn't grow any taller. It was quiet there, quiet like I had never 289 00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:37.599 experienced, as if sound wasn't permitted to enter that valley. It was a 290 00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:42.839 kind of quiet that made you feel all cold inside, you know, the 291 00:21:44.079 --> 00:21:48.160 nervous type cold like you feel when you walk inside a funeral home. As 292 00:21:48.240 --> 00:21:52.359 much as I had needed to get away from everybody and everything, I was 293 00:21:52.440 --> 00:21:57.119 ready to leave that sorrowful place. But then I saw what I couldn't make 294 00:21:57.160 --> 00:22:03.519 myself believe was true. Not for a while, I couldn't. I was 295 00:22:03.559 --> 00:22:07.240 all set to leave when I saw something from out of the corner of my 296 00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:11.680 eye. At that time, I believed it to be a bear. We 297 00:22:11.799 --> 00:22:15.039 used to have a fair number of bears around, but I hadn't heard of 298 00:22:15.160 --> 00:22:18.400 one being around for a while. I had seen it moving toward that pool 299 00:22:18.440 --> 00:22:22.920 of dark water. I didn't see it until it was right up at the 300 00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:27.039 edge of the water. I watched it and saw the strangest thing. It 301 00:22:27.079 --> 00:22:32.160 reached out and scooped up some of that water, and then it drank it. 302 00:22:32.160 --> 00:22:34.440 It didn't stick its old muzzle down in the water to lap it up 303 00:22:34.519 --> 00:22:37.319 like you would think it would, like a dog or a cat. Would 304 00:22:38.079 --> 00:22:42.880 it scooped that water up and brought it back to its mouth. I couldn't 305 00:22:42.920 --> 00:22:48.960 understand that at all. But things only became stranger when that bear that wasn't 306 00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:53.599 a bear at all stood up not only on its hind legs, but on 307 00:22:53.640 --> 00:22:57.759 the only two legs that it had. I'm telling you, that thing was 308 00:22:57.920 --> 00:23:03.039 huge, the biggest animal I'd ever seen or heard about, and maybe half 309 00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:07.880 again as tall as any man I ever saw, and built thick and solid. 310 00:23:07.720 --> 00:23:11.400 It was bow legged and hard at the belly, and long ropy arms 311 00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:17.319 and powerful looking legs. It had a big head that was more pointed at 312 00:23:17.319 --> 00:23:21.839 the crown than round. I couldn't see much of its face from as far 313 00:23:21.920 --> 00:23:25.799 away as I was, but when it turned its face upwards to sniff the 314 00:23:25.839 --> 00:23:30.319 breathe, its mouth was open and its jaws were full of yellow, flat 315 00:23:30.440 --> 00:23:34.960 teeth. It took one more look toward the water, and it began to 316 00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:40.559 lumber off, back toward the shadows that had been in. Do you know 317 00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:45.920 what lumbering means. It's something between a walk and a lilt. Those big 318 00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:49.519 arms were swinging slow as it walked, a bit bent over at the waist, 319 00:23:49.680 --> 00:23:53.440 like they were helping to push him forward. Like dragging an oard through 320 00:23:53.480 --> 00:23:57.200 the water and pushing a boat along. That's what it looked like to me. 321 00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:03.480 It slid in the shadows and disappeared, leaving me to wonder if what 322 00:24:03.599 --> 00:24:08.039 I had seen had been real. I sat there for a while, pondering 323 00:24:08.119 --> 00:24:11.799 over what I had watched, until it dawned on me that I needed to 324 00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:15.799 start finding my way back. I wasn't really sure I knew the way, 325 00:24:15.880 --> 00:24:21.599 because I hadn't been paying attention as I had been walking. I stood up 326 00:24:21.640 --> 00:24:25.200 and took a last look around, and then turned to go back toward home. 327 00:24:25.640 --> 00:24:27.680 And when I turned around, that son of a bitch was standing there 328 00:24:27.720 --> 00:24:32.759 looking at me. He had made it all the way up from where it 329 00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:36.480 had been, and I had ever heard it make a sound. It was 330 00:24:36.559 --> 00:24:40.039 just standing there with its head sort of tilted off to one side, like 331 00:24:40.079 --> 00:24:44.440 he couldn't figure me out. I thought about the moment a lot over the 332 00:24:44.519 --> 00:24:48.559 years, how it looked so strange to me. I must have looked just 333 00:24:48.599 --> 00:24:52.640 as odd to it. We just stood there, looking at each other for 334 00:24:52.680 --> 00:24:56.440 the longest time. I didn't make a sound, and neither did he. 335 00:24:57.839 --> 00:25:02.119 It was taller than I I imagined it to be when I first saw it 336 00:25:02.200 --> 00:25:06.400 down by the water. It's maybe four feet taller than I am, so 337 00:25:06.519 --> 00:25:11.079 it must have been between eight and nine feet tall. And it was covered 338 00:25:11.160 --> 00:25:15.880 all over with hair or fur, except on parts of its face and the 339 00:25:15.920 --> 00:25:19.720 palms of its hands. And now that it was close, I knew where 340 00:25:19.759 --> 00:25:26.319 that sweet, roddy smell I had been following came from. I saw it 341 00:25:26.400 --> 00:25:30.160 let out a deep breath, and then it rumbled real low, like when 342 00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:34.400 you hear thunder from a long way away. It didn't growl or anything. 343 00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:38.759 It just rumbled like it was satisfied that I was nothing it needed to be 344 00:25:38.880 --> 00:25:45.039 concerned about. And then it turned and started into the god forsaken valley, 345 00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:48.559 and it lumbered off a few feet and turned to look at me. I 346 00:25:48.599 --> 00:25:52.720 didn't know it at the time, but I came to believe that it was 347 00:25:52.759 --> 00:25:56.319 its way of telling me that I could follow it if I wanted. I 348 00:25:56.359 --> 00:26:00.640 can tell you right now that I didn't want to, but I came to 349 00:26:00.720 --> 00:26:06.240 change my mind about that. I didn't walk near so fast out of those 350 00:26:06.279 --> 00:26:10.960 woods as I walked going into them, partly because I wasn't entirely sure of 351 00:26:11.039 --> 00:26:15.400 where I was, but mainly because my mind was racing about one hundred miles 352 00:26:15.440 --> 00:26:19.319 an hour, and my legs wouldn't stop shaking. I had to stop every 353 00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:23.400 so often just to try to calm down. You don't see something like I 354 00:26:23.480 --> 00:26:29.920 had seen and just walk away unbothered. But I finally made it home long 355 00:26:30.039 --> 00:26:33.279 after dark, and your saint of a grandmother wouldn't let up on me about 356 00:26:33.319 --> 00:26:37.440 where I had been all that time. It only made her madder when I 357 00:26:37.519 --> 00:26:42.839 refused to tell her. I guess I could have lied and told her something 358 00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:45.559 that would calm her down. But I never lied to her, and I 359 00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:48.839 wasn't going to start then. But I wasn't going to tell of what I 360 00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:55.200 had seen either. Something inside me told me that I should stay quiet about 361 00:26:55.240 --> 00:27:00.319 that place and that thing that lived there. As you can imagine, I 362 00:27:00.319 --> 00:27:03.559 didn't sleep very well that night. I just kept thinking about that giant, 363 00:27:03.640 --> 00:27:08.680 hairy thing living in that lonesome valley, and I wondered if anyone else was 364 00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:15.440 aware of it being there. By sunrise, I had reached a decision. 365 00:27:15.079 --> 00:27:18.160 Now I know now that I should have thought about it a little longer. 366 00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:22.480 I don't think it was the wrong decision, but I should have handled things 367 00:27:22.519 --> 00:27:27.359 differently. I ate breakfast with your grandmother and your father, and aside from 368 00:27:27.400 --> 00:27:33.480 your grandmother still giving me the silent treatment, everything was about like it usually 369 00:27:33.680 --> 00:27:36.759 was, and I wished them both good day, and I walked out the 370 00:27:36.799 --> 00:27:41.279 door to go to work, or at least that's what they thought. I 371 00:27:41.319 --> 00:27:45.920 walked straight to the bank and I waited outside until it opened. I had 372 00:27:45.960 --> 00:27:48.759 taken all the money I had squirreled away in a HEIGHTI hole at the house, 373 00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:53.039 and I had deposited it into an account that your grandmother and I both 374 00:27:53.079 --> 00:27:56.200 had our names on, except for a few dollars, which I kept for 375 00:27:56.359 --> 00:28:00.279 myself. And then I went to one of the local stores and I bought 376 00:28:00.279 --> 00:28:04.240 as much food that wouldn't go bad as I had the money for. And 377 00:28:04.279 --> 00:28:10.319 then I set off for that valley again. I wanted to be there with 378 00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:14.440 that thing. I wanted to watch it. I wanted it to invite me 379 00:28:14.559 --> 00:28:18.160 to follow it again. And something in that lonesome valley called to me, 380 00:28:18.839 --> 00:28:22.440 and as much as I knew I was doing wrong to my family, I 381 00:28:22.440 --> 00:28:26.240 didn't have a choice but to go. I could have left a note of 382 00:28:26.279 --> 00:28:30.480 some kind, but I didn't know how to tell the truth without telling them 383 00:28:30.599 --> 00:28:34.039 something that they would never have believed. And as I said, I wasn't 384 00:28:34.119 --> 00:28:41.200 gonna lie. I made better time in getting there than I was expecting, 385 00:28:41.440 --> 00:28:45.920 even carrying a sack full of canned meat and canned fruit plus saltine crackers. 386 00:28:45.680 --> 00:28:49.079 I hadn't been in my right mind when I had gone there the first time, 387 00:28:49.559 --> 00:28:53.720 and I was full of questions on the way out. The next time, 388 00:28:53.759 --> 00:28:56.440 I knew where I was going, and I knew that I wanted to 389 00:28:56.480 --> 00:29:02.559 be there. I arrived at after the noon hour, and though I had 390 00:29:02.599 --> 00:29:07.480 spent the morning going NonStop, I really wasn't hungry. I knew to be 391 00:29:07.559 --> 00:29:11.319 frugal with my food so it would last, but I really didn't want anything 392 00:29:11.359 --> 00:29:15.039 to eat. I remember that I wanted to drink of water awfully bad. 393 00:29:15.359 --> 00:29:19.119 And I also knew where I had crossed the creek not so far back. 394 00:29:19.559 --> 00:29:22.799 But I wanted to see that thing again more than I wanted to get up 395 00:29:22.839 --> 00:29:29.720 and start walking again. So I just sat there and waited while I watched, 396 00:29:29.799 --> 00:29:33.480 even though I knew from experience that it could slip in on me without 397 00:29:33.519 --> 00:29:37.599 my knowing at any time it wanted to. But if it went to moving 398 00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:41.359 around again, I wanted to see it I wouldn't let myself think that maybe 399 00:29:41.400 --> 00:29:45.119 we had just been the same place at the same time and it had moved 400 00:29:45.160 --> 00:29:48.799 on. I wanted to see it too badly for that to have been the 401 00:29:48.839 --> 00:29:52.759 case. It was the wrong time of year when I went to that valley 402 00:29:52.799 --> 00:29:56.480 for having to worry about it growing cold. But I sat there long enough 403 00:29:56.519 --> 00:30:00.759 for the cooling in the evening to be felt. I sat there all that 404 00:30:00.880 --> 00:30:04.720 time, and I never saw that thing. I don't mean that I never 405 00:30:04.880 --> 00:30:10.200 saw that thing moving about. I mean I didn't see anything. Not a 406 00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:12.960 squirrel, not a possum, or a deer, not even a field rat 407 00:30:14.119 --> 00:30:18.720 moved among these rocks and stubby brush. And when I did see a murder 408 00:30:18.720 --> 00:30:22.400 of croise winging through the air. They came over the treetops from the directions 409 00:30:22.440 --> 00:30:26.799 that I had come from, and then veered. As soon as they were 410 00:30:26.839 --> 00:30:30.799 going to need to fly over that valley, they stayed to the tree line, 411 00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:36.480 and they followed it. They wouldn't fly over that place. I started 412 00:30:36.519 --> 00:30:38.839 to get up so that I could go and get myself a drink of water. 413 00:30:40.559 --> 00:30:45.039 I was awfully parched by then, and as soon as I started to 414 00:30:45.079 --> 00:30:48.920 stir, the thing I had seen on the first trip there, raised itself 415 00:30:48.920 --> 00:30:53.000 from the ground, and it stared at me. I had been there all 416 00:30:53.079 --> 00:30:59.079 afternoon and had never seen it down there. I'm not claiming that it had 417 00:30:59.240 --> 00:31:02.799 magic or any thing, but I am saying that it knew how to be 418 00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:07.799 so still that it could blend into those shadows and be dang there invisible. 419 00:31:08.160 --> 00:31:11.920 I sat real still, and I watched as it took a step out into 420 00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:15.880 the light. And then I watched as a dozen or more of those things 421 00:31:15.920 --> 00:31:21.880 started to stand up. They had been watching me all that time, and 422 00:31:21.960 --> 00:31:26.359 I never saw one of them until they wanted me to. They were all 423 00:31:26.440 --> 00:31:29.880 just as hairy and uneasy on the eyes as the one I had come to 424 00:31:29.920 --> 00:31:33.279 see. But they were all different in a way or another, just like 425 00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:37.880 people look different from each other. Until that moment, I had never even 426 00:31:37.960 --> 00:31:44.480 thought about there possibly being more than one that I had seen. I never 427 00:31:44.519 --> 00:31:48.440 gave any thought on how it had come about, or if what I have 428 00:31:48.599 --> 00:31:53.799 seen the only one. I just never thought about that. Some were taller 429 00:31:55.160 --> 00:31:59.480 and the one I had already seen, and some others were heavier. A 430 00:31:59.519 --> 00:32:02.960 couple of them them were starting to turn gray like old people do, and 431 00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:07.759 they were even three that looked to be about half grown. They would have 432 00:32:07.799 --> 00:32:12.839 been like you, I guess, all gangly arms and knees just itching to 433 00:32:12.920 --> 00:32:16.440 grow into their body. Now I was a fair distance from them, but 434 00:32:16.559 --> 00:32:21.319 because it was deathly quiet, it was easy for me to tell that they 435 00:32:21.319 --> 00:32:24.799 had never made a sound. They could, as I later found, but 436 00:32:24.839 --> 00:32:30.400 they just didn't. They just did everything with nods and looks and movements of 437 00:32:30.440 --> 00:32:34.880 their hands. All of them got the picture when one would gesture in some 438 00:32:35.119 --> 00:32:39.200 way. I was busying myself watching the old ones making a point about something 439 00:32:39.279 --> 00:32:44.119 to those few younger ones, and never even noticed that the one I had 440 00:32:44.119 --> 00:32:49.519 seen on the first trip had slipped away from the group. I don't know 441 00:32:49.559 --> 00:32:52.279 what a bunch of them is to be called. They weren't people by a 442 00:32:52.319 --> 00:32:58.079 long stretch, but they were more than animals, and I've always been comfortable 443 00:32:58.119 --> 00:33:01.519 with thinking of them as a community. But when I looked up from watching 444 00:33:01.559 --> 00:33:06.759 the older ones relating something to the younger ones, I saw that the one 445 00:33:06.839 --> 00:33:12.079 I came to see was gone. I looked around down there as carefully as 446 00:33:12.119 --> 00:33:15.720 I could, but I never could locate it. That was when I heard 447 00:33:15.759 --> 00:33:20.519 it breathing behind me. I knew better than to make any sudden movements. 448 00:33:20.559 --> 00:33:23.160 But my reflexes got the better of me, and I whirled around and there 449 00:33:23.200 --> 00:33:28.519 it was, standing there like a big, hairy tree, just watching me. 450 00:33:30.079 --> 00:33:35.039 There was something about its big eyes that eased me. I was still 451 00:33:35.160 --> 00:33:38.839 scared nearly half death. Anyone would have been, but I didn't think I 452 00:33:38.920 --> 00:33:44.400 was in any immediate danger. You can read a man by looking into his 453 00:33:44.519 --> 00:33:49.160 eyes, and I was doing that with this thing. I saw curiosity in 454 00:33:49.240 --> 00:33:52.759 its eyes, not a threat. I sat there, holding my sack full 455 00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:59.039 of peaches and crackers, and it just stood there, studying me. I 456 00:33:59.079 --> 00:34:01.079 don't know for how long, but it seemed a while. And then it 457 00:34:01.160 --> 00:34:05.920 started down into the valley, just like it had done the first time it 458 00:34:06.039 --> 00:34:09.360 and me had met. And when it stopped and turned to look at me 459 00:34:09.559 --> 00:34:15.400 like it had done before, I knew I was being offered a second invitation 460 00:34:15.719 --> 00:34:19.760 to follow it. Now. I had no idea if the other ones down 461 00:34:19.760 --> 00:34:22.320 below were going to be just as friendly, but I did know that as 462 00:34:22.480 --> 00:34:27.599 quiet and as fast as these things could be, they could have caught me 463 00:34:27.679 --> 00:34:30.719 and killed me a hundred times over already if that had been their intention. 464 00:34:31.440 --> 00:34:35.679 And when it lumbered a few steps and turned to look at me again. 465 00:34:36.239 --> 00:34:39.480 I scrambled up to my feet and I collected my sack before I followed it 466 00:34:39.519 --> 00:34:45.719 down the hillside. It would turn every so often and look back at me 467 00:34:45.880 --> 00:34:50.239 like it was afraid I was having trouble keeping up. The truth is I 468 00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:54.000 was. My legs had never felt so rubbery, and I was curious about 469 00:34:54.039 --> 00:34:59.880 what was happening. But I was also very afraid. But I stayed right 470 00:35:00.119 --> 00:35:04.199 behind that thing until it led me right into the center of where all those 471 00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:07.920 things were gathered around. The older ones, the ones that were starting to 472 00:35:07.960 --> 00:35:12.880 turn gray. They gave me a couple of looks, and that seemed to 473 00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:16.599 satisfy them. But the half grown ones came close and sniffed at me, 474 00:35:16.679 --> 00:35:22.320 and they poked at me. One of them even twisted some of my hair 475 00:35:22.360 --> 00:35:28.360 in between its big leathery fingers before it stepped back. They all seemed to 476 00:35:28.360 --> 00:35:31.360 have had their fill of me and began to go about their business. But 477 00:35:31.480 --> 00:35:35.880 the one that had come to get me stared at me until I figured out 478 00:35:36.320 --> 00:35:39.480 that I was to follow it again. It walked a little way up the 479 00:35:39.519 --> 00:35:44.880 bank and looked at a hole in the bank. It wasn't much of anything, 480 00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:47.280 just a hole inside of the bank, about half the size of a 481 00:35:47.360 --> 00:35:52.840 steel barrel. But I finally understood that it was where it wanted me to 482 00:35:52.880 --> 00:35:57.000 stay put. And when I started walking up the bank, I guess it 483 00:35:57.119 --> 00:36:01.000 was satisfied, and it walked back to be with the other I sat there 484 00:36:01.039 --> 00:36:06.880 watching them sort of organize themselves into grooves before they ran up to the bank 485 00:36:07.119 --> 00:36:12.599 and disappeared into the woods. I didn't feel like I was a prisoner at 486 00:36:12.639 --> 00:36:16.280 all. I felt more like that thing had directed me to that hole because 487 00:36:16.320 --> 00:36:21.840 it felt I would be safe there while they were gone. It turned out 488 00:36:21.880 --> 00:36:24.239 that they were going to hunt all night for things to eat, and I 489 00:36:24.320 --> 00:36:29.000 realized that the next morning when I saw them come back and a couple of 490 00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:34.719 them were still eating meat off of a rabbit and a raccoon carcass. I 491 00:36:34.719 --> 00:36:37.000 spent all night in that hole, wondering where they had gone and what they 492 00:36:37.039 --> 00:36:42.000 were doing. After they left. I ate a can of apricots, and 493 00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:45.960 then I sat there until I fell asleep, but I was awake when they 494 00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:51.280 all came back. I know that you want to hear all about what I 495 00:36:51.360 --> 00:36:54.079 did there the whole time I was with them, and I'm sure you think 496 00:36:54.159 --> 00:36:59.280 that you would find it awfully interesting, and I would tell you if there 497 00:36:59.360 --> 00:37:04.440 was anything to mention, But there really wasn't anything to tell. They hunted 498 00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:07.920 all night, they slept a good bit during the day, and they made 499 00:37:07.920 --> 00:37:10.880 no indication that I was to ever stray from the hole that they had given 500 00:37:10.960 --> 00:37:16.000 me to house myself in. I was welcome to walk around and amongst them 501 00:37:16.159 --> 00:37:20.760 early of the morning, and when they returned from their night endeavors, and 502 00:37:20.800 --> 00:37:22.920 when they were gathering to leave out for the night. But they didn't like 503 00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:28.440 it when I walked around as they were resting. None of them did anything 504 00:37:28.519 --> 00:37:30.880 to me over it, but you could see it in their faces that it 505 00:37:31.000 --> 00:37:36.320 bothered them. So after I figured that out, I stayed in my place 506 00:37:37.239 --> 00:37:40.119 while they were gone. I would go to the creek I mentioned to fill 507 00:37:40.199 --> 00:37:45.519 up my empty cans with water so i'd have something handy to drink. Now, 508 00:37:45.519 --> 00:37:47.480 I'm sure it would have been fine if I had gone to that pool 509 00:37:47.519 --> 00:37:52.360 of dark water, but it's tank worse than they did, and I wasn't 510 00:37:52.400 --> 00:37:58.639 mad enough to swallow any of that. I was there eleven days with them, 511 00:37:59.159 --> 00:38:01.719 never speaking, never sitting with them, never running with them, all 512 00:38:01.840 --> 00:38:06.960 night long, they were sort of letting me live with them, but it 513 00:38:07.039 --> 00:38:10.320 was real clear that I wasn't part of the group in any way. On 514 00:38:10.360 --> 00:38:15.039 the eleventh day, I took a hard look at the groceries I had left, 515 00:38:15.079 --> 00:38:19.679 and I was awfully disappointed with what I saw. If I made myself 516 00:38:19.719 --> 00:38:22.519 be careful, I had maybe three days worth of food left, and then 517 00:38:22.559 --> 00:38:27.360 I was going to need to make a decision either go and figure out some 518 00:38:27.440 --> 00:38:30.360 way to get more food or just go. And I didn't know what I 519 00:38:30.400 --> 00:38:36.679 wanted to do the most. I was missing your grandmother and your father, 520 00:38:37.000 --> 00:38:39.760 just awful. But I had never been at such a peace as I had 521 00:38:39.840 --> 00:38:45.880 been since coming to that strange little valley. No one harped at me about 522 00:38:45.920 --> 00:38:50.719 anything, and no one expected anything from me. I had learned to appreciate 523 00:38:50.760 --> 00:38:54.760 those grunts and rumbles when they did say anything. I liked seeing the older 524 00:38:54.800 --> 00:39:00.159 ones correct the younger ones with just a look. I just liked being around 525 00:39:00.199 --> 00:39:05.719 them, and I think they liked me being around at least they never gave 526 00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:09.960 any indication to the contrary. On the twelfth day, I was sitting at 527 00:39:09.960 --> 00:39:14.719 the edge of my hole, eating the last pack of crackers while waiting on 528 00:39:14.800 --> 00:39:17.800 all of them to come back after their night hunt, and I waited and 529 00:39:17.840 --> 00:39:22.119 I waited, and I waited all day without a sign of them. Then 530 00:39:22.159 --> 00:39:27.440 I fell asleep, figuring they must have had to range farther than usual, 531 00:39:27.519 --> 00:39:30.679 that I would see them again the next morning. But they never came back. 532 00:39:32.360 --> 00:39:38.199 That quiet and lonesome valley really had become quiet and lonesome. I gave 533 00:39:38.280 --> 00:39:43.159 them until noon, and then I shoved all those empty cans into a sack 534 00:39:43.239 --> 00:39:46.159 and I walked up the bank into the woods. I walked slow, because 535 00:39:46.199 --> 00:39:52.320 this wasn't the way I had wanted or expected the experience to end. But 536 00:39:52.360 --> 00:39:57.159 they, for some reason had moved on better hunting, or maybe they just 537 00:39:57.320 --> 00:40:01.800 never put down roots anywhere for very long, whatever the reason, they had 538 00:40:01.880 --> 00:40:06.800 left after allowing me to spend time with them, and I went home, 539 00:40:06.960 --> 00:40:12.199 and I sneaked my way into the backyard and I secreted myself away in amongst 540 00:40:12.199 --> 00:40:16.320 the hedge row. I had some thinking to do, and for some reason, 541 00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:22.079 I couldn't make my thoughts come together during the walk. I had to 542 00:40:22.119 --> 00:40:27.039 decide if I ever wanted to go back to that place again. On the 543 00:40:27.079 --> 00:40:30.280 one hand, I didn't want to go there and find it empty. But 544 00:40:30.400 --> 00:40:32.679 on the other hand, I didn't want to go and see those things there 545 00:40:32.679 --> 00:40:37.599 and learn that they had stayed away until I had left because they were tired 546 00:40:37.639 --> 00:40:40.320 of me being there with them, but they didn't know how to tell me 547 00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:46.119 to go away. The answer to what I decided is that I never went 548 00:40:46.239 --> 00:40:52.079 back again, and I never told anyone where that valley full of giants was. 549 00:40:52.440 --> 00:40:57.360 I'm not going to either, so don't even ask. I also had 550 00:40:57.400 --> 00:41:00.079 to decide on how much to tell my family, or if I should say 551 00:41:00.159 --> 00:41:05.920 anything at all. After just leaving. I wondered if it would be in 552 00:41:06.039 --> 00:41:08.880 their best interest that I just moved on and let them do without me. 553 00:41:09.519 --> 00:41:15.280 And what I had done had been so very selfish, and though that eleven 554 00:41:15.360 --> 00:41:17.599 days was worth a million dollars to me, it was wrong of me to 555 00:41:17.639 --> 00:41:22.519 do it as I did. I was still trying to choose on what I 556 00:41:22.559 --> 00:41:25.679 should do when I saw the back door opening, your grandmother and your father 557 00:41:25.840 --> 00:41:31.599 came out. Your grandmother was wearing her dress and apron like she always did, 558 00:41:31.599 --> 00:41:36.159 but she was putting on a myth that I always wore when your father 559 00:41:36.239 --> 00:41:39.960 and I played catch. She was trying to wear her shoes and fill mine 560 00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:45.320 at the same time, and when I saw her miss five easy catches in 561 00:41:45.360 --> 00:41:50.519 a row, I stood up and walked to where they were. They didn't 562 00:41:50.559 --> 00:41:53.039 run from me, but neither did they run to me. And I asked 563 00:41:53.039 --> 00:41:57.159 them to sit down, and we all did right there on the grass, 564 00:41:57.199 --> 00:42:01.280 and I told them what I've told you. Neither one believed me, even 565 00:42:01.320 --> 00:42:07.519 as dirty and as unshaven as I was. Your grandmother accused me of being 566 00:42:07.519 --> 00:42:12.920 with another woman, and after hearing her say that, your father took her 567 00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:17.000 side and called me names that I didn't know he even knew yet. I 568 00:42:17.039 --> 00:42:21.480 slept on the back porch for more than a week, and when it rained, 569 00:42:21.519 --> 00:42:25.079 I slept under the porch. Eventually, your grandmother and I had long 570 00:42:25.280 --> 00:42:29.880 talked, and even though she never forgave me or came to believe me, 571 00:42:30.519 --> 00:42:34.199 she chose to work past what I had done for the sake of the family. 572 00:42:34.760 --> 00:42:38.760 But your father did not. For five more years we lived together, 573 00:42:39.079 --> 00:42:44.719 and he would speak to me only when it was absolutely necessary, and as 574 00:42:44.719 --> 00:42:47.320 soon as he was able to, he moved out and he never spoke to 575 00:42:47.360 --> 00:42:52.320 me again. He would keep in contact with your grandmother that he thought so 576 00:42:52.480 --> 00:42:57.320 much of, but he never could tolerate the hurt I'd put them through, 577 00:42:57.880 --> 00:43:01.880 or the lie he believed I had told them. I regret daily that things 578 00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:07.239 worked out as they did, but I will never regret living with those creatures 579 00:43:07.400 --> 00:43:12.360 as I did for nearly two weeks. I believe myself to have been given 580 00:43:12.480 --> 00:43:17.360 a very rare gift. Unfortunately, I lost one rare gift on the accepting 581 00:43:17.559 --> 00:43:24.199 of another. That was what my grandfather told me that day when I was 582 00:43:24.360 --> 00:43:30.000 thirteen, and I chose in to believe him, and I have not changed 583 00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:35.119 my mind on all that in all these years. I only went back to 584 00:43:35.159 --> 00:43:37.679 see him a couple of more times before I heard my mother whispering to my 585 00:43:37.800 --> 00:43:43.559 father one morning that she had read in the newspaper where my grandfather had passed 586 00:43:43.599 --> 00:43:49.239 away in his sleep. My father made no comment before walking away, and 587 00:43:49.320 --> 00:43:54.639 he did not attend his funeral. This is the story I have kept inside 588 00:43:54.679 --> 00:44:00.599 for nearly fifty years. And now you know the story of the Alley of 589 00:44:00.679 --> 00:44:05.719 the Giants. Think of it what you will. I made my mind up 590 00:44:05.760 --> 00:44:07.760 about it a long time ago.