Oh it's on. Hi, Hey guys, what's happening? Welcome to Laura
Kane after Dark. We love that you have tuned in. We love that
you listen and watch, and we are very appreciative, especially after Tuesday night,
I mean Monday night. Tuesday. Oh my god, Wow, the
roasts. We'll get to that in a minute. You were savage. You're
in trouble? Who you? Oh? I haven't even gotten started. I'm
still going to roast you tonight. Are you for real? Yeah? You
have one more left? I do? Is there a bad one? Oh?
Yeah, I didn't want to say it. Why didn't you say it
last night? Because my daughter was here? Oh boy, this isn't gonna
be good. So I was saving the best for loft. But again,
let's you know what down to producer Brian, because in my opinion, that
was brilliance. Well I tried my best, so was the best one.
It was the roastiest of the roasts, I believe it was. I was
sweating, so take a shower. You were stopping what you're back? I
was stopping away. I had to go home and take a shower afterwards,
and I had boob sweat. All you did I took a Carol last night
too. Okay, anyway, okay, I want to thank Alotte Restaurants.
Yes, thank you are providing the corn, the elotes for everybody that came.
And why don't we run their commercial right now because I want you guys
to know more about Alotte Restaurants sponsor on the Laura Cane After Dur podcast.
We'd like to welcome to the podcast Alotte Restaurants. Oh my goodness, your
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It is seventeen sixty East Valley Parkway and is located in the Valley Plaza.
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forget about it. Stuffed potatoes, potatoes, it's so fun. On Instagram
find them at Alotte Restaurant. I am hungry already now. I know we've
been talking about Jay Wartzler Capital Growth, Inc. For gosh six months now.
He's been our number one sponsor and a great He's become a great friend
of ours, Yes he has. And I want to give you if you
are just now listening. Maybe you don't know who is Jay Wartzler. What's
Capital Growth Inc? This is what it is, Okay, Jay Wartzler,
great guy, quality person and Capital Growth Inc. Have been actively managing client
retirement assets for decades thirty five years as a matter of fact, in counting
to reduce volatility and provide consistent income. That's something I that's music to my
ears. I aspire to that. Yes. So also, if you're changing
jobs and you're unsure of what your options are for your four one K I
talk about this a lot with some of my friends, Like it's kind of
confusing. What do you do? How do you roll it over when you
change jobs? What do you put it into? That's what Jay is best
at or pensions going forward. He can inform you of all the many options
do you have available for that kind of thing. And if you are near
retirement and you want to know, hey, am I going to have enough
money to live comfortably to do what I want? Maybe you can travel and
pay the bills and how just have sufficient assets? Jay works learns your guy,
Yes, because you're going to be able to need to in your retirement
still be able to shop at home goods and oh no, in my retirement,
I'm still going to need to do my nails now, my lashes,
my botox, my hair extensions, my hair color. Oh right, what
else? God, your side of the bed is going to be a mess.
There's so many things I am expensive to keep up. It's not funny,
you are. It's expensive to be you can you well? Anyway,
we'll get back to Jay. Jay is a wonderful, wonderful person. And
you know what, even though you may think, oh my god, he
only deals with millionaires or people have tons of money, he told me that
his basic wish is to help people, just help people and guide them.
So if you have any questions, call him. Okay, now the number
I didn't write, Oh, here's his number, write down here. We
shouldn't memorize this. By now I have memorized. Okay, what is it?
It is eight five eight five five two six nine six zero. And
his email is good too. It is jayw at Capital Growth Inc. Dot
com. And the man has a website. Give it to me www dot
Capitol Growthing dot com which is linked to our website. So if you missed
any of this, just go to Lori Kane after dark scroll to the bottom
right there, you can't miss it. Thank you, Jay Wurtzler. J.
You are a great person and we appreciate you sponsoring Oh my goa.
We have a couple of new sponsors coming up in the next couple of minutes,
which we are very excited about, so be prepared to get excited with
us. I don't know what's wrong for me tonight. I don't I need
to take a drink. I love water. Crown. You look like you're
wearing. Oh I noticed that on some of our videos, Like Eric looks
like he's wearing He's a prince. He's a little prince. Prince Harry.
Now I'm like Prince Harry chest I got another neon sign that says queen,
and I didn't know whether to put it over you or me. Oh so
I just didn't put it up. Well because I like the crown. I
think it's better with the crown. I have a lot of neon that I
have not put up yet. You do. I think I'm a little obsessed.
This is a little much as as it is a little. I think
it's cool to change up the set every once in a while, right,
bolutely, So I have various things. Remember we started with one little hard
and a little rainbow had an alien head. Now we've got sexy women,
we've got a money sign, we've got all sources of stuff. We do
rug on the wall. Just wait, it's gonna get even crazy sex toys
or something. I don't know what I want to do that sex toys show.
Yeah, I've had the hardest time getting somebody who will come in here
and bring in the toys to demonstrate them, not on us, obviously,
but just how they know, just how they work and that kind of thing.
And I've tried three police. She's like, good, I have tried
three place. Wait a minute, aren't there people out there that do it
in their home? Like yeah, yeah, probably. Actually I didn't even
think about that route. No, no sex solid or a sex therapist or
something. He's talking about people throw um sex toy parties. Yeah, there's
those are called orgies. No, there's a company. I forgot what it's
called. I forget what it's called too. I know what you're saying.
Maybe that is our route, because I think they get a little um worried
right when it comes down to showtime, and then I get ghosted. Yeah.
So I just have to. I'm going to keep trying because it was
a request from one of our listeners to do a little vibrator that could,
which I've never even owned. But after the sex toy thing, maybe yeah,
it'll teach me something. You might. You might just short circuit the
whole neighborhood. It'd be a power outage. I'll guarantee you up in this
place. That will be a future podcast or electricity bills about the sky.
Right, seriously, it already look at all we put on every day every
week anyway. Okay, so let's just say that our roasts were great.
They were. I will rank them in the following way. I'm number three
on the list. I thought mine were good and I had some zingers you
did they were good. Yeah, I felt like I was really mean,
but apparently I wasn't mean enough meaning at all. Okay, learning learning my
first roast, I believe that Eric was number two. He had some great
one liners like really good um and not a lot of fluff which was great
and wow, like some of them were really um. I was not offended.
I actually laughed because I know you love me and I don't mean these
things. I love you very much. Then we have the clear winner.
Oh man, which Brian. I don't even think he knew his talent for
doing. I don't either. I think you don't think I have a talent.
Really right for roasts was exactly what the roast should have been. It
went deep, it went inappropriate, It crossed boundaries, it cross lines.
My couch isn't even speaking to me. That is fantastic. Oh my god,
the thing about that couch, Oh my god, hysterical. It is
so funny. Do it yourself a favor. I'm not even kidding. If
you've not checked out Tuesday's podcasts, it's now on. It's on all podcast
platforms, it's on YouTube. You have to listen to these roasts they were
you'll get to know us a little bit better. Maybe not in like the
greatest way possible, but I just think that that was great. If anybody
comes over to my house, they're certainly not gonna want to sit down on
my couch. Oh no, oh no, that's right. Yeah, I
was sitting on your couch the other night. I thought of that. I
was like, oh no, I was saking pregnant. Godd no, remember
my last egg is ut? Yeah? Whatever rolled out of my body all
old and shriveled. So I thought it was great. Listen, it was
fun. Congratulations Brian, thank you for being here. Thank you, thank
you. So after the podcast um, which we do tape on Monday nights
because we do a live stream on Mondays, I needed some fresh air because
I was so sweaty from the rose, and by fresh air she means a
shopping trip. Did I tell you where I was going? Yeah? Yes,
you wouldn't show up about it. Why am I forgetting? Do you
remember? I think Brian and I were threatening to go buy it so that
you couldn't do it and you were getting upset. Yeah, you mentioned it
before and after the show. Wow. No, yes you don't know.
Oh wow, that that kind you know what? No, now it might
be the medication. Now do you think this is a side effect of like
the coming off of Andrea Presents? Or maybe I'm just a forgetful person.
Change it to Loupie Kane after dark? You know what? Right there,
right there, you could have inserted no lawrence because you're getting freakings so old?
Did you remember that you owe me five hundred dollars? I would have
remembered that I beg to different. I remember when you told him. I
thought, oh, yes, that's right. See Brian remembers he was right
there. Oh we did get a whopping payment from UM, the site where
we launch our podcast, because they run ads on our podcast. So get
ready because you're about to get a portion of sixty eight dollars. Oh that's
actually not that bad. I mean, look, it's money coming in,
yeah, like from something we're creating. AD Sense revenues terrible. So let's
say that's the fact that's a non zero amount is pretty good. Yeah,
really, yeah, that's due to our millions of followers. Oh my god.
So get ready. I already been mood. You didn't I did.
She still can't figure out how many people listen on I know on those sites.
We'll have to do it for you, seriously, do I want to
know? Yes? Yeah, of course, Brian, you do it because
what if I don't like the numbers then and I'm sad about it? Well,
it's more than zeros, I mean, well, I sure hope.
So, because you know, it's funny. When I post on YouTube the
Thursday podcast, I'll go, oh my gosh, we already had two views,
like right when I post it, and then I realized, wait,
those are me Because I had to go back and check some things. I'm
like, oh crap, we're not as cool as we think we are.
Damn it. Anyway, So everybody left. Eric stayed for a little while.
We talked with Evan, and then Ross closes at eleven. So Evan
and I get in the car at ten fifteen and we had to go down
and I had to get these chairs that I've had on hold because they only
hold them one day until it closes and they stick them back onto the floor.
Brian, what are you going to insult my chairs? Um? I
have a question for um. When we saw these in the store, what
about them? Jumped out? Okay, two things, Okay. I wanted
Sherpa chairs. Why because I love the little fuzziness of it, and I
think it's a cool look and I like texture. Okay, did you buy
a sweater or shaver? Nobody? Scotch guarded it. Okay, So hopefully
the stains which will be there within a week I'm sure from my ball sweat
well because they're white. Yes, I plan on sweating all over that those
things. Anyway, I thought that they were kind of a cool design and
they're small because my place is not big, and I felt like the other
chairs I had were a little too big for our place. I the fact
that they're a little smaller, they fit this room a little bit better.
It brightens up the room, because this is our house gets kind of dark
during the day because not a little some light comes in. So I felt
like, instead of having dark chairs, now I have white chairs. Does
that answer your question? Sure? Sure, I know you don't like them
anymore. I don't care. Honestly, I don't have an opinion on them.
You one hundred percent. I mean entirely honest I do not have an
opinion on one hundred percent have some kind of opinion. That's the crazy part.
They're comfortable, they're fine. You either like them or you don't.
Yeah, totally totally indifferent. Wow, anyway, if you're asking me to
shoot on them, okay, I will, but I don't have no.
I just don't believe whatever, you know what. I don't care. I'll
think I'll think of some mean things to say and I'll get back to you.
No, I don't even care anymore. But I like them and that's
all that matters. Kind of ugly, Oh, I don't give a shit,
shut up, so I can't scratch you too. Be quiet. So
we went down there, and we were hungry on the way, so we
had to stop by McDonald's to get a shake and some fries because that's what
we were craving. Then we pull into us because it's about ten forty.
We get to us, all the gates were up chained closed. It was
Memorial Day. Of course they closed early. I didn't even think about that
they closed early, so I missed the deadline. So I called this morning.
Somehow these ugly chairs still end up in your living room. I called
this morning and I said, hey, are those chairs still on hold?
And she's like, I don't see any chairs back here in the dressing area.
So no, they're back on the floor. And I was like,
oh crap, they're gonna be gone. So we get two ross Today's.
I had to get there as fast as possible because I knew they were gonna
be gone. So we get to the little furniture section, which was kind
of the middle of the store. They just kind of pile a bunch of
furnitures. There's no rhyme or reason. They were stacked on top of each
other, just in this one area. But I saw him and I was
like, la, la la la. There they are nobody bottom. Okay,
here's the only genuine insult I have about them. Oh my god.
The rest is over like looking out with them, They're not that bad.
I just don't understand why you would go to such lengths to get them,
because the Sherbet chairs that I had priced previously on other stores were way more
expensive. Right, No, I never looked at Shean. These were a
little under one hundred and thirty dollars, right, I get that. I
just like for these, this is what you were running around town for,
Yeah, making late night trips. Yeah, you know what? You know
something about me. I do know a lot of things about you. When
I get something in my head that I want or I think I want,
it's exciting. It's a chase. I want it, I get it,
and now I have them, and I'm satisfied. It might be a sickness,
it is. Yeah, I don't know if you should replace your show
shopping. Which camera can't we use to show the chairs? We have to
show the chairs now so people can actually see here. Pick up your little
camera to show the chairs. They're shirp of material. Which is the kind
of stuff you find on the back of like a blanket or a jacket or
something Kim Kardashian would wear. They're super comfortable and Brian Jones can just go
right on ahead. I'll sit all right on them. Then, you know
that's fine. Anyway, enough about I don't hate them, all right,
thank you? You know the chairs, Eric, what do you think about
them? Yeah? Eric, And you know what, after the rose yesterday,
I don't give one flying you know what. I get the sense these
would not match the aesthetic in his apartment. Oh hell no, he would
never. What is your aesthetic? H Mine is a lot of gray with
pops of orange? Are classic? Super masculine? Yes? Would? Oh,
a lot of would? Yeah? All right, mean Eric, we
get it. Very classy and classic and yeah, and this is monkey kind
of bow holy Southwestern Austin powers orgy. Not really sure if it's a man
or woman you're sleeping with regardless. Oh I do not get Austin power vibes
from those, Oh I do? Yeah? Oh yeah, I get Austin
powers from this reminds me of it reminds me I think from the second one,
like Barbarella, the photo shoot where he's doing with those chicks. This
is like, this is the vibe. I get that scene. Okay,
now this is not interesting to anybody. For any horn music playing, it
would be awesome one opinion, since we're talking about right now, and then
I'll shut up about the chairs. See that little cute southwest uh foot?
Yes? Should I get they had a matching one? Should I get another
one for the other chair? Now, it's really not what if the person
wants to put their feet up in their city? Okay, No one who
says in this chair really needs to put their feet up. It's not that
type of chair. So just one is enough. It would be too much.
This chair is more for decoration than this. This house is going to
look like Sandford and Sun again. All right. I won't get the matching
one. It looks like a consignment store in here. One of the reasons
is because the entire freaking living room has been turned into our studio. Hello,
I haven't been able to make it look good, damn you. I
said the roast was over, but I did bring this on myself, so
I'm not. I can't blame anybody, But if I didn't think I could
love Brian anymore, Oh god. I love consignment stores. I love the
one in downtown consignment classics. Hilarious. Oh my god, and your chairs
would not well, actually that your chairs would sitting there either. Well,
at least they're new. Who knows. Oh, I had them up at
the front while I was paying for them. We brought them up to the
very front near the registers and I was getting out my wallet, and this
big lady comes around and sits on one of them. She's resting her feet
and she sits in one of the chairs, my chairs, with her bags.
It just sits down. And at first I'm like, those are my
chairs. Are just paid for them. So I just looked at un like,
excuse me, I go, I just bought those chairs. And she's
like, oh, I'm so sorry. And then I felt really bad.
I'm like, it's okay, you know what, you take involved it down.
I felt so bad. But then I don't want somebody sitting in my
new chairs because I want them to be fresh. It's like, if you
want to buy them, you can come to my living room. I've got
a little little gig going on there. You want to ride? Do you
want to come sit on them in my living room? Stop it all right,
that's my We've also got this lovely new table for a low low price
of eighty nine dollars. Fans interested, No, it was one night and
this brand new sectional we just got this piece in the sectionals old. Not
to our customers, it's not. Oh god, oh my god, don't
be selling all my furniture. Hey, we gotta make room for our podcast
studio in here. I sold those two chairs that were here just about two
hours ago. I thought they were pretty comfy. Well, they were old
and rickety, and I've had them few years. I guess what I needed
to change, and I sold them for about half of what I bought them
for, which is good because I've had it for two years. Sure,
let me ask you this. If I were to show you these Sherpa chairs
and I were you didn't and you didn't know they were from Ross, where
would you guess they were from? I actually would guess they were from somewhere
like Lawrence. Do you know we're Lawrences in Hillcrest Or. I would even
say living spaces. No, they're from Ross. They're definitely from Ross.
No, Brian, No they're not. These aren't even home goods. These
are Ross maybe Marshalls No, j Max Groad Sale, Facebook Marketplace. I
rebuke you. I would think that they were probably from post, could easily
be from home Ikea. These could be from my keya for sure. Okay,
I'll give you. I would think that they might be from somewhere like
Lawrence. Yeah, definitely not living spaces. No, maybe maybe wayfair in
their clearance section, what is that to being the This is basically a stool
with a wraparound. Like we're gonna have to post like a major picture of
this when we post this podcast. Obviously we should. We should get a
selfie of all of us sitting. And like I said, they're not bad.
They're just chairs, you know, Oh okay, after you've just shit
all over them. Yeah, at least they're Scotch garden. To be fair,
I wasn't trying to shoot on them. I was more shitting on you.
But no, and I it was my fault. I asked you to
do that. So yeah, there you go, All right, enough enough
of the chairs. Do you have something? Oh? I know what you're
gonna do. I do. I don't know how I feel about this now
because I'm a little bit tender after the chair talk are you strike with the
irons? Yeah, exactly, like a like a panther. We'll tell everybody
what you're thinking about doing right now. Well, I with my roasting,
my savage roasting of you and Brian. Last night, I left one out
when our lovely Evan was sitting in the front row. So you didn't want
to say something about me that would because she's my daughter and she's young,
and okay, yes, so you're thinking about saying it now, yes,
Oh my god, bring it on. I've got one too. Actually,
oh my gosh, this is an awesome deal. That was not the deal.
Mine's kind of mean too, but freaking bring it. Oh my god.
I've already cried today, so I'm good. Why do you cry?
I was talking about having I was telling somebody it's a long story. We're
talking about God, and I talked about having a baby and how after that
I believed in God. And I cried because I remembered having a baby.
It's not because it was not because it's the wrong type of Saffa. He's
just Saffi. It was nothing like I was sad about anything. Oh okay,
okay, go ahead. If you weren't older than fifty five. I
would have asked, if you're on your period? Will you please stop saying
my age? I would love it if that could just go under the radar.
I'm sorry you missed a great joke there. I'm sure it's held it
because all I heard was fifty five. Yeah, anyways, say it again,
then repeated. If you weren't old as shit, I would have asked,
if you're on your period? Oh yeah, that ship sailed a long
time exactly. All right, I have more that one I came up with
on the spot. All right, are you ready? Do we have a
drum roll? I don't think we need we need a drum roll? All
right, we'll use that. I'll put a drum roll on there. Oh
god, god, Laura Kane. Yes, you have slept with so many
men that if you were to slide down a banister naked, it would sound
like a round of applause. Gross and pretty good. Excuse me, excuse
me. I would like to announce that down there is in very good shape,
so suck it. She's not refuting that she slept with that many guys.
There, No, I'm not, but actually there, I don't know
if I want to know, I had two c serians, nothing ever came
out of here, So it's pretty damn that is as tight as a drum.
Definitely not. You're not wrong about the other thing makes you want to
pay play babaloo on your congo drum. I didn't even know what that,
man, but I'm not even gonna laugh at it. Oh my god,
Oh my god. All right, thank you. I'm glad you did leave
that up, because yes, yes, I didn't need Evan knowing that.
All right, Brian, how don't you go ahead and turn the camera on
yourself And it's just actually I'm gonna keep it. I'm actually gonna keep it
on you because it will make sense in a second. Oh. I was
just gonna say that when you look at the wall behind you, you see
a lot of things, you know, you see a couple of sexy ladies,
and that's for Lord to remind everyone that she's still, in fact is
a woman, and she got this giant cat on the wall, and that's
remind people she does still in fact have a pussy. That was a little
more crap. That was a little crass from my but that's why I left
it out. I like the word pussy. It's kind of fun to say
it's not naughty. It's naughty. Yeah, it's honestly, I don't even
have a problem to be naughty. It's just really like, it's the wrong
type of crass. It's not funny crass. You know, have I don't
know if you've ever tried to talk dirty, well, you won't be able
to relate to this, because I don't think you would never say, oh
I want I want you in my pussy like you would have never. But
anyway, it's a different term for I am not a good sex talker.
I can imagine that you do like a radio announcer voice no, but I
coming up next. You've got this panis going into my I can't because I
can't see. I can't even see the word panties like that. That is
almost like too like much for me. Saying pussy is like, really,
I don't like that word, man, Like saying hawk is kind of hard.
So like saying all those together doing stuff like, I'm not good at
it. I'm just not good at it. She was Laura's like, um,
stick it in. She's like, oh wait a minute, no,
I just like the Grande Vanilla latte. I forgot where I was your penis
looks good. I'd like that somewhere near my under my belly button, the
thing that's under my belly button, you know, down there. Oh my
god, I don't know. I'd be so bad where I put my sweet
m's wife right down there. I do. I do agree. Cock and
pussy are kind of like in a separate category of weird, just like a
little I'm yeah. I mean, if you're using the right words, they're
funny. I kind of like cocking balls. That's all right, Oh yeah,
that was funny. Let me ask you this on the same kind of
topic. Would you rather have your members referred to as wiener no, penis,
no dick, no, or you like dick? I feel like everyone
uses dick, dick or cock? Yeah? Give me your wiener sounds small,
yeah, or like a four year old yeah, true, And penis
sounds very medicinal, yes, anatomical? Yeah, But then what you call
people dick sometimes? So like do you want it? It's a different contact.
Yeah, but a cock sounds like a big one to me. Uh
yeah, but in the wrong context. Is there another term I'm missing?
I would just say dick, okay, because it's so common now, like
just it feels like it's almost replaced. Laura's like, oh, baby,
give me your mighty sequoia. Okay, well, what term would you use
for the opposite morrifous? So what are what are the terms? Meat flaps?
No, they're not flappy either, missing, spam, cassinetts, hatchet,
wound. You're the wrong person, ask you are crashed, dusty fall
space. Well it is dusty girls, baby canal, spider farm in my
case, I don't know. But what are there besides like, besides vaginage,
there's the really c word. I don't like that that's the only curse.
Or I don't like to say, yeah, yeah, that's an insult.
That's just trashy, that's a mean insult. Yeah, is there anything
else? And we're not we're not. I think we're forgetting something, but
that I don't really know. Oh, I don't want vagina. I don't
vagina, coucci, I hate cucccc No, I'm not happy with that.
I guess fussy. Yeah, if I have to pick one, you're like,
God, damn, there and visit the little man in the boat the
balloon knot, that's your butt hole. Dante's Seven Circles of fell Your balloon
n your butthole? No, yes, what's when you can the term balloon
knot as in a sexual nature? What your butthole? I don't. Oh
yeah, I know you're talking about it's the it's yes, it is,
and pink starfish, that's your butthole. I want you to get out your
phone right now. And you know why it's called balloon not right because it
looks I know. Yes, Then what you think balloon not means? I
thought it meant like the little man in the boat kind of thing. No,
all right, I want you to google other words. Okay, oh
Cli, there's no other words for it, little man in the boat click?
Okay. Besides, no one calls it that. That's what I'm asking.
That's an extre No, that's not like a just a nickname. Let's
see what comes up. Okay, balloon knot slang? Hello, bulgar the
anus, Oh ouch, good bye? Okay, take you and your balloon
knot out of here. So let's see slang. Okay, slang four,
Clint, I'm gonna have to make this one is explicit already. Yeah,
we went really deep on this one. I'm marked this week's also explicit.
What here's some um be wait for safe for Clint, it's bean. Oh
I've heard that one little man in the boat button. Oh, actually i've
heard. I think I've heard about you, Clint. The happy button and
the devil's doorbell. That's a good one. I like my little button.
Would you would you like to ring my devil's doorbell? Someone jet the door?
Oh my god, totally gone off topic we have we're still roasting each
other. I think we aren't the bald man in the boat? Oh are
we done? Happy? But the knob. The only other roast I have
was for the entire show, and it's just the LCA D stands for lots
of cock and dick. Oh that's good most well, yeah, I'm true.
Little cock and doorbell your your love button. That's another one that'll be
you know what? Next week? What is LCADS down for. We're gonna
think about it and you're gonna come up with three things that stands it for?
Okay, next week. I don't want to be put on the spot
because I want to do something good. You do, Kay, Laura can
achieve? Dick, Laura can no? I see there's something. There's a
good nugget right here. We'll do it. Maybe we'll do it next week.
Okay, you never gone to your double ds? No, I'm gonna
do that right now. Okay, good because we took a long time with
those rows and it was all about Brian yesterday, so you know it was
It's fine, it's fine. We didn't get to the doubles. So let's
play a little music. Get it going on? This just in? What?
Oh? Was I taking too? Law? Yeah? This just in
Alpacci. Remember a few weeks ago, Robert de Niro, seventy nine years
old, had a baby with his girlfriend Jeffany chen Well al Paccino. Not
to be outdone at eighty two, his girlfriend, who's twenty nine, is
eight months pregnant. Her name is Nora Alfala. They've been together since April
of last year, twenty twenty two. She has the girlfriend. Nora has
also been linked with Mick Jagger, who's seventy nine and sixty one year old
billionaire Nicholas berg Wren. She must be smoking? Is that her first kid?
I didn't say. Now think about it, Butchina will be a hundred
when the kid is eighteen. He might not even make it to his kid's
first steps. I mean, in reality, I mean, you know,
things can happen when you're in your eighties. It doesn't seem fair, but
that kid will have the hell of an endowment. That kid's going, well,
you're right, yes, oh, yes, most definitely. Tina Turner
died at eighty three. Now why did she die? So they haven't just
closed her there was something else. I think they haven't just closed how she
died. But she had a stroke in twenty thirteen, intestinal cancer in twenty
sixteen, and then a kidney transplant in twenty seventeen. Wow, And they
just printed an interview with her that was taken because you know, she ran
anounced her American citizenship and just moved to Switzerland. I did not know that
with her husband. So and she said in this interview that she could walk
in the streets and she lived right around the corner from this little Italian restaurant.
She went in there all the time and no one bothered her. And
this is Tina Turner, like, nobody asked for autographs, nobody asked for
picture is nothing. This is the end of her life. Yeah. So
then she had a good end of her life. She had a great and
that's why she moved to Switzerland. She's like, I've done everything I need
to do, so that's where I'm going, okay, And she was married
and they in the interview she said she was diagnosed with hypertension very early on
and she never did anything about it, and that's what caused all the kidney
problems. So I don't know if it was that. They haven't disclosed what
it was yet, but that was really sad. I loved her and she
was one of the best concerts I have ever seen. I saw I saw
her in La Wow and she was in her seventies at the time, and
she was It was Rags final show before she real went over Across Wow.
So um. Also sad news. Seling Dion canceled her world tour and most
likely will not tour again because of the illness that she has. Oh man,
Yeah, and it's a throat thing. It's affecting her ability to sing,
which is so la doesn't she have that like thing where she's turning into
stone? Who's that? What? There is an illness where you your body
just turns okay talking, it's where your bone development never stopped. So diffuse,
I'm wondering is she the one that has that there's a celebrity that does
have that. I'm not sure, but I know what she has is just
debilitating, like it's very painful. And yeah, you saw her too,
No, I never did. Never did see that in Vegas. No,
I went through. She was here twice and then I went to Vegas to
see her or was going to and she was ill. Oh, so every
time I went to see her, I had tickets and everything, and the
concerts were canceled. So she's one of the only ones that I haven't seen.
I've seen just about everybody else. You know who Benedict Cumberbatches, Yes,
a knife welding chef broke into his family's home and was screaming at them
and everything. So yeah, on that note, I read that some dude
broke into Owen Wilson's home and all the guy did was going too his drawer,
put on his pajamas and walk around until the police got there because the
alarms were going on. He didn't take anything. Yeah, the guy didn't
take anything. He was just screaming at everybody. Creepy and to be a
celebrity that would be terrifying. Yeah, Well, my name was a chef
and he had a knife that sun I would have just said, hey,
can you make me dinner? Maybe that's what you were screening. Bay.
He's like, I'm going to cook you something real. Yeah, okay,
So now we have to talk about two shows. Oh god. The first
one I watched in one evening. I came home from the podcast, just
sat down to relax, turn on Netflix season six of Selling Sunset. Oh.
I was up till one thirty in the morning. Eric, it was
great time. This is a show. You know, I watch all this
show. I watched Vanderpop, I do the whole thing. I've not been
able to get into this show, and now I feel like I can't because
I don't want to go all the way back to season one. It has
to go through the whole thing. This is one of those shows that you
have to because it establishes the character. So then you look at talking about
this. Oh my god, it is so good. One chick marry another
chick, yes, okay, yes, well they're not married. Okay,
she was. She was married to the actor that was on This Is Us
and then he dumped her for some other chick, and then she all of
a sudden was like, oh, I'm a lesbian So those two dudes that
own the Yeah Twine with their big teeth and bald heads. Is it a
reality show or is it? No? It's like it's like a vander Pump
Rules, but it's it's in would be reality. Yeah, it's reality.
Yeah yeah, Um, all right, if I once I finish a couple
of things I need to finish. So there's a character that they introduced back
in. Her name is Nicole, and she and Chrishell who's the girl name.
She was the one that was married to Justin whatever that was on This
is Us. They're both very pretty and this is the thing I love about
the show. The houses are just secondary. It's called selling Sunset. It's
all about real estate. It's just a prop. It's all about the women.
It's only women. They're employed by them. They've dated a couple of
them. The brother has You know why I have problems watching these kind of
shows and housewives. I just get too jealous. I get too envious that
these people have all this money to buy these beautiful This is the best thing.
The clothes, the wardrobe for this show must be astronomical because they're all
in Gucci and find the product. But this is my favorite part is the
women all way about four pounds of their upper thighs don't meet at all,
so it's it looks just like any gap. Oh yeah, there's no thigh
gap. They and they teeter around on these heels that are ten inches high.
On one of the shows, one of the new girls who looks just
like Naomi Campbell. I am obsessed with her. She is great. Um.
She shows up for they're having a girl's trip in Palm Springs. She
gets out of the the you know vehicle, the car that brings her there,
and she's all in white and she's in like big huge snow boots with
fur and like a crop top and a miniskirt and it's a five hundred degrees
in Palm Springs. By the way, Brian has completely too. He's like,
oh my god, but if you have not so anyway, this Nicole
is a total bitch. And now she's getting death threats. Oh my god,
Bryan's to mature for this. She's not. Oh man, I was
all I don't like reality TV was so good. It's not reality. Don't
you like to just leave your brain like on the shelf and just watch something
that's just mindless? Yeah, but I don't watch reality. What do you
watch that's mindless? To just to not think? Is there anything? Don't
if you tell me something smart, I'm gonna right now. I'm watching Suits.
Okay, okay, I just finished better call Saul not too smart.
Oh sorry, no that's not that's not brain dummy. Um. Suits,
I'll give you that. Suits isn't that. But it's we're getting there.
So I have I have three that I just it's just when I don't want
to have to think about idea, I don't want to have to read any
I don't want to do anything. I watch my Judge Judy. Okay,
I hate Judge. No, that's his queen. No, Judge duty is
the worst. No, she's not a good judge. La la la,
don't do that to him, Judge. I can turn myself up. Your
headphones, I'll turn me up. Oh. I love my Judge Judy shine
Lin. She's the worst. She is. She makes so much money to
work like two hours a year, and that she is one smart lady.
Better she's also she ran to everybody. Man. I love Judy, Judge,
Judy. If you can hear me, I love you all right,
So that one Judge Judy Vanderpunk Rules, well, yeah, and selling.
Okay, now, why don't you watch Vanderpunk Rules? Same thing? Okay,
first of all, it's stupid. No, the people on it.
I'm just stupid. I have to put my head on the desk. He
just doesn't understand. No, I no, I don't understand the Okay,
lets you watch a new shows. They aren't mindless yet, Like I can't
say Yellow Jackets to show on Netflix the other day. Forgot the name about
a man who is trying to prove there was an ancient civilization that was more
advanced than any history books have ever shown. The documentary it's it's it's like,
there's a couple of episodes. Okay, it's too it's I'm thinking drama,
well, non fiction or fiction? What else do I watch? I'll
think of I'll get back to you, But I do. I do.
Really. I love Better Call Saul. I loved Breaking Bad. I watched
that one hundred times over many, many, many, many many times.
Um. I like smart things, I really do. But most of the
time I want my brain dead at the end of the day. That's why
ninety day. If I know it's something that I'm so tired that I.
Yes, Yes, I don't I and I don't want to read because I'm
afraid that I'm just gonna fall asleep. I get brother, I get you.
This one doesn't understand you right for us, he is he's There are
some shows that I are much more like. I like, um, say,
good example, I like Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty's a crazy
minds I had attention. If Brian spelled his name, Oh no, that
wouldn't even be right. Brain an eye brain, How I could call him
AI? Oh that'd be good. Yeah, artificial intelligence Joe, that Joe
kind of died, It's pretty mindful. I don't know. Reality is just
reality TV is just so boring to me because it's especially fake because they make
it so hard to be real, so they script the crap out of there.
Oh no one, And I think it appeals to me because I believe
everything. Yeah, so the reality is just not that interesting. I respect
your opinion, Laura. Let's move on something on your chin that was so
dumb that I I think that my brain refused to get it. The funniest
part is that everyone else got it before you did, the best part because
I believe, truly believed I'm like, where, where where? Where?
Where? Well, wait a minute, we do have to talk about did
you watch We watched it together, dumb dumb that was my birthday night.
Can I give a plus to Urban mos Yes, of course. Okay,
if you want to watch the second part of vander put Rules the Reunion finest
place ever Urban Mose, they will play it after the dream Girls perform,
which is at seven o'clock, so seven to eight thirty. You're entertained,
you get a little break, then you can watch the show and they have
this bingo game going on. I recommend it highly reserve your spot again that
first. So I heard today that episodes two and three make episode one of
the Reunion look like a walk in the park. Are you gonna watch it
with me? Or did you have to do that as a thing. I'm
not sure yet. Okay, I feel like we need to share this.
I know you might just have to. We need to watch it. Oh
no, I will watch it. I need to watch it live. I
need to come to your house. I know I can't get it on my
until the day after, and that's not okay for me. Oh my god.
Whatever, All right, let's move on, all right, All right,
I just have a few. Okay, let me ask you. I'll
let I'll give you what I have. You tell me what how you want
to end the show? Fifteen little things that annoy everyone? Or four questions
not the question game, but ones that are it's kind of like what am
I trying to say? They're really good. Let's see the questions on the
list you pull up our absolute bowl. Oh shut it, No, the
list you pull up are so wrong. One of these days they'll it'll blow
your mind. Okay? Are these are they like BuzzFeed lists? They are
a combination of everything that was on the internet, and it's and I get
it all. Okay, here we go. I'll ask you know what.
Who's gonna start. I'm gonna start with Brian this time. Okay, you're
gonna answer first. If you're walking in a forest and you found a black
suitcase. Inside it holds one million dollars and a piece of paper stained in
blood with a single word don't would you take the suitcase home? Or would
you leave it? Oh? I knew Brian would take it. How are
they going to tie the money in that kind of crap? Anyway? Are
you saying cursed? Maybe? Yeah? Oh, I take it? The
hell cares? I knew you would curse you for sure would not take it.
Oh a million dollars, no blood stained note that says don't okay,
So I give it to somebody I like, you know, cashing for other
notes, and boom, it's the money somebody else's problem. I've got clean,
uncursed money. You're not worried that the fact that you took it is
going to change your life drama because I'm not worried that curses exist. Okay,
you know what, I get it? Who cursed it? How did
they curse it? At this point in my life, I would take the
risk. I'm just wondering if curses or if that stuff is all real.
Why isn't the information on how to curse people like on the internet. I
don't. I don't know who does know? Maybe a higher power, a
god that why is he cursing? Briefing? He's not cursing, but he
knows what curses are, because that there's evil and good and maybe like witches
who direct Anyways, I'm making this, I'm making a very bad point,
but I'm trying to come up with some Well, if I find a flying
broomstick, and then nearby, you know, nearby briefcase full of cash,
then I won't take the cash. Number two, If you and your girlfriend?
No, if your girlfriend and your mother changed bodies, Oh, and
the only way to get them back to normal is to have sex with one
of them? What the fuck? Oh? Yeah, exactly who do you
choose? I'm not answering that question you need to answer. You know what,
On this show, we all play, we all answer a messed but
it's between your boyfriend and your dad. Oh my god. Um, okay,
let me think if my if my boyfriend and my dad changed bodies and
the only way to get them back to normal is to have sex with one
of them, who do I choose? Oh my god, I would have
sex with my dad who's actually my boyfriend? Okay, Eric, Okay,
I am pleading them. I think no, play the game. No,
no, if he if I'm playing the fifth as well. That is an
insane answer on the internet saying no, No, I am disappointed in you.
That's fine. I am disappointed you. That's okay. You can roast
me for it later. I can't believe you. I'm disappointed to hear that
you're into incest. Have you mine. I just think of the best way
out of this. Yeah. Finally you find a book and begin to read,
only to discover that this is your life. Okay, you get to
the point that you are at now, do you turn the page knowing that
you will not be able to change the events to come? I dispute that
I couldn't change the events. Do you turn the page knowing that you don't
know? Oh it's going to happen? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, duh
for sure? Not me. What if you could easily avert a tragedy?
Okay, let me say this. You find out ten pages from where you
left off, Evan dies in a free car accident because she was on her
way somewhere, tells you the specific day. All you have to do to
stop it is just tell her, hey, you can't go out that day.
That's why this question was written this way. Wait what Okay? Knowing
that you will not be able to change the events to come, so then
you be able to change it? Well, then, of course, how
can you not change it? I'm just reading a question that was probably written
on this all wrong. Laura. If you can, if you can,
oh your podcast, if you can't, If I couldn't change it. Then
I know I wouldn't want to know. All right, I'll end with it
one more. Okay, then we're going to end this thing. Is it?
Is it going to be having sex with? Oh? Okay, I
would choose a donkey. Would you rather get uglier or dumber? You have
asked that question before? Okay? Then then I'll ask another one. Okay,
what would you do? Well, this is too that's too serious.
I'm going to hold onto that one. Okay. You are offered a pill
that makes you sixty five percent more intelligent, but permanently removes your hair,
including your eyebrows. No, do you take it? How much smarter?
Sixty five percent smarter? How much is sixty five percent Smart's quite a bit?
Yeah? Do it? You have no hair on your head? Yeah,
no hair on your chests? Implants. Also, alipacia is a real
thing. Lots of people don't have no eyebrows. Yeah, you can get
those tattooed. One. No eyelashes, No, you have no hair.
No, it's like you have to have eyelash. No eyelashes leave too.
I know some of that has this condition where he has no hair. Yeah,
okay, yeah, alopecia, No, it's not he has something different.
Oh it's not. Seriously, do you know I'm getting into a fighting
right now? Oh? Man? Now am I done crying? No on
a fight? Jesus, Yeah, I would take it. No, wow,
really for sixty five percent smarter? No? Yeah, I know,
I know. If you are not a smart person, then sixty five percent
that's not that much. But like, no, but but they're averaging.
All you have is your looks to rely on. And let me, okay,
let me put this away. Let's say you're one hundred IQ points.
That's like, that's middle of the row, that's average. If you take
sixty five percent of that, that's an extra sixty five IQ point that one
gets genius levels intellect. That's like Albert Einstein level intellect. In fact,
that might be smarter. So like, I'd take it. No, he
is right. You could get implants. No for your hair, No,
I like it, and we'll tattoo on your eyebrows. No. Oh,
but look we'd lose all of this which he has so flagrantly. You can
glue some dog hair on. Look at this action. He loves it that
he loves his fluffy chest. Really, no, he sticks it out of
his call or something. Oh, my god, loves it and some of
it is red. I think it's crazy that you don't wear it. But
it's red down there, all great, and then it gets red as it
goes down where the sun doesn't shine. It just gets redder and redder,
and then it gets Breagan, Yeah the great. I look like a calico
cat. My god. All right. Do we need to address anything or
say anything other than thank you guys for watching and listening and hanging in with
us, and maybe you just try it out our podcast for the first time.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for sticking around and watching the
whole thing from beginning to end. We really am sorry here. We talked
about dicks for so long, you know what, Some people greatly enjoyed that.
Yeah, I believe that. I do believe that our target audience we
really loves. Long time. I don't know our target audience, thank you.
It's women your age, no, nope, slightly younger. In fact,
after the podcast, we need to have discussion about this because I have
something I want to talk to you about. Chaff I'll nervous now was a
target age? You'll find out? Oh boy, it's a I need to
talk to Brian after the show. She needs my helpless somebody's got it.
She needs she needs she needs my helpless something. You know, Well,
do you need to have a serious talk. I'm like, oh you can.
You can't figure out how to do something. Totally won't turn on.
Oh my god. Alright, alright, alright, fair enough. I just
like I can't turn my rappit shut. I don't have one of those vibrators.
Doesn't work. I don't hold one, all right, Love you guys,
love you, uh you both knuckleheads? Yep, I love you,
my little love button. I know you. You and your balloon not out
of here. Oh my gosh, all right and balloon not out of here.
It's been a great week. It has been. It's been a really
fun I'm exhausted, really streak and fun week. And congratulations Brian. Yeah
yeah, love your podcast. I love you both. I'm not ready for
this tonight. Oh you're not. No. I don't want any visitors.
I don't want any Miss Lee. I have the button. I've got the
button. Miss Lee wanted to wish about your podcast. Thank you, Brian,
love you my baby, love your podcast, Hippie and the Fish.
Thanks. I carry a resignation with me. At all times, I will
turn it in if all right, just in case. Bye bye,