1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,200 Oh, it's Swartz. He walks in. It was Alex and Danielle and 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:07,280 he's like, hey, it smells like I don't know gross in here. 3 00:00:07,599 --> 00:00:12,039 Yeah. He goes, did you guys smoke in here? And Danielle says, 4 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:23,199 no, we just had sex stop someone. You know. We just 5 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:30,039 watched training Day And when Danzell puts that bigpen in Snoop's throat so that he 6 00:00:30,079 --> 00:00:33,119 can throw up the crack rock, that's what I want myself to do to 7 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:37,920 me when Danielle volunteers that she's sexually active, because no one needs to know 8 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:41,520 that everyone already does. It doesn't need to be said aloud. You're being 9 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:45,679 pathetic. The little hole that she kept making me want to crawl to the 10 00:00:45,719 --> 00:00:49,399 bottom of every time she would do something like this, She's it. Just 11 00:00:49,399 --> 00:00:52,039 thought to myself, you're making me want to dig. You're making me want 12 00:00:52,039 --> 00:00:54,439 to dig. I'm just dig dig dig dig dig. That's what you're making 13 00:00:54,439 --> 00:01:00,880 me do, Danielle. There's a lot of stuff on TV. It's good 14 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:08,719 tracks, a lot of it bad TV. Hi Alo, Welcome to another 15 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:14,159 brand spanking new episode of bad television. That's long for bad TV. I'm 16 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,560 Dylan saddled up next to one. Patrick Kicky. Great to be here, 17 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:22,959 my baby sister, but by that girl is to my right and a gorgeous 18 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,760 down trench coat. Hey, Dyl, is that down? Sure? Not 19 00:01:26,879 --> 00:01:30,760 fleece? You know? The listeners love your banter. But I gotta tell 20 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:34,359 you, Del, You're always gonna lose coming up against Ruby. She's a 21 00:01:34,359 --> 00:01:37,319 big fan favorite. They love the rooms. I don't think I've ever seen 22 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:42,920 someone say anything bad about Ruby. Dylan has been telling me that I'm in 23 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:45,879 the wrong because I think it's cold here, but every place I go is 24 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:49,159 cold. It's in the fifties. You're allowed to wear coats. You know 25 00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:57,239 what, It's not colder than Steamboat State? Yep, can I We have 26 00:01:57,319 --> 00:02:02,319 public service announcements, ratings, and reviews. I'll pull up some to read 27 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,840 right now. Get in there. Five stars, let us know what you 28 00:02:05,879 --> 00:02:08,199 think about the show, not about the podcast. No no, no, 29 00:02:08,599 --> 00:02:12,840 five stars tell us why you hate the show, or five stars tell us 30 00:02:12,879 --> 00:02:15,240 where you live. This podcast. Patrick vander Pump is right around the corner. 31 00:02:15,319 --> 00:02:19,039 Yahes January. We're gonna be doing that with Ruby Rubes. We're still 32 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,879 trying to figure out if that's going to be on this feed, which is 33 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,759 oh, I guess it's on below Deck and mad TV. But anyway, 34 00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:29,479 definitely if we make it for you, it will be on our bad TV 35 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:34,240 feed, so we'll let you know. But more important business, we are 36 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:38,439 wrapping up The Golden Bachelor. Okay, this is the season finale. It's 37 00:02:38,439 --> 00:02:40,039 season final, season finale. Okay, okay, wait, so if you 38 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:45,439 who cares, everyone's going to be talking about who Jerry picked on I don't 39 00:02:45,439 --> 00:02:47,520 know Monday morning in the office. You need to know you're going to be 40 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:58,000 left out, busted up about one five sy. You're such a nice person. 41 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,280 You want to know what he's up to his goddamn shenanigans. Speaking of 42 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:06,159 this review is called hysterical from Julian Aire five stars. I give it one 43 00:03:06,199 --> 00:03:09,240 hundred canes. Loving the discussion reviews on Golden Bacheler laugh out loud, funny 44 00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:14,000 space exclamation mark, I love that, love that. There you go, 45 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,280 Okay, and then if you want to hear us talk more. We do 46 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:23,039 two shows for five bucks? A wag ooh, bargain A bargain? What 47 00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:24,919 is that the math there? Let's see two shows times four? What is 48 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:30,080 that? Eight shows for five bucks? Target? I'm charging like thirteen bucks 49 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:37,800 for quadriplegic Santa Claus? Is that right? And their Muslim and gay no 50 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:42,879 limbs? You know, I wasn't looking on the shelf my daughter. When 51 00:03:42,919 --> 00:03:46,680 she poops in the toilet three times without pooping in her pants, she gets 52 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:50,879 a poopy surprise. So I'm glad you've extended it to three because for a 53 00:03:50,919 --> 00:03:53,560 while it was every successful bowel movement, it got expensive. Yeah, so 54 00:03:53,599 --> 00:03:57,360 she likes the barbie. She's into the barbie. So I'm just looking at 55 00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,800 the aisle. I just grab a damn barbie. I pay forward at Target, 56 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:02,680 put it in the bag, bring it home. Ask my wife, 57 00:04:02,719 --> 00:04:05,159 did she not poop in her pants? Wife says, nope, she pooped 58 00:04:05,199 --> 00:04:10,759 in the toilet. I handed the toy. It's a goddamn barbie that has 59 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:14,800 a prosthetic leg. Yeah, you know this little three year old. Yeah, 60 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,519 she's like ew yeah yeah yeah. Yeah. They're judgmental at three, 61 00:04:17,639 --> 00:04:21,160 and that's wrong. You cannot say oud to people who have lost limbs, 62 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:26,360 because imagine what they go through. We should all be grateful to be happy 63 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:29,399 and healthy, not saying that the people who don't have limbs aren't healthy, 64 00:04:29,439 --> 00:04:35,439 but it's less than they're still healthy. I'm assuming, but the point I 65 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,920 was making is a three year old's a pretty judgy little creature. Yeah, 66 00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:44,319 and it's also just horrific that you guys are trying to indoctrinate her with gender 67 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:48,600 norms. But that will be discussed at a later date. We have Winterhouse 68 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:53,519 to get into. Oh yes, and let me tell you something. I'm 69 00:04:53,519 --> 00:04:58,040 gonna go ahead with snowballs if you guys tell these p zero snowballs. The 70 00:04:58,079 --> 00:05:00,480 snowballs are all melted, and it's all it's a puddle. It's a puddle. 71 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:11,600 Jack Frost is dead. This show, This episode was so there's no 72 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:16,879 form to it. It's it's amoebic. It's it's a prokaryot if that's the 73 00:05:16,959 --> 00:05:24,199 right word. It's it's just absolute nonsense, linear chaos. Yeah, it's 74 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:29,079 like if a Jackson Pollock painting was worth nothing. That's what this episode was. 75 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:33,519 Uh. There was something lovely to witness, and that was Danielle just 76 00:05:33,639 --> 00:05:42,360 embarrassing herself on a national stage. There is there is no recording deal. 77 00:05:43,879 --> 00:05:47,160 There is no William hung recording deal. After this kind of embarrassment, it's 78 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:53,279 just people dragging you on Twitter. There's literally nothing good that can come from 79 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:59,279 this, Danielle is losing her fucking mind and she has a drinking problem. 80 00:05:59,519 --> 00:06:03,920 Uh the puddles one puddle, yeah, one ruby? Would you like to 81 00:06:03,959 --> 00:06:08,639 go next? Sure, I would say. I think Danielle is going through 82 00:06:08,639 --> 00:06:13,439 a hard time. I did pick up one little oopsie poopsy from Amanda this 83 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,319 week that said that she thought that they were going to get back together, 84 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:20,040 as in Danielle and Robert and I. I don't know why. So it's 85 00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:26,759 newer to her because so she's drinking a lot because she's sad. But I 86 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:30,439 don't have a puddle. I have Jack frost. The first the bottom two 87 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:35,439 snowballs of his body melted. And then your dad, come over here, 88 00:06:38,759 --> 00:06:43,360 Dad, Timmy lean close. He can still talk. He's melting, but 89 00:06:43,639 --> 00:06:46,879 the mouth is there, and the carrot is like three inches above the ground. 90 00:06:47,399 --> 00:06:51,720 But he and no shade, sun is shining. He is melting. 91 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:55,120 He will be dead by the end of the day. Wow, Okay, 92 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:59,160 you know I recently caught how many snowballs is it would be It would be 93 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,439 zero point seven. The other night, my wife goes bet early, and 94 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:08,720 then I sometimes drink wine and watch app movies and days and Confused came on 95 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:12,319 sure. Have you guys seen that movie? Familiar with it? I'd stay 96 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,240 the same age, you know the line, Yeah, I stay the same 97 00:07:15,279 --> 00:07:18,519 age and they just get all old. Okay, So the bulk of that 98 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:25,160 movie is actually a bonfire party. It takes up like forty eight minutes of 99 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:28,759 the entire movie. Really, yes, sure, yeap. It starts out 100 00:07:28,759 --> 00:07:30,639 with the kids in school and then the baseball game and the next thing, 101 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,560 you know, everyone's gearing up to go to that party. That's where all 102 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:41,279 the great scenes happen. And that was this episode. This was just days 103 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:46,759 and confused, the television version. Yeah, the entire wild West party or 104 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,759 whatnot, you know, just bouncing around to the different The whole town's invited, 105 00:07:50,839 --> 00:07:57,120 including that ski instructor who is a kissing bandit. Oh yes, and 106 00:07:57,199 --> 00:08:00,319 the lesbian thank you Hannah. How can you ding a show that has a 107 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,759 onesie brunch? You know you can't dg a show for that. Yeah, 108 00:08:03,839 --> 00:08:09,560 it's so funny. Jordan is a DJ. She loves brunch and she loves 109 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:16,120 onesies and she's also black. And that's that's paradoxical, right, it is 110 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:20,360 true. Yeah, she also loves a brunch because her mom's dead. Yeah, 111 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:26,959 that never explained it, and I wasn't laughing at I was laughing at 112 00:08:26,959 --> 00:08:35,919 Pat's delivery. I wasn't laughing. This was definitely the uh the worst episode 113 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,440 of the season. I still enjoyed it. These dummies walking around drinking themselves 114 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:43,799 to death. I love it, especially Kyle. I'm going to give it 115 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:48,480 to fourteen snow so much, so much here we will we will cover that. 116 00:08:48,879 --> 00:08:54,559 Yeah, just like he covers eight hundred spots of snow. I mean, 117 00:08:54,600 --> 00:09:01,320 he's like a dalmatian. How many times are we going to stop on 118 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:05,240 this walk? Kyle? Oh, what's over here? Oh my god? 119 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,399 Oh, I got to be on it. Last we left off, the 120 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:13,559 whole town was invited named Katie is flipping out about the tom name scandal. 121 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,679 She blames her mother for cock blocking her. And that's how you know you're 122 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:22,000 just in you're treading insane waters because it's not Mommy's fault. No, it's 123 00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:26,360 Sandy's fault. Yes, Sandy's fault. By the way, I got to 124 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:31,960 set this up appropriately, Dylan, Friday, March seventeenth, six thirty six 125 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:35,200 pm. Yes. We spend the first three minutes of the episode with Katie 126 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:39,519 Flood venting about how her mother cock blocked her. I'd argue to her that 127 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:45,679 your mother could have named you spiu agnew He's still not going to make you 128 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,960 his girlfriend, Nope, because he is a Bravo celebt and he has a 129 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:54,000 girlfriend named Joe at back home in North Hollywood. And spirew was a corrupt, 130 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:58,559 vile rat of a human being rat that's right, Yeah, just a 131 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,000 fucking rap. But you know who wouldn't have known that? Nixon? Swartz? 132 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:07,679 Oh god, it he's still what of said? Yeah? No, 133 00:10:07,799 --> 00:10:13,240 gom, yeah, okay, you worked close with Nixon though, so Schwartz 134 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:22,879 says, maybe I'm just pushing down feelings. Get me back to the party, 135 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:30,000 because I'm doing my Jack Nicholson voice. I'm upset, Get me back 136 00:10:30,039 --> 00:10:35,200 to the party. At what point is this fake? Like like and I 137 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,399 don't know if you guys have friends who have been divorced or something, I 138 00:10:37,399 --> 00:10:43,240 imagine it actually is quite scary and very overwhelming to start to get your toes 139 00:10:43,279 --> 00:10:46,240 back. And sure, this is childish behavior though no from any person. 140 00:10:46,399 --> 00:10:50,559 This is the way he is behaving about this woman. She is a woman. 141 00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:54,639 But on I guess both parts. This is this is babies, This 142 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:58,600 is little little babies. That are getting poop toys. I agree, Okay, 143 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,399 you want I heard Jack Nicholson's sure. He told Kevin Pollack. He 144 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:07,399 goes, you want to know surreal? And I did a film Chinatown, 145 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:13,799 you know, Chinatown. I was rehearsing his scene with John Houston and his 146 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:18,039 daughter was a background actress in the movie, and I was banging her and 147 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,840 we're rehearsing this scene, and I'm all in my head about how I'm gonna 148 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:26,360 tell him, and I snap out it. Angelica, Yeah nice? And 149 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:30,759 uh, I don't know if she was a background actor in that. Was 150 00:11:30,759 --> 00:11:33,879 she a background actor? I don't know, or was she more prominently fit 151 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:37,360 whatever Angelica was in the film, I didn't know that was John Houston's daughter, 152 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:41,159 Yeah, Angelica Houston. So he goes, I'm thinking about it. 153 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,720 How I'm gonna tell him that I'm banging his daughter? Right? And I 154 00:11:43,799 --> 00:11:48,360 snap out of it. And John Houston's character in the scene asks me, 155 00:11:48,919 --> 00:11:54,679 are you sleeping with my daughter? Now? That's surreal? Oh? He 156 00:11:54,720 --> 00:12:03,000 told him that. He told Kevin public that's Chinatown, all good? Yeah, 157 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:07,759 nice man? Yeah. In Chinatown is a film about water and it's 158 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:13,639 directed by a pedophile. Yeah nice, Yeah, Hey, you want to, 159 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:18,679 I just am attempting to not talk about the show. Okay, let's 160 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:22,159 get to Alex and Danielle. They make out, and Alex proves he's quite 161 00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:28,120 the multitasker because while having his tongue inserting Daniel's mouth, he simultaneously flirts with 162 00:12:28,159 --> 00:12:33,320 another girl. But she's from Denver and friends with Jason, so it's totally 163 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,519 cool. Yeah. Can I give a few meanwhiles here? Stop me? 164 00:12:35,799 --> 00:12:39,399 Yeah? I mean, you know, we're gonna have to get through the 165 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:43,879 party before we're gonna have any spine to this episode. Well the party is 166 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:50,919 it stays? Yes. Of the episode, Jordan discusses her DJ name Sea 167 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:54,399 Rats dance on the catch counter, and Brian, the self proclaimed ladies man, 168 00:12:54,440 --> 00:13:00,519 continues to spread the ick it's baroksham, it's air born. At this 169 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:03,960 point worth mentioning, and you correct me if I'm wrong. Here he says 170 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:11,080 that he is a ladies man again, please correct me. Ladies man doesn't 171 00:13:11,159 --> 00:13:18,960 mean that you like women. Ladies man means they like you, which is 172 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:24,240 not the case here. No, no, no, right, because I'm 173 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:31,519 trying to think of the animal deer like women. It doesn't mean that, 174 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:35,559 you know, they're lady dear. No, no, no, it just 175 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:46,279 means that they're heterosexual, which is a biological pattern for kind of prolonging and 176 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:52,240 proliferating your DNA. So it has almost nothing to do with your tact with 177 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:56,279 women. It just means that you're a human, right or a mammal or 178 00:13:56,360 --> 00:14:00,279 Brian. This episode, he is going to strike out epic proportions, and 179 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:03,320 I love his I know that Batman has a soft face, and Ruby likes 180 00:14:03,399 --> 00:14:09,840 him. Batman is funny because he's the fall guy, right Yeah, he's 181 00:14:09,879 --> 00:14:16,000 just prot falling all over the place, but he is I don't think the 182 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:20,399 kind of person that I would like being around. I don't like Mommy sent 183 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:24,240 me warm things kind of people. And I don't like people who are like 184 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:28,200 I'll show them that I can fuck bitches. It's gross. Yeah, and 185 00:14:28,279 --> 00:14:33,000 they get stupid. He actually delivered quite the congratuatory speech when he later in 186 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:37,480 the episode to get ahead of myself. He's felt like he redeemed himself with 187 00:14:37,559 --> 00:14:41,159 his friends. Yeah, yeah, made out with that random right right right, 188 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,399 you guys like me now right, go ahead and mount your defensive Batman. 189 00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:48,919 I think that he's very nice. I think that he sucks. Is 190 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:52,440 the type of person that would look at the things that Corey has done to 191 00:14:52,519 --> 00:14:56,200 women and actually be like really upset and be like, dude, that's so 192 00:14:56,360 --> 00:15:01,679 fucked up, that's kind of gross. Yeah wait, why did you just 193 00:15:01,759 --> 00:15:05,639 spit in her? No? No, she loves that's your sister. Yeah. 194 00:15:05,679 --> 00:15:09,320 So I just don't think he belongs here. I think he needs to 195 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,879 date a white girl for three years. They need to break up, and 196 00:15:11,919 --> 00:15:16,679 then he needs to marry who is an Indian from Miami that is going to 197 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:20,960 be beautiful and love him and they'll have a beautiful life together that honestly will 198 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:24,759 be the happiest and most successful out of everybody's life here. I think case 199 00:15:24,919 --> 00:15:28,799 he might go back to school get his dental degree. Totally, He'll be 200 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:33,159 He'll be great, and so will his life. Yep. Uh, this 201 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,320 next part here, I have to say, Well, first off, can 202 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:39,240 we get to that towny hollis? Who's Jordan? Yeah, he's underweight, 203 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,440 Jason Kelsey and I don't like a drunk. Yeah, I don't know why 204 00:15:43,399 --> 00:15:54,320 Jordan is. Jordan is annoying. I'm annoyed with Jordan. Well, I 205 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:58,799 only I'm gonna ge all right, So I'm sorry that the two people that 206 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,639 I can't stand because they don't do anything, well, Amanda doesn't do anything 207 00:16:00,679 --> 00:16:07,679 either, having to be beautiful black women. Sierra was absolutely useless, Jordan. 208 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:11,240 This is her first season on Winter House, so I still have hope 209 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:15,200 for her, but sure, thus far useless. Yeah, but when you 210 00:16:15,279 --> 00:16:22,480 boast about bouts of celibacy and then get into your brawn underwear in front of 211 00:16:22,519 --> 00:16:30,279 people, it's just you know, I do, I do, And it's 212 00:16:30,279 --> 00:16:33,240 hard because you don't want to say things, because it's difficult because you don't 213 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,159 want to say things. But yeah, and I don't want to say things 214 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:41,200 either, But I'll say if that were me, and if I were in 215 00:16:41,279 --> 00:16:44,840 that house and I was hooking up with Alex and then someone did that and 216 00:16:44,919 --> 00:16:48,399 I saw it, I would say, hey, Jordan, why the fuck 217 00:16:48,519 --> 00:16:52,080 do you keep trying to fuck the guy that I'm fucking? And is it 218 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:56,600 because you wanted to on the first night but then you said too drunk, 219 00:16:56,679 --> 00:17:00,360 I'm better than this and tomorrow he'll be all over me and then he fucked 220 00:17:00,399 --> 00:17:03,920 me. Yeah, because that's what it looks like. Put your clothes on, 221 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,920 go change in the room. Thank you. That being said, Jordan 222 00:17:07,039 --> 00:17:11,839 is so fucking hot. I mean I would do it. My wife. 223 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:15,519 If a girl has taking her clothes off in the same room where I was, 224 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:19,039 just because I think she said it was for expediency of getting into these 225 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:25,160 my wife would attack her. My wife. One time a girl gave me 226 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:29,440 at like was touching my shoulders. We were over at the abbey. My 227 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,680 wife was going to beat that girl's ass. Yeah. Someone gave my boyfriend 228 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:37,039 a sticker, and that sticker is on my water bottle. Now I took 229 00:17:37,079 --> 00:17:40,599 it from him. There you go. Yeah, mark your territories and she 230 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:44,680 marked me. Little did she know. Yeah, Hey, thank you for 231 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,759 the sticker. Be on me next time. Thank you. Hey. So 232 00:17:48,839 --> 00:17:51,200 this is a fun aspect of the show. This is when they break down 233 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:55,720 the fourth wall and they address that in the Bravo world that they're all talking 234 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:59,519 shit about each other. There you go, rubies. Uh. This is 235 00:17:59,559 --> 00:18:04,359 when they schwartz Jason Amanda discuss how Amanda went Britney Spears in that bathroom at 236 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:08,160 bravocon Oh. Yeah, I like how they can at least acknowledge that, 237 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:12,640 let's stark fake, how we're all here, Like, at least there's these 238 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:21,119 little relationships. Yeah, and acknowledged Jason is dating Gizelle, but also Jason 239 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,640 is thirty six, question mark. I know Kyle's fifty four, but I 240 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,759 didn't know he's he. Yeah, he's a real person. Yeah, he's 241 00:18:26,799 --> 00:18:33,240 a real person. And so is Gizelle. And Gizelle is older than that. 242 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,720 Probably I think she's fifty. I will say this, Jason is and 243 00:18:38,279 --> 00:18:44,119 hangs on miss me with the bullshit. Gizelle gets your dick, okay, 244 00:18:44,319 --> 00:18:48,559 oh yeah, but also age discrepancies or age discrepancies. I do think it's 245 00:18:48,559 --> 00:18:52,720 weird that Leo DiCaprio does what he does, and it makes me sad that 246 00:18:52,839 --> 00:18:59,319 Leo DiCaprio does what he does because Leo times up. Everyone's gonna get fed 247 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:03,200 up with it. Okay, so just find in a mall. No one's 248 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:07,680 gonna find in a mall, but find someone a mall. Stop dating children 249 00:19:07,799 --> 00:19:11,799 because people are fucking creeped out by it, now right, you're supposed to 250 00:19:11,839 --> 00:19:15,880 be a professional. George Clooney did it? You can too, Okay? 251 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:19,920 Yeah? Can I talk about this in Game of Roses terms? Okay? 252 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:26,119 So I love them all right? So I think Katie Flood is annoying as 253 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:30,039 she was in this episode following Swartz around like a puppy dog. At least 254 00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:33,400 she has a strategy in mind. She's pointed, she's fixed her eyes at 255 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:37,319 the wrong mark. There's no way Swartz is ever gonna turn this into a 256 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:42,680 relationship. There's no after the after filming with this relationship. So I think 257 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:48,720 that's a misstep on her part. But if you think about it, the 258 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:55,359 I appreciate the play, but Riley major missteps. She's walking around making small 259 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:59,160 talk, asking if you are Riley's Anne she is. She's like walking into 260 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:03,480 conversations like, hey, have you ever got it? A Cariboo's walking around 261 00:20:03,559 --> 00:20:08,279 with fish, trying to show people how to how to field dress them, 262 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,960 and people are like that smells and she's like, no, no, I 263 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,240 know, I know, but look but look like I don't want to put 264 00:20:15,279 --> 00:20:18,960 my hand in it. Yeah yeah, I kind of want to. And 265 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:22,160 someone's I'll try, and they like cut themselves on like one of their sharp 266 00:20:22,279 --> 00:20:26,839 like like hollow ribs bones, and she's like, I'll quit being a fucking 267 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:30,920 pussy. Well my point here is you can see people that certainly come in 268 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,319 with a game plan. Riley has no game plan. Why are you making 269 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:37,960 out with fabio. Yeah, he's a town. She's unhounced Patrick. She's 270 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,079 here for a good time. That's right, she can't have a plan, 271 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:44,720 But it's also that's such a good point. She has a roof over her 272 00:20:44,759 --> 00:20:49,240 head and a shower that that she doesn't pump. Yeah, so that's I 273 00:20:49,279 --> 00:20:56,160 mean, that's cool. There are no there's no one around maybe Casey who's 274 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,680 going to stab her in her sleep. Yeah, And it would just be 275 00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:02,279 for fun if Casey did it. And that's something that Riley has to deal 276 00:21:02,319 --> 00:21:04,920 with a lot, and that's sad. Let me wrap this point up. 277 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:10,400 Jordan has a plan. She's not going to hook up with anybody. She 278 00:21:11,079 --> 00:21:15,160 sees this as I think this is like a cachet of like, I am 279 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,599 going to leave everybody with blue balls this season so fucking hot, you guys 280 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:22,079 will invite me back onto another season. Yeah, I'm just saying the strategies 281 00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:26,880 are there. People are playing the game somemore, and if my strategy falters 282 00:21:26,079 --> 00:21:30,119 and I do try to hook up with somebody, rendering that entire thing useless, 283 00:21:30,519 --> 00:21:33,799 I will say that it was the universe and that my vagina is no 284 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:41,640 longer into that person, not his girlfriend being here so hand of the snowboarding 285 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,359 instructor is there because the whole town is invited, and Flip Cup has played, 286 00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:48,480 and we talk about Tom and Flighty a little bit more, and Tom 287 00:21:48,559 --> 00:21:53,720 is outside. He looks like he is on a Counting Crows album. And 288 00:21:55,240 --> 00:22:00,000 can we get out of here? Can the SunFall? Can the sun fall? 289 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,759 Now? We got to stay here for a little while. Okay. 290 00:22:02,799 --> 00:22:08,880 I want to Kyle and Amanda and that fake TV relationship. If Andy only 291 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:15,039 invited one of them back for the next two years, like they would, 292 00:22:15,279 --> 00:22:18,319 they would play ball with that, in my opinion, And if it were 293 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:22,640 Amanda, it would be fucking hilarious. I would love that. It would 294 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,359 let the Leprechaun sit at home and stare at a fucking wall instead of walking 295 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:30,480 around in the snow and peeing all over the goddamn place. All right, 296 00:22:30,519 --> 00:22:33,400 can we get to nighttime? This is where we cut to. This is 297 00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:36,200 Danielle and Alex. I didn't know that they hit it, but they did. 298 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:40,400 Yeah, well really quickly. Batman is once against, once again dominated 299 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:45,519 by a female stranger. She I think face pushes him out of the way 300 00:22:45,559 --> 00:22:52,200 and calls him a dweeb, and Jason commends Corey on staying strong again, 301 00:22:52,440 --> 00:23:00,079 Corey has it's not so much that he's stayed strong as he got and grew 302 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:06,960 disinterested, but there was a window where there was no strength and only openness 303 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:11,920 because he was in a gray area with someone who he just spit on, 304 00:23:11,039 --> 00:23:15,039 and now he's in a loving relationship. He really has Casey to think because 305 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:19,000 had she not called Sam trash, he never would have had to admit that 306 00:23:19,079 --> 00:23:22,640 he does indeed have a girl. Great point, night falls, Danielle and 307 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:27,119 Alex are fucking and Batman is asking someone if her eyes are real. Again, 308 00:23:27,839 --> 00:23:32,200 He's just gay, He's heterosexual. He's not a ladies man. I 309 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:37,839 will say, someone does a worse job of trying to project masculinity. At 310 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:42,440 some point. Hollis, that's the towny. You know. He goes, 311 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,400 he's sitting by the like the kitchen count of there. Yeah, and he 312 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,720 asks a girl, He goes, do you know who's awesome? And then 313 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,079 she goes, Now he goes any points of the girl that's next to him, 314 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:56,480 and he says this one. Yeah, that's Hollis's moment. Yeah. 315 00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:00,160 Yeah, Hollis is a great name. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, 316 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:06,319 it's a great name for a bearded white man. Nothing else, maybe a 317 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:11,519 cat, Hey, dyl can I do this part? Of course? Okay, 318 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,720 So Brian, he feels dejected, you know, having that girl push 319 00:24:14,759 --> 00:24:17,759 his face off and call him a dub. He goes out, He meets 320 00:24:17,799 --> 00:24:22,599 with Kyle, and Jason's out there and he shares that girls just aren't feeling 321 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:23,799 him. Yeah, they go outside to piss all over. He sure, 322 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,960 yeah, yeah, and Kyle is always he's there as a pyramid of wisdom. 323 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:33,759 And this is what he told that young man pictures in my life slip 324 00:24:33,839 --> 00:24:42,119 up by some fucking Yeah, he's the next Oprah, Yes he is. 325 00:24:42,319 --> 00:24:48,519 Yeah. You get a stream, and you get a stream, and he's 326 00:24:48,599 --> 00:24:52,200 perfected his kegel work so he can cut it off without his dick feeling like 327 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:56,720 it's on fire, so he can piss on everybody. Jason tells him law 328 00:24:56,759 --> 00:24:59,960 of averages. You know you're pathetic as a man when another man says, 329 00:25:00,039 --> 00:25:03,079 are you're not getting any p law of averages, dude, No one goes 330 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:11,079 zero for one hundred data. Fifty year old Batman might he won't actually be 331 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:15,079 kind of cute, but you wouldn't be approved Batman hooked up with someone already 332 00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:22,079 earlier in the night. Yeah, who escaped? She left right Berkesham not 333 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:32,039 that Jewish. So Alex after he bangs Dan Yell is being accosted. Okay, 334 00:25:32,559 --> 00:25:37,319 Hannah, First, this woman after making out with Malia, is all 335 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:40,200 over Alex. You can see it in her eyes. They're drunk, they're 336 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:47,119 sagging, and they're fucking thirsty for Alex. And then the redhead she wants 337 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:55,759 it bad. The redhead walks up to Alex and she essentially listen. He 338 00:25:55,880 --> 00:26:00,640 distur he said, hit me up on Instagram. Yes, so what the 339 00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:04,200 road connecticate? The calculation that she made here was a miscalculation. And when 340 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,559 you pull this type of move, you have to be one hundred percent positive 341 00:26:07,559 --> 00:26:11,079 of the situation that the person that your mark is in. Yeah, the 342 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:14,960 ball has to be at the backstop if you're going to steal home. It 343 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,720 can't be right underneath the catcher's ass. No, And when you can see 344 00:26:18,759 --> 00:26:22,440 the catcher trying to pull it out from his ass, and you still walk 345 00:26:22,519 --> 00:26:26,759 to go back, run back over from third and then you like check your 346 00:26:26,799 --> 00:26:29,240 hair on the way there, and then he pulls the ball and it's in 347 00:26:29,319 --> 00:26:33,039 his hand, but you still keep walking over Tag. You're out that's what 348 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:34,160 she did. And then the umpires were like no, no, no, 349 00:26:34,279 --> 00:26:37,519 you can't get the run. And then she was like, no, excuse 350 00:26:37,559 --> 00:26:41,359 me, and she keeps walking to home base. That's what happened. What 351 00:26:41,559 --> 00:26:47,039 happened actually was she was hitting on him and leaning in for a kiss and 352 00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:49,880 he said hit me up on Instagram, and then she walked into a wall. 353 00:26:52,039 --> 00:26:56,000 And the whole thing was really bad. And a lot of our fans 354 00:26:56,039 --> 00:27:03,440 have commented about how awful the show is, right, and they're categorically correct. 355 00:27:03,839 --> 00:27:07,160 But what I will say a point of contention that a lot of fans 356 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:14,519 have made is that or just that they have the fact that these men are 357 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:21,119 doing what they are doing to women is fucking disgusting. It's a sad state 358 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:25,279 of affairs. I think the Mayans wrote it down on one of their tablets 359 00:27:25,319 --> 00:27:29,119 as one of the you know, they didn't have the Horsemen of the Apocalypse 360 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:33,960 or whatever, those kookie Mexicans. But this is a sign of a culture 361 00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:38,400 going wrong. When Alex is making women walk into walls and Corey is spinning 362 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:41,160 in people's faces, I mean, it's just bad. Or how about when 363 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:45,880 a girl goes to be confided in hey, this guy that I had sex 364 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:49,440 with twenty minutes ago, and the fluids haven't even dried on the pillow, 365 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:55,839 right, and he's trying to fuck somebody else. And then one of your 366 00:27:55,880 --> 00:28:00,400 friends and Amanda goes, let me think about this, okay, So let's 367 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:10,039 talk about all of the girls gathering around Danielle for what is a kind of 368 00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:15,000 support held at gunpoint. I I don't want to be and I've said again, 369 00:28:15,039 --> 00:28:18,799 I've said time and time again, down with the patriarchy, right, 370 00:28:19,799 --> 00:28:27,160 But I'm one of these bros that watching this episode, I genuinely see zero 371 00:28:27,319 --> 00:28:33,000 wrong with what Alex did. He just refused numerous women who were trying to 372 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:37,720 hook up with him. And because Dylan he's welcoming it and playing the game 373 00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:41,279 too, He's like, if he could be having his own Patrick Patrick's out 374 00:28:41,319 --> 00:28:48,160 voted here, but pat like genuinely hates Alex nobody. I also hated Danielle 375 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:49,960 last season, and now I'm starting to hate her again at the tail end 376 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:53,920 of this episode because she keeps walking into the firing squad, Like, at 377 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,039 some point, you've got to understand that you're dating a guy who's effing a 378 00:28:57,079 --> 00:29:02,200 guy who's telling you thank you for not cursing. Yeah, yeah, that 379 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:07,480 I have. I really don't care about your feelings. I'm going to have 380 00:29:07,519 --> 00:29:10,440 sex with you, sure, and then twenty minutes later I will hit on 381 00:29:10,519 --> 00:29:12,160 someone. And if that doesn't work for you, that's fine, But don't 382 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:15,480 scream at me and then fuck me because I'm going to not change. But 383 00:29:15,559 --> 00:29:18,880 also go ahead. I don't think he's hitting on anybody. No, So 384 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,960 I was going to say, when someone comes up to you, and this 385 00:29:22,039 --> 00:29:23,519 is what this girl did. She literally came up to him and she said, 386 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:27,319 I'm leaving and I think you're cute. And what happens next is that 387 00:29:27,359 --> 00:29:30,440 they get their shit and they leave with you. But that's impossible in the 388 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,839 situation. He's filming a show. He has no interest in you. You 389 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,759 haven't been speaking, and you're not hot enough to do this to him, 390 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:41,799 right so, but the only way for him to not what is he supposed 391 00:29:41,799 --> 00:29:44,240 to punch her in the face. He literally put his hands up in the 392 00:29:44,279 --> 00:29:48,279 air like he was being all said, I'll make I'll add a finer point 393 00:29:48,319 --> 00:29:53,279 to what Ruby's saying. I think he was interested. I think he wants 394 00:29:53,319 --> 00:29:59,799 to fuck them, and that is to try to say that he's not allowed 395 00:29:59,839 --> 00:30:03,160 to want to fuck them is delusional and incorrect. He wants to have sex 396 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:07,440 with the Redhead and Hannah at the same time, or one after another. 397 00:30:07,519 --> 00:30:12,319 Wait outside, take a ticket, but he's actively saying or you can watch, 398 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:18,720 yeah, but stay back. He's actively saying no to them, and 399 00:30:18,839 --> 00:30:22,039 Danielle is freaking the fuck out. Let me take me. I'm a blackout 400 00:30:22,119 --> 00:30:27,839 drunk. Hold on, let me speak to respect and intimacy and thirty seconds 401 00:30:27,839 --> 00:30:32,119 on the clock. Okay, okay, you have sex with a girl. 402 00:30:32,839 --> 00:30:37,519 He is. He is strategically putting himself a distant away from her to make 403 00:30:37,599 --> 00:30:41,079 him look like he is still available. You are post coitus. Sorry for 404 00:30:41,119 --> 00:30:45,160 the old person term. You have your arm around the girl that you just 405 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:51,519 had sex with and you should be comforting her. No, I guess winter 406 00:30:51,599 --> 00:30:55,960 House. Yeah yeah, And that doesn't mean that you're wrong. It's just 407 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:59,000 that me and Ruby think you're wrong. Right. Also, it means you're 408 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,519 wrong because Amann has said it earlier. She was like, the problem with 409 00:31:02,599 --> 00:31:06,000 Danielle and these types of flings is when you break up with people and then 410 00:31:06,039 --> 00:31:08,920 you start to have your first whatever after your breakup, and you've stalked your 411 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,559 boyfriend twice to try to make your get back together with you. You expect 412 00:31:12,599 --> 00:31:17,200 respect and you're not going to get that. You are exchanging fluids with this 413 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:21,000 person who's essentially a random person that you basically met and suit at a bar. 414 00:31:21,359 --> 00:31:22,799 He is a sea rat, he doesn't give a shit about you. 415 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:30,240 And the biggest flirt senior and then the parentheses best hair second place. So 416 00:31:30,559 --> 00:31:33,799 Danielle, no, you don't get an arm around you. You just get 417 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:37,400 him not fucking the girl in front of you. You're a point and the 418 00:31:37,519 --> 00:31:41,240 tail end of this episode, I was there with both of them. Okay, 419 00:31:41,839 --> 00:31:47,119 Danielle, you now know what you've You bought the horse and you're gonna 420 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,480 take and you fucked it. Yeah, and guess what, it doesn't milk. 421 00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:53,799 Now. So Danielle gets all of the girls around her because she is 422 00:31:53,839 --> 00:32:02,000 a magnet for horseshit and melodrama, and she starts crying and and excommunicates Amanda 423 00:32:02,119 --> 00:32:07,799 for having to think about what Danielle is going through. Uh, Danielle, 424 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:12,200 you got to lay off the sauce. It's also tough because you want to 425 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:15,720 be like a good girl's girl and be like fuck him. Yeah you you 426 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,559 girl do it. But it's also like, I don't know that I want 427 00:32:17,559 --> 00:32:22,519 to wind up this nuclear bomb because this is our living situation. And she 428 00:32:22,759 --> 00:32:30,319 is out of control. And aka Riley aka Alaskan Wilderness walks in with an 429 00:32:31,319 --> 00:32:36,880 over alers want to skin this day fun. The antlers haven't shedded yet, 430 00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,519 but they're starting to. And she's like, I wanted to show you guys 431 00:32:39,839 --> 00:32:44,160 what Riley. She's crying right now. No, no, I know, 432 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:46,759 but look, Riley, you're getting blood. I don't even know it's that 433 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:54,119 plasma you're getting. It's so gross. She's like, whatever, fucking pussies, 434 00:32:55,039 --> 00:32:58,720 But you know what Riley needs to do here, all right? Because 435 00:32:58,839 --> 00:33:00,799 we love Riley. You know what I've mentioned. Riley is sat right where 436 00:33:00,839 --> 00:33:05,200 you are on this couch. Great friend of the show, Riley. If 437 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,720 I could advise her as like her fucking reality TV agent, right, here's 438 00:33:07,759 --> 00:33:10,200 what you're doing. You're a Barry Gordy. I'm Barry Gordy. Okay, 439 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:14,079 here's what you do here, Riley go to the Arry Gordy voice, though 440 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:19,759 I was Berry Gordy. Hey, here here's what you're gonna do. You're 441 00:33:19,799 --> 00:33:22,720 gonna walk in that house. His guy's name Corey. He's tall, he's 442 00:33:22,759 --> 00:33:28,119 goofy looking, he's fat, all right, cup his ball, spit in 443 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:32,519 his mouth. Okay, amen, amen, you own that man right. 444 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:40,240 Don't make out with locals, and don't kill vermin with your mouth. Turns 445 00:33:40,279 --> 00:33:45,119 b along just covered in blood oliver her face. So Casey is the perfect 446 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:49,039 person to kick everybody out. Yep, Eryl, get the fuck out, 447 00:33:49,119 --> 00:33:53,839 and Danielle continues to be a fucking nightmare. Alex decides rightly, so let's 448 00:33:53,839 --> 00:34:00,480 not because she is insane now. Unfortunately for him, he is stuck in 449 00:34:00,519 --> 00:34:06,160 these walls and this is going to be over in five days. And he 450 00:34:06,359 --> 00:34:14,679 is a he's a sea rat and a bit of a ladies man, so 451 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:19,079 he is thinking with his dick and thinking, you know, there's no free 452 00:34:19,079 --> 00:34:22,960 meals in life, and I've got one right here. She may be out 453 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:27,679 of her mind, but she is letting me slam away at her. So 454 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,440 I'm going to just, you know, stay in the pocket. But we 455 00:34:30,519 --> 00:34:37,679 get to Tom and Katie, the snow rats, they start eating. What's 456 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,360 going on? We've got the homeless and Camon the Oh yeah, that's Marty's 457 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:44,079 house, I think. Yeah, the fans want an update on that. 458 00:34:44,519 --> 00:34:47,320 You know Marty and I are friends again. She backed me heavily when those 459 00:34:47,559 --> 00:34:51,880 three zombies try to beat me. Sure. Yeah, but she is taking 460 00:34:51,960 --> 00:35:00,039 Gaza refugees into her backyard, right, and that's good for her. But 461 00:35:00,079 --> 00:35:02,079 there are a lot of them back there. She well, you know she's 462 00:35:02,079 --> 00:35:06,880 got that that force and teller on vander Pump rules from last season. Oh 463 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,239 that's right, yeah, yeah, he was the one that said that you 464 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:15,119 should bring them in. He's very active on X. So Danielle says she 465 00:35:15,159 --> 00:35:21,239 hates Alex again, and then Danielle heads down to talk to Alex. The 466 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:24,679 anger is gone and the embarrassing questions are back. Do you like me? 467 00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:30,760 No? No, kind of annoy me right now. I want to say 468 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:37,719 this about him. You can't train, which she's trying to attempt to because 469 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:38,519 she's like, you're not gonna do this to me anymore, right, And 470 00:35:38,519 --> 00:35:42,920 he's like, I don't know. You can't train a sex addict that happens 471 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,199 to be simultaneously very good looking. I know he's not your type, Dylan, 472 00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:47,960 No, I think he's handsome. Okay, they're not like a bear 473 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,280 at the fucking circus. You know, you got that fucking barrier on a 474 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:55,360 bicycle rolling around there. Right, yeah, you can train that, but 475 00:35:55,480 --> 00:36:00,480 you can't. You can't train Alex. Did those ever exist? Of course? 476 00:36:00,559 --> 00:36:02,159 Oh? Yeah? See the videos are like a grizzly bear riding a 477 00:36:02,199 --> 00:36:07,760 bicycle? Did you or judicy? Fake drawings? No, it's real. 478 00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:17,639 Who came up with that idea? Russians? I say, we put it 479 00:36:17,679 --> 00:36:24,400 on the wheel. It's too big for a will? No, we can 480 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:30,760 you imagine? They're so proudly this guy was human killing machine hours ago. 481 00:36:30,079 --> 00:36:34,239 Now look at him riding a mountain bike. Yeah. And the way they 482 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:38,599 trained it was every time it got upset, they smashed it over the head 483 00:36:38,679 --> 00:36:45,639 with a bottle of vodka and broke its will. And then the third generation 484 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:51,039 of grizzly Bears just came out riding. And that's generational trauma, right, 485 00:36:51,199 --> 00:36:54,360 or wealth, depending on how you look at it. So yep. So 486 00:36:55,239 --> 00:37:00,039 after a week, Corey finally invites Sam to the house. I love the 487 00:37:00,119 --> 00:37:04,320 grap I love the gratefulness that she has. She's like, oh my god, 488 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:10,000 really, are you sure? They text like a seventeen magazine article when 489 00:37:10,039 --> 00:37:15,559 you're like, how to get your crush say hey to you before summer starts. 490 00:37:16,199 --> 00:37:22,800 That's what their relationship is. Hey, miss you suplu. What's the 491 00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:30,840 right thickness of spit? What's thickness? Lol? So Schwartz and Katie finally 492 00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:34,280 do the thank god, Oh they don't. Well, they hook up. 493 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,519 They rolled around Pg. Thirteen in the fucking bathroom. Why were you in 494 00:37:37,519 --> 00:37:42,639 there? By sea red after c rat? Oh what are you guys doing? 495 00:37:42,679 --> 00:37:45,960 It's not Katie's mommy, and it's not even Sandy. It's Malia and 496 00:37:45,039 --> 00:37:50,320 Asha. And there's eight bathrooms in this house. Hey, get out of 497 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:53,199 here, go pee somewhere else. The bra is outside of the door, 498 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:59,599 right, there are seventy three other bathrooms. Malia, close your eyes plus 499 00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:02,199 truck outside. Yeah, like someone has contact solution and if they don't, 500 00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:06,119 you have to burn your eyes for a little bit or throw your contacts out 501 00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:09,679 it. Don't be a fucking loser, Milia. So, Danielle and Alex 502 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:14,880 bang each other, and that's when Asha scratches her ass and heads into piss 503 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,800 al over Tom and Katie. The we end the night with a bed situation. 504 00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,960 Once again. It's like a Russian Roulette of zz. This is We 505 00:38:22,039 --> 00:38:29,760 talked about it last week. Ruby brought it up. No no, no, 506 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:35,280 no, you can't come in here, and I can't do a thing 507 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:39,760 where I don't know where I'm sleeping. We talked about it many moons ago, 508 00:38:40,079 --> 00:38:45,760 when we talked about not going places when you're younger. Yeah, I'm 509 00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:53,239 nineteen. Let's take a multi layover flight to Aspen. White privileged little shits, 510 00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:58,760 you know what I mean. But no, I'm thirty whatever. Now 511 00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,360 I need a bed, and I need it to not be in a room 512 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:07,280 with three other beds. But it's winterhouse. You know. That took way 513 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,920 too long. No, no, but I need you to not be in 514 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:13,199 my bed when I go to get in it bright the way, you can't 515 00:39:13,199 --> 00:39:15,559 be in my bed. Yeah, so let's get to the next morning. 516 00:39:15,679 --> 00:39:19,679 Next morning, what is up with the blinking phones? Why did the sea 517 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,559 rats all have the blinking alarms? I hate that so much. Do you 518 00:39:22,639 --> 00:39:24,639 know what I mean? They all have the blinking alarms. Well, I 519 00:39:24,639 --> 00:39:28,679 think they have to get up early. Maybe you can get up. It's 520 00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:31,360 just odd to me. Not when you're drinking out all night, getting blackout 521 00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:36,280 drunk? You know, is the light what wakes them? Because I don't 522 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,840 think it is. I think it's the aggressive sound of an alarm that would 523 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:43,519 wake one. It isn't that the light. That's just annoying my wife. 524 00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:47,119 My wife's alarm is birds. How do you wake up to that? It's 525 00:39:47,199 --> 00:39:50,480 birds? That's the way you should wake up. I know it's beautiful. 526 00:39:50,599 --> 00:39:53,920 Hey can I wake up to? Hey? Can I do it? Meanwhile, 527 00:39:55,079 --> 00:40:00,199 Brian, he tells Katie he feels so bad. He told Asha h 528 00:40:00,119 --> 00:40:04,800 she was a cucumber and not a kiwi uh huh. And Katie says, 529 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,559 that's okay, John, she doesn't know you exist. Yeah, and neither 530 00:40:08,639 --> 00:40:15,920 do I is your name John, because that's kind of the disrespect that he's 531 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:20,679 been a Yeah, well he's a ladies man Patrick, So it's hard. 532 00:40:21,079 --> 00:40:28,840 Riley's on the show What Happens Nothing? They talk about Danielle and then another 533 00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:34,239 really this is this was peque Danielle making me want to escape my skin. 534 00:40:36,599 --> 00:40:42,239 Someone I think Brian walks in or somebody walks in and says it smells it 535 00:40:42,679 --> 00:40:45,000 was a Schwartzy question. This has got to be a schwartz question. What 536 00:40:45,079 --> 00:40:47,119 swartz? He walks in. It was Alex and Danielle and he's like, 537 00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:52,719 hey, it smells like I don't know gross in here? Yeah, he 538 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:57,840 goes did you guys smoke in here, and Danielle says, no, we 539 00:40:58,079 --> 00:41:08,000 just had sex stop someone. You know, we just watched training day and 540 00:41:08,039 --> 00:41:15,239 when Danzel puts that bigpen in Snoop's throat so that he can throw up the 541 00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:17,039 crack rock, that's what I want myself to do. To me. When 542 00:41:17,119 --> 00:41:22,280 Danielle volunteers that she's sexually active, because no one needs to know that everyone 543 00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:25,719 already does. It doesn't need to be said aloud. You're being pathetic, 544 00:41:27,079 --> 00:41:30,840 the little hole that she kept making me want to crawl to the bottom of. 545 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:34,719 Every time she would do something like this, She's just thought to myself, 546 00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:36,960 you're making me want to dig. You're making me want to dig. 547 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,239 I'm just dig dig dig dig dig. That's what you're making me do. 548 00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:43,559 Danielle, Can I say this, though I hated the whole Uh, you 549 00:41:43,599 --> 00:41:47,639 didn't invite me to your engagement party whatever bullshit last summer. Yeah, I 550 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:52,800 need to see where her journey what happens? You know? Oh yeah, 551 00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:57,960 yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. When did you find out? Oh? 552 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,280 Three days ago? Oh? I found out an hour ago. I found 553 00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:02,679 out out, Well, we had to fly here. I live with them. 554 00:42:02,679 --> 00:42:06,559 I found out one hour ago. Can you believe that I found out? 555 00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:07,719 And when did you find out? Oh? The same because you guys 556 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:13,519 flew in one hour ago from me. Schwartz is dreading the reunion fucking screen, 557 00:42:13,599 --> 00:42:17,639 and Riley is on this show Jordan loves brunch. Wait, we talked 558 00:42:17,639 --> 00:42:21,760 about this. My mom is dead, right, her mom's dead, and 559 00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:28,480 another another. I don't know. I'm sure this is not appropriate to say, 560 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:36,760 and I'm sorry, but she's DJ loves brunch, loves onesies, rode 561 00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:40,079 horses. I mean, if you, if you didn't see her, you 562 00:42:40,119 --> 00:42:44,599 would be like, oh, that's so. That's a boring white girl who 563 00:42:44,639 --> 00:42:52,119 brushes her hair five times a day. Yes, but it's not so. 564 00:42:52,159 --> 00:42:54,519 They make jackets. I don't know why they make onesies. I don't know 565 00:42:54,559 --> 00:42:58,760 why they're doing this. But Jordan gets in her bra and underwear in front 566 00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:02,119 of Alex and we've talked about her so fucking hot. This is Can I 567 00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:09,480 just say no, don't? Corbella is poured and we get to brunch. 568 00:43:10,199 --> 00:43:16,159 Jordan had a brunch last on her season of Martha's Vineyard to celebrate her celibacy, 569 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:21,079 and then she begins to talk about how she can't have sex with somebody 570 00:43:21,079 --> 00:43:24,199 that she doesn't love because it's an energy transfer. Ha. I'm not like 571 00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:34,800 you, Danielle. But also I what you're talking about isn't interesting yeah or 572 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:42,079 true anyway, So no more. So quick question past the pancakes. But 573 00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:45,639 do you think that she would have also not that the energy exchange would have 574 00:43:45,679 --> 00:43:50,480 been as important to her if Alex and Corey wanted to fuck her the first 575 00:43:50,519 --> 00:43:53,760 night and they weren't drunk or no. Yeah, that's a great question. 576 00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:58,440 She just wanted kisses with Corey. If she hooks up with no one this 577 00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:02,159 season, I have a theory she had a relationship off the TV. Nah, 578 00:44:02,159 --> 00:44:07,119 that's nasty. You think I wouldn't put it past him? All right? 579 00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:09,920 So Batman, Oh yeah, Batman, Hey, I just want to 580 00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:14,719 let you know I hooked up with some rando. That's stupid, bitch, 581 00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,840 you know. Yeah. But I'm so happy that you guys have accepted me, 582 00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:22,559 you know. Yeah. And it's that line that much like you're digging. 583 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:27,800 My nails are coming off and I'm starting to hit lava because he says, 584 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:36,760 this is who I am. Get me my shovel through the world in 585 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,320 eighty days, whatever it is. I am so far into the earth with 586 00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:45,840 these people now, it's worth mentioning. Ruby and I talked this off. 587 00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:52,039 Mike Dylan was arguing with his football Fantasy football Well, I'll not be gas 588 00:44:52,159 --> 00:44:57,400 led by people in my fantasy football league. Right. We're approaching trade deadline 589 00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:00,440 and it's just not the time for teams who have no chance to be giving 590 00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:06,199 teams that are going to win the league weapons and and I'll spare that league. 591 00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:08,360 I did veto it because I don't know if you guys are trading bitcoin 592 00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:13,039 behind our backs, but this is unethical. Well you and I'll be the 593 00:45:13,079 --> 00:45:15,000 bad guy, right, I'll be the bad You were hute about that. 594 00:45:15,079 --> 00:45:23,960 Ruby and I were having a very intense conversation about Kermit aka Aisha and her 595 00:45:24,079 --> 00:45:27,880 leaving the house, which I don't think we covered yet, but she tries 596 00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:30,000 to sneak out of the house and I don't. I don't know if Ruby 597 00:45:30,159 --> 00:45:37,480 agreed with me. As much of a TV personality Kermit is. I think 598 00:45:37,559 --> 00:45:40,480 she's weirded out by all these people. There's so much narcissism. I think 599 00:45:40,519 --> 00:45:46,360 she is a clean spirit and there's way too much fucking, you know, 600 00:45:46,519 --> 00:45:50,559 fakeness in this house for her to take. Yeah, I totally agree with 601 00:45:50,639 --> 00:45:53,239 you. I think she was disgusted by both the filth and the amount of 602 00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:58,519 narcissism. Patrick made a really really good example of when she is trying to 603 00:45:58,519 --> 00:46:01,280 have a conversation with Corey and she's like, oh, like, we're having 604 00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:06,719 eggs for breakfast and music. Oh yeah, I love eggs. Eggs are 605 00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:09,239 the best. Eggs are the best. Who are you guys talking about? 606 00:46:09,559 --> 00:46:15,159 Uh? Kermit, we like Kurmit. I think her and Riley this is 607 00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:19,199 overwhelming for them. Oh despite them being on multiple seasons of Below Deck, 608 00:46:19,679 --> 00:46:22,760 they're at least working doing things on that show. Here you have to make 609 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:25,199 hay out of nothing. You're like, hey, go fucking make out with 610 00:46:25,199 --> 00:46:31,079 that. Pat Riley and Ash are both to cerebral and intelligent to stomach being 611 00:46:31,079 --> 00:46:35,960 around these people. I will say, I do want so badly. I 612 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,480 want Riley and Jordan to get in a blackout fight, not physical. I 613 00:46:38,519 --> 00:46:44,480 want an emotional or a verbal like I fucking said it nineteen fucking times, 614 00:46:44,559 --> 00:46:46,480 because I think it would be oh, don't talk to me that way. 615 00:46:46,559 --> 00:46:52,599 Yes, So we get the morning merry go round of what happened last night 616 00:46:53,199 --> 00:47:00,239 boring, and then Corey, Hey activity today? Uh, because I like 617 00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:04,719 winning, and he said that he's no, no, no, no, 618 00:47:04,599 --> 00:47:12,199 no no, he said, I like athletics and winning at things. Yep, 619 00:47:12,599 --> 00:47:15,800 yeah, he said this. If fentanyl was a person, it would 620 00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:24,880 be Corey. He is just lethal and dumb and should be illegal and what's 621 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:30,760 the point. And he comes from China. What am I doing? Am 622 00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:36,400 I own fentanyl right now? He's not fentanyl, He's he's like a right, 623 00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,079 He's like a dick pill that you get at a gas station. He's 624 00:47:38,119 --> 00:47:42,159 like an inspired ad film. Yeah. If a dick pill that you got 625 00:47:42,159 --> 00:47:45,599 at a gas station was a person, that'd be Corey. I like athletics 626 00:47:45,599 --> 00:47:51,599 and winning at things. The only business that he could ever have any success 627 00:47:51,639 --> 00:47:57,599 in is gym's and I'm happy that he's found that. We'll see. So 628 00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:05,960 Schwartz leaves and he goes from not wanting Floody to saying things like I need 629 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:10,159 you, and Katie reminds sports that he's forty, and they spoon each other. 630 00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:15,119 So Schwartz leaves. When we get to flag football, Batman's Yep, 631 00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:17,360 I'm sorry. I need to take at least forty five minutes to talk about 632 00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:22,599 the state of Schwartz's suitcase. Ye anyone, anyone I would say over the 633 00:48:22,639 --> 00:48:24,920 age of in my personal opinion fifteen, but I'll give you twenty five. 634 00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:34,280 Anyone who's doing this in their thirties or above needs to look inward. Well, 635 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:37,440 Ruby, these people are all on the brink. Dylan, that suitcase, 636 00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:40,760 could you I want to fast forward? Could you imagine if God forbid 637 00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:44,559 Schwartz is ever one of those people or TSA is like, sir, can 638 00:48:44,599 --> 00:48:46,119 you open your suitcase and take out here? He's like, no, I 639 00:48:46,159 --> 00:48:51,800 can't throw it out right, Just let's do this, throw it out. 640 00:48:52,880 --> 00:49:00,719 It may treat this, this suitcase as a half drunk bottle of a Just 641 00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:04,280 I'll wheel it over for you guys, throw it out. That's what it 642 00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:08,039 made me feel. He would put his shoes on his bed. So Schwartz, 643 00:49:08,119 --> 00:49:12,360 Lee's when we get to the flag football at this flag football, No, 644 00:49:12,679 --> 00:49:17,079 just Amanda saying that she doesn't like activities, blanket activities. She takes 645 00:49:17,079 --> 00:49:21,800 one in the face, and she takes one in the face. Kyle wants 646 00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:27,199 to pee again, and Alex goes over and says that he resents Danielle because 647 00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:37,159 she's a stage four clinger and a bipolar drunk BPD baby. Casey is reffing 648 00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:45,039 she's incredible. She's incredible, and Floody does not think that Schwartz is coming 649 00:49:45,079 --> 00:49:50,239 back because of her. And I have to say, I cannot wait for 650 00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:52,159 next week. I am so sad that you're going to be zooming in because 651 00:49:52,239 --> 00:50:00,639 next week we get to meet the maggots that gave birth to Corey and more 652 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:06,280 funds. I cannot wait to meet those two. Those two are the man 653 00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:12,800 and woman who they stood in there on their lawn and they made sure no 654 00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:15,400 one was getting in their house, and they had their degal and their AK 655 00:50:15,559 --> 00:50:20,000 forty seven. They're a little cooler, but they are of those people, 656 00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:25,199 and they've ruined a human being and it's not their fault because they themselves are 657 00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:32,920 ruined human beings. And I can't wait to talk about them. I mean, 658 00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:44,800 Christmas Morning iteenes ready to reviews five stars, Patreon dot com, Slash 659 00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:50,400 another podcast network. It's good to laugh. I mean, I am heated 660 00:50:50,599 --> 00:50:53,719 up about this trade thing. I mean, we'll talk about it on APS. 661 00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:58,079 That will be one of the we'll do that quickly. We'll talk about 662 00:50:58,159 --> 00:51:00,440 much funnier and more important thing, of course, yes, but really quickly. 663 00:51:01,639 --> 00:51:05,559 We already did ratings and reviews. Getting the five stars, get in 664 00:51:05,639 --> 00:51:08,039 the five stars, leave the five stars. We love you guys so much. 665 00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:12,880 Piet our girl on TikTok, I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat, say 666 00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:16,440 goodbye, Ruby, bye bye. There's a lot of stuff on TV, 667 00:51:17,519 --> 00:51:25,360 but not all of it. It's good Jim Track a lot of it. Chad TV