Comedy Central Podcast. Thank you, friends, thank you. Stronger, stronger.
To grass now, silo, decide, silence. Thank you, thank
you. Uh, zombies eat zebras that yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That' s why, in the event of a zombie attack to let
them pass, I bought myself a blonde wig and I' m sorry.
I' m a little short. So, Friends, yes, I was
going downtown. I saw in the center and in my block there is an
elevator. But to put a downhill, because people pile up and my landlord
is pidco and he hates me, so if they killed her, nothing would
happen to me. He doesn' t love me and you want to be
and he wants to rip me off because every month he passes me to the
bill of light, but another day he made me, he passed me the
bill of sound and I won' t be able to sing. If I
don' t pay for it, I don' t give a shit.
There' s no one here who lives. And so, when the neighbors
complain, I tell them it' s not me, not that, Mr
Cuesta, but he' s an actor. So, when I' m
acting, it doesn' t matter and recently they said, they said,
the news recently said that a child of masso has disappeared. Susana disappeared and
I was a cop looking for her and everyone got pulos a banner that I
made we' re all Susana and I ah so they don' t help.
Wait till she' s found before she' s lost her mind.
Then they hit the TV of a Berman movie called screams and whispers. And
I went crazy with the volume because you know that before. You know before,
there was a channel in front of it. There' s also a
channel. Then people made Zapin with eyelashes. That' s how you'
re in control under your eyebrows. Oh, it' s true that everyone
does. Yeah. I don' t like it. I don' t
like to watch series, because there' s a somewhat time- bound commitment.
I' d rather watch movies that are like the vibe of a better
night. Like this. She' s been watching a movie recently, an
episode of mete and the ugly one and she' s looking at me like
saying you' re going to be able to call me and I ran away
and so that the savannah savannah doesn' t matter. No, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no. Recently they call me friend,
recently measured I didn' t make a friend, I bought a TV
three d and I don' t go to them doing depth. Now they
' ve stolen it and you don' t see the feeling of depth because
because it' s not I say Mira is lying down again. The show
is about the corner of your house. You' ve repeated again and all
the time. I' ve always bought a radio three d and so when
I listen to music, I put on my glasses and I feel more modern
because I' m a person. I' m a raisin. I'
m a normal person. I' m a normal person. A retard in
Canaries Ja is strange. It' s strange. It' s lovely.
When an old man says the radio word yes, well, when that old
man is your doctor, we' re gonna have to give you radiation therapy.
No. No, ah, no, no, yeah, folks.
Antennas are dangerous. Antennas are dangerous. For example, my aunt lives next
to a parabolic, she already has cancer in fifty languages. I live next
door, and I' m a stutterer. Good as it is, yes,
friends, then the atomic ant has cancer because it has a radioactive surname.
Then the radiation goes beyond the name of the first name. Then of
course, if I had been called ant atomic lead, there would be a
containment barrier and then I wouldn' t pass the ant relationship and I would
still do the series today. Bad thinking. It was and it' s
the same. I became the friend. I' m going to say a
friend. I study ontology and I told him and that what the years are
and tell me is three, five. Yeah, he' s lucky.
Good friends, I wanted to, I wanted to, I wanted to study
history. I wanted to study history. They told me, it' s
a burden. So, future, I mean okay, but tell me a
thousand years ago. Then yes, there' s the whole story ahead of
you, shit. When I was told, when I was told that English
was the language of the future, I thought go then now the verbs will
be in the past, because they are being made and the future will already
be present and can be consumed, because sar in the future. It doesn
' t matter. You know from here I' m already Slavic, you
know why I and I was fine so many giris there, why what because
it' s postified me and Slavic Joy means fun and she' s the
woman of the east. That' s why we' ve tried to turn.
Many comedians always tell that, that their mother weighed slipper, that yes,
yes, much more makes me think the slipper. That happened to me
because my aunt was chasing me that this wheelchair and threatening me with spare parts
go. My neighbor' s in a wheelchair and I' ve lost my
illusion for life, so they took her wheels off. My neighbor broke two
legs and he' s already making room with a static pizzette. I said
go so we' re not going anywhere. Hahaha, learn how to roll.
You know who he is. You know it' s Steeph hazy there
that' s Stephen Hawking, yes or no. Steph Holkins is the opposite
of RoboCop. Steph Hawkins can' t come back from a trip and say
he' s arrived well. You can say I' m here. It
' s like before, yeah, folks, I' m so here.
He' s doing autographs. Let me know they' ve answered because it
doesn' t matter i don' t. But by the time a few
Olympic games in Lourdes, the miracle isn' t paged, I come without
a medal, but I come as a skill. What a glass it doesn
' t matter. Coming this way, I stepped on a sandwich and ate
it for luck, because, but, but I' m me, I
' m not superstitious, because superstitious has thirteen letters. I say I'
m superstition anymore, or in fact, I' m not superstitious. I
recently broke a mirror and had seven years to pick up crystals. Now I
' m putting it all in place I' m reflecting and I' m
making a puzzle of myself Yes friends. I' ve never, ever acted.
I' ve never acted in lepe. I' ve never acted in
lep but I' d like to one day perform the lepe, take out
a mirror and say hey, what appears. This exists you are telepaning it
because it laughs I do not know and infinite loop and until it dies exach
because the mirrors always tell the truth that yes. But the other way around,
for example, you look at me thinking he' s dressed like indie
people and you look like a homeless person, because, after all, a
homeless person is an indie who has left keys at home and can' t
get in. And that' s there. Yeah, folks, vagabonds buy
Tsara homeless cartons. I wouldn' t like it. I' d like
to live on the street. I wouldn' t like to live on the
street, because I don' t like to share a flat with people I
don' t know. Don' t transcribe through my bed, don'
t manifest in my sleepy prbro anyway you understand me, okay, etcc.
The worst that can happen to you? The worst that can happen to you
with a black cat? Isn' t that right, yes, but the
worst thing that can happen to him in a black cat is to come across
a skin cat? Hahaha, and the worst thing that a skin cat can
do to him is to be confused like a rat and eaten by a black
cat. They give me shit coming this way, coming to and here you
have crucified me as a manifestation of paranoids, a manipulation of paranoids, and
so many saying. But why are you following me? But why are you
following me? But why are you following me? Why are you following me?
Why are you following me? Because it' s expensive, they'
re paranoid and they didn' t put up the banners, they put up
the banners, don' t look them in the face that they get angry
they' re nadic pay anyway. Then he offered it to me. Then
I offered myself a little bow against AIDS and I told them no, thank
you, I already have it, but the little one from AIDS I told
them you should deface the pin and you didn' t do it completely final.
They didn' t convince me and I gave the bearer a check.
Yeah. But I am, but you' re out- of- court,
but you' re supportive. For example, every time, like a
foot frigo I think of another frigo, sir limping and falling like a frigo
finger crejoden friends and I curba in I worked in coca cola, they worked
coca cola, but they threw me out because I left an open door and
went all the expense. Okay. That' s why and for showing me
the cigars with the spark of evil life, my roommate is spoiled, but
he starved to death. I told him to do this doesn' t feed
him anymore, but not fat either. I said pretend to eat and shut
up, don' t do it anyway? Doesn' t matter? He
' s been watching TV recently. He' s been watching TV recently.
With some friends at home I got ahead and they said you hear that the
meat of donkeys or not transparent and if I fuck truth, I wish it
was a jellyfish, because the meat duses me if it turns out. What
' s more, every day they come to mercamadrito you read of jellyfish.
They stay there, because no one sees them. You can' t see
them. I used to think that when I put the beach in, what
bit me was curiosity and how a jellyfish is distinguished from its ghost. The
ghost of a jellyfish looks at a jellyfish. Ah, the past isn'
t itchy, but it doesn' t matter. You all know each other?
Everyone? Do you know each other? Can you? Follow the subject
you want. So, uh, you all know clearly, of course you
do. You all know the opolars that yes, yes, yes or no
you did, that yes pussy, yes, but you do not know the
or bipolar you. I' m going to imitate the polar ovis This is
the bipolar is worth to death, honey that Rica, death honey which Rica,
ah death, that' s what bipolar is also the bipolar bear,
This is the bipolar bear, my honey how rich? I' m not
idiotic, honey that Rica I' m not idiotic? And this is the
tripolar bear, that is, tripolar, honey how rich? I' m
not on a diet come a little bit, fear that Rica I' m
not I' ll give it to you a little bit or your rich one.
That poor thing. Uh, the plural, the plural of the bullfight
is bulls' bucaque. And I like grapes? Do I like grapes?
I like grapes, but I call them Cherry melons is more. And the
difference between a song and an anthem is twelve cubatas. And that' s
what he' s doing here. One song is light to the other money
because I sometimes drink something. And when and I have a blind friend and
when I know I think I saw that afternoon those days, they ask the
dog to get home, when I' m tired with juntaxi and I tell
him it' s still the dog. Yes, friends, I have a
blind friend and it' s good to have a blind friend. I have
a blind friend again. It' s just that you don' t have
to move gifts. I put enveloping music on it. What will be the
place. Haha well, I have composed a song about a guy who by
day practices athletic march and at night does tantric sex with his woman alleletic macha,
and that is tantric sex. The song' s a title song.
I want to run and I have composed another song about a hammerhead that is
born and small you tell her your mother be careful that you have a hammer
and I bought it anyway. I bought a camera, I bought a water
photo camera. I took it out of the box and he took it,
but no matter what, there could have been two pictures that had a fish
memory. That room I don' t know is a drowned moyr whore that
does. If, above all, if you want to get burned, shit,
we' ll have to boil it because I want to get decinerated and
cast my ashes according to soup. About that, one day, when a
lady removes. I form myself say hello, soy a lump that is second
clear because I am the first gives later, then I bought a kit kat.
Then I bought a kat kit to do a parenthesis. But it broke,
so say, some quotes and mine of life. There' s a
snack called this joke, because I don' t like it. I don
' t like machines. I don' t like the machine. I don
' t like the chocolate machine, because the chocolates in there are very proud.
They' re very proud because that coin and they say ah you want
to eat me. Hey, what to eat, because before I throw myself
and throw, I mean, they don' t fall off it and throw
themselves away anyway. Chocolate. Chocolate that sex subjective. But that only rich
countries, poor countries, is looking at clouds, eating land and things that
don' t cost money, eating chocolates. It' s his kind of
ap good me, I mean, when someone ever tells you what chocolate it
is, I don' t know if it' s a substitute. I
need a replacement. Shit when anyone ever tells us that chocolate is a substitute
for sex, you have to tell them and you know the phrases made are.
It' s his type of conversation and you leave because it' s
not your friends he gives you conversation by engagement. My nephew makes drawings at
school and I take it from the fridge door and this eater learns behind the
effort. There' s food. I recently drew a picture of a guy
signing up with his secretary, and he' s so fucking hot' cause
it' s not what it looks like. Yeah, folks, I'
m just gonna talk about buddy. I was in good class recently. Recently
he was not in religion class and the teacher said that man came from Adam
and evades the next class. It was the natural one the teacher said that
the man came from the monkey and tells me go then as Adam finds out
and then in the next class we were told that AIDS comes from the monkeys.
I thought bitchy. Of course that means that if it gives that original
sin, but it cannot be because in the eighties it ceased to be so
original. Of course in the eighties, I liked Michael Jackson a lot in
small and vice versa. I did it, but I didn' t.
If seen the end of the planet to the apes, yes or no,
yes, yes or no, the end of silver to the apes. When
Chato Heston discovers that it is not in the silver of the apes, but
that there is the land and he takes a great disappointment, for he imagined
what happened next when they told Chatton Hestone that everything is a movie and they
balance gestures. No. If it happened to me again with BNUR, then
what my name is I know how to imagine you dinosaurs seeing a Jurassic park.
Wow, they' re good, done, humans, uh, they
look digital like us, but this is never gonna happen. I' ve
dreamed of this. In fact, I really like to dream my roommate the
other one is sleepwalking, but it took me a long time to realize because
you slept the day, I thought it was Peruvian. I like to dream
a lot and in the morning that point what I dreamt. Then at night.
At night I reread it and say where I was going and I bought
a book of inhyperation of dreams? Did I buy a dream interpretation book?
So I' ll do it before I sleep. And that' s how
I find out all about it. The regional costume of Andalusia is the pajamas,
it is not an accent, it is that they speak in dreams,
of course anyone. In fact, he recently woke up. He recently woke
up. A guy of mine gave a 30- year- old coma,
a 30- year- old coma and I told him you know now in
Europe we work with the single currency. And he tells me yes, and
now who has it. But the worst thing isn' t being in a
coma for 30 years. But they' re in a coma for thirty years
in a five- star hotel wakes us up to get egg- slapped trying
my house' s. They' re building an Ika and it' s
the owner there alone with the beams. You' ll get your revenge by
eating a puppy. You know that one year' s person is seven dog
kids. So if a dog breaks a mirror seven percent out of forty-
nine, it doesn' t make up for it, it would kill itself.
Recently, well, I became a friend, a friend of mine who
' s up here, is remembering her apartment and tells me Luis has an
old desk. I said no. But if you wait, yes, because
I' m a comedian to advance my time. I' m a lime
and I' m ahead of my time. For example, I was making
jokes about the eleven, that' s the ten, and they weren'
t laughing. I thought aha in a matter of hours, because you know
that the Americans call, call seny leven, call him ngne and leven no
no donce es aptiembre call him na nor leven no matter. I' ve
already told you. That was more or less the joke, more or less
not, it' s not enough equal to the elica. A store has
been open for 24 hours and has been open for three months. That means
you' ve exceeded expectations and never try to hook up with a twenty-
four- hour dependent or dependent, not because hello how much you never get
out. Then there was the competition next door, a store called closed 24
hours and it went wrong and they had to open and they went again they
had to close and no longer knew what to do. Suggestions better. Yeah,
folks, you know sometimes it' s the two of you that change
the time, it' s both of you. Last time and I went
to a rustle and I said hey I' m not gonna count it right.
You' ve only recently known that sometimes it' s three o'
clock. It' s one more hour, one more hour. So last
time I went to a watch shop and said hi sorry. You' re
selling loose. That joke isn' t cool anymore. I didn' t
like it. They said no. So I went to twenty- four hours
and they told me here and we got together there' s twenty- four
no matter what. Now in my house there' s a costume shop and
when I get bored I get off, improve a likely Entonce costume and it
' s really fun more costumes. This tester. It' s something and
the guy who came in I don' t know I' m Napoleon,
but it' s captain' s line. There' s Captain, there
' s Captain Garfield' s facias. Oh, that' s right,
because I' m Napoleon and I went to Captain Garfiel. Leave me alone,
folks. The five pres have only one eye so yes, yes,
it will be. That' s why you' re never going to see
a pirate cycle and it' s not you either. Yeah, Superman ain
' t in shit, he' s always wearing size, that fucking joke
look. So, this worse f is a tiptoe e that looks hello z
what' s up. It' s all over the zeta shit there wasn
' t even. I' ve got a beyond for the letters shit can
' t be not chaises because you don' t know what he' s
going to do next. This last joke is bullshit. I mean, I
should have finished Napoleon. It comes to say Napoleon and you applaud Napoleon.
There you go. Are you going good night, thank you? Thank you?
Thank you? Thank you? It' s a stupid problem. Thank
you, Rays, the ox.