WEBVTT

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Good morning DFW. We are six
hours and forty one minutes away from totality.

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It's a solar eclipse pregame party live. You're gonna see new stations out

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and about today. For instance,
Channel eight's in front of Reunion Tower and

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we hope it doesn't fall on her. You're gonna have the bend skinche on

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the speakeasyat at Clyde Warren Park today
for solar eclipse. But your comedy first

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responders, now, they don't get
to go have the fun like everyone else.

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They come in, go into their
little cave and they do their job.

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No days off until next week when
I take about six straight workdays off

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out Fox four will send that poor
bastard, Dan Godwein out in the middle

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of a field somewhere, Dan Godwin, go check out Totality from a cow

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on the back of a cow in
a field of corn. I don't know.

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Good morning Kevin, Good morning Danny, Hello coomring JJ. That's everyone

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more than Mike. How long is
totality today? Four minutes? Okay,

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I'm trying to sync it up perfectly. What you mean he wants to go

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to heaven and that's how you go. Well, There are some conspiracies for

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sure. On that eight we got
hell Bop situation. Oh boy, it

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was on our way. I had
your Nike jumpsuit on and your white sneakers,

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you and Roxy getting ready. Today
is the final day, it's all.

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It's all come to a head.
That the chickens is coming to roost?

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Is that what they say? Sure? Is that the same? You're

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only I don't know kind of your
department. What chickens do they? They're

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just my neighbor, don't really?
Is that your glasses? Can you believe

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how dark they are? It's you
can't see it there. I didn't know

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that. Like you can look at
a bright light in your house, so

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you can get right with that light. Look at those they're certified. You

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have to lick. There's a do
say that. There's a label on there.

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It's a is O. If you
have goggles that don't have that is

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O with a ball around it.
Not certified, will damage your retina.

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Those are funny looking them all?
Should they there's an eagle on them?

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Yeah, it looks those are very
patriotic. It looks like Toby Keith and

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Stevie Wonder started a glasses company together. Mike, are you playing cheap sunglasses

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on your computer right now? It
didn't start. Why would you do that?

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No reason. It's gonna be a
weird ass that it cost nine hundred

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dollars. They weren't cheap. I
think they are, right, twelve bucks.

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Actually, how many did you buy? Did you buy like eight pair?

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I didn't buy a single one.
You got twelve dollars. No,

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she bought two. I thought you
said you had like eight of them.

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We did have six, but I
think they weren't certified. Oh yes,

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so I didn't get a look at
those other pair. Yeah, you're not

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gonna need those because you're gonna be
staring at clouds. No. No,

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I'm starting to believe. What's the
latest, Danny, don't forecast darkness on

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this day. It's the one time
we got to eleven and then rain to

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night and it's moving in from the
south. Dude, I saw I actually

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have models. You know, Kevin
claims to have weather models. I actually

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own three of them at my house, and I was checking them out this

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morning. Got up a little extra
early just to go over my models.

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And boy, that golf, that
golf cell is moving quickly. I had

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models. I bet Danny's had a
lot of models. There's no doubt some

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of them got what HEPSI, oh
you like a bit. Some of them

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got pregnant. That's what I was
expecting. Check your pa. I got

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a new lady for you on the
market, Daniel good, Would you be

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interested in the services of one?
I knew where you were going because Fanny

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major divorce news to butt heads Baron
Cohen she's one of my faves. And

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Isla Fisher from her breakout rolling wedding
Crashers, and and Sasha Baron Cohen from

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his breakout rolling Bruno. That's the
thing is I love her so much,

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but she's been soiled for decades by
Borat allegedly should have been on this Steve

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Shack for bracket forty eight years old, ding you, I know, wheelhouse,

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looking for love and all the wrong
places. Let's go Danny auzy,

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Oh good time? Am I?
Did you like to come out of the

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first night get some kangaroo with me? Oh my god, come on.

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The eclipse is affecting well. This
madness has just been leading up to the

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eclipse the last twenty years. Are
there people out there who are like bumming

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the the eclipse muss because yes,
those people need to call in. Oh

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are you one of those people,
Danny? Yeah, at all those people

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need to call in. I'm bummed
that we're not gonna be able to see

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it. We don't know. We're
still waiting on the latest models. Yesterday

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was crystal clear, cool today and
still PEPSI. Many said that it was

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all cloudy yesterday too. If you
look like a week ago. I know

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it's the countdown to the countdown right
now, but I think we're gonna get

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a window. And even if it
is super cloudy, do these superglasses look

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through the clouds. They can see
through it. That's what that's what the

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isl was looking for when they regulate
these glasses. Yep, straight through the

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clouds. It'll still be cool even
if there's clouds, because the earth will

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become dark for four minutes. And
we said four minutes. But twelve twenty

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three is when this bad boy gets
rolling. Oh really, that's when the

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act the moon starts, So you're
gonna yeah, so it's gonna be kind

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of I got My plan is rush
home, nap okay up at noon,

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maybe do some stretches and slav squat
necessary information. No, I think He's

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right. We all should stretch our
lower bodies for this. I will admit,

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even though I know we're trying to
promote everyone to go hang out with

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the minutes against you on the speakeasy, Yet today ten to six, I

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was gonna go and just take part, and then once I hurl the traffic

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warnings, then I'll update you on
in thirty minutes, once I hurdle this

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traffic warnings, I said, I
probably just take a old nap and there's

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a local park near my house and
take a lawn chair over there. And

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that's kind of what I mix a
delicious whiskey drink at noon. And is

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that right? Oh? Yeah?
Do you feel like we should do something

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different during these four minutes or during
this time? Something different? Well?

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I mean and for me drinking a
whiskey would be certainly different for a Monday,

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not for the old me that would
have been over. Don't come to

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my house or you're just gonna sit
at home? Right? I think me

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and Malchi will walk up to the
park. Yeah, the park could be

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cool unless it's packed. I mean, I know people who are like letting

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some schools canceled, some office places
are normally doing the whole, like I

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don't come in today, just stay. I mean, here's what do you

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think the policy is here? All
hands on dess A lot of Monday bodies

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usually here anyways, just one woman
putting a little water into one plant.

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That's what happens in our building on
Monday Mondays. But Wednesday pizza party and

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then we'll see you next Wednesday.
Uh yeah, throw down on Wednesdays.

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Just a regular park by his house
is not going to be packed, No,

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I would think not. And if
it is, it'll be packed with

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all my neighbors that I've come to
develop wonderful relationships with over the years.

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But this celestial phenomenon is bringing in
tons of visitors to our land. So

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places we might tend to think or
not crowded might be crowded. Today traffic

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was easy on the way in.
Yeah, it was fine. Do you

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think so, Clyde Warren? Is
that because they're STI they're saying road closures

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right around. I know we're gonna
do it. Whatever is it gonna be

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like nut to butt? Nut to
plus you really think so nuts hitting but

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all day just gently slapping forward,
but get the butts in front of them.

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If you go from ten to six, though you beat the traffic,

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and then by six the traffic's already
cleared out. Just tay for eight hours.

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Have you guys seen any actual evidence
of an influx of people in town?

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No? No, as far as
track. The only thing I can

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tell is, for whatever reason,
the bar last night did about three times

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the business that we normally would.
Ah. And it's in deep Elm,

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so it's you know, it might
be one of those things people come into

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town they look up, Oh,
what's a cool place to hang out?

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And you know it's in the past. It's made some you know, good

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lists of patios and dive bars and
whatnot. So that's the only thing that

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I could attribute that to. And
it was night, I mean, perfect

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weather, yesterday perfect I went out
to have breakfast yesterday morning. I loved

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the public breakfast because we can't do
it during the week, could after the

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show, and I did. As
I walked in to Cindy's, a guy

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was wearing a shirt that had a
bunch of stars on it. Planets made

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me think he was a little interested
three though I was out of town or

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didn't ask. Yeah, walk,
being that he's wearing a shirt I did

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take a mental note that this guy
is thinking about galaxies a lot. Fascinating,

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So we got one. I did
not notice that I was over at

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Cash's place, which is close enough
to Clyde Warren this weekend and no,

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nothing, nothing crazy, although I
do think they might have some barricades up

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sort of it. Clyde Warren And
oh don't you think that news people over

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estimate and over inflate these types of
things. Yes, yeah, it's almost

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like a plan for the worst policy
and then it never delivers. Well,

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people are saying, like half a
million people coming into DFW. They love

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that stuff because it's on it's you
can't prove it, it's impossible to prove.

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So they love throwing out big numbers
and they love anything they can turn

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into a news story. But how
we talked at nausea about the damn eclipse

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heavy and we are right now,
Yeah, like we're contributing to well,

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there's evidence we have something to go
off of. What Montana Remember the story

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from the twenty seventeen eclipse and Montana, we did this story a couple of

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weeks ago, three weeks ago.
What happened? Well, they had too

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many people and the one big freeway
got so jammed up that people were having

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to get out of their car.
Yeah, and go number one and number

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two on the side of the road. That's not uncommon up there. I

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think that was Chicago. That was
Wyoming, And don't you do what I

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think you're about to do. And
I think they went into a river.

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It was a river. They don't
have rivers in Montana. There's no fly

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fishing in Montana. I'm actually just
gonna hold strong here and not give in.

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I think you think about the worst
traffic days that Dallas has and it's

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Texas ou right, and that is
just what The Cotton Bowl holds one hundred

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thousand at its best. They're predicting
four to five times that, so you

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would think, I mean, this
is a look, this thing will start

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on time more than anything has ever
started on time late to the podium,

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right, so for the Bucks and
the Knicks to get finished wherever. But

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the one good thing is you know
that people have different destinations exactly different destination

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points all over the area. It's
not like they're going to one central place

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like the Cotton Bowl. But Clyde
Warren is some a popular place is Yeah,

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it might be insane. But I
just cannot imagine a half a million

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people coming to Dallas Fort they just
have data. Don't believe hotels booked flights

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expecting tons of delays. How many
cancelations are going to happen that people that

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are in driving distance are going to
look at the weather forecast, cancel their

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hotels, not come up here.
I think this cloud, you know,

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predicted cloud coverage, is going to
kill this. This is a huge day

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for the artists. Normally formerly known
as the dark cloud, it's your biggest

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day, the old dude, the
ultimate dark cloud is the one that ruins

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the eclipse for the world. Right, what if it's crystal clear out and

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they're just a single dark cloud that
just sits in front of the sun and

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the moon. Look, I want
airplane comes by with that makes like words

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out of smoke, just writes Banni
Bayless over where the sun and the moon

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are Bayless rules. I'm glad you've
changed, man. I want this to

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happen. I want to see it. I don't want to see it.

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I don't want clouds. Things happen
to good people. We're all going to

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see it, at least for a
flash. The clouds are going to part

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Yeah, and there it is.
I mean, you got a three year

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old kid who can't remember. I
thinking of my six year old niece that

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was old enough to remember this.
And I remember when there was a weird

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as the lounar is the one that
made a toenail. But I remember going

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out in the backyard and like my
parents are like explaining to me what's happening,

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and it was just awesome and I
want to I was probably that same

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age, like I do want this
all to happen because this may not happen

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again. It won't in terms of
totality for Dallas in our lifetime, never

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again. You'd have to travel to
see it. You could chase one,

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but he wants to go chasing the
clips. I don't know some people do,

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though. Apparently you have that one
hundred and five year old man right.

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Oh, he had to love her. Look at the airport, so

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they're showing live shots in the airport
empty. It's not empty, it was.

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It's empty because of the fear of
what a Boeing will do to you.

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More on that at seventeen boy that
struck Southwest over the weekends. Yeah,

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I see, it's not just United
folks, it's everywhere Alaska. See

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people flying in is odd. I
guess anyone within an hour or two I

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can see you driving. Well,
I gets it now, the people driving

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to Hillsborough. A lot of people
drove down to Austin. Yeah, I'll

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tell you what. The people that
booked flights to time it perfectly to be

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in the air when when the damn
thing happens, they're the ones looking like

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geniuses. Now, yeah, because
if there's clouds, you're going to be

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above the clouds. I can see
it. But think of I think that.

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Okay, that seems to like the
dumbest idea. It's to book a

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flight just to see you can be
in a plane for that. Like,

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what are the odds that you even
it's only half the plane gets it,

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and only like one and a half
to two seats out of those people kind

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of really get it because fat head
broad has got our whole head in the

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window with their phone covering a little
part that isn't her face. Yeah,

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00:16:07.879 --> 00:16:10.759
and you know, I just lean
back for one second and then one of

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the odds that you're okay, the
second seat in your field of view is

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really small, so is the pilot
going to have given you a full show.

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Here is the pilot looping or doing
right? No, that's not they

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can't do that. He's asleep.
Like, what are the odds that you're

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just aligned perfectly with this? Okay? And that would be kind of neat

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if you can see it. But
man, that's a lot of trust to

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put into their Go with the airport
and get onto a plane and time it

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out. I'm sure you figured this
out and booked the seat that you wanted

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in advance to know which side of
the plane you needed to be on.

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Right. Flights are filling up,
though, and they were charging like triple

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for them, and it might be
less about It might be less about actually

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having eyes on the actual Sun Moon
collision and just seeing being up there watching

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the entire planet got dark for four
minutes. This is why you should book

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00:17:02.879 --> 00:17:11.920
flights on Sarroy Air. We have
planes with all window seats and they're permanent,

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00:17:14.440 --> 00:17:18.079
all windows. We're all else.
Different flight. Is it a glass

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plane? Different flight? And what
do you wonder? Woman press proprietary,

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they're not bowing, Zoe, that's
your slogan. Air We're knowing. We

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make our own plate from scratch,
Throy scratch airplane kitchen, artisan planes,

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00:17:38.079 --> 00:17:42.759
artisan farming table, hand crafted planes, organic plate. That seems like a

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00:17:42.799 --> 00:17:49.039
big, busty natural segue into weekend
crab. Okay, all right now,

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no, it's having fun. Good? Are you having a good time over

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the weekend. We're going to talk
about it. I'll go first and it'll

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be quick because I know you guys
want to hear about it. I spent

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a good eight hours watching WrestleMania yesterday. No, no, I actually did

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want to hear because my timeline last
night, and then I remembered I don't

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have peak on too much, but
I will ask you both to acknowledge your

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comedy. Tribal chief shales her wall
because I didn't watch any Saturday, so

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I'm like, I woke up Sunday. I'm all right, cool, let

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me speed watch Saturdays. Oh then
that thing, it's five hours. It's

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their super Bowl. It's their super
Bowl, two days in a row,

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that last both days, last twice
as long as the Super Bowl. Yeah,

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Danny was there. What does that
mean? He was there? He

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was one of the superstars in attendant. Yeah, walle was there and Meek

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Mill. Uh you feel like that
makes sense? I don't have too much

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to report. I just it took
too long. I did. Something happened

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last night that was huge. Yeah, spoilers everyone, in case you're planning

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to spend from noon until four pm
today staring at your television screen the return

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of a dead Man after Oh yeah, but more impartly after one three and

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sixteen days at the top of the
world, some say, but at least

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on top of the w W.
Roman Reigns went down in defeat to the

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American Nightmare Cody Rhods as predicted,
as predicted by Brody, But he did

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predict this was gonna happen a year
ago too. It's true he had a

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choice loss last year, and then
he had an entire year to attempt to

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finish his story, and it happened
just last night. Now, for old

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heads like me, he's the son
of Dusty right, he is Dusty Roads,

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the American Dream, Cody Rose the
American Nightmare. That's some good storytelling

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and Romans. Am I wrong?
I'm going off clips of my timeline.

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Didn't he have a choice to make? He could go left and take out

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his other opponent, or he could
hit Cody Rhodes and get the and be

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the champ. Boy, that's a
weird question, Kevin. I don't know

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much about this. I would say
no to that. I think did you

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watch the main event? Yeah,
I watched it. I don't know what

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that means. The three guys in
the ring, there was a lot of

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guys in the ring because it was
Yes, there was kind of no rules

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the Battle Royale, so listen to
how it goes right, No, it

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wasn't a Battle Royal. It's Roman
Reigns right, the champ and all of

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his friends are allowed to help.
That makes sense because they won the match

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on Saturday night. Okay, so
they got bloodline rules. And then Cody

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just one man by himself fighting against
the world with the world at his back.

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Yeah, and then Cody Rose is
about to win and then uh,

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Roman Range's nephew comes out. Kai, it's a right. He cheap shots

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Cody Rhodes and he needs help.
So then so you know, a friend

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of Cody Rhodes comes out whatever,
and then we get to the big names

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and John Cena comes out okay,
fing nowhere like nobody had seen him the

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entire weekend all year. I don't
know where he's been, Like during the

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oscars, he didn't have anything.
With a little envelope in front of him.

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He shuffles full speed down the ramp
a tiny little championship belt. Uh

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that he comes out right and it's
like, oh my god, John Seena

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say the day. And then the
rock comes out and kicks John Cena's ass

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and it's like wow, I Roae
Moraine is back on top. And then

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what do we hear? Okay?
Can I have it? Hold on?

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No, I saw it. This, This is worth playing. I'm your

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00:21:22.920 --> 00:21:27.119
thing in What do I think?
Is it the gong? Hold on?

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We like playing pops here, I'll
play a pops some low level clouds and

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00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:37.799
also maybe some breaks in those too
much weather? Okay, here we go,

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00:21:37.880 --> 00:21:40.799
Here we go. I think I
have it now weather okay, ready,

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00:21:41.240 --> 00:21:45.440
yeah, I don't know. Yeah, the rock is out there.

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Hold on? Oh wait a second? Is this is this going to be

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stone cold again? Holy Test?
Go ahead, man. The acting is

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exquisite. The undertaker, okay,
the announce Look, we're in radio.

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We do this like there is a
piece of you that could watch this and

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go, oh my god. These
guys are amazing. When you look at

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00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:36.359
the announcers, think about that.
Michael Cole, Holy Christ oh what follow

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00:22:36.359 --> 00:22:40.200
well to adopt that. I thought
he was going to love some wrestling too.

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He actually made a wrestling reference during
the game yesterday. I don't remember

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what it was, Holy Christ.
I think he yelled at Disco Inferno after

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Johnte tied the game. So then
the under comes out and kicks the rocks

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ass, so then it kind of
bounces out and then even just and Cody

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roads out there again. So bring
me up to speed. Is the Undertaker

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supposed to be dead? I'm always
always dead? Yeah, I don't get

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00:23:10.599 --> 00:23:12.759
it. He's the dead Man.
Did interview him a few years ago,

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and he's interesting. Has it been
like out of the scene for a long

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00:23:17.960 --> 00:23:19.880
time now, even when he was
at his peak. He's the dead Man.

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He's he's somewhere in between the world
that you know in the afterlife.

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Oh my god, he's the Undertaker. Okay, that's why you yell Holy

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00:23:29.640 --> 00:23:33.240
Christ when he shows up, because
he's come from the nether world. What

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00:23:33.240 --> 00:23:37.799
does he look like a bunch of
me and old Texan? Now? Does

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00:23:37.799 --> 00:23:41.119
he have a bunch of ghoulish makeup
on? He used to in a more

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00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:45.240
cartoon based wrestling landscape. Yeah,
he had like kind of purple under his

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00:23:45.319 --> 00:23:51.839
eyes, and he kind of looked
like a makeup covered undertaker, but then

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00:23:51.880 --> 00:23:55.880
he turns into sort of a demon
undertaker. I don't know who was the

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00:23:55.960 --> 00:23:59.519
guy. When Roman Rains is standing
there with a chair, Cody Rhoads is

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00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:00.960
on the right, there's a guy
on the left, had blonde hair,

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00:24:03.359 --> 00:24:07.119
Cody Rhodes. No, no,
no, blank long hair. Michael Hayes,

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00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:18.720
Michael, Michael Hayes. That's a
fabulous Oh, that's a that's Vince

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00:24:18.799 --> 00:24:25.359
Neil, Vince Nail. Damn it, it's Nick Creamery. Nick Creamer showed

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00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:33.880
up saying that had a choice take
out Cody Rhodes or the emotions hit him

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00:24:33.920 --> 00:24:37.200
from something that happened that was seth
Rawlins, seth Rawlins, and then he

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00:24:37.279 --> 00:24:42.000
said from something from the past.
Yeah, well that was part of what

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00:24:42.039 --> 00:24:47.279
it was is people from the past
were helping a certain side, the good

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00:24:47.319 --> 00:24:49.440
or the bad. And seth Rawlins
used to be with Roman Reins in a

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00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:52.839
faction called the Shield. I can
see how this would be awesome if you

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00:24:52.880 --> 00:24:59.599
cared about and he hit him with
a chipicate seth Rowans ended the Shield by

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00:24:59.640 --> 00:25:03.119
hitting Round Moraines with a chair.
Ten years ago, so yes from Moraine's

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00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:07.160
hit. He took out Henry Rollins
and then and then Vince Neil was there.

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00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:11.200
I thought the Shield ended with Vick
mckew working a desk job. Okay,

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00:25:12.079 --> 00:25:18.559
look, that's great, good FX
joke from two thousand and one.

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00:25:19.200 --> 00:25:25.599
I made I watch most of this. How'd she take that? I mean,

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00:25:25.720 --> 00:25:27.079
by the end of it, she
loved it. She's a gamer.

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She's a gamer, and it's funny
as hell. Okay, you know,

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00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:33.440
okay, you're not gonna like this. We both laughed at least ten times,

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00:25:33.680 --> 00:25:40.359
her out loud at Pat McAfee jokes
because he does. He does play

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00:25:40.359 --> 00:25:45.440
by play for WrestleMania. That's really
funny. And she's like, I've never

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00:25:45.519 --> 00:25:48.839
even considered Pat McAfee in my life, and he's cracking me up right now.

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00:25:49.319 --> 00:25:53.160
She loved him. I'm going to
open my mind up to Pat McAfee.

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00:25:53.319 --> 00:25:56.880
I'm not even really suggesting that you
do that. But he's funny in

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00:25:56.960 --> 00:25:59.400
this because he gets it. He
knows the whole thing is a joke,

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00:25:59.480 --> 00:26:03.720
but a little bit serious for some. But he does make it funny anyway.

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00:26:03.000 --> 00:26:10.640
Cody Roads did it ended the end
of the Reign of Roman. There

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00:26:10.680 --> 00:26:14.920
was family in the ring. It's
two comedy surprises this weekend. Pat McAfee

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00:26:14.960 --> 00:26:18.640
funny and SNL was actually funny this
weekend. All right, it's funny most

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00:26:18.680 --> 00:26:21.720
weeks if you really dig in Danny. But we're not gonna go there.

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00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:26.079
That weekend crap starts and I say
I'll just go real quick, and then

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00:26:26.119 --> 00:26:30.759
I take the whole thing. Mike, Mike, Coming up next, I've

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00:26:30.759 --> 00:26:34.720
got the latest on the weather and
traffic for today's big viewing. Okay,

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00:26:36.160 --> 00:26:38.920
plus a special surprise and how I
saved a party over the weekend. Next

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00:26:38.920 --> 00:26:41.000
to ninety seven won the free