Good morning DFW. We are six hours and forty one minutes away from totality.
It's a solar eclipse pregame party live. You're gonna see new stations out
and about today. For instance, Channel eight's in front of Reunion Tower and
we hope it doesn't fall on her. You're gonna have the bend skinche on
the speakeasyat at Clyde Warren Park today for solar eclipse. But your comedy first
responders, now, they don't get to go have the fun like everyone else.
They come in, go into their little cave and they do their job.
No days off until next week when I take about six straight workdays off
out Fox four will send that poor bastard, Dan Godwein out in the middle
of a field somewhere, Dan Godwin, go check out Totality from a cow
on the back of a cow in a field of corn. I don't know.
Good morning Kevin, Good morning Danny, Hello coomring JJ. That's everyone
more than Mike. How long is totality today? Four minutes? Okay,
I'm trying to sync it up perfectly. What you mean he wants to go
to heaven and that's how you go. Well, There are some conspiracies for
sure. On that eight we got hell Bop situation. Oh boy, it
was on our way. I had your Nike jumpsuit on and your white sneakers,
you and Roxy getting ready. Today is the final day, it's all.
It's all come to a head. That the chickens is coming to roost?
Is that what they say? Sure? Is that the same? You're
only I don't know kind of your department. What chickens do they? They're
just my neighbor, don't really? Is that your glasses? Can you believe
how dark they are? It's you can't see it there. I didn't know
that. Like you can look at a bright light in your house, so
you can get right with that light. Look at those they're certified. You
have to lick. There's a do say that. There's a label on there.
It's a is O. If you have goggles that don't have that is
O with a ball around it. Not certified, will damage your retina.
Those are funny looking them all? Should they there's an eagle on them?
Yeah, it looks those are very patriotic. It looks like Toby Keith and
Stevie Wonder started a glasses company together. Mike, are you playing cheap sunglasses
on your computer right now? It didn't start. Why would you do that?
No reason. It's gonna be a weird ass that it cost nine hundred
dollars. They weren't cheap. I think they are, right, twelve bucks.
Actually, how many did you buy? Did you buy like eight pair?
I didn't buy a single one. You got twelve dollars. No,
she bought two. I thought you said you had like eight of them.
We did have six, but I think they weren't certified. Oh yes,
so I didn't get a look at those other pair. Yeah, you're not
gonna need those because you're gonna be staring at clouds. No. No,
I'm starting to believe. What's the latest, Danny, don't forecast darkness on
this day. It's the one time we got to eleven and then rain to
night and it's moving in from the south. Dude, I saw I actually
have models. You know, Kevin claims to have weather models. I actually
own three of them at my house, and I was checking them out this
morning. Got up a little extra early just to go over my models.
And boy, that golf, that golf cell is moving quickly. I had
models. I bet Danny's had a lot of models. There's no doubt some
of them got what HEPSI, oh you like a bit. Some of them
got pregnant. That's what I was expecting. Check your pa. I got
a new lady for you on the market, Daniel good, Would you be
interested in the services of one? I knew where you were going because Fanny
major divorce news to butt heads Baron Cohen she's one of my faves. And
Isla Fisher from her breakout rolling wedding Crashers, and and Sasha Baron Cohen from
his breakout rolling Bruno. That's the thing is I love her so much,
but she's been soiled for decades by Borat allegedly should have been on this Steve
Shack for bracket forty eight years old, ding you, I know, wheelhouse,
looking for love and all the wrong places. Let's go Danny auzy,
Oh good time? Am I? Did you like to come out of the
first night get some kangaroo with me? Oh my god, come on.
The eclipse is affecting well. This madness has just been leading up to the
eclipse the last twenty years. Are there people out there who are like bumming
the the eclipse muss because yes, those people need to call in. Oh
are you one of those people, Danny? Yeah, at all those people
need to call in. I'm bummed that we're not gonna be able to see
it. We don't know. We're still waiting on the latest models. Yesterday
was crystal clear, cool today and still PEPSI. Many said that it was
all cloudy yesterday too. If you look like a week ago. I know
it's the countdown to the countdown right now, but I think we're gonna get
a window. And even if it is super cloudy, do these superglasses look
through the clouds. They can see through it. That's what that's what the
isl was looking for when they regulate these glasses. Yep, straight through the
clouds. It'll still be cool even if there's clouds, because the earth will
become dark for four minutes. And we said four minutes. But twelve twenty
three is when this bad boy gets rolling. Oh really, that's when the
act the moon starts, So you're gonna yeah, so it's gonna be kind
of I got My plan is rush home, nap okay up at noon,
maybe do some stretches and slav squat necessary information. No, I think He's
right. We all should stretch our lower bodies for this. I will admit,
even though I know we're trying to promote everyone to go hang out with
the minutes against you on the speakeasy, Yet today ten to six, I
was gonna go and just take part, and then once I hurl the traffic
warnings, then I'll update you on in thirty minutes, once I hurdle this
traffic warnings, I said, I probably just take a old nap and there's
a local park near my house and take a lawn chair over there. And
that's kind of what I mix a delicious whiskey drink at noon. And is
that right? Oh? Yeah? Do you feel like we should do something
different during these four minutes or during this time? Something different? Well?
I mean and for me drinking a whiskey would be certainly different for a Monday,
not for the old me that would have been over. Don't come to
my house or you're just gonna sit at home? Right? I think me
and Malchi will walk up to the park. Yeah, the park could be
cool unless it's packed. I mean, I know people who are like letting
some schools canceled, some office places are normally doing the whole, like I
don't come in today, just stay. I mean, here's what do you
think the policy is here? All hands on dess A lot of Monday bodies
usually here anyways, just one woman putting a little water into one plant.
That's what happens in our building on Monday Mondays. But Wednesday pizza party and
then we'll see you next Wednesday. Uh yeah, throw down on Wednesdays.
Just a regular park by his house is not going to be packed, No,
I would think not. And if it is, it'll be packed with
all my neighbors that I've come to develop wonderful relationships with over the years.
But this celestial phenomenon is bringing in tons of visitors to our land. So
places we might tend to think or not crowded might be crowded. Today traffic
was easy on the way in. Yeah, it was fine. Do you
think so, Clyde Warren? Is that because they're STI they're saying road closures
right around. I know we're gonna do it. Whatever is it gonna be
like nut to butt? Nut to plus you really think so nuts hitting but
all day just gently slapping forward, but get the butts in front of them.
If you go from ten to six, though you beat the traffic,
and then by six the traffic's already cleared out. Just tay for eight hours.
Have you guys seen any actual evidence of an influx of people in town?
No? No, as far as track. The only thing I can
tell is, for whatever reason, the bar last night did about three times
the business that we normally would. Ah. And it's in deep Elm,
so it's you know, it might be one of those things people come into
town they look up, Oh, what's a cool place to hang out?
And you know it's in the past. It's made some you know, good
lists of patios and dive bars and whatnot. So that's the only thing that
I could attribute that to. And it was night, I mean, perfect
weather, yesterday perfect I went out to have breakfast yesterday morning. I loved
the public breakfast because we can't do it during the week, could after the
show, and I did. As I walked in to Cindy's, a guy
was wearing a shirt that had a bunch of stars on it. Planets made
me think he was a little interested three though I was out of town or
didn't ask. Yeah, walk, being that he's wearing a shirt I did
take a mental note that this guy is thinking about galaxies a lot. Fascinating,
So we got one. I did not notice that I was over at
Cash's place, which is close enough to Clyde Warren this weekend and no,
nothing, nothing crazy, although I do think they might have some barricades up
sort of it. Clyde Warren And oh don't you think that news people over
estimate and over inflate these types of things. Yes, yeah, it's almost
like a plan for the worst policy and then it never delivers. Well,
people are saying, like half a million people coming into DFW. They love
that stuff because it's on it's you can't prove it, it's impossible to prove.
So they love throwing out big numbers and they love anything they can turn
into a news story. But how we talked at nausea about the damn eclipse
heavy and we are right now, Yeah, like we're contributing to well,
there's evidence we have something to go off of. What Montana Remember the story
from the twenty seventeen eclipse and Montana, we did this story a couple of
weeks ago, three weeks ago. What happened? Well, they had too
many people and the one big freeway got so jammed up that people were having
to get out of their car. Yeah, and go number one and number
two on the side of the road. That's not uncommon up there. I
think that was Chicago. That was Wyoming, And don't you do what I
think you're about to do. And I think they went into a river.
It was a river. They don't have rivers in Montana. There's no fly
fishing in Montana. I'm actually just gonna hold strong here and not give in.
I think you think about the worst traffic days that Dallas has and it's
Texas ou right, and that is just what The Cotton Bowl holds one hundred
thousand at its best. They're predicting four to five times that, so you
would think, I mean, this is a look, this thing will start
on time more than anything has ever started on time late to the podium,
right, so for the Bucks and the Knicks to get finished wherever. But
the one good thing is you know that people have different destinations exactly different destination
points all over the area. It's not like they're going to one central place
like the Cotton Bowl. But Clyde Warren is some a popular place is Yeah,
it might be insane. But I just cannot imagine a half a million
people coming to Dallas Fort they just have data. Don't believe hotels booked flights
expecting tons of delays. How many cancelations are going to happen that people that
are in driving distance are going to look at the weather forecast, cancel their
hotels, not come up here. I think this cloud, you know,
predicted cloud coverage, is going to kill this. This is a huge day
for the artists. Normally formerly known as the dark cloud, it's your biggest
day, the old dude, the ultimate dark cloud is the one that ruins
the eclipse for the world. Right, what if it's crystal clear out and
they're just a single dark cloud that just sits in front of the sun and
the moon. Look, I want airplane comes by with that makes like words
out of smoke, just writes Banni Bayless over where the sun and the moon
are Bayless rules. I'm glad you've changed, man. I want this to
happen. I want to see it. I don't want to see it.
I don't want clouds. Things happen to good people. We're all going to
see it, at least for a flash. The clouds are going to part
Yeah, and there it is. I mean, you got a three year
old kid who can't remember. I thinking of my six year old niece that
was old enough to remember this. And I remember when there was a weird
as the lounar is the one that made a toenail. But I remember going
out in the backyard and like my parents are like explaining to me what's happening,
and it was just awesome and I want to I was probably that same
age, like I do want this all to happen because this may not happen
again. It won't in terms of totality for Dallas in our lifetime, never
again. You'd have to travel to see it. You could chase one,
but he wants to go chasing the clips. I don't know some people do,
though. Apparently you have that one hundred and five year old man right.
Oh, he had to love her. Look at the airport, so
they're showing live shots in the airport empty. It's not empty, it was.
It's empty because of the fear of what a Boeing will do to you.
More on that at seventeen boy that struck Southwest over the weekends. Yeah,
I see, it's not just United folks, it's everywhere Alaska. See
people flying in is odd. I guess anyone within an hour or two I
can see you driving. Well, I gets it now, the people driving
to Hillsborough. A lot of people drove down to Austin. Yeah, I'll
tell you what. The people that booked flights to time it perfectly to be
in the air when when the damn thing happens, they're the ones looking like
geniuses. Now, yeah, because if there's clouds, you're going to be
above the clouds. I can see it. But think of I think that.
Okay, that seems to like the dumbest idea. It's to book a
flight just to see you can be in a plane for that. Like,
what are the odds that you even it's only half the plane gets it,
and only like one and a half to two seats out of those people kind
of really get it because fat head broad has got our whole head in the
window with their phone covering a little part that isn't her face. Yeah,
and you know, I just lean back for one second and then one of
the odds that you're okay, the second seat in your field of view is
really small, so is the pilot going to have given you a full show.
Here is the pilot looping or doing right? No, that's not they
can't do that. He's asleep. Like, what are the odds that you're
just aligned perfectly with this? Okay? And that would be kind of neat
if you can see it. But man, that's a lot of trust to
put into their Go with the airport and get onto a plane and time it
out. I'm sure you figured this out and booked the seat that you wanted
in advance to know which side of the plane you needed to be on.
Right. Flights are filling up, though, and they were charging like triple
for them, and it might be less about It might be less about actually
having eyes on the actual Sun Moon collision and just seeing being up there watching
the entire planet got dark for four minutes. This is why you should book
flights on Sarroy Air. We have planes with all window seats and they're permanent,
all windows. We're all else. Different flight. Is it a glass
plane? Different flight? And what do you wonder? Woman press proprietary,
they're not bowing, Zoe, that's your slogan. Air We're knowing. We
make our own plate from scratch, Throy scratch airplane kitchen, artisan planes,
artisan farming table, hand crafted planes, organic plate. That seems like a
big, busty natural segue into weekend crab. Okay, all right now,
no, it's having fun. Good? Are you having a good time over
the weekend. We're going to talk about it. I'll go first and it'll
be quick because I know you guys want to hear about it. I spent
a good eight hours watching WrestleMania yesterday. No, no, I actually did
want to hear because my timeline last night, and then I remembered I don't
have peak on too much, but I will ask you both to acknowledge your
comedy. Tribal chief shales her wall because I didn't watch any Saturday, so
I'm like, I woke up Sunday. I'm all right, cool, let
me speed watch Saturdays. Oh then that thing, it's five hours. It's
their super Bowl. It's their super Bowl, two days in a row,
that last both days, last twice as long as the Super Bowl. Yeah,
Danny was there. What does that mean? He was there? He
was one of the superstars in attendant. Yeah, walle was there and Meek
Mill. Uh you feel like that makes sense? I don't have too much
to report. I just it took too long. I did. Something happened
last night that was huge. Yeah, spoilers everyone, in case you're planning
to spend from noon until four pm today staring at your television screen the return
of a dead Man after Oh yeah, but more impartly after one three and
sixteen days at the top of the world, some say, but at least
on top of the w W. Roman Reigns went down in defeat to the
American Nightmare Cody Rhods as predicted, as predicted by Brody, But he did
predict this was gonna happen a year ago too. It's true he had a
choice loss last year, and then he had an entire year to attempt to
finish his story, and it happened just last night. Now, for old
heads like me, he's the son of Dusty right, he is Dusty Roads,
the American Dream, Cody Rose the American Nightmare. That's some good storytelling
and Romans. Am I wrong? I'm going off clips of my timeline.
Didn't he have a choice to make? He could go left and take out
his other opponent, or he could hit Cody Rhodes and get the and be
the champ. Boy, that's a weird question, Kevin. I don't know
much about this. I would say no to that. I think did you
watch the main event? Yeah, I watched it. I don't know what
that means. The three guys in the ring, there was a lot of
guys in the ring because it was Yes, there was kind of no rules
the Battle Royale, so listen to how it goes right, No, it
wasn't a Battle Royal. It's Roman Reigns right, the champ and all of
his friends are allowed to help. That makes sense because they won the match
on Saturday night. Okay, so they got bloodline rules. And then Cody
just one man by himself fighting against the world with the world at his back.
Yeah, and then Cody Rose is about to win and then uh,
Roman Range's nephew comes out. Kai, it's a right. He cheap shots
Cody Rhodes and he needs help. So then so you know, a friend
of Cody Rhodes comes out whatever, and then we get to the big names
and John Cena comes out okay, fing nowhere like nobody had seen him the
entire weekend all year. I don't know where he's been, Like during the
oscars, he didn't have anything. With a little envelope in front of him.
He shuffles full speed down the ramp a tiny little championship belt. Uh
that he comes out right and it's like, oh my god, John Seena
say the day. And then the rock comes out and kicks John Cena's ass
and it's like wow, I Roae Moraine is back on top. And then
what do we hear? Okay? Can I have it? Hold on?
No, I saw it. This, This is worth playing. I'm your
thing in What do I think? Is it the gong? Hold on?
We like playing pops here, I'll play a pops some low level clouds and
also maybe some breaks in those too much weather? Okay, here we go,
Here we go. I think I have it now weather okay, ready,
yeah, I don't know. Yeah, the rock is out there.
Hold on? Oh wait a second? Is this is this going to be
stone cold again? Holy Test? Go ahead, man. The acting is
exquisite. The undertaker, okay, the announce Look, we're in radio.
We do this like there is a piece of you that could watch this and
go, oh my god. These guys are amazing. When you look at
the announcers, think about that. Michael Cole, Holy Christ oh what follow
well to adopt that. I thought he was going to love some wrestling too.
He actually made a wrestling reference during the game yesterday. I don't remember
what it was, Holy Christ. I think he yelled at Disco Inferno after
Johnte tied the game. So then the under comes out and kicks the rocks
ass, so then it kind of bounces out and then even just and Cody
roads out there again. So bring me up to speed. Is the Undertaker
supposed to be dead? I'm always always dead? Yeah, I don't get
it. He's the dead Man. Did interview him a few years ago,
and he's interesting. Has it been like out of the scene for a long
time now, even when he was at his peak. He's the dead Man.
He's he's somewhere in between the world that you know in the afterlife.
Oh my god, he's the Undertaker. Okay, that's why you yell Holy
Christ when he shows up, because he's come from the nether world. What
does he look like a bunch of me and old Texan? Now? Does
he have a bunch of ghoulish makeup on? He used to in a more
cartoon based wrestling landscape. Yeah, he had like kind of purple under his
eyes, and he kind of looked like a makeup covered undertaker, but then
he turns into sort of a demon undertaker. I don't know who was the
guy. When Roman Rains is standing there with a chair, Cody Rhoads is
on the right, there's a guy on the left, had blonde hair,
Cody Rhodes. No, no, no, blank long hair. Michael Hayes,
Michael, Michael Hayes. That's a fabulous Oh, that's a that's Vince
Neil, Vince Nail. Damn it, it's Nick Creamery. Nick Creamer showed
up saying that had a choice take out Cody Rhodes or the emotions hit him
from something that happened that was seth Rawlins, seth Rawlins, and then he
said from something from the past. Yeah, well that was part of what
it was is people from the past were helping a certain side, the good
or the bad. And seth Rawlins used to be with Roman Reins in a
faction called the Shield. I can see how this would be awesome if you
cared about and he hit him with a chipicate seth Rowans ended the Shield by
hitting Round Moraines with a chair. Ten years ago, so yes from Moraine's
hit. He took out Henry Rollins and then and then Vince Neil was there.
I thought the Shield ended with Vick mckew working a desk job. Okay,
look, that's great, good FX joke from two thousand and one.
I made I watch most of this. How'd she take that? I mean,
by the end of it, she loved it. She's a gamer.
She's a gamer, and it's funny as hell. Okay, you know,
okay, you're not gonna like this. We both laughed at least ten times,
her out loud at Pat McAfee jokes because he does. He does play
by play for WrestleMania. That's really funny. And she's like, I've never
even considered Pat McAfee in my life, and he's cracking me up right now.
She loved him. I'm going to open my mind up to Pat McAfee.
I'm not even really suggesting that you do that. But he's funny in
this because he gets it. He knows the whole thing is a joke,
but a little bit serious for some. But he does make it funny anyway.
Cody Roads did it ended the end of the Reign of Roman. There
was family in the ring. It's two comedy surprises this weekend. Pat McAfee
funny and SNL was actually funny this weekend. All right, it's funny most
weeks if you really dig in Danny. But we're not gonna go there.
That weekend crap starts and I say I'll just go real quick, and then
I take the whole thing. Mike, Mike, Coming up next, I've
got the latest on the weather and traffic for today's big viewing. Okay,
plus a special surprise and how I saved a party over the weekend. Next
to ninety seven won the free